Does anyone else struggle with fussy kids? My nine-year-old son, is so fussy, he will literally go to bed and refuses to eat till breakfast time.! I’ve tried cooking his favorite food twice a week, but he always demands it every day. I’ve also tried to only let him eat fruit when he gets home from school. Please help mama’s x. Any advice would be awesome!
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A great saying in my house is " you get what you get and don’t throw a fit."
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Stop allowing it. Put your foot down. You are the parent.
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Maybe try taking him grocery shopping. Have him help pick ingredients out (fruits veggies side’s etc) have him help cook dinner and look up new recipes to try. Have him watch some new recipes and see what he would be willing to try. It helps
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When I was younger, I struggled with anxiety a lot. I didn’t know that’s what it was at the time, but it would get overwhelming and I didn’t want to eat even my favorite foods. All I wanted to do was lay in bed and read or do homework. That may not be it but it might be worth talking to him and find out if something is bothering him.
If he doesnt eat he doesnt eat. He will eventually get hungry. Its not fussy its trying to take control and have you cater to him so he gets what he wants. My 8 year old just broke this habit somewhat still a struggle sometimes but she now eats what is offered. And fruit and veggies are always offered no matter what time of day instead what they “want”
Kids Eat in Color
Always has good tips on picky eaters 
If he’s hungry he will eat. Right now he knows if he stresses you out about it he gets his way. Just male it clear thisnisnt a restaurant and you either eat or don’t. Period.
Keep doing what youre doing. He’ll eventually eat whatever you make. My 10 year old isnt picky but some nights she just doesnt want dinner so i just make sure shes hydrated
I would let him go to sleep hungry and ignore any inappropriate behavior. I spent many nights hungry as a kid because my mom wasn’t about to put up with that. I survived.
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Eating is a choice. Everybody eat when you get hungry enough.
Hes 9, he isnt gonna starve himself if u dont cater to him. Tell him suck it up and make him try new stuff.
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My mom had a rule: eat what I make or there is cereal.
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I struggle with my 2 year old too. We are working with an OT, but I just put out what I’m serving and if he doesn’t eat then he doesn’t eat. I worry about his weight, but at 18 months he was in the 98th percentile on weight, so I figure he has the wiggle room. Some nights he sees what’s for dinner, after he didn’t want to eat his lunch, and he literally just breaks down in tears and sobs. It breaks my heart because I can’t explain to him like I can when my 11 year old wants crap food instead of what I’m offering. I let him go though. He gets a cup of milk with supplemental toddler formula (and sometimes fruit/veg puree) in it at bedtime, so he’s at least getting some calories and vitamins before bed. We are just working slowly on trying new foods. That’s all we can do until he’s old enough to communicate back and forth about trying new foods or eating some of what he’s served. According to the doctor and therapist, unless he is losing weight, there’s really no reason to give in other than you don’t want to have the argument. But that’s part of having difficult kids who you are trying to keep off of “My 600 lb Life”.
Just stop giving in. He will eat when he is hungry. He knows you give in. Let him go “hungry” a couple nights until it clicks that you’re not messing around.
Seems you have already tried just letting him starve until he is hungry, I would tey taking him shopping with you and let him choose some meals, make deals, you have can have your meal twice a week but if you want it three times you have to try one of my meals. Texture could be a big thing also for him so I pay attention to what he can actually eat and figure out the similarities
When I was a kid we had to eat what was cooked for dinner or don’t eat nothing at all eventually I started eating what was on my plate 
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Grow up n be the parent not his friend…
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My 9 year old does this some nights too but then regrets it come the following morning when it causes him to throw up because he didn’t eat the night before. On nights he’s being extremely picky we make another option available so he doesn’t end up waking up throwing up due to refusing to eat what we serve. He’s starting to come around on some meals that he would just plain out refuse to it only to recently coming to the realization that he actually liked the meal we served and he got very upset with himself for all the times we’ve had that meal and for the longest time he refused to eat it. This most recent improvement was for Spaghetti. We can finally have it without any complaints from the peanut gallery.
He won’t starve. Offer him food each mealtime. If he chooses not to eat it then he waits until next meal. He will out grow it if you remain consistent. Talk to him to see if there is something deeper that’s bothering him. He could be asking for attention by this behavior for reasons other than food. His behavior could also be his asking who is in charge and if he is an adult yet.
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Think kids today taste buds are diffrent…Try to tell him if he will just try it …He will get a treat…Kids are funny he won’t starve…My grandson has autism and only eats nuggets…pizza…mac and cheese…fries…Hes 21 now and survive
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My son is picky too. He’s 8. Nutrisure from weis has helped him gain weight.
I make a variety for each meal and I make sure there are at least 2 items that he likes.
I tell my grandson to try it and if he doesn’t like it then spit it into his napkin
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My 10 year old is awful
Not a short order cook. You eat what your served or you don’t eat at all. He’s also old enough to make himself a “pb&j”. Im only a short order cook when someone is ill in this house otherwise fend for yourselves
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Well you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit. Let him go to bed without dinner, it’s not going to kill him.
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This is what’s wrong with kids! If I’m cooking mine is at the very least trying what I’m making. I don’t make separate meals. I cook, she eats. If I make something I know she can’t stand then I make an extra side for her. But she even tells her little friends when they come over “you have to eat what mom cooks or don’t eat”! I’ve never understood the “I only fix what they like” s$$t. Be a mom and not a buddy. It works. I have a 7 yr old that will try anything and only dislikes a few things and that’s because of texture. When we go to ethnic restaurants she shares whatever I’m eating. I’ve never let her order off the kids menu because “she might not like it” .
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He needs to be a helper in the purchasing and fixing of his own food. He needs to have some control. My daughter was so picky, but we found out she had irritable bowel syndrome and lots of foods made her be in pain. She gave up meat and dairy and walked a lot and was much better. Has your son had a good physical?
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I included the kids in the cooking. I found if they help make it they were more inclined to eat it. I also asked their thoughts and suggestions. They’re grown now (36,33,28)and everyone is a super cook! My youngest is still particular but is more open minded.
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Our rule was they had to sit at the table with the family and had to taste everything on their plate… we called it a “no thank you” bite. If they did not like it they just said no thank you. The only other thing they could have was a peanut butter sandwich but they had to make it themselves after dinner was over. It happened very rarely but at least I felt it had some nutrition. Nothing else until breakfast.
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I would stop the snacks after school before dinner. If the child eats dinner than can have snack before bed. Make the child sit a the table with family during meals weather they decide to eat or not. By 9 should be old enough to know you dont always get your favorite for dinner.
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One of the biggest problems is kids accepting they are told No… A kid needs to understand the you won’t get what you want all the time. So say okay and go. We ate what mom cooked, Or you didn’t eat at all. But mom usually had under $50.00 to spend on groceries for 3 people. if we was lucky. My one meal of the day was school lunch. Yay had a father who didn’t pay $182.00 child support for 2 kids. My grandsons help with cooking and know who to make pb&J and noodles.
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My rules with my kids was you must eat 3 bites of each thing we fix, then if you don’t want to eat more that is fine, but i am not fixing anything else. Yes, they could fix themselves pbj, but not.me. no dessert or snacks unless they ate the meal. the 3 boys are grown and very diverse eaters. They like sushi, I tolerate it.
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Let him help plan menus/ look up recipes. Pick out 5 meals he likes or have ingredients he likes. Involve him in shopping/ meal prep on the weekend then help him with quickly cooking or putting the meal together in the evenings. Make sure everyone praises his efforts and the meals. He may try new things and see that he can incorporate some of his favorite things into meals that the family enjoys and that are healthy. Worth a try and may save you some time in the evenings too.
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When my kids were like that, they went to bed without eating. But before they did, they had to put the food they didn’t want to eat that I made in a container and eat it for breakfast the next morning. If they didn’t eat it for breakfast, then lunch. They stopped doing that quickly.
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He won’t starve. It is a power play. You need to stand your ground and let it be known that he either eats what you cook or he goes to bed hungry… apparently he has no problem with that.
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Most foods I’ve seen kids claim they dislike are ones they have no clue what’s in it. Have him help make meals. If he refuses to help and he complaims and won’t eat, let him skip the meal.
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Believe this or not, I never forced my kids to eat if they didn’t like what was served…however before bed I would give them a snack so they didn’t go to bed hungry. They both grew up fine and have healthy eating habits. Lol. Call me a bad mom, but it worked for us.
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Kids won’t starve themselves. Buy and put in front of them healthy nutritional food. They will eat it. A lot of my friends have picky kids but they also have junk food at there fingertips. It’s counterproductive and won’t help.
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He’s 9. He’s going to go thru growth spurts where he eats everything he sees and times when he don’t want to eat at all. It’s normal. Don’t withhold fresh fruits tho. Those are good for him. And don’t stress so much over it. Make your dinner and feed your family.
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My boy is super fussy. He is now 17. And a healthy solid dude!! He still only eats chicken corn cheese pizza apples plain yogurt grilled cheese We thought it was impiety to feed our child and as he gets older he will figure more stuff out. I say just feed him
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People!! Stop enabling your entitled children. The world has to deal with them!! If you make something for any kid over two years old and they dont eat it, then it’s on them! My doctor always told me, they will eat when they are hungry. When a child over three is fussy, it’s time to a good old fashioned spanking. Who is the parent here anyway!!
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Only feed him what every one else is eating. If he don’t eat, that’s to bad. He will eat when he is hungry enough.
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My daughter has sensory issues with foods, it is actually more common than you may think, yes they will refuse to eat and get sick. We are attempting to slowly i introduce foods, she only has to to try one bite, but when she starts eating a new food she will earn a small reward. It is not always about the child being spoiled.
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He’s not gonna starve let him go to bed without dinner let him say no I’m not gonna eat that. But don’t provide choices. Your way. You are the parent. Children need discipline they need structure and rules. Life will be easier with consistency.
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I once slept at the dinner table because I wasn’t allowed to leave until my meatloaf was gone. My mom then tried to get me to eat it for breakfast so I opted to go to school hungry. By the end of the school day my resolve had dissipated. After a stern talking to things got back on track. I think I mightve tried it once or twice after that but that was it.
At the end of the day your child is making a stand and you are giving in. Even doing it twice a week to appease him is just empowering him to continue pushing for more. There is no reason he can’t eat what is served, stop letting him call the shots.
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Respect absolute dislikes. But forget fixing his faves every night. He’ll survive without dinner a night or two. When he is hungry, he will eat what you give him. Avoid emotional blackmail using food.
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When my daughter was around 6 all she would eat was cereal. I talked to her doctor and he said let her eat it as long as she eats something she will be ok. Lasted about a month. Then she ate whatever I cooked. Never made special meals
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My father believed that you either ate what was put in front of you or you ate nothing. We were poor and food was not always abundant to waste. Let the kid go to bed without eating and when he sees he is not really winning, he will stop the foolishness. You are the parent, it you let your child walk over you on the small stuff, it’s only a matter of time before they walk over you on the big stuff. This is why we have a problem with disrespectful “adults” in this country today.
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make him sit at table with everyone eating. He refuses to eat fine but he should still be at the table with everyone . dinner as a family. He can;t go to bed until dinner is over. He should be expected to behave as part of the family. watching them eat and smelling the food might make him realize what he is missing and no supper no dessert rule.
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My daughter was a nanny for a young man with the same issues. They agreed to a certain numbers of bites and an amount that went on his plate. Giving him some control was a great thing and he widened his range of foods.
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Aint no kid every died from not eating diner and no snack don’t give in
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Stop catering to him. He will not die from missing a few meals. If he dosent eat what you fix, he goes hungry.
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I have a picky child, now 17. I have always only made one meal. You either eat or don’t even now. It used to take her an hour and a half to eat a serving of green beans. Now she will tell you and her friends… eat what mom makes, you won’t get anything else.
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A couple of my kids tried pulling that stunt. They refused to eat dinner because it wasn’t something that they liked. So I put the food up for their breakfast and sent them to bed. Next morning, they didn’t get the fun breakfast like everyone else. They had left over dinner that they didn’t eat. My kids learned quick that you need to be grateful to have food where many others don’t. Now, they clean their plates and do dishes without complaint. So… let him continue his behavior and don’t give in to him. If you give in once, he’ll know you’ll do it on other things as well. Good luck.
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My son was a fussy eater when he was young, he would only eat bread. I made it for him anyway toast, plain etc. it doesn’t matter what he eats as long as he does. Ask him what he wants and maybe that will help. Even a milkshake will do as long as he doesn’t go to sleep hungry. Good luck.
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One things is your child shoukd not be demanding anything! Really?
Either you eat it or go hungry.
Be the boss you are the parent.
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Believe me kids will eat when hungry and what you offer. Stop pampering him. He is at that testing age and how can you control a teen when you give in to him now. You are creating another generation of entitled adults who feel thet deserve no matter what.
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Is his favorite going to kill him? Let him eat it, he’ll get sick of it and try new things when he’s ready. He should have been already but oh well
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It’s a just thing he’s going through my son o e time for two month all he would eat was spaghetti o or hot dogs just give his favorite plus something extra he isn’t gonna starve if he doesn’t eat dinner
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I always try to make at least I thing they like wether it be a side dish or main course. Also by involving them in cooking makes them more apt to try new foods. I never forced my kids to eat something they didn’t like. I hated Thanksgiving because we were forced to eat a little bit of everything. I hated turnip still do.
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My son is not a meat eater never has been. If he eats meat he gets really sick so he will eat vegetables or fruit but if he doesn’t like what we have. He will say no thank you and make cereal for himself. But he is also 9 years old. Sometimes he will say he’s not hungry because he ate a big lunch at school.
Your the parent if he doesn’t want to eat what you fixed just say ok I’ll fix you a plate eat it or not it’s the microwave you ARE the BOSS not him
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Who is the parent in your house? You or the kid? You set the rules and boundaries and be consistent. If your kid don’t eat what you cook let it go to bed hungry. Don’t give in. No snacks or anything different. A kid will not starve itself to death.
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I was always a you eat what I cook mom with few exceptions. One think my pediatrician said to try was having my picky eater pick a color and each time that week I cooked something that color he had to eat some. Trust me he became creative in colors but I just bought lots of food coloring. Haha. Who knew you could make carrots blue!!
Also I have heard of moms having their children all plan the menus be night a week. Then they also helped cook it when it was their night. That way they all got to help and learned meal planning.
Good luck. My picky eater is now 30 and eats everything
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You’re not a restaurant and menu. Put his meal on the table if he doesn’t eat so be it. Don’t make his meal every evening.
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Truly it’s just not worth the stress this is causing him or you, if all he will eat is a bowl of cereal three,four times a day, then let him eat what he will eat, both of you will get past this, you only have to win the war not the battle, pick your battle, this isn’t it, as long as your not having issues in other areas of his life and behavior, he will out grow this, it truly could be a sensory issue, enjoy your child, good luck
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If he wont eat what is in front of him, he gets nothing until the next meal.
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I had one who was fussy. He did try new foods and if he did truly not like a food I never made him eat it. I was not a short order cook at all lol but I did try to cook what was appealing to all.
I got tired of my kids complaining about “not liking” dinner. So I made all three of them find a recipe from a cookbook, make a grocery list and cook with my assistance. They complained a lot less when they saw what went into meal prep. As adults, they eat just about anything. I like the idea of having them make a sandwich AFTER the family is finished. Great suggestion!
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My kids can get like that too. Our rule is you eat what is fixed or have a peanut butter sandwich. I got tired of never having different foods because the youngest refused to try new foods. Luckily she has since started at least tasting what I fix and has realized that there are other foods out there besides mac and cheese and chicken nuggets. We also cut out all snacks between meals to make sure the problem wasn’t that they were full at dinnertime.
My oldest went through a phase where he would only eat spaghetti. Only spaghetti. Nothing else. After two months, he was done with it. He’s 27 now with a baby of his own. We all survived.
My daughter had issues with texture and overcoming visuals that made her not want to even try certain things. (Sensory issues) She learned to cook her favorites so if I wasn’t making it she made it herself. It took many years but she started eating more and more things. She is 23 and still kind of picky but has a healthier diet.
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I was a picky eater when I was little…the doctor told my mom “not to worry she won’t starve, she’ll eat when she gets hungry enough.” My parents were kind enough to have something I would eat at dinner, I wasn’t a meat eater when I was younger and limited veggies and starch.
If he’s growing and meeting milestones I would say don’t stress, but whatever you do check with your pediatrician for guidance.
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You are setting that Child up for a VERY unhappy life — you cook he eats when he gets hungry ,do not ask him So. So sorry for child that is so unloved that a Parent will not prepare then for what life lies ahead
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let him cook ; play in tub with boats and such water is amazingly restorative. ask him ; ask his teacher if she could comment on cause of this . is he grouchy on weekends and vacations ? good luck
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No snacks!
Set a regimen.
He has to eat dinner (whatever is served) for a full week in order to get a snack.
Be consistent; every week!
i think all this punitive attitude makes a very angry child. parenting is not for sissies let’s try and figure out why he is so unreasonable. it may be a very real issue
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I find it very interesting, all the solutions on children eating… I was married 56 years and interestingly, really didn’t have a great problem with my 2 girls… One actually was very picky. the younger one would eat anything. The picky one had a problem with textures… Did not make her eat food that she didn’t like…Always had something for meals that all liked so wasn’t really a huge problem… I definitely cooked meals my husband liked… Was in the days that Moms did the cooking and we ate together at 5:30 every evening . Was in the days when Mom’s were stay at home… I know it’s so different now, so many Mom’s work and coming home for meals is stressful .My thought is if you have a picky eater let them eat what they want even if it is cereal , grilled cheese. pbandJ. I would never spank a child for not eating… Good way to have an eating disorder . I can’t remember ever having a problem as a child except I would never eat Liver and onions, my Moms favorite …She always had a different dinner for the rest of our family. Meals really weren’t a problem for my family… My picky eater always had something she liked… Anyway, that’s my story… Good Luck all of you gals…
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Make him part of the process. Grocery shopping and dinner prep. Make it clear that he eats what everyone else does or he doesn’t eat. He will not starve himself. Being part of the process may help
If he’s that hungry, he will eat. Stop playing to his wants and needs all the time, you will create a monster. Tough love is sometimes the best love our kids can receive.
In our house if you don’t eat your meal you don’t get snacks🤷♀️ otherwise my kids would ONLY want snacks. Around 3 is when we really crack down on the no snacks if they don’t eat their meal. We never make them eat all their food if they don’t want to but we will save it in case they decide they actually want to eat so they can have a snack. My oldest is 13 and we never have problems with him eating any meal now. My 4 year will have nights where he whines because he wants a snack but he didn’t eat his dinner so he resolves to finishing dinner and getting his snack but it’s few and far between now. My husband always says kids won’t starve and eventually eat and they do. We also do a menu plan every month so the kids know what we are eating for dinner every night. I don’t know if it helps but I always put at least one meal each kid loves on the menu too.
Ik so this kid is 9 tears old! Somebody has let him get by with this behaviour for 8 years and now you think you can fix it over night, kids do what they can get by with. You cook what you want. You out it in the table. Also put a jar of peanut butter on the table. Let him choose which he wants. If he eats fine. If he dont that’s fine too. Hes not going to go hungry. He will probably pitch a fit to start with but that’s OK too. Stay strong and dont give in. Remember. You are the parent.
Have his blood sugar levels checked. Also fruit by itself is not the best snack as can cause sugar spikes add som chees or other protein. My daughter use to be so cranky when I pucked her up from daycare. I found out a snack containing protein leveled her out. Pepperoni cheese yogurt. Dont automatically think hes being a brat. Also. Was not a short order cook but if the kids didnt like the meal they could have a pbj or cheese sandwich. We as adults dont like all foods why do we insist kids shouldand if you know they dont like broccoli why cook it for them…cook the veggie they like even if its the same on every night.
Tough question…I had a very picky son who did grow out of it but he went one step further and would puke if he saw someone eating a food he didn’t like…He loved meat and and kind of crunchy potatoes (ie…fries,hashbrowns, etc.) ,some raw veggies and fruit…No cheese, or bread, no sauces…He was so funny that he would eat cereal and drink milk but not together…I know some kids refuse meals because of allergy or sensitivity…Their body knows it’s bad for them but the kids may not realize why it doesn’t look appetizing…Its hard
Turn the tables and show him who is in charge. He is running the show. I am sure you can do it . Be patient .
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I have 5 kids and I don’t make special meals. My kids eat what I cook or go to bed without, they know if they don’t eat what is for dinner they don’t get anything else. They get hungry enough they will eat what is in front of them, they are not going to starve themselves. If you don’t get some control now, you are going to have bigger problems later. This is just my personal opinion and from experience with my own kids. They range from 6 to 18 years old and none of them are picky.
Won’t hurt him to go hungry! The eat what I made or they went without.
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In my home I don’t run a restaurant. You eat what I cook or you don’t eat. You don’t get to snack & you have to take a legitimate 2 bites of what is prepared
My kids ate what I made, never questioned it. My husband and I discuss dinner before but always eats what I make if I cook before he gets home. My pediatrician use to say they eat if their hungry.
It’s not fussy, it’s spoiled, he thinks you’re going to cater to him. Don’t. He will end up giving in, but you don’t give in. Say this is your option. I do that to mine, if they don’t want dinner, I will not make anything else. I do allow left overs, they can have something that is already made. I also do involve them in my dinner planning, I ask for ideas during the week.
Don’t worry, he won’t starve. He’ll eat when he gets hungry. Even if, it’s not his favorite. Let him not eat for awhile. Been there before, it works if you are the parent not his buddy.
Use the if you don’t like. What is being served, fine - you can make yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or have SKIP… (that means skip the meal)…no further discussion needed
I remember praying to the gods that my kids had food left over so that I could eat!! He eats what’s given to him or not his choice period.
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Just make sure he gets a nutritious breakfast. Let him skip supper, if he wants. Being forced to eat can really lead to eating.disorders, including obesity later in life. I was a picky eater, but spoiled, so my mom always had at least one thing I liked. However, I do still suffer from some of my fathers influence and have suffered from obesity. I will say, once I became a.starving.teenager out in the world, I became much less picky about different.foods.
As a retired teacher, I could tell which kids were in charge of the house! Pout if they don’t get their way!
Who’s the adult in this household. He eats what you put on the table or goes hungry. He will eventually get the message. He won’t starve I promise.
My 4 and 6 year old are picky too. I don’t make separate food however i try to cater to them when i can… Example: spaghetti, one of my kids hates the sauce… so i reserve a little bit of the plain spaghetti noodles and add butter and salt to them… and i also reserve some ground beef and put that on his plate… but to make a whole different meal. Nope. I try to get creative
Literally don’t just down right refuse food when they ask. Thats child abuse. It doesn’t matter if they didn’t want to eat before. When your child is hungry, you feed them. Simple as that. Give them a tasty healthy snack when they are ready to eat.