How do you deal with your fussy kids?

We never paid any attention to them. I cooked put it on the table. Got up from table cleaned
Was dishes.Done ?If starts I don’t like, I ignore. When birthday comes we celebrate the whole week . They pick menu and I do their chores.this is what I do they are so special. I let them know it. I’m 75 now good luck

When I was little I would not eat Dr. Told my parents to be patient when he gets hungry he’ll eat something they left snacks out for me if I wanted something

That’s a little old to be fussy as you say. At that age he should be able to take care of himself if he doesn’t like what you serve. Real life is he won’t have a private chef unless he’s rich lol. My nine year old grandson cooks his own blackened fish,just to show the difference in children. Maybe spend some time teaching him to do his own instead of catering to him. I call it welcome to the real world lol.

Parents need to quit trying to be the friend all the time. Be a parent! The children would never act like that at someone else’s house but at home they know they’ll be spoiled and can act like a spoiled brat

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I never made my kids eat what they did not like. I made them try new things when I made them but never forced it because I don’t. I will cook it but not eat it. I always made sure we had a choice. If they chose not to eat dinner, they waited until morning. Raising 8 kids was difficult to find something all would eat. Same as taking them to a restaurant, they knew to behave and order what they knew they would eat.

He won’t starve. Let him go without. It won’t be pretty for awhile but in the end he will eat. No snacking.

Stop worrying about it. Make what you make and serve him. Yes he will go hungry. But eventually we will eat. My son did this for years I always caved and ran around like a waitress. After 8 years or so I was done. He ate what was on his plate or he didnt get a snack at all. Next meal say thing. He finally told me fine I will eat but I wont like it, ok. A few years later and he dislikes a few things. But mostly eats whatever is put in front of him.

I thought she mistakenly put 9 yr old snd mesnt 9 month old bc thats what that tantrum sounds like. You gone eat what i put before you. Or i can take back every gadget you love so dearly.

Why are you enabling him??? He eats what’s served or go to bed hungry!! Period!!

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Go back to your roots. When I was young my parents told me that I eat what was fixed or go hungry. Fix meals based on what you want to plan. Have him help you plan the meals and at least you both can compromise on what to eat. With my son we make our dinner menu for a week. It cuts out the fighting for the week, I also noticed if we don’t plan he gets picky. So compromising is better than forcing and fighting a child to eat.

I cook what I cook and any complaints are met with a get over it :woman_shrugging: I work too hard to be walked all over by children

Occupational therapy. They do sensory projects like playing with different colored textures, foods, etc. You may want to look into it.

My baby Dr told he if that is what he want let him have a least he is eating. If it is something had to make just make a lot of it and freeze it and he can have it everyday his taste buds will change

I never encouraged my children to eat. They would be invited to table, and we would say thanks to God (holding hands). I would put about 2 teaspoons of everything on their plate. It was their business to eat or not–but there wouldn’t be 2nds until those teaspoons were gone. If they got hungry later, there would be another meal coming later, too. On the other hand, if I suspected they were allergic or something, then of course that wouldn’t be offered to them. I do remember my mother finally admitting in her 80’s that she couldn’t stand corn. When I grew up we were not rich, and when the corn was ripening, we would have corn on the cob–and while Mom didn’t have 2nds for herself, and didn’t have a large portion, we never guessed that she didn’t like corn.

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I made my fussy kid learn how to cook for herself. If she wants something different she can make it.

I had triplets. They learned really quick they either what was on the table or they were hungry until the next meal.

Time to take back control. You’re the parent. Set rules and boundaries and reasonable consequences. You have to stick by them no matter how hard it is. And at this late in the game, it’s going to be hard.
Kids do what we allow them to do. If he’s refusing food you cook it’s bc he knows that he can wear you down to get what he wants.
Never threaten w a consequence you won’t follow through on. Dont be a pushover. Stand your ground and dont let them see you waver. Kids are savages and will take advantage of your weaknesses.

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He won’t starve. My parents made us eat what was cooked. If we didn’t eat it we went w/ o . You can’t cook everyone a different food.

I don’t think a spanking is ever the answer for a child who doesn’t want to eat! I had three children and always made sure I served something each one of them would eat. If he doesn’t want to eat, he doesn’t eat.

When he is hungry he will eat. Leave the food on the table and there it is. Give him supplements of kids protein vitamin drinks. He won’t starve. You already told him he will stay small and weak if he doesn’t. Don’t act like it is so imp. They like controll.

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My daughter ate oatmeal for a month because she didn’t like what my husband had made. It was her choice

Most children are not born fussy eaters. They are trained to be that way by their parents. I never did the short order cook thing. If I cooked it, you eat it or go hungry! I did try to incorporate their likes in the meal plann ing, but not everyone got their favorites every meal.

I was a picky eater. I wanted either maccaroni and cheese with pinto beans and corn bread or fried potatoes with chili beans and corn bread. So when my kids told me what they wanted , that is what I cooked. I would have them try other stuff occasionally but cook their food too.

I told my kids they eat what’s made or they starve :woman_shrugging: I make sure I dont make anything people dont particularly like or there is a sub if we make 1 side that isn’t liked but that’s it like I dont like shrimp so when I make them shrimp I get to order a cheese burger or if I make asparagus my 9 year old gets corn she eats the rest of the meal with us just not the asparagus she cant do the texture because of her adhd

You’ve created your own spoiled, demanding little monster, your not doing him or yourself any favors. People in the real world won’t put up with that mess. I put food on the table, you ate or you went without.

I d make 1 thing he likes at dinner & he has to try all of the other foods…
My kids had to eat a good snack before a junk food after school

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Trust me, you just offer the food. When he’s hungry enough he will eat. He will not starve.

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Your problem is this lady…you are letting him rule your house and he knows who is boss. Stop being this kids servant. He wont eat what is served…no more junk food…only as a treat…eat what is on table or sit there quietly and eat your meal. If he doesnt want it.clear the table when you get done, and he can go to bed…no snacks…no meal. Repeat it next morning fruit and cereal is fine…no eat…no snacks…dinner repeat.
You are the boss not him
Right now it is food…what will it be next? And he will escalate it.
He needs to be taught who runs your house…hard…yes necessary hell yes.

I’m late to this conversation. But, I raised my children to try everything (like others), even my sensory integration issues child. They’re all adults now and lived through this just fine.

Cater to them now it just gets worse they eat what you cook or go to bed hungry that will last 1 day. Food costs have soared why would you cook specially for one.

Make him his fav food for everyday on one day that you cook it and reheat in the microwave. Get specific containers . Meal prep for seven days . If he won’t eat when you guys eat then feed him his supper and soon as he is home for his afternoon snack . I learned along time ago to pick my battles . I don’t care if my daughter eats what we are eating as long as she eats and it’s not junk food

I’ve never heard of a well cared for child starving to death because they skipped dinner. Not even if they did it often. This behavior is expected for toddlers or preschoolers, but at not a 9 year old. He attends school, so he’s faced with doing things he’d rather not do each day, yet he does them anyway. Stop the after school snack so he’s hungrier for dinner. Send the snack to school to add to his lunch if you dont think he’s getting enough to eat. Explain to him he will eat what you serve, not just what he wants. If he refuses, don’t shout, beg, or fuss. Just excuse him from the table and that’s that. If you keep allowing this behavior at age 9, the behaviors will just get worse because he knows you’ll cave. Be strong. Your the parent, he’s the child. This is just one of many parenting battles you must win. Stay strong, take deep breaths, smile, and move forward.

Eat what cooked or peanut butter and jelly or nothing he want starve

No kid is going to starve if food is provided. He’ll eat unless there are other issues. Go to the doctor and have him thoroughly tested, mentally and physically. If he’s alright, stop catering to him. You’re not helping him mature and the world won’t care if he eats or not.

Giving him choices will have. I had a snack drawer in the fridg. I would ask him what 3 things her would like in the snack drawer. Take him with you shopping. Had to be fairly healthy. Little packages of cheese and crackers were a snack along with fruit , Cheese raisins.

I never remember as a youngster asking for certain foods to be prepared. We were lucky to have food!

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I worried about my kids when they were young, not eating enough. I asked my Dr. He asked me “Do they sit in lump, never playing, staring into space?” Hell no!!! They are a bunch of wild maniacs, never stop!!! He said, “They’re fine, they are getting enough.” And they were. Grew up strong and healthy and eat EVERYTHING!!!

Simple fix. When he recuses to eat his dinner, wrap it up and put it in the fridge. In the morning, microwave it and serve it to him. Doesn’t eat it? Do the same for lunch, dinner and on until he does eat it ALL. He won’t starve himself. He may miss a few meals, but not many. He will learn to eat what is served. And dont allow him any snacks (or fruit) until he eats what is served.

Well, I am 70 and our mother always gave us choices when she prepared meals . Would you like this or this ? And thats what she made . It just never seemed like a problem fir her to ask us what we would like to have . If she nade something for she and Dad that she knee we absolutely hated, she would make us something different . That was a rare thing , but it did happen on occasion. As young teenagers, we pretty much liked everything ! Wonderful mother !

He is looking for his boundaries. You have to set the rules. Be reasonable but firm. You can’t let him rule the entire family. Tell him what you have available and that’s it! He will have to live with it.

You be the parent. He does not tell you what to do. Mom don’t give in. He will understand when he grows up.

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Omg stop catering to him, when I prepared meals for my children they either ate or not. Their loss :roll_eyes:

Become a parent. Can still show love, but parents make rules. What will he be like as a teenager? Fussy is not correct. Spoiled brat is more apt. You need to grow up.

He will not starve to death ! Offer reasonable choices, but Do Not let him dictate the households menus !

YOU have allowed your child to become a demanding spoiled human…Stop catering to him and make him realize that he cannot always have his way in this life…If he chooses to not eat what is prepared—let him go to bed hungry…He won’t die from it…But he might just learn to have some respect for you,instead of thinking you are nothing but a pushover…

First of all, who’s the parent? Kids now are so spoiled and feel entitled. You’re not doing your kid any favors by letting them have whatever they want.

fix the dinner if he doesn’t eat he doesn’t eat…I also have a picky 9 year old and that’s just how it is in my house.

No , my kids were raised when kids went by parents rules, a long time ago

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When I was growing up, we ate what was put on our plates or we didn’t eat.

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When I was growing up (I’m 57 now) we ate was cooked or we did not eat. When I was raising our kids (33 and 36 now) they had to eat what was cooked or don’t eat. I was not a short order cook. My daughter did not (still does not) eat any kind of bean, unless it green beans. When she got old enough to heat up green beans or green peas herself then she could. My son would only eat dry beans, pintos, butter beans, black eyed peas with ketchup. If they were hungry before bed yes I would give them a snack. Your 9 old is old enough for you to make him sit there and try to eat something. Do you think he might have a dietary issue. Best of luck to you.

Don’t complain now that you made him that way. Who’s the parent here. If he doesn’t want whats for dinner next bath , pj”s and then goodnight. Try healthy shakes and good snacks.
He won’t starve and he will understand he’s not the Boss!!

I give my kids options and let them vote and choose between what they picked but if one says they wont eat it oh well. They were offered food and they have food in the house cooked that’s a them problem

Why would allow a nine year old demand anything.Eat what everyone else eats or do without.

Had a specialist for one of mine. She said it’s more important to watch how much they drink. Only water after 4:00 PM and only 4 oz every 2 hrs. No snacks before evening meal period. He thought he was dying but it worked like a charm. Some people can drink milk and it fills them up so they can wait to only eat what they like and not what they need. This Doctor was amazing.

You eat what I make or your starve. I’m not a restaurant.

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when he’s hungry he will eat. Offer him food. If he chooses not to eat that’s his choice. He’s old enough to know when he’s hungry.

My mother always catered to my younger brother…to this day he is a very picky eater! Not good

Quit cooking special for him. Cook, put on table, he eats or sits there until everyone is done. If he doesn’t eat he goes hungry. He’ll eat when he gets hungry enough. Your coddling him and he knows how to get to you. You have to stop and be strong. My boys will eat just about anything and everything…

Unless he is showing signs of malnutrition, he will survive. Can he make himself a sandwich?

Tell him you both will do a menu together and actually write one up. ask him to chose a main dish a fruit and a vegetable Have him help you cook.

Surprisingly as an only child my parents had the attitude either eat what’s served or go hungry. The. Stupid me did more the shift order cook thing with my kids. Big mistake.

Give him a mirror and tell him it is so he can watch himself starve because you are not making special meals for him.

A nine year old is not “fussy”. A nine month old is “fussy”. Your nine year old is stubborn and if you allow that to continue he will be a 18 year old “fussy”.

My kids ate what I made and had to take at least a bite of something new. I never had a problem because they knew that was it.

He’s not starving. Let him go to bed and ignore his behavior.

What is he not eating? What is he wanting to eat all the time? Missing that info

Boundaries! It’s on your terms.

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an old stand by when i was a kid( when you get hungry enough you will eat any thing ) as long as you let him he will pull this so stop

When I was growing up we ate what was on the table or we went hungry. Kids are coddled too much.

He demands it does he??? He wouldn’t be doing that for long if he were my kid.

In our house you eat what your mom made or you went hungry.

When I was a kid we ate what was put in front of us or we didnt eat until we got hungry enough, mom isnt a short order cook, the only time my mom took requests was when we were sick, your son is also old enough to makw sandwiches and use the microwave

you are the parent in charge. hold the line. he will conform eventually

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Who’s the parent ? You had better get the upper hand on this kid or you’re going to have real trouble as he grows up !!!

The " your choices are eat this or nothing" method… Is a good one to a point. If a week goes by, and he still won’t eat supper, or if you notice him losing any weight at all… or if you he has shown any other signs of autism, though…then a therapist might be in order.

Totally thought this said “fuzzy” kids. Lol!

We have a rule in my house. U eat what’s for dinner or u don’t eat at all. No we’re not making anything else. If u don’t eat it for dinner, guess what breakfast consists of…the dinner u didn’t eat…

My kids ate what was fixed or didn’t eat at all period.

In my home. There are different dietary needs that are to be met and I do make sure to make my kids what they will actually eat.

Tell him he will eat what everyone else is eating if he refuses say ok let him leave Ina couple of hours offer it again I can guarantee he will eat it if hungry

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I was going to say the exact thing. Boy does he have you figured out. He won’t starve.

If you can, let him eat what he wants - it may take a long while, but eventually he’ll add more to his diet. Ask your pediatrician for tips. Get a little air fryer and teach him how to use it or the microwave if it’s those darn chicken nuggets!

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As long as you cater to the whims he will have them. Ignore him…he will not starve to death. He needs to eat what is put before him and you control the situation.

You need to remember something very important - YOU are the boss - NOT your son. Put a plate of food in front of him, allow him to eat as much or as little as he wants, then - cover the plate and put it in the fridge. Next meal, remove the covered plate, heat the food up and place in front of him again - continue this until everything is gone…do NOT add more food to the plate. YOU need rules and he MUST obey them!

Question for all the “eat what I cook or starve” parents: Do you have the same policy for your spouse? Do you cook things your spouse doesn’t like and tell him/her that they can just suck it up?

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Say to him this is dinner,eat or go without. YOU ARE THE PARENT. WHO IS RULING WHO?

Cook for the family. If she eats great if not then she will have to wait for breakfast

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He will eat when he gets hungry so let him go wi hour when he tries to be YOUR BOSS !

If he is hungry he will eat let him go to bed if wants if he is hungry he will I promise

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The Dr always told me they will eat when they are hungry.

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Let him eat what you make or go hungry. It won’t kill him and he’ll stop
Being fussy . A couple of days is all it takes. But for goodness sake, stop catering to him. Make him eat what the family is eating or go hungry!

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He will eat when he gets hungry,

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Leave him alone. Put food on the table
And quit pandering to him. He will learn, and eat when he gets hungry

A little discipline would be great

We ate what was put in front of us or nothing

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He will eat when he is hungry.:blush:

Looks like everyone already said what I came to say lol.

Um… …who’s running this house,? Couple nights with no supper ill bet his tastes change!

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What a smart mamma you are!! Structure is important

Tell him you are cooking one meal only

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