How do you deal with your partner being so insecure?

How do you deal with your partner being so insecure? It’s to the point where I’m not allowed to have a girls night out unless he’s with, I can’t have any old male friends on social media, I’m not even “allowed” to have a drink. We’ve been together 6 months. I’ve never done anything to make him not trust me. He has trauma from a previous relationship but I just can’t handle the insecurity. I was a single mom of 2 before I met him. I was perfectly happy being single, not having anyone to tell me what I can and cannot do. Ever since I’ve been with him, it feels like my light has dimmed. I don’t take nearly as many pictures and I don’t feel like the best version of myself anymore.

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RUN. It’s not your job to make them feel secure.

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It’s only been 6 months babe get out now before it gets worse you can wait and wait for him to trust you it’s not gonna happen 🩷

What an unhealthy relationship?! It’s never gunna get better

Wow, if he’s like that after only 6 month it’s not going to get any better everything he’s done I is a control tactic and you’ve given him the power and you need to take it back before it gets worse cut him loose and go back to being happy. life is way to short.

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End this relationship! It’s unhealthy and headed for isolation. Soon, he will be all that you have and will most likely even start showing jealousy towards your children.

His insecurities are his own to manage. They’re not your responsibility.

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It sounds like controlling more than insecure. I would run. :running_woman:

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Its not worth it. Don’t stay. Insecure men never change. He will make you as insecure as him and drag you down.

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Run! I spent way too much time on a “man” like that and of course after everything i did for him, he cheated lol. Literally I cut out so many people in my life for him just so he could chat up other women on the internet while I was locked down in the house while not at work. Aaand of course while at work I had to check in with him, tell him when I was leaving so he could time me getting home. It was exhausting honestly and you don’t realize how much until your finally out of it.

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Nope. Pass trauma is no excuse to treat someone badly.

You need to break up with him and he needs to work on himself maybe after that look at getting back together after he has shown he has gone to therapy and worked on himself.

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Sorry to tell you but he is not in- secure…he is in fact in- sane and possibly dangerous, get out safely

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6 months in and this is happening girl you need to run and don’t look back.

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This happened to me and sadly the relationship did not last because of it. He was extremely controlling. I was in love with him and overlooked it all. He ended the relationship because he couldn’t take me having a male friend. Looking back that was a very toxic relationship and I am happy it is over.

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6 months? And none of this screams red flags!?! Hes already this “insecure” at the 6 month mark- nah girl that’s controlling behavior. Get out. Past trauma- more like he probably was the trauma to his past partner. If there was ever a sign to leave. This is it.

You can’t accept that and you can’t change him. Move on.
If he shows you this behavior at 6 Months, I can only imagine what the future holds.

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It’s not going to get better. You got kids to think about. I wish you the best :two_hearts:

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This is abuse. Isolation and control are just the beginning. His last relationship didn’t end in any traumatic fashion, he’s using a sob story to gain points from you. Narcissistic abuse 101.

6 months Is nothing in a relationship that should still be part of the honeymoon period where you’re getting to know each other, loving each other for who they are and just finding out who each other is (likes, dislikes, what makes them happy, sad, angry)
This is giving major red flag vibes on his side yes we’ve all been hurt, we’ve all got a past or trauma that can cause insecurities but you never ever push that onto a relationship regardless how long you’ve been together.
Run believe me your worth so much more and being as you can already feel.your light dimming and your “not allowed” to.do stuff within just 6 months think how bad it’s gonna be in a year or even 5 :thinking:
Sounds to be like he needs to grow in himself and deal with some issues before he’s able to be in a relationship with anyone.

Only together 6 months & your still with him after he has acted like that? You have kids looking up to you! Leave!

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Handle it by ending it …that is not a good way to live he needs to go to therapy in order to resolve his issues…they’re his issues not yours you don’t have to live a stressful filled life that can lead to violence

It’s only been 6 months and you know this isn’t going to change. Think also about your kids. Get out before it’s too late. I don’t understand if you see the red flags and can acknowledge how he makes you feel why do you want to stay

Run, if he’s doing that this early into yalls relationship it’s only gonna get worse…
Either tell him he’s got a choice either he trust you or he doesn’t but if he doesn’t your gone!!!

It’s called control. He’s already ruining your life. It won’t be long before he’s blaming you for everything that goes wrong with his life and abusing you emotionally and physically. Get out now.

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Girl u need to leave him NOW! Relationship are not supposed to be like this at all and it’s only been 6 months !!! It’s only going to get worse nothing will get better , please get out as fast as u can take on any loss that goes with him … prayers to you

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It’s only been 6 months let him go. Don’t put up with it. I stayed in my relationship for 15.5 years and delt with the same and even worse. I left June 2nd and have been feeling great ever since. Single mom now and can do anything I want without hesitation.

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In my opinion a partner is suppose to bring the best out in you, and that doesn’t seem to be the case….

I came here to say the same thing as most people already did. He’s a control freak. How could he be insecure of you having a drink or two… it’s all about control.

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It’s only been 6 months. Don’t repaint them, get rid of them. The tears won’t last but the damage the relationship could do if long term, will

Run. Run fast and run far.

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6months and it’s this controlling. That’s not ok. That’s a red flag. His insecurities are not your problem & he shouldn’t be projecting that onto you

If you want to try to stay, start taking back your power to make your own decisions and let him decide to stay or go.

Get rid my ex was exactly the same

This isn’t being insecure. This is a control issue. You need to RUN.

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These are Major Red Flags! You’ve only been in this Relationship for 6 Months and this Person is already trying to Control You! GET OUT! YOU’RE CHILDREN DONT DESERVE THIS :pensive: :sneezing_face: :sleepy: :broken_heart:

Get out I had a EX like this it does not get better only worse

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Red flag. I would end it. You said your light has dimmed only 6 months in… imagine a year or more from now. It’s not worth being unhappy or giving up a life you loved because of jealousy.

Tell him that he needs to go to counseling, or it time to move on.
Your happiness is important to your children.
If you aren’t happy, your children won’t be happy.
Kids learn what they live

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I would quickly be a happy single mom of 2 again.

You know exactly what to do!!

Leave! NOW! He won’t change. Just leave.

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Time to end this relationship. It’s just going to get worse

He can’t bleed on what didn’t cut him.

I’m married, so a little different situation and view - we don’t do anything without each other there is no girls/guys nights, we go out with friends - together. I don’t believe in opposite sex friends unless we both know or have met them face to face.

Dont look back with regret because you were made to serve out the sentence to someone elses crime, he is not ready to be in a relationship if he pollutes it with his fear of betrayal, tell him to process his trauma elsewhere

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End the relationship! It doesn’t get better, I dealt with this for 9 years. If he hasn’t healed from previous trauma he shouldn’t be dating anyone. You can’t fix that for him. It’s something he needs to fix. Eventually controlling relationships turn abusive. If you don’t feel like yourself, then its time to move on. You also mentioned being a single mom, your children shouldn’t witness toxic relationships because you don’t want them to mimic it when they become dating age.

It’s time to run it will only get worse

Get a new partner! That’s how you deal!!!

If this is how controlling he is 6 months into the relationship, pack your bags and leave.
His passed trauma should not change you to help him cope. He needs to work on himself before he tries any relationships. You need someone who will love you through everything you do, for being yourself

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Personally I would leave x his insecurities are not your problem and you shouldn’t be controlled like that x it will get worse and your already changing who you are x

Ohhh girl. Run. This was how my last relationship was. Started so great and then the insecurity unloaded. I mean, he also thought I and his best friend were police informants, and that they were watching him from a business across the street from his work, and drones were following us when we left the house, and that I was cheating with any guy that had a conversation with me… but that took months to truly show itself and by then I thought I could stay while he got better. It was this MAJOR insecurity thing that was unraveling his whole world. He couldn’t trust anyone and if I even went grocery shopping and didn’t tell him (we didn’t live together), I was under suspicion. He hated every girl friend I had and I felt really isolated. I ended up pouring everything in and feeling so drained while he felt like he didn’t need to change a thing. I thought if I tried harder, loved more, etc… it would be better. But you aren’t the problem. They have to heal before they get involved with someone and you should leave at a point where you still want that for them and harbor some good will. People can change and get sorted, but it’s unlikely that you’ll be the place they do so, especially once it has taken its toll on you. Don’t dim yourself for anyone! There’s someone out there who will give you a healing kind of love where you don’t have to always worry you’re making the wrong move. Wish him the best and go LIVE and be truly loved. :heart:

time to break up you need to be on your own and he needs therapy . It will become a lot worse if you stay

Sounds more like controlling, get out now!!

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I could just scroll past this, but it’s concerning you haven’t really sat him down and really heard about his past trauma… and nurture him through it. :innocent:
I understand it’s not your ‘job’ and ‘he should get help’, but really he’s your partner… your ‘job’ is to be his safety. He wants to protect you. I’d be more concerned about a man who doesn’t care you go out ‘drinking’

If you want to go out drinking, bring him along, include him, make memories with him. This builds trust. Insecurity is based from a lack of trust.
Ditch other men, you don’t need them. Do you feel comfortable with him hanging out with a woman and fighting you to keep a female friendship? It really goes both ways.

Trust needs to be built…slowly, carefully and openly.
Not all insecurity is negative.

Leave before it’s too late. You DEFINITELY do NOT want your kids thinking that’s the way you treat a woman. They are watching

This is such a sad situation to be in… he needs to get help… nothing u do will satisfy his insecurities… the more u limit ur life to accommodate his insecurities the more he will need from you… so ur not actually doing him any favours by succumbing to his every demand…

No matter what u do… he will be completely uncontrollably insecure… he needs to get some serious help asap…

I promise you this will only go one way…

where u will be totally controlled… treading on eggshell and too scared to breath in the wrong way…

it’s not healthy for him either where he is in constant fear of you betraying him in some way… the place he is at… he will never be able to trust you or get better without professional help.

It’s so very sad for both of you… when it’s this bad.

The more u give in to his demands the worse he will get…
ur enabling his behaviour … sorry

Use your voice! If he doesn’t understand & make changes he’s not the right one.

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Please get out :green_heart: you do not need to take on his crap. Your babies deserve to see you treated well.

You need to get back to your happy place , he needs to go , he’s controling

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He does it because he can. The fact that he “let’s you” is disturbing. I would do whatever I wanted but then I won’t be controlled.

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Doesn’t sound like a good fit at all. If he’s acting like that at 6months, imagine 2-3 years

Yep been in relationships like this, can’t talk to anyone can go no where unless he’s with me, blamed for things I’ve never done accused of things all the time, would play the “go back to so and so since I know you’re talking and doing things” crap when I wasn’t, but he had freedom to talk to whoever hide things go wherever while I was watched like a hawk at all times. Get out. It only gets worse.

You need to let him go so your children don’t think that that’s an okay relationship for him to be so controlling

Run girl, and run fast, no second thoughts!been here too many times :broken_heart:

Leave.
Itll never change and he will become worse!!
I stayed with someone very similar for 11yrs and I completely lost myself.

You deal with it by ending the relationship.
You deserve so much more than that.

He’s probably a narcissist. Very possessive and demanding. Will try to isolate you. Even from family. Lease as soon as possible and don’t let him convince you that it’s all you!. Run

It’s pretty simple you end the relationship that is way too controlling
A man is supposed to bring peace

It will only get worse, as much as it sucks. I would end this relationship, especially with having kids involved.

You deal with it by leaving :sparkles:

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Time to ditch him! Run fast! From an old girl who’s been there.

I was married to someone like that once. If I talked to a guy for more then ten minutes we must be fooling around and I had a female friend who was get and I must be doing something with her as well. It drove me crazy

6 months in… nope. This is only going to get worse. Toxic.

He needs to get some counseling on the previous trauma. And the counselor needs to know about his insecurities.

Leave. Yesterday. If he’s already like this after only 6 months, then it will go from bad to worse quickly.

Please leave now, get your light back. This usually gets worse. This is very controlling in a short period of time.

You need to run asap! Believe me, it will only get worse. You will end up hating your life.

Break up with him. His baggage is something he needs to handle.

Unfortunately it doesn’t get any better unless he is willing to change and most don’t see an issue with their behavior they think it’s normal and how all guys act but it isn’t

I would end the relationship. He’s just going to continue to drag you down even more.

Run now…How you can’t see the red flags screaming at you…His like this after only 6 mths…Your giving him power and control…

You need to leave. He won’t change, the control will grow and your life will become smaller.

You don’t deal with it, you leave. It’ll get worse.

Sounds like it is time to step away from the relationship. I certainly won’t marry the guy!!!

I think you answered your own question sis. You don’t need him.

he will ruin your life he already has
it will get even worse

He’s got a total control issue time to get rid of him he won’t get any better been there done that

You’re only 6m in. Get out.

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Control. Best to get out tty living seperate address but be committed it really works

You dont hes controlling you you leave stuff that

Im Just gonna say it… Get out now. He will only get worse. I’ve survived it… Please don’t think you can change him or fix him… Just leave

Leave and he needs counseling!

Run as far and as fast as you can!

He’s probably cheating. I agree with others. This is a red flag…run

Girl …………. RUN as fast as you can because the situation will get worse

He’s not insecure - He’s abusive and controlling

Toss him to the curb that ain’t the one

If I were you, I would end it. It’s only going to get worse. Way to controlling!

I think you know the answer to this. You deserve more respect than this. He wants to control you and he will continue to do what you let him do. Those feet are made for walking so start steppin.

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If you don’t feel as happy I think you have your answer

You know the answer. Leave!

That’s not insecurity that’s control. GTFO NOW!!