What does court order look like?
As a nurse I say dobt keep your kids from their parents based on their job. a. We are less likely to catch it at work bc we have protection b. Right now we need ER nurses whose mental state is intact. If you cause him emotional distress he may make a mistake and we just cant afford that. Its not just one nurse imagine if everyone in the healthcare field had their loved ones alienated from them. We would have 3 million staff not able to care for anyone.
8 Likes
Can both not wear a mask while together? Or atleast the dad. There are ways around this
Maybe you need to turn off CNN and start thinking like a human being instead of a sheepā¦ and THEN remember you arenāt the only parent and you donāt get to make all the decisions. Honestly sounds like heās better off spending more time with his dad than you anyhow.
8 Likes
So how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot and he was keeping your son from you because of you working in the hospital, would it be ok then? You do know your son can catch the virus when you simply go out to the store etcā¦ youāre being very unreasonable and if your sons dad doesnāt have a court order I think now would be a good time for him to Take you to court and get one. Iām a nurse Iāve been working since covid and Iāve never got it and neither has my kids.
3 Likes
I donāt have any advice but I was reading the comments and realize some people are heartless. This mama is just trying to protect her child from getting COVID being that he has respiratory issues and if he gets it, it very well could not end well. Sheās thinking about the health of her child not about being controlling and trying to ruin the bond between her son and his father. Even if she hasnāt been 100% shut in, she can monitor her sons mask wearing and washing of hands when he is with her.
6 Likes
Weather you have a co or not always turn it around and think about how you would feel if your ex said you couldnāt see your kid because of covid. The fact that you " decided he could not have his own child" says alot. What would you do if you were still together, this would never even be an issue. Donāt use covid as a reason to keep dad and child apart.
3 Likes
if he works in a hospital then he gets tested weekly or twice a week you should not keep him away from his dad
5 Likes
Wow. Hope he takes you to court this is absurd!
3 Likes
Please do NOT keep your son from his dad! It causes much more damage than you think. Im dealing with this right now too with my son and his dad. I am a firefighter n come in contact with many different things including covid. I have not seen my son in almost 2 months bc his dad is freaked out. This is not an acceptable reason. Your son needs to see his dad.
3 Likes
I know many Healthcare professionals and have had to deal with going into the ER and UC for myself and my kids with the possibility of us having it. From what Iāve experienced, the doctors and nurses are VERY cautious. They are fully suited up with masks, sometimes face shields too. They also have filtration systems to help purify the air. Now, idk if this is every situation but from what Iāve experienced it would be very difficult for them to contract it. Just my opinionā¦
Iām really disgusted by the amount of people who arenāt reading this properly. Her son has a respiratory problem. Covid is a respiratory virus.
Keep yourself ex away until he can be responsible. If he wants to see his son and takes his health seriously he can get a Covid test. No parties. No traveling. This isnāt a game.
7 Likes
Birthday parties and flying would rub me the wrong way. But because he works in an ER, wow. If youāre super concerned, see if your son will wear a mask around him. Double check that heās showering and changing clothes before they interact. Precautions are something you can do.
In my opinion anyone who is refusing the other parent their visitation because of a virus with a 99% survival rate is wrong. Did you keep your child away from him during the flu? There are far worse things that he could contract working in the ER. Are you a stay at home all the time and never leave the house mom? If not then you can not withhold his visitation!
2 Likes
If you two were still togetherā¦ how would you handle this er job situation? Just think about it.
5 Likes
His dad works in a hospitalā¦ He knows how bad this virus isā¦that means he knows how to be cautiousā¦ god he sees people dying on a dailyā¦ He misses his son and Iām sure his son misses him too. Let them see each other.
Do you have a court order?
1 Like
This shouldnāt be an issueā¦ the father should know better than to potentially expose his child.
The Supreme Court has ruled this is not a valid reason to keep a child from a parent (if said parent is working in health care). If you both decide itās whatās best thatās one thing but if your sons father wants to see him and you have a normal custody arrangement you could be found in contempt for not allowing the father regular visitation with the child.
2 Likes
My kids mom works in a prison and has no seen our kid and will not see our kid until sheās not exposed anymore. Our kid has asthma plus I have a 1 year old and even a cold can be bad news for both of them. Even myself because I have asthma. Our allergies are bad enough. We both agreed to this because she doesnāt want to get the kids sick. Especially since last year she fought me on it and took our kid when she had the flu and gave my whole house the flu which prevented us from spending Christmas with my mother who was. A cancer patient.
-Iām not here to debate-
Iāve been living life 100% normally.
No mask because I have asthma & toddlers (couldnāt keep up with them without ACTUALLY blacking out short of breath)
Been to casinos.
3 vacations.
Working.
Visited 5 states.
None of us have gotten sick & none of our relatives have either.
Please please do not keep your son from his dad. We kept our distance from MY 65yo dad at the beginning of this and all it caused was confusion & depression.
The reality is that Covid is everywhere, you could catch it at work, or you could catch it at the grocery store. But we shouldnāt keep ourselves from living our lives, and falling into the oppression that our leaders Are trying to cause. They are trying to separate us from each other, they are trying to get us to follow all of these new norms to get us up for something else. They are testing our willingnessā¦
The sickness itself is definitely real, the precautions themselves are definitely not.
Love yourself, and love each other. Life is too short. 
6 Likes
Yeahhhh umā¦ if heās got any sense heāll lawyer up and have you in court fighting for his visitation. You may have birthed the kid, you donāt own him. If we were talking about him being reckless in the sense of using drugs, drinking and driving, etc then you may have a leg to stand on. But you donāt have the right to withhold visitation because of his occupation during a pandemic.
3 Likes
You donāt, this covid shit is no worse than the flu
Children arnt the age group this virus is affecting. Research the number. It will help ease your mind.
As a parent I understand perfering to be safe than sorry. Even easier if its at little or no cost to you though. The fear mongering around this virus has you keeping a father (who wants to be around) from his child. THAT is the biggest problem that I see in your situation.
Side note. Flu cases in San Diego County is at 37 for this year. I wonder how the other 173,000 annual flu cases were able to stay so healthy?? Weird.
That is his Dad. You are absolutely wrong for ever having kept his child from him. He is just as much his parent as you are and he gets to make the decisions too. He works in a hospital and he feels confident his child is safe. He knows more about it than you do. Grow up!
2 Likes
My exhusband age 45 took a family vacation in July to SC and took our 13 and 15 yr old daughters with him. He did not take the virus seriously, refused to wear a mask, said awful things to the kids about the whole pandemic, for example he said they had a better chance of getting bit by a shark than getting covid, it was all political, im an adult ill do what i want etc. My kids did not want to go on the trip because my grandma had died from covid in april and we take it very serious. They come back from the trip and 3 of the 7 people that went tested positive. On the last day of his quarantine my exhusband had a pulmonary embolism due to blood clots from covid. He suffered all kinds of organ failures and cardiac arrests from that point, was in icu for 18 days before he passed away. It is very hard for us to deal with all of this and we feel that the attitudes and decisions that were made will weigh on us for the rest of our lives, on top of the tragic loss and suffering and how much they miss their dad. I ask that people really think about their attitudes and behavior surrounding the pandemic because if the adult saying and doing those things gets sick or dies, the children will NEVER forget what was said and done. In some ways i wish i would have taken him to court to try to prevent the kids from going on the trip, but now that is their last memory and photos with him.
3 Likes
I have family and friends in health care. Guess what they still hug their children. One is a P.A. in a nursing home with covid patients and she goes home everyday to her kids. Think about their mental health too. Tje person in question can shower right after coming home and put their work clothes right into the washer. Taking your kids from one parent is never mentally healthy option if the parent is a good loving parent.
you canāt fix stupid, there long term we donāt know about
Its not about the parents its about the kids that wanna see there parents
And if ur collecting child support and not letting one parent see the child thatās screwed up
People didnāt have no problems when it was just the flu which is same thing
Keeping her son away would mean cutting off all communication, thatās not the case here. Especially a child with pre existing conditions, safety of the child is more important.
1 Like
It is understandable to be scared but what if you guys still were married would you make your kids dad not come home every day. Definitely not so please let your hard-working sacrificing Frontline hero see his son. My husband is a respiratory therapist in a big hospital and every night he takes his work clothes off in the basement and showers because seeing his children makes the very difficult sad rough day worth it and it brings him Joy to get hugs from his children.
4 Likes
When you have a child together and the relationship doesnāt work out then thatās it but the child isnāt at fault and needs both parents. You donāt get to dictate the other parent or their choices with the child because itās their child as well. Youāre not going to agree with everything but at the end of the day both parents have rights to parent the way they feel is best and fathers straight up matter and should never be blocked. Thatās a huge problem in society. It seems to be acceptable to have the view that dads should take a back seat, they shouldnāt and they donāt need to. They are just as vital as a mom.
1 Like
My husband, myself, and our two children live with his parents. Both of his parents work at a nursing home that have had multiple COVID cases since the very beginning. They where the proper gear and jump straight into the shower once they get home before even coming near us or the kiddos. Knock on wood but we have all been fine. As a mother I understand where you are coming from, but as a parent I donāt think itās fair to dad. Those are his kids too.
8 Likes
I work in a hospital and probably wear personal protective equipment more that people do outside of hospital with additional protection at work. No one in my family has acquired covid from me. Iām sure he is already overly cautious. Let your sons dad be a part of his life. Honestly I would be more paranoid about friends or family you donāt know how often they are washing hands or wearing a mask
1 Like
I would first like to say, I think we can all agree you are doing what you feel is best for your son. But donāt forget the repercussions of your choices with your son and with the law. Custody and visitation is not affected by this āpandemicā.
And really, unless you are growing your own food at home, making your own soaps etc, literally doing everything at home from start to finish, you and your son are exposed as it is. Whether itās the grocery store clerk touching containers or the farmer harvesting the veggiesā¦itās been touched.
1 Like
Agreed, if he takes this to court you will lose. There has been multiple mothers and fathers even that have done the same thing. Covid is scary, and itās n out that heās not taking it seriously, because if he works in the ER he knows exactly whatās going on. Iāve recently lost family because of Covid. But thatās no reason to keep your son from his father. If he gets sick easily, remember to keep him on things like elderberry, vitamin C, and to stay healthy.
I hope his dad takes you to court. You cannot legally keep your child from their dad because of covid. My sons dad doesnāt take it as seriously as I doā¦ I still have Never entertained the idea of keeping our son from him. Dads are just as important as moms.
He has equal parental rights. And not only hurts him but hurts your son to keep him apart. You should be ashamed for doing it in the past and should definitely never do it again. If I was him Iāll take you to court for breaking the custody agreement
I am an EMT I donāt think keeping the child away from the dad because of his job is fair to the father or even the son for that matter. I still see my girls on a daily basis. If need be teach your child better about hygiene washing his hands more often and all that good stuff. Being in the medical field we take more precautions at work than people do going to the store. I honestly feel like your shaming the dad for having a job in the ER where covid happens. And personally I donāt think thatās fair. You can not use covid as an excuse. What are you going to do take him away for the next 6 to 12 months before this virus actually goes away? I get the not going to birthday parties and such but do not shame him for working as front line worker and not let him see his son. If you have a court order in place where dad has time with him you could be in some serious trouble.
I work in HR for a hospital and if he is traveling, he cannot go back to work without a negative covid testā¦ as for ābirthday partiesā do you mean someone in his family had a birthday? Because it sounds like an exaggeration of a āpartiesā
You have no legal right to keep them apartā¦ you are in contempt of court and can be arrested if he has visitation rights and/or joint custody that and you deny him of those rights
Whatās the real underlying issue is the question you must ask yourself? Thatās his father and that goes beyond controlling. My daughter has same issues her father lives in another state where cases are worse but I would never cheat her out of time spent with himā¦ driving your child by his house is complete torture for everyone. Let him spend time with his child
I personally work in a hospital and have a 4 yr old son plus my SO also has a 4 yr old son and am currently 6 months pregnant and take all thr necessary precautions at work when working with patients when coming home I shower first thing and cases have started picking up once again but we arenāt that paranoid cause I know that I take precautions at work
You are protecting your child. I would do the same thing. I have high risk family in my house and I have told people that they cant see us because they wont social distance and that. You have to speak up for your child. And just because he is the father you have to be the voice and that. If he wont take it seriously and your child is high risk then he shouldnt see him. That maybe rude or that.
If thereās a court order in place for visitation he HAS to still go to visits. My oldest sonās biological dad is the same way and goes around everyone and never wears a mask because in his mind covid isnāt real even though both his parents got it but I still have to take him to visits.
He works in a hospital/E.R. so Iām sure he gets tested on a daily basis. As long as heās negative let the boy see his father
As long as heās careful and not being sick around him there shouldnāt be an issue. I work in hospital and been in direct contact with Covid I wear all ppe all the time even with non Covid patients. I change my shoes in car and straight to the shower when home. I have 4 kids 16,4,2,6months one with asthma and whom has rsv last year which I think was actually Covid. I worry but Iām cautious but I wish someone would try keep me away from my kids. Covid will be with us like the flu he needs to be safe and maybe cut down that traveling and parties thatās a definitely no other than that let him see his son maybe a park or your home.
I only had to read the first 3 sentences to realize your issues are deeper than covid. The dad regardless of where he works is entitled to see his sons. Get over it.
My step kids have had to be quarantined a few times and my husbandās ex treats it like a vacationā¦ they can go here, they can go there, whatever is convenient ect. Im pregnant so we have said no you keep them cause of the risks. We take it more seriously and were the bad people. So I understand what you mean. You would think his dad would be more understanding especially since your son is at a higher risk. Id definitely be keeping him for his safety
I see this post and I think of what a shitty person you are . That father puts his life at risk every single day and you wonāt let him see his son for what ? A bad flu? You do know he wears masks and protective wear every day heās ar work . I highly highly doubt heās stupid enough to go to New York and come right back . 1 he wouldnāt be allowed to go back to work , 2 he wants to see his son so I also doubt he would he would wanna put his son into harms way . So many things about your story in my opinion make you a liar and going on a power trip because you are a women . Do you think you can just make any decision you want without the other side agreeing to it ? Unless the father is being abusive , a drunk or does drugs which I highly doubt heās any of those things cause he works in the hospital , give him his damn kid , you should be respecting what he does every day . So tiring seeing all these women going on fuckin power trips thinking they can control every aspect of the childās life . Can see why yāall broke up .
I understand itās scary, but I dont have a choice, I have 2 step sons who live with us but their mother insists on still seeing them as usual and they dont take any precautions. I worry about my daughter and what they bring back from their mothers. This whole thing is scary. I donāt think they should be going to their moms either but who am I?
I donāt think it should be about him working in a hospital, but about him not being careful and still attending parties, and wanting to travel.
As long as heās wearing proper gear at work, he likely wonāt get the virus at work. I take care of COVID patients at work, and am very careful and change before I go home, and shower right when I get home. I donāt distance my children from me, even when we had a huge surge of cases in my city.
No matter what, the court documents are the deciding factor. If you break that custody agreement, for ANY reason, you will get in some level of trouble for it. You can use the āIām protecting my childā line all day long. The judges do not care. They want you to come to them and let THEM make any necessary changes to the court order. No parent within the custody agreement has the right to make any changes on their own. Thats what you agreed to when a custody agreement was put into place. Right, wrong or indifferentā¦doesnāt matter one ounce in the legal system.
Maybe just speak with a lawyer if you can. Fact covid is dangerous. Fact it is contagious. Fact your son is at a higher risk. But I wouldnt want to keep your son and his dad apart but if he isnt following safety protocols thatās a risk
So you practically saying that if YOU are working in hospital instead of your husband you will be ok with not seeing your child? 
. Donāt think so. Grow up. Donāt use your child trying to hurt your ex. It will bite you back when he gets older.
1 Like
The pandemic doesnāt trump custody ordersā¦ you keeping your child away from a father who wants to be active is going to cause emotional issuesā¦ what if the tables were turned? And you were the essential worker and he kept your son from you?
My Dr was exposed before Hannaka, she stay in the basement away from her family for 14 days. I agree with you. Sorry people, as a person who has been sick over two years. Stay away, walk my dog go to the specialist thatās it
I am on your side. Just because he doesnāt think itās a big deal doesnāt mean your feelings arenāt valid. Also, itās one thing for him to have his son, but to take all those extra trips out leaves more room for exposure. There has to be some way to meet in the middle, but in order to meet in the middle you need to be able to trust him. You could start slow like no birthday parties or traveling, but go to the park and do socially distant activities. Maybe gradually go into very very small gatherings. Obviously wear a mask etc. however you guys move forward it Has to be about your ability to work together. No matter how much men love their children it is just a fact that they will never understand what itās like to be a mother. When I say that to my husband he will tell me āyou think I donāt love my kids āand I tell him that thatās not the case. Mothers just are built differently and we have that worry factor and that bond with our children that is different than anyone will ever have. ļæ¼
Mental. Thats your kids father, probably the only person you SHOULDNT be distancing from. Hes being beyond patient with you and youre taking all this madness to the extreme and youre lucky he doesnt take you to court. Dont mean to sound awful but this covid stuff is NOT that bad and for a father to have his kid taken away is just beyond crazy.
I work in a hospital with Covid patients every single night, and come home as usual. My kids are 9, 6, 5, 3, and 1. My 3 year old was born premature and has some serious respiratory issues. My husband is also a healthcare worker and he had covid in Oct. and he stayed home the entire time to recover. I think you are being selfish trying to keep the dad away because of this. Covid is going to be around for a while. I know he is already taking the precautions as he works in the environment. You do the same.
100 children and teenagers have diedā¦100 out of millions. The odds are 0.2%
With that being said if you have a problem go to court. Your child shouldnāt have to go without seeing their dad.
āHYPOTHETICALLYā if you guys were still living together, would you still not allow him to see his child ?
So Iām a front line staff member in a hospital that deals with covid daily I see my 3 year old every day Iām more protected at work then what I am when I walk into a store or get into my car
No one has the right a germ free environment (impossible to obtain) but every father and child has the right to be together. Thereās risks with every day life. With every choice! Viruses that affect the respiratory system existed before this one and others will be discovered after this one in future years. No excuse to keep a parent and child separated. Do you isolate yourself from literally every person but your child. Groceries delivered and left outside for an hour? No work outside the home, no friends, no other family? If not then cut the hypocrisy and let you child be with their dad!
Covid is not an excuse to deny access ir to refuse access any person who uses it as such wont be looked upon favorably if ever brought up in court. If dad is a nurse he is taking necessary precautions. Would be the same if a parent refuses access to their child because of covid which many are using as an excuse to drop out of childrens lives
My kids both got it I have a 1year old and a 2 year old one was a preemie and the other just got out of the hospital at the beginning of the year after being on life support for 2 months neither of my boys got super sick from covid all they got was very mild symptoms the hospital said kids have better immune systems then us and can fight it off easier
If he works at the hospital he is tested every week let him see his son wtf seriously this kid also need his father not only his mother
My cousin works at the medical facility, we meet up for family events, dinner, parks, trips and movies often. No concerns here since March.
Try to talk to him, most colleges do free rapid covid test. Ask him to take then prior to picking up your son.
no worries about your daughter Asthma when she over 25 years after automatically Asthma gone.
Ur punctuation is so bad it took me about 5 min to figure out what u were saying. Now I donāt care about ur conondrum
What country do you live in?
Not your call. He works in a hospital he knows how to stay safeā¦
Read the first comment!
You are being a horrible parent! As a person who works in the ER Iām sure he took extra precautions with himself and to keep his child from him out of pure selfishness is not for the childās health but for your own bitterness! I know numerous divorced families with medical personnel and none would be so callous to the parent that needs the companionship of his child during such stressful times!
If he is serious about seeing his child, he needs to get serious about the virus! You have every right to protect your child and he needs to be putting him first alsoā¦ He should do whatever he can to keep his safety as the #1 priority- just like you are doingā¦ Good job Mom!
The only thing i have to say is i get your concern but what if the roles were reversed, what if your ex was not allowing you to see your son ? Would you be ok with that ? Iām a nurse and mother and no one has ever had an issue with my son being in my care. There will always be a risk but if you take precautions and do your part why would you get penalized and not be in your childās life, especially not knowing how long this will last. Your ex has the same right to see his child as you do. Here in Canada lawyers actually advised to keep all custody agreements/visitation going through covid.
I work in a hospital, honestly I feel safer at work than other places. At work I wear an N95 covered by a surgical mask 12 HOURS, change into hospital provided scrubs and shower before I leave. If he is taking appropriate precautions then you should be fine.
I have never in my life given room to any talk or ideas about herbs . I see herbs as hazardous substance and so I abhor any talk about herbsā¦I am a lady who have being trying to conceive for many years. I was told by doctor that I have block fallopian tube n fibroid. Ever since then I have been taking drugs all to no avail ā¦ My story changed when a friend introduced me to dr unuayan that heals using l said he strictly believe in the use of herbs for treatment such as fibroid , PCOS, block tube ,ovarian cyst etcā¦ I asked him some question basically how he got to know about herbs ā¦ He told me his brief history how he got his knowledge of herbs from his late father and promise me that I will return thanking him ā¦I order for the herbs which he sent to me through a DHL courier company he gave me instruction on how to be taking the herbs. and today I thank God it works for me ā¦ I am a mother of a baby boy. Iām simply testifying over my breakthrough. What an how I did to conceive after years of struggling .on whatsapp+2348118752627
Way to go Skylar Yaaa
I feel a lot less bothered by him working in a hospital than him going out and disregarding regulations especially knowing he has a child with compromised immune system and is still is doing it. Speak to him honestly about his how uncomfortable his actions outside of work make you for your sonās safety. Itās his son too he should be willing to stop to try to protect his kid. As for work Iād just say keeping all his work clothes separate and showers as soon as he gets home. If heās not willing to do what he can to keep his higher risk child from catching it thatās on him. File a temporary change with the courts if heās going disregard your sons safety for fun in a pandemic.
I work in a hospital in radiology so I xray every covid patient that comes through, but yet my daughter who is high risk, is with me full time. Iām smart at work wearing a mask and washing my hands after contact with every patient like Iāve always doneā¦ No one in my household has yet to get sick. You canāt use this virus as an excuse to keep the child away.
2 Likes
You are making the right choice. I know some families who agreed when it first hit their right to visitation for safety of their kids and ifnyour child is at high risk you have that right. Now sadly if you have an actual order you cant do it. But if you dont have a visitation order youbhave that right but you better be prepared for him to take you to court