I divorced mine. Step up or step out of my way. If I’m gonna do it by myself then I’m gonna do it single.
1 Like
If you can’t talk to him about the issues your having then sit down an write him a letter about everything that’s bothering you then maybe once he knows then you can talk about it .
Good luck.
You wasted enough time, get rid of him it’s time you put yourselves a d your babies first, do it and do t look back
2 Likes
He doesn’t respect you at all, I would be leaving right about now.
2 Likes
There is this thing called communication. You need this in any marriage tell him you need help give him chores . Men just think your doing fine cause you do it all tell him….
2 Likes
Why are you doing it alone yet he’s there?? Funk that. Lose him and I promise you will feel better instantly. Your outlook on life will improve. 100%. Please trust me on this!!! I was in your shoes.
2 Likes
Just think, in a few years you’ll probably go back to work and in all your spare time you’ll run kids to all their soccer practices, do all the parent teacher conferences yourself, and keep the house, you wont have any time to resent him
Talk to him. Communication is key. If you don’t tell him how your feeling or that things need to be done then you won’t get anywhere. You can’t expect him to read your mind 
Everyone thinks leave, you can tell they’re not cut out for Communication. If you want to make it work then Talk to him, if he can’t fix the way he has been then think about separating.
4 Likes
Tell his ass to kick rocks… hell, what you gonna miss, you already doing it by yourself!
He’s nothing but a selfish burden. Get rid of him asap.
2 Likes
If you have never talked to him the problem is your fault for not communicating. Guys can’t read our minds if we don’t say “I need ______” “it hurts when _______” he will not realize he is doing wrong. Communicating is the only way you can fix things.
1 Like
Yes tell him how you feel he may think because your handling everything it’s ok. If it continues then you may want to think about other options. People keep saying leave but are you financially able to leave. Do you have family members who would help and let you stay with them. You can’t just up and leave with three kids. First step would be to get a job and start saving when your able. You say your partner so I’m assuming your not married you need to have him sign a PA if he hasn’t so you don’t get tied down trying to get child support. Are you getting support from your first kids dad. If not get that going and put it into a savings. It’s small steps you can make to grab his attention so he’ll know you ain’t bull shitting. If he wants to be with you he’ll change if not you’ll be stable enough to leave
My dear, you chose your partner. He may never change. Maybe consider marriage counseling. If it doesn’t work just divorce him and have shared custody of your two biological children.
2 Likes
He needs to man up or someone needs to leave.
No I’m my opinion. I went through the same exact thing with my past two baby’s fathers (there’s only 2) but I was basically a single mom from the beginning. There was good times but there was always hate in my heart deep down for all those things and I couldn’t get past it plus I was cheated on both times while holding down everything so I took my leave and it’s been a lot better since.
And you had another one with him 
pity for first time around…shame on u on the next…
6 Likes
All you HAVE to do is take care of those babies. Cut back on things for him. And maybe you ought to drop your expectations about Mother’s Day and just ignore Father’s Day.
4 Likes
Leave it only gets worse, you and your children deserve better
3 Likes
These people saying leave are ridiculous. You don’t break up a family so easily. Communication is key. Have you talked to him about any of these issues. Tell him it hurt you that he missed mother’s day and your birthday. Usually that’s all it takes for them to know. Sometimes they just don’t know. Also let him know you need help and that the kids need him too to bond with. Your job is 24 hours a day. His isn’t. He needs to help.
6 Likes
Leave him. That’s gonna be the only way to solve that problem
1 Like
You have a right to resent things. You need to take care of yourself and your children
1 Like
You teach people how you want to be treated. Why are you still with this guy?
5 Likes
Why are you with him? Seems like you are doing everything yourself anyway so what good is he? Tell him he needs to change or yeah leave. If you do nothing then nothing will change.
3 Likes
Tell him how you feel. He may be completely unaware of how his behavior affected you. Try to work on a solution together.
2 Likes
The thing about resentment is it just grows. Tell him what you told us. And then kick him out.
6 Likes
Its not so easy for some to just leave. Lets be honest some men are just stupid to the needs of women. They don’t want to grow up but yet don’t want to stay a boy. Communication is key but Comprehension is everything. So have a talk and be sure hes comprehending whats being said. Stop the extras you do for him because he’s expecting them and just do for your babies & yourself. A relationship will have a lot of ups, downs , gives, takes and forgiveness. Pray about it for yourself and if or when its time to leave you will know… God bless
3 Likes
Yes, only one way. Move on and find your self respect. That man treats you like shit and you are letting your children witness it.
I am in the same situation as you and I have medical issues that he down plays and says I am faking, even I have had multiple surgeries and actual diagnoses.
Probably not. Once you have that much resentment, you are better off leaving. Maybe, he will grow up after that .
2 Likes
Talk to him. Tell him what you need. Marriage counseling if he resists.
You shouldn’t have to do it alone though.
2 Likes
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you get over or move past resenting your partner? - Mamas Uncut
I think you have a right to resent him. It sounds like he sucks tbh.
He needs to step up and help more, otherwise I would leave. You’re already by your own words a single mum, leaving wouldn’t be that much of a stretch
22 Likes
Get rid! He clearly doesn’t have much respect for you. Mother’s Day is a chance to show you how much you’re appreciated so for him to not even acknowledge it says a lot! Hurts me to see so many women wasting time on men who don’t deserve their time! X
7 Likes
I would leave him he doesnt sound worth the effort or time, gain your self respect back and kick him out.
3 Likes
You can’t move forwards in a relationship without addressing the issues, and it’s the same for resentment.
If this is an ongoing issue which you have addressed continuously, and he is not making an effort to fix, then you need to ask yourself do you want to put in the energy to overcome the resentment and try to make the relationship work or has the relationship run its course.
I would google a few things about resentment and relationships. AND check out this website The Most Important Emotional Needs | Marriage Builders, Inc.
They have some great articles on relationship stuff plus the questionnaires are super helpful too. I found they helped me understand stuff better and helped me to better communicate what I was feeling. Forms and Questionnaires | Marriage Builders, Inc.
I’ve been in this place and it’s a shit place to be. I wish you and your family the best 
2 Likes
do you have a friendship with him? Do you talk to eachother or are you both just co-existing with eachother? I’d talk to him and tell him how you feel, maybe do things together as a couple again to rebuild that friendship. Sometimes we get stuck in our ways of the same old day to day life that we neglect one another and don’t spend time having fun or loosing your hair down that we begin to resent the other person.
- Talk to him tell him how you feel.
- Date nights.
- Make time for yourself, go out with friends/ family leave him to have his share of raising your kids as they are just as much his responsilbily as they are yours.
Momma just needs a break xx
1 Like
Does he work 12 hours a day to support you and his family?
Everyone is so quick to give the guy grief, but maybe he is doing all he can to keep his family going?
1 Like
There are ways to get past resentment. But honestly, this man doesn’t deserve that effort. You already feel like a single mum. Dump his ass.
4 Likes
You don’t, you leave him. It’s one thing if he made a mistake and now he’s working to better himself and your relationship, but he’s not. Leave him.
4 Likes
You can’t make someone change, they have to want to.
He won’t change unless he understands what you’re feeling.
So honestly and openly lay your issues out on the table, express exactly what you’re feeling and why.
Then give him the space to do the same, as there may be factors to his behaviour you’re not aware of.
Hopefully you can both reach a new understanding of each other’s needs and move forward in a more compassionate and accommodating way.
If nothing changes then you know he is either unwilling or unable to change and you deserve so much better than what you’re getting.
Leave if you can or start making plans to do so.
Good luck to you and your family, I wish you the best possible future. 
6 Likes
Everyone else she’s not asking if she should leave him, she’s asking how to overcome the resentment she feels in her relationship.
Everyone so quick to jump ship instead of communicating and working on a solution smh 
3 Likes
My first thought when reading this is what a selfish lazy unfeeling (nasty word here). I would have had a go at at him , maybe gave the children to him and went out for some me time .
This is the bit now where people will prob have a go at me. Could there be a reason (bar being a lazy git) why he doesn’t do anything we only have the ladies point of view.
Welcome to my world. 8 years later dumped his lazy ass.
Look on doing a freedom course. It will help you to realize
1 Like
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you get over or move past resenting your partner? - Mamas Uncut
If you don’t demand respect, you won’t get it. The only way this is going to change is if you demand better for yourself. If he doesn’t even acknowledge you on your birthday or Mother’s Day he has no respect for you. It’s really that simple.
(And if you have sons, they will learn this is how to treat women. Is that what you want for your children? Stop allowing his behavior).
135 Likes
First step, don’t have anymore kids with someone that won’t even help with the first one. Second, set your boundaries and hold to them. He can help raise them or leave.
21 Likes
Yeh… U leave.
My ex was like this never helped and even after 7 years he never changed, then I resented not only him but also myself for wasting so many years of our lives stuck in that situation.
Being a single mumma of 3 such little babies is really hard, but it’s a lot better than being an angry, depressed mumma of 3 babies AND a moody blob of a man child.
63 Likes
A talk is very much needed. I wouldn’t throw it away. If he doesn’t know how you feel or if things have never been brought to his attention or acted on, then who’s he to know you’re struggling and showing resentment. I did this and my husband was completely blindsided with me talking it out to him. Now he’s better, not 100% and yes there’s the bi-annual reminder (use to be weekly) hey, get off your butt nag. Exhaust all communication levels before walking away.
26 Likes
Even if you are a SAHM it’s not ur JOB to do all the home responsibilities. And that’s what they are… responsibilities… as well as they are HIS. I stay home with 2 kids. My husband works full time. I work just as hard as he does at work. Maybe not physically but I am busy all damn day. So when he comes home, his day doesn’t end. I’m thankful he’s hands on. The kids were crazy all day. I’m sitting watching tv, he’s cooked supper, just finished dishes and now bathing kids. Because the life we created is 100/100… when I’m drained and can’t give 100 he picks up the slack as I do for him. He has days he’s absolutely beat and I can tell and he speaks up when he’s had a physically demanding day. You have to speak up or maybe it’s time to step out.
54 Likes
3 children that young in age and that close together…. Sis, stop right there. Why are you allowing yourself to be used like this? The first didn’t change, what makes you think this one will? See the pattern for what it is and work on you being confident and independent. Work on you first, and by that I mean kick his sorry ass to the curb and find your self worth. Then, when you’re ready, find a PARTNER, not some boy looking for a live-in booty call. You deserve better.
134 Likes
Communication! Outline your expectations of what you will or will not tolerate, be clear and concise, set your boundaries… use “I” statements when addressing this situation. “I feel this, when this happens…”. Allow for his input as long as he is being respectful. Role model what/how you want the conversation to go. Be prepared for little to no change plan your plan of action.
22 Likes
If you are doing everything by yourself you might as well BE by yourself. There is help for single working moms within a certain income. He sounds worthless except for making babies and sleeping.
15 Likes
If he can change and do better… but if he’s still the same you need to go because you’re torturing yourself hun
22 Likes
You shouldn’t have to get passed it. You have every right in the world to feel upset. I would tell him how you feel, give him a small window to make an effort and if effort isn’t made, byeeee
6 Likes
Girl, leave. He doesn’t appreciate you or what you do. Take his ass to court and get child support and raise those babies on your own
7 Likes
Start with some birth control then when you realize that you deserve respect start by moving on if you do not get any respect which includes help with his kids. Good luck. I mean no disrespect to you. We have to realize we deserve respect before we can expect to get any respect.
1 Like
It sounds like you jumped right into having kids with someone. It sounds like you’re overwhelmed being a stay at home mom of 3 toddlers. I’d find a part time job for the hours he isn’t working so he can see what it’s like being home alone with 3 toddlers. I have a 4, 2, 1 yr old with my husband and a 10 yr old from a different person she was 14 months when I met my husband. About a year ago I started doing the stay at home thing. I’m not a fan. I’m looking for a 1st shift job now so I can go back to work. We did it during covid but ya I don’t like it.
4 Likes
I was in the same boat. I told him if i was going to live like a single mom id rather be a single mom. And i stuck to it. The day before we were supposed to elope i broke it off and have no regrets. He has many regrets but i will never waste my time again on someone who is not willing to go 50/50
5 Likes
I’d be leaving to be honest.
33 Likes
Absolutely not. Leave him you deserve so much better. He doesn’t respect you at all and to not celebrate Mother’s Day for you is vile! You can do this alone as you practically are already and you’ll be happier. Sending you so much love sweety. You’ve got this x
4 Likes
Run. I was with one for 4 years after being together when we were younger. He had 3 girls who resented me because I had to be the disciplinarian. Never once bought me a present or remembered my birthday and his phone and friend was more important than me and his family. Then after 2 years together I miraculously got pregnant when they said I could never have kids. He left me alone 80% of the pregnancy to go fishing with his friend I was terrified and he didn’t care. After he was born I was the only one who got up with him and fighting my bipolar meds yet he never once offered. I should have seen the signs but I’ve loved him since I was 18. Now that I left. I’ve never been happier
4 Likes
Honestly no you don’t get past those resentments because they are based on your partner treating you like sh*t. From personal experience: it doesn’t get better. The only thing you can do to feel better is to leave him because at this point he’s extra baggage in the home and not a partner.
2 Likes
1st off, not to sound harsh, but seeing as you have 2 kids with him already and have a young 3 yo from a previous, seems you probably jumped into things way too fast! You probably should have gotten to know him better before you started having kids with him, and seeing as he is like this with both, you knew this and still had more children with him, so odds are, he is not going to change, so you have 2 choices, kick him to the curb and raise your babies alone since you are anyhow and wouldn’t have to deal with his shit, or just keep ignoring it and having babies with someone who clearly is not interested in having babies with you… sure hope for your kids sakes you choose the 1st option…
47 Likes
I had a very similar experience. I ended up leaving when my son was 3 months old. I was exhausted from doing everything by myself and I knew it wasn’t going to change. I was a single mom in a relationship. I had a lot of resentment for how he made my pregnancy, labour and first few months of being a new mom miserable. They don’t change. My son is now two and his dad still doesn’t treat him as a priority.
20 Likes
RUN!!! I’m amazed at how many women say “My partner”. No boo after reading that bullshit, you’ve got 150lb-210lb anchor around your neck and you’re drowning. If you resent him now for basically raising the kids on your own, it’s not going to change in the next 18yrs. Find a man who really IS your partner.
9 Likes
If he’s not helping out, with 3 kids especially, I’d be having a serious talk with him if not leaving.
25 Likes
First, much respect for trying to make it work. Second, I strongly encourage you to get counseling, even if you have to do it alone. Find the right counselor for you; there must be trust and a connection. Third, I will share with you a personal experience. Eight years in, my relationship was in the direst of straits. I am a born again Jesus follower. One night, after praying and crying on my knees for hours, I clearly heard God say in my heart, “Things will never be right between you and [name omitted] until things are right between you and Me and between [name omitted] and Me.” I shifted my top priority back to where it should have always been: my relationship with God. I spent more time and heart focused on Him and walking with Him. I prayed for [name omitted’s] relationship with Him. I put my human relationship on the altar, in God’s hands, while remaining a loving and committed partner. It changed my life for the better. #noregrets
6 Likes
That’s how my ex-husband was and I am so glad I’m getting a divorce. You deserve to be treated like a queen and if he can’t do that for you then you need to leave. I was in the same situation where I was basically raising my child as a single mom anyways so it wasn’t that much of a change for me but I would definitely suggest sitting down and talking to him before just shooting for a divorce
2 Likes
Only way to let go of the resentment and anger is to forgive even tho he doesn’t see what he’s doing or he doesn’t even apologize. Second, u can leave that big kid and focus on ur lil ones. Either way it’s an uphill battle but def do able
13 Likes
Why would you stay with someone who slept through you having his kids? Why did you have more. Huge red signs flashing
11 Likes
You never really do. Currently going thru this. He asked me to work things out but at this point is 2 much
8 Likes
Um no hate since you asked, but If you have a 3yr old from a previous marriage and a 1 yr and now nb sounds to me like you moved on to fast
Most guys have to process everything and if he wasn’t giving time to process it then that is why, just seems you have a lot going on
Again no hate you asked for advice …
6 Likes
Men only do what you allow them to do… Ive learned this first hand… I stopped letting my man walk on me put my foot down n my relationship changed 360° practically overnight… Good luck hun…
7 Likes
What advice would you give your daughter if this were happening to her, mama? We have to lead by example. You deserve better.
6 Likes
So if you already do everything like a single mother, what do you need HIM for? He’s just another heavy package, he’s supposed to be a support for you, which he is not, it always amazes me how much crap women take from men just to not be alone
6 Likes
I’m assuming you’ve already told him multiple times how you feel and it gets swept under the rug everytime. I’m sorry to tell you nothing will change until you leave.
13 Likes
RUN, he’s SORRY & NO MAN should ever treat his significant other that way !! A relationship should be 50/50 ESPECIALLY with kids
4 Likes
I am leaving a relationship just like that. I have so much resentment towards him it is unreal. Everything he does or says makes me feel some type of way and he doesn’t understand why I am like this
2 Likes
Start with giving him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps he comes from a home where his actions are normal, affection was not given freely and easily if at all. If you already have, communicate your needs, hes not a mind reader and quite honestly most guys have to be told, they just dont automatically know. If all that fails, celebrate yourself sister, you’re doing an amazing job with or with out him
1 Like
You don’t. If the behaviour isnt recognized, acknowledged & changed. You’re resentment will only grow stronger.
4 Likes
Sounds a lot like my marriage. I have a good husband. He still cuts the grass and works on stuff outside, but I do everything inside the house and take care of 3 kids. And we both work 40 hours a week. But he expects me to do all the house work. Following this post. I’m sorry your going through it.
3 Likes
Girl you need to leave him if you are that angry with him and he is not going to change who he is and how he is been there move on so you can be happy
2 Likes
Resenting him only hurts you. It literally does nothing to him so have peace with whatever hurt for yourself and your health. You cannot control how others treat you, you can only control what you accept. If you don’t leave then you are accepting his treatment and mindset of you especially since he’s shown it’s a pattern and patterns like that rarely change. Good luck momma
if you feel alone and are doing everything on your own, then love you are especially alone . Move on and let the stress of that resentment and weight of a unsupportive spouse go , you’ll be happier…good luck momma
1 Like
whatever you do the children’s health and safety come first.if that’s working it out with your partner or moving on their needs come first.good luck.
1 Like
Yea, quit putting so much emphasis on inconsequential things like Mother’s Day and your birthday. The true test should be if he helps you with the kids (ALL OF THEM), the chores and lets you have some “me time”. After a while the birthdays aren’t as important as the just point out that you’re one year closer to dying (my sister’s words when I told her it was my hubby’s birthday).
He’s not respecting or taking care of your needs babe you deserve better
1 Like
I have seen multiple comments along the lines of…
“Do you want your kids to grow up and think it’s normal behavior?”
“He isn’t a good role model for your kids.”
Not trying to defend the behavior at all, but I am thinking of all perspectives. What if he was that little boy who was raised around a father who didn’t display a nurturing or sensitive side so subconsciously he is doing the same? Just a thought. Relationships take work. To the original poster, if you haven’t already…try and take the time to understand why he hasn’t celebrated your birthday or mother’s day. I would find it more concerning and frustrating if he DID celebrate those things at first and then stopped. Based on the ages of your children, I’m assuming he’s never celebrated your birthday or mother’s day. Maybe it’s all new to him, and he is oblivious to how it makes you feel? Maybe his relationship with his own mother was toxic and, he has some unresolved feelings surrounding mother’s day? I wish you both the best and hope everything works out for the both of you.
3 Likes
I’m not sure it’s you who needs to change by getting over your resentment. A serious sit down chat is needed and likely marriage counseling. Hoping it gets better for you so you’re not faced with either remaining unhappy or leaving! He’s gotta step up.
1 Like
I’m in exactly the same boat I split with him last week and found out he was out with his ex from yrs ago not 24 hrs later now hes back pleading he did nothing wrong . I love him and want to believe him but my kids come 1st and I cannot have a part time dad in there lives by part time I mean he gets up when he pleases he does as he pleases and blames me for not doing a good enough job of keeping the house as it should when I have a 1 and a 2 yr old to look after xx
Everyone can tell you stories and experiences but the fact you’re already resentful mean you need to speak to your partner and work it out. Tell him what you need, his response will tell you all you need to hear. Good luck!!
In my experience if you already resent him, ur feelings aren’t goin to change. They are only goin to get worse. I was married to one of these. Plus he was very abusive. I finally got to a place where I had a chance to get out & I ran…… if ur doin everything & he’s not helping, you don’t need him anyway. He’s just adding to the stress!
You will not & can not move past it, while continuing to live it.
You can not heal in the same “place” that broke you…& “place” can be, but doesn’t necessarily refer to, a physical place.
“Place” can be a state of mind, a toxic environment/relationship/person.
That’s not resentment. That’s feeling alone. This never changed in my experience and I left. Honestly it was easier being a single mum without him in the house. One less person to take care of. Now my boys have a stepfather and I have a partner. We take care of each other and our boys. Best decision I made was leave.
…do you really WANT to get passed resenting him for this stuff? Like…thats quite the list of shit to take from a partner…or well in this case “lack thereof partner”
I guess I wouldn’t be ok with this stuff ever.
1 Like
Everyone needs to understand it’s just not that easy to leave. I have a 31 yo man child and two boys under 6 with him. I take care of everything. Literally EVERYTHING. We only celebrate the kids bdays, no Mother’s Day, anniversaries nothing. It’s not important to him. BUT……it.is.not.that.easy.to.leave.
Yes the way to get over it is leave him I’m sorry to say that but if you’re already feeling alone there’s nothing worse than being with somebody and feeling alone then being by yourself and feeling alone… my ex-husband and I have a 18 year old and a 17 year old they are 16 months apart and he barely did crap helping raise them the day I left him was probably the happiest day of my life I now have a three-year-old and even when things aren’t perfect between me and his father I’m still happy in the choice I made with having a child with him because he is an amazing father to our son if he’s not there to help out with his kids and that says a lot about him and as hard as it may be to accept and is hard as it may be to do you may need to rethink your situation
Why do you tolerate it? Communicate your concerns, if the behavior doesn’t change, it won’t, so in that event, you should leave and find someone who’ll truly help and appreciate you.
Just talk to him, set aside a chore list and ask him to do half the list every week. Sometimes it’s be laziness, but most of the time they don’t really know because they weren’t taught. I married a military man, so Ive never had to deal with this specifically, but I have dealt with things emotionally. I have just learned I have to tell him how it makes feel and what I expect from him.
Uh, yeah- get a new partner! Bc the one you have isn’t a real one. You’re already doing it by yourself and it doesn’t seem like you hold him to a standard at all - thats on you boo! Be mad at yourself enough to reflex on some personal growth that is desperately needed before you move on with another partner…so the next time you can choose wisely!
1 Like