First let me tell you happy birthday and mother’s day!! I bet you’re doing amazing. Maybe try telling him how you feel. I hope everything works out. 
If your getting more pain then pleasure… Time to go. Youll be much better off.
If you hold a grudge or resent that is on you.
1 Like
Leave. Now. He does not care. You are only a convenience. Sex, cook, maid and so on.
2 Likes
What does the husband do? Maybe he works all hours of the day to support his family?
If you have talked to him about it all and still he doesn’t do anything say Bye Bye an pack up and leave his LAZY ass
1 Like
Until he changes you won’t get over that resentment, it’s just going to keep building and you will eventually feel defeated:(
Why are you still with him ?
When u are done wAsting your energy on it move on live your life your way
Why would you want to get past the resentment? He’s dead weight, cut him loose and find the person that adores, celebrates, and most importantly, respects you.
2 Likes
Get rid of him. He sounds like a useless waste of stress
I think it’s time to find a new man
Leave him, he isn’t treating you like the queen you are.
1 Like
Stop having babies by this fool.Get child support for your kids and LEAVE.
4 Likes
Yeah. Kick that cur dog to the curb and throw yourself a big party! If I’m gonna do it alone-- I’d rather BE alone!
1 Like
Maybe a divorce. You’re living single anyway.
Sounds like a typical man 
Appears you have every right to resent him. The only thing you should be thinking about is how to move on!!! Why would you even want to be with someone like this ??? If you are doing it all on your own now then kick his ass to the curb.
1 Like
Leave him. If he has zero to offer and doesn’t care about you or the kids, there’s no reason to stay
Who told you to pop out kods so close together with a guy who can’t be bothered to help raise them or even get you so much as a birthday gift? Did you think the second baby would change him into an actual dad? And how did you have a 3 yr old from a previous marriage and a 1 yr old and newborn by this guy? Slow down lady you don’t have to have a baby with every guy you get involved with…please get on birth control
5 Likes
I’d just leave. No point of being a single parent when you’re married so just drop the man child
He obviously doesn’t care, if you can get out of this relationship you absolutely should!! Just remember that you are teaching your children that it is ok to have an absent husband or a thoughtless daddy. We are our children’s example.
You resent him but it seems to be that he told you who he was the first time and you didn’t listen to that and had another child. Not to be offensive or rude but its not like you didn’t know what you were getting at least the second time around. You should have left him long ago if this isn’t the kind of relationship you want. He isn’t going to be the man you want him to be, ever. If he wanted to do that he would have by now.
1 Like
No. If you feel single, then be single. Guys who wont work to be your partner are toxic… you wouldn’t keep drinking poison, why would you keep this guy around?
Why would you want to ?
Ditch that scrub and choose better penises.
Leave him he’s just like another kid for you to take care off
you have my permission, do it now, LEAVE
Talk about these things…if he responds well, shitty, I’d dump him.
Run as fast and as far as possible.
We deserve what we tolerate…
Get rid of him he sounds like a prick
1 Like
He doesn’t appreciate you.
Kick his lazy ass goodbye 
U might as well still be in stupid relationship
The only way you can ‘get past’ resentment is to split up, and co-parent. He isn’t healthy for you or helping/supporting you in any way he’s just adding more stress to your life. Get him gone otherwise you will continue to go downhill.
The only way you can ‘get past’ this resentment is to split up, and co-parent. He isn’t healthy for you or helping/supporting you in any way he’s just adding more stress to your life. Get him gone otherwise you will continue to go downhill.
If what you said is up and up then leave his sorry ass
I got past mine with a divorce. Some people shouldn’t get married in the first place.
7 Likes
My ex slept most of the day on both my birthday and mother’s day last year. He also refused to participate in my son’s birthday party as well as refused to come out of our bedroom long enough to sing happy birthday to him. Keep in mind, both of our families were at our house and he was an ass in front of both sides. Leaving him was the most freeing thing I’ve ever done and I am so much happier now. My current SO makes it a point to make me feel loved and appreciated every day, but even more so on holidays. If you have discussed your feelings with him and he still isn’t willing to change, leave him. There are better men out there for you. Everyone deserves to feel loved.
Time for you to put alot of gone between you and this loser. I am a man who has 3 boys and i changed shit full of diapers…no pun intended i fed bottles baby food…potty trained you name it. And as for blowing off your birthday!!! Send him packing because your doing everything anyway…he is just taking up space in your life…lots of fish in the sea
Mine does,it won’t change so do what u must for u and the kids
TAAAALK. WITH YOUR MOUTH WORDS.!! Communication is #1 in a healthy relationship! Weather you want to hear it or not. You can’t change/fix what you don’t acknowledge. BOTH of you will highly benefit! I hope you guys can work it out and come closer together!! Cheers!
3 Likes
Kick his ass to the curb mama. BY allowing him to stay you’re allowing this to go on. And your kids will see and believe this is how it’s suppose 5o be and the circle will continue. Get out of that toxicity.
Definitely Talk to him and explain your point of view and how u feel in this relationship. Tell him what’s expected from him and what you need from him. Don’t settle for someone who isn’t willing to make u feel loved and appreciated. If he isn’t willing to step up and do what he naturally should, then you’re already doing it on your own now so I’d say leave. If he steps up, then Awesome!
1 Like
I would definitely talk to him. He needs to know how you feel. You should be celebrated for all you’re doing. And if after you talk to him and he don’t change maybe you need to move on because you deserve better.
Go to counseling and get him to man up or get a divorce. You don’t need a man if you do it all alone anyway. What does he add to make things better?
1 Like
you are a single mom, Talk to him , go to counseling & please get on some sort of birth control
2 Likes
Get rid of the resentment? Get rid of the man. That’s what I did and he came back a changed person.
2 Likes
Not unless he pulls his finger out his arse and by the sounds of it he won’t.
When someone acts like they don’t care about you, believe them. Im sorry.
1 Like
Sounds like you should just leave him.
You shouldn’t have to get passed the resentment!
He should be doing just as much work as you are. He should be celebrating your birthday and mother’s day
This guy dosen’t deserve you!
I’ve been where you are! For 10 years.
Now that I’m happily married I so wish I would have left sooner, I feel like I waisted 10 years of my life on a sack of shit!
You have to try to talk to him about this. He has to make an effort to try to rectify what’s been happening to lead you to feeling this way. Coming from someone who went through this exact thing, unless he can acknowledge and try to make an effort to change his ways as a father and spouse your resentment will only grow and your relationship will suffer.
1 Like
Communicate with him. Love is always about clear and open communication.
1 Like
why did you ever hook up in the first place?
I don’t think you need to get past resentment but getting past this relationship maybe third relationship is a charm🤷🏻♀️ but give yourself time to heal and learn to love yourself! Break it off with him if he can’t help around with the kids and celebrate you on Mother’s Day and your birthday that is sad for him! You’re worth it girl !!!
Been there and done that for 9 years. You never really get over the resentment. You’ll simply start telling your self it’s normal cuz your used to it until you’ve finally grew enough back bone to leave. I hope you don’t wait that long , he’ll never change nor get better and you’ll only hurt your self and the Kids . I stayed to long and only hurt my self . He’s not committed as you are And most likely only using you
1 Like
Why have a second baby with him when he clearly isn’t helping you to raise the first?
If it all possible start making plans to leave him. It sounds like he’s unsupportive of the responsibility of parenthood and obviously doesn’t care of the stress it puts on you… And seems that he’s just taking up space abd that you’re already pretty much a single mother. I’d let him go
I would never say leave that is your decision. Make sure you communicate how important this is to you and how you feel. What I will suggest is making plans that dint include him. Celebrate yourself with your children. If you want to do things outside of the children, make sure he knows that he is in charge of the babies at the time of your celebration. You deserve to be celebrated & supported. Make sure you do it if no one else does.
This man does not sound like he actually loves you. If he did this would be a non-issue. You will never stop resenting him if he never actually sees you. The fact he does not celebrate you at all is a huge red flag. You should never be alone in everything in the house but if you have let it go this long it is very hard to undo. Why are you staying? Financially it makes sense? No one else will want you? It really does sound like you have settled for less than you deserve. Everyone deserves to be seen and to feel cherished. Sounds like a pipe dream but if you don’t settle it is possible. Men like this get away with it because women don’t get that they are the prize. We don’t need men to complete ourselves and are perfectly capable alone. Change your mindset! Find your power! Tell him to start helping and if he refuses then you can either settle for his behaviour or ask him to go. You deserve a partner not a man-child!
Yes! Evaluate the situatuion will you feel this way in 5 years. Kids will grow up you will make it and he will be a good man someday. Grow together if you can, life is hard to do alone with 4 kids. talk to him make him your partner and do it until it works.
I went through a similar situation with my sons father and I had just been building up more resentments on top of that because of other things he did as well but I eventually couldn’t put up with him not trying to change or give me basic respect or loyalty and ended things. Things have honestly been tough and I’m still working through things still but at the same time I’m more at ease and at peace with him away. I’m not telling you to leave your partner but just try to talk and communicate with them how they’ve been making you feel and tell them how you’d appreciate it if they helped you out more with the kids and things around the house. It’s not supposed to only be on you 
your a strong mama
Yes leave!! You are already doing it alone hes just holding you back from your full potential of being happy and being treated like the wonderful mama you are!
So he doesn’t treat you well and you keep giving him kids he doesn’t take care of? You do realize YOU chose that father for your kids right?
Id personally tell him he doesn’t love or care about me that im so done and tell him tou deserve so much better and to hit the road
Give others the energy you get and record all conversations because I promise you when you do this he will lose his shit and you will need to have all this to say this is how you treat me , yes I did this to mine and I will say this it worked no I’m not perfect but the recordings allowed both of us to be held accountable and our marriage is so so much better and we now communicate a-lot better and yes we still record all our arguing to this day (7 yrs ) we all have emotions and we all have baggage from our past so we still learn everyday about each other I’m praying for you
The way to get past is letting him go. You already doing it all by yourself, no need to have unnecessary dead weight holding you down.
Been there done that, twice unfortunately
Been separated from the 1st for 5 years and the other 3 years glutton for punishment obviously lol
Left them
Stopped worrying about men and finally met the perfect one… they do exist!
Get rid. It’s the worst feeling in the world feeling alone and like a single parent when you aren’t! It feels much better just doing it alone x
You won’t get over the resentment unless he changes! Speak to him, give him a chance to change and if he doesn’t then kick his ass out because you deserve better!
Leave him…sounds like there are tons of good reasons. You’re already a single mom. I did the same thing for way too long. I wasted so many years.
Why are you focusing on fixing your very validated feelings of resentment towards him??
Instead you should be focusing on communicating your feelings to him…
It’s not on and it’s not bloody good enough. Either he steps up or steps out.
Been in this situation myself.
You don’t move past that kind of resentment, you leave the situation.
You talk to them about it, and if they don’t have compassion or care enough for your feelings that they make the necessary changes, or you leave.
You need to make some drastic changes very quickly. I hurt for you and wish it were different but it’s not, so I would say to accept it and start building a future for yourself.
Do not make any life changing decisions while depressed or overwhelmed. Talk to your GYN about post party’s depression or anxiety.
How many children do you need to raise alone before you feel good about yourself and leave?
I went thru that for 30 years. It won’t change as long as you allow it to happen. 
Why do you need him?
I’m literally in your EXACT same position right now!! I hate it and I’m beginning to truly hate him.
i have the same life. i cant say it will get better, with him at least.
start with counseling.
Read John Gottman’s What Makes Love Last.
Nope. You are doing everything yourself anyway, get rid of the whole man.
1 Like
Sounds like finding a replacement would help.
I seen a lot of comments about giving him a chance or benefit of the doubt but NO. People know exactly what they’re doing. THEY KNOW. You allowing it to continue will only allow yourself to continue being hurt in the process.
No, not really because he’s gonna keep doing the things you resent, your love language isn’t being answered, it’ll just be a loop of resentment that your children will eventually pick up on.
Doesn’t sound like you’ve known him long. Uve a 3 year old from a previous partner and now 2 with him? I know people have different lifestyles but damn. And he already isn’t respecting u. Which u accept because ur still with him. Dont allow anyone to disrespect u and they won’t 
harsh reality but sounds like you barely know eachother, just popping out kids together.
How do I post not showing my name
Throw the whole man away
I do not know the dynamics of your relationship, but I have been married for 25 years and we have been together for 27 years. Communication is key. Tell him how you feel, do not hold back either. Let him know all of it!!! Then he can and you need to have a discussion about what it is you expect from each other. My husband and I have been through it all. We have weathered cheating, and raising children and even burying a child. Communication,…so VERY important!!! Good luck to you both!!! Talk, talk to him about it!!!
Talk to him, not the internet…
I don’t think there is moving on from resentment here. Clearly you are unhappy, and if you say you feel like a single mother, you have definetly hit the point where you should move on. Being in a relationship but feeling alone is one of the absolute worst feelings ever, and when that point is hit, it is extremely hard to get out of that mindset.
You could try conversating and expressing how you feel. Depending on how he reacts, and your feelings towards his reaction, you should be able to tell if it’s worth moving on or not. I have been in this situation, and leaving made life 100 times better, and inadvertently helped my relationship with my kid. I realized a lot of the overwhelmed feelings toward my kid, were directly correlated with my anger towards my ex. I hope you can figure out what to do next. My inbox is open if you need to vent.
5 Likes
I was in the same boat. The kids and I moved out and I tell you what the only difference was that I didn’t have a man baby to look after. Everything was actually alot easier in so many ways and I felt free. If there is no difference between staying or leaving it’s better to leave. Best decision I made my kids are so much more happier too
8 Likes
Move on . If he isn’t financially supportive or helping you raise your children what exactly
Do you need him for if your doing it all alone anyway ? I think you already answered your question what you need to do . It’s only going to get worse if he feels he doesn’t have to contribute. It’s very unfortunate have him stay home one night and you have a girls night for yourself if she’s not for it give him a lifetime of MENs nights alone !
Dump him, no more resentment🤷🏻♀️ find a man who values you.
I have 6 kids currently. (3) biological. My husband works 6am to 9/10p depending where they have him. It’s also 6 days a week. He’s a contractor. I complain most days because I’m overwhelmed and none of my kids have been in school for 18 months. We spend no time together alone. I do everything everyday even the outside work! It gets tiring and I do more then I probably should for him. But we’ve made it 12 years. We made it through the military days, the no jobs, the living with parents. Etc. communication will be your best friend. My husband is quiet and laid back, but I express my self and sometimes I have to lose my shit, but come Sunday, he’s spending time with the kids while I play catch up. It’s not a break but not having to deal with all the kids it makes it easier getting it done. While everyone is saying leave, I say try to talk it out and express yourself. It can be fixed if you both want it. I walked away once for 3 months and realized I wasn’t perfect either and I had to understand where he was coming from too. I celebrate his birthday and buy his holidays, but it’s not returned. idk if it’s me or not but It doesn’t bother me now that I’m 28 years old. If I want something I have the luxury of getting it because he works so hard.