This book jokingly addresses some issues you might be having such as unequal division of household labor, including statistics so you don’t feel alone. Most important would be communicating with your partner
Me and my husband been together five years he has never celebrated Mother’s Day or my birthday even though I manage to throw a cookout or party for all 3 of his kids all three of my kids and for him and holidays I resent him so much the sad thing is I know it’s never going to change that’s just him he’s selfish and number one not me or he kids and until I’m ready to walk away this is it it won’t get better most men by now r set in their ways sad but true go find u someone ur not stuck with someone who loves u and adores u cuz I promise u god doesn’t want u to o be miserable 
good luck 
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Well, you keep having babies with him… I mean, you didn’t just discover he is a piece of 
. So, have 3 more babies. That will make him change! 
I’m sorry, I have zero sympathy for you. The fact that you keep procreating with him is all your fault. You are extremely selfish and need to focus on your kids until they’re 18. Then, you think of yourself and date.
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I don’t think you need to get past resentment, I think your husband needs to fucking give a shit! And appreciate everything you’re fucking doing. To ignore Mother’s Day and your birthday is an absolute kick in the guts. It’s really really sad that he would do that to his wife the mother of his kids, what a dick!
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Sweetie, it sounds like he has checked out of the marriage. As long as he is still acting this way, you won’t be able to get past resenting him. I strongly suggest some marital counseling if you believe in that.
If you feel alone in everything you may as well be alone. I been there done that but I survived idk how I did it but god always made a way now my kids are 23,20 and 19 and I just closed on my new home and am just 40. I started off years ago as a waitress and worked my way up to the regional executive with no college stated as a temp and got hired on I been there 12 years my kids are with me but have been able to save thousands living with me i stopped the cycle of throwing your kids out after 18 because most aren’t ready! I will pay my home off as fast as I can you can do more just love yourself
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For those of you suggesting she have a talk with him or that she needs to communicate her feelings: do you honestly believe she hasn’t done that a million times already? Men like this will NEVER change! She might as well do it alone because because she’s doing it alone already, she’ll just have one less child to deal with. I have an amazing partner now, but I spent 12 years with a man just like OP’s.
Sounds like the relationship is over or he’s not interested anymore. I’d stop most what you do and see if he reacts. He maybe going thru the motions while planning an escape.
I dunno if there is girl it sounds like we are dating the same person I’m past the point of tryn to fix it bout would love to not hate him so much if you find the answer please let me kno
If you already have to act like a single mother you might as well be one…that’s what my mom told me
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Communication. Tell him how you’re feeling. Give him a change to explain himself and hopefully change. If he doesn’t change after you voice your concerns than he isn’t going to, dear. Not making a decision is a decision.
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He’s a looser throw him out and find someone who adores you and wouldn’t treat you that way!
Well in my opinion, how are you supposed to get over something that is still happening.
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The problem with relationships these days is nobody wants to stick around and put in the work like people used to. Instead at the first negative thing they run instead of communicating with their partner. If he isn’t abusive which your not saying he is your saying he needs to help you and he needs to know that those days are important to you. Communicate with him. I won’t ever tell someone to leave a non abusive situation when things could possibly be okay. Do this picture yourself growing old. Do you see him? Do you get excited thinking about being together forever like that?
It is not just how guys are, like these comments say. It’s carelessness and selfishness. Some of these men still see it as the woman do everything. Talk to him, if your not happy leave
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Throw him out. He has no respect for you.
Leave. If you spoke to him about it, then the only way is to leave. I’m a 22 yr old single mom of 4 yr old twins and 15 month old w/ no help, similar situation and managed to move.
If you keep allowing it, he will keep doing it because he sees nothing wrong with it and his behavior hasn’t been pointed out. If you don’t wanna leave and try to save this, tell him straight up that he doesn’t respect nor appreciate you enough and if he doesn’t step his game up, you’re leaving. You need to mean it! Meaning start looking for apartments for you and the kids and establishing child support and possible custody arrangements. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Stand your ground.
Yes, by moving on with your life. Verbalize your feelings and if he doesn’t make any changes it’s best to part ways before you give him more of your life.
Your resentment is justified and if he isn’t willing to step up, then I’d move along.
You don’t receive any respect, but you keep having babies… makes no sense.
Well “partner”. He’s isn’t committed to the relationship so he’s not going to be committed to anything that comes from it.
You’re asking the wrong question boo!!!
Why are you not wanting to configure how the fuck to leave this asshole?
Ask yourself, if you did the exact same things, would he be with you… The answer is probably not. DUMP HIM.
Leave his ass. He ain’t got no respect for you.
Tell him you’re already a single mother so you might as well make it official. Get rid of the dead weight 
I’m sorry!! momma" but you need to leave that ( sob) why do you even still have him there? you don’t deserve that…pack his stuff n tell him it’s over
Yuns need to have sex - willingly and passionately…like how did you two make a baby -get dirty!!
Yeah stop having babies with him n kick him out or leave…maybe it’ll wake him the heck up
Sounds like my ex. It took me 27 years but I finally left his sorry ass
The way to get past it is to communicate that you need more from him.
It won’t get any better. A selfish narcissistic asshole will not change without Jesus.
Leave. You’re already doing it by yourself.
Leave him, you’ll be happier.
Your basically a single mother
Cut him loose! He sounds like an in-house deadbeat.
Yes. Get rid of him.
Yup - There is a way. Leave him.
Dump his ass. I told my ex husband if I’m going to do it alone, I’m doing it ALL alone. I don’t have time or energy to drag you along. Put up or shut up.
I am in a similar situation or rather have been for 11 years. I have spoken to my so about it. He doesn’t see it as a big deal… So I make sure that my son and I are happy. I have a fantastic best friend who is there for me. I don’t let his stupid ass get to me anymore. Don’t torture your self over it. You need to talk to him to find out where his head is. I told mine if he doesn’t get his out of his ass he will find himself in an empty house with no food, phone, electric… Car insurance… basically every thing. My son is old enough for me to explain to him that the behavior that he is seeing is never acceptable with a SO… And I expect him to behave better when he gets older. He sees the way his father acts and has started to point out his asshole moves. Trust me. Either talk to him or start your plan to go on your own.
A stake thru the heart or a silver bullet?
Reevaluate and conversate.
Why are you keep having babies by this leech? Cause ain’t no way…
Yes. MAKE him share the load. Right now, he’s your oldest child. Let him know that. Now.
Start using birth control geeze get rid of the bum
Stop having children with this inconsiderate man-child. You will always be on your own to raise them.
If he took you for granted before having kids with him and didn’t lift a finger after having your 1 yr old why would you continue to stay and have another kid to lazy selfish prick. Reflect on your choices here too
Throw the whole man in the trash and start again™
Just get rid of him.
Talk it out and I definitely recommend starting with OurRelationship.com to help you talk about it. If you need further help then counseling but I do recommend this first
Get out of that relationship
Throw the whole man out and start over
These can’t be the same men that Dolly begged Jolene not to take
Men really are so unaware of their current market value.
I’d deal with it through divorce. He doesn’t deserve you and you are living a single mom life so may as well ditch the dead beat loser and get a real man!
Eww I hate guys like this! Kick his ass to the curb & find a new man who will celebrate you like you deserve.
I’m just waiting for him to die, never soon enough for me.
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Yes leave his sry ass
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He sounds like a piece of shit. Let him go
He sounds like a piece of shit. Let him go
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You should probably look at yourself and wonder why you chose to breed with men who dont want the life.
beep beep
[horn blowing]
You can do bad all by yourself. Ur already doing it alone. Drop the dead weight
Ditch the asshole. You’ll be much happier.
He is trash, u are gold. Toss that worthless unappreciative butthole to the side, believe me momma there are men out there that will take those kids on like their own and treat u the way u deserve. This man is not that
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This is my relationship omg
You deserve better! You are better!
I left from that🤷🏽♀
Leave his ass. He’s using you
Yeah, find a new man
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I went through this too and I left and honestly it was the best decision I made…I was scared of being and doing it all alone, but I was already doing it all alone. It was causing me extra stress and worrying all the time…when I finally took that leap it was honestly freeing. Maybe talk to him first and see if he’ll change…
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you get over or move past resenting your partner?
I was in this situation, raising our son financially physically and mentally all by myself when we were still together and he was more worried about hanging with friends or partying and telling everyone I was annoying. Yah, a woman gets annoying asking for help when a man won’t lift a finger 
more like that man gets annoying. If you’re really that unhappy and talking with him hasn’t worked its best to get yourself into therapy, start saving to leave and LEAVE. And don’t feel one bit guilty about asking to court for child support if he doesn’t help financially. I had to put cs on my ex when he promised he’d help and look where he is now, absent. Because he couldn’t get his way and run off financially free.
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If you figure out how let me know I have so much anger and resentment towards mine we are still together but I am so over him and making moves to set myself free
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You are already raising the children alone so why not make it official? The kids will sense ur unhappy and it’s not fair for them to grow up in a unhappy home, u have left a previous man so u know u are capable of leaving another who offers u nothing in the relationship.
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Doesnt sound like he deserves your forgiveness! Why would you want to? This is not a healthy relationship for you or your children.
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Sometimes there is no way to get through that and the only option is to leave him. It’s not resentment towards the things he’s done but more so the way he’s made you feel and if you are made to feel worthless he’s not worthy and unless you break away and focus on yourself to build yourself back up whether together or a part you will always be left with the empty feeling of not being enough
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Tell him to man up and be a loving responsible partner/Dad or get out. If you let him get away withit he will keep doing it. Good luck
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Men can be super insensitive. maybe you need to have a good conversation. If that doesn’t work if you can spend the night at your mom’s for a few weeks. Maybe he needs to miss you and remember why he loved you in the first place. And if that doesn’t work… There is your sign.
All of you people are trying to misguid that women shes asking for help to possibly fix her situation and save her marriage and mostly all of you are teaching her to just get up and give up and take the easy route out, it’s not a simple solution nor a quick fix. My advice would simply be to communicate with your husband make him acknowledge the birthdays that he missed all the special occasions his missed and let him know how you truly feel, the same battles every human goes through we have to think about men being humans also and we don’t know what men go through in the background also so the understanding lies with essentially the both of you. Because remember a relationship is two people not one and sometimes we all can be blinded by life and what it throws at us. All I’m saying is Don’t throw the towel in yet just communicate first and if nothing has changed a year from now that’s long enough for a man or women to realize what makes them happy and what makes them hate each and every thing. Just my little ol advice 
but all in all I hope your relationship goes good with the both of you and remember the spark you guys once shared when you first met 
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Leave you shouldn’t have to tell him the obvious. He doesn’t respect you. Sounds like he is pushing you away so he doesn’t have to be the bad guy and break up with you.
Self love is not being selfish
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I felt the same way all the time at one point. It finally got to where I opened up and told him how I felt. He worked on fixing the problems. And we still have moments, and when they happen, I tell him. We’ve been married 11 years now and have 4 children. Communication and compromise are key in a good relationship. If he doesn’t want to fix things after you talk to him and give him the opportunity, then you should leave. It’s not good for you, and especially your kids, to be in that kind of situation and feeling like that.
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Your resentment isn’t misplaced though. I would talk to him about it, but if he refuses to acknowledge the issues, I would rethink staying in the relationship.
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If you are doing it alone anyways, remove him from the stress and do it alone. You will feel so much better and your kids won’t be watching the added stress.
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It’s not the resentment. If he’s useless and brings nothing to the table as a parent and a husband. Bye
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you don’t owe him forgiveness. you owe yourself and kids a healthy fulfilled life.
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I saved more money and bought a little house after I divorced . If you’re doing it alone now , you can do it when you’re single
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I would have a very honest conversation with him about your needs and expectation. Give him time to make adjustments. If he can’t help and be more of the partner you need then you’ll need to make some tough life choices, stay with him while unhappy (which won’t work long term) or leave. Finally sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder. I’m sorry your feeling so lonely.
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To be honest, I would get my tubes tied, so I wouldn’t have to worry about more kids to take care of. Kick him to the curb, focus only on yourself and your kids. Keep your chin up, and show your kids what a real parent look like. Make SURE you get child support from the bum. Too many guys get away with not taking care of their responsibilities.
communication!! your resentment isn’t misplaced but if you haven’t told him all this, you aren’t giving him a chance to fix it. You’re trying, again, to do all work again by asking how YOU can move past it! Have a serious honest conversation with him and tell him to man up and start acting like a father and husband!
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It sounds like he is centered around himself, to be honest, if he has not made any signs of changing then there won’t be in the future.
It’s your life and your children’s, look at your choices and choose your best option for now and the future.
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Definitely need to have a sit down. Set the kids up with drinks, snacks & a movie & you 2 have a sit down. You have to put it out there. Communication is legit key to happiness! Keep in mind its not about what you say but how you say it. If you already have seriously voiced your concerns & no change then… Get out! He should want to atleast be a parent even if not a partner.
Remind me why you had baby #2 with him after he already showed you who and how he was after baby #1 ??
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Try counseling. If that doesn’t work decide if the energy of the resentments plus caring for 3 children, yourself and him is making you happy. You deserve to be happy. Don’t wait 18 years.
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Girl if you can’t talk to him about how you feel and he doesn’t show that he appreciates you….it’s time for him to leave.
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Why are you having babies with a man who doesn’t respect or cherish you? If he claims to love you, he needs to treat you that way.
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You need to forgive. He is the one who does all the supporting. You stay home, you complain much.
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F**+ that. Your resentment is valid and he can get his act together or move on
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I would try to talk to him first and then if he doesn’t want to improve the way he treats you, I would leave him.
Sperm donor, that is all.A real man treats a woman as a rose not dandelion.
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if hes not willing to change then leave…id rather be a single mom than be with someone who makes me feel like one
Why are you even with this dead weight? From what you wrote you are a single mom who happens to have a live in sex mate
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