I’m a mom to one child who is 4.5. Here’s the thing I’m having an issue with… how do you moms of a single child get your kid to independent play?! She has toys but only wants to watch movies or be on her tablet unless a friend is over. (Or if she’s at daycare) Maybe I’m just a terrible parent because I don’t “play” well with her??? Sure I color, or do projects, or take her to the park… but like I want time to myself where I don’t have to entertain her, and she can still entertain herself without a screen. And please don’t just say take away the screens- I’m not that mom.
Honestly, I would give her time frames of when she can play on the tablet/watch tv. If they are available, of course she is going to choose that. I’ve learned that if I tell my son that he can play with the tablet in a little while, that he will use his imagination with whatever toy he finds and lose track of time, and before you know it he’s not even thinking of the tv or tablet. Turn some music on and let her dance and play with her toys.
I agree with Allysa Hoffman. If she has access to the TV and tablet all the time, that is going to be the only thing she wants to play with. My children have a tablet, and I set a time limit on it. After that is up, they put it away, and find something else to play with.
Enjoy it it won’t last.long !
Playdo, coloring books, and her favorite characters with toy car or dollhouse.
Your not that mom. Ok so your the mom that lets her kid rot her brain in front of a screen all the time? C’mon… Get her a friend to play with…put her in head start or preschool!
Take away the tablet silly woman
Interactive baby dolls, animals that make noises, doll house, play kitchen have her look at different toys with you and see what catches her attention.
Maybe encourage pretend play? Maybe get her a dollhouse and some barbies and some cute clothes and furniture, and let her play with them for hours? I used to entertain myself as a kid for hours playing with dolls and pretend play!
Ouch harsh judgements here. My son plays both and I don’t take his phone away or limit time. Give them activities that are interactive and creative. Mine loves colouring and building things out of recycled boxes, craft stuff, play dough and all his hot wheels. Even a fan of painting little plasters and paper and the likes. Trial and error with new things that they love. Mine gets bored of his phone in am hour or so and plays with his little brother.
It’s okay that you’re not that mom. Do not let others’ opposing opinions get to you. I don’t limit screen time for my daughter because she plays a lot.
When I want my daughter to play with her toys, puzzles, books, etc, I just put the tv on a show for me that I know won’t interest her. She still gets the feeling of a tv on but she is using it as a background while she plays.
Set up safe project areas that are appealing to her at her height. Maybe something with music, or craft. Try giving her a task/job todo that she can do like water a plant or fold basket of towels.
Buy her a fake kitchen for Christmas and ask her to cook you meals have fun with your baby they are only little once and time goes faster than you think
My 3 yr old has uses a spare phone for games and kids tube
The only problem we have is that she likes to watch her kid tube while eating but that’s it
She either loses interest in it and plays with her toys or she watches frozen videos til the phone dies then she goes and plays with her toys
There are times where she will want me or her dad to play with her since she’s a only child and has no one her age to play with
My kid is same way. I got a kitchen timer and told her she can play in her room or playroom until the timer goes off. It helps her be more imaginative. She’s just very social and loves being around people so being by herself isn’t always that fun for her.
You are the parent…TEACH her how to be independent, TEACH her how to play, encourage her imagination…so you can have your all important time to yourself. Nothing wrong with screen time, but yes it should be limited. Perhaps show her a toy book or something and let her pick out some learning items, or toy kitchen, a play house, etc
I too am having this problem with my 3 year old son. I personally found that saying hey the table needs a break its really tired from playing, lets play eith cars/dinosaurs (basically whatever the favorite thing is at the moment) he will allow me to put the tablet up for at least 30/45 minute intervals and if he asks nicely for it back I will allow it for an hour or 2 then do the break time again, but if he demands/whines for it back I simply say no its still relaxing and direct him back to playing with toys. He also has been wanting his shows on both tablet and tv so I am currently workin on the understandin that the tv and tablet play the same things have same apps etc he does not need both on at once. And ive also found that when the tablet dies I simply say oh man looks like it fell asleep we gotta plug it in for bed and he thinks of it as me tucking him in nights lol.
My kids were into Barbies. I would always set the scene like ‘tonight we’re going out to dinner, what should I wear?’ I set up a bedroom-klenex box makes great bed and linens. I’d start laying out doll clothes etc. I’d find a mirror, and I would get my kids involved in setting up the room, the clothes. We’d even use Kleenex boxes for cars. Get her to use her imagination, it’s a starter that might keep her busy for a while.
And yes my children had a 3 story doll house but it is fun to make additional rooms
Kids at that age need direction in all things- you have to spend a good hr or 2 a day showing her how to play by herself. They learn by seeing you do that…AND by the ideas you present to them. Look up diff mental strategies in play for building good focus. Simple stuff… Legos, building with wood blocks, etc- and show her how to try out certain mind challenges. Like stacking odd things on top of each other.
Or puzzles. Look at pinterest theirs tons of ideas.
But really her independent play is going to depend on 2 things, how you example and guide it, and her personality. She might not like being alone.
… And no judgement but you will run into the issue at a larger scale if you always allow screen time. If it makes you feel mean, do it in a distracting way. Don’t even say it, redirect her attention to your new skill building play
Some kids can play alone, some just don’t seem to be able to. I have 5 kids, 2 play by themselves often the other three do not.
Is it because she doesn’t want to go off in a room by herself to play maybe? I know my daughter doesn’t like me to really be out of her sight and she’s six. She has an area in the living room that has her toys in it so she can play by herself but still have me near her.
Give her a few age appropriate books. She might just like using her imagination differently
Introduce her to some imaginative play ideas. We used to play the floor is lava, school, library, ice cream store, pretend our bikes were buses. She will pick up on a few ideas of her own. Its ok to want time to yourself. Kids will look forward to quality time with you if they have both. Maybe you could balance out screen time with book time. She can look or color books for half an hour to half an hour of screen time. That will get ready for school as well.
With my daughter i did tea parties set up stuffed animals babies sit them down and give water in little cups…we got a kitchen sink that dispenses water shell play with that forever!!
Or ill have her draw me lots of pictures to stick on my fridge. She like building blocks stacking cups books shell pretend read to me( we have jenga). kinetic sand slime…my daughter is also princess-e so any type of dress up it took a while but now shell sit in her room and play for hours with bunch of things puzzles or music she has a karaoke machine
Welcome to parenthood where children need our attention 24/7. If u want time to yourself it’s going to be after bedtime or before she wakes up. Get her toys she will actually like and will keep her interest.
With my oldest I set him up with activity toys and stuff to get his imagination going, while being busy near by. He knew I was right there but it was okay to keep playing by himself. No he is the same age and LOVES what I call “independent play time”. He has a sister now and sometimes would rather play by himself for a short bit.
Don’t give tablets and phones to a child and they’ll be forced to find ways to entertain themselves
Let me know when you find out…my 5 yr old and 4 yr old never play anywhere in the house but in my exact space.
Since my eldest was 13mo I constantly told her to “go play.” I pushed and pushed her to play by herself. Actually showed her once how to make little figurines talk to each and stuff so she could play that way too. In her 3s and early 4s I would have to set up little scenarios for her to jump start playing, like “oh no, the Paw Patrol pups need to save Queen Elsa!” Whatever. It worked. She’s 5 now and she can play independently for well over an hour with her toys. In the backyard I encourage both my kids to “go play, go play.” I only stop what I’m doing to swing them or sometimes go see something if they ask. Kids are okay in their own little kid-playing world and it’s okay for parents to do grown up stuff. My son is newly 3 and for over a year now when he needs a change of scenery we put him in his room to play with the door shut. He loves it and plays with all his toys and cars, wrecking his room in his play. You don’t need to create entertainment for your kids. Let them be bored. Tell them to go play. Show them how. Then tell them you have grown up things to do and go do them.
I’m sorry if this comes across wrong… but … your time is when she is asleep. … they are only young once enjoy her while she is little take the screens away and spend good ole fashion time with her while you can … give her some screen time while your cooking dinner or really need to get something really important ( it can’t wait ) done … you choose to bring her into this life and keep her … not saying your a bad mom at all but why would you want her to play by herself if she enjoys playing with you. Soak it up while you can because one day you will wish you had and didn’t and she won’t want you around
My sons 7 and having this exact same issue I had his sister last year and still didn’t change this generation is just going into electronics and devices I had to pick up video games he likes to still keep our bond im not the mom to just get down and play either but I’m not gonna take his screen away because its his comfort. I’m right here with you
Set a time limit ! Usually 15 minutes for computer time, you must be in charge, or pay the consequences.
My kids are like this too. Not in the sense that they don’t know how to play alone, they do, and thry both have great imaginations, but in the sense that neither is interested in entertaining themselves. They would rather whine or cry about how bored they are. They both probably get more screen time than they should, but my ADHD kid jumps from activity to activity, and only started watching actual TV (vs YouTube on her tablet) this year at age 11. The baby is 20 months and will watch too much tablet (also not that interestedin tv) but I have things I need to get done, and if I’m not sitting next to him or entertaining him he will scream until I give him the tablet or something else that is so distracting he doesn’t notice I snuck into the kitchen to do the dishes, or whatever. My kids want to play, but unlike other kids they want to control the action, and they also know the second you introduce anything educational . Honestly, they learn more from YouTube educational videos than they do playing with me! No books, no alphabet, no counting, no pointing to pictures, no shapes, not animals sounds, nothing I want to do with them is acceptable. 11 yo is ADHD/ASD, and I’m guessing the baby may also be on the spectrum, so… idk if that’s why it’s hard to play with them, but they need constant sensory input and entertainment. Like, I love them, and I do for them constantly, and I play during therapy sessions, and fight with them both throughout the day to get anything done. Plus, I also have stuff that I need to do, and a part time job from home. As it is, I get up at 4:30 everyday to get things done and be available for them, but I don’t have it in me to play their games and entertain them for more than an hour or so a day. I just don’t. I’m not gonna apologize for it. I work really hard. I dedicate my life to these kids. I will work on the baby’s screen time to the best of my ability as he gets better at communicating. I will cuddle, and wrestle, and tickle, and play when I can find the strength (mental or physical) but I gotta live my life my way. We do what we can. Set aside an hour here or there. Limit screen time when you can find it in you. Arrange play dates often. And try not to beat yourself up. Hey… maybe an imaginary friend will work? I used to take my daughter outside and have her run up and down the block and compete with her own times, while I sat on my phone. Anything to exhaust her so she would play by herself inside. I also gave her ideas for what to do when she said she was bored. Play store with your barbies and use your cash register. Play vet with your stuffed animals. Play mommy with your stroller and dolls. She’d say no to everything, so I had to limit it to 3 suggestions, but there are other people in this family to play with. Mommy is busy or tired from all the arguing, and negotiations, and meltdowns, and speacil needs, and therapists, and doctors, and housework, and sleepless nights. Just the way it is. #sorrynotsorry
Well if u want your daughter to entertain herself then take the fucking screens away!!! You as a mother NEVER should have let her have electronics at her age fml!!! My oldest would entertain himself for hours on end when he was all by himself. Same for my youngest son he did the same thing. All kids are different YES BUT when a screen is out in front of any child they then become very lazy
Find what she is interested in by seeing what she watches. Mine is 8 and loves minecraft, and I think a lot of that has to do with her love of building things. Always has. Figure out what she likes most and provide it as an off screen thing. Granted, you will probably have to start by limiting the screen time first.
My daughter was the same way at that age! With every toy she could imagine wanting she hardly touched anything. I was also frustrated. She kind of just grew out of it. It’s only been since quarantine that she’s actually played with her toys. She usually has the TV or YouTube on in the background but she’s playing and pretending by herself. I did tell her about how I played pretend when I was little- maybe that helped.
Finding toys of her favorite characters or sets that involve characters from her shows to create things to act out. I also found kids yoga on youtube which gets her up and moving while watching it the screen…comprimise I guess in that aspect…also mine loves her playdoh
Art. Crayons and coloring books, markers, paints, whatever. Cutouts and paste. These things feed creativity, have structure but lots of freedom. Baby dolls and kitchens are great, but are basically toys that mimic adulting. Artwork is pretty solitaire and usually a quiet activity…
It may be because she doesn’t want to be out of your sight. While yes I held my toddler and gave her cuddles, she spent a lot of time crawling around as a baby and became very independent on her own. I’d get in the floor and play with her and still do but for the most part she can play on her own when I’m busy. There are some days she just wants to sit on her tablet and that’s fine, 2 days out of the week isn’t going to kill her, I mean she is learning when she plays on it .
Now my 6 month old is crawling and yes she gets held but she also spends a lot of time in the floor playing with her toys or crawling in her sisters room and playing with her sisters toys.
4.5 is a normal age to grow out of toys. Shes getting older and is probably bored of the toys she has. Toy rotation will help her too. But quite frankly, this is kind of just how only children are. Once my baby is awake we are doing stuff together unless I’m at work or she’s at dance. You could try signing her up for an extra curricular like dance or gymnastics where she is working with someone else so you can have some down time while she does that.
I go into my 4yo son room and start going through his toys. Usally brings him out. I also change his toys out every other month. I store them in bins under his bed.
You have to teach her these things, and the only way she’s going to learn is by you showing her… sit down with her, play ponys, or babies, or chief, or have a tea party, I even do “school” with my kids and actually teach them thing like their letters, or how to count change… i know you time is super important, but do you after they go to bed
Ive come to grips with the fact that my “me time” is from 12am-1am… my 19 month old goes down around 10… my 14 year old on school days 11 ( hes free to stay up late on weekends) hubby usually around 11-12 … and i spend 1 hour a night by myself …as the day starts all over again at 7 am…
My baby wont play by himself… but im totally ok with that… i work from 2-9 5 nights a week … so i enjoy our mornings together … cause in the blink of an eye he will be 14 and never around us anymore…
My daughter is turning 10 this month, but when she was a toddler she had a tv and some dvds, a mobi to go system (something like that) and that was it for electronics honestly until about maybe 2 years ago I finally allowed for her to get a tablet for her bday/Christmas. We still are a very minimal electronic household (phone, tablet, Nintendo switch) are all she has access to and I feel she learned how to play by herself by doing that, she still chooses to play with her baby dolls/toys and play board/card games vs be stuck to her tablet/phone/switch/tv
The play and walk method.
Start out with a project (painting, play doh, barbies etc) and play with her for 5-10 minutes.
Teach her how to do the things she’s struggling with. Then, tell her you have to do something (laundry, go to the bathroom, meal prep etc).
Allow her to continue on by herself.
Go back every now and again to engage but then walk away again.
That let’s her know that you’re there but also gives her a chance to play alone too.
I know mommas here are saying “play with her, she’s only little once” or “your alone time is after she’s asleep” but kids need to learn how to play independently. They need to know how to problem solve their boredom. They need to learn how to be creative on their own. Self soothing is a skill that many children lack because parents have guilt about not engaging with their kids every minute.
Momma, there is no shame in needing 10 minutes to yourself.
And yes, tablets and TV are fine.
Honestly, my kids are 8 & almost 6. I still have to entertain them, unless I have a migraine and they have tv until meds kick in.
4.5 is still really young, remember ~ YOU are her safe place, YOU are the one who she wants to be with. As said above, your you time…is when she is asleep, or at school ( yes, apparently work counts as you time ).
Maybe try some new toys! Donate the ones she doesn’t play with, or look for a toy swap in your area n_n new toys are always exciting and may give you a couple minutes of her playing. My kids personally have zero toys, (no. I’m not a bad mom, they lost em all from behavior). They have books, coloring books, and activities to do.
“AnD pLeAsE dOnT jUsT sAy TaKe AwAy ThE sCrEeNs - I’m NoT tHaT mOm”. Yeah that’s why you’re having parenting issues, because you’d rather stick your kid in front of an electronic device to keep them quiet than let her play using her imagination. You’ll get no respect from me. If you want your kid to play independently, take the screens away. She’ll find ways to keep herself entertained.
I have a nearly 5 year old, (recent big sister) but if I let her on her tablet straight after school then that’s what she’ll do. She won’t want to play or watch a dvd, it will be all about the tablet. YouTube, games, learning, the camera etc… If I tell her no, she’ll try mess about to get me to say she can go on it, then she’ll watch tv, play with her brother then she’ll go play. She loves her dolls house, it encourages imaginative play through the dolls and furniture… Babies too, my little girl loves the play with her babies (Okay, she duct tapes them in cardboard boxes and calls them naughty, BUT she’s using her imagination )… I’m not good at ‘playing’ but while I’m tidying up we’ll ‘play’ pretend, she’ll knock on the door and pretend she’s selling cookies or bringing her new baby (our poor cat) to see me etc… Big talkers to, I explain everything while I’m moving around getting things done, but she still feels included because I’m including her if that makes sense …
She plays at school with her friends, and engages well so I know it’s not a social thing. If we have family over (cousins etc) they’ll go off and play… I think their at a funny age where their likes are changing too!
Take away the screen and let her figure out how to entertain herself without it. That doesn’t mean she can’t ever have it, but having it as a babysitter 24/7 doesn’t do her any favors. It’s obviously not working bc she doesn’t know how to play without it. Just try it.
Children mimic parents. If your time consists of you on your phone/tablet then that is what they will want to do. If you start spending time playing with their toys by yourself or reading books then they will start to do the same. It will be a slow process though.
That mom? I don’t even know what that means.
To be honest the answer to the problem is take away the screens. Obviously it isn’t what you want to hear but that is the solution. When they don’t have the option to stare at a screen, they will find ways to amuse themselves and get imaginative, get creative…etc.
Its a pretty simple solution, if the screens are a problem, take em away
I have one boy who is 9 and he still hates playing on his own. He hasn’t played with toys for a good while now but honestly if someone didn’t play with him he didn’t play lol xx
I struggle with this same thing. My kiddo is 7 now, and pandemic has forced her to do more independent play. One thing I’ve had great success with is making the screen be instructive or social. My husband (I don’t “tech”) casts her iPad to the big tv, and props the pad up so the camera sees a wide view. She facetimes with classmates, one at a time (not like her school zooms with twenty people) and they visit while they each play legos and show-n-tell to each other. Or kid yoga videos have been a hit. Then she’s moving and giggling. I have also had good luck with OutSchool online- they have tons of reasonable $ classes that are all zoom-style and age appropriate. Everything from instructional drawing videos to therapy-type groups about emotions to dance classes. The drawing videos she’s done have really peaked interest, and I find her drawing ALL THE TIME now. Quiet, solitary. Good luck
Take the tablet and limit the tv. Make her use her imagination.
Trust me, youre going to want to limit that screen time. I was that mom cause I started getting g burnt out. Working mom, taking car of my kid myself. He’d play alone no problem. He wouldn’t get the tablet. But he could watch tv. I started incorporating the tablet freedom more when he was 5, beforethen not at all unless is the Amazon freeplay but it always broke. At 6. Its AWFUL. They lost it all together, the dependence on the tech is too much. Overwhelming. And not helping his learning.
But mine has huge attitude too, doesn’t help.
Just my opinion.
Some kids just can’t self-entertain. My oldest did ok, but she was only 1 when her brother was born. That brother could never entertain himself and was always mopey and whiney about being bored. My youngest lived in his own world and could keep himself entertained for hours.
There is a book called, The Birth Order Book. But I’ll give you the short answer.
An only child is termed “the little adult”. She will not be likely to play on her own. It is not because of screen time or parenting style.
One technique that may work is a timer. If you color by yourself until the 20 min timer goes off, you get your tablet/a game with mom, ect.
Good luck. Mine is 11 and this is still an issue. I’ve learned to keep him busy and schedule lots of playdates.
So she tells you not to mention taking away the sceen which is causing some of the child’s problems. What was the point of her even posting this and asking for help.
My daughter watches Spirit on Netflix and loves to play with the figurines. She also plays barbies and baby dolls. Maybe play with her a few times. My daughter also likes puzzles. Maybe compromise and tell her she has to play/read for half an hour before she can have time in her device
I’m assuming you don’t want to be the “mean” mom with the whole “I’m not that mom” statement. Unfortunately, sometimes you have to be. It just comes with the territory. It really sounds like you know that already.
Take it away, tell her she has plenty of actual toys to play with and send her on her way. Sure it will be hard but you have to set rules and boundaries.
My son is 7, almost 8, and is the same way… what i have had to learn is It is ok to let your kids be bored. When they are bored they will eventually figure out how to entertain themselves and use their imagination. It is hard sometimes at first to just let them be…but necessary.
I think it’s a personality thing. Some of my kids were just born being comfortable playing alone. Others would go knocking on neighbors doors asking if they had kids.
There are more and more studies children need less toys. If they have too many options they are overwhelmed and lose the creativity to play.
“Playing” is boring if its alone, a child who has access to screens, wont very often choose to be bored. Either play with them, or limit screen time, but honestly, pick your battles. Cuz once you’ve given them access, it’s pretty hard to revert to “imagination”
You have to take away her electronics because she doesn’t KNOW she can entertain herself! Sometimes we have to be unkind to be kind.
Get down and do child play. Learn to loosen up and play like a kid with a kid. Laugh with her, do silly things that she would love. That’s what moms do and dads do the same things.
Daughter at that age would set up her stuffed animals and ‘read’ books to them. Play age appropriate music and let her dance, sing and make believe!
If you don’t take away the screens some of the time, she won’t learn to entertain herself. Restrict the screen use to certain times, then it’s off to play. Once she has unstructured time, she will learn. Kids can’t be creative without being bored.
Have patience. I get it, I used to regret playing with my daughter bc she would LOVE it, how I’d make different voices but trust me momma, you will miss when they think you are the coolest playmate. Does she like sports? My daughter got into softball and basketball and at 11 that’s all she wants to do. Well besides tiktok!
I say take away the tablet. Children that young do not need to constantly be staring at a screen. They will do that enough when theyre older. It completely zaps their imagination. It actually makes me sad seeing little ones so addicted to screens already.
I think it’s kind of sad that some of the comments on here are saying it’s “lazy parenting” or selfish to give a kid a screen from time to time, wondering if it’s a generational thing but screens (limited of course) can be beneficial, there are a lot of learning apps and games out there. And while I agree they shouldn’t be on them when they’re super little and shouldn’t be on for an extended period of time that’s the world we live in especially now where most schools are on remote learning by using a screen. But we really shouldn’t be calling any mom lazy or selfish or whatever because they give their kid a screen so they can have a little break. It’s just as important that a mother or father have a little time to themselves, I know I’m a hell of a lot more patient with my son when I’ve had a little time to sit down and relax so for those making negative comments weren’t you taught if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all
Btw to the mom who posted you are doing amazing so just remember that
Sometimes it helps if you help set up a play situation. For instance, we bought my daughter a chalkboard and she liked to color and draw so I would set up some chairs and say you be the teacher! She would spend quite a bit of time doing that. Sometimes I let her set up Dining place settings and pretend she was a waitress. Of course I would have to “order” food occasionally from her, but it wasn’t as though I was actually playing the entire time.…Another idea was to make a tent in the dining room and let her camp out with her stuffed animals.
Essentially I guess I was giving her ideas to use her imagination. Sometimes they just need a little help getting started.
My three year old has a great imagination . She play by herself all day while sisters are at school. Last night she ate her dinner by being a puppy begging for scrapes. Gotta really watch what they watch because evidently there are pregnant princesses and now she wants to have a baby every day. Play pretend with her and unlock her imagination
Fine motor toys were really the only things my children would (will) do independently. Honestly I’ve never seen my children have imaginative completely alone. Puzzle toys, Legos, magnetic building blocks, potato heads, magnetic dress up dolls are just some examples of things I would use for independent play.
We limit screen time for our kids and it has made a huge difference. They are school age and not allowed any electronics during the week only weekends. Even though we have 3 kids the older 2 play by themselves and together. Our daughter can play barbies and our son with his wrestlers for hours. Start playing with her and show her how to use her imagination. Buy puppets or something that requires lots of imagination. As a parent I understand needing the alone time. Sometimes peace is worth a million bucks. However if this is bothering you enough to ask strangers for advice take control of the situation you are the adult.
You don’t want to hear it but take away the screens. I work in a school kids are much too screen dependent. It’s sad. And yes, I also have kids but they are older so no screens until they were in middle school. I’m honestly glad iPads etc weren’t a thing when mine were little.
I feel you sooo much on this one. My daughter was an only child and I never could ‘play’ like she wanted it just didn’t come naturally to me. I would cuddle with and watch movies or take her to the park and push her on the swings etc but the actual make believe play she wanted I couldn’t stand it. I would tell her flat out I am not going to play with you you need to entertain yourself.
First you have to find their passion. Once you do that, they are always occupied. My oldest loved puzzles. He could do any kind and had the patience for them. Some like music, my middle son was hooked on cartoons. You just have to keep asking.
You sit down with them help start the play … help set up activitie and slowly move away… she needs to be engaged. My kids have tv on and like it as background noise. And sometimes play and sometimes not
Try to pretend you’re 4.5 years old. Get down on the floor with her…make a tent with blankets and sheets…have a slumber party…She’s young and has to learn to play on her own and you show her the way…If she has a friend that can come over, that’s great…do it often. When my son was that age, I would hire some of the neighborhood or church children in 4th-6th grade to play with him. I paid them a couple dollars an hour and it worked out great. They’d stay a couple hours, play in the yard or inside, have a snack… no TV, movies, or computer games and of course I was home to supervise. You may want to Google how videos and phones are affecting our children…it’s a serious problem and continues to concern me. Just a little note…these years fly by and you will someday wish she was little again…
My kids are 16 years apart. So they basically grew up only child. I took their tablets away. Yeah they cried . Went threw the I’m gonna die without my tv. ( my oldest was 4 when he told me that) so I played along. I dressed up as if we were going to his funeral. He was so mad but couldn’t stop laughing. Now it’s a joke in the family. Either way. Just take the tv and tablet and give her no choice but to play with her toys. Of couse shes gonna be mad. Just breath threw it. Stay and talk calm. She will be ok. I promise
What I did with my daughter is I play music for her and it’s always kids songs and songs she knows the words to. She will start singing and dancing. Or sometimes we will watch Zumba dances on YouTube and do the dances with them. That way we are getting exercise while still being able to have fun.
Sorry, but good grief…who is the parent? You set time limits and stick to it, send her off with educational toys…blocks, drawing pads and crayons…& forget the battery powered things, they will use their imagination if allowed to.
If you refuse to take away the screens and redirect towards something else, why are you asking???
Take away the electronics, turn off the tv and let her figure it out. She will. I promise! I have 2 kids- an almost 11 year old and an almost 4 year old. They both entertained themselves for at least 30 mins at a time. I used to do child lead play with my son for a little bit then say “ok mom has to do… so you keep playing” and it was fine. My daughter the same. I keep checking about every 10 mins to make sure that she knows I’m still kind of engaged.
I say let her be her. I have raised 2 kids who didn’t watch a lot of TV one of them were needy and the other one wasn’t. I’m raising a grandchild who is both of my kids put together. There’s nothing wrong with letting them watch TV or have a phone or a tablet we don’t set boundaries. He also loves to play outside and would rather do that instead of the other things. She knows what she wants just let her be and not worry.
I am laughing here. TV time, tablet time, tummy time. What happened to spending time with your child? Reading, writing, drawing, baking, watering the plants, taking care of the pet, getting on the floor, shopping, cooking and enjoying each others time. My boys must have had a bad life because I too worked and took my mommy time after they went to bed. Would not trade my memories with them. By they way, they are now 46, 37 and 35. Enjoy your time because time moves faster than you think. And take those pictures catching them eating a tomato with the fridge door open believing they are eating an apple.
First of all unless you take the tablets away from kids they will never learn any thing else.
Maybe make the tablet only available in the car or right before bed/nap time…
Also what worked for my child was having music playing while they played. I recommend kids songs example the little people, disney, or they might be giants all of which can be played on youtube for free.
Also ask the daycare what toys she tends to play with there most. Maybe she is just bored or overwhelmed with that she has at home.
Last but not least always remember that you are a great mom and it is perfectly fine to need or want a little alone time. Continue being the rockstar that you are.
Put parental controls on the tablet. When there time is up there done. I get not wanting to be the mean mom but sometimes they need to hear No. Why would she find something else to do if she doesnt have too. Get puzzles blocks dressup things that can be played independently. I still have to limit my kids on there tablet or thats all they want to do.
First of all don’t get them a tablet until they are older. They should be entertaining themselves with their toys & dolls. If they don’t have it they wont miss it at that age
Does she have small project type activities that she can do independently if you get her started? Bracelet/necklace beads kits? I buy the cheap craft paints, let my daughter pick a coloring book page that i tear out and tape to the table and let her paint. Play doh. I get scraps of wood and let her paint them.
Sometimes less is more…think what the schools use? Clay, doll houses, child size kitchens, age appropriate music, some have activity songs that tell them what to do. Ie: jump, hop, skip, etc. interactive educational toys. Where they get positive praise after each success. Creative items, puzzles, coloring, interactive painting activities intergrate different stimulating modes, music, dance and movement. But at that age they still require a lot of attention. Record your playtime together because before you know it…they will be off on their own. Relish the moments together.
All my kids and grandchildren are grown. I feel if you are not teaching them to entertain them self they will never learn to be independent if the only free time you have is nap time or bedtime you are not being fair to yourself or them. They can entertain them self in any room of the house that is safe. Teach them independence.
Create more time with her,involve yourselves in other kind of plays,like shading ,drawing, have little time for TV and tablet,talk to her all the time,parents we are like teacher we talk to our children and they also learn a lot from us
I know you want to cut screen time but for my 3 year old I get out the figures that go with the movie (example:if he watches toy story ill get out the woody buzz and the rest of them) and he will sit through the whole movie and mimic the characters on TV with his figurines
Stop trying to entertain her. Take the screens away. Tell her she needs to entertain herself. Mine only got a screen at that age when I needed the babysitter ie I needed to study or make dinner. He still played independently from a young age
Have you tried a kitchen set? My son did not do well playing on his own. Then he discovered my old kitchen set at my parents. He loved to pretend cook! He’d do this for hours! He was never one for dolls or action figures.
One of my granddaughters is an only child she will set the kids tube up with other girls playing Barbie and play along she has school friends and does sports but this Covid I was glad she could play like this
What do you mean I’m “not that mom”? If given the option most kids, will pick a tablet over most things. I give my kids a certain amount of tablet time a day if they use it all up in one sitting then they’re done for the day. I don’t think that makes me a mean mom for making them play with the toys they, at one point, begged me for.