Get her toys of characters she likes, for example my son likes minecraft, pj masks, sonic, and paw patrol that we’ve got toys of the figures and he plays independently with them
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Limit screen time. Tell her it’s play time & ask her what she wants to play with. Give her suggestions. If she won’t play by herself, give her a choice toy time or a chore she doesn’t like to do. Toys will win.
Make sure she has toys that she wants. If she wants “boy” toys let her play with them.
My daughter would get her Barbie house and Barbies out. She would play with them for about 10 min. Then her dolls would be thrown across the room as her dinos chased them. Her dinos would take over the house. She’s 25 & still loves dinos. She still has all her Land Before Time stuffed thing.
Limit screen time. They will learn to play independently. My 3 year old only gets a phone (for kids youtube or netflix) when I’m extremely sleep deprived and need a couple extra hours of sleep. But as soon as I’m up she’s off it and goes and plays in her room. Too much screen time will turn them into a zombie. You need to actually play with her for awhile. Play house, or drs, or chef, or babies anything really. They need to be taught this stuff. They aren’t born knowing about all of the possibilities for their toys. You have to give her a push
Believe it or not put her in living room clise if exits w couches n leave her w her toys but take away the tablet when i used to babysit my niece i nvr took it iut of her bookbag i would buy her crayons and coloring books and she was fine her mom would be shocked!!!
My granddaughter has a 3 1/2 yr old that she sometimes has trouble with. Mom has been working from home for months and this child thinks it’s for her to play with. They have come to an understanding that when mom says she’s working and can’t play right now she finds something else. Lots of Alexa videos or a movie she likes on TV. She gave up naps long time ago so that’s out. Play dates with other kids around same age helps. Don’t panic, mom, it will all work out.
Don’t ever tell her has to read she will turn away from it. Let her tv etc, be a reward if you do this you get to do that it will take time.You will have to be consistent . Good luck!
Imagination playing, parents were too busy working and providing to entertain nine children we learned to be self sufficient early on!
If she is stuck the screen, maybe try some age appropriate learning aps. As far as getting you time with her not on a screen. Give her some books, toys and tell her it’s mommy time and she has to play. Even if you don’t get alot of peaceful time for a few days, ignore any attention seekings things she trys. She will learn.
I’m agreeing my daughter is 3 loves everything playing outside her tablet my phone the tv her toys everything but if she has access to the phone or tablet she won’t play with anything else. I take it away she screams or asks for it for a little I tell her to play and I help her into whatever she what’s to play with whether it’s her doll houses or whatever. You may not want to hear it but take it away! It’s the best thing I promise!
You’re probably not “that” parent…but we all are. We all want a break and screens are good baby sitters. In our house you earn your screen time. Chores and homework and showers etc. Yours is too young for that, but she can earn it by playing nicely with her toys for a while. If she has too many rotate them in and out so there always new. Dont expect her to play and then clean it up herself. You’ll have to do that. So even if she “independently” plays you still have work. And to be really honest, 4.5 is too young to play alone. My 8yr old is pretty good about it now. 4.5 has short attention spans and needs help playing. That’s why she does well at daycare and with playmates. She’s only 4.5 for a short time. I know you want that break now, but some day you will miss it. So put down whatever you “need” to do and do something with her. Let her help you make supper. Let her help you set the table. Let her help you make cookies. Let her help you dust, or vacuum or whatever else you need to get done. Let her play on her screens for a limited time so you yourself can transition, but then lower your expectations about what she is capable of. She’ll get there one day soon though, I promise.
Let her play with what she wants. Make sure her tablet is child safe and her shows are
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It’s too late now, but you should have had 2 children closer together, that way they can play with each other. All you can do now is to plan play-dates with her friends, either at their house or yours. Trade off so you both (mom’s) get some time ‘off duty’.
It’s mostly experimenting with what works. I have a soon to be 5 to girl, I limit tablet time to no more than 1 hr per day, her tablet has a timer that allows me to set a time limit per day. If she sets it down before the hour is up, she can pick it back up and it resumes count from when the screen locked. TV time is 1 hr per day then Mommy turns on soft music on Pandora for the rest of the day, Unless she has earned extra tv time.
Maybe it’s time to be “that mom” and just bite the bullet. Four is too young for screens, period.
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Play with your kids as often as you can. Before you know it they won’t want to anymore and you’ll wish for that time back.
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I would recommend having a set time of day to start out when it’s “no-screen time”. Like when you are making dinner, doing laundry, or just in your room by yourself. I did this with my daughter and it has become a routine where we have “quite time”. She goes to her room for an hour to play but has no screen time during that time. I set Alexa for the time so she’s not coming In every 5 seconds asking if it’s over. After awhile she got the hang of it and stopped asking. I wouldn’t recommend starting out with an hour for a 4.5 year old, but you can maybe work up to that. Start with 15 minutes and check on her. We also made lists for when she has alone time. She gave ideas of things she interested in and can do alone. If your kid can’t read yet I recommend drawing a picture and putting it on their wall. Also have set times when screen time is allowed. If it’s all the time her behavior and the routine will be harder to break when she is older. Be firm. Taking a tablet or screen time away won’t damage her in the long run. If anything it could stunt her imagination. Remember you know your child better than anyone. 
Your the mom, not your child. I am so sick and tired of kids telling kids what they want. Get over yourself.
Let your child color in front of you while you read a book. Keep the tv off. Both of you need that.
How about turning off all electronics for an hour a day so she has to play by herself. As it gets easier for her and you add more time onto play time. Just a thought.
Show love and understanding with discipline. They will mature by example. She will be able to apply this later on. This is not an overnight process. Some take longer than expected. Just be there and encourage each other with patience. Children can teach us how to become parents.
I grew up with very few friends, but I always found ways to entertain myself. Outside and in. Maybe limit screen time. We didn’t have tablets in the 90’s., so only ‘screen’ time I had was tv. Or video games as we were lil older -like 10, . Maybe other problem is she needs toys she actually is interested in.
The tv/tablet thing isn’t just an only child struggle. I have 4 kids, close in age and deal with the same thing! All we can do is try our best to structure their time in devices and encourage time away from them
Does she like to play with her dolls my grandchildren at that age would play hours dressing them up and having make believe tea parties, one Granddaughter loved LEGO’s and would build with them for hours. Does she have any sort of hobby she could collect and care for. One Grandchild has a tent and plays house with her stuffed animals seems to keep her busy for quite a while.
There is an old poem.Still very relevant. Children learn what they live
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Not sure what you mean by “I’m not that parent.” Do you mean, you’re not the parent that let’s her use screens all the time OR you’re not the parent that takes it away? If it’s the latter (not taking it away), that’s the problem right there. Children get addicted to screens VERY easily. Case in point: A few months ago, my mom showed my 2 yr old videos on her phone for about 10 mins. For the next week, everytime he saw her, he would scream and cry for the phone. We rarely allow screen time for our 4 children. After 10 mins of use, it took him almost a week to forget about it. Take away the screen. It may take a while to break the habit, but your child will be better off in the long run.
It’s important for children to play alone. It teaches them selfreliance and that it’s okay to be alone. As long as they are safe that is
Take away the screens. As an adult even I know that I spend way too much time on my iPad/iPhone. I was 1 of 4 kids growing up and have raised 3 kids so I don’t know what to suggest for independent play. Best of luck!
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Honestly, I have 3 kids, and my first never had that problem, but I didnt do Tv or tablets for him because I have watched kids become dependent on them. Now he can play quietly on his lego table or with magnetiles, do puzzles by himself(8yrs). When my second was born my oldest started school, I also didnt do tablet and limited screen time for more imagination play. She has the best imagination and plays independently very well even when we go places with kids she still lives to be solo sometimes. Shes more artsy, loves to color paint, and play with kinetic sand/playdoh, dress up, makeup. She also likes to play with horses or just have music on and dance (5yrs). Now my 3rd is 2, and my older 2 are in school so hes learning how to solo play with things he likes. I let him play with pots, pans spoons, hes currently deiving a car around the coffee table. He likes to color as well so I resort to the mess free sets for him. We still limit screen time, and have no tablets/video games or any other tech for the kids.
I would find some kind of craft on Pinterest that has the step by step she can follow and set her up at the table with the supplies and enjoy a cup of coffee while she problem solved and builds
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Go to Dollar Tree and buy some clothes pins. Drag out some old sheets and make a fort. Fill the fort with pillows. Or, find a big box and give her some crayons and let her color all over the inside and outside of the box. Or, you could get a refrigerator or wardrobe box. Use a box knife and cut out some windows and a door. Use LED christmas lights attached to the top of the box for lighting the box. She can color the inside and outside of this box too. Look up card board forts on Pinterest. I would attach example pictures if I could.
Set her up with some legos, or a large piece of brown packing paper, or blocks…something to create. Either have her make mommy a surprise (you can’t be right t by there with her if it’s a surprise for you) OR put a timer on and say, I want you to make a…village, a map of our house, your dream room…something…a picture of a pet or desired pet…and take your time and do your best. Set a timer…30-60 minutes, and have her work on it on her own…make it a game and reward her with some one on one, admiring her work…have her tell you about her creation.
Start at 15 minutes a day. Give her some paper and crayons and tell her to draw a picture or give her some puzzles. Set a timer so she can see how long it is. If she get done too soon ask her to do another. Try LEGOs. I hear they make them for girls too. You may have to help her at first. When she can keep herself busy for that length of time add 5 minutes. Make it fun. Tell her all girls need personal time.
My son always played well by himself. He very independent and doesn’t need to be entertained. He’s 48 now and still the same but is a very productive adult. Didn’t have all the electronics then. So it worked out well.
If you don’t spend time with her at this age, she’ll grow up thinking you don’t need her to spend time with you when your in your old age.
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I wish my oldest son that is 21 years old played with other kids when he was that age. He parallel played because he had Asperger’s.
I was that child, mom just told me to go play, I had to figure it out, did alot of drawing, as an adult I prefer to be alone
She needs the electronics put away. She needs to play with toys. Use her imagination. Role play. Interact with humans. She won’t learn to properly socialize later in life if she doesn’t do it now.
Yes ! He time on the tablet should be limited to an hour at a time a couple of times a day. Otherwise she’d probably be on the tablet all day. It isn’t good for them to be on it for several hours at a time.
My son is almost 5 and just started playing on his own. He’s limited on screen time and such, he just prefers to be with other people. I started making more of an effort to encourage his imagination and he started making the changes on his own. When you play, encourage that type of play. It will develop with encouragement!
Set a schedule to include playtime. Reading her books is a way to get her imagination going. (Bring a princess, nurse, etc)
Legos. Playdough, figurines, stencils, kitchen play with her stuffed animals. You have to look into what she likes. Baby dolls maybe she can re dress. There ate many things you kist have to find her interes. I have 3 children one liked baby dolls and playing kitchen, the other liled legos, and the other likes slime.
Un-friggin believable…WHY does a 4.5 year old need a tablet??? And WHY are parents so afraid of their kids that they won’t be PARENTS----that set BOUNDARIES…This crap is why we have so many problems with children today…
My son just played by himself on his own I didn’t do anything special.
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I have 2 kids (adults now). My son is older and loved playing on his own, cars, duplo etc. my daughter loved interactive play with me, res party, playing house etc. it may be the differences of their sex. Just go with it. All kids are different.
She has go be taught how to play. Teach her how to play with dolls and play in the kitchen. She just wants to be near you while doing these things.
I do screen time. The boys can earn more screen time with chores or good behavior. I unplug the tv when not in use and put the tablets out of site.
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I wouldnt take it away but I would limit her use. Allow time for reading or play time without a cord. Puzzles, coloring dolls etc.
Limit screen time. Be realistic. It takes time to build independent play. It is a learned skill- you need to teach it. Start with them at an activity, walk away, have a 5 min timer. Then a 10 min timer and so on. Montessori trays/works are amazing for this. I get most of my ideas from Pinterest. Montessori isn’t just busy work, they are learning skills needed for school and life.
Try car or have her watch sesame Street on channel 8 Phoenix time starts at eight and it’s so entertaining.
I have similar issues with my daughter and she is 8. We have set specific pad/computer game time. Kensi is very independent but sometimes she would need me or my husband to start playing with toys, and usually after like 5 minutes I could say Mommy has to do something else you play and I will come back and you can show me what you did. She has an unusual taste in toys and puzzle games we have fostered that.
I have an island between my living room and kitchen. When I read or write I usually do it there. My kids play with toys there or color there too. So they’re with me but we’re not playing together. Maybe read a book but sit in the floor so your child can play by you…
I played on my own for years when I was growing up. No choice lol but my daughter was like yours. Still is dependent on me for alot
how about a pet that she can engage with ? care for, run with etc she picks it out, names it
What do you mean ,not that mom? Put a limit on those things . No tv no tablets after all you ARE MOM. She will figure it out.
In the classroom their is a schedule. Group time, snack time, music, gym, recess, library.
In stead of taking the screen time away what about setting up a schedule.
Screen time,
Reading time,
Free play time/puzzles, games, playdough, dolls, construction, arts and crafts
Supper time
Bath time.
You set the schedule up that fits your family.
My grandkids get their screen time after school is done and their chores.
Good Luck, my kids were born before the hand held screens.
My one son got addicted to Nintendo when it came out. We had to hide the controllers b/c he was getting up during the night to play 
Parenting can be a challenge at times.
Take away her tablet and tv all electronics and she will get bored enough to play with her toys
Tough love…
Good luck
I was the youngest of 7 so I was never alone. Now that I’m old and mostly alone, I don’t like it either 
Do what you are comfortable with each child is different
What mom has time for themselves after babies. NEVER
Take the tablet away and get her stared with toy and leave her along
You don’t have to take it away set time limits on them for the day. An hour on each or combine it for one her choice. Do it for an hour or 30min her choice.
I got my me time by staying up later than my son. Now he’s a teenager and I get it by getting up earlier than him lol
Always he had a set bedtime!! No exceptions
My kids were always interested in arts and crafts and making things for others.
Well…you allowed her to behave this way; allowing her to watch movies and bought her the tablet. When you have children - ‘me time’ does NOT exist until they begin school. Schedule play dates - anything to get her outside and away from screens.
If you won’t limit electronics because " you’re not that mom" then you’ve answered your own question
My daughter kept to herself. Growing up she preferred watching Winnie Pooh cartoon, reading a lot. She kept to herself. We go shopping and do lots of activities. But at end of day she kept to herself. 
When your making dinner have supplies like kids cookware and playdough and let her pretend to cook with you
Then maybe you should become “that mom”. Take the screen away and limit her time on it.
Take The tablet and TV away, when they scream if boredom just let them scream, eventually they’ll go play with their toys, it’s not your job to entertain them. Boredom actually makes their creativity better because they have to figure out for themselves how to have fun
Kids copy. The toddler on the videos, has watched the nearest around on those cool machines.
Kids. Copy.
My granddaughter loves to read. Let her pick out books. Take her to A book store. They have a reading area . They see other kids reading. My kids begged to get new books. They love Leggos. Built a whole village
Make the lower half of her wall a chalkboard and get her find chalk! Have her draw you a castle and village
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does she like puzzles? color books? books to read? learning to print her letters and numbers? kids tends to copy what Parents are doing… what are you doing that she copies…?
First step, take away the tablet. You can’t interact with other children or people over the internet. Human to human contact is necessary.
Limit tablet and TV time. Unless it’s something educational. I find the electronics to make kids lazy when they are used to often. They will choose the electronics over any other way to occupy themselves every time . Try books.
Unfortunately with COVID you can’t send her to preschool. Maybe find a preschool zoom class so she can make new friends and have activities to do.
Moms never have time to themselves only after bed time !
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Anyone commenting here with more than 1 child is just not qualified to understand the difficulty. I raised a single child home schooling. Until you are alone for long hours as the entertainment committee you can’t understand knowing every future day will be the same challenge. I spent days at friends homes who had 2-7 children. Those kids could be left to play with each other because they almost self police. Certainly, they keep each other entertained. Only another child can play a game on the level with a peer. I have the highest empathy for this mom. My suggestion is to find community activities & another family who need a playmate . The guilt of allowing electronic babysitters is real. Reading is probably the most self entertaining thing you can teach her. From stories art can be created and playtime will mimmic. Let her help with anything around the house like gardening or cooking. Set goals with real rewards she can chart.
Why does a 4.5 child need a tablet.
I worked with my kid having him help me with dishes. Laundry - Changing wash to the dryer. Running the vacuum, etc. Make it fun. Then suggest play toys, LEGOS, Lincoln Logs, Thomas the Tank Engine and track. No tube.
Why not!!! My kids had no tablets. Jesus, shes 4. Take away the screens. BE THAT MOM!!!
Well, go old fashioned, invite a childhood kid over, and let them play with barbies or Lincoln logs. Eventually, your kid will find that entertaining. That’s how we did it as kids. Being adventurous is always fun with a friend or friends.
My daughter is 9 and is just starting to play alone.
You want her to play independently? Give her a sibling.
It’s the generation. Everything is electronic. Your kid is fine
turn the movie off and take the tablet away
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The screens are the problem, not you.
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Limit screen time to a hour in the morning and an hour at night.
Kitchen timers are an excellent tool for a child to watch while having screen time. They become aware of the actual minutes ticking away. Then utilize it for her independent play time in her room. Maybe one hour of playing quietly with her toys. Make it a game, make it fun but with the timer going. A progress poster works great.
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You ask for advice but you won’t take it!! You’ve created a serious problem & now you have to fix it. If you don’t get her creative juices flowing she’s going to be bored & unable to enjoy her own company for the rest of her life. If you’re worried about being the bad guy now, you’re really going to fail her when she’s older!!! It’s your job & responsibility to teach her how to be an independent thinker. Do what you know you need to do.
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Give her a time limit each day for her tablet and for movies
I’m 73 and when we were growing up we played with Barbies, listened to music, played with neighbor kids, read books, played games. Of course we were older than your child, but we did not have a tv either. I don’t remember being bored.
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I just have a son…he’s grown now but I’ve always said he was best suited to be an only child. He entertained himself. He loved to draw and make things. His drawings were good I wish he still did that. I guess I was fortunate he could be by himself. Children are different. My friends have only children who needed to be entertained. Depends on the kid.
Shes spoiled. Try telling her no. Go play
If you are the mother of one child be prepared to spend time entertaining. Two children play together, it’s normal for a child to want a playmate. Until they get in school you will need to spend lots of time with the child. I felt that I failed my daughter because I did not see this early on. I tried to have children over to play with her. I read to her and got color books and dolls, etc. for her. Her favorite was having other children over to play. Once they get in school it is easier but they still don’t entertain themselves early on. I took my daughter to the Library and got her into reading early on. She always loved reading. Eventually she had her own friends and did things with them. I advise mothers of one child families to try to relax and enjoy the time together. Think of things to do together, reading, making things, painting, coloring. Teach the child to sew and help make cookies. Look for fun things to do and enjoy that time, they grow up so fast.
Thts wht you get when you have electronic babysitters
I have the same exact issue!
My 3 year old grandson has a tablet that he wants to be on all the time. When he brings to our house I put it up and he knows he can’t have it all the time. I encourage him to play with puzzles, cars and have him build me block towers. In the evening usually about an hour or so before bed I will let him play on his tablet. This grandpa and me a little quiet time to watch something we like on TV on whatever. It also lets him wind down from the day and makes bedtime easier.
From day one, you engage them and find interests. Provide those and let them learn to self- soothe and entertain. Mine are 26,28 and 32 now
Give her chores or “school work”, she’ll be begging to play even alone!
Designate the screen time to play time, 1hr of screen time then encourage an HR of play or coloring or building blocks, Legos - maybe music while she’s playing away from the screen