How do you get your child to play independently?

The media is altering people’s thoughts, I would cancel my cable, programmed TV is just that, programmed…

You need to Model it!

Time limits on tv and tablet.

Try a schedule pin it up on wall,so little one can see it too.explain this is me and you time,this is mum time.or have your time when child in daycare or an hour before child gets up or after gone to bed.I understand its hard one parent myself but these worked for me.most of all remember your not a bad mum,your a great mum.

My son is the same age and doesn’t really play by himself either so I use his tablet time for mommy time and when it isn’t tablet time then we play together! He sees me as his mom, best friend and teacher cause we are always together as I’m a stay at home mom and homeschool him as well!

Every kid is different. When I was a kid, my sister and I could entertain ourselves and didn’t need mom to do it for us. My niece was one of those kids who needed to be entertained. All of us were kids before the ever-present screens came along and we all turned out just fine. My nieces daughter likes her videos etc, but can play and entertain herself quite well. You may NEED to be mommy and set some limits on the electronics.

What is she interested in on the tablet? Games? Movies? cartoons? Maybe you can build off of her likes on the tablet and incorporate it into off screen time.
I’m thinking like a book or activity. Drawing, writing, singing,
If it’s building a room, give her a shoe box and some little scraps of material to create a home, cut pics out of magazines of furniture and then get little favorite characters she likes to play in her house she created.
You can flip the box on its side and glue other boxes to it to create different rooms.
My one Grandson is an only child and he loved making popsicle roads and parking lots and putting his matchbox cars on them.
Also made rds with masking tape. Hrs of fun. (Note Don’t leave masking tape down to long on the rug it will be difficult to get up.
If you get a large box you can create a town or city to drive around to. Tt his works great because you can fold it up and store it for another day.

That says it all I’m not that MOM

Sadly I have no idea with the world we live.in now.

I was an only child. Technology was a rotary phone that was not a toy (unless you got a toy phone!) And a tv that got three channels of mostly boring grown up shows.

Toys were imaginative … Dolls, blocks, cars, dishes, child size brooms, mops etc. Crayons and coloring books, chalk boards and chalk. Etch a sketch, looms to make pot holders, cards to play concentration alone, books to look at.and.later read…when I was older I got a record player and had records that would have books that went with them and would chime so I could turn the page and “read” along, plus children’s songs, and later I fell in love with pop music stars.and.would listen and daydream to their music.

Outside I was.blessed to have a yard where I could dig and play or garden, A tether ball so I could play without a.partner, bubbles, a bike to tide in the driveway…

My mom said at an early n age she would show NE how to play then walk away. I don’t think families have the time to do that anymore. Everyone has been so busy with regimented activities…before school care, preschool, after school care, organized sports or play dates, visits n with separated parents nor grandparents or other family members. There is very little alone time to amuse yourself in that does not involve technology.

I wish you well!

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I’m very opinionated when it comes to this but why in the heck do so many parents give their little children things that hold so much responsibility? I don’t get it. To be honest with you, I don’t agree that a child should have things like a tablet, game systems, TVs, cell phones, etc… but that’s just my opinion. Maybe it’s because when my parents were raising me, they didn’t let me have a cell phone until I was old enough to get a job and buy one myself. That means I was 16 years old and I paid my own phone bill. It taught me responsibility. They didn’t put a TV in my room till I was like 13 years old and it had to be off at 8pm. Whenever I got in trouble, they would take the TV away and guess what happened? I got bored and saw my books collecting dust in the corner and thought why on earth do I have all these books and I don’t even read them. So I grabbed one of the books and read it and totally fell in love with books. My point is, I think you should grow a backbone and take those screens away. Once she’s bored with being bored she’ll find something creative to do. I can almost guarantee it. But, then again, every parent has different ways of raising their kids. :100:

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But that’s what you do. You take away the screens. Research the effect of screen time on the developing brain. You don’t have to take them away completely, but if she gets a screen every time she wants one that’s all she’s going to do. Decide on a limit, enforce it, and then make sure she has open ended toys available the rest of the time - blocks, stackers, vehicles, dolls, animal and tree figures, peg people, Legos, books, things along those lines. Then, when she tells you she’s bored, you say something along the lines of, “That’s nice, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” I’m not that nice, so I just use, “That sounds like a personal problem.” Then you hold to it. You can start with shorter increments at first if you need to, but don’t cave or negotiate. My 3.5yo plays independently like 8 hours a day, so it’s very possible.

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Take away the scenes or she won’t play independently. Enjoy your alone time when she is in Kindy. Engage her in playing together with Toys. Then slowly edge a way and encourage her to imaginative play with her toys herself. Things like supermarkets, tea parties and cubby houses etc.

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Time to yourself with a toddler happens when they nap or after bedtime. I love playing with my 3 year old. Sometimes she looks play by herself; other times she yells “put phone down now” or “play with me.” A time will come when they don’t want us, enjoy the time while you have it

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Give her magazines to cut up, paper to make cards, and glue or tape. Let her make surprise cards to give to friends, the garbage collectors, mail person etc. Give her a kiddy camera to take pictures. In the summer, sidewalk chalk to make art. Or papertape a design on the glass door and let her use water based markers to color the design. Get photos to share with grandparents.

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It’s hard for sure. Try setting aside a “playtime” with her so she feels she’s getting the attention she wants then make sure she has activities that she can do on her own. If she isn’t already preschool is a great option to get your adult time. A lot of kids lack imagination anymore and that’s mostly because of devices. Try giving her some age appropriate chores to do to limit screen time and keep her busy. Good luck, parenting is hard!

I remember when my oldest was the only one, and I was a single mom. It wasn’t easy. My suggestion is don’t be so hard on yourself. You don’t always have to play with her, if you are both in same room. I can remember letting my daughter play with her toys, on my bed, while I folded laundry and she talked to me. Other times, she’d play with her toys while she watched one of her shows; but I was in the same room , on my computer. Definitely schedule time for one on one, like going for a walk, bath time, etc. It doesn’t have to be perfect; as long as you are connecting and she isn’t just staring at a screen, all day long

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Get her toys that are small and fit in her hands, then sit on the floor and show her how to play with them. Engage in little conversations between two you have chosen and have those two “talk” to her toys. (My oldest loved my little ponies and Barbies, my youngest loved littlest pet shop.)
Little girls need a model of what to do. The first time, devote 7 minutes. The next time 5. Every time after that, 2 minutes. She is worth 2 minutes of your time any day!

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Good Luck! Not being sarcastic at all. I have a 12 year old daughter (my only child & there’s no other children near us). I have always played with her outside, inside we’d play Barbies for hours, color, art projects, we watch shows together. At 12 she still is ALWAYS right beside me, literally & physically. Even when she’s playing on her phone (a game or watching YouTube with her headphones she’s in the same room with me). I homeschool, have for a few years and she wants me sitting with her while she does her work. She’ll do it herself but just wants me there, she even fixed her room as a classroom desk for the both of us. I get wanting time alone (I Love my daughter, she’s my entire world, the few times I’ve let her stay with family overnight (a handful of times in total, I miss her). I LOVE to read and there’s a few shows that I watch that aren’t appropriate for her, not porn, just language, etc & I enjoy just relaxing for a bit myself. Even during these times she will give me a little space but comes in to tell or show me something several times. They just get lonely (she has incredible imagination & is super creative), they can entertain themselves but just prefer us to entertain WITH them. You’re not doing anything wrong. Maybe if you have family or a close friend you trust you could let her spend a few hours once a week with them. I completely understand what you’re going through just remember soon they won’t want to be with us all the time and we’ll miss these days. You can try sitting down and getting her started on a craft, painting, coloring, get her some stuff to play dress up and once she’s interested step away for a bit. Good luck & I truly mean that.

Get them involved in sports or other team play to help her develop interests, friendships, and other activities outside of electronics. Of course take away the electronics. Give her a book, or coloring book and spend time coloring together.

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Before I was pregnant I read an article about the childcare facilities @ Google & Apple. They mentioned that their childcare centers do not feature ANY type of electronic device for children under school age. The justification was, if children learn to be inquisitive & creative, their natural curiosity will drive them to learn to use an iPad or tablet, but when devices that sing, talk, move etc. are introduced too early, children never fully develop these skills.

Because of this advice, my “lonely only” didn’t pick up an iPad or tablet until his first day of kindergarten! He has has never had a hard time occupying himself. We also created a “Harry house” for him in the empty closet under the stairs; we decorated it w/Christmas lights & his drawings. He loves to spend time coloring & playing in his own space.

Lastly, when all he wants to do watch TV or play games, I ask him if he wants me to donate all of the toys he doesn’t seem to want to play with - he suddenly takes an interest in them again.

Kids that age shouldn’t have electronics. It’s a time for exploring, make believe, imagination, etc…

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Jamie Marie has a good suggestion. Start by setting a time limit to play. Ask her to draw you a picture of whatever she wants. Also Legos are a great play alone toy. Ask her to build something specific like a fairy castle or a house. Your alone time doesn’t have to be in separate rooms. Let her self play in the same room with you and give her rules so you get the quiet time you want. There are so many things she could do on her own. If you have construction paper, kids glue and safety scissors the sky is the limit to what she could make. Have her make greeting cards for family members. Get her activity books that have puzzles, mazes, and other tasks that she could complete. Children’s imaginations are endless and sometimes all it takes is one small suggestion from you.

I would set a time, everyday, and take the time to play with her. If she wants to play dolls, play dolls with her. If she wants to play with cars, play cars with her. They grow so fast! Don’t miss out, soon she will be a teenager and then, she will be gone, on her own.

Take away the screens. :laughing:

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Take away the electronics and give her paper and crayons, play doe, encourage crafts

Jamie Marie: Well, I’ll be “that mom”. My boys are 6 & 10. 10 has always been more independent… reading, drawing, researching, building. 6 does NOT like to play independently. I work full time, at home, kids are home for virtual school 4 days a week. 2 of those, there are 5 kids (co op group). Our screen time has gone to shit because I NEED alone/quiet time. I will not Shame you. I hate that my boys are now addicted and I’ve created a NEW problem for myself… fighting to get off the screens… but, someone else said it, pick ur battles. I chose to fight screens and make them go for walks w: me and new puppy. I have no advice except DO YOUR BEST! I find FB opinions don’t help. It WILL. Get easier… I have to believe that fir my OWN sanity. DO YOU!

First turn off screen and play with for a few weeks help her learn to imagine and pretend. Play queen and princess. And you have a kingdom but queen you are always boss. In a few weeks when you wish to have some”me” time. Tell her queen is out of town and she’s in charge and queen will be back in a half hour and want an update on what happened in the kingdom. Get her to use her imagination. Or teach her to make a paper chain and see how long she can make it.