Hi! I’m just curious if there are any other mama’s out there that are having a hard time with their preteen boys “becoming men”? My oldest son has had a phone since he was in kindergarten so I could get ahold of him.(He’s always been pretty responsible) however, it was taken away when I discovered he had been looking up “naked women” I’m not ready for this change in my ‘baby’… please send advice. Thanks…
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My only son just turned 13 and I just cry a lot 
sorry I have no advice
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It’s very distasteful to you but it’s normal, I have four boys and they were all curious
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My oldest is almost 14, I sat down and explained to him that 1) he’s too young to be looking at that stuff, 2) had a convo about how sex on the internet/in porn is NOT an accurate representation of sex in a loving relationship, and 3) if he hated how awkward this convo was then he wouldn’t do it again cuz I would be having a similar conversation with him EVERY TIME I caught him…
He also doesn’t have social media accounts, or his own logins for anything so i can see what he’s up to on YouTube, ps4, etc. at any given time…
But it is normal teenage boy behavior
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Looking up naked women is quite normal to be honest especially at that age. I wouldn’t punish him for it as he will just find a way to see or do behind you back.
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It’s very normal. My 15 year old son does the same
So it’s very normal honestly, and even more honest he’s gonna do it even if you tell him not to, now would probably be a good time to talk about boundaries and how the body works, stuff like consent and so on. Sorry you’re not ready for it but you don’t really get a say
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Definitely shouldn’t have taken the phone away… next time he’ll be smarter so you don’t know. Educate him… talk about safe sex and how it’s ok to be curious. But be responsible…
I think all boys go through that and it is normal, but as my oldest turns into a teen I’m so not ready. Good luck!
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Have open conversations now with your sons so that they grow into wonderful men who respect women’s bodies, and eventually their sexual needs.
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Research different apps that you can put on the phone so that you can set up what he can look up online and what you can block online. We use family link. You can set times on the phone and restrictions.
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Not good at all. Doesn’t even call or text says to busy working.
It’s so silly to take his phone because of that. He’s obviously watching it for a reason and the reason to it is natural and normal. He isn’t hurting no one.
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I have an almost 17 year old, 10 year old,
8 year old and a 6 year old. All boys….
Buckle up…
My 6 year old-when he was 3/4ish was using the talk text thing asking google to find pictures of naked boobs……
It’s crazy but it sure if a fun life 
You didn’t say his age but kids are curious. You can block sites on his phone but I wouldn’t take it away. Time for the talk?
Super normal. Take this as a opportunity to teach him.
My son is a preteen and I am fearing this coming also 
also I am a fulltime single mom to him so he has no father to guide him
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You need to respect his privacy. This is normal preteen and teenager behavior. You are doing more harm than good! Give him back his phone and discuss that these things are done in the privacy of his bedroom.
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Yeah…don’t make a big deal of it. Don’t shame him. He’s a boy. It’s natural
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How old is this young man and he’s going to look at naked women there’s too many magazines and movies out there
mine too i miss his voice now he sounds like a man but this shall pass my dear its growing up and the intrnet isnt doing us justice…but talk to him,a good relationship and trust is all you need… best of luck
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My son is 11 and we have caught him a few times looking at naked women on his computer or tablet. It’s extremely normal. We didn’t give him trouble or anything. We did have a talk with him. Told him that he needs to make sure it’s something he does in private.
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It’s normal. All he can do is look if he’s that young anyway. I have 3 sons over 18. They all did it. Yes it’s gross to me but they are guys
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I’m going through this rn with my 12 yr old and its killing me and all my husband says is he’s a growing boy. I grew up with a house of all girls so 4 me it’s all too much lol
Men have been finding ways to look up naked women for century. It’s nothing new they just have easier ways now with technology. You need to explain to him that porn or porn images are or porn images are very unrealistic and can cause some Serious addictions.
But the feelings and hormones are normal and natural.
They have some great books on it, look up on Amazon. Look up puberty and the sex talk.
Way over kill way to make him feel ashamed for being curious. You need to sit down and have a talk and explain if he is curious he can come yo you. He will see it and watch it regardless if he has a phone or not so please educate him.
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You can get a parental app and control what he looks up i use mmguardian
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You’re shaming for something that is so natural. Inform him of what is normal and what is not.
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I have 3 boys and 1 girl. They’re curious and it is normal. Rather than take away the phone and punish him, I would personally take a moment to tell my son that “although it is normal, there are a lot of high expectations and things that are fantasy and not hiw things happen in real life.” Talk about protection for men and women both, talk about what he thinks are good values in a girlfriend/boyfriend, talk about consent. Instead of trying to hide these things or make them out to be bad, try to have a conversation. A healthy relationship is all about open conversation in my house.
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Throw them away just kidding!! All you can do is make sure they are safe and not be pushy or shaming towards them.
My son is 16 turning 17 in August and I’m still not ready. Lol I’m thankful he’s so open and comfortable with coming to me about anything and everything (and I mean everything LOL) but at the same time I hate hate that he has to grow up lol wait until the “mom I’m not a virgin anymore” talk lol it’s all a learning experience and you will learn together. Don’t be to hard on him or he won’t come to you when he needs it. Try to be patient and understanding and remember things are much different today then they were when we were growing up. You guys will get thru this together 
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Right there with you.
it’s natural and age appropriate curiosity… shaming him can lead to unhealthy sex life later on. just let him know it’s ok, if he has questions don’t hesitate to ask, etc
A phone in kindergarten… Really?
By that alone I think you’re gonna be in for a rough ride
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Have a real conversation regarding porn vs reality.
Also research the sites he’s on bc many are being sued bc the girls are WAY under age. It’ll be considered child porn. Sounds crazy but it’s happening. Even Twitter and Porn Hub are being sued bc girls never gave consent to be videoed & some were as young as 12. Ppl are crazy.
Simple: His curiosity is normal for his age it’s when he’s 20s and 30s you have to worry about it, The preference of pornography over real women
I dont think you should be taking away things and punishing him for having natural feelings. You can explain how porn and real life sex aren’t the same thing but imo you really should not be punishing him for looking at these things.
Shaming him into thinking it’s wrong is not okay. He’s ready even if you aren’t, you’ll know what to do as soon as you put your personal feeling aside.
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Let him have his phone back. And respect his privacy. My son is 14. I do not check his cell phone, even tho he will hand it to me if I asked and be like "I would not check my browser history " I think as long as he’s responsible with his phone and isn’t talking to weirdos he should be allowed his own space. Taking a phone from a teenager over porn is only going to promote them to hide things from you in the future… and yes I miss his pre-teenanger self. Lol.
When he starts seeing girls, the talk is important. Our children need to be aware of stds and prevention of pregnancy. Right now you shouldn’t be too worried. He’s hitting puberty and needs privacy. Times are so different from when we were kids. The availability of porn and whatever is scary.
Haha, And here I am just telling my 7 year old, that "no I do not need to see how your skiddles are growing into M&M’s " And getting my husband to look at how pretty that woman’s butt is with me
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Dont worry mama it could be worse when my son was 14 i checked through his phone one day and realised that he had at some point downloaded kamasutra and then deleted the app, but dont worry cos it does get worse, hes now 16 and has a girlfriend and he recently shaved his balls in my bathroom sink and didn’t clean it like wtf who does that and even more so why are you doing shit
Like that 
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Just went threw this with my 13 year old.
I didn’t get mad. I said. If you want to touch yourself do it THATS fine it’s normal but there will be no porn on my house end of story and that was that
Time for a talk. No shaming. Let him know it’s okay to be curious. Time to discuss consent and right and wrongs, protection.
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You rather him learn from the world or you?
Porn can cause an addiction and give him unrealistic views on how women should look. I think it’s a good idea to limit it if possible. Maybe more of these men would not be so sex crazed if their momma had.
I wouldn’t take away his phone. You’re making him feel as if sex and the human body are something to be ashamed of. Curiosity is normal. Talk to him. Tell him that what you see online or in movies is not always an accurate representation of sex or women (or even men, for that matter). Be open. Otherwise, he’ll just start hiding it and being sneaky.
I’m not sure that punishment for natural healthy curiosity is a good idea, might he now be ashamed of his normal developing urges. Instead of removing his phone how about talking to him about future healthy relationships, respecting women even those that don’t respect themselves, consent and contraception. Your son won’t stop looking at these things but now will be too ashamed and embarrassed to ever confide in you. My eldest is 13 next month and instead of being upset that he’s growing up I’m proud to see him growing into a man, after all that’s what every mother wants their son to grow into isn’t it?
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So you made your son feel guilty for doing something that is normal?
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Firstly I wouldn’t punish your child for doing something that’s natural, maybe explain boundaries etc…I think we should also add an age in this post.
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Well I have 2 sons ,15 and 10 and neither of them have phones. 
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Butt out! He is not your forever. Love him as a mother should, but done control his every move. You don’t have a right to. Our jobs as parents is to raise them to be able to make it in this world without you. Get this, one day he’ll have a girl or another guy telling him what to do. So be thankful it’s naked girls he’s looking at and mind your own business.
Punishing children for natural urges is what creates sexually repressed people who are ashamed of themselves when they have no reason to be
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I think it’s very normal and by punishing him you’re going to make him feel he can’t be open and honest with you. My son and I talk about everything. I’m happy he feels comfortable enough to open up to me. It sucks but we have to let them grow up.
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that preteen has been exploring his and the female anatomy at least virtually for a few years ma’am
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Be understanding…my oldest sons are 18 and 14 and they can/will talk to me about anything…girl encluded. If they know ull get angry or give them consequences for things like that then they will just start hiding everything from u and that’s 100% not what u want.
Good luck lol xx
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I wouldn’t punish him just explain to him that everything u see on the internet is not real its makes people think their is only one body type and their is not
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He is growing up be glad hes doing it on his phone and not racking your cable bill up with pornos
Don’t shame him.My 19 yo(who’s a marine now)was caught looking up naked women.We sat and talked and as long as its not anything illegal,I’d leave it be.Also depending on his age.
Good grief!!!
Mine is going to be 13!!
I have walked in on him during his private time!!
I now know to knock before entering!!
He’s becoming a man,let him!!!
Being curious about nudity and sex is perfectly normal!!
Some start earlier than others!!
Mine has started to get facial hair and his zit face seems to be over for now!!
His voice is starting to change,seems like yesterday he was just my butterball!!
I had it easy … my sons are in their 30s now … so neither of them had a phone until they were adults. We did, however, have home computers when they were in their teen years.
It’s awkward enough to go through the changes from childhood to adulthood without being further embarrassed by being curious about sex and the opposite ( or same?) gender, and too afraid to ask. All of us go through it. When our bodies change, and we start to feel attractions and desire for another person, it’s embarrassing enough to ask questions without being made to feel stupid or perverted.
The best advice my parents gave to me, and I gave to my sons, (I have six grandchildren now), is that when a child is old enough to ask questions, they deserve honest answers. They deserve to have their curiosity respected.
We all had to learn everything we know, and hopefully we’re still learning new things every day. At my age, I don’t get embarrassed by much, but I do still get a little off put if someone tries to put me down for not knowing something … or tries to make me feel embarrassed about wanting to learn something.
The human body is what it is. Teach your children to respect their bodies, and to respect other people’s bodies. Teach your children to take care of their bodies, and to pay attention to the changes in their bodies. Teach your children that the only stupid question is the question that goes unasked.
Children don’t want to think of their parents having sex just as much as parents don’t want to think of their children having sex … it’s an awkward conversation, but it is normal human behaviour. It’s a fact of life.
how old is he. curiosity is perfectly normal you need to teach him about legalities. and have the talk if you haven’t already. if he’s an older teen you really need to get over the whole omg my spawn is thinking about sex shite. we are animals lmao it’s perfectly natural to think about sex lol
Find some sex positive books and advice online so you can learn how to talk openly with him and educate him to be safe and respectful.
Just tell him “ Don’t be a perv” and leave him alone. Its natural. And that way he knows YOU KNOW. That alone will slow him down.
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Give him his phone back and talk to him about safely watching porn, that it isn’t real and acting, that what he sees in porn DOESN’T translate to how sex should actually look like etc. Educate him
Honestly I’m with all the other moms in here. Give in the phone back. He’s looking up things that are completely normal for kids his age. And quite frankly if you talked to him and was open and honest about sex he wouldn’t do it behind your back. He would be open and honest with you.
This is something very hard for some moms. I struggled with it too. I knew it was natural but it caught me off guard. I didn’t respond as well as I wish I did at first. Then after I thought about it I sat him down & talked to him. I asked him how he would feel about boys or men looking at pictures like that of his sister. I explained that these girls were taught to use their bodies instead of their minds because that pleases men not themselves. I also told him he had to think of everyone involved & make the best decisions in a carrying, empathetic way. If he has any questions to ask me not peers because that’s the best way to get wrong info. Then I probably did the best thing for us both. I left his phone alone. I still checked who he was talking to & such. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want him leered by a beautiful lady. But I didn’t pay so much attention to his pictures & such. Just becareful how much you say. Pick your battles. If he’s putting himself in danger step in. If not then let it go. Kids are smart. They can create secret accounts you can’t retrieve. They can use other people’s devices. Then you have no control if he endangers himself.
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Before cell phones , boys had to rely on “Playboy” magazines.Dont punish him for being human.
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My son is 14 and hes had been looking online for a few weeks i sat him down and talked to him about it and resorted to getting him magazines to help his curiosity without looking at things that could get him in trouble. Its normal and i would rather be straight forward then him hide things from me
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You shouldn’t punish your kid for being curious. You’re just teaching him to be ashamed.
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Talk to him about sex ed. Answer any questions and be understanding and not judgmental. It’s not to early to teach safety and consent
Depends on the age
I think parents letting 15 year olds look at this sort of stuff are crazy
But if we are talking about a young adult who is 17-19 you really should realize it’s normal
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Problem is, kids are getting the wrong idea of sex. Porn isn’t what is use to be and alot of it has become degrading and some even violent. Yes, it’s natural but they need to understand its not reality. I explained to my oldest that if he can’t ask me questions about sex, girls, dating… and anything else, then it’s something that he’s not ready for. Talking about sex with your children should not be embarrassing since its a part of life. I want my kids to be confident and have an understanding of what’s reality and what isn’t. I also want them to know that people are not objects and should not be treated as such.
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How is this any different than boys, sneaking looks at woman in catalogs the underwear section. Or peaking at girls changing. Its life he is growing up. I worry more about what pictures kids are sharing with phones.
Your son let’s his girl friend send a inappropriate picture to his phone, he shares with his buddies. Phone is your name your in possession of x rated pictures of children. Guess who is responsible in a court of law.
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Tell him how you feel, in a grown up way. That you see him turning in a man and that you are proud. Talk to him about dating, about women, about sec and what is important… Have humor and be open… You are human and you don’t need to know everything. You can tell him you are having a hard time having your baby grow up, but that you know and love the fact you are there to witness it… Talk about sex, sexuality, girls, boys,… And look up what you don’t know…
Be thankful he’s looking at women
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Be open with him. Have a conversation. Do not make him feel ashamed of growing up these things are natural, however, the internet is a horrible place. Such terrible things he could into. Have the convo that porn isn’t real sex, and that healthy safe sex is perfectly natural
I enjoy watching my 15 year old turn into a young man. It makes my heart happy! To watch his confidence growing, him trying/ doing new things, just the whole experience is enjoyable to me! Of course I’m sad he isn’t my little boy anymore. But he will always be my baby.
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My son has come back into my care full time and it’s very strange because last when he was with me full time he was so loving and cuddly and affectionate.
Now his not those things ,smart ass to the point of rude till I pull him up on it. And only hug if I get him something it’s hard. I love him very much but where is my son gone, he don’t want cuddle anymore 
I have never kept anything from my Son and he has grown up to be a good hard working Man, they are all curious and they are gonna look.
You’ve got to let him grow up, all teenagers do that, what you got to remember is he will always need his mum
I guess he hasn’t been THAT responsible lol. A phone at 5??!!
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It’s a fact of life, curiosity when hormones are raging is normal, you was a teenager once, did you never look? My advice is, make sure he knows that sometimes what he will see or watch isn’t reality and should treat his future partners with respect, and try to limit himself with viewing otherwise he may get an unhealthy obsession which isn’t good. P.s pick up his socks with gloves on (mum to 3 raging hormonal teen boys)
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It didn’t bother me tbh. As long as it was legal I considered it normal. Saved me coming across porn mags when I changed the beds
I’m just going to say it… I do not believe it is “normal” to be looking at naked women as a child. While it is common, it will not be normalized with my children and I do not think it is ok. He is growing up and there are hormones and curiosity, yes. But still your home, your rules. I would have an honest conversation with him about the truths of women and porn and how to respect others. One day he’ll have a significant other and you are going to have so much influence on how and what he thinks of women, and how he will treat others. Thinking another woman/person is beautiful is normal, admiring another person/woman is normal. Trying to see naked women as a child is inappropriate.
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If he’s had it since he was 5 I guarantee it’s been happening longer than just recently 
He’s a teenage boy, what do you expect?
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Walked in on my beating his meat (16) . He was so embarrassed. I was like look I know you do it. Just wash your hands afterwards. And don’t touch my stuff. The bigger deal you make the more shame they may feel about their body.
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I have 2 son’s 1 is 37 1 is 28. That whole looking at naked women is totally normal, let it be, it’s harmless
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Looking up naked women on the internet is similar to older generations stealing their dads playboys.
We’ve dealt with it too. I explained that the situations in any videos or pictures are not reality. That its fake and he shouldn’t view women as objects. I still catch him once in awhile. But its very normal during puberty.
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My son has had a phone since he was 11. He’s a responsible kid. I sat him down and told him what he can look at. I told I really don’t want you looking at nasty videos but hey I get it…just no kid videos. I explained about what happens with kiddie stuff. After that he said he don’t wanna look now after the pedophile talk.
Idk my kids don’t have access the the internet. And they won’t unless it’s a public computer that’s in our living room. I don’t believe in cell phones till they can buy their own and I’ll only let them have flip phones in my house.
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A ph at kindergarten wtf…
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Well thats normal. Just let him have his private time
It’s normal he’s curious about the other sex. Completely natural and as long as he’s not harming anyone I don’t see the issue
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Depending on what hes looking up and how (illegal stuff or not) and his age give him the phone back and explain to him what porn is so he understands its not a standard on women or men. He will find ways too look without his phone so just make sure its done in a responsible environment
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it depends how old he is when looking up these things. if a teen or pre teen id give the phone back, hes going to feel embarrased enough that you saw what he was looking for over something thats completely natural
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Honestly, this is normal. It’s just more accessible now then it used to be.
Depending on how old he is, have a conversation about it.
I’m guessing he’s probably 11 or older - there’s kids out there having sex at 13.
Talk about it, teach them safety and get him comfortable talking about women and sex with you. Although you may not want to hear it, it’s better than hearing the other side in 4 years time.
Unfortunately I don’t think it’s a matter of when you’re ready. It’s when he starts getting curious, his friends start talking about it and they start realising that they really like that picture of women naked. Same as us girls. For some of us, it happens at 12, others are interested in men until we’re older.
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