I recently found out my boyfriend ended back on Snapchat and was sending nudes to his other kid’s mother. We have a 6month old, and I was wondering what I should do? I want to leave him, but I don’t want to have my daughter without a father. I have also told him if he gets back together with her, then he won’t be able to see the baby unless he is at my house and she isn’t with him. Am I to harsh? Advice, please.
I think it’s time to move on love.
Yep I’d be dipping out you don’t have time for that sis byeeee! You can coparent or have court ordered visitation. A relationship between you and him should have nothing to do with him seeing his child.
First off: Staying with him so ur kid can have a father is worse than having him be a deadbeat!
Second: is the reason you dont want her to see ur kid due to jealously? Or is she a danger to ur child’s welfare?. Using a child as a pawn in a game is never okay! Sounds to me like you need to think of what’s best for ur baby instead of urself.
You cant stay in a relationship just for the baby. You will know without question when its the right time.
Just because u leave him how is she without a father is he gonna abandon her
Don’t stay just for the baby, but also you can’t dictate who your child is around when dad has baby. His baby too. Unless safety issues. Not cool involving children in parents bullshit drama
You’re better off ending the relationship. Staying with him just so your daughter has her father is not right. Y’all won’t be happy and it will affect her even more. But using your child as a weapon and saying he can’t see her unless he agrees to your terms only is low down, selfish, dirty, and hurting your child as well. I hope he gets a court order to go against that asap if y’all do split up.
Girl come on now…leave that man! Know your worth!
You want to leave him that’s fine. But I feel like you are so many levels of wrong as a mother to basically say you’re not allowed to see your child unless it’s in my house. Just sounds like a real insecure and petty thing to do. Children aren’t pawns.
As a child that had parents who stayed together “for us kids” don’t do that please,as far as him only seeing the baby unless he is at your house,unless he takes you to court and court says otherwise,stick to your guns and split up ,learn how to coparent and find figure out a good schedule for y’all both and the child that is healthy ,don’t make decisions out of spite or jealousy or anger.Goodluck.
If you are questioning it, you already know. Peace out, dude
Um. That second part isn’t how custody works.
I think you know the answer to this question. An he as a right to see his kid without you
Leaving him dosnt mean she won’t have a father. You just wont have a spouse
Oh hell no I wouldn’t want her around my kids either
Thats not the only woman he is sending nudes to
I think it’s better to leave now. I think right now your only saying he’s not going to seeing your daughter is because your hurt which you have every right to be, your angry, you want to get back at him, you want to stick it to him and I’m sure after time you’ll feel different. It’s not like you could just forget how he went behind your back and sent the pictures and I think you need sometime to just cool off
I think you need to calm down… an think of who needs to be happy in this situation!! First off YOU then your daughter… you’re stating you don’t want your child to be without a dad but then if he ends up with his ex you’re gonna take her dad away anyways… unless he wants to see her on your terms… sounds pretty messed up to me. I’m really sorry you are going thru this he should have more respect if he truly loves you, but if you don’t feel this can be fixed then you need to walk away an be civil for your child.so that she can have both parents happily! Good luck momma !!
You can leave a man and still let them be a father if they want to be anyway. Don’t be bitter about who he is with after you leave either.
Do what you need to do for you and your future with your child. However, your child’s relationship with their dad has nothing to do with your relationship with the dad. Two separate people.
Girl get the hell over yourself you have no right to tell him who he can and can’t have around his child if you two aren’t together ffs poor kid
Misery loves company! Stay with him and that’s the company you’ll recieve!
First off never stay in an unhappy relationship/marriage just for the kid/s. Staying in an unhappy relationship seeing his or her parents unhappy is hurting them more then anything. Second it is unfair of you to limit when and if your boyfriend gets to see his daughter just because you are mad him because he left you or hurt you.
Your child is not a pawn one. 2 yes you should leave him know your worth. Just because you won’t be together doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a father.
You have to coparent fairly. As long as he is a good father you and dictate who is around your child. Eventually it won’t hurt. These are temporary emotions. But I would def leave him.
Harder to leave when the kid gets older, and there’s attachment, abandoned, child might feel these feelings when she’s older if it doesn’t work out in the long run…
Learn to co-oparent
So what your saying is you want to stay with him for your daughter but if he leaves you he can only see her in your home? No sorry, that’s not how it works.
Your relationship is dead so bury it and tell him to pick up his daughter for a few hours each week. Focus on you and leave him in the past!
Why would you make your child miss out on her dad because your jealous? It’s not even harsh just the whole way of thinking is wrong. Even if it’s not his other kids mom there will always be another girl. So is the only way he can have access to his kid outside of your house is if he stays single?
You should leave. If you stay you’re teaching your daughter to accept this type of shitty man
First things first, just because you’re not with him does not mean he won’t be a father to your child, secondly you both made that baby, you have no right to tell him he won’t be able to see said baby under silly conditions, he’s clearly a pig and you don’t want to end things for the simple fact you don’t want him to go back to his ex, you haven’t even broken up yet and you’re using your daughter as a weapon against her dad, just stop
Definitely leave,but please don’t use your daughter as a pawn
If his other child’s mother wants him and you don’t let her have him. Sounds to me you both already know what type of man he is. Keep in mind your and her child are half siblings and in the long run you and your child can benefit from a relationship with them as long as she’s not doing anything sketchy. It takes time to make the changes and get over it but it doesn’t have to be an ugly thing. Much love.
It’s not doing a kid any good to stay with a man like that.
Let him go, don’t give them the satisfaction!!! Don’t let your personal crap get in the way of your childs and bd relationship unless he’s useless in anyway and yu feel like she’s in danger. You’re in pain, but you obviously deserve better.
Girl, the relationship between you and him needs to be over but regardless of who he is with (unless there is a good reason why and not just because he is with them and not with you and your feelings are hurt) should have nothing to do with him getting his child. Not only does keeping him from your baby hurt him, IT HURTS THE CHILD AS WELL! And that other woman has your child’s sibling so your baby deserves to know it’s sibling! It’s not all about you and your feelings now. As a mother, it is our responsibility to set our own bitter feelings aside for our kids happiness! Their happiness comes before your own!
let him go he is not faithful to you
It’s definitely time to end a relationship when you catch him sending nudes to his ex. As far as the baby goes, if/when he takes you to court, they will determine when/where he can see the baby. Since your child is young, it may just be at your house anyway.
So, first, that’s cheating and if he’s doing that, it’s probably not going to stop. Second, if you decide to leave the relationship, that doesn’t mean that your child won’t have a father, unless he’s a shitty father, at which point it’s better for her to have no father than a shitty father. Third, If he isn’t a shitty father and y’all split and he does get back with his ex, that’s no longer your business and not grounds to not allow him to see or be involved with his daughter. If you keep her away from a father that wants to take care of her just because of who he’s with, that makes you a bitter baby momma. Just because things may not work out with y’all doesn’t mean you have any right to punish him by keeping his child from him. Together or not, the main priority should be that baby!
I’d leave, but realistically a judge wouldn’t allow you to keep your child away from him just bcus he gets back with his ex unless you can prove she’s a danger. Courts wouldn’t be on your side. You definitely deserve better than a partner who does that though.
You leave the man. He may not have had sex with her, but sending nudes is cheating to me and so is having any kind of inappropriate conversations. You leave the cheating asshole. What you don’t do, is keep your daughter from her father out of spite, anger, hatred, etc… that’s not okay and it’s not acceptable. You can be hurt, you have every right to be. But don’t do your daughter a disservice by using her as a pawn to hurt her father. She is a person. She is not an object to used as a weapon to hurt someone else.
If he wants to play those games, then you aren’t selfish! He’s making his bed, he can lie in it. If you wanna end it, girl you do it. If you don’t want her around YOUR baby, then don’t let her around the baby. There’s nothing wrong with saying that woman can’t be around or near your child! Screw them both. I’m sorry but if he’s doing that with his ex, did he ever really move on? And if he wants to act so childish then why should he get to try and be a father?? Why can’t we start justifying that a mother can simply do what is best and the father doesn’t have to be there
Kind of controlling over his life with his daughter don’t you think? She would still have a father if you leave just not in the same place. Don’t stay cause of your daughter it seldom works out. Then she will hear arguing btwn you two? Regardless you will never trust him again. Forward those nude pictures to your phone so you have proof.
Grow up and stop using your child to hurt him.
smh. yea its time to leave and grow up. he has rights and he can date anyone and can havr whomever he wants around her. domt be like my mans bm. thought she.can hold his daughter.against him
now we have full custody anf she is getting a.taste.of her own medicine. we will have his other two.real soon too.
Well, just because you go your separate ways doesn’t mean your child has to go without a father. It’s called co parenting. But in order for that to work, you need to get over your demand on the last part. If said woman treats your daughter with respect, and cares for her, then that’s all that matters. Co parenting will come with compromises and challenges but in the end, it is about the CHILD, period!!! It sounds like if he leaves you for her, YOU will make it where she is missing out on time wit her dad. That’s not cool. Re evaluate your situation. Jealousy is harmful.
Yah just leave him girl & im pretty sure if hes sexting his other kids mother is because they obviously have feelings for one another
Well first off. Idk where you live. But dad’s have rights as well. It isn’t just your baby. Dump him and move on. You can Co parent regardless of the ex being in the picture.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Kick his butt to the curb. Court for visitation rights. If he is doing that now he will do it in the future. A toxic relationship is not healthy for you or your child.
The only thing you’re being selfish about is telling him he cannot see his daughter if he were to be with anyone else. After you have a child, it’s no longer about you and how you feel. Do not use your daughter as a weapon to hurt him because he hurt you. He can still be a father to his daughter after a relationship is ended. You need to do what’s best for her, and that’s to be civil to allow him to be consistently in her life. Healthy Coparenting exist, and there’s nothing wrong with it. There’s not a judge out there will agree with that statement and grant that to you in court. So whatever hurt and hate you have towards him, resolve that on your own with a therapist. Otherwise you’re making things hard for no reason. Some men can be shit at relationships, and still be amazing fathers.
Do NOT threaten a man with his child. Who give af If he wants you or not? That’s his kid and you both ain’t worth shit.
Time to leave him. But also time to realize that your daughter isn’t a pawn. No judge would side with you on this. Just because he and you aren’t together doesn’t mean that his daughter should suffer and not have a father.
I dont understand people with that mind set.
The hell is wrong with you.
It’s all about the kids. Thats it.
Shit I wanted my daughter and her sister to grow up together and know eachother. BECAUSE THEY DESRVE TO. And they live 3 provinces away. Thier dad is pretty useless so I reached out to the other mom and now we best friends and the girls talk all the time.
The fuck, can’t see you kid unless your at my house alone. So what about her sibling then? That’s some BS.
They way I see it, if someone want to be present in my kids life and love her and treat her right who am I to rob her of love. I may not like the person but if they treat my girl right that’s all that matters.my beef isn’t her beef.
Get over yourself.
He should take your ass to family court. You are childish af.
I don’t think you should stay with someone just because of children, kids know more than we realise and sense unhappiness.
Unless your partner’s ex poses a danger to your child (and if this is the case I would have hoped that you and your partner would have attempted to gain custody of his other children and not leave them with someone you consider dangerous) I don’t feel you can say who he can have around the child you share when he is having an access visit.
Please don’t put your (understandable) anger and hurt before your child having a relationship with her dad as long as he is safe for her to be around.
Your what happens in your relationship as a couple has nothing to do with your child’s relationship with their father. If you break up you have no right to say who he can and can not be with or with hold your child from seeing him…unless your child safety is at risk and in that case you should bring it up in court. I mean really how would you feel if he gave you the same ultamatum?
Like everyone above is saying, staying just for the sake of the child doesn’t usually work.
I HATE my baby daddy’s gf. They use to date and have a turbulent/toxic relationship. I don’t stop my son from spending time with his dad.
It’s sucks trust me, I know. BUT it does get better. Leaving he and I’s toxic relationship was the best thing I ever did. I’ve graduated nursing school, met and fell in love with the most amazing man, and have never been happier.
I don’t focus too much on their drama, unless I see it is negatively affecting our son. (Which they see a total of 8 days a month).
I let go of all that negative BS that I clung so hard to, and am now living my best life! Best of luck to you and that baby!
Definitely time to leave. The trust has been broken. He’s not faithful to you and nobody deserves that. But plz dont ever use your child as a pawn. If you have a LEGIT reason to not want the ex around your baby then that’s understandable. But if not then don’t be petty.
The only thing I disagree with in regards to the 2nd part is the wording.
If you’re saying that you don’t want his ex in your house then I have no problems with that whatsoever… but is she a danger to your child?
I understand you wanting to know who’s around your child and I respect that because it’s your right as a parent… but isn’t this where communication and co-parenting come into play?
You’re going to essentially hold him hostage and potentially eliminate his ability to be a father solely because of his partner.
Not your place to dictate the terms of a father-child relationship. That’s just vindictive and petty.
Don’t use your child as a weapon. You do need to end the relationship. You deserve better.
Stab him in the throat
Ew!! Petty baby momma drama. Keep it up, girl and that’s how it’s always Gona be. Grow up, leave that boy, get your shit together and let the father be there for that baby; regardless if he goes back to his ex. Be the better woman!!
If he doesn’t want to be there for that baby, trust me there’s other men out there who will love that baby like his own. Just don’t looking for for him right away because rebounds don’t work.
How do you know when its time to leave? When you feel the need to ask this question.
I felt bad for you till u said u wanted to use ur child as a pawn… They are people not objects to be used.
Another women that thinks she has the right to take a child away from a father based on who he may end up with. Grow up!
It’s not even that ur harsh
It’s illegal to withhold child from him like that if u have a court order and u look petty doing that. She’s not gonna be missing out on her father if he goes back with his ex. U r missing out on a bf. He’s can take u to court and u look bad for withholding child cuz he won’t stay loyal to u. U sound controlling. Super jealous. Ur trying to hold onto a man that refusing to be loyal so it’s a bunch of wasted energy and control is not gonna bring him Back to u. Move on and u will find another man who will never do that to u and u will not have to feel like u have to force him to stay with u. Don’t be that woman who forces her daughter to not have a father or speak negatively about him. Yeah he’s being a jerk and cheating. Parenting is separate from ur relationship with him. Get him for child support. Move on. I’m sorry he’s doing this to u. Better u know now than later and u can still leave him and still have a father for ur daughter.
How to know its time?
His sending nudes to his ex!!!
Now is the time to end it but as for the custody arrangement, don’t make it hard for him to see his child. He still deserves a relationship with his child unless been around him or who he’s with would cause harm to your child. Different circumstances for different situations but its his child as well, dont forget that.
Definitely time to walk away, you wanting a father for your daughter is not worth staying with a “man” who disrespects you as his partner by doing that. You’re better off without him, coparent if you decide to but relationship wise, it’s only the beginning of his cheating.
Parents don’t have to be together. Sounds like you shouldn’t be. But your dreaming of you think you’ll get to make the terms. That’s why there’s family court. They wouldn’t agree to you supervising visits at your house.
He obviously doesn’t respect you and you deserve better.
Your relationship with him has nothing to do with he and his child’s relationship and if he files child support on himself, unless he is dangerous/abusive, he will have rights.
Ok, so please don’t take this the wrong way, but using your child as a pawn is gross… so many of us wish that our children’s fathers were in their lives, ask for supervised visits if that’s what you really want… but honestly, you have no right to dictate who he is with after you, yes the betrayal stings, been there! But you will hurt your child, and they will resent you and hate you For it! Also been there, as I hate my parents for forcing me to pick them or not be loved, ( they still don’t love me and never have) be better for your child! You are their biggest love, their life, BUT one day they will seek him out… and if he is honest about you forcing him out because of another woman, they might actually hate you
If you fuck his dad it will all work out
You want your child to have a father, but if he isn’t happy with you; you have no problem taking said child away from said father?
Instead you’d rather stay in a toxic relationship and have your daughter raised in a household where the both of you aren’t happy? Him with you and you with him? That’s gross.
U don’t ever use ur child as a pawn cos in time they will come to hate u not him cos not only r u going to stop them bonding with there dad but ur going to stop ur child seeing there brother and sister that he as with the other woman ur going to hurt ur child and I don’t think that what u want all cos he got bk with her no man is ever worth hurting ur child over and ur child and there feeling should always come first
I completely understand where your coming from. Truthfully any woman who had a baby 6 months ago hormones are still out of whack. Think with clarity and let your child father be apart of your child life… you cannot control who he resides with unless the woman is a danger to your child. End the relationship. Have a custody agreement. You deserve so much better sweetie. All these other women bashing you is not helpful either. Pay no mind and even if you said what you said or feel how you feel. Everyones emotions can be valid but not right. Do what’s right by your child because that’s what happens when you become a mom. Everything is for your child’s well being.
Not the way things work. You’re just upset, hurt n jealous( which is normal) but u cant withhold your child cuz you’re feeling that way
If he takes you to court for visitation then you’ll get no say on rather or not he gets to see baby or take them anywhere and you can’t stop him. If you leave him be the bigger person and let your child have a relationship with their father
Have a convo with him
Time to take the trash out girl!
Quit being a ass of a parent and refusing to let him see his kid if he is with someone else. The more people to support, love and care for your child the better. As long as she is not hurting or putting your baby in harm what’s the problem?? You aren’t being harsh, you’re being controlling.
It’s time to leave I left my ex because he cheated on me for 3 years. I thought he would change but he didn’t. We have a son together, and I got tired of it came to my senses and left even after he swore he wouldn’t do it again. And he did multiple times. It’s not gonna stop. I left him and coparent with him. I have someone now who treats my son like his own, and we welcomed a new addition just last August. You keeping your child from him is using that baby as a pawn and that’s petty. You don’t want your child to grow up without a father, then don’t. You don’t HAVE to be with him to allow your child a father. You will find someone who treats you right. I did. And he also has someone as well and I don’t keep my son from him because he has a girlfriend. Grow up, leave, and move on.
Girl one thing you need to learn is that even if he does go back to his other baby mama you cannot prevent from him seeing your guys baby. You can act petty all you want but reality is you probably knew the type of man he was before you even laid up with him n had a baby by him cause you said “I recently found out my boyfriend ended BACK on Snapchat & sending nudes to his other kid’s mother” so obviously this IS NOT the first time it’s happened nor will it be the last. Your child’s relationship with the father HAS nothing to do with you in the end n this child will resent you if you forbid the father to see the child cause you want to use that child as a pawn to keep him. Mothers like you are the reason a lot of men decide to step out on their kids because they don’t want to deal with a crazy drama filled b*tch who wants it her way or no way in the end. Yeah he was wrong ,but quite honestly you’re way more wrong than he is saying if he doesn’t stay with you he can’t see his baby. Ain’t no judge going to deny him rights just cause you mad n hurt over him sending xxx pics to his ex. N I hope n pray you ain’t one of those women who end up lying saying this n that happened just cause you petty (sad to say tho I can see u being one of those women)
Do you want your daughter to grow up thinking that this is what relationships are?
Even if you don’t think you deserve more for yourself (you do though) think about what you think your daughter deserves. Teach her that it’s ok to stand up for herself by not accepting less than she deserves. You teach her by showing her.
But absolutely under no circumstances is it ok to keep him from his child and her from him.
You don’t get to keep his child from him…
End it … but don’t be petty and say he can’t see his child if he’s with his ex
Some of your responses are ridiculous… Girlie you will find someone better. Don’t take his child away from him. Kids are meant to grow up with two parents. Like I said you’ll find someone better. Let him have a relationship with his child. You got this. You are strong.
Leave. Whether he’s a dad or not is up to him. Staying wont make him be a parent it will make you continue to be a doormat. Set a better example for your daughter. Also don’t threaten to keep your kid from him because he’s the other parent. You arent in charge because you gave birth. He obviously doesn’t respect you or your relationship so end it and for the sake of the child be civil so she can see her dad and siblings. Don’t be petty or bitter and keep her from them because you’re mad he doesn’t want you. That only hurts your child.
That first line told me it’s time
He lost interest in her and is now with you, he’s then lost interest in you and is sending nudes to her? Honestly, you can do better than this. You’ll see more clearly in a year or so when hormones settle. Just run
I would be pissed. I would leave and take my baby. I understand you not saying your with holding access to your baby but I do agree, baby is still young, if he wants to see baby, he needs to come to you and stay there for the duration of the visit.
Good luck to you
You sound like a child.
Just because you leave him, doesn’t mean your child doesn’t have a father. Just because he moves on, doesn’t make him incapable of being a father. You literally want to use your child as a tool to punish your partner if he moves on… sad.
Your child deserves its father and your child and it’s sibling deserve to know each other as well. Don’t punish those babies just because you guys haven’t grown up. Tf?
With that attitude it’s probably best you don’t stay together, your a blackmailer I hope you try that and he gets full custody
She didn’t say he can’t see the baby… He can, but he has to go to her house and have quality time by himself, not bring whatever woman he’s sending nudes to along with him… Baby is only 6 months old! But yeah, this guy isn’t gonna change or even treat you better and give you the stable family you’re looking for! Leave
Your child can still have a relationship with their father whether you are still together or not. You deserve to be treated with love and respect. Don’t settle for less.
Lmao one lady want to block because I told her she was wrong she tried to threaten me then say imma report u
Leave but definitely don’t use the child as a pawn. Even if you two don’t work out he’s the father and your child shouldn’t have to suffer. Unless you feel that some harm will come to your child.
Get a lawyer to work out a custody arrangement
Leave him. Just because it didn’t work out with you two doesn’t mean he can’t be a father to his child. And you can’t really dictate the details of how visits go between your daughter and him, after all he is her father. Unless you believe your daughter is in danger, you have no reason to make that request, sounds like it’s more out of spite.