Tell him things have to change or you won’t be around, plain and simple. Give him the option to work on it, if he’s not interested in putting in work, that’s your answer.
I think the time is now. How dare he call you lazy when you are raising his children and not long birthed another. He should be enjoying his time with his children and helping you out rather than wanting to get drunk because thats “fun” to him. He can have fun with his kids sober What a sad sad man. Do what you think will make you happier girl lifes to short
Not married anyway. Run
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You have to take a stand. And stick to it. For your sake,as well as the kids.
Similar situation at one point. 3 children, working, juggling everything in between. He was looking for this fun, party girl he dated 10 years prior. It was a sit down conversation. I flat out told him I felt he was looking for someone I was longer, I am a mother now. I have babies to raise and a home to take care of. If he wanted that party I was no longer going to be able to appease that and maybe we should split and he find that somewhere else. He’s been sober 3 years. I once partied like a Rockstar, I loved to go out and dance and be up all night listening to music and hanging out. That’s who I WAS not who I am after 3 children. I’m lucky to get through a work week and be up past 8 these days
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Some of y’all are just rude as all holy hell for no reason.
I’ve been here, honey. The alcoholism with my ex didn’t start until after baby 2. In October, he put me in a chokehold and told me repeatedly to “go to sleep”. That was the final straw… I moved out and moved in with an aunt of mine. It’s not easy-he makes double what I make an hour-but it’s nice having my own space and not having to answer yo someone all the time.
Good luck, Mama. Only you can say when the time is right.
He sounds awful. You are better off single.
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You already know what you need to do… do it for your kids if not for yourself
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Stop questioning it and leave. That’s no safe happy environment for any children. He needs to grow tf up.
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Be safe though… have a safety plan first make sure a few people know about it. Whoever that may be. Verbal abuse is just the beginning unfortunately it leads to worse. Almost always
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Now is the time. Leave. You and those kids deserves better. He doesn’t understand once you have kids, and is breastfeeding there is no fun. No drinking like he does. I hope your parents or someone can take y’all in and help you as you get on your feet for those three beautiful children! Good luck momma!
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That’s so cruel, mean & abusive. Focus on yourself & your babies.
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I’m gonna be honest - I’d take my single motherhood over toxic any day. It’s not good for anyone, especially the kids or you. Single parenthood is not easy, but the peace and independence over fighting and turmoil is priceless once ya get there.
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Tell him flat how how you feel and how he makes you feel. Nobody should expect “love” or a happy partner when all they do is bring the other person down verbally. He puts you in a bad mind set, on top of being a mother to 3 kids, one being 3 months old breast feeding still, postpartum isn’t a joke. Don’t let him take you down to a level that makes it hard mentally on you mama. Set him down and guve him an alternative, either he straightens up and becomes the Spouse and father you and kids deserve or yall separate so you can both be happy. Happy life’s over a toxic relationship.
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Nah, you’re not wrong for feeling this way!! Verbal abuse isn’t okay. Making your partner feel little isn’t okay. If he can’t speak to you with respect and try to fix what’s broken, he’s not worth the trouble!!
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LEAVE.verbal abuse IS NOT OKAY 
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He is stupid and immature. Get rid of him fast.
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For the sake of the kids, get a restraining order. They should have no contact with him. This is bad for them in every way.
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Yep…NEVER, EVER stay for the kids! They relive what they witness!!! Save them from future heartache
I was with my soon to be ex-husband 14 years. He started about two years ago being verbally abusive and drinking a lot. He kept saying he was going to change. Well last June the drinking got the best of him, he was in a car accident, and somebody passed away. I wish I would have left him sooner. My whole world was turned upside down overnight. Here I am working full time, being in debt from him, having my three kids, being a single mom, and having to file bankruptcy. Long story short If I were you I would leave and cut my ties now because he’s most likely not going to change .
He is the one that is boring. Try talking to him and ask why he is treating you like this. Write him a letter explaining your feelings and ask what is going on with him. Tell him about you breastfeeding and can’t drink with him. If this continues and he doesn’t talk to you like an adult and with respect l would definitely consider leaving. Life is too short. One of my best friends died last September from covid. He was 30 years old. His fiance was devastated. Kept putting it off to get married until he got a good job and a place of their own. He was in a terrible accident a year prior. You deserve happiness and so do your children. Make sure you file for child support. He also could be cheating or wants to cheat.
I’ll tell you what… in my experience, it always escalated. After a few years of the drinking and verbal/emotional abuse, it became physical. My advice is to leave. Your children will thank you, and you will be happier. Kids are not a reason to stay, and sometimes staying does more bad than good, no matter how much it hurts to walk away. My heart is with you!
Pump your breast milk in advance and plan to play some games with your husband.
You already know what to do!
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Your husband is a douchebag .
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you know it's time to end a relationship?
Have you talked about this with him? I would address what you are feeling and things like that before making a decision of ending the relationship
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If you are not happy, it is time for you to do you
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Yes, it sounds like the marriage ended long ago
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At least put in the effort. If you talk and try to save this and he still doesn’t return it, THEN move on.
He pretty much has…cut your losses and move on
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Why would you exist like this for 14 years?
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I mean, you’re already doing it all on your own. So…
He’s getting laid somewhere go get laid yourself find someone fall in love then leave him and take everything
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Sounds like the relationship ended awhile ago, have you expressed how you feel?
I would discuss things with him first and if that doesn’t resolve things, you should ask yourself if you want to live out the rest of your life this way and proceed accordingly.
Interesting. He’s got it made… I’m surprised you had to ask.
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Do you want to make it work? It is ultimately up to you to make your decision. If you still have love for him and want to make it work, seek out resources for support and talk to him. If you don’t and you have fallen out of love or just dont desire to be with him anymore, give yourself the time to process this and feel confident in your feelings and decision. People fall out of love, it’s ok. You make your decision and see what his is and go from there
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This is my life to hun, I’m 41 and we have a 2yo, 3yo& 7yo boys and partner is 50, I crave adult conversation and by the time kids are in bed and I’m free his asleep on the couch.
Kick him out. He’s a burden.
Yes move on move out move forwards ok
I’d legit take his Xbox.
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- Talk to him. 2. Have an exit strategy. It sounds like you have been roommates with benefits instead of a couple for entirely too long.
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He is not present in your marriage. He has broken the vows and needs to get out if he can’t participate. Kick him off the team.
14 years is a long time to continue doing this. If he wanted to work on it he would of done ages ago. Time to move on Now dont Waste anymore time
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Kayla Noel Jackson thought this month have some comments that you might find interesting.
Sounds like my relationship except it’s only been 7 years. I think I’m trauma bonded to him(as I’ve read about) I have no advice other than I know exactly how you’re feeling. And I’m so sorry. It’s lonely, it’s miserable. I hope u find peace somehow. Good luck
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Have you spoken to him and try to find out what’s going on? He may have low testosterone.
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I would ask him want to go our separate ways cause I dont feel like we have a relationship and say I’m not happy anymore… So he will know what’s coming.
He only works 5 hours?
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with the sleeping arrangements you might as well call yourself roommates
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Go to a marriage counsellor first
Have a conversation with him about how you feel.
Maybe he feels the same way. You don’t know until you ask.
You both need to work in having a sex life, we all are tired, and we all put sex on the bottom of the list. But If you want one to after him. When he is in the bed, initiate the sex.
But communication is 110% of a good relationship
Good luck
I’d have ended it 14 years ago 
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That’s literally 5 hours of work, lol. He could go to bed at 730 and get 7 hours of sleep, get home, take a 3 hour nap, and be well rested. So… What?! Lol.
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Talk to him, try counseling, figure out dates and spend time together, if you try everything and nothing works then leave. I wouldn’t just walk away without every attempt made first.
Either stop thinking like a whore or go find someone better
Common sense should tell you yeah… so yes, call it quits. You should have done that a long time ago
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Counseling first if not better then leave
Personally I think you have answered your own ques
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If you aren’t happy make plans to leave.he is who he is.its not likely he will change. Life goes by very fast.one day you will wake up and be in your 60 s and thinking dang my life is almost over and I haven’t been happy and enjoying life in many years. You can’t get that time back.
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Sometimes we get so comfortable in relationships and with the surroundings etc that it becomes a routine of everyday life if nobody speaks up everyone assumes there’s nothing wrong or that some changes need to be made my daughters dad would sleep on her couch and it made us drift apart as there’s no love and affection on top of doing everything alone with the kids etc it makes us fall out of love although you will have that love for being the father of your children sometimes we just gotta either save what we have but if the feelings are no longer there then you can go your separate ways respectfully and stay focused on co parenting the kids together
Take him to dr maybe their is something wrong. There are alot of medical issues/meds that can cause probs with that, marriage counciling?? Depression doesnt always present sad. Sometimes diff/uninterested
Are you working outside the home?
Have you tried talking to him at all? If so and this has just continued or gotten worse I would just leave
And I can tell you working from 4 pm till 230 am or until chicken runs out it’s rough ! I sleep all day but I also keep the same schedule 7 days a week abs yes it strains relationships but it has to be worked out
Have you had a serious talk to him about this?
I feel like if you’re asking this question, you’re ready to leave 
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No matter the job literally 5 hours should not make you stay in bed all day and not be social with your family
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Thw moment you ask that question is the moment you know.
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Y’all have already called it quits. You just haven’t said it out loud. You’re in a routine, a habit. Those are hard to break.
On a side note, working 5 hours a day does not constitute sleeping all day and doing nothing around your house/with your spouse and children.
I would sit down with him and have a conversation. Sixteen years is a long time to just throw it away without at least a serious heart to heart. Explain to him how you feel and what you want. If changes come, great. If not, then it’s time to part ways, unless you’re content spending the rest of your life having a roommate instead of a partner.
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You are basically a single mom already. I’d say it is time to go.
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You are important and you need to feel important and appreciated for all that you do. If you’ve brought it up to him and nothing has changed not even a little, then yes it’s time to move on to true happiness. 
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Sounds like a roommate who’s modeling unhealthy behavior and lifestyle for your kids. I would suggest counseling and if he isn’t interested, move on. He sounds depressed or simply not mentally healthy if that’s all he does. And if he doesn’t want to change; you and your kids deserve much better (even if that’s just you and the kids, not someone else!)
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How do you know it time to leave? Well from my experience one day you just wake up and say the hell with this and you leave. I mean that’s how it’s always been on my end. With my marriage of 7 years and then one with my boyfriend of 5 years.
I just woke up and said I’m done
You are already doing it all on your own with the exception of finances, I assume. Deep down you already know the right answer. You AND the kids deserve someone that is going to dote on you and want to spend time with you. The right person would never let months go between being intimate with you because they wouldn’t be able to get enough of you. (with the exception of health issues) Sending you strength and luck.
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How about counseling first, couple AND family… try communicating… You’ve literally said nothing about what you’ve tried to help remedy this…
I’d been gone a long time ago
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When. Each. Gets. Tired of the. Others. Shit
Have you tried talking to him? I’d seek a therapist for yourself, see if they have any suggestions.
Your basically doing everything yourself
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Damn all that and you’re still there? Put your crown on and walk out.
I’m going to be the odd one out here but are you able to hire a sitter, both take time off work and have a date day? That way you can talk and do something fun and reconnect.
You’re roommates at this point from the sounds of it. Try talking to him… but it may be time to move on. Good luck to you
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When you ask people on the internet how they know when it’s a good time to end a relationship
I think it’s time you two took a vacation together and get to know each other again.
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Sounds like your marriage turned to just roommates years ago.
Sounds like you called it quits a long time ago.
Have you actually spoke to him about it? Instead of just calling it quits, have you even tried to make an effort to working it out? 16 years is along time together. Relationship takes communication and effort. If you try to work through things and nothing changes the he’s leave. But I would at least try to work it out before leaving. Relationships don’t last nowadays because no one talks
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Stop wasting your life, you’ve wasted enough!! Seems like your single an have been roommates fir a long time now… If after 16 years he’s not treating you like a partner it’s time to free yourself and let real true genuine and unconditional love find you. 
The fact that this guy works a measly 5 hours a day he literally has zero excuse to not be a super outgoing awesome dad and husband throw that Xbox out with him…
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What does your heart say - go with that
When you have to ask
Yes.
It’s beyond past the time to let this relationship go.
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I wouldnt jump the gun on calling it quits have you and him tried marriage counseling? Or talking to a therapist? Sometimes it just tales opening up and talking to your partner to get that spark back
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For doing work in spare time i maklng $ 500 every day using my mobile. l never th0ught l c0uld d0 that, but my frlend w0uld earn m0re than $ 17,270 a m0nth and persuade me t0 glve lt a try. The p0sslbllltles are endless.
Get your self a.loving life with just you and the kids u deserve better than this.Womens aid are fantastic have u out there in no time, that’s still.abuse what he doing, please doll you deserve better hugs in loves xxxx
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Go with your.gut…sure u will.tgobk am right.x
Yes. It’s already over. You can move on and find happiness for you and your children. Let him lay around the house by himself.
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Have you spoken? Maybe you’re both stuck in a rut, that’s a lot of time to just throw away and these days it’s sadly so easy to do so, there are steps to take to rekindle what you both once had, if you’re both willing to do so x
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He’s already called it quits.
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