How do you know it's time to end a relationship?

You need to work on my your communication. Get help from a mediator. Seriously, your children need both a mommy and a daddy team. Pp kicked my ass and almost destroyed my marriage, it took years for things to get right.

My rule of thumb is if you can walk away, not look back and be glad for them if they find someone new, it might me time to go. If you can’t do these things, maybe try some couples counseling. You have work to do.:heart:

1 Like

Maybe you need to find time for being together again. 3 kids back to back is a long time. Hire a babysitter and make time for date nights and going out. You don’t have to drink to have fun.

He’s mistreating you . And you do not deserve that.

2 Likes

You need to dump the ungrateful ass. Taking care of your children and working full time is definitely enough

there’s only one way to fix this issue, and he has to come to it on his own. Now, the issue is, how long are you willing to wait? Because he may NEVER come to it on his own. If you’re not married leave him. File for child support and court ordered, with a court ordered visitation plan. FOLLOW THROUGH with it. He may still be a drunk waiting for the next woman in 20 years. Do you want to wait for him to clean up his act?

Sounds like you know it’s time :green_heart:

Well you talking care of 3 kids alone and working 40 hours a week and he calling you lazy what kind of a joke is he cause what is he doing . He would be setting alone cause he wouldn’t be putting me down and calling me names and being verbally and mental abusive when I’m taking care of kids and working tell him if he would help so rhinklgs around the house you may be able to do stuff with him .

1 Like

It’s not just your hormones… he’s an asshole.

Yeah is it worth saving alcohol changes ppl but if he’s still being an ass next day I wouldn’t stay but only you can make that choice.

You know when you start asking questions like this

3 Likes

He needs to stop drinking!! Do you think he may be willing to give that a shot? You don’t need to pick up drinking or feel bad or less fun because you don’t. If he is unwilling to x alcohol out of the equation I would seriously consider cutting your losses. You can’t scratch surface issues much less dig deeper with resolving relationship and personal issues with alcohol involved. It’s truly the worst!! How is he with you and the babies sober? Same?

1 Like

It’s time to end it, if you’re questioning if you should end it…

1 Like

Drinking isn’t “fun”. Doing things together is. He has a problem. Run away now ! Trust me I know

1 Like

I was in the same situation and I ended up leaving and I am so much better and happier for it. Chances are it will keep escalating and getting worse.

I’d pack mine and the kids stuff & leave sounds like he needs to step up and help out if he doesn’t then it’s time to GO

My ex was like this. Best decision I ever made was leaving. My now husband is the best partner. I wouldn’t have found him 2 years later if I didn’t leave. He’s out coaching my sons baseball team this morning. Everything is equal and some weeks I’m tired with a 4 month old so he picks up the slack!

3 Likes

I think a little separation time might be worth checking. Is it possible? That’s definitely not faking cool esp you work and take care of them 3 babies 3!!! My 2 drive me crazy and I also work and I would lay it nicely on my husband if he even hints or says anything like that. I have had to put his ass in check but things change slightly as in helping out with the hosue and kids

It’s only goin to get worse. He will cheat cause you are boring. Get out. I done it to long and my self esteem is beat down because of it

4 Likes

i don’t ^^^ know about cheating, but it definitely will get worse, regardless of what’s going on. make plans to get out, or get him to leave; or at least, stop drinking.

1 Like

If you had a daughter in your position what would you tell her? Also do you want your kids thinking the way he treats you is acceptable and how to treat their future spouces? Get him out of your life you and the kids will be better off.

1 Like

He should get off of his lazy drunk ass and help out … sounds like he needs a attitude adjustment … your too damn good for for no good like that ….kick him to the curve

He has a problem and it’s a problem that you may have to take your kids and walk away from.

He may be stressed out about having children back to back, as I’m sure you can be as well. He may not know how to express it in a good way. Maybe hire a sitter, pump for a couple days before and enjoy a cocktail. Or even go to the movies and dinner. If you like beer, enjoy a zero. If you like wine take a bottle of sparkling cider. Most restaurants will charge you to open the bottle if you explain that you are breastfeeding. Or have them make a virgin something

You know what you gotta do, go do it! :heart:

The answer to your question is the third sentence.

That’s when

4 Likes

You know its time when you have to ask.

1 Like

If you have talk to him and told him that his actions are hurting you and he shrugged it off then it’s time for either counseling or to go your separate ways. If you haven’t talk to him about how it’s hurting you I have that conversation but it doesn’t matter what relationship it is if you tell someone your actions are hurting me and they don’t try to remedy reactions that is a sign that that person does not value their relationship with you. 

If you have talk to him and told him that his actions are hurting you and he shrugged it off then it’s time for either counseling or to go your separate ways. If you haven’t talk to him about how it’s hurting you I have that conversation but it doesn’t matter what relationship it is if you tell someone your actions are hurting me and they don’t try to remedy reactions that is a sign that that person does not value their relationship with you. 

You know it’s time when you have to ask others. Good luck!

Trust me when I say it’ll never change and things will only start to get worse as the drinking gets worse, think you’ve answered your own question, yous probably would be happier being apart but being there for the kids, sadly my ex chooses drugs and drink over his kids all the time but you have to draw the line somewhere and do things for your own happiness, always remember your kids feel how you feel. Your feeling on edge all the time the kids are going to be on edge too maybe act up because they are feeling the tension in the air… please do what you feel is going to be the best option for all to be happy.

When you know you’ll know.

You are already doing it on your own,working full time too. What does he bring you that you legitimately need? He is drinking and taking his misery out on you. You know what you need to do, but only you can do it.

3 Likes

please leave him … you and your kids deserve better

1 Like

In my experience , there is always an underlying reason for these sorts of outbursts and changes in behavior.
Your husband may be going through something. Is he handling it properly? Not even a little. He should NOT be lashing out at you like this.

But this is when you make a decision…
You can choose to leave and be 100% valid. Nobody is OWED your putting up with things.
Or you can try to help him get him some help. Counseling for you both, together or just him or just you!
Remember that men are not often able to say “I don’t feel right… I meed help” cause they feel weak for it. Thats society’s fault. But how he chooses to behave in situations is 100% his fault.

Good luck :heart:

1 Like

I had my last kid in 2018, I cannot imagine having 2 more since then, and on top of it all you’re breastfeeding? You are a super mom, you don’t need him dragging you down…. when I was breastfeeding my husband started taking on extra chores around the house like making dinner, every day picking up, laundry… you deserve to be happy, and you kids deserve you to be happy. Do what you need to do to be happy girl :purple_heart:

1 Like

Might try marriage counseling? Talk to your Pastor, Priest or Bishop. You both need help.

It’s time to end the relationship when you’re asking when it’s time to end the relationship.

1 Like

I was in your shoes. Very very similar I use to say all the time I would be better off single. Found him cheating. I finally told him I had enough. I wouldn’t say this is what you should do but it was a great decision for me. The kids handled the separation better than I expected. I don’t feel so much anxiety anymore. I actually have a better relationship with my kids. It hurt at first to be honest. But slowly I get better and I feel better standing on my own without expecting help.

Get rid of him, you deserve better x

I’m a grandmother I watch my grandson it’s harder than when I worked-he’s being abusive if one of your kids is boy he’ll learn that’s okay to treat women like his father and if girls she’ll learn that’s how men treat women. Also, my lil sis had an abusive drinking/drugs spouse I was so happy to slap him with restraining order 20 some years ago! Please consider leaving :blossom: love and hugs from Batesville IN

Tell him to go to counseling or something or you are gone. He needs to understand how hard it is to birth children especially more than one or back to back! Its hard to be a mom and work full time

2 Likes

If you have to ask when it’s time, that’s when you know it’s time. It seems as if your doing it alone as is, but having an extra man child causing problems.

1 Like

That’s a rollercoaster no one can stay on for long. Especially with kids.

Hate to break it to you, but your husband is turning into a drunken loser. Tell him to shape up or ship out. Three children for child support and spousal payments in a divorce will make his life a living hell, much like life your life is right now. He won’t be able to afford to buy alcohol. Karma is a bitch, and you have the upper hand​:muscle::facepunch:

I wouldnt give up that easily, sit down and explain how upset you are. Ask him to set up a surprise date (no drink involved) go kayaking some sort of activity. Then the next date u organise. Having a 3month old is hard :kissing_heart: xx

I think he is jealous u dont have much time for him . Men are big babies, lol

3 Likes

You are by far lazy !!!

1 Like

If your asking then you already know

3 Likes

It dosent get better. Leave now while u can. U will be much happier in future. Iv been single now with 2 kids for nearly 6 years. Yes it’s hard but it would have been harder if I stayed in the situation I was in.

2 Likes

Oh honey! Gah! It’s like you’re talking about my experience with my ex husband. I’m telling you right now……It’s.Time.To.Leave.That.Relationship!

Now.

Verbal, emotional abuse is no fucking joke. It will chip away at your spirit, your self esteem, your dignity.

He is an immature adolescent that has no business being a husband.

You need to straighten your crown girl. Nobody talks to you like that and gets to stay in your space. And you teach your children what it means and what it looks like to stand up for yourself and love yourself and how to make healthy choices for yourself! Your children will see what self care and dignity look like and maybe one day you can show them a healthy relationship.

But staying in a situation like that is only going to get worse.

Run don’t walk to the nearest shelter for Women, He is not for you.It will get worst.

3 Likes

He needs to stop drinking and get on board being a family man. If he can’t do that say bye :kissing_heart:

3 Likes

Awe… try and hang in there. Video tape him when he’s being an ass and show him next day sober. Something is making him drink. Find out what. Sometimes people do not know until you show them.

Try seeking counseling for both of you also ask him why he feels the need to call you lazy if counseling isn’t an option then leave him because its only going to get worse

My advice move out before he starts hitting you

3 Likes

Sounds like life has wedged its way in …y’all need to take a night out to y’all’s selves and committ to be in good spirits and discuss not attack each other and see what the root cause is …marriage is hard but nothing is beyond fixable if it hasn’t gonna too far …try to reason under good non stressful times and speak your feelings …also pray about it …bring God into it …let his light shine and help bring y’all through bad times …if y’all are unable to meet and come to better terms then you have to take other steps …I pray either way for your family through this rough time

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. He sounds verbally abusive and you need to leave him or kick him out. He should be helping you with the kids and house. If he cannot appreciate the fact that you aren’t drinking with him for the sake of HIS child’s health then both you and the kid deserve better! Best of luck!

3 Likes

I would cut him loose when you can.

1 Like

You know what’s in your heart. Things are supposed to change as you are both parenting and being partners. You can try counseling and see if that helps but if he’s drinking too much and acting like he’s single ( not helping around the house or doing any child care) then you may as well w single too.

1 Like

Wow. My ex pulled the same line. You used to be “fun”. Alcoholic as well. Started not coming home, provoking my anger and then would gaslight me saying I shouldn’t “tell him what to do” or you’re such an “angry bitch” or " I feel like your “taking me for a ride”. Meanwhile I had just had our second child, did everything around the house including cutting the lawn, washing the vehicles and garbages/recycling plus worked part time while he decreased his hours at work (as a bartender🤣) and began to not come home after his shift because he had a few extra to drink and wanted time with his “friends”. Playing off of my love and concern for him while exploiting me and the kids. Of course at this point he was having an affair or 2. Even came home with a new 40 thousand dollar vehicle and purchased his sister and child a trip to Maui without even consulting with me about it! Took at trip on credit card with the mistress too! Fucking useless loser. Get out now. It will be hard, he will do what he can to hurt you - mine even used the police and the family legal system- but do it anyways. Swindler extraordinaire!

Im 6 weeks out and im a wreck. Im moody im irritable its awful. In the first sentence or two i already knew. Its abuse and its not ok. The kids are gonna learn that behavior weather they do it or tolerate it in the future. I agree 1 happy parent is better than two miserable ones.

1 Like

It gets better if you both want it. Try counseling. If you don’t think it will work, leave. Prayers

2 Likes

Its not for me to say if its time but for him to call you lazy is very selfish considering you are taking care of your children and working 40 hrs a wk.

1 Like

He definitely shouldn’t be calling you names or acting that way! Maybe bring up counseling and give him an ultimatum it’s counseling or you’re leaving.

1 Like

your children will behave the way they see him treating you…kick his ass out!!

Gently find out what’s bothering him. 3 kids is a 24/7 job. Is there financial stress? He may be feeling the weight of that responsibility. Drinking numbs the pain, but the problem is there the next day. Do you have a spiritual practice? Go to church together? I would try to make it work. Divorce brings out the worst in people. If you really love him, find out what’s wrong and ask how you can help. Some people have a very hard time asking for help. (Do not accept physical abuse. Get out and report it.)

Omg kick his insulting jackass ass to the curb. You work full time and are the primary caregiver for three kids, including a baby. And he called you lazy??? Girl… There’s no apology big enough. Get your finances together. Make your arrangements. Then leave his ass while he’s not home. Or better yet, he can move…why should you have to. Screw that. Put all his crap outside and change the locks and when he gets home he can see all the work you did throwing him out. I doubt he will ever call you lazy again.

Sounds like he’s the one with a problem

2 Likes

Sadly they say that when a person is drunk is when they’re the honest.

1 Like

Girl I don’t think you can blame how you feel on PP depression. Nobody would be happy in your shoes. I think counseling would be a great idea . You can also sit and have a talk with him and before the conversation tell him you don’t want yelling and anger and that you’re trying to communicate and make effort in your relationship. Be straight up and tell him he is being shitty and it’s making you want to separate, so he can either listen to what you have to say or you can continue the steps that need to be taken to separate . Good luck !

Dump the man child!!! Life is way too short to be miserable. The kids would be happier seeing you happy. You definitely don’t deserve the bs he’s giving you.

5 Likes

I think it’s time to suggest counsellor or take walk away from him.He’s showing no respect or consideration towards you

Been there done that being drunk and being verbally abusive is worse than being hit… I kicked him out and bever looked back…do it before it affects the kids

4 Likes

Personally, I think we need to spread awareness on men’s PPD. You hear these stories too often, us women are expected to have PPD so nobody cares and overlooks us because we continue on and keep doing what we are supposed to do… Men can’t handle it and lose their minds, they should be forced to go to therapy and educated further on what all of us women go through because they are mostly selfish animals.

6 Likes

He needs to realize your tired . you work and take care of kids. Hows that translate to lazy? Yeah lifes not a big party anymore and the kids are more important. Id have a long talk and explain he either understands that or your done.

1 Like

Leave the kids with him for a week so he can be full-time parent. If nothing changes after that cut him loose

3 Likes

Yes leave, your already doing it on your own

2 Likes

Run don’t walk. Get your tubes tied.

3 Likes

Whatever is the healthiest for your children you don’t want them to see you being verbally abused

4 Likes

Leave a man who loves you does NOT SPEAK THAT WAY 2 U NO MATTER WHAT u are better off alone and your kids won’t grow up THINKING ITS OK TO ACT THAT WAY

4 Likes

When you make the question

1 Like

How’s a good time to end it!

2 Likes

I am making these days easily more than $500 per day for doing work online. i got my 3rd payment last month of $16765. i was surprised when one of my close friend told me she was making $17463 per month but now i see how it works.
:point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down:
https://boomcashjobs24.neocities.org/

1 Like

I lived like that for years. If I had to do it all over again, I would wait till he’s sober and insist that he quit drinking because you cannot live like that anymore. Men don’t seem to notice that a Mommy devotes her time and energy to a baby, but that the baby will get older and the kids will grow up. So right now your time and attention is raising kids. Tell him you didn’t make 3 children all by yourself and he needs to quit feeling sorry for himself and MAN UP.

5 Likes

I too have been in a situation like yours and i stayed way too long. Fortunately we had no children. What i learned from the situation was that it only got worse instead of better. People afflicted with the disease of alcoholism degenerate as time passes and the only solution is for them to get help. They cannot do it themselves because alcoholism is the only disease that tells a person that they don’t have a disease. I also know this from personal experience. Right now he is in denial. It’s going to take him hitting bottom to shake him loose from that denial and it usually takes a long time. You and the children don’t have that time to waste. Also, his toxic verbal abuse is not only affecting you but also your children. Their mental and emotional health must come before him. You’re going to have to leave eventually, so i hope and pray that you’ll do it at the first opportunity to give your children the best chance of not turning out like their father. Children that grow up watching abuse turn into abusers themselves. It’s programmed into them. I know this as a fact from my own life experience and also from watching others during my 70 years on this earth.
I whole heartedly wish you strength and courage to do the right thing. Furthur down your life’s road you will be very grateful that you did and you can be very proud of yourself, as will your children.

Nothing beats getting physically and verbally abused for wearing pj’s or a night gown to bed, then not wearing them and again getting physically and verbally abused for not putting them on before picking up a crying baby, then pausing to get a crying baby so you can be wearing clothing to pick up the child and being physically and verbally abused too all over again. Not to mention you try to pick a time of day when the baby is sleeping and he is not drunk to ask him what you can do to keep him happy about that and again you are phyically and verbally abused. Having been brought up that you are married until death do you part you try to make the most of it and end up breaking up anyhow!

2 Likes

Stuck around and have three more back to back. Wonder how he will treat you then?

1 Like

Mine says the same shit about me. I lost my mom in December, so I’m already terribly depressed. I quit my job because I could t fave people. We live in the smallest town. Everywhere I go someone brings it up. I hate it. Like, I’m just trying to get gas. Please don’t talk to me. So, I started babysitting. I love kids and the ones I got are awesome. I have them some days 6am-8pm. By the time they go home, I want to sleep. I’m. Ot showering regularly even. But, im.doing better then I should. When he calls me lazy, it hurts my feelings to the core. Cause I try so hard… I think we can both agree it’s not nice has he ever said “hey, I got this, if you neednto go for a drive or see a friend?” Because it’s a bo from here. He gets to do as he wants. I still pay every bill. So that’s why he left on the 1st. And I’m honestly even sadder. But, I realize that it’s not a good time doing everything alone. Might as well be alone and build my legacy back up. You know? If you ever need to vent my inbox is open. Don’t let him make you feel small when to your baby’s your the biggest thing in this world.

UR IN A REAL “PICKLE”, Lady…

1 Like

Why subject the children to alcoholism. Joining him m makes things worse. You and your children d serve better. He goes into rehab and stops or you find a better life

Tell him to go Fuck him self…:slight_smile:

You answered your own question :two_hearts:

Dump his self centered, cruel, narcissistic, drunken ass … You deserve better … 3 kids …a 3 month old baby and working a 40hr week … You are not lazy … He is an Ahole

How can you have three baby back to back with a drunk? Sounds like my sister.

1 Like

Babe. Hand those kiddos off and go have some fun alone. Make him realize what it’s like to be boring and stuck watching kids. Your man should not be putting you down for taking care of his kids. I would definitely be jumping off that bus unless he is some huge help around the household.

1 Like

Tell him things have to change or you won’t be around, plain and simple. Give him the option to work on it, if he’s not interested in putting in work, that’s your answer.

I think the time is now. How dare he call you lazy when you are raising his children and not long birthed another. He should be enjoying his time with his children and helping you out rather than wanting to get drunk because thats “fun” to him. He can have fun with his kids sober What a sad sad man. Do what you think will make you happier girl lifes to short

Not married anyway. Run

3 Likes

You have to take a stand. And stick to it. For your sake,as well as the kids.