You should of called it quites a lo g time ago…guess joke is on you for allowing him to controll where you go whay you do who you spend time with…kid’s deserve to see and hear love between their parent’s.
l’d be ending this …fact is also that he’s been happy doing this 14 years! …why should YOU have to fix it.Seems like hes just a lodger. The only waking hours playing Xbox??? my goodness 14 years! …he’s not even bringing in a full weeks wages.Others would go get a second job. Get out of there hun!
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If you have to ask, it’s already over!
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I suggest he either change shifts at his current job, or get a new job and the two of you need marriage counseling.
Have you talked to him?
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I can’t believe people would say counseling. You’ve already wasted so much time w a roommate. Leave…get out there and find a real relationship w passion and fun before you’re too old to enjoy it.
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Wasted 22 years in the same sinario. That’s not love. Either talk to him and work on it to save it or end it and find the happiness you both deserve with someone else.
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Ask your self if you are better with him or without him
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I’m curious why you think you should stay? You’ve taught your kids this is how marriage works. 
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That’s 5 hours that’s not a full 8 hour shift hes lazy. Time to say listen up bud eaither step up or step out.
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That is a long time to be together, sad, but maybe you should try to be apart. I mean, you can always rekindle someday. But be happy. If you love him, you probably think he deserves to be happy to.
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I couldn’t live that way, to be honest. If talking to him didn’t change anything, it would be over for me. Everyone deserves to be happy and feel loved.
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Some marriages go through phases. I can attest. have you talked to him about it? Love and patience with each other goes a long way…
It’s over move in. He’s lazy!
Make a doctor’s appointment for him. He may be having medical problems and he doesn’t know what to do. Have you talked to him about it??
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Think you’ve answered your own question
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if you can afford it leave - you are not in a good relationship with him.
Maybe try marriage counseling! Try telling him how you feel. I hope things get better. My marriage I’m trying to make better too.
Girlfriend he’s all but said he’s just not into you anymore…
Sooooo leave his sorry ass and don’t even look back…Life’s to short to be treated like this…!!
You’re obviously already over been for a while just make the next step
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you know it's time to end a relationship?
It will hurt his feelings the longer it goes on, set that man free and worry about your life
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What makes you think the ex still wants you?
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Its always a golden rule not to date for a full year as you grow out of your old life and descover you again without him. If you move on too quickly, its not fair to you and to the other person you date because you are so use to your old life. Be single for a year. When you are ready to date again…the best relationship will be ready to handle anything…because you know who you are without him.
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You share a child together you will always have that connection. Maybe you did move on too quickly but maybe you should also still not be with the father. You ended things for a reason. Ask yourself what were they. But make sure you known with out a doubt in your heart 100% positive before getting back together because your child is just going to see their parents splitting up getting back together fighting splitting up getting back together…
It’s hard to work out your feelings and getting them confused is very easy. You having a connection may just mean you have that connection maybe the guy your with now is “the one” but you don’t know how to sort or separate your feelings out and think the connection is because you’re still in love with the father… know what I’m sayin
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Youve answered your own question sweet. Do what makes you happy xx
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Just keep in mind there was a REASON y’all split offer so long. Don’t let old feelings ruin something good.
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Well if you think that leave the new man’s alone so he can find someone loyal your already got doubts why waste time as well
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If you’re having feelings for someone else, ex or not, you need to be fair to the other person and cut ties while you sort out your feelings for the other person. How would you feel if the shoes were on the other foot?
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Don’t confuse a past with someone, a connection… don’t confuse that with love. Trust me. You’ll always have a connection with him because of your past .
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Leave and spare the guy
I would suggest ending that new relationship as it’s not fair to the other guy. Be alone for awhile. If reconciliation with your child’s father is meant to be, it will happen. If not, there’s always civil and cordial co-parenting which is such a gift to your child.
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The longer you stay in the relationship the more you will hurt your current partner and may end up resenting him it’s not fair to him to be with someone whose heart isn’t solely in the relationship. You need to work out what you want
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You may have gotten with someone else before you healed up from the break up with the kids dad. You will always have a connection since you have kids together. But there’s a reason it didn’t work out. Also, he may not want to try again. If you’ve decided not to be with this new man, let him go. But don’t expect things to go back to the way they were.
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Try being alone first, maybe you need to just figure shit out.
Do you miss him or the life you had? Kids, man and house
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Does he want you back, is a good question.
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You answered your own question. You will always have some sort of connection with the child’s father because you share a child. You obviously split up with your ex for a reason. But, it isn’t fair to your new man. Maybe you should just be single for awhile.
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I think you just answered your own question. Even if you cant be with your childrens father, its not fair to your boyfriends
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It could be just feelings are mixed up. You were with the kids dad for so long you’ve built a deep connection, had a family etc. But you guys have now split up and thats a new feeling. so now you need to grieve the loss of the relationship as any break up would hurt its just gonna take longer to get over caz you were together so long. Yes your gonna go through all the ups and downs but you can power through them. Focus on the new relationship and after 8 months or so if u still feel the same way then maybe have a talk with your ex about getting back together? And before you go hurting your current also ask your ex how he feels about it? He may not feel the same way. Or he may…
You definitely need to be honest and end the relationship or else honestly your just a b****
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You’re already wasting his time by dwelling on the past and he deserves to be happy as well, so let him go find someone who appreciates him 
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You should let the new guy go definitely! However, I would assume you spit with your ex for a reason!
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Ok but do your child father sill wants to be with you?? Think before you take action, and there was a reason you guys split in the first place .
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Girl, omg it’s so hard to stop loving someone once you fall in love. Especially when y’all share a child together. I’ve been trying to move on for months but I can’t find anyone that makes me feel the way he did. So I think you need to cut it off with your current boyfriend. It’s not fair to him that you’re still in love with your ex. After that I’d just see what happens with your ex. If y’all don’t get back together you need to wait till you heal completely.
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I’ve always believed that if you ever have to ask a question like this, you already know your answer. You need to let your current relationship go. It’s not fair to him to not be all in, especially when your heart is wandering.
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Sometimes u don’t realize what u had until its gone and this is facts and she’s experiencing it and maybe realizing the reason they separating was stupid as they are figuring life in other ways only they know how they truly feel
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Then break up with your boyfriend and work on yourself and possibly getting back with kids father.
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Be alone. The new bf doesn’t need to be wasting his time with someone who isn’t sure about their feelings. Coming from experience, it’s hurtful and selfish to use someone to fill a hole. You can’t love the new guy when you’re still in love with your former partner. You need to work on that area first. Spend time being single and work on yourself.
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You left for a reason.
Tell your current boyfriend the truth!
This is why i didnt take shit seriously when i split from mine
Does he wanna work on being with you? How does he feel about it? What was the reason you broke up? There’s so many questions to be answered. Just separate from your current man cuz it’s not fair to him you are still having feelings for your ex. Work on yourself and hopefully your family can get back together.
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You may still love him and want to be with him but does he feel the same? I have always told myself when my relationship ended after 8 years that if I was to grow feelings for someone else and commit to a new relationship I knew it was over! Well I did get in a new relationship it was hard and rocky at first but we have been together 6 years now and I am so happy I did not go back! I’m happy and what I have now is so much more then I had with my ex child and all!
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For the kids I would say try to make the family work if both of you are on the same page
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This just happened to me. My ex just broke up with me to re try with his daughters mom. Either way someone is gonna hurt. I dont have advice, just know either way there is grief and time will be needed to heal
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Sometimes we have to accept we are always gonna love some people. That doesnt make us good together. It has taken me over 3 years of separation from my daughters father to accept and can always love him but cant be with him.
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Make sure if you take him back that he can forgive you completely or you will have it thrown in your face rest of your life !!!
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Does he still wanna be with you? It won’t be fair to the new one to remain with him while you still live your baby daddy. Also baby daddy may have moved on from you so while deciding throw in being single until you’ve worked out your feelings as an option.
Does he feel the same? I would tell your current boyfriend the truth and then talk with your ex. Don’t be upset if he doesn’t feel the same towards you though
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You need to leave your current bf and just be single for a while.
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Be honest with him DON’T play with his feelings
Follow your intuition
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I’d never lose my current relationship/partner for someone in my past… Child’s father or not. We broke up for a reason. If you have feelings for your ex you should tell your current partner and let him go find happiness because I’d hate to be him… if someone was torn between me and someone else I hope they would choose someone else… 
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Honesty is the best policy! But also on another note… your ex may not feel the same so don’t stay will your current boyfriend if or because your ex doesn’t want to get back together… no one wants to be second pick just because!!!
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My kids are 29-33 now but when I was with there dad I left him when my kids were 14 , 16, 18 thought I loved him dated another guy didn’t wanna hurt him but thought I still wanted there dad NOPE I DIDN’T. MEANT ANOTHER GUY BEEN WITH HIM 15 YEARS BEST CHOICE I EVER MADE IM IN A MUCH BETTER PLACE NOW THEN I EVER WAS
WAS SINGLE FOR 11/2 YEARS.
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You need to break up with your boyfriend like yesterday. Poor guy.
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Best thing is to be honest and tell him. Not saying anything to him will hurt him in the long run
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Sometimes, being alone and healing and growing as a person is really the best thing you can do for yourself and for your children. Until you are happy and content within yourself without seeking validation, approval and love from outside yourself, you will never be satisfied in any of your relationships. It’s also better for your kids to see you secure and stable by yourself instead of bouncing from partner to partner. I think you should be alone until you discover who you really are and what you really want.
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Stop being with the new boyfriend because it’s not fair to him if you still got feelings for your childrens father. He deserves someone who will love him and only him and not someone else. So maybe it’s time to sit down have a talk with your current boyfriend explain how you feeling then also tell your childrens father. There’s a reason y’all broke up so. And whether you want to or not your current boyfriends feelings will be hurt because he’s invested his time and energy and attention into you and your children.
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We throw away our relationships instead of working on them. Does he still love you?
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Leave the current one because if you aren’t in love with him then he deserves better. I’d stay single awhile. If you still feel the same AND the kids father also feels the same then maybe start over and begin going on dates again. I wouldn’t rush right back into anything with him.
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A
Talk to your ex first…see how he feels…then follow your heart…
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When you no longer feel it’s healthy walk away. And stay away. Working on yourself first is most important. Once you do that you may see why you stayed to begin with and not feel the pull back to what was comfortable but perhaps unhealthy. No one can tell you when that time is, once you work on you, you’ll know. 
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There are reasons you broke up…reexamine those before you revisit what could have been.
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Break up with your boyfriend and give yourself time, you shouldn’t jump right into another relationship
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Think you answered your own question here
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I did the same thing but my children’s father after ,6 yrs I left for almost a year dealt with someone else for part of that time and got back together with my kids father we had another child and it’s 18 yr now we have 14 & 7 yr boys and I honestly think I should had took a couple to a few yrs just to myself.i don’t mean that in a bad way I mean that in a way that I should have just focused on myself and found out who I am and get totally independent. I think everyone should take two to 3 yrs after a long relationship to just decompress and be able to evaluate vit from a clear mind.
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EVEN if you don’t end up with your children’s father, ending a decade relationship requires that you take at least a year to yourself, date yourself, treat yourself, sort out in your mind, heart and soul what you want out of a relationship, get to know yourself and be ok with being alone and getting comfortable with that before you enter into anything serious with anyone else. Therapy with the right therapist can be immensely helpful.
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Sounds like you need time to do just you time
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Do you know if the children’s father feels the same way about you? Do he have a new partner? You may feel that way and he may not.
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I personally don’t think it’s right to upset someone else’s life because you moved on to fast. If you chose to go back. Please make sure he’s available.
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People move in way to soon, Don’t be in such a hurry wait, give your self and your ex time to settle down with there emotions and grief that comes with a break up.
Let us know what you decide to do
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Bigger question, would he still want to be with you?
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But the question is dose children’s father still wanna be with you
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Your need to go to counseling for yourself
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Does he feel the same way? Sometimes we get lost just to find our way home. Good luck 
.
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I guess you have to ask . Why did you guys split ??
Are those issue/s handles, resolved??. Has he moved on ? Then you’d have to just talk . And I get you miss him but you have to think about the bigger picture. We’re you guys toxic together is it going to be the best thing for the children.
Don’t make any rash decisions until you truly take time to figure these things out including what’s going on in your head. Is it that you miss him or what you guys had … so many things to consider.
I do wish you the best hun
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When your posting about it Lol
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I think you should leave your current relationship and then focus on yourself. If you happen to rekindle with the ex down the road fine, but that was a long relationship and you may just be missing things from the relationship that you don’t have with the current partner. It may not be actually him that you miss.
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Your current bf really needs to leave you i be dang if i’d be with someone that has feelings for someone else… if you can’t put your all into me then i don’t want ya! He deserves to find someone that will love him and just him … smh!
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What does the dad want?
That’s a normal stage of breaking up. If he did something that made you leave before don’t go back. But if you feel you moved on too soon tell your bf that. Maybe you can tall in the future when your ready