Why are you together? You don’t do anything together. You both just work. Two ships that sail in the night. And to boot he’s useless really. He contributes nothing to the marriage.
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Sounds like you do it on your own anyways.
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Personally I would leave and move closer to my job. I don’t see how you get to spend any time with your children, but that is me. I would stop doing everything for him. He can make his own lunch, do his own laundry etc. Sounds like a boy in a man’s body 
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Tell him that you are so exhausted that you think it’s time you quit work and just stayed home and looked after everyone. He will have to work enough hours to make up the shortfall. Otherwise he will have to pitch in at home. Watch him sweat
On a side note, can you cut down your hours? Everyone needs balance.
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When you no longer have the urge to fix it and when the lies out weight the truth, when your the only one putting in the effort time to close that chapter.
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When you start asking that question
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Don’t make his lunch and tell him,not ask him,tell him what his chores and duties are and when.Leave it at that if he’s not willing to be a grown man then leave
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When you give up trying to make it happen or they’ve had enough chances to change for the better.
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Tell him to step up,that sort of living is ment to be shared,it’s not healthy at all goodluck,K.D.
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Sounds like you be better on you own
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TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE - YOU’RE TIRED AND FEEL UNAPPRECIATED! IF YOU NO LONGER HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM AND HAVE TRIED TALKING WITH HIM &COUNSELING, IT’S TIME TO TELL HIM NOT ASK (since he didn’t ask about taking that long distance job), TO MOVE OUT CLOSER TO HIS JOB!!! WHY WOULD YOU BE THE ONE TO MOVE??? GOOD LUCK.
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Get rid of him. He is inconsiderate and doesn’t deserve you.
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Maybe u should take time to set down and talk to him about how u feel ,it may help.
Time for another separation. He can do for himself for awhile
If whatever work youre doing with your individual therapist isn’t working then leave
I’m in a very similar situation. I love my husband. I’m not in love anymore and definitely have a ton of resentment. Him and I have decided to separate for various reasons. But the main one for me was simply choosing me for once. I’m always so concerned about his feelings and what he would do if we weren’t together anymore. I want worried about what this marriage was doing to me. Sometimes it is ok to realize that you and him aren’t meant to continue. He is not able to do his part to keep this marriage in a state of peace. It will take a toll on your health in a very serious way if you stay. Plus, with children involved it is t fair to let this go so far that you and him can’t be at least civil for your babies.
If you have to ask that question 
Then I think you already know the answer,Bye,bye Felicia.jmo.
I’m sorry you are so unhappy and that your husband doesn’t understand you but have you let him know all of this ?communication is a problem for both of you so maybe have a really honest talk to him and let him know how unhappy and exhausted you are if he listens – he will act and try harder to help you good luck 
I wouldn’t do anything for him…
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you know it's time to end a relationship?
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Try marriage counseling first.
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Marriage counseling first.
And start dating each other again.
Once married couples tend to put their relationship on the back burner, and they forget to date one another. Put the relationship first.
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Why trade one devil that you know for another devil you don’t
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You just answered yourself: “I know I am not happy”
If he’s a narcissist you should get out before you’re with him too long. It only gets worse.
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Never stay married for the kids. Try to find a way to stay together but the kids are hurting because of the fighting.
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If you are asking, it’s time…
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If the bad outweighs the good. I struggled with this too but I couldn’t stay somewhere where when he left for work I was my happiest. In my personal opinion, someone that loves you won’t say those hurtful and mean things to you. You don’t have to stay anywhere because of your kids. You owe your kids a happy mom. You owe them safety and well-being. You don’t owe them staying in a marriage you aren’t happy in.
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Don’t stay just because of you’re kids
Do what you’re heart is telling you to do how you feel .
Do what’s best for you .
Things will just get worse usually . And kids don’t need to hear parents saying stuff to each other that’s not nice
If you are not happy leave
Is that relationship you would want your son/daughter to be in?
You are teaching them what love is. If you’re not happy and it gets that bad, leave.
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I saw a statistic one time that a large number of marriages can be saved if one or both partners are committed to saving it. The key is to catch it before its too far gone. It’s not good for the children to see you and your spouse saying bad things to each other or about each other. Try to remember why you fell in love and try counseling. Someone else said it, you need to date one another.
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When your not happy anymore
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Sounds like you both need to work on yourselves for a bit and when both of your therapists agree you are ready then it’s time to work on the marriage. Or go and start learning how to be better communicators that don’t lash out.
You’ll want to get this under control for yourself so you don’t slip and do this to your kids.
Well, you’re questioning it so maybe some deep soul searching and prayer/meditation is called for.
You don’t stay because of children. Being in a toxic household is traumatic for children. Your children can feel the tension in the household. It’s not fair to children to stay in a home that’s toxic.
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Asking that question…
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Get counseling! Let your children see you work on your marriage and see that marriage is work and it’s not something to throw away just because it got hard.
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Kids aren’t stupid. They love him when times are good, but they probably love him a little less each time he says harsh things to you. I can’t know the dynamic between you-what brought you together or what is now tearing you apart… I only know you shouldn’t let it go on too long because living with that kind of tension isn’t good for anyone. You don’t sound to me like you want to stay. Never stay just for the kids. If things get really bad, they’ll be more scarred by that than they will the break up. Good luck.
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When you ask strangers on social media the question
Your raising your children to think bad behavior is ok to live with. They tend to see and hear more than you think.
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Do what is best for you and they will follow.
One thing I learned is ur not HAPPY don’t stay becuz of ur kids…itll only cause prblms later n make ur kids life worse
When you have to ask this question
Dont stay just for the kids. Your happiness matters and stop looking at how long you were with someone. That doesnt matter! Would you want to spend another 2 yrs in that situation?
Don’t ever stay for your kids.
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You need to actually sit down and communicate with each other about how you feel and how do we fix this…and is it worth fixing…maybe you rushed into this marriage without actually really knowing each other or you are incompatible as partners…
Maybe therapy and marriage counselling you can suggest
But fighting isnt good for any relationship so deal with the problems with each other and try to solve before you decide to leave…unless its unsolvable
But you never stay for the kids you stay because you love each other
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When you have to ask you already know the answer…
Don’t stay just for the sake of the kids
Better they come from a broken home
Then an Unhappy home
You really want your kids in a toxic environment?
When you’re asking if it’s time to end things, it’s time.
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Try counseling, however if your only worried about throwing away the time think how you’d feel asking this same question 10 years from now.
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Have you talk to him about how hurtful he is being? If not start with that, seek outside help to help you both work through it. If this a new behaviour I would just up and leave look for why he is that way. If nothing changes after that then decide your next step. You owe it to your children to figure this out before a dramatic leave.
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Honestly, please try counseling first. If you’ve already gone that route with no changed behavior, then totally go now. But all of you deserve this family and it would be a shame to not give it everything you have first. Read stories about people who have come back from these types of things 
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Tell him loving things and how great he is…and watch things turn around. 
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When you’ve tried your best and it still isn’t enough. and the other person isn’t trying. Can’t lift a sinking ship all by yourself
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Well, after 7 years I had my second child and it gave me the strength to leave. I didn’t want another child going thru life with an unhappy mom and us fighting. Best thing I’ve ever done
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Words hurt people he needs to realize that. Emotional and mental abuse is never okay. Either he gets help or walk away. Kids would rather see their parents happy.
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when you ask yourself if it’s time, then it’s time. your children will see and sense his anger, they will see what he does to you when he is very hurtful, and they will grow up to think it’s all normal. and probably end up in a relationship like that, where they see all the anger and the hurtful words. or they’ll be the one who is angry and says the hurtful things.
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I’d you’re asking this question…
Have you considered therapy?
Both as a couple and individually?
It might help you two repair b your marriage. Or it might help you to separate, divorce, and co-parent amicably if you two can’t work things out.
You do owe it to yourselves and your children to try to find happiness.
I wish you all well.
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Never force yourself to stay in a bad situation just because you’ve done it for a long time. Life is too short and children are more traumatized by parents being together in a shitty situation than by breaking up. A healthy household should be the goal for them. If that doesn’t involve your husband, so be it.
How can you say he’s a great husband, but yet you want to leave him? Stop lying to yourself. Eight years is nothing if 42 years from now you regret not getting out sooner and living your life to the fullest and letting your kids grow up in an emotionally stable home. It’s selfish to say you don’t want to miss out seeing your kids everyday, yet you’ll intentionally raise them in an unhappy house where the anger is getting worse and worse.
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Following as my hubby is the same way.
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Anger & hurtful words do not make a great dad or husband honey. Seems you know the answer
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When the relationship no longer makes you happy, it’s time to end it. There should be more good times than bad.
Oh Sweetie…
I am so concerned about what you wrote here….
“ i’m at a loss I don’t wanna throw away eight years & miss out on my kids life by not seeing them every day”
So what you’re saying is if you leave you are leaving the three kids with your husband??
Who has anger issues and says hurtful words, so he’s verbally & mentally and emotionally abusive… and you think it’s smart leaving the kids with him? But yet you as an adult woman can’t handle it emotionally but you seem to think that a child 2,5,9 can handle his anger and emotional abuse???
… honestly if it’s so bad that you’re willing to leave your kids in such a crappy situation, it’s time to leave WITH the kids….
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Counseling. Why would you leave the kids. He’s abusive
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He’s not a great husband if he’s being verbally abusive to you
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He isn’t a great dad if his anger and hurtful words are too much. You are raising your kids around that . First get out of denial.
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Why would you leave your children with an angry hurtful man? Take the kids and get out of there! You’re being abused. He’s being a bully. I don’t know what his problem is. If you want to know, you can ask him if he’ll go to counseling with you. But I think, knowing from experience, that once they start bellowing and raging, you’re better off getting out. And for pity’s sake, take the children with you. I’m sure they’re uncomfortable too.
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It’s time when you have to ask complete strangers on the internet…
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Leave maybe it will be better to just coparent
You know when honey 
You are selfish! Your life are more important than you
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I’ve lived in mental, verbal and physical abuse for 54 years. Not physical anymore cause he knows I’m getting too old but I’m still not sure he wouldn’t if he got mad enough. I divorced him once but came back. They never change!
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When you ask strangers on social media about it .
If his problems are behavioral you should ask him to take some anger management class, if he refuses he is the one throwing the marriage away NOT YOU
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Has he seen a psychiatrist? Maybe he’s got bipolar disorder?
I know everyone is so quick to give up and just walk away because yes you don’t deserve that, but maybe he deserves the benefit of the doubt. Most men don’t like to talk about feelings and what bothers them. Maybe something is going on mentally/emotionally, maybe try explaining things to him about how you feel and even let him know you’re on the verge of ending things because of how you’re being treated. Counseling could work, but some people don’t believe in it. If you love him and truly want to make it work, talk to him, spill your feelings. If he doesn’t seem to care or want to try… Well there’s your answer. I pray for the best for you
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I would go somewhere else to stay w my kids …save up if u don’t have it…make sure take money out of the bank if ur married bc he can put a block on it. …sit down talk about getting some help from all ur resources…get a small group of girl friends (support)…there’s also dv groups…more u see how much this gets worse …way worse if u do nothing…this is demestic violence…
I wouldn’t consider leaving the kids with him part time. Kids don’t deserve to be around an angry dad. It will rub off on the kids and they will act like that one day because they think it’s ok. I would go for full custody and only allow visitation rights to a certain point
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Have you guys tried therapy first? Does he understand that you’re at your wits end with his behavior towards you right now? I would say the time to leave is when you feel nothing for him anymore and know forsure the marriage can’t be saved.
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Talk to your husband about going to marriage counseling. Some times, we can get caught up with our jobs and or children that we don’t take time to do things as a couple. Having date nights or uninterrupted adult time is important. Best of luck to you
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If you have to ask then its time
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If you have to ask, it’s time.
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Why would you not see them everyday?
Does that mean you’re leaving your kids with an angry unpleasant man for them to suffer??
Priorities.
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I honestly wish people would quit saying “I don’t want to throw away the years I’ve put in” I hate that because I’ve been there & from where I’m at now, all I can say is why? Honestly why continue to add miserable years instead of doing something that could potentially help you both? You are likely better off without him. But what if he’s better off without you too? People grow apart. Plain and simple. And the younger the kids are the better. They adjust easier & don’t hold resentment. You didn’t mention concern of his behavior towards the kids so I’m guessing you feel you could still trust him with them as a single parent. If not, request parenting classes during mediation during a divorce. Work on a positive future not only for you, but for your kids as well.
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