Go and someone who really appreciates you will show up
But do not commit to them in any way, until they commit to you.
4 month affair, nah he can have her. I wouldn’t stuck around. He isn’t loyal or respectful 
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You go, once he cheats he will do it again! And he told u he never wanted to marry.
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I mean why would you want to stay with a man who doesn’t even want to be married
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What does he need to do to convince you? This man has moved on!
the sentence that you wrote, you guys were engaged for 11 yrs. That should have been your first big warning.
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If you weren’t married and he cheated would you stay or go? Like he said it’s just paper.
Once a cheater always a cheater 
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Don’t stay where you aren’t wanted. He is not only showing you but tell you as well.
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Go and wait till someone wants you. I deserve that
l get paid over $115 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $21561 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
Details HERE… https://Dollarj0b25.surge.sh
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He took 11 years to marry, not because of money. He was just waiting for something better to come along. I’m sure he finally married because you wouldn’t let it go, but he was never committed to you. The wedding just happened to coincide with him finding what he considered “something better”.
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Walk away and consider yourself lucky!
Leave and don’t look back. You deserve someone who loves you as much as you love him.
When you have to ask… “how do you know it’s time to leave the relationship”
So he spent 11 years with you before he finally married you, then he cheated on you. Now he says he never actually wanted to marry you (obviously because an 11-year engagement is 
). Why are you even asking? Leave. He sounds terrible. He had a months long affair, which means he didn’t just screw up and stop. HE KNEW what he was doing and continued. Lying to you the entire time. That would be hard to get past. Throwing salt on the wound by telling you he didn’t want to marry you, yep, I’d have been gone.
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Nobody on the planet can answer that question except for you…
Don’t go by how other people’s relationships failed or worked. Every situation is different and only you know what goes on in your relationship. Other people’s opinions shouldn’t even be a thought. Do what is best for you and your family because Nobody is going to save you.
You need to make your decisions on what you know pros and cons. Can you live with knowing what happened and move forward or not. Only you can make that decision.
I hope it works out for the best. Good luck.
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Don’t waste your time and leave
You are the only one who can answer this. If he feels marriage is nothing. Then you weren’t really engaged. So I would try counseling if you think the time you spent in this relationship isn’t wasted but invested. Keep in mind that you may feel one way but he may feel the total opposite and kept you out of laziness because he was an ass and didn’t want to go through the drama of an actual break up. Some people are just awful. If however he wants to move forward and you are both on the same page counseling will help you connect and move forward. Good luck.
You leave love, that guy sounds like am asshole
You know it’s time to leave when you’re asking if it’s time to leave, generally it doesn’t get better
l get paid over $120 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $22974 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
Details HERE… https://makedollarfresh843.neocities.org/
Run. He had an affair and now he’s telling u he never wanted to marry you…wtf are u thinking?!?
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If after 2 years of being engaged you don’t get married, chances are he doesn’t want to.
An 11 year engagement what? I wasn’t even engaged for a whole year before we got married lmao I didn’t have time to waste. I couldn’t imagine wasting all that time on someone. 
I’m sorry! If you have to ask, I think you know the answer.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you know it's time to leave a relationship?
Leave him and learn to enjoy your own company and spending time with the kids without him. He doesn’t sound invested to me.
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I think you already summed it up and know…
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You know it’s time because you are here stating it.
Get everything sorted for you and yours and leave him.
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I think you already know the answer. He shouldn’t of got married. Good luck
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Do you and your baby’s hunn 
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It’s hard at first but you can do this on your own! It sounds like you already are anyway.
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I feel you already know the answer . He is never going to change especially if he said you know where the door is you deserve to be happy and I would just leave and start living your new life with your kiddos and just move on who needs a man that’s acting like that
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Sounds like you answered your own question. Know your worth.
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Get a sitter and go have fun, your just entitled as he is show him how he acts see how he feels then.
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Leave the kids with him and go away for the weekend. Don’t ask his permission or anything. He isn’t your father, he is your partner and they are just as much his kids and his responsibility. Go clear your head. Answers will come.
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When you ask that question
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If you’re asking “is it time to leave?” The answer is yes. People in happy healthy relationships usually don’t ask themselves if they should leave.
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Good luck mama, I also think you feel you know in your heart what u want to do. Lots of love
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It’s time to leave now
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You’re already doing it alone! Note, do it with the burden of worrying over him. You got this!
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You’ve already stayed longer than I would have. He’s not interested in being married or being a father.
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You just had a baby. Hormones are flying you need to be careful.
I’ve been married for 28 years this year. And I believe there are two extremely trying times in a relationship. The first year after you have a baby and somewhere around the 18 to 20 year mark. He needs to get real and get serious and definitely listen to you. Don’t just quit. Fight and work hard to make it work so at least your kiddos know YOU did everything.
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I think you have your answer. It sounds like he has already checked out but wants you to be the one to initiate anything formal.
When you start questioning it. What you allow is what will continue.
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If you are asking you already know… you don’t need us to validate it
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Sounds like he has already left the relationship
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You already know the answer. If he isn’t even willing to communicate and try to work it out you will continue doing it all by yourself. 
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I think you just answered your own question
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If you have to ask this question it’s time to leave
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Girl… talk to a Family lawyer to have an upper hand and make arrangements… Then you be the one show him the door !!!
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I’d like to hear 
his side before I make my final decision
Sounds like he has moved on! You should too. It’s not easy, but you’ll be happy you did it for your own happiness
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When you ask this question?
Pack up get up walk away
Well u say he doesn’t help with the kids or anything else goes and does things without the family so really your a single Mom anyway leave him and find a guy that respects and treats u good I di took my kids left we was by ourselves til I meet my husband I have now April we will been married 39 years together 40 great husband and dad so I wish u luck and prayers for you and the kids
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When you have to ask this question. It’s time
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You are not married, leave but make sure you go after all the child support you can get. You can make it on your own. You feel like you can’t but you will surprise yourself and will feel good about you.
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Leave. if he’s off with friends a lot I’m sorry but he’s more then likely seeing someone, just leave. I kno it’s so much easier said then done esp when he’s the father of ur kids (I’m in same situation, besides the going out with friends thing) we basically hate each other and are only together right now cuz of the kids. I feel completely alone myself and have always done everything with the kids myself, he’s never even taken them both for an hour ever, never changed a single diaper , I kno what ur goin thru and it’s really fukin touh rough terrible way to live, go just go as soon as u can.
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First try to get some couples counseling, and if he doesn’t want to go Then you go talk to a counselor, it will help give you some strength to do what you need to do….And definitely go after child support.
Divorce and move on.
I would say if possible maybe put your foot down and leave for a while and show him what it’s like when your gone if he misses you and wants to make it work he will call if not and he keeps doing the same stuff then there is your answer …I had to put mine out a couple of times but after a few days he seen where he wanted to be and he changed some of his ways but you have to stop letting him walk all over you mean what you say 
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You only live once. You really want this to be your life? You got this 
you deserve love
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If he is hanging out with single friends and telling you he just wants to be friends, thats a good indication he is done. I will never understand why women think having a baby will help an already struggling marriage. Babies are sressful to any marriage. I have friends who are married with no children and they are the happiest couples I know.
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You too can live like him…every other week when he has the kids.
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Hunny I hate that this is happening to you. You can always try Counceling and if that doesn’t work yes you need to leave. Marriage is 50/50. You can’t be the only one trying luv. It won’t work like that. He has to try and from the sounds of it, he doesn’t want too.
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That’s not a ‘relationship.’ He’s beyond useless and you and the kids will be much better off without him. Contact Citizens Advice and Gingerbread for legal and financial advice. Go to Turn2us to assess how much universal credit you will get. Ask him to move out if that’s viable or if not, go stay with your family if possible. That’s no life.
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If he will agree to counseling i would give it a try but he has to prove he’s trying to change. If he won’t do this you need to figure out the best way to move on. It takes two people to make a marriage.
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I had the same situation for a couple of years. I chose to end it. If I’m going to be a single mom I won’t be married at the same time. He started running around living his best life when we separated and found quickly that he isn’t about that life and he had been taking me and his family for granted. No fight, no arguing, if I’m going to be alone and doing everything myself, I won’t have a husband to look at like an extra kid. Maybe he will have an ah ha moment like mine did and come to his senses (mid life crisis type of thing) and maybe he won’t. But you come first because if you aren’t taking care of yourself you will struggle to take care of everything else. Put your happiness first. We both moved on, dated other people casually, co-parented on his schedule because of course he’s living his best life and that’s hard to do with the kids around so I had our youngest 90% of the time. We have been back together for over a year after a 7 months split after 12 years first. Do what is best for you and best for the kids. We are the role model for healthy relationships and self love.
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I am not married to my guy but I am going through this right now. The lack of caring on his end seems nonexistent right now. I know how you must feel bc I am feeling alone and very unhappy with him. He don’t care about anything
If he’s telling you to leave, leave. He clearly just doesn’t care. That’s emotional abuse and it’s not good for you or your kids.
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Sounds like it’s time. Life is too short to waste with someone who doesnt value/love/appreciate you and the family. Take a leap of faith and make the change, you will feel better once it starts to heal. Nothing good comes out of staying with someone who makes you miserable and doesnt care to even discuss theses issues, dont be complacent with being mistreated because that is not what a true life partner is. You and your children deserve better.
Sounds like he checked out already. Sorry 
Now would be the time to work on you and your children, and let him take care of himself. Whether or not you leave is up to you, but by the sounds of it he is just going to do his thing. Best of luck
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Why many just skim over the part about just having a baby a few months ago?
The same women who preach ‘postpartum is real’ don’t even factor that into her post.
Listen there a good chance your perspective of things if a bit off due to just having a baby. Don’t make any big decisions based on your current emotions.
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Me and my husband spilt over this, idk about yours but mine was emotionally, physically and mentally drained along with me being that way… if that the case he’s not doing good emotionally and mentally and neither are you. You guys are probably really stressed, both postpartum af, probably have more than just kids stress maybe something big on top of never spending alone time together or just being able to be you guys again, never getting a break and not having anyone but your partner at the end of the day is a great thing but also can be bad if you guys just don’t realize how stressed and tired you are. There is such thing for you both to just need breaks.
If not then he’s just shit and you need to leave 
Leave. You don’t need a sniffling kid. Find yourself a man.
Yes honey, leave!!! You deserve so much more then that from the person your supposed to share your life with. He clearly doesn’t want to share his life with you, why would you want to continue to be treated like an outsider. Get out with your babies and start living a real life! Life is too short to be miserable all the time. And your husband is a douche if he doesn’t see that!!
You need to divorce him pack up and leave him after he leaves you could get a new place when he gone take all ur stuff then let him come home to a empty house see what he does than
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I’d say if he’s telling you to leave then just do it. Clearly he doesn’t give two monkeys whether your there or not, for him to be running about with single friends for weekends your more than likely he’s letting on he’s single too!! I’d definitely get out now and finally be happy within yourself for the sake of your kids! Do you really want them growing up thinking that’s the way you treat people? I definitely already have cut that out of mine and my two boys lives! The way I see it is my kids deserve better to be listening to their parents arguing all the time and just in general being in a shit environment for them. Me on the other hand I know i deserve better as well and that’s just what I’ll do when I’m good and ready to be finding love 
x
Well I always say if I’m doing it alone im gonna be alone but that being said you not approving if single friends is also wrong ! He is a grown man he makes his own choices their relationship status has nothing to do with it
If you already feel like a single mom then it is genuinely easier to be out on your own without him. He’s essentially another child it sounds like that you have to care for. Eliminate him you eliminate one more responsibility
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If hes showing you the door, take it. Get a good lawyer, make sure he pays child support and work on you. The most important job you have is raising those babies and taking care of yourself. Best response to him live your best life!
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Sounds like he’s single…you should know from his actions alone what decision you should make. WTFU!!
If you’re already living like you’re single might as well be single.
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Find a therapist who can work with you two both as a couple and 1:1, make an appointment when you know you both have the time and tell him you guys have this last chance to make it work. If he refuses than it sounds like he’s already told you his truth when he said “there’s the door”. I know that is very hard to accept, but also think if you want to accept how his current actions are making you feel and have that be the rest of your life. You deserve better than that
I think if after expressing all of these things to him, if he still doesn’t feel as tho there is room to make improvements and changes to make you both happy and secure… then it’s time to go and focus on you and your children. He will either then realize his mistakes and feel that willingness to change and make efforts or realize he wanted to separate as well. Either way the ball is in your court
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Are you happy? That’s only a question you can answer… regardless of you loving him. Sometimes, love isn’t enough and people grow apart…
kids eventually feel this and realize it weighs on you.
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Will you make the right decision to leave? No one can tell you what you will and won’t do. Only you know what you will do. You obviously know the decision you need to make for the sake of your and your kids peace. Only YOU know what you’re going to do.
Next time he says there’s the door tell him go threw it if he’s not going work with you.
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Leave now .
Wish I had lot earlier on.
Done more damage then good staying
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When your heart and soul is no longer happy, that’s when it’s time. Sounds like he’s wanting to be single. It would only take one time to tell me there is the door because the last thing he would see is my behind going through it. You ask when is it time to leave…the real question is why would you stay with all that disrespect and what are you waiting for…infidelities to happen, if they haven’t already. He’s wanting the single life….give it to him 
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When bad times outweigh the good times it’s time to leave… Don’t do anything rash plan your excape and make sure you have some funds for emergencys… I’m single and tbh I wouldn’t go drinking with a, married man as I’m out on the pull for other singles…
Find a good individual therapist and unravel your codependency. Give yourself a few years of changed attitudes and behaviors before you decide if an entire divorce is what you want.
maybe he has ED it works differently on some men
Sounds like you have become more like roommates. Only you can decide what to do. Obviously, you’re not happy. Neither is he if he can tell you there’s the door.
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I’d run for the door
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If you’re even considering it… it’s prob time.
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Don’t have anymore babies n get out now
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I would wait till he’s at work or away on a guys weekend and change the locks. Get an emergency custody order for your children. I’d be so done. Pack his bags he needs to go out of your life
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