Go to counseling for you. Then decide what is next
Get info from lawyer…
Get peas in a row…
Straight up ask him…
Do you want to be married??
Are you willing to try,??
If not then there’s the door
Sounds like a REAL NARCISSIST &there is red 
. Idc if u have kids together nobody should be made to feel that way. Know your worth & all. Also sounds very toxic