Okay… so me and my husband don’t get along anymore. We’ve tried everything we know to do to make things work, they just won’t.
Anyways, we decided we would file a no-fault divorce, and I told him he could have the house I just wanted full custody of our daughter, child support, and transportation.
He told me he wasn’t going to pay for me a vehicle and that he doesn’t have to “provide” for me. I thought if I came into the marriage with a vehicle then I have to leave with one? I’m currently unemployed and looking for a job, but I just wanted to get you guys opinions on this. And he works 2 jobs but barely makes anything.
Okay… so me and my husband don’t get along anymore. We’ve tried everything we know to do to make things work, they just won’t.
Then dont agree to give him the house. Dont make it a no fault.
Y’all don’t get along, ok, that’s one thing. Is he a good father? If so, is there a specific reason you want full custody and child support? Why can’t you do split custody and you get a job?
Why do you want full custody, it’s his daughter too
I would be curious to why your wanting sole custody?
Maybe work together so he can help while you work
do split custody, fair is fair… especially if it doesnt have anything to do with your daughter?
that just seems controlling to me.
you two should sit with a mediator and go over things before they get too messy
Different states…different laws… but with a divorce I don’t see you getting sole custody unless he has done something to harm the child…
If the relationship is not physically abusive. You need to get a job and save your money first. It is not easy starting from scratch and paying attorneys and dealing with the trauma of it all.
No fault no support. Share custody equally and everyone fend for themselves. Sounds like you are looking to profit out of this marriage ending.
No job, no car and no home? You won’t get custody so better rethink that one.
I’m sorry but why on Earth do you get a child you both made with full custody? Has he hurt you or the child?
Sounds like your being greedy ,sorry.
Ok so dont let him have the house…the house is owned by both of you…he gets a cut of the money when the house sells and so do you…buy your own car with the money you get from the house…if he does not want to sell the house he is legally obligated to buy you out
If u guys are getting divorced he doesn’t have to provide for you period. Only one he would need to provide things for is HIS daughter. Only way u could take a vehicle is if it’s under ur name
So you want full custody, child support and him to pay for your transportation?
If your unemployed and he can care for them why on Earth should you take them full time and expect him to pay you for it and provide you a vehicle clearly first world problems here
Tell him u can go to court and they will screw him harder
Is he a good dad? If so, then that’s straight up wrong to use your kid as a pawn just to get full custody. Idc what anyone says. If he’s a good dad then he deserves 50/50 custody. And in marriage, stuff is split 50/50. If I understand right, if there’s 1 car, it’s not automatically yours because you had a car when you entered the marriage. If you don’t agree then he can buy you out of your half of the car or vise versa. Don’t use your damn kid as pawn though if he’s a good dad. That’s just being a shitty mom. If you do use your kid as a pawn then I yope your kid.grows up despising you
So he is more worried about giving u the car than full custody of the child?? He has no right to take everything. Laws in states are different though. You should if the laws are right be entitled to half of everything. If all u want is the car then he should be cheering. I do think unless he doesn’t want custody or the responsibility of the child then u should go for full custody if not 50/50 is fair.
It sounds fair to me. They’re gonna make him pay child support if you get custody. I would ask the judge for what you want out of the divorce. Get a divorce lawyer, or an advocate.
Well you’re being greedy asking for full custody that’s his child to you do 50/50 and it depends on how many years you’ve been married each state has different laws for example my state you have to be married for 5 years to get anything like that
If you’s sell the house, split the money (then you can get your own car), split custody or 60% with mom 40% with dad and you’ll still get child support, you’ll have your car, child and money plus shine free time to get a job and work
Well then go for half, your married with a child, u aren’t gonna walk away empty handed. Since he seems like he wants it all, well let the courts decide who gets what unless he comes to a mutual agreement
No… once you are married…the terms mine and his go out the window…
Share the house and assets, share the debts, share the child - move on doesn’t have to be difficult
It sounds like you aren’t filing for a no fault divorce if you can’t agree and if you goto court you won’t get full custody, they will make you coparent. So it sounds like you have decisions to make on your own. Do you want the car or your kid?
Simple… get a lawyer go to court… don’t agree to anything.
In Pennsylvania, if you file for child support and you are not working or on SSI, the judge will tell you to get a job. Raising the child is 50/50
No court will award full custody to a parent who is jobless, homeless, and car less. I’d split everything down the middle and go on with my life.
If you were married10 years or more he may have to pay. I’m still paying palamoney to my ex, we were married in Washington state lived in Texas he gets it another 4 years & has been getting it 6 years now
Well when I divorced.non contested. The judge didn’t give me anything and I had a 3 yr old and 3 month old child. We agreed to sale the 3 yr old house,and split the proceeds and split the bills with that. I got household belongings since I had the children. But certainly didn’t get the car,or the car payments. I had no home, no job no money just my kids and household belongings. That God for my mother who took us in. My uncle the used car salesman and for selling me a car for $500 at $50 a month. When I got a job… it all worked out, by the grace of God… that was in Kentucky…
You have kids. Any man worth a Damn wouldn’t leave thier child without transportation
No judge is going to giving full custody unless you can prove him unfit and you want full custody with child support that’s a bit wrong in my opinion which is just and opinion
I’m sorry but your wrong and it’s kind of funny.
Women don’t get to take everything
And going for full custody in exchange for the house.
You should be ashamed of yourself really.
Woman up. Get a job it shouldn’t matter what he does he could have 4 jobs.
Get off your ass and go work
There are tons of single mothers who leave with their child and work their way up
Sorry but this is a joke
He needs a lawyer. For real. This disgusts me
Shit. I’d be keeping the house, the car, and my kids. Lol
It’s not no fault if you are not in agreement. Get a lawyer.
What state? Some states spousal support is owed.
No, once you are divorced he doesn’t need to provide for you anymore. Sounds like you are looking for a payout. How about get a job so you can provide for your child.
Why arent you willing to share custody? Child support is a given, but a car isnt. Just because you had one when you got married doesn’t mean you’re entitled to one when you leave. Get a job and buy your own stuff.
U have kids, u keep the house n the car period!
Well. Presumably the car you came to marriage with is gone? Sold or broken. So you got rid of it during the marriage. You are not owed a car now. If he doesn’t have the money he doesn’t have the money.
Don’t give up the house!!!
He only needs to pay for his child. Not a car for you. Thats your own thing,maybe find a job now tjat ur going to be on your own, and save for a car if u want one so badly. i think that a child should have both parents equal amount of time…unless one parent is horrible then it would lessen for that one. But a child always needs both parents in its life. No matter what age. Again…unless one is horrible, different story. But he doesnt have to pay you nothing, except for the child support amount given out by a judge for the child. Or if u guys can come to your own agreement.
So you want to take his child away from him completely, child support, and for him to pay for you to get a car? Greedy much? Sell the house and split the profits 50/50, do 50/50 custody of your daughter (you pay for stuff when she’s with you, he pays for stuff when she’s with him) so that way there is no child support, and if you guys have two vehicles you each take one (or sell whatever you do have and each get 50% of profits). Make things equal across the board.
Stop!!! Do not file for divorce!!! Legal separation the way to go. It has no expiration date and you keep your insurance. He cannot decide what he will or wont pay, either agree on it all and do it uncontested or the judge will decide. He will have to keep you in your vehicle, and half his shit plus child support. These men cannot just walk.
I’m sorry but he was good enough to lay with and make the child and parent as well when together so why not after. Let him be the parent to. Child needs both unless a serious risk and you have stated you just don’t get along. If you can’t support child give care to dad
Why not be roommates? Me and my uusband did that for a long time…but we eventually worked things out.
Get spartan. Get an attorney, take the house, ask for full custody, alimony and child support. Do it.
Unfortunately he doesn’t owe you a car, you can however make him sell the house and give you half the money. Then you can buy a car
He works two jobs and barely makes anything so you want to put him through hell by making him pay you support?! He won’t be able to support himself let alone your daughter when he has her!! And FYI your daughter deserves both of her parents EQUALLY! You should both have EQUAL custody. This post has selfish written all over it!! Get over yourself, get a job and support your child in your own home and he can support her in his home!! He shouldn’t be forced to support two homes while you sit and do nothing!
Dependent upon your State, there are equitable distribution factors. It doesn’t matter what you came into the marriage with unless you had a prenup. What you came in with and what you accumulated together is what will be divided. You will need to get a job. There is no doubt about that. Your best bet would be to sell the house and split the proceeds evenly. If there is only one car, you get it appraised and the party that doesn’t take the car gets 1/2 of the appraised value of the car from the other party’s 1/2 of the home sale proceeds. All accounts and debt are split evenly (or pro rata), unless you two agree otherwise. Divorces that include children are usually done using the PEACE method: P: Parenting Plan, E: Equitable Distribution, A: Alimony, C: Child Support, E: Everything else (in that order). If he’s a good father, there is no benefit (and possibly even harm, in my opinion) from you having full custody of your daughter. A court won’t even entertain the idea unless warranted. If you’re in Florida like me, there is no such thing as an “at-fault divorce.” It is simply “irreconcilable differences.” Best of luck with the process if that is indeed the road you go down.
Wow. Just wow.
Regardless courts make both parents participate in mediation…and yes the mother can ask for full custody…but she might not get awarded full custody…now days fathers are stepping up for rights to kids…spilt time with kids 50/50 no one pays support…each parent takes care of child’s need while in there care…if he keeps house which makes since cause how she gonna pay rent if she has no job…and is the house rented or are they buying it?? If Dad wants house then he has to buy her out…or sell it…and if husband wanted mother to stay home enabling her to depend on him for survival then yes he should pay spousal support…it’s kinda the law
Learn to count on only yourself. Even if a court awards you something, don’t EVER count on that. Expect to work hard for the rest of your life. Don’t look for an easy way out. Don’t get pregnant
Drive your own bus and love yourself. That’s as free as you can ever be. You will make it.
Why don’t you have a car now? If you cannot afford a car now then how could he afford it after having to pay child support? Does he even want custody? I think you asked a question on the internet with all these bitches here to be rude without knowing the facts. Do you have family to help you transition? I wouldn’t want ANYTHING From him.
Funny, she didn’t say he disputed the custody, just supporting the ex… does HE even want custody??
A real man wouldn’t make you go with out a car while you take care of the kids. A real man will think she needs a car to find work and get these kids to their drs and get them to a baby sitter so she can go to work she needs a car to get to work and back. Thise of You telling Her to get a job he doesmt have to give you a hand out how the heck is sbe suppose to go get a job with kids and no car? Is she suppose to walk with those kids to find job walk them to a baby sitter walk them to their drs? Idt that’s a good idea. She looking for one she even said it in the post. No he doesn’t owe her a car but he should to make it a easier for the woman whose raising the kids his kids.
Damnit Karen! It’s always a Karen you better get to asking for a manager, because I’m not helping your ass.
I know someone who got divorced. She didnt work and when they divorced she got the kids, she had a vehicle that he bought and he had to pay the payment and insurance because she had the kids and was taking them back and forth to school. She also didnt have a stable home either.
My so and me talked about this not saying we will split but if tje situation ever happens id get the car and house because ill have the kids and he be able see kids when ever he wanted if we have 2 vehicles i get the best running one so i can take kids to school apointments ext also we would probably do a split joint custody id never tske a kid from there dad
You are eligible for child support and also spousal support. If you take the child/children to school and doctors visits, then he will most likely be ordered to leave you with a car as well. Mediation is your best bet here. What state do you reside in? That can also make a difference.
Is there a reason you can’t do 50/50 custody? If he has been apart of your daughters life he should continue to be. You wanting full custody could be more harmful to your daughter. Unless he has harmed you or her in anyway then there’s no reason to take all of his rights away. And yes he may have 2 jobs but you can be civil and work with his schedule…my girls dad and I are very flexible with our schedules. And he obviously made enough for you to stay at home but you claim he’s not making much but you want to make him pay child support? You do realize they rape the dad for child support right? Do what’s best for your child not what’s gunna put more money in your pocket
My husband has agreed that our daughter would be better off with me because 1. He works all of the time 2. I’m only seeking child support so I can provide for her
There’s no way we could do split custody, he would literally have no time to take care of her. He works 24 hours most days.
Only seeking child support so you can provide for her? Shouldn’t you be seeking a job to be able to provide for her?
How do you purpose he pay for a vehicle and child support if he is not making much as is? Also Considering he may have to contribute to the cost of living because you would be leaving the home. I don’t think what you’re asking for is outrageous however if it truly is a no fault divorce than maybe he should be awarded 50/50 custody and may agree to provide the transportation in place of child support. These things can get very messy and if left up to the courts your child will suffer. Try to be as realistic as possible and keep your babies interest in mind. Best wishes and I hope everything turns out ok for you and the child.
If he’s a good father he deserves 50/50 with his daughter, he doesn’t need to provide you with a vehicle. That’s on you, he does need to pay support though but doesn’t sound like he’s disputing that.
I have been a stay at home mom for 4 years. We have two vehicles. I would be screwed if my husband and I split up, but I would by no means expect him to continue to allow me certain luxuries.
He needs to help with a vehicle, as you will need transportation for your daughter. What if she has a medical emergency. How would he feel thst he had not done all he can to see that Mommy could get medical assistance. Besides, that, you might find that the nice man you married and loved, might very well become your numbre one enemy. You reall should get a lawyer. It sounds as if money is so tight that neither of you feels you can afford one. Try legal aid. I hate spending money on attorneys when that same money could go for food, clothing, CAR, gas, etc. Try to keep everything friendly , civil, between the two of you and build your own case for a car without getting emotional. He will have to pay child support. Where will you live? How will rent be paid? What about day caree or after school care? Write down everything that will cost money and have him do the same for himself. Then compare lists and try to work out an agreement. Take your time. Again, be your own advocate. before speaking to him, consider every possible issue and your pinion on each issue. If you must, wirte down eahc issue as it is pesented, then write down your position and then write down his. See how many you agree on, those thst you are close on, and those that you do not agree on. Whittle away until you can come to agreement on the most important issues first, then move to the least important. If you have listed them as issues, they all have some importance to you. Most of all, as he seems to want to be reasonable, as do you, ake a pact to be kind while discussing everything. Take your time. You will be fine.
Get. A. Job. You’re just as much responsible for providing for your daughter as he is. He shouldn’t have to pay you and provide you with a vehicle for you to be able to financially provide for your daughter. You’re an adult and a parent just as much as he is. Figure it out.
I wish we knew both sides to all this
Full custody is a little much to ask for , is the car in your name, do u have 2 vehicles ? Unless the father is unfit the child should still see the other parent . And all he was worried about was the car
Yea if the car is paid for already…but car payments and child support…give the guy a break…how much $ u think he has if he barely makes any $… ur living in a dream world honey…
And where will you live if u give him the house? And why would u move your child out if there home if u don’t need to ?
Get your own attorney.
So… he works two jobs, and you expect him to pay you child support, give you the house and provide you with a vehicle all while you don’t work? Girl.
I just want to chime in because I see wayyyyyy too many people screaming get a job and jumping the gun when we don’t know the whole story. Me personally I stopped working because we mutually decided I was only making enough to pay for daycare so it wasn’t worth it when I could be home with the kids. So there may have very well been the same type of agreement and if so that means she’s been solely financially dependent on her husband so legally they would order alimony. Now with that being said, she did state she was looking for a job so she may be trying to get her ducks in a row in order to be independent once they divorce. As mothers and as women in general why is it SO HARD to just give advice without being a bunch of assholes to one another…
So basically you want to get a divorce and keep everything the same that’s not how that works . You split , you get a job. Why should he be the one busting his ass while you sit at home all day & get to see your daughter ? That doesn’t make sense he needs to cut his hours back being that he will only have to provide for his child and himself now… you need to get a job and provide for your child as well.
Working 2 jobs to support a family FULL time is hard on the mind and the body… it takes a toll a person BIG TIME… u dont work and ummm he DOES… 2 JOBS AT THAT… give him the vehicle and u go get a job…
How is he supposed to lay child support and a vehicle? I think you need to chose one or the other you just said he doesnt make anything
Why full custody? He’s not required to provide you a vehicle, but would be to help transport your child to doctors appointments, dental, school and things like that. He would contribute so much money for child support a month but isn’t required to provide anything else. You divorcing means you step up and take care of your responsibilities and your own bills.
If she entered the relationship with a car she should leave with that car. As for full custody that isn’t fair. He has a right to see his daughter. He should pay child support 100%
Some of you on this post are WILD! I can’t even take the entitlement.
Get a job. Buy your own vehicle.
Women like you make a bad name for the rest of us.
Petty ass women in this group.
P E T T Y
If you have equity in the home sell it! Split the money and you can buy a car and get a place for you and your daughter. Then get a job or go to school and NEVER LOOK BACK!
Best of luck to you!!
How did she even have the balls to write that like she did…wow…i have 4 kids and one has a different father…i left that situation…didnt ask for nothing…if hes a good dad why file for full custody…just for the money? And you just said he barely makes anything…but you want him stuck with the house because you dont have a job…ridiculous…
Listen to me …!!! I was in a horrible Marriage for 21 years the only reason I stayed was because he was always controlling and would not allow me to work …we had one child and I knew I would never get one dime Out of him for anything … so I stayed until my son was grown … then we had to divorce … I went to work and we split the money from the house … no alimony or child support …!! Sometimes you just got to weigh your options … and if you are not looking to remarry immediately … Just stay in the marriage and you go your way and let him go his …!!
The two jobs he’s working could be the strain and why you guys aren’t getting along… you should try to find a job first and save up for a car, the asking for full custody is selfish your child should be shared equally and as far as childsupport if he provides everything for your child he shouldn’t have to be on child support it’s 50/50 … not judging but you should look into the factors of how you guys are going to structure coparenting civilly
Correct me if I’m wrong here; but isn’t marriage until death do us part…?
Why not get marriage counseling? Instead of running to an online forum for advice where you’re just offering 1 side.
You’re not putting your child FIRST. That’s the first problem in my opinion.
I had to reread this post MULTIPLE times and I’m absolutely flabbergasted.
For everybody that has an opinion on her asking for full custody, it doesn’t sound like he’s fighting that. It sounds like he’s fighting having to let her keep a vehicle and pay child support. I don’t hear anything in there about him wanting more custody with child…
You get the house and the kid and child support
Wait why does he get the house…I’m guessing then actually you have somewhere else to go or really just don’t want it lol my bad saying you get it…get car get car
You can get half of the house. Get a lawyer
You can get transportation after you get a job it can be done good luck to you and sounds like he’s in his feelings. Maybe he will help eventually for his child sake.
So you want to take the child… take the vehicle… and him pay you child support after hes already been supporting you for god knows how long. Don’t do that! you’ve probably let the house go to shit and now don’t want it… get off your ass and pay for shit for yourself.
Ya no. That’s not how that works. You can’t even afford to have a car yet you think you deserve one? Just no
Sorry to hear things aren’t working out. Go to your church pastor or elders and see if they Can give you advise. Keep your problems. With those you know or pastor or a counselor . People can be very cruel. God bless hope happiness comes soon.
Get an attorney not FB advice!!!
If you had a car, in your name, then you leave with that car. You can’t just force someone to buy you a car if you decide to divorce.
Your best bet is to go through the court system. They’ll order child support, visitation, etc.
Child support for one child is 14.5% of his gross salary less taxes (my state). I’m sure most are about the same. That is NOT much money. You are entitled to child support if you get a divorce and do not agree to less than the law allows.
Every thing had during marriage is joint marital property and will have to be split, it doesnt matter who paid for what. My ex did have to give me a car as did my dad my mom when they divorced. A lot of the time judges will force the car as its not providing for you but for the well being of the child.