if you have a family that’s within an hour but in opposite directions, how do you do holidays? My family & my SO’s family are both about the same distance away but in completely opposite directions, and normally we try to see everyone but now, with our little boy, I don’t want him to spend 3 hours in the car on holidays. And we also have sick/elderly relatives on either side so they traveling to us isn’t very feasible. Do you alternate holidays? Do you celebrate early/late? I’m already stressing about the upcoming holidays and how we are going to make it all work. I know with everything going on with covid minimal interaction is best, but either family gathering will be less than 10 people and we take precautions.
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We handle it by doing it on different days so that we can enjoy the holiday and not have to run all over
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Figure out how many people r In the family and alternative days
We have 6 children who have their own families…we set the first Saturday in December so we can get them all together…I do Christmas with my 5 brothers and their families on the Sunday the before Christmas…
We do my mom’s side in the morning then my MIL’s in the afternoon then my FIL’s in the evening that’s like 15 min down the road. It’s a long day and I was just telling my husband that we need to split the day for Thanksgiving with the families and then Christmas stay home. If folks want to come over, they’re more than welcome but I want our little girl to be able to enjoy Santa and her gifts on Christmas, not see them and then have to immediately leave them.
As a kid and at Christmas I would spend Christmas day with my dad and his family and then on boxing day with my mum and her family … it started when I was young and still to this day we do it and it suits everyone . Just have to sit down and explain to people
I always did my dads side on Xmas eve and Mom’s Xmas day in the evening. When I was engaged his fam did Xmas morning. So we were busy all day both days but everyone got visited.
We had similar issues weekend before n weekend after then had holiday at home if any friends r neighbors wanted to stop by it worked out!
We alternate. One year we celebrate on the exact date with one family and move it to the weekend with the other. Next year we do the same but exchange who gets the actual holiday date. We still see everyone so they’re all happy.
If you have a certain tradition that you wish your little one grows up with, I’d prioritize that. If both of your families are laid back, I’d either do one day at one and a different day at the other, such as Christmas Eve with his parents and Christmas Day with yours. You can alternate every year so they can both share in those special times.
Or you can do different weekends. At the end of the day, don’t stress so much on certain days as that can drive you crazy. Instead, focus on family time with the theme for that month. Maybe start new traditions so it doesn’t feel like you are missing out on how it used to be. This will make it a joy/something to look forward to instead of feeling like you are missing out.
Thanksgivings… one family does lunch time. The other does a late supper.
Christmas… one family does Christmas Eve morning the other does Christmas Eve night.
Alternate holidays only fair way
We do one day before the holiday with my family or the day of with my husband’s family or vice versa.
Christmas Eve with one family Christmas Day with the other.
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Celebrate different days
We used to do that also, but with a little one its a little bit harder!Either different days. But with some families they don’t like to change there “traditions” so sometimes we rotate years on the holidays.
Split the holidays. Major ones for us Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas. One year a family has 2 holidays the next 1 holiday. Of course we see them more than that but those are the majors.
Whoever we see for Thanksgiving we do a Thanks-mas with.
With us we tend to switch holidays every year. One year my husbands side gets us and the next year my family gets us. So far it’s been working for us.
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I work. Issue solved. Lol
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Split the holiday season up visit 1 set of relatives a day or 2 before the holiday and visit the other a day or 2 after the holiday. And on the holiday do your celebration at home.
You could do the Eve day with on family and the day of with the other family.
For instance Thanksgiving Eve do with one family and Thanksgiving do with the other family.
Switch each year and do every other holiday im in the same situation I hated driving all day with my daughter so we are doing it this way
We have always alternated holidays. Christmas with one, Thanksgiving the other, then swap the next year. So much easier. My husband’s family celebrates Easter on a different date each year than Catholics, so that one is easy! We refuse to turn the holidays into a rat race.
We do Christmas eve with one family and boxing day with another. Christmas day is at the parents house with the family. Exact same situation for us with different directions. Just split it up on different days.
We do early and late and some people come to us and we call people. We have family everywhere. Just a call makes most of my family happy 
do what works for you 
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We live about eight hours away from both of our families, thankfully our families only live about an hour apart. We do the holidays themselves at home and spend time with the fams either a couple days before or after, spending a night or two with both houses.
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We’ve done all sort of variations. We do one early and one late. We alternate years sometimes. Sometimes we have hosted and who was able came to us. Just find what works for your fam and don’t stress! Seeing family and holidays are about celebrating being together 
Christmas can be easily divided up to see on different days.
We do xmas eve at my moms and xmas morning with my dad and xmas evening with my husbands mom. My dad is about 1.5 hours away my mom n his mom are an hour We do Thanksgiving at our home. Everyone is invited. Usually my mom and sister and his mom come. We have 4 kids so of which are 3 and under.
Different days. We do Thanksgiving with my family and that Saturday with his.
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Could go to one on christmas eve and christmas day with the other and just alternate each year
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I would suggest now that you have your own little one, spending the holiday with just your little unit so you can relax and start your own traditions.
Set aside two days for early celebrating with both sides of the family. That way your not overwhelmed.
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When I was with my ex we took turns celebrating early or a few days later with families so for one year celebrated early with my family and then celebrated the holiday with his family the day of and the next year mine in the holiday his a few days before or after
I would say alternate. Or do like my family does, my family does most christmas activities on christmas eve. Then we go to my in-laws on christmas day. My husband’s family doesn’t do Thanksgiving so we do dinner with my family. My husband’s family does a day of the dead celebration so we go there for that. It’s a compromise and everyone gets their time with family
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We see on side of the family on Christmas eve and the other on Christmas day. We tend to alternate. It usually works itself out. The odd year it doesn’t, but we’ve gotten good at planning ahead.
We have designated holidays with each family because it’s just what’s most feasible for us living 3 1/2 hours from my family and his is right here around us. Easter is done here just because it’s on a Sunday and my husband has work the next day. Thanksgiving is planned to be blended this year with my mom, her boyfriend and my brother coming down here to join with his family at our house. My mom and I have our Black Friday shopping tradition and me, my husband and my mom love joining forces to cook. My Dad’s family tradition is Christmas Eve and his mom is my only grandparent left at 90, so we go there for Christmas Eve and Christmas morning at my moms. Then we drive back down to Florida and have a late lunch with my husbands family on Christmas Day. It’s a balancing act. Neither family wants to compromise the get togethers on different days other than the specific holiday to accommodate us or other families splitting time. They just get us when they get us 
.
One family gets Christmas Eve… the other gets Christmas Day.
Alternating holidays work. But Xmas was always an issue with us. Why drag the kids out they should be able to be home to play with their toys.
I honestly make my parents come to me and my kids. I have three sets of parents and going to 3 different holidays and dragging 3 kids along just doesn’t seem fun. They can come to us if they want to be involved. 
it’s not fair to the kids to be in the car that much
Most people spend like Thanksgiving with one then Christmas with the other
Our families do different days. (His family does Christmas on Christmas Eve and my family does Christmas; they do Thanksgiving Day and we do the Saturday after.) my family is super flexible we just want to spend time together! Another option my sister did after having her son was hello all we are celebrating xyz holiday at our home on xyz date. You’re welcome to drop by and visit but we will not be driving this holiday because we don’t want to be stuck in the car 90% of the day.
My hubby and I rotate the holidays, so last year we spent Christmas day with his family and New Years with mine. This year if were able to we plan on spending Christmas day with mine, and New Years with his.
Don’t stress. Rotate holidays between your side and his. If everyone gets upset, then stay home as a family and make new traditions. You can’t, and won’t make everyone happy.
We do the holidays depending on when my brother gets his son (custody orders). 1 year we do Thanksgiving the day after but Christmas is on that day and the next year, Thanksgiving on the day and Christmas the day after.
My dad usually works on the holiday day so luckily we’re able to do my side early/late and spend the actual holiday day with my husbands side… it’s honestly nicer not having to rush from house to house and everyone gets a full day that way
Our family has one get together every second saturday in December. Once a year from 10-2 so we have time to go visit other family members or have the week closer to Christmas to visit everyone else. It makes it so much easier to get a group together and see the people who couldn’t show up
We do our immediate family Christmas 1-2 weeks ahead. Then on the actual holiday we go or not go where we want. And we usually rotate families. It works great.
Growing up we did Christmas Eve with one side and Christmas Day with the other!
We do dads dad side christmas eve and my side christmas day. We do his moms side whenever his sister and us can be there at the same time. Other holidays we just do us. Unless someone has something going on and wants us there.
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Is there an option of everyone coming to you? Or one family 1 day, the other side another day?
We go to one then we go to the other. Unless we are hosting then we don’t go the tge other family’s.
We always go to my dad’s side of the family Thanksgiving and celebrate both thanksgiving and Christmas, then Christmas Eve my parents do Christmas with the grandkids … Christmas day we do Christmas at home until 11 am, go to my mother in-laws, the. Back to my patents for my mom’s side of the family (we live down the road from my parents)
Spend christmas day extened family teach your kids what Christmas is really about Christ and family. They can take 1 toy with them. But they will have 2 weeks of Christmas break to pleay with all their stuff.
Discuss it with your family. My aunt always did Christmas Eve so my cousins could travel to their SO family on Christmas day. Or maybe 1 side would rather do new years so they could take advantage of Christmas clearance. That’ll be me when I have grandkids lol.
We do one year with my family, one year with his family, one year home. And just keep the rotation.
We split ours up now. We use to exhaust ourselves going to 3 places in one day (my husband’s parents are divorced), we now alternate Thanksgiving, or sometimes we host and whoever can come does. And Christmas we always do Christmas Eve with my parents, we go see his mom Christmas day. And his dad just comes to visit us when he can .
You get you Family who are 3 hours away to come and visit you !! Simple !! I always visited my Family 1400km away before and after having my children and do you think they made an effort to come and see us … NO !! Works both ways and if they are true Family they won’t mind at all especially now since you have a new bub. I find Family’s pretty selfish these days a lot of them will not go out of there way at all.
We do thanksgiving with one and stay home for Christmas and invite them to our house. Our children are only little for so long they deserve to spend Christmas enjoying not traveling
We live 22 hours away from my family. Once we get to my side, my husband’s side is 2 hours from there. We ask one side to travel to the other or we offer to meet halfway (the 2 hour drive, not 22 
) say in a park or something. Or we just hop in the car and do the rounds ourselves. Our little one is a bit cranky after the 22 hour drive but does fine with the rest. We have been doing this with her since she was 4 months old.
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If they want to see you tell them to come to you
Holidays are a nightmare. 
We rotate the holidays. One yr its Easter at my parents, then Thanksgiving at the other grandparents then back to my parents for Christmas then flip the schedule for the following yr. It has worked for us for the past 10 years
My own family (me my husband n 6 kids) spend christmas with just us. The day before christmas eve is usually my moms family dinner then on boxing day is usually his moms family dinner. Its awesome lol 3 meals mmmm
I always spent Christmas MORNING at home as a kid and then the rest of the day either just at my great grandparents home or some years we would go to a nearby aunt’s home for a little bit before going to my great grandparents. I say that to say, spending time outside of the home on Christmas and other holidays is totally normal to me. We use to do a big family Christmas party on new years eve with all of my mom’s brothers and sisters, her mom, and all my cousins. Nowadays my own siblings live too far away to really get together easily so we don’t usually see each other often. Thanksgiving we usually go early to my ex’s family’s then go to my mom’s for the rest of the evening. Christmas eve is often spent at my ex mil’s. Then Christmas morning is for our little family unit, afternoon is at ex’s family’s, and evening at my mom’s. But I imagine this will change and evolve as they get older, just as it changed and evolved for me as I got older.
I visit befire holidays with mine like thanksgiving Christmas birthdays , i see his on Christmas eve if there in town(every other year) Christmas day is home together… my bio dad visits smack dab in middle of all holidays and we just call on holidays.
Alternate the families and the Holidays, then choose another day before or after holiday to spend with opposite family. Then next year switch. Believe me, all parties involved are relieved from the stress! Enjoy
Thanksgiving with one Christmas with the other.
Or celebrate on different days
3 hours isn’t that bad. 
We do Christmas Eve with my family, then Santa for our son the next morning with them, eat lunch then spend the afternoon with his family. My family is more into Christmas. 
Don’t stress out just stay at home, let the kids play with their new toys, start some of your own traditions! Decorate gingerbread houses, watch movies, play new game etc. Call or video later with the family.
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Christmas is just us at home. We see family before or after, but not on Christmas. Thanksgiving gets rotated. Those are really the only 2 holidays we concern ourselves with.
From on do it at your house and let family know you want to start a family tradition with your kids and be able to spend more time with them making memories and you would appreciate it very very much if everyone would cook 2 things each so that all of the cooking doesn’t fall on one person no matter who they are. They can bring a side dish and a desert and you can get some to go boxes. Let everyone know before they leave or before everyone sits down to open presents you would really appreciate it if they would help with the clean up because that shouldn’t fall on one person either and while y’all are doing the clean up and putting food up everyone can go ahead and fix them a to go plate! There is a lot of things you can do to make it really special. Go get big box of ornaments and some paint/Sharpe pens so you can write everyone’s name and year on them as a gift from you. It’s endless possibilities!
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Especially for Christmas, we have let family members know that we want to be able to slow down and enjoy our children. Therefore, we set a time, either before or after the holiday, to spend with each part of the family. We don’t feel rushed. The kids enjoy it more. It’s overall just more memorable for us because we aren’t completely exhausted from running from house to house with 4 kids. It had gotten to the point that our kids got sick of opening on Christmas because everyone wanted to see the kids THAT DAY, and we tried to please everyone. They may not like it at first, but they must remember the days of having children and how chaotic it was.
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For thanksgiving it’s whomever wants to show up at my house is welcome, if they want to go somewhere else it’s fine with me no pressure, Christmas is either the weekend before or after Christmas, no pressure. As our kids left home an started their own families an traditions we didn’t want to put added stress on them they are welcome to start their own traditions
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Our first two years of marriage we tried to do both families on Thanksgiving and Christmas, but it was totally exhausting. We decided to switch off Thanksgivings (one year my fam, the next his fam, etc.). My parents usually leave town Christmas Day to visit my brother and his family. So we do Xmas eve with my parents, and Xmas day with his.
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We alternated the Holidays - but we made it a rule. It to not leave our house on Christmas Day after one year when my then 3 year old daughter cried cause she had to leave all her new toys for the whole day. After that we alternated but on Christmas Eve or on a weekend or another day that worked. Aunts, Uncles and Grandparents were always welcome at our house but we didn’t leave our youngest is now 15 and my kids still won’t leave for Christmas because I suggested it last year and you would have thought it was the end of the world.
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My SOs family invites my family over on thanksgiving and I host christmas for the whole family. Thankfully we have got it easy. But there was a time that we would do separate holidays (before the kids). He would stay with his family and I would go to mine.
I come from a large family. As my older siblings married, they tried to split part of Thanksgiving day with the in laws, then the other half at my parent’s home. Everyone was rushed.
My Mom decided to have our Thanksgiving on Friday. It was much more relaxing all the way around. My Mom enjoyed the extra day to prepare, and everyone got to spend quality time with their respective family.
Worked great for over 40 yrs!
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We celebrate early with my mom and the day of with his family, because my mom is willing to be flexible (not that his family wouldn’t be, I just know she is) and that works the best for all of us!
We use to alternate holidays. I refuse to leave my house on Christmas now. I now work Thanksgiving so we do that at home as well and try to make it to relatives later when we can. I don’t stress about it anymore I’m perfectly content to spend the holidays just the 3 of us.
We have this same problem every holiday and I hate it. One family is 2.5 hours away, the other is over 2 hours away complete opposite direction. Depends what holiday but may just spend it with one family and the next year the other side. Bigger holidays we end up celebrating early or late with one family. Christmas morning no matter what we are at our own home, but then travel later that day to one family
My husband family lives in the same neighborhood. But mine lives in different cities. We try to spend time with both, but we do sometimes have to choose. Generally we choose who made plans first. (Then if there is time after we try to stop by after) it doesn’t always work out, and sometimes people get upset, but we do try to keep it fair to both families.
My mother’s family decided when there were as more small kids than adults at the family Christmas dinners rhat we should have the family dinner and gift exchange thevSunday between Christmas and New Year Day. On the years christmas and New Year Day were on a sunday the family gathering was the SubdY before Christmas. Thst way those with smLl children could stay home on Christmas. Ir worked from when I was about 8 until both mom’s parents passed. I had 4 cousing who were teens when I was born, so they had kids my age and sime even gad kid the age of my kids. There were 45 years between my oldest cousin in Illinois and my youngest sister the youngest grandchild. My grandfzther’s oldest daughter had 3 girld who were the ages of his younger children. She was born in 1890, my mom’s siblings, 6 surviving, were from 1901 to 1917 when my mom was born.
Do one family on the eve and one on the day or one the weekend before or weekend after. We hardly ever go to familys house on Christmas day we usually stay home with our kids but as for thanksgiving we do one the weekend before then our own at home or invite the other side as well
My parents and my husbands parents are both divorced so we had 4/5 family holidays to attend each holiday and our own Christmas and Easter to celebrate at home. We told everyone how much we wanted to be able to spend time with everyone and everyone ended up being very understanding and we have worked out where we spend Easter Day with one side, thanksgiving day with another and Christmas Day at home. We do Christmas celebrations with family the weekend before and after Christmas. Any other holiday celebrations are had on a different day.
When my ex and I were married we always did Christmas Eve with his mom’s family, Christmas morning with his dad’s and Christmas night with mine… I hated it! We and our son had no time to enjoy the holiday. My now husband and I spend Christmas at our house and if anyone wants to see us or our kids they can come to us. I will not make my kids rush their Christmas morning or have a hectic Christmas day. We have already decided that we will have Christmas night traditions with our kids when they grow up so they never have to feel torn about where they should go.
We do Christmas Eve with husbands side Christmas Day my side. We have Thanksgiving a weekend or so before Thanksgiving with husbands side and I make Thanksgiving dinner and anyone can come! I make no demands on my children for holidays. They are working and raising families. They don’t need any more pressure in their busy lives. We make the time we spend together count! I’m happy to have time with them at all!!!
We were alternating every Christmas but then we changed it to one weekend for one family and one weekend for the other this way our kids could stay home on Christmas to enjoy what they received instead of ok we’re done on to the next house…
We started alternating holidays. I didn’t like trying to make it to both houses on the same night, we always felt like we were rushed or missed a lot of things when doing that.
My family the weekend before, our little family day of, hubbys family the weekend after… Sometimes day before, day of, day after! Depends on holiday & reunions scheduled! It’s worked for us the last 10 years, but I am the only one on my side with kids and my sister-in-laws (all are my husbands 1/2 or step sisters) are single moms whose parents are also divorced so they have to “juggle” too!
Once we had children the holidays were spent at home , what kid wants to leave their Christmas presents to go to someone else’s house
We do Christmas Day with one family and then either the weekend before or after Christmas with the other and alternate usually each year. Thanksgiving we somehow usually manage to go to both early afternoon with one and early evening with the other.
Last year for thanksgiving most of my family got snowed in. We decided to celebrate the sunday after. We liked it because all of the older kids and nieces and nephews were able to spend the whole day with us. We decided we like doing it late so this year we are celebrating on Saturday
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My turn we do on day but if not my turn we do a week or so before. Give little gift then on return they have another present to un wrap under their tree this year plan on after brunch to go resort with pool and cook dinner their. So time together
We do Christmas Eve & Morning at my parents and then by lunch we are at his parents’ house and have Christmas dinner with them.
Thanksgiving it just depends. My husband’s sister and mom work at the hospital so a lot of times they work thanksgiving day so we have thanksgiving dinner with either my side or his and then the other the following weekend.
We always did a few days and Christmas eve with one set and then Christmas day etc with the other set of family. Once the kids got a little older they want to stay home for Christmas. Therefore we picked days during the holidays to visit both relatives. About an hr drive for us as well and at times 3hr drive.
Dec 15 for moms sibling family we have a rec center finger food pot luck. Then Eve for my siblings and their family a but we are close by. Christmas morning Is for my immediate family
We do everyother year with the big family gathering. And on the weekends before and after we split between our 3 sets of parents. But we still end up at like 5 a year! This year we are staying home!!!
We take the 2 major ones Thanksgiving and Christmas and we alternate so say this year we ate thanksgiving with my family and ate Christmas with his side then next yr we switched that worked well and all the cousins and ect started doing it!
We do Xmas eve dinner with my family, Xmas morning at home, just us, and Xmas dinner with his family.
Thanksgivings a different story. Usually early dinner/late lunch with his family, then to my family early evening.
A holiday does not have to be celebrated on THAT day. Any day that you can all get together to celebrate said holiday is the holiday.
We normally will celebrate Christmas Eve with my son’s fathers family and the Christmas day is with mine. Thanksgiving is never one day in our family. We have several Thanksgiving celebrations over the week. It is all about being surrounded by your family and friends and spending quality time with them.