Tbh I just take the phone n look thru it. My son knows this too and idc where we at either I’ll just grab it n look thru it he’s 13 so
Family link. Its an app. You literally get notified everything they do. You can also adjust settings, so it will ask you for permission before they can download apps, view certain sites etc…
Family link is amazing.
Honestly if he has that phone he will be doing alarming stuff. Kids become to grown to early nowadays. If/when I’m in that situation again with my daughter have an open discussion be honest.
Sign in to YouTube using your account that way you can see on your phone what they watch.
Family link, I took my 12 year olds phone away from May 21first to August 1st, he had to use my phone for phone call with other parent, and he’s not allowed to take it to school if he needs to call me he has to call from the school office. I put family link on after I took it away in May. Kids now days are on electronics way to much. You could always get a plain Jane service for talk and text only. I think there’s one advertised on tv consumer cellular but not 100 % but know they have them advertised mostly for seniors . Good luck on your pre teen journey… It can be rough.
Family link. Just got my daughter a new phone today. The first thing I did.
I just grab his phone & go through it & my almost 12 year old knows I do it.
My daughter only uses her phone to call her dad, watch netflix, or play her games that we picked out together.
Also I let her watch youtube, i just sign in my youtube account on her phone and im able to see what she watches by looking at history.
Get him a flip phone, no camera. Abuse the privilege, loose the smart phone.
Google family link is the name of.the app
Download a parental control app. I use google family link but there are tons of others. It connects your phone to his. You can monitor internet time, you have to give permission for them to download anything, among a bunch of other things you can pick/use. I also go through their phones.
I don’t. He is about to be 15 in a couple weeks and I don’t have a reason to invade his privacy.
Family Link, it’s amazing. Can see what they have been on, get notifications of what they download, set time limits and bed times, set ratings so they can’t access things for older kids
Family link is what I use.
Easy lol my 13 year old doesn’t have a phone. My kids are not allowed a phone till they are 18
Family link I control what he downloads and how long he’s using his phone and etc . Parent approvals goes to my phone
iPhone already has “downtime” you just add a child’s profile to your “family” and you can set all kinds of controls. When it turns off and on (they can still use the phone feature all the time)
Define alarming I mean some parents spook with X rated things when in reality its time to educate oviously if its something truely alarming it might be time to seek help while its early you cant just take something away and expect changed behavior
We had random phone checks for my kids. But to be honest if they want to hide something from you they will find a way.
Family link. It allows you too add other parents too if you decide to go monitor
I have life 360. It does a great job of making things accessible on my iPhone to his. It also providers a wonderful GPS. My thoughts are this. Your son is 12, and you’re paying the phone bill. You have every right to look in his phone if you feel that something is off. Snooping in General isn’t ok, but since you found some alarming things, you have to keep a closer eye on him. Z’sese Depending on the phone he has, there are great apps out there that will help you keep tabs on things. You can have them send you an email with a copy of each text depending on how far you want to go. Just be careful, because when your son finds out about the app, he may use a friend or other family member’s phone to avoid you finding out what he’s texting and to who. I had the talk with my son as well once he got his first phone at 14. Also, make sure that he knows that all photos have to be “clothes on.” Otherwise, he could face child pornography charges. It’s not a joke, the consequences can be rather severe. Sending prayers your way!
Family link an also life 360 it gives u notifications when he leave the house an tell u exactly where he is at I have both on my 13 yr Olds phone
There’s loads of apps that can track search history, pictures sent and recieved etc
In the mean time whilst your doing what your doing get him a 10 quid nokia so you can get hold of him. Then this stops the attitude from them of i need my phone so i can contact you
If his location is an issue aka missings and absconding you go back to basics of him being supervised at all times like when he was 5yrs
In Africa kids don’t have phones until further notice
I use an app called family link for .y daughter, she can’t download or do much without my permission lol, shes is only 8 tho lol
If he’s at school he should be paying attention to class not talking on his phone. Check his phone every night.
Another one for family link.
Literally everyone has a cell these day you can go anywhere with out at least one person having a phone get a land line until you can get it figured out go old school I will be
Maybe you should talk to your son heart to heart. Like tell him to do right things only and don’t let mobile phones and social media make him do inappropriate things.
My child has a clear understanding of my expectations with her cell phone and thankfully she follows them… but incase she veers off and forgets, I have her on Verizons kid plan and I am able to control what is accessible from my cellphone through an app. I have ALL social media, and YouTube blocked as well as any sites that have any “bad words” sex, porn, drugs, kill, naked, etc. You also control the contacts and have to add them through the app before they can contact them.
Apple helps you. You control their screen time, content, etc. I’m sure there are other apps too. Family share.
Family link. And it’s free! You can set bedtimes, and approve all apps before they’re downloaded. And you can see what they’re spending their time on
Tons of People rave about the “Life 360” app but I didn’t like it personally. I do a Google app and a Verizon app and everything goes through my phone. I also check it physically once a week On random days at random times. Even though I never find anything, I feel like I should keep doing it. He knows I do it and he’s never complained about it. He’s 11 going on 24. We have a very open relationship though, so not sure if that makes any difference. He’s very clear on expectations. I’ve overheard him tell his cousin and friends that certain stuff isn’t allowed and he wouldn’t participate. But I’ve also had him ask about GTA and try to explain why it’s okay. Nope.
We use family link. It has an app on their phone and an app on my phone. I set everything screen time limits apps even websites or take internet off entirely and as an added bonus I can turn her phone in a fancy paperweight at the push of a button. My 12.8 year old has crystal clear expectations on social media and cell phone use. She also knows at the drop of a dime mom can and has done 2x in a year go through her phone. And before anyone comes for me I provide valid evidence and we talk about why I feel the need to go through her phone. If she pleads her case and can convince me I am wrong then I concede and she keeps her privacy
We have life 360… We pay $10.99 a month I believe. I personally don’t like it. I checked out family link. It seems a lot better than life 360
I would change the Apple ID so only you can download apps
Setup Apple ID on a iPad so you get all his messages
Setup his internet browser so majority of the stuff is blocked and he can literally use it as a phone
Give him an old Nokia style phone instead, it’s a right of passage.
If it is an Android phone, then use Mobile Fence app. We have used this for years.
I use OurPact. I can control everything and set time limits, completely shut down all apps so they disappear off the screen and he needs approval to download apps etc.
He’s 12 so he’s going to be wondering what all the boys at school are talking about so maybe Instead of stopping him from seeing it maybe talk to him and teach him the difference between reality, trash and respect for himself and others. sex and drug health so he can grow into a fine young man. Kids of today learn at an early age so your better off to be open minded and honest about the sort of stuff he comes across. Just my opinion anyways
The bark app is a good one to monitor what is viewed but it also gives them a bit of privacy as well. It just looks good certain key words and if anything pops up that could be concerning it alerts you. Also if he removes the app it will alert you…
You can turn on the parental stuff. I had to cut my babies off because she got so mad she couldn’t watch her stuff. But you can set the restrictions what they can do amd what they can watch it’s in the phone settings.
Family link app everything he does u get notified with messages and all
An old phone from an op shop where he can only text or call.
Just tell them to give you their phone. Sorry but what 12 year old had a phone with no restrictions? You paid for it, you own it. Yes there can be privacy but you can still randomly ask for it. Shouldn’t need a phone with Internet or social media at that age anyway.
At that age my children got a flip phone for visitation with their father with just my numbers in it. And they only got it for visitation. So many kids today have phones just becuz n it messes with a child’s brain n so many bad ways. Everything on the phone can b done on the TV nowadays. If more children spent time being kids instead of exposed to adult things they would have a better grasp on certain things but that’s my opinion with studies done n my own kids personally. Unlike their friends my children will say had I don’t it differently they would probably b as fragile minded as their friends. My older older ones r actually glad they were raised more old school cuz they handle life a lot better than those they go to or went to school with.
I had a rule no devices in bedrooms or bathrooms, it isn’t a cure but does restrain things a bit
I do not monitor it at all.
We have six kids (born between 2000 and 2013) and we have not monitored their phones on the regular. We have told them that if we have suspicions we can take a phone from the minor; phone we paid for and so on; and look it through.
Majority of our kids, four in fact, are 18 or older. We just talked and talked and talked about proper conduct and it has worked well so far.
Kids dont need phones, I’m sure everyone before this did just fine. Let them be kids get a house phone and dump the cell phones. Your life will be much simpler without them and cheaper
He’s 12 and doesn’t need a phone, especially if you already found stuff on there that you don’t like. If he is at school, you call the school office if necessary, otherwise, why bother him at school??? And if he is with family members, just call their phone and ask to speak to him! Easy peasy.
There is a parent control, where you only set him at the age he is. That way they can’t go on bad sites & stuff.
There are parenting apps that you are able to download on your child’s phone that they are not allowed to remove without your email and password. And it gives you complete control over what they’re doing on their phone from phone calls they receive to text messages to apps that they download and what they’re able to view on the web
I really can’t with any of you guys. Reading all these have made me feel stressed lol. I don’t have kids and it seems so hard. Want them to have privacy but also make sure they are safe. This world of technology is sooo ugly. All of y’all are doing a great job!
I’m going to be that person … as a young adult who mother only would go through all my social media my phone messages all that … it creates a lack of trust … it makes the child hide more when your constantly hovering over their personal life (it’s hard when your hormones are changing and you want space !!) but if there is anyway y’all can talk it out & find another way I would really try it that way they are more open to you and not scared to hide things …
I’ve been seeing a lot about BARK. It monitors everything. If your kids get an inappropriate text from someone you know about it among other things.
Bark. It monitors everything. Social media, email, browsers, etc.
Well both my child and I have iPhones and I can turn apps off if I want
I use the family link app and have her sit with me while I go through her social media because she is 12 like your son. There are to many dangers out there not to check when she gets older we’ll discuss how often we’ll check again. Right now it’s twice a month, I ask she hands me her phone we sit and check for the request to message and friend requests. The moment she tell me no and doesn’t hand the phone over is when there’s a problem. That’s when the trust will be questioned.
I use find my kid app. It tracks them and you can monitor websites.
so glad I don’t have a 12 yo with a phone these days…good luck to you all…just remember YOU are the parent…not a schoolmate friend
Be open don’t hide it and don’t judge awareness and education is key, love unconditionally
Knowledge is power, the more your son knows and understands why he’s being punished the better choices and decisions he’ll make… which also means communication. To take his phone away because of A app or message you might’ve found, he might not know and understands the reasoning which would create bigger problems… lack of trust, lack of communication… talk talk talk with him and explain why he’s being punished. Also if he could get on A app he might think its OK if he doesn’t have knowledge about it. Can’t punish a kid for something he doesn’t know or understand… that’s when you come in as the parent and educate him/her.
A 12 year old should have a phone for emergencies only. Stop the addiction before it happens. They do not need a phone.
I just take it whenever I want and see what she’s up to. But I also have restrictions and parental controls etc. so it lessens the chance of her doing anything she’s not supposed to… and she has NO social media besides messenger kids, which I can see from my phone and she has to request to add anyone.
Her location is always shared with me (find my iPhone).
But I hear good things about bark app.
Family link app is what I used
Yup family link app does wonders
My girls are 5 and 7 and I was finding porn ad pop ups and porn invites on them.we aren’t sure how they got there but I had to keep unsubscribing to them and eventually they disappeared thank god.that really made me mad.but yeah since then I try to monitor them and we get on them every school day to turn off the volume before getting on the bus.
MMGaurdian app I use it for my 13 year old
When I signed my sons up on a Google I had to download a app called my family cause he was under 13. It helped me monitor everything on it control times it locked him out and all
Everyone, just a heads up your child can just delete the app family link without you knowing unless you check it outside of schedule times of their schedule during the day. It doesn’t just stay on the phone. When my 6 year old was 4 he deleted his. I just happen to be doing a check on the device when I saw it was deleted. It’s an amazing app but not a fool proof plan.
Honestly just communicate with your kiddo, if you have troubles with effective communication with your kiddo. Take a parenting class for Parents of Teen Kids, learn strategies and try again. A parenting class isn’t a personal attack, you can be the most amazing parent and still benefit from one. I took one when my kiddos were younger and I learned so much about my parenting style and how it was affecting my kids growth. Now I have kids who are happier cause I’m no longer helicoptering every second of the day just when it matters. We also learned to trust each other. My kids are still on the younger side but I’m super active in my nieces and nephew’s lives so I do know how teenagers can be.
Just communication, teaching them the dangers of the internet and what they put out there. They will say “I know Mom” or “I know Dad”. Continue the conversation and explain this mini “class” about internet safety isn’t optional. Anytime my kids ask for a headset I explain why it’s a no every time. You don’t know where their photos, who they are talking to, etc.
If you need help with how to explain it get personal. I explained to my nieces and nephews an incident that happened to me back when I was 16 dealing with the internet. Sometimes to get a bit personal will help them understand why you worry so much.
When I was in high school my foster parents had it set to where the only people that could contact me during certain hours we’re on a specific list through the carrier and I didn’t have access the Internet, No data at all.
My oldest has an iPhone but I limit the amount of time he uses on apps and content restrictions through settings. He doesn’t know the code to change anything but he knows when I ask for the phone he must give it to me. He is under my husband’s phone plan and has no say when we ask for the phone. We always say the phone is a privilege not a necessity and he must earn it.
Replace the phone with a regular key button phone- not a smart phone. This way he can only use it for texts and calls. No internet at all. No apps that can bring a lot of trouble and chaos.
I just take my son’s phone and check it randomly. He’s aware I do this so we have not had any problems. When he was 7 he did google sex and was looking at not nice things but after a discussion he either got really good at hiding search history or he stopped doing that. How’s he’s 16 & I do find things on his phone I’m not pleased with but it’s within reason for a teenager in my opinion.
Apple has screen time that allows you to set limitations on literally everything. You can set it to where it goes into down time at certain times. They can only text who you have on contacts that you set, limits time on apps, limits adult websites, music types, etc.
If they are androids, I use family link and I have an iPhone
I have an app called Family Link and my kids all have child accounts until their 13th bdays when I can change certain settings.
They can’t download anything without me approving it from my phone. I am also that mom that takes their phones and looks through everything routinely. I don’t care if they get mad. I pay for it, there for it is a privilege that can be taken at any time
I have Family Link om our phone which allows me to limit screen time, which apps she can download, which sites she can go to, etc. It alerts me when or if something is violated and it also keeps track of the location if set up.
my rule was, if you’re not matured enough to use this phone properly and stay off of sites you know you shouldn’t be on, I will take your phone and you will not get it back.
I think communication if very important talk to him even if it’s uncomfortable, we have a phone on the counter at 10p rule & so far it’s good, every now & then I do a quick brows, but I also remind myself them having a phone is a privilege not a right
Get a basic flip phone. No camera. PITA to text
I’d just give him a basic phone, so long as he can text or call he doesn’t need anything else until he can be trusted. But I’d do phone checks at least once a week and I wouldn’t tell him you’re doing them, just randomly ask for it to check it. I only say that not to be controlling or anything of a sort, but because I know what boys/men can be like and I don’t want my boys like it.
Maybe a no phone in the bedroom rule? If it’s what I’m thinking it is all boys are curious at some point. If it’s an iPhone you can set parental blocks like the internet gets turned off at a time you set and it locks with a code. He would still be able to make calls if he needed to call you or whatever.
Family link! I set times for game time/when phone shuts off, he can earn more time by being outside more, going for a drive, part ect (covid hit and he rarely leaves the house now, so he can earn abit extra time for getting his butt out the door)
I have to approve everything,
I randomly inspect their phones but if I can’t trust them they don’t have them that simple
I don’t wanna come off as rude in any way but hun if you found porn that’s just inevitable… he’s 12
I use family link and check the phone regularly
If you have an iPhone for him then you can use the parental controls under screen time and limit everything.
Get him a flip phone, I had a flip phone until I was 18 and able to buy my own phone with money I made.
You can go thru the carrier and shut off data so they can only call/text.
Parental control on phone… Its an app called Family Link… Check on Play Store
Family link i use it on both my 11 and 13 year old