Honesty. I had to teach my kids that making mistakes does not mean you’re a bad person. Mistakes are a normal part of life and what matters is having a good heart and that we accept responsibility and fix our errors and try to be better from there.
1 Like
My kids father did 2.5yrs for a white collar crime (not that it matters, he still broke the law 
) and I didn’t lie, they were 3,4,8 when he went. I was going to lie but I did some research and some leading child psychologists say if you lie and say they’re working or in the hospital etc, it can cause the child to think the other parent is choosing to not see them. I didn’t want that to happen. Kids internalize everything! So I explained to them daddy made a bad choice and sometimes when grown ups are bad we have to go away for a while, just like they have to go to their room when they need to calm down. My kids got visits with their dad and he called every day
1 Like
Just explain he did something bad and is in a long timeout for it.
1 Like
He’s 4. I don’t know what he’s done but maybe that’s a conversation for Dad to have. Kids take you at your word unless they have reasons not to believe you so Dad working will work. No it’s not like he’s pondering the morality of his father and his own life choices. I would not tell a 4 year old .
People make mistakes and have to face the consequences and he is working on his wrongdoing. It is best to be as honest as you can with your children, otherwise it will bite you in the end!
Explain it at his level. Does he understand time-outs? Tell him daddy made a bad decision and is in adult time out for a while. Or if you prefer using ‘jail’ tell him daddy made a bad choice and is in jail but will get out soon and not all ppl that go t jail are bad.
See, this is why you nvr tell kids that only bad ppl go to jail.
That is the best explanation for him at his age.
All he needs to know is that daddy had to go off to work so he can come home to you.
Details at this age can still be vague!!
You keep supporting your boy, let his dad explain hisself when it’s time.
Tell him in a non detailed way. Rather from you than someone else…
No 4 year old will be able to understand jail…what youre doing now is probably whats best. Maybe wait till he’s older and can understand
1 Like
Tell your child the truth. Honesty is the best policy in any relationship. Tell your child the basics until they have no more questions. Do not elaborate but under no circumstances lie! If we expect honesty we musy give it.
2 Likes
No do not tell him. He’s 4 not 14. Four year olds can’t even fathom what jail really is other than he did something really bad to get there. Please, let him be 4.
2 Likes
Don’t tell him this right now. He will scarcely remember things now in a couple years. When his dad is back in the picture allow them to continue to build a relationship as long as it’s safe and healthy. He’s too young to have to process his dad is a criminal now. Hopefully, he will grow and decide to lead a better life when released.
For me personally way too young. I know to lie is wrong however I do not believe a 4year old is emotionally ready to receive news like that.
2 Likes
I’d would continue to tell him dad is working. He doesn’t need to know he’s in jail. He is much to young
I would give it a lot of thought, he could also tell his friends not meaning any harm and it could affect him because of comments they make or the parents of those kids could become concerned and not want them to hang out. That could be devastating, considering it’s not his fault at all but you would sadly have no control over that. 
2 Likes
Tell him the truth. Daddy did some things that were very wrong and he has to be away from us because he has consequences for his mistake. He’s not working that a lie. Don’t go into detail of what he did. If he asks just say that’s something we will talk about when your older Just my thoughts
32 Likes
I’d only say Daddy had to go away for a while. He is too young to understand the concept of jail. In the only concept of jail that children his age do understand is it’s a horrible scary place where only horrible people go. If his father is going to be in his life when he gets out you don’t want him to already have a horrible image and not be able to bond when there’s already a broken bond.
20 Likes
I would start with helping him understand that peoples decisions put them in jail. And teach how people even adults are always learning. Once he can comprehend consequences and actions then you can help him understand why dad is where he is… but id start with the understanding before dropping the bomb.
6 Likes
This is a tough one. If feel like he’s too young to really understand. But I’m also a huge believer in always being honest with my kids. So I just don’t know with this one. I wish you the very best and I am sure you will come the the right decision.
9 Likes
I would be age appropriate. Hes 4 and can’t necessarily understand the whole situation. I think allowing him to think dads away working lets him not have to worry as much too. Someday when he’s older you may have the discussion but as for right now I don’t think its necessary and probably would do more harm than good.
8 Likes
Sometimes it’s not that the person is bad, it’s just that they made wrong decisions. I would clear that up first and let him know that some people make bad choices in their life but they can always turn their life around if they choose to. For right now, if the story of his dad being at work is working then I wouldnt tell him. We lie to our kids all the time about where babies come from, the tooth fairy, easter bunny and santa claus, and the kid turns out just fine. You’re doing good mama
13 Likes
Be honest with your kids. Just let him know sometimes ppl make mistakes and his dad isnt a bad guy. Think its a good thing to teach kids all that are imprisoned arent just these evil bad ppl
8 Likes
Change his belief.
Bad people arent the only people in jail. Sometime people just make mistakes and have to pay for them with time.
My dad was in and out growing up, sometimes honesty is the best policy because you spend less time trying to correct the misconceptions later.
5 Likes
I would start having little non-specific conversations with him here and there to help him understand, in general, that while most people in jail are bad, not all of them are. Some are just good people who made a bad decision, and are learning a lesson from it.
Then, when you decide to tell him the truth (you will know in your heart when it’s right) he will completely understand. I think now is not the right time seeing you are wrestling with the decision so it’s best to hold off for a while.
I did similar fashion leading up to when my husband and I told our daughter that he’s not her bio dad, and it went phenomenally well. Her response about her bio dad was more than I ever expected her to say 
(she was 12 when we told her).
4 Likes
He understands that other kids dads go to work leave it at that for now. he’s too young to understand even what jail is ,why destroy him, you know you could say things like Daddy made a bad decision ,but he’ll be home pretty soon , to children they don’t get the concept of time as he gets older you can explain more
8 Likes
I don’t think it should be on your shoulders to tell him. You said they speak on the phone? So I assume you and his dad agreed not to tell him? Since he will be out in 2 years, I would just wait it out. His dad might straighten up. I don’t think your son will hold it again you being that he will only be 6. If he ends up going back to jail, then you need to tell him.
Also, maybe keep a journal and give it to your son later if he is upset with you for lying. It might help him to understand how you were struggling with whether it not to tell him. He can read it later, or as an adult. Good luck
2 Likes
I do have a 4 year old and she knows her mother is in jail because she made some bad decisions and now she has to make up for it BUT she won’t be there forever. It’s better that they know there are consequences to the choices we make. These are not my kids but even with my own, I tell them the truth. I myself went to jail when my son was around the same age and I myself told him over the phone that I made a bad choice and that I had to go to jail for a few days. Trust me…they do understand.
14 Likes
Is first start with changing his view on jail. Yes bad people go to jail but mostly because they made bad decisions. I bet we could find good in every person in prison in some way shape or form. So if you start there then after awhile explain to him that’s where his dad is and that because of a bad decision he made he has to pay the consequences for it and that’s paying society back by spending time in jail or in a
Kids thoughts a big persons time out. The unfortunate thing is he may want to tell everyone about his dad being in jail too since kids seem to need to tell everyone they see things like this. That’ll make it hard if people around you don’t know too.
2 Likes
Dont tell him , he’s too young to understand, later in his teen years, it may come as a wake up call for him to stay on a good path, besides, I feel like that is something his dad should share with him, given its been part of his journey 
4 Likes
I’d seek advice from a child therapist as to what to say, the impact and how you can help the child better cope. There’s a lot of adult choices that we make as parents and don’t understand how impactful it is. I think you’re doing the right thing by protecting but I’d get confirmation from a professional about how to go about communicating!
Mama you’re doing great by even putting it out there !
1 Like
I told mine🤷🏾♀️
It wasn’t really working (for us) by telling my daughter he was working all the time. She, even at 4 years old, was upset that he was “working” so much and no time to see her. They may not understand the depth of the situation but at least they know it’s not so easy to see their parent for a while or very limited. They will realize that mistakes can end up really bad. And truth will help the honesty and communication between parent and child.
1 Like
I agree with everyone else too, don’t tell him…yet. 4 years old is a little to young. Maybe when he’s a older & able to understand the situation better.
14 Likes
My little ones dad was in jail for 18 mths and got out this last dec. While his parents said he was working I was honest with her. We just talked about sometimes people make bad choices…doesn’t mean they are bad, but if they do a bad thing they do get in trouble. As of right now he is out… but currently started drinking again…so I’m really hoping we don’t have to go down this road again. She is 5 now
3 Likes
I have this problem with my brother who is a repeat offender and my kids have built a semi stable relationship with him when he is not in jail. I constantly remind them that their actions have consequences. So their uncle has chosen to make bad decisions that result in him going to jail. They’ve understood this since they were 3 and 4 years old.
1 Like
Well first of all, making bad choices doesn’t make you a bad person. That should be the lesson we teach our children.
My father and husband have been in jail… they arent bad people they just made bad choices .
So change his thought process and then you can tell him.
3 Likes
Too young to understand. When he gets older he will understand you were trying to protect him. Preserve his innocence as long as you can. I would hope that once his dad is out, he would be honest with him, by then he would be a little older and may be able to understand a little more. (Or just when the time is right) In the meantime since there is contact between the two, continuously remind him how much his dad loves him… that speaks volume. Other parents that have been in this situation choose to leave their families all together. Hang in there!
14 Likes
Be honest as able, while being age appropriate. I feel that incarceration is too big of a thing for a child so young, but as others have said, teaching him how cause-and-effect works is a good life lesson. And before to not use the word “punishment”, rather use the word “consequence.” No matter your choice, good or bad or in between, what happens because of the choice is a consequence of your action(s).
1 Like
He’s only 4 I would not tell him. U would not tell him about Santa would u? If he’s not old enough to know about Santa then he to young to talk to him about his dad. We lie to our kids because that is what a good parent does. So if u going tell him about his dad because u don’t want to lie to him then u can tell him about Santa, the tooth fairy n the Easter bunny. Just my opinion. If u tell him at this age it will change him forever. We should tell children things they will be able to process n understand n at age 4 he will not understand why his dad is in jail. Don’t tell him.
2 Likes
I feel that you already started with “daddy’s at work”… At this point your so far in just keep it up. He doesnt need to know about all of lifes drama at 4 years old.
2 Likes
The truth will come out eventually, so I suggest telling him now. Maybe talk about bad choices, and how it doesn’t make people bad . Maybe also talk about some bad choices you or he have made and how you’ve learned from it. Children are extremely smart, and deserve the respect of truth . Growing up, there were many things that I knew were happening , and I was being lied to . It created a lot of distrust in me , and lead to other issues. Good luck in whatever you choose .
1 Like
Tell him his dad made some bad decisions and is having to pay for that by spending time in jail. That is the truth and it will teach your child that bad decisions have consequences!!! That is a wonderful lesson to be taught young. Do not lie and cover for his dad. Right now all you are teaching him is that it’s ok to lie. And it’s not! He will eventually find out the truth and that you lied.
4 Likes
I had a baby in this position and was pissed when my ex-SIL lied to him saying his dad was working. I never lied to my son about where his dad was or why he was there. Children are smart and believe it or not, they can handle the truth. If you want your child to trust you, and to be an honest person, then you have to set the example for him of what that means. Be honest with your child. Use dad’s poor choice and the consequences of it as a learning experience for your child so that hopefully he won’t make the same mistake.
20 Likes
As a mental health professional, I would strongly encourage honesty expressed in terms that a 4 year old can understand. Also remember this is something that can continue to be discussed and processed over time as your child gets older and can better articulate his thoughts/feelings about this experience. This should not be a one-and-done conversation. Good luck 
2 Likes
I think he’s a kid
Just keep with the work thing
Both of you can tell him when he’s older
He’s too young man.
4 Likes
My ex husband has been in and out of jail for the last 3 years. I have been straight up with my kids. They are now 6 and 9, so they were 3 and 6 when he left. I took the opportunity to explain why it is so important to have good friends that help you to make good decisions and that bad decisions have consequences.
Use it as a learning opportunity.
2 Likes
Maybe tell him Daddy made a mistake and he got in trouble. Don’t have to imply dad is bad. People are human and everyone makes mistakes. May make it easier for a young child to understand and not think daddy is bad
3 Likes
Well good people do bad things and bad things come with consequences! Not a bad lesson!
2 Likes
I would be honest, he’ll find out eventually so why add resentment for lying to the situation? You have the ability to teach him at a young age about why his dad is in prison and that dad still loves him.
2 Likes
My youngest didn’t meet her biological father until recently. He had been in and out of jail on drug charges and DUI/DWI charges for years. When they finally met, she was able to make her own determination about him and saw him for what he has become. She has seen what drugs and alcohol do to a person. She’s only 10 but has a wonderful understanding about this and has told me she misses him but is glad he isn’t around because she saw how bad he is for all of us.
2 Likes
My son is 6 and his “father” took off when I was 6 months pregnant. I’m still trying to decide what to tell him. For now I’ve just said he lives far away but now he’s been asking more questions. Ugh. Idk what to tell him.
2 Likes
Just stick with it . And see how it goes when his released . The concept is to big for him to understand . And if all goes well when his dad gets out why put him through that ?
2 Likes
I think he may be a little too young to understand the details of what you’re trying to say. I think you done the right thing by just saying daddy’s at work. Maybe when he’s older, y’all as a family can explain why you had to say he was at work opposed to where he was; in a way it’s still not a complete lie, he is at work, working on himself much love to ya mama
2 Likes
Four year olds are smarter than you think tell him as much truth as you can,if you don’t it could backfire on you later,your son could end up with trust issues because of your stories,Truth is always best
1 Like
Nah tell him work or vacation no need to tarnish a relationship u want them to have right. We already lie to kids about like santa and tooth fairy so like after he’s out of jail the kid will be 6 and just remember dad being gone alot when he was small
1 Like
4 is way too young don’t burden him with adult stuff.
Saying daddy is working is fine right now at this age. Too many parents today want to be friends with their kids and always tell them the truth no matter how harsh and then we wonder as a society what the hell is wrong with kids today.
Let him be a kid, it’s such a short time in life with no worries and wonderment.
Keep adult stuff between adults.
1 Like
No he doesn’t need to know. Just as long as he has communication with his dad thats good enough. But once the dad gets out he really needs to put forth the effort of being there for his son.
1 Like
I would just tell him his dad is unavailable…kind of keep it in the grey area until you feel his is mature enough to understand not lying but not full truth…that’s a tough to decide kind of damned if you do damned if you dont…good luck 
1 Like
He doesn’t need that kind of information at his age. Stick to what you’ve been telling him. This situation is too big for him to comprehend. If when he’s older you and his father feel he needs to know, you can tell him at that point but, in my opinion, he doesn’t need to know.
1 Like
If he was a couple years older I would go with the truth … however I don’t think 4 is old enough to understand it or cope with a situation like that. I would just wait until he is older and explain why you waited to tell him.
1 Like
I have a good friend who decided she would keep it light, her son was 2. His dad was in the “big” house. He called it the “high” house. The child’s grandparents have been taking him to visit his father since his incarceration. Because of the COVID, he hasn’t seen his father in awhile. His father used to call him, but he has quit. The child has quit talking about his father. I think there needs to be some kind of communication to keep the interest alive.
He’s to young to understand right now. When he gets a bit older, definitely tell him the truth and explain everything…it may help him not follow in his dad’s footsteps and make the same bad decisions. I give you and his dad lots of credit for keeping the father son bond going through all this.
I would stick with your story. When his dad gets out let dad explain the truth to him if you think your son will understand and is ready for the truth. And then you and dad can explain to him why you thought it was in his best interest to hide the truth.
I personally think 4 is too young for him to understand that he isn’t a bad person but just made a bad decision. I can understand that it would be hard feeling like you are lying but if you are protecting him it’s not a bad lie. When he is older Dad can explain it. That’s what I would do anyway. Sorry you are going through this
It’s a tough decision. I would wait until his father is out so he can be there to help with that. He does need to be told because when he gets older he will find out anyways and feel lied too. Good luck but honesty is very important!
He is 4 he does not need to know ADULT behavior. I say do not tell him and wreck his innocence, sometime a story is needed to protect the child.
1 Like
It depends what he did to land him there. People make mistakes but sometimes it’s better to be honest with the children. It can help teach him our actions have consequences. If you do something bad you can go to jail
I wouldn’t tell him…he’s too young to understand and it may make the whole situation harder on him and make him very sad. You can tell him when he’s a little older and can understand exactly what happened!
I would tell him. My mom told me when I was 4 about my dad being in jail. Kids deserve the truth. Just explain to him exactly what you said. Daddy made some bad choices so he’s in jail. Jail is like a time out for big people. If you word it that way it may help him understand it better.
COMPLETELY HONEST!!! Honesty is THE best policy & I don’t care what anybody says or how old your child is. If you choose to be dishonest, he will find out some day. He will hold that against you & never fully be able to trust you. I never lied to my son about his Dad. I told him flat out that he wasn’t ready to be a Dad (his words) & that he chose drugs over him. Throughout the yrs my son realized that I was right…he was better off without him. He’s now 25 yrs old & his Dad hasn’t even spared 5 minutes to come & meet him…not once. I was ALWAYS honest about his Dad & he will always be grateful for that. He told me if I wouldn’t have told him what he knows, he probably would’ve drove out to meet him himself (he only lives 20 minutes away) & he would’ve been rejected & heartbroken. PLEASE BE HONEST! HOLD HIS DAD ACCOUNTABLE FOR HIS ACTIONS & HELP HIS SON LEARN FROM HIS MISTAKES
Start with changing his understanding that “had people go to jail.” That is not at all true. People make mistakes, and some mistakes land is in jail. You don’t have to tell him that his father is in jail though.
1 Like
I think that at the age of four he’s too young to understand the good people sometimes do bad things and go to jail. If he has two years left on his sentence at the age of six he may be old enough to understand. It may be a better conversation to have one status out of jail. If I were in this situation I would continue to tell him that he’s at work and his job keeps him away from home. And once daddy can come to see him and spend the day with him maybe at the end of the day or there after tell him where he really was. Or you may decide to wait even longer to tell him that when Daddy was working he was actually in jail. It would all be based on the maturity level and understanding of the child at that time. That’s just my opinion and what I would do.
People that do bad things go to jail. That doesn’t make all of them bad people. Everyone makes mistakes, sometimes those mistakes are worse than others and can result in jail time. He is old enough to understand the truth, and he deserves it. I’ve got a 4 year old. They are smarter and more receptive than you would think. In time he could resent you for lying to him, he is NOT old enough to understand why a parent would lie to protect their child, and some people are never able to understand that. If he were to find out from someone else that his dad is in jail, imagine the complex that would give him.
I work in childcare; I have had children who have parents in jail. When holidays come and we have celebrations they can get upset. Their parents and I work together to explain the situation. Daddy/mommy did something that was against the rules. It is like an adult time out. They are working on getting better and doing the right things. They love you very much and when the time is right you will be able to see them and they can join you in all your special events.
I would definitely tell him it’s not going to hurt for him to know that his dad’s in jail it might make it easier for him to understand that he can’t come to see him some might be a little bit of confusion as to why he doesn’t get to see his dad and it might give him a little bit of a abandoned mental issues if he knows he’s in jail at least he knows that his dad’s not come visit him and later on when he’s actually able to really understand it and remember what happened it’ll definitely probably help him it’s not easy for children when I don’t understand what’s going on when I was younger I didn’t understand why I was living with one family and got moved to another I don’t know if it was cuz they didn’t really tell me or what the reasoning was but at some point I was very angry later on cuz I figured out that I didn’t really understand what was going on
I am actually in a similar situation. My children were 2 & 3 when it happened and he has been in prison for 3 years now and has 2 left. They have figured it out over time where he is but I never told them when they were little. He was always “working” I just felt they were too young to understand and like your child, they believed bad guys go to jail. Bad decisions don’t make anyone a bad person. I don’t personally think 4 is a good age to understand what exactly is going on. Every child is different and you’ll have to do whatever is best for you and your little one 
momma knows best
I would tell him, that sometimes when you make bad choices, you go to jail. Daddy made a/some bad choices and had to go to jail. Daddy can’t wait to be able to see you and hug you. ( if that’s the truth)
Don’t be afraid to admit that you were wrong to tell him that bad people go to jail. Fix your mistake and be honest with your child. 
1 Like
Be honest. Doesn’t pay to lie to uour kids. Been in the same position as you when my oldest son’s dad was incarcerated. Never lied to him. Don’t start a pattern of lying to your kids cause you will be the one they don’t trust when they get older. Your kid will eventually find out where his dad was might as well be honest.
I had a similar situation. I told my son his dad was out of town, and couldn’t come home right now. It wasn’t a lie, but not the whole truth. Mine was 5 and in kindergarten. I didn’t want any backlash from other kids. Also I didn’t want my son to think going to jail was ok. But one main difference was my situation was only for 6 months. I don’t think a small child can really comprehend jail. They may worry, or create other harsh feelings that would really cause more pain than good. I wish you luck. I kept trying with my ex. 7 years of in and out of jail, and drug abuse. It’s so sad because I saw his potential.
I would explain that people make mistakes/bad choices. Everyone does and that doesnt mean they are bad people. People deserve forgiveness. Then explain that dad made some mistakes/bad choices and he was punished for them by going to jail. Dad isn’t a bad person and jail helps people to learn from their mistakes/bad choices so when he comes home he will make better choices.
Later down the road the truth will slip out and then your son will think you are a liar or that its ok to lie to protect the ones you love.
I have been in same situation. I just told my kids daddy is in time out . Now they are old enough and understand. If he’s a good father don’t tell him just say he’s away for awhile and keep up the phone calls . He’s young he won’t understand
My daughter was in preschool and went to school and told everyone her dad was in Jail!! It was super embarrassing. But when her dad just didnt come home I had to tell her something! Her dad was in jail for months for DUI, but I told her he went for not wearing his seatbelt! Until this day she always buckles in the car. I think its important to tell them things, they already know more than we think but also we dont have to tell them everything!!! Use your own judgement as to what to tell him. You know your kid better than anyone else. How much and what you tell is up to you!
I personally wouldn’t tell him. He’s to young. Let him continue to have those phone conversations though. At least he knows his father hasn’t abandoned him.
Way too young to understand that completely. That is a conversation for when he is older. Children don’t belong in adult issues!!
1 Like
Be oblivious. Say he is away. And you dont want to talk about it. Kids push, but if your boundaries hold up, that will give him more security. Or simply say he is in whatever state he is in, hopefully not the same state. It’s hard because he does call. 
’s up. I dont think saying he is jail is good at this age.
I would not tell him yet. He’s not mature enough emotionally to handle it most likely. I speak from experience my middle child’s father (my ex husband) is ALWAYS in & out of jail. My son is 9& goes to a counselor every2weeks just to help him process everything. This time I’m thinking he’ll be put away for quite a long time
I dk if I’d tell him hes in jail, but I know I wouldn’t tell him that hes working. Hes going to think that daddy working is more important than seeing him. Maybe it’s best to tell him daddy had to he away but he will be back and it wont be forever and daddy wants to be there. And as soon as he can be he will. You dont want him to think work is keeping him away for that length of time.
1 Like
I would elaborate more on bad people go to jail and say just like children, when adults are bad or get in trouble we go to time out. Our time out is jail. So while daddy made a bad decisions he’s not a bad guy he just didn’t think about what could happen. Because not all people in jail are bad or need that label. Some get mixed with wrong crowd or act impulsive in addiction to countless other reason that don’t make them bad people. Plus breaking down action and reactions helps your child to learn there are consequences for bad actions and the difference between.
I was in the same predicament with my 2 sons. I told them the truth, honestly is always better. My kids are now 12,9 and they respect me for telling them the truth. All you need to tell him is the basics x
I would stop telling him he’s at work. Simply saying he’s away for now is sufficient. I would let his dad explain anything further. If not, explain to him that we all have consequences when we make bad choices. Gently lead him into that dad had to go away because he made bad choices. Be age appropriate.
Kids are experiencing enough anxiety and uncertainty right now due to the pandemic. I wouldn’t tell him for the simple fact that it will cause him more anxiety. “daddy’s working” is an acceptable explanation given the fact that you know his daddy will be returning into his life.
I would let his father tell him, when time is right… Don’t take on that burden… I agree with white lies it won’t change anything right now, besides maybe how he feels about him.
My sons dad was in prison when he was 2-5 years old. I told my son his dad was at work far away and would come home and see him as soon as he can. At 4 he’s too young to understand and you don’t want him to think his dad is “bad”
1 Like
It’s a good lesson to learn if you break the rules there are consequences. But at the same time we all make mistakes and deserve second chances as long as we learn from them.
My daughter is 4 and I’m very open & honest with her about life. Her step dad was in prison for 5 years & I married him when he got out. She didn’t meet him until he was out but I just explained to her he made a bad choice & he learned from it and he’s doing the right thing now. I didn’t tell her what he did or anything- just kept it short & sweet. She loves him more than anything & doesn’t think any less of him.
Do you not take him to visit his dad?
Why not be honest? Explain that sometimes people make mistakes but that doesn’t make them bad people.
Point out that when he does something he isn’t supposed to do he gets a “time out” or some type of punishment but that doesn’t make him a “bad guy”
1 Like
Good people who made bad choices go to jail when they break the law. Not sure what to tell your son at this point but eventually you could tell him his daddy is a good man but he made a mistake, a bad choice, and had to go to jail for a little while because of it.
I used to give tours of a police department to children. When we got to the jail I explained it as time-out for grown-ups, where grown-up go when they make bad decisions. They have time to think about their mistakes and hopefully make better decisions the next time.
always tell the truth always…just say Daddy made a bad decision and he has to pay for it …when someone breaks the law they have to pay for it…Daddy is NOT a bad person he just madde a mistake…IF you lie to him he will never forgive you…always be truthful
I’ve gone through thisrecently with my daughter. By age 4 she over heard me telling my case worker when i was getting state assistance that we was in prison. Now she’s 9 and we sat down and discussed why he’s there. At 4 i told her he did since bad things and was not well and in prison he could get thehelp he needed. A few weeks ago we dug further into what all that ment. I explained his drug use and his crimes. I wanted her to understand it all. But i also made sure she knows her father made bad choices and deep down he’s s good man. But he has to take responsibility for what he did. He didn’t hurt anyone so that helped her feel better(other than me). When he called he also explained what he did. So she heard it from us both and we were completely honest. She knows what she needed to know without getting all the horrible details. Honesty is always best.
Nop don’t tell him. Father only has another 2 years to go. Even knowing at 6 years of age is too early. Yes, one shouldn’t lie to kids, but in this case you’re protecting the relationship. No need to share. Good luck!