I would tell him the truth , but turn it I to a “teaching moment”
Well technically…
He issss working…
Just working on himself…
Working off his sentence for his bad decisions.
He is kind of at work. It’s his job to serve time right now.
Daddy made a bad decision and he is in time out
He is at work.Working killing time to be with his family
No hes to young just say he works away
Everyone makes bad choices or mistakes in life
He’s too young to understand imo.
Tell him the truth but in a nice elegant way
I would tell him. He will need to know so you can take him to visit. He has the right to know his dad.
Well if I were you I’d continue to lie to my Child to protect the Pos that left me to raise him as a single mother. We must protect those deadbeat dads at all costs!! And what makes you think he’s going to waltz out of there in a few years and instantly turn into Ward Cleaver?? Good luck dear but I’d stay faithful in my relationship with my Child and leave his fatherly duties to him. IF/ when he gets out!!!
We lie to our children often Santa, tooth fairy, happily ever after. I believe it is good to let him continue to believe that jail/prison is where you go when you’re bad. I don’t see anything wrong with letting him at his young age continue to believe his dad is working. Hopefully his dad has learned his lesson and doesn’t put you in this shitty situation again.
Tell him the truth at least I would
I don’t think a 4 year old would completely understand everything involved with that. I mean, maybe if you tell him that daddy made a mistake and he is making up for his mistake. I just don’t know how you would even go about that. I don’t agree in lying to our kids either. I just think that finding the best way to talk to him about it, is what matters. I am sorry that you and your son our in this position. Your son will obviously figure it out eventually. So maybe just say that his dad made some mistakes and he has been gone because he needs to make up for those mistakes. That daddy has a choice to not make mistakes anymore after he gets home. He needs to get the details of it but in a kid version. I explain to my son about getting in trouble and making poor decisions can affect your life in a lot of ways. So that it is important to do your best to be a good person and not make those mistakes. That he has a choice to do right or wrong and life is easier and more fun when you make the good choice. So my son always understands what I am talking/teaching him about because I always break it down for him. This is a tough decision for you. Will it benefit your son to know the truth right now? What will be the pros and cons of him knowing that his dad is in jail? I see some good, but I also see a lot of bad about him knowing. I am just thinking of how this can effect his emotions that he is still learning about. Will he go around and tell everyone that his dad is in jail? Ugh. I am sorry that you are in this position. Sending positive vibes during this. If you do decide to tell him, I would suggest it be a very long talk and make sure that he is emotionally ok and understands.
I wouldn’t tell him. I’d say he was in another country working and he can’t see him for a little while. Just remind him his daddy loves him very much and can’t wait to see him. I say this because you want him to look at his father as a good guy and it might confuse him and cause him stress or depression if you tell him the truth. When his dad is out let him have the choice of whether he wants him to know or not.
Honesty is still the best
He’s out of town working
Be honest. He will end up resenting you if not.
He’s 4…once he’s older you can explain.
I’d tell him but in ways he’d understand.
I’d keep the wirk thing going… hes too young
Just be honest. He made a bad choice.
100% always in a kind way
Jail is a time out for grown ups u can say
The truth shall set you free - not your cross to bear
I have been through this so if you want to pm me I might be able to help
Never ever lie to your children!
I told my kids the truth at the same age. I think it’s better to tell the truth. Kids arent as dumb and incapable of handling things as you think unless you’re babying them too much. You can teach them that people make mistakes. But, are you sure his father isnt a bad person or are you making excuses for it? I see it all the time. Guys who were abusive, deals drugs, armed robbery, etc and their partners always made excuses for it. Either way, it doesnt matter what you tell him. When he gets older he can still come to the conclusion that his father is a bad guy.
Tell them the truth to their ages level.
If he asks tell him just explain it in a way he can comprehend it. Kids are very black and white in their thinking
Be honest and tell him his daddy is jail bait
Tell him in a kids way of understanding…
Don’t tell him till he’s old enough to differentiate the 2
Please explain to me how anyone in prison is a good guy. Good honest people don’t go to prison unless the law made a mistake.
The first mistake is teaching him “only bad people go to jail” that’s where you went wrong first. Kicked you right in the butt 
. You teach them that when people make mistakes they have consequences. Just like children do adults do to. If his dad made a mistake and is paying for it why not teach him that. It’s the truth. He will learn from his dad’s mistakes and know not to do that but you just lie to him? Maybe it’s time to teach our kids reality of life so they know what to avoid instead of sugar coating real life situations. Teach them.
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100% but maybe wait til he’s closer to 10 or so. You will know when he’s mature enough for that stuff.
My daughter’s father was jailed for life when she was 14 months old. She is 8.5 years now.
Let’s face it people are generally in jail/prison for a reason. It isn’t just a bad decision like wearing orange and pink to a Christmas party, but a choice to break the law. It is also a decision and does not have to define a person if he chooses to change and stay on the right side of the law after jail.
Your son is old enough to understand that police are good people doing a tough job. His Dad made a decision that is forgivable (a good lesson in forgiveness) but first he has to deal with consequences (talk about consequences and why it is important to live a moral life).
4 year olds CAN understand if we help them and it doesn’t have to be bad.
Let him know it is more than ok to love his Dad and he excited for the day Dad is back home.
You can be honest with him, talk to him in a way that he understands and protect his heart. As he continues to grow up he will appreciate your honesty and trust you more.
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Limited until your child is older
He’s to young to understand, I wouldn’t tell him
There are age appropriate books on how to explain or tell your child about a parent who’s in jail/ prison do some research in that direction and then follow your gut instinct on what to do! Everyone’s situation is different plus talk to his dad about it and find out what he thinks after all it’s going to affect him to.
I believe in telling kids the truth no matter the age. One of my neighbors kids biological dad is in and out of jail and owes her thousands in child support, they have never met and he won’t sign over his rights even though her husband is willing to adopt them. She told them everything about him and what kind of person he is so they know about that. They had also knew that their uncle (her kids were very attached to him) who was my boyfriend at the time had been in jail a few times before and after we were together. But when my neighbors dad (they also were very attached) was in jail even though he was innocent she told her kids (at that point they were 7 and 9) that grandpa was working at a rodeo way out west and didn’t have time to call and talk to them, even though he always had called them. I was told by my boyfriend not to say anything because it might upset them but I didn’t know what the big deal was and told them anyways because if they could handle knowing their uncle was in and out then they could handle grandpa being in for something he did not do. (He was proven innocent by the way.) Then when they had talked about it with their uncle my boyfriend asked why I told them I said that lying was not a good idea because they thought they did something wrong if grandpa didn’t have time to talk to them. But him and my neighbor stuck to the story that grandpa was in the rodeo. I tell my daughter who is 11 but doesn’t understand things because she intellectually disabled things all the time about the things her dad does and says when he doesn’t see her because its the truth. I’m just one of those people that prefers to be honest than be a liar and I prefer people to be honest than lie.
I was in the same predicament. My sons dad was incarcerated when my son was 1. We also did phone calls so my son would recognize his voice. I never lied. When the questions came, i was honest. I didn’t say bad ppl go to jail. I said breaking the rules had consequences. Like he would get time out for throwing toys, his dad broke an important rule(law). So the consequence is jail, and i gave a brief idea of what jail is to my son. As he got older and asked what law his dad broke, honest again. I explained that ppl are required to have paperwork done when buying or selling guns, his dad didn’t do the paperwork so his consequence for that was jail. My kids are familiar with firearms and we practice gun safety and currently teaching how to handle and shoot. But they also know the rules pertaining to firearms. So, the explanation was a simple one for my son to grasp. His father was incarcerated until a few months ago, visits were done when i could. My son has no issue interacting with his father today, it’s like he’s been around the whole time. My son is almost 8 now and has no issues with his dad. My mother raised my neice while my sister was incarcerated. My mother used the work scenario for her. Big issue came with that bcuz my neice began to see the situation as voluntary. Like her mother was choosing to be at work rather than with her. Now my neice and her mother really struggle to get along, she’s 18, no resurrect for her mom bcuz all she was told those years was lies. I witnessed my neice dealing with the anger from youth. That’s why i chose honesty myself. We can definitely teach our kids the differences between good n bad ppl v good n bad behaviors. That’s what i did. Just my experiences with this situation.
I would cut him off. Why would you want someone like that in your child’s life?! Even if that man is the father, he’s not a good person and clearly can’t make good or responsible choices. He’s not someone that should be around a child, ever. That child deserves so much better. I wouldn’t even bother telling him the kind of person his father is. Just cut off the father and move on with my life.
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He may understand a little bit about what’s going on I would keep the positivity until his father walks out of that prison and then I think it’s up to dad and him because he can explain it better maybe unless he starts asking questions I would probably wait till dad gets out
He needs to know that yes-bad people go to jail. But so do good people who made some bad choices and they had to have a “time out” basically to learn to make good choices again. There a lot of GREAT people who served time. There is really never too young of an age to teach that choices have consequences-good and bad.
In my opinion i think honestly is best and not all people that go to jail are bad particularly jus bad choices…talk it over with his dad
Be honest but in a kid friendly way. I’m in the same boat except my sons dad is doing 20 years. I’ve always been honest with my son and told him his dad was naught so now he’s gotta sit in adult time out for a while. I’ve fibbed when it comes to somethings like he cried once about his dad not being able to go to Walmart… I told him they have a smaller Walmart there. I also explained his dad stole and stealing is wrong and that’s why he should never ever steal. It’s hard. But im a firm believer in honesty and kids remember and once they catch you in lies it makes it harder for them to believe you in the future. And of course I hope my son learns from this and chooses not to follow in his dads footsteps.
I wouldn’t lie honestly … kids aren’t dumb … he’s in jail because he broke the law is enough of an answer …
He’s too young to understand imo.
I would just tell him daddy had to go away for a little while
I’d keep saying work 
Give him a few years he will understand one day
Keep telling him the same
ALWAYS, be truthful.
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Truth shall set you free
Jessica Powers want to help answer this one?
Why put adult shit onto ur kid? My oldest son who is 21 is in prison
His lil brother who is 4 thinks he is at college… And will be back when he is done
They talk on the phone and write letters
When and if my oldest wants to tell his lil brother the truth he can
But why make my lil guy think his big brother is someone bad ?
And btw he should not be there in the first place…
But anyway let ur kid worry about cartoons , playing outside and being a kid
Period
Keep doing what you been doing
Tell him the truth. Or the kid most likely start to doubt u and hate u for lieing. Never sugar coat shit… be straight up about everything
I wouldn’t have said anything let his father tell him where the fuck he’s been sorry but now you have to think about how he feels when you tell him the truth. Now you’ve created trust issues where it didn’t belong.
His dad should tell him when he’s old enough unless he keeps fucking up and going back in then you all need to do what’s best for you
He’s 4, so his level of comprehension isn’t where yours is. Tell him something simple. Don’t complicate his life with adult bullshit because his dad is a douche nozzle.
Brenda Hussey,I like the way you think and I agree with you…
He’s too young to tell him
Too young to understand.
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Nope don’t tell him!
I would like to know what the dad wants to tell him. If he is in the boy’s life he should get a say in what his son is told.
Let his dad tell him when he gets out where he was 4 is too young to understand
I would say ur dad loves u dearly and is working away for a while
I would not tell him, it hurts his self esteem and thinking his dad is a bad guy. If he gets out in 2 years he can get a new start. Even 4 year olds know the difference between good and bad. Keep up w your story and time will tell.
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Honestly I would keep it at he’s working
He’s too young to take on that burden
Don’t make his dad’s problems his problems
When he is old enough, and dad can tell him, himself, then let it be
I choose not to tell my kids their dad cheated on me and that’s why I left, and then he told them later when they were teens
It all worked out for the best
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Never lie to your kids but always tell age appropriate. Make sure you always enforce that what happened is not their fault. Kids always want to take on the pain . Explain daddy made a mistake and he had to go away for awhile. That things in life have consequences. Then use daddy’s mistake as a lesson. I’ve been through the same thing. Maybe you can keep your child from making the same bad choices . I’ve been through this before. Most kids want to know and understand.
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At 4 years old he doesnt need to know that daddy is in jail. That’s a little too young. You wouldn’t him to pick up the reputation of saying his dad is a bad guy and that he is in jail, especially not to his friends. Just keep up with telling him that he is at work.
No, I would tell him the truth, that dad made a bad decision, not that he was a bad person and if we make bad decisions sometimes we go to jail.
Just tell him the truth n have nothing to remember. Just like u Stated, he made bad choices n found himself in a mess. Tell him that he is a good person. If u don’t tell him your relatives , friends n others will tell him in a not so good way. He should hear from u first.
I don’t think he needs to know. I think saying he’s at work is fine. Hopefully he’s working on himself while away so it’s somewhat true 
Much to my two son’s dismay, I over share and educate way too much. My husband was incarcerated more than once. The first time my oldest was around 6 and saw him not come home after a court appearance. He was devastated and it still does today, 20 years later. My youngest was 4 and I told him daddy was at work. He was ok. He knows now that his dad was in jail and is better off for the lie. He was old enough to understand the circumstances when he was told the truth. I think it’s ok to lie now and wait until he’s older and able to understand.
I told my nephews there mom was in jail because of the bad things she did they knew there mother would rather do drugs than to be a mom to them they were 6 and 4 and they never remember living with her only with me and when I got the baby out of the hospital because she did drugs up to the hour before she gave birth and the baby almost didn’t make it he was in the hospital for 3 months well when he came home I went to court to get full custody of all 3 boys and the courts said I was in the wrong by telling the boys were there mother was but yet I had to take the boys to see her every Sunday while in jail but I have always been up front with my kids the baby my husband’s and I ended up raising him and he calls us mom and dad but also grew up knowing who his bio mom is so I believe honesty is the best way to go kids understand more than we give them credit for my son is now 27 and a wonderful man who still calls us his parents and still comes home and helps me with his dad when I need him