Too young, tell him when hes old enough to u understand the conversation. For now keep him in a place where hes happy knowing daddy is “away working”
I told my daughter to the truth, when she was younger I told her, that her daddy made bad decisions and is in adult time out that why he can’t be with her. But as she got older I had to explain to her that adult time out is actually prison.
I lied to my eldest 2 girls n told them dad was away working biggest mistake I ever made lying to protect the kids image of him.unfortunately over the years he liked jail more then the outside.the kids now hate him because he never got off the drugs and now they are 16 n 17 and refuse to even acknowledge him when he has his now “holidays” in the real world. He always ends up back home (jail)
YouHe made some bad decisions and is in a time out to be punished. Your daddy loves you and always will… When he comes home he will make better decisions in his life.
Lying to your child is never the answer it will make them not trust you in the future. I would be as honest with him as possible on a level that he can understand. Basically let him know that his dad did something wrong and now hes in time out.
I told my kids when their dad went to prison… I told them their daddy did something that was against the rules so he got put in a “big boy time out”… I would talk to the dad about it before you tell baby and make your decision… My kids dad told me to tell them he was working but i chose to tell them the truth because i wanted them to know that there are consequences for their actions and i believe it was a learning experience for them… They were 2 and 4 at the time…
I would tell the truth. Just explain it like when he does something wrong, he gets in trouble and has time out/grounding and sometimes adults have to have those things too. So jail is the place he has to be while he is punished for doing something wrong.
That’s hard! I think I’d just keep it like it is for now. I’m a substitute teacher and there was a boy a few years back 6/7 years old in first grade. Everytime I subbed his class he wanted to tell me all about his dad being in jail. He was very troubled though. He cried alot and would ask me “why did my daddy have to do bad things”? And he would act out, run out of class and was also having to see a therapist. I’m not saying it will affect all children this way, your son may handle it well. But you never know how he may react.
Your doing the right thing…
I’ve been in your shoes and it is challenging. However, what you are doing is age appropriate and in the best interests of your child.
If it gets to be too much, start telling your little one; We will have a big talk about things when you turn 16.
I have now said it to my children so much they know a big talk is coming and they have incorporated the “when you 16” into their play. Lol
You dont need to tell him why he’s in jail other than he made some bad decisions but you should tell him before it slips out from someone else.
Just tell him dad off working out of town. Most likely he is working in there. Not technically lying. That’s what I told my kids
4 years old is too young to understand this. When he is old enough - later" you can tell him that his Dad made some bad choices instead of saying he is a bad man. You don’t want him hurt or feel ashamed-because of it
I explained it to my son when his dad was in jail like I did when he got in trouble I told him that you know how when you do something bad that you go to time out i just said his dad was in big boy time out not because he was a bad person but because he did something bad
You could tell him that his dad is working on being a better person because he made bad choices in the past.
We told my great-niece he mommy was in adult time out.
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I’m always honest with my kids. I feel like the world is ugly enough why should I the one person they trust lie to them? I’d find an age appropriate way to tell him but I’d definitely do it. Your lying to your son and making him think is dad is away doing something good. He’s in jail and for a reason. Teach him the truth not all people who r in jail are bad we r human and make bad decisions but doesn’t mean your bad
I’d be honest. It doesnt have to be made to look bad. It could be turned into almost a lesson for ur child to learn from, making bad choices will cause u to have to pay the consequences. Use as a way to help teach ur child right decision making. That’s what I would do…but alas, I’ve never been in this situation so idk…best wishes to u❤
Be honest so he doesn’t think daddy doesn’t want to come home from work to see him.
Be honest with him. Telling him the truth, it will make him respect you more. If you lie and he finds out it will be worse.
Hes a baby. " work " is fine. He doesn’t need to know that.
Well all I got to say is good guys don’t go to Jail you have to be bad or broke the law so tell him the truth that his dad did something bad in now hes in prison for it
You do not need to tell him his dad was bad.He made a mistake and he will be home with us having learned not to do it again.You never tell your kids someone in their life was bad.
Daddy made some bad choices,but he loves you very much. Daddy made some bad choices,but daddy is not a bad person. It is all about choices. It is better he hears from you instead of finding out from somewhere or someone else,even when he gets older.He is not to young,just make sure to explain in terms he can understand,that sometimes good people make bad choices. Everyone makes mistakes.
Firstly not all people who are in jail are bad people maybe ammend that belief to people who do bad things go to jail. Secondly don’t do that to your young child and his father. When he is old enough his father should be the one to tell him.
He will know eventually. It’s better to just tell him. At least when he’s older he won’t be angry about dad being in jail AND mom lying to him.
Your call…the only thing is, when he gets out, everytime he goes to work, your child will think he is not coming back. It will probably take a long time for him to realize…
I wouldn’t tell him he’s locked up until he’s able to understand more…but I wouldn’t tell him he’s at work either, just that he’s not able to be with him right now
He is 4 he dont need to know ?? Why is this even a question?? Would he understand anyways ??? Let him think his dad is working and Let him have his Relationship with him… That’s all …
Truth. Just tell him Daddy made a bad decision and didn’t weigh the consequences.
Change the conversation about bad people in jail.,and once you and his father tell him the truth are you prepared if he ask to visit his father.,so think this completely thru.,a prison visit is different
I have 3 kids by my ex husband, I left when they were little 3, 2, and 6 months. I have always been very open and honest with them. People make mistakes and have to pay the price for it and they need to know that. Still to this day I dont regret it because they know that their dad was gone because of his choices and not having anything to do with them so they dont feel like its their fault. Kids internationalize everything. They are also in counseling as well not because “anything” but to help sort their feeling out that they might not be able to express with me. They are now 14, 13 & 11.
Tell him the truth, his father just made some bad choices that he has to face the consequences!! He loves him and will be in his life soon.
Myself, I would tell him but try to keep it simple, lying to him now may cause him not to be honest later.f you dont tell him he’ll may find out from someone else,
Age appropriate honesty will always be the best way to go!
When he talks to him on the phone, he never hears the message “This is (insert here) Correctional Institution, all call are being monitored”
My cousin told her kids he’s in a big time out… lol and kind of left it at that
It’s more when he really starts asking questions and stops believing what you are saying. Like on a 3 year old saying that storks bring babies may work. To a 10 year old that won’t work. So let him lead you on what answers work. If he is fine with the answer you are giving then go with it. As he gets older then see where things stand.
I would let your husband tell him with you there when he gets out. He is only 4, I’m guessing he will be starting kindergarten. I wouldn’t put this on him now. I think it’s best from the Horse’s’ Mouth.
Maybe tell him closer to his release when he is older.
I think you should keep it the way it is and let his father explain it to him when he gets out.
Please be extremely, extremely cancel When approaching your son with this conversation. Number one he’s very young so you have to remember not talking to an adult. Small words and short conversation… don’t lie to him. That was done to my nephew and when he found out the truth at 16 years old he was never the same after that as far as a relationship between him and his mother. That was 35 years ago and I don’t believe they have spoken since
The truth is best and use what you said he’s not a bad guy but made a bad decision
I can tell you from experience kids need the truth no matter how much you try to shield them. It is harder on you to tell the truth then it is on them. They ever find you have lied they will use it against you
He is two. Nothing now. Preserve Father’s character as long as you can
Don’t tell him. Just will mess with him. When older, then you can explain if necessary but no.
He can find out truth when older if need be. Leave it for now
I explained ‘big boy time out’
I said sometimes Daddy’s don’t listen to the rules and then they have to go far away to big boy time out for a long time. Then soon they won’t be in trouble anymore and they can come back.
Be honest as you can with a 4 year old , it’s not right to keep the lie going
How much longer will his dad be in there? I’m gonna have trouble explaining to mine that his dad died.
I think he is too young today right now. People may ask him “where is your dad $”. And he might just tell them.
Yes don’t tell him he is too young to deal with this, fathers are their hero,s
My twins r 8 now and I’ve just been honest with them from the beginning…but as soon as my girl twin could talk she’d ask any grown man she saw like in the grocery store “will u be my daddy??” It was heartbreaking!
Just put it on hold for now. You can tell him when he is a young adult and can understand it more.
I wouldn’t tell him. My friend told her kids their dad was on jail, the son grew up hating his dad.
I’d keep telling him daddy is working, his dad should tell him when he is out of prison
B honest wit him daddy made a mistake& he’s in a place where he has to make up for that mistake. When he’s done then he can come home.
Keep the work concept up… his dad is his hero in his eyes…
Tell him he’s at work. My daughter is 8 and I tell her that her aunts ate on holiday/ vacation when they check themselves into mental health centers.
Daddy is on a time out. He did something naughty. As he gets older time out for adults is a place called jail…
Be honest to the child never lie to them That hurt more. Limit the details but be honest
Hes at work. That’s not a burden a 4 year old needs
I tell my kids my husband is in time out and that we aren’t sure when he’s going to be out of time out
I’d be as open and honest as you can to an extent since he’s still pretty young
I would leave that conversation to dad…he is t hug e one who made that choice and he should be the one to have that conversation…
I tell mine due to the dad not being out tell kid us about 12 that dad got in trouble and has to deal with the problem from getting in trouble.
He’s not too young he’ll under stand what you are saying please be truthfully with him he will learn sooner or later what prison is
My daughters father was in jail for her birth.
I still to this day (11 years later) tell her he was working and unable to come back.
Let dad explain in tbe next phone call in simple fashion why he is not thwre.
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I wouldn’t tell him, wait until the dad is out and then let the dad talk to you son.
100%. Daddy s in time-out, just like when you don’t behave you go to time out. Well daddy didn’t follow the rules and has some time out to do too
I would only say dads gone or dads busy & maybe put his dad in charge of that
The truth. When he finds out for himself he will want to know why you lied to him.
No don’t tell him it would probably break his heart when he is old enough to understand and let it be his dad that tells him
I miss spelled I mean talk to God but I think he is to young tellhi later about his dad when he can handle it I hope this he!PS my heart goes out to you sir
When I was in jail for like a year my mom told my daughter in was away at school.
I believe u should b honest with them if there asking there no reason 2 keep it from him
We tell our kids that daddy is on vacation for a while… 
I went through this with both my kids. We told them that he was working while he was serving 3years. We aren’t together anymore but hes out and sees them regularly. It’s not my place to tell my kids where he was, so I’m leaving that up to him when he’s ready. But he will tell them eventually. They’re 8 and 6 now and i think it’s still too young. To each their own.
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I told my 4 year old he was in big boy time out
4bto young to understand . Maybe tell her years later
What does 4 year old say when the recording during the phone call says the caller is from a prison?
He’s small he don’t need to know… not at 4,5, or 6. If he was 10 or 11 yeah but not that small
Have you talked to his dad about it? I would see what his insight is
I worked in a prek class and had a 4-year-old tell me daddy made a bad choice and is in big boy time out.
What does his dad want you to tell him? Do that.
I’d stick with “he’s gone to work”.
Don’t tell him right now. He’s too little to understand.
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I would tell him and be 100% honest it’s not a bad lesson for him to learn
I was raised to tell the truth but in this he is so young this is a hard died ask
Be honest. Sometimes people go to jail for doing bad things, but not every person in jail is bad. My ex husband (6 year olds father) is in prison, and I had to tell him so. I will explain why later, but for now he knows its because he hurt him and his brother, and hurting people is against the law.
Kids aren’t stupid, talk to them like little adults and they will usually understand.
Hes young enough id leave it how it is right now. 2 yrs left hell b only six I wouldnt put that weight on his shoulders
Im sorry your having to deal with this. I want share with you this is the same thing that happened in my life 35 yrs ago and I had a 4 yr son and a newborn .
Anyways I prayed a lot and I mean a lot and one day my 4 yr old was playing outside and he come running in the house and mom come look Jesus is in the sky saying don’t worry son your daddy will be home real soon, my son kept saying mom look.
Well my husband was sentence to 5-25 yrs and so I finally agreed with son but told I’m sorry daddy won’t back for a long time and explained to him what his daddy did and where he was out. My son said but mom Jesus said real soon and do you know his lawyer called me that afternoon and said be at the court room at 9:00 am they’re bringing my husband back and putting him on probation .and the next morning it happened a miracle from God. Now my son is 41 and is a strong believer in God.
Im sorry I took up so much of your time but I wanted to share this with you. And who knows miracles are done every day
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I went to jail for 4 months when my girls was 3 and 5. I told them myself that I was In Jail for making the bad decision I made. I talked to them every evening (which helped them understand how jail worked). It is very painful to be in this situation. I cried so many times. And because of my decision , I hurt them. Because the cry of mommy you wasn’t there for this soccer season or mommy you missed my awards ceremony. But now it is 12 years later and they do from time to time talk about the time mommy went to jail. We are very close family and my husband was very supportive of telling them the truth. Believe me when I say always being truthful is best when it comes to your children. Your bond will be stronger in years to come! I Wouldnt change that part of my life tho because without going to jail i might of turned out a lot different than I am now. I Love my family.
If you start with a lie then your relationship will go down. when They get older they then will start to understand that you lied to them! It’s hurtful to be lied too.
jo jhuth ache k lie bola jaye… oe jo sch ache k lie chupaya jaye… vo kbhi galat nhi hota…bacha h apka or unka… vo baat krta h apne father se…pyar to ho hi gya use… kyu bta rhe ho… jb 2 yrs or hai… bada hoga apne ap pta chl jayega. or jruri nhi ki bde hoke bhi use past btay jaye. 
be strong… he ia just 4 years
The truth my girl. Life isn’t perfect and that’s okay.
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My daughters fagher was arrested for 2 yrs when my daughter was about that age. She is 17 now and is having a great relationship with her father. When she asked me where her dad was during that time I just simply told her " Daddy had to go away to a school where he is learning a lesson he will be home as soon as he is able too" that seem to gk over just fine I wasnt lying he was doing time to learn a lesson from his past mistakes.
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Have his father tell him when he is old enough to understand
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Make it a learning experience, explaining it to him like he will understand. Kids are very smart
He doesn’t need to know the truth right now.
Well if u taught him bad people go to jail and that’s where his dad is then u can’t go back on that now. If he shouldn’t be labeled “bad” because of his 1 bad decision why would u place that label on all people in jail to begin with? I know that’s off topic but it’s just a bit hypocritical in my opinion. Maybe you should explain that sometimes good people do bad things and they have to go to jail until they can be good again. Idk just a thought.
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