How long should you date before you get married?

I’ve known my boyfriend for over a year, but we just got together this past Oct, but I feel as if he is the one for me. We have already started about marriage, I know, but it feels so right with him. How long should you wait to get engaged?

19 Likes

My husband and I dated for 6 months before we got engaged. We were engaged for 3 days and got married. We have been very happily married for 9 years in February. He is my soulmate and best friend. Sometimes you just know.

3 Likes

There is no right length of time its what ever u feel is right. My parents dated 2 weeks got married and been together almost 40years. I dated my ex husband 6 years and divorced after 4 years if marriage. And my new husband dated 4 years before getting married

1 Like

However long you feel is good…

3 years - 5 years. If it’s real live together , do everything a married couple would do and just dont get married yet. If it’s real itll last those few years. If it’s not you saved yourself from divorce :woman_shrugging:

4 Likes

To be honest go with what feels right for u i was dating my husband for 2 months before we got engaged and weve been together 10 happy years always go with what u feel

1 Like

If its right its right. Take your time nothing wrong in talking about it.

1 Like

I ment my husband in end of July and September’s 14 we were married

Its completely up to u. Ive only been with my husband a year (technically not legally married yet due to covid) but hes the father of my 2 children and I couldn’t have asked for anyone better

I’ve known mine for 22 years. Hadn’t seen him in over 10 years he came home and 2 weeks later we got married that was 4 years ago

1 Like

It depends on your story. Was together 8 years before engaged, engaged for 2, married at 10 years together and then divorced after another 10 years (almost 20 years together). You will feel it…just don’t rush it

Get to know him. Inside and out. Live with him for a while and see how he is patience wise, how he is in the morning and night, when he’s drunk (if he drinks), when he’s sad, and all other emotions. What is his hygiene like? What happens when the puppy dog phase ends? Is he still sweet, caring, and attentive?

Get a feel of how he handles things, his habits, and how he lives.

You don’t want to dive right in and find out that you like things one way and he a compeltely different. You guys may be able to compromise, but get a feel of the life first. Divorce is a lot more expensive than just separating.

This isn’t saying to not get married, by the way. Good luck!!

7 Likes

I got married 6 weeks after meetings…

Don’t be like me.

My husband waited to propose to me until after we had been together over a year and when we got married we had been together for almost 4 years. Last month we celebrated 7 years married and in January we will celebrate 11. You will know when its right but just please be sure. Marriage should not be taken lightly and rushed into. Good luck hun!

My husband and I started dating in December and was married by July, we have been together five years this December 16th

Go with what you feel. I’ve known my husband was “the one” since shortly after we started dating. We both take marriage very seriously and he was very nervous that it would change our relationship. He proposed on our 10 year dating anniversary, I was pregnant and I cried for a solid 5 mins before he said “so…is that a yes?” And I yelled it is about damn time. I would have married him 6 months in but he needed to be ready and get over his nerves. I was more than willing to wait. We waited another year to get married and have been married for about 1.5 years. I am happy and wouldn’t have it any other way. Do what is right for you both, there is no timer for when it should happen. :heart:

Take ur time dont rush it. He will ask you when he is ready.

I met my husband.we dated for 4 months and got married been together for 47 years you just don’t know all relationships are different…

There’s no right or wrong.

What did/n’t work for others might not give you the same results.

As you all talk about marriage, get an idea about:

• how they handle finances (when one is a spender and the other a saver, it can cause conflict; knowing ahead, you can prepare how to work it out)

• how they want to parent (disagreements on child rearing factor in some divorces)

• how they handle conflict, disappointment, setbacks, hardship, etc

& other difficult/challenging topics

Maybe premarital counseling through your church, if you are of faith, for reassurance.

Best wishes.

If it’s right, then what is the harm in waiting? Why rush? I mean do what you want. But I never understood the need to rush into marriage. Marriage doesn’t make a relationship. It’s basically just a piece of paper.

2 Likes

We were dating for 6 months got engaged and married 6 months later. First year was horrible. Luckily it got better

Me and my partner have been together for more than 2 years, already have a 6 months old baby because thats what we wanted…still not married or engaged. We both want it,but need money and it is not my move to make at the end of the day :rofl:
But I know it is going to happen💗

Was with my ex for 5 years nearly and never felt like I want to marry him though… :expressionless:

I’ve been with my (husband) boyfriend for 25 years. Haven’t thought about marriage. Honey it’s up to you. Talk to him. Remember communicating is the biggest part. Love and enjoy your life

1 Like

Go with what feels right. I was with my fiance a year amd a half… Due to marry in Dec. He passed away sept 22. Dont worry about what people think…do what makes you happy. I wish we hadnt waited💔

2 Likes

My grandparents met, married 3 days later, and were married 65 years. My husband and I lived together 2 years, and have been married 32 years. If it feels right, and your ready for lots of hard work, then do it. Marriage isn’t for sissies or quiters!

We were married after 6 yrs of dating

We got engaged after a month; married a year later and just celebrated our 30th anniversary.

Pffft I dated 5 years moved in 2 before marriage falk take your tim e

2 Likes

Up to you and your SO. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 11 years and we are in no rush to get married. We have a 5 year old son together too. Hes back and forth on the marriage idea and I want to get married!! We are both committed to each other and we’re happy just doing things our way.

Depends. My husband and I dated 11 years before we got married

That’s such a hard question. Both sets of grandparents married supper young. Dads parents at age 14 and stayed married till he died at 95. Moms parents married at 15 and stayed till grandfather died at 98. My parents were a hot mess.lol if it’s right it’s right. Just know there will be things you will have to work through all the time. It takes a lot of work and I feel the sooner you marry the more work it is. Just make sure you know as much as possible about thoer mental health, etc.

We just celebrated our first wedding anniversary August 31st… We’ve been together 13 years… :sweat_smile:

We dated for 1 month before we got engaged
Were engaged for 1 year before we got married
Have been married for 3 years with 2 kids

there is no set date to date somebody before you get married because it doesn’t matter. If you want to run off and get married do it. honestly I wasn’t with my husband long before we got married at the courthouse and we’ve been married 13 years!!! I don’t ever believe you should date somebody that long before you get married or even move in together because honestly sometimes people do not love at first sight and want to go get married and they’re together three years you know what I mean. there’s no reason to date somebody for 5 to 8 years and then be engaged for two or three years shoot you’re legally married by 7 years and when I mean legally married I don’t mean legally on paper I mean you’ve been together so long they consider you technically married. I think my mom said it’s like 5 to 7 years. farpoint can’t nobody on Facebook actually answer your question because it’s up to you and that guy. It’s honestly not up to five million strangers on Facebook you know what I mean. Because it’s in your heart and in his heart you feel like you should be married and not wait 10 years down the road then that’s what you should do get married I mean it’s your choice. I read all these comments where these people believe they should be together 8 to 10 years engaged two or three years. I mean that’s a marriage right there. you’re already in a 13-year relationship you might as well been married all that time. I mean shoot my girlfriend with even cheating on her sorry but boyfriend back then and got married to the guy not long after and they’re still married. and shoot there’s some people that don’t even get married there just together for all those years like Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. They’re not actually married on paper they’re just together they said they got married on paper it didn’t work out that got divorced a few years later got back together. Never got married again after that they just stayed together. My husband knows a couple that did something like that they got married after being together so long their marriage didn’t last worth of nothing they got separated for a while and then got back together and just stayed together. So like I said it’s just up to you and that guy.

2 Likes

We were together for 11 months before he proposed. Moved in 2 months later after finding a place together. We’ve been married almost 6 years. It’s honestly If it feels right and if your in the position financially, emotionally, and mentally for the next step.

There is no right or wrong answer. But for me personally I think you should date at least 2-3 years.

My husband and I started dating October 2013, got married May 2015 & we now have 2 beautiful daughters and a pretty nice life. If you think he’s the one, you’ll know.

There is no time frame. When you know, you know.

I was with my husband for a year when he purposed and I was pregnant with our child. We had a miscarriage before her. We got engaged oct 18 2016 and married August 18 2018

1 Like

I mean i have had others talk about marriage with me… and i never agreed to it. I still wouldnt. It just has to feel right… trust your gut.

When ya know… Ya know!!! I don’t think there is a time line anyone should be going by

Wait as long as you can. You do not know someone until after you lived with them for st least 2 years

We were friends for about a few years, then started dating, engaged 6 months later, and married 1 month after our engagement. We have been married for 3 years in March. I swore I was never going to get married until I started dating my now husband. Best decision I have ever made. He is amazing!!

We met at the end of September, went on our first date Oct 7, decided to be exclusive Oct 17, engaged in at Christmas and got married the following February.
When you know, you know!

We were dating for like 7 months and he wanted me to move in. Then after a year we got engaged. We have been engaged for 2 years and together for 3 couldn’t get married this past summer because of covid here’s hoping for 2021.

2 yrs at least give them time to show true colors an than u should be engaged for at least a yr just to make sure

I married my husband after 2 months and we are rounding off 2 years here pretty soon❤️

I met my husband june 2008 started dating November 2008 were married March 2009. :woman_shrugging:

Whatever you BOTH feel is right. There is no specific time frame. My husband and I were together 7 years before we got engaged, then a year later were married. Now we have been together 21 years.

I’ve been married twice now, first time we were together 3 years before getting engaged and two more years before getting married marriage lasted 9 years.
I’m now married to the man who’s party we were at when I met husband 1, and he walked me down the aisle and gave me away, is Godfather to my lads, and best friend since we were kids.
To be fair, now I know what it feels like, being honest with myself I knew marriage number 1 wasn’t right, but I got caught up in it all and had been taught the make your bed and lie in it. I wasn’t strong enough to sto it all, but I also wouldn’t have my amazing boys either.
Trust your gut, and feel empowered in your feelings. If at any point it stops feeling right, speak up!

1 Like

Live together for two years see how that works.

1 Like

We saw each other for maybe 4 months and he went to Singapore for 2 years for work. We didn’t make any promises to each other and I dated other men when he lived in Singapore. When he came back from Singapore we started seeing each other again and about 8 months afterwards we moved in together. We got engaged about 5 months afterwards and we have been married 30 years this year and have 3 sons. Go with what your heart tells you but if your friends and family like him it’s even better to know you have chosen wisely. Don’t worry we have had our share of headaches but it is how you communicate with each other and support each other is very crucial.

1 Like

I’d honestly take your time my bf was with his ex for 5 years and it was on and off they got engaged had a kid and went on a break he met me we started talking and now been dating for a year and expecting a baby boy in January

Started dating my hubby Aug 2002, got engaged Aug 2003, got married April 2004. Been married 16 years. I had a 13 yr old son & a 3 yr old daughter, he never had kids now WE have two grown married kids & 5 awesome grandkids.

My husband and I got married 3 months after we got together… We now have two boys and have been happily married for almost 20 years… When you know you know…

1 Like

Its been 19yrs for us. Granted we have split up a couple of times. This time 3yrs later we just got engaged. Dont rush anything…marriage is just a piece of paper…

1 Like

We got engaged after just under a year of being together. Got a married a year after that. He adopted my son and we are working on expanding our family after 2 years of marriage now. We just knew we were meant to be. We feel completely comfortable with one another and live a great life together. We haven’t always agreed on things and we both like completely different things but we have our similarities and he is my rock. There is no specific timeline to follow, but also no reason to rush

Honestly wished I waited till I saw us go through a rough patch. We never fought the first 2 years. I was wondering how we would even fight. Well it happened and its horrible and can get very toxic if one of us loses control in the argument.

Im going to teach my daughters to watch how thet react when they are broke. When they are angry. When things dont go their way. When you disagree. When hes tired and pushed to his limits. How they are with kids. What their beliefs are. If your minds go in the same direction. How your similarities and differences interact with one another. People can change given the right circumstances and you might not even recognize them when they do.

I’ve been with my bf 8 years and have an almost 3 year old… no set time limit

If you started dating this past October as in last month it is too early to be worried about marriage. Take the time to get to know each other.

My husband and I dated 4 months before we got engaged and married 2 months later. We just celebrated 16 years.

My husband and myself met and dated for 7 years before he proposed. We got married two years later, but I knew after only knowing him 2 weeks that I was going to marry him. We’ve got a 3 year old together and I really would of married him sooner. He wanted to wait for when we did have more money but I had a bout in the hospital that practically killed me and we decided to wait til I was better.

I dated my ex for a year before we got married. It was a shit relationship but I was young, pregnant and apparently full on idgit. The marriage lasted 9 years but mainly because I was a stay at home mom and had no where to go, but I finally got out! With my current relationship, we’ve been together 3 years now and have been living together for about the same amount of time, we’ve also discussed that marriage will not be any time soon as both of our first marriages were shitty and traumatic. I definitely recommend dating for awhile and I HIGHLY recommend living together first, or at least alot of sleepovers. Learn him/her first, see their every day life behind closed doors, get to really know them before tying the knot.

Me and my husband got engaged 2 weeks after being together and got married 4 months later. :heart_eyes: been married almost 6 years now :heart:

Knew my husband 3 months and got married. We have been married 57 years.

1 Like

My husband gave me his number on 4-19-15 and we began talking that day. We got engaged on 7-18-15. We moved in together in october of 2015 (actually bought a house) and didnt actually get married until this year. We would have been married sooner but we wanted to have a getaway wedding and that never happened so with everything going on this year we decided to just go get married.
We also have 4 kids.

I would say wait till you see them in every situation. There is no time limit in finding a partner.

Everyone is diffrent…my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 10 yrs (since highs school) moved in together about 3 yrs ago Just had our 1st “ours” baby. We plan on getting married when the time is right for us, were in no rush.

As others have said, it’s up to you guys. Every relationship is different. My husband and I both proposed (at the same time) after 6 months and knowing each other only a month before dating, had our wedding date set 5 months later and got married a year after setting the date.

I know I SHOULD say to wait because it hasn’t been very long…however, my guy moved in with me three days after we started dating, we got our first house together two weeks later, and we’ve been together for 10 years now :woman_shrugging:t3:

There’s no right or wrong answer for that question… Every couple is different

1 Like

It’s such a personal choice. My hubby and I was together 6 years before marriage.
We have been married almost 11 year and together almost 17.

1 Like

My husband and I married just 5 months after meeting. Lasted 22 years. He passed 9 years ago. It’s different for everyone, just do you. Don’t worry about what people outside your relationship are thinking.

2 Likes

I’ve read 4 years is the magic number.

My husband and I started dating in November 2016, he was 20 and I was 25. We found out we were pregnant in June 2017 and got married on our 1 year anniversary of dating in November 2017. We have been going strong ever since and will be welcoming another baby girl on Monday. Sometimes its not about how LONG you have known someone but rather how GOOD the pieces fit together. Were both old souls that connected right from the start.

No hurt in waiting. Does not change your love for eachother.
I personally say date 3 yrs, live together in those 3…if you still in love after, then go for it.

1 Like

Every relationship is different Im 44 known my husband since I was 15 …he asked me 3 times in 5 years of dating to marry him …3rd time is a charm lol well be married 20 years in April…plenty of ups and downs but totally worth sticking it out. Good luck to you :revolving_hearts::revolving_hearts:

I feel like people don’t really know each other and aren’t really themselves until after 3 years. Or build an ikea shelving unit together, that should bring out someone’s true self lol.

2 Likes

Dont rush just take your time and see if it works out

Since you feel the need to ask this question you haven’t been together long enough. My guess is your young & think every relationship is love. Give it time! Don’t rush it. Once you’re married you’re connected to that person forever. Even if you get divorced. Especially if you have children. Slow down.

My partner and i got engaged at 6 months together :woman_shrugging: each to their own. Every relationship is different (Im 25 and hes 27 been engaged for almost 3 years and have a 2 year old and 1 month old together)

It depends on you. My husband and I were best friends for months. I had an instant attraction to him and vice versa. He accidentally ended up seeing me birth my son just trying to bring me my hospital bag he picked up for me after work. He came to visit me in the hospital the next day, 5 days after I had my son we started dating. A little over 2 months later we got married. Dec 4th makes a year for us and he has been the best father to my daughter, the only father my son knows and we just had our son a week ago. Everyone is different. You’ll know

2 Likes

I got engaged 3 months after i met my wife. 2 years we got married been together now 17 years

2 Likes

Everyone is different. Some people need years, some need weeks. My husband and I I were together for 1 month when we got engaged and 10 months when we got married, we’ve now been together 7 years. We just knew :woman_shrugging:t3::purple_heart:

It’s completely up to you. The first time I got married, we were together for 6 months but had known eachother for 15 years. It didn’t last. My second marriage, we were together for a year when he asked and we got married a year after that. We’ve been married going on 12 years. We’ve had our fair share of uos and downs but we’ve managed and always made it work. He is more the love of my life today than he was when I first married him. But definitely living with someone for about 5 years, first, is a plus. Because it takes about that long to truly get to know a person.

Dated my husband one month when we got engaged. Celebrating 30 of marriage next month. When it’s right you know.:heart:

As long as you feel is appropriate. There is no right or wrong answer. You aren’t required to wait a certain length of time.

You failed to mention your ages. That could be a big factor. There must be more than a physical attraction. You might think about counseling for couples before talking marriage. Trained professionals could ask questions of each of you, revealing the side of personalities that might be hard to accept for a lifetime. Never settle for what is conventiently in front of you. Thinking you can change someone into who you really want him to be will rarely work. Few like to be changed, reshaped.

Was engaged after 6 weeks, married after 7 months, married 20 years. You do you babe! Don’t let anyone tell you what timeline to follow.

6 Likes

We dated for a year and got engaged 2 weeks before our one year anniversary and then married 15 months later.

Just because u get engaged doesnt mean u have 2 get married right away. 2nd when u choose 2 get married that’s up 2 the 2 of u. Its noone elses business. if u love someone and u both feel it’s right then go 4 it.

We were Together 5 1/2 years before we got engaged , 3 kids & home
now we are planning our wedding day for our lucky # 7 anniversary in 2021 :heavy_heart_exclamation:

When you know you know

1 Like

We were married 5 months after meeting, just celebrated 10 years last month. Sometimes you just know.

I don’t think there is a magic number, when you know, you know.

2 Likes

My mother and father were married after six weeks from when they first met. We’re married for 50 years until my father die. No guarantee

When you know, you know. We got married one month after our year anniversary. We’ve been together for 4.5 years, have a little boy and a girl on the way.

I was engaged to my husband 6 months after I met him. Married 2 years later. You do what makes you happy and to hell with what anyone else thinks.

Was engaged after about 8 months. Now together almost 9 years, married for 6 years

I mean, my husband and I got engaged after 3 months. We got married on our first anniversary, and we are getting close to 8 years, and are incredibly happy. It’s about you.