How Many Times a Night Should You Check on a 1-Year-Old? Am I Checking Too Much?

Motherhood
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QUESTION:

"How many times a night do you check on your one-year-olds? I’m currently eight months pregnant, so I’m constantly getting up to pee, and every single time I do, I have to go into my daughter’s room, put my hand on her to make sure she’s breathing, and cover her up again.

One night, I actually woke her up doing that. Which made me think… am I checking on her too much?

I’ve tried to just go pee and then go back to sleep, but I literally lay there and lay there and think about how horrible I would feel if she stopped breathing, and I didn’t check on her that time.

So I get up and go check on her, then I can fall back asleep. Is this PPA? PPD? Or maybe prenatal depression, or prenatal anxiety? Do any of you do the same thing? Or am I really checking on her too much?"

RELATED QUESTION: Is it normal for my newborn to sleep so much?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

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“My son just turned 4 and his bed is still up against mine… terrible anxiety if he’s not.”

“Never wrong to check on them. If I’m passing their room I’m always checking. I still check on my 5-year-old and my 2-year-old while they sleep. It’s a mother thing; I don’t think we’ll ever stop checking on them.”

“Oldest is 3, we left a baby camera in his room, so when I get up with baby brother (3 months and in our room still), I check the camera before I go back to sleep. I only go in if he needs to be covered back up, just so I don’t wake him. It’s a mama instinct to make sure all your babies are sleeping well.”

“My daughter will be 2 in December and I still check on her every single time I get up in the middle of the night (usually 2 or 3 times). It just helps me feel better and gives me peace of mind. I think it’s okay to check on them no matter the age, as long as you’re being gentle and quiet enough not to wake them.”

“Sounds like this might be anxiety. At 12 months, they are outside of the highest risk of SIDS. I would talk to your doctor about your anxiety. It can get much worse after baby is born so better to start treating it now.”

“I only check on him before I got to bed and when he wakes me up (which has been rare since he was a baby, I have a very good sleeper). However, I’ve never been much of an anxious parent (eating solids never stressed me out, for example). I think as long as you’re not making yourself miserable by getting up (considering you’re up anyway) there’s no problem! Just make sure mama is getting her rest where she can too.”

“My daughter is 3 1/2 and I still go in her room and check on her whenever I get up in the middle of the night. It’s a mom thing.”

“I still get anxiety about this sometimes and my daughter turns 4 next month. If it gives you peace of mind get a good camera baby monitor… might help a bit. If I wake up from a bad dream I either have to stop myself from checking on her or I do check on her and it wakes her up at least half the time and I regret it.”

“My daughter is almost 5 and I still check on her multiple times during the night lol; so does her dad if he gets up for anything.”

“It definitely happened with my first, not so much my second but sometimes I do still get up just to check on them both! But maybe a monitor will help, with a baby coming you will want to keep her on her schedule as much as possible.”

Have a response to this question? Leave it below to help a mama out! Or leave your own question and get responses from real moms!

READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

33 Likes
2

Every single time I wake up. (I’m a restless sleeper)

3 Likes
3

My son is 8 now but I probably checked on him whenever I woke up until he was 4 or 5.

1 Like
4

I feel your anxiety and the need to do that. We have an audio and video monitor on our daughter and when I feel that way I simply check

5

I’m still afraid of SIDS my munchkin is 11 months old. But I use my baby video monitor… I keep it it playing on my tablet screen so when ever I wake up I look at it for a moment see her twitch or breathing and can fall back asleep.

1 Like
6

I have a video monitor that I use to check on her (also pregnant so up every hour). But I check to make sure she’s moving/breathing with the monitor

7

My daughter is 3 1/2 and I still go in her room and check on her whenever I get up in the middle of the night. It’s a mom thing :heart::heart::heart:

2 Likes
8

My daughter will be 2 in December and I still check on her every single time I get up in the middle of the night(usually 2 or 3 times). It just helps me feel better and gives me a peace of mind. I think it’s okay to check on them no matter the age, as long as you’re being gentle and quiet enough not to wake them.

2 Likes
9

It definitely happened with my first, not so much my second but sometimes I do still get up just to check on them both! But maybe a monitor will help, with a baby coming you will want to keep her on her schedule as mush as possible.

10

I have a video monitor. I check it before I go to sleep, and sometimes when I get up to pee. Twice a night at most. I do not enter his room unless he’s awake. I’m not a glutton for punishment. lol
Try an owlet sock thing that tells you their body temp and heart rate. It’s expensive, and I can’t speak to its reliability, but it has to be better than going in and checking your child is breathing 3-5 times a night. I would also get yourself checked for PPA, because, while I can see checking baby’s position/making sure they are asleep/warm enough, checking they are breathing after 4 or 5 months is a lot. If they can roll over, it’s not all that necessary. When the new baby comes you’re gonna need that extra 30 seconds of sleep, fr. I’d definitely try to figure it out now. Maybe that’s just me, though. :woman_shrugging:t3:

11

I feel like a complete nutcase because During my pregnancy with my now 1 yr old i would check on my then 9 yr old every time I got up. I have always been like that though. He goes to bed before me so when I finally go to bed and if and when I get up at night I check on him. My sister has lost 2 little ones due to sids and the other passed before he was born and even though he is now 11 I still check on him all the time, I have severe anxiety about it. My 1 year old still nurses multiple times at night so I dont worry much about her but I’m sure once she stops and is in her own bed in her own room ill check on them both a bunch. Your doing great momma. Its anxiety just don’t let it get the best of you.

12

I only check on him before I got to bed and when he wakes me up (which has been rare since he was a baby, I have a very good sleeper). However, I’ve never been much of a anxious parent (eating solids never stressed me out, for example).

I think as long as you’re not making yourself miserable by getting up (considering you’re up anyway) there’s no problem! Just make sure mama is getting her rest where she can too :heart:

1 Like
13

Unless they cry out or obviously need something, none

14

I did that with my first. Dont really do that with my second. But they have a camera in their room that I can check

15

I will admit you never stop checking on them. My oldest is 17 and is till open his door a check about 2 times a night. About a year was when I started just opening the door and listening.

16

My oldest is 3 and i still check on him everytime i wake up to pee and of course my youngest is 3 weeks so hes still in a bassinet by my bed at night.

17

My son will be 10 on Christmas, I still check on him. Not as much as when he was a baby but a few times a night.

18

my daughter is 7 and i stil check on her when I get up to pee lol

19

My son just turned 4 and his bed is still up against mine… terrible anxiety if hes not

4 Likes
20

Sounds like this might be anxiety. At 12 months, they are outside of the highest risk of sids. I would talk to your doctor about your anxiety. It can get much worse after baby is born so better to start treating it now.

1 Like
21

My daughter is almost 5 and I still check on her multiple times during the night lol so does her dad if he gets up for anything

1 Like
22

My daughter is almost two and I still check on her :sob:

23

I wouldn’t worry that much. Make sure bed us NOT against any wall. Both sides open. Children can get stuck between the bed & the wall & suffocate. I always check on my daughter multiple times. She’s 5. Everytime I’m up peeing I check.

24

Never wrong to check on them. If I’m passing their room I’m always checking. I still check on my 5 year old and my 2 year old. While sleep. It’s a mother thing I don’t think we’ll ever stop checking on them

1 Like
25

My son is 4 and I cant pass his room without checking on him which is 95 times a night lol then when I’m going to bed I lift him in with me and I’m still constantly listening to make sure hes breathing, the anxiety never goes away :see_no_evil::joy:

26

Mothers intuition. Do what’s in ur heart to do:) you love her so much she’s always on ur mind. A sleeping child is so beautiful

27

My girls are 14, 4 and 3 I still do it :woman_shrugging:t4:

1 Like
28

I check on all my kids 5,9,11 every night still :joy:at least twice a night but I’m just over anxious I think :sleepy:

29

I always check on my 7 year old multiple times a night and so does her dad.

30

Before I got to bed, Every time I get up & every other time my 1 month old gets up

31

my son is almost five and i still do this. i think it’s just what a mother does i wouldn’t think to hard into it.

1 Like
32

I think u might have slight anxiety. Dont check on her more than once or twice and do you have a baby monitor

33

Get a video baby monitor so u can check without even getting out of bed

34

I think it’s normal. Every time I get up at night I check on my kids

35

I still do this with my 16 year old and my 13 month old is in the bed with me because I couldn’t sleep for checking on him.

36

Wait, we aren’t supposed to do that?:wink:

37

I would recommend a video monitor! My 18 month old just started sleeping through the night occasionally within the last few weeks. I’m still conditioned to wake up so when I wake and she isn’t up, I always check the monitor. I know other moms who have already ditched the baby monitor but I just can’t! I like being reassured that she’s okay

38

Once at most. I have a video baby monitor on my son. He’s now 3 and doing just fine😅 maybe I’m crazy…?

39

My oldest is 9 I still go in a couple times a night to check :joy: I think it’s just a normal momma thing

40

My son is 2 and falls asleep with his light on because he got the whole “scared of the dark and monsters” idea from his older sister. Every night we turn off his light and I wait to see him breathe or move lol. My 2 week old sleeps in a bassinet in our room. In our hospital stay I poked him in the face softly and got caught by a nurse lmao. I couldn’t see his breathing past his swaddle :joy:

41

My kids are 5 years old and almost 3 years old and I check on them every night before I go to bed and if I get up to go to the bathroom.

42

I have a video monitor so I watch “baby tv” constantly :rofl: best thing ever

43

If I do wake up I’ll check through the baby monitor. Our doors are really loud when opening and closing so that would wake them up.

44

I still check on my almost 9 yr old and almost 7 yr old constantly through out the night and I have a 4 month old I’m constantly checking on as well and if he sleeps through the night it freaks me out cause he’s only done it maybe 5 times since being born June 2nd I think it’s normal to check on your babies mama that just means your a great mama and you care

45

I still check o my daughter every time I get up and she’s just over a year probably not gonna be stopping either causes I’m paranoid (my daughter also still sleeps I my room)

46

Mine slept with me until they were 2 and I had a hard time not checking on them if they weren’t with me…fast forward, I have a 13 year old and 7 year old and still can’t sleep unless I check their breathing before I go to bed. :rofl: do whatever makes you feel ok. There’s no wrong answer!

47

I check on each of mine once throughout the night.

48

That’s ok they are only little certain amount of time. You will not regret it

49

My daughter is 2yr & sleeps in the same room as me. I literally check on her maybe twice a night?, but shes also right there & I can hear her. Do what feels natural to you mama

50

To me this is normal… did the same with my first. My second is 2 months now and she’s still in the bassinet right by me so it’s easy to reach over and check her but I imagine I will do the same as she gets older as well… my first is 4 now and she co-sleeps with me bc dad works nights. I have strongly considered the owlet for baby to ease my mind and help me relax a little soooo pricey tho

51

My boy almost 2 when we aren’t co sleeping I check on him in his crib all the time

52

I check on my 18 month old every night, two, sometimes three times. I dont sleep well so its not me waking up to do it but he sleeps so still I like to make sure xx Its each to their own I think though sweet, do what you are most comfortable with. Maybe try to not wake her up when you check, just look for signs she is breathing xx

53

My son is 8 and I check on him all of the time.

54

I went in before I went to sleep and whenever I heard anything on my baby monitor. I was a light sleeper so I got up a lot. Now he comes climbing in the bed with us usually lol. My son will be 3 in a couple weeks.

55

My husband and I check on all the kids before we go to bed from the 8 month old to 8 year old.

56

My daughter is 7 her dad and I both do this Everytime we get up.
Even the nights she crawls into our bed we still do it.

57

Once before I get in bed and then I don’t see her til I wake up at 6:30

58

I thought I was the only 1 that checks on mine several times a night

59

I get up to pee a lot and we have 6 kids age 14 to 3. I still check on all of them every time I get up. If I don’t I’m laying in bed thinking omg what if! And I have to get back up to check anyways!

60

Get an owlette monitor it’ll help a ton with anxiety about whether or not she’s breathing/if anything is wrong!

61

I have loved having the owlet monitor for this very reason! I have had extreme anxiety especially about not knowing that something may be wrong with my babies. The owlet has helped give me some peace of mind and keep from waking up my daughter.

62

I don’t check on my oldest at all anymore but the little I check before I go to bed and then nothing till he wakes up again normally

63

I checked on mine till they were about 16…lol. years not months! Lol

1 Like
64

I still do that and mine are 12, 9 and 4 :woman_shrugging:

65

I already have 4 kids and am 36 weeks with #5. I still check on all 4 of them every night. If I wake for any reason, I make my rounds. They are 11,10,4 and 2.

66

I still get anxiety about this sometimes and my daughter turns 4 next month. If it gives you peace of mind get a good camera baby monitor…might help a bit… if I wake up from a bad dream I either have to stop myself from checking on her or I do check on her and it wakes her up atleast half the time and I regret it…

67

I do it a couple times a night. My older 2 are 15, and almost 14 I peek in either before going to the bathroom or after and my 2 yr old has a toddler bed in my room so I check on her when she not in my bed. Only thing is it’s easier with her because for some reason this child still does not sleep all night without milk

68

I check on my 5 yr old and my 1 yr old every time I get up. I don’t think I’ll ever stop.

69

I dont need to check on my youngest as she still wakes up a few times a night at the age of 1.5yrs. But when she did sleep through the night for the few months she did, I checked on her a couple times a night.

70

My daughter is 2 and I do the same thing. It’s normal and every amazing mother checks on their babies throughout the night to see if they are breathing. It’s called unconditional love and a nurturing mother. :two_hearts: One thing that did ease my mind was using the owlet sock. It monitored her heart rate and oxygen levels. If they were ever out of range, an alarm would go off. The sock really helped ease my mind worrying about SIDS.

71

I still check on my son and he is 16.

2 Likes
72

Before I go to bed I check in my 3 year old and 1 year old. But if I wake up I don’t check them. But whatever makes you comfortable and let’s you sleep. You do you mama.

73

I am the exact same way. I am even reluctant to move our youngest out of our room… she has her own bed in our room but its very comforting to me, having her 4 ft away at night where I can hear her breathing, I can physically see if she is covered up and know that she’s not cold etc. If she wasn’t in our room, idk if I’d sleep. I would be checking on her multiple times a night. Our oldest is 3 and I still check on him multiple times a night.

74

I check on mine that much too and I think the same things if I don’t go to check. Mine are 10,7, 3 and 2 weeks. I have an owlet sock but I still have to check

75

I still check on mine, the oldest is 7. My mom admits she still checks on me when we all spend the night at her place (I’m 30 lol) :woman_shrugging: it’s a mom thing. Do what makes you feel good love.

2 Likes
76

I think that is just instinct. My son is 2 and I still check on him before I go to bed or wake for something.

77

I have a 1yr old and a 6mo old so I’m constantly up checking on them. I have terrible anxiety if I don’t :weary: But it is nothing wrong with checking in on your kids no matter what the age :hugs: I think we translate instinct to anxiety a lot as moms.

78

I still have the baby monitor on for our 18month old and check it several times a night. He is a light sleeper so I can’t usually go in and physically check him without him waking up and loosing his mind and then nobody sleeps!

79

I used to check on mine a lot when he was in the room with me then I got used to him being out the room and been doing better. He just started sleeping thru the night a few months ago so I was always up with him and then Everytime I woke up I’d stare at the baby monitor a few mins. Now I check on him before I go into my room and then I don’t see him until morning. More used to it now. I had to remind myself he’s out of the SIDS stage and stuff like that so he’s gonna be fine.

80

My daughter is almost 9 and i still till this day check on her 3 to 4 times a night and I’m not pregnant lol … my greatest fear is her no waking up

81

I think it may be because u are pregnant and when we are pregnant u worry a lot more… maybe jus try looking in rather than actually going up to them everytime or getting a baby camera … but I’m constantly checking in on my 3 month old when I’m up in the middle of the night as well as my other kids its a mom thing

82

My oldest is 10+ and I still do this :pleading_face:

2 Likes
83

Oldest is 3, we left a baby camera in his room, so when I get up with baby brother (3 months and in our room still), I check the camera before I go back to sleep. I only go in if he needs to be covered back up, just so I don’t wake him. It’s a mama instinct to make sure all your babies are sleeping good :heart:

1 Like
84

Mine hasn’t even moved out of my room yet!

85

I don’t know but I never did that😂 I would do to sleep and see u in the morning lol.

86

Do what makes you comfortable. My first born I checked on him until he was like 10! Lol. Still keep tabs on him at 18! Not peeping in his room while he’s sleeping, but making sure he made it home from work and what not.

87

Kids go to bed around 8pm, when I go to bed around 10pm I check on everyone and then if I get up in the middle of the night ill check on everyone again.

88

Still check on mine now and she’s nearly 12. :roll_eyes:

89

It’s ok to check if it helps the anxiety, just try not to wake them. I understand that it happens by accident. I still do it with my 8 year old ( not as much as I used to) but that’s anxiety and past trauma rearing its head.

90

My kids 7 and I still do it

91

Frankly I wonder why the paranoia, I can understand checking before you go to bed, and maybe once in the middle of the night, or if she starts crying but not several times a night. If you are that worried use a monitor with video instead of risking waking her up.

1 Like
92

I check on my daughter, however she’s in my room. Also I’m working on not letting fear run my life. Don’t let it run you too.

93

Your totally normal… I use to check mine the same way when they were really little. Now I just peak in at them. My youngest is 11 and I still check in on her. There was one night I was working in my home office really late and was about to go to bed so I went to check on her first. Could not find her any where. Searched the whole house 5 times was starting to freak out went to wake her dad and in the process found her sleep in my spot. The one time I should have never checked on her and just went to bed :rofl: I also still peak in at my 18 and 20 year old before I lay down at night.

94

When I roll over at night I grab the baby monitor and peek. If I see something amiss I go in her room and fix. I would say on average I check monitor 3 times a night (after I fall asleep). And I go in her room maybe once or twice a week.

Side note: she is a fabulous sleeper. 830- 830 (usually)

She is 18 months. Been sleeping in her own room since 12 months. She sleeps better away from our snoring and tossing/turning. She slept in her pack n play in our room up until 12 months.

95

I still do this with my 5 yr old anytime I walk by her room. I get anxious if I don’t.

1 Like
96

My eldest is 21 and I still do this :joy:

3 Likes
97

My son is 3 and sleeps next to me most nights & I still check, so don’t worry :rofl:

98

We finally got ours out of our bed at 4years old :joy: but when when I wake after kicking them out I still look at her to put my mind at ease so I can get back to sleep (the oldest is now 5):rofl:

99

Its totally natural but your pregnancy hormones might be making you more edgy than usual. I’m pregnant atm and have found im a bit more clingy/anxious of my kids. I don’t think all the news will be helping anyone right now too, probably a lot on your mind all the time. Better to check and know that kiddo is OK

1 Like
100

I have a 13 year old, an 11 year old and and 1 year old. I check on them constantly. I’m single so they usually sleep right next to me but I still wake up and check on them.

1 Like