How much should they help with?
I struggle with this. I know they need responsibility but for some reason I feel bad having them help with household bills.
I just can’t see having a 21 year old home not helping pay house bills if they aren’t attending college.
Help me out moms. I’d love to hear moms thoughts with adult children.
How much should they help with?
Are they working a full time job? Why take their money just because they’re not in school?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How much should adult kids help with bills?
My parents never made me pay to live at home… I just paid my cell phone bill and car insurance and bought my own foods sometimes that I wanted.
They should have their own insurance and phone bill (paying their part of a family plan if that’s the case), and any special groceries they want. If utilities have increased significantly, the extra. That’s how I was raised. It really all depends on the situation though.
My daughter had to get a job before she got a cellphone… yes, yes, she was 16(6 years ago)
She was also required to make her own car payment and insurance. I’m disabled and low income… she has to work for her extras that I can’t afford. She also gave me $50 the last 2 weeks of the month to help us get by(we didn’t get foodstamps because of her working) Today, she is 22 and manager at her 1st job. SUCCESS STORY in my book☺
I had a child at 14 (different story will tell at another time) so I had to help my nana pay for day care so I could finish school, I paid my cell phone bill, bought food, pitched in on water or electricity bill. Just depends on you. I believe it gets them ready for if they decide to live on their own.
Atleast enough to cover the uprise in utilities and a portion of the other bills. Also depends if they are saving to eventually move out
I think once they are out of school and earning they should help pay bills…nothing in life is free and they will learn the value of money and when they eventually move out in their own they will know how to manage their money.
When they graduate high-school…and not going to xollege
I worked all through high school payed majority of my own bills. When I was done school I paid 400$ a month plus my own cell, vehicle and extra groceries I wanted. It was fair. You can’t live anywhere for even close to 400$ a month. Mind you I grew up with only one parent in the house (single mom, single income)
I would never charge my kid rent. Idc how old she is
My mom never made me pay. I bought my own house at 23. Looking back I wish I would have given her something to help. But I paid my own cell, my car note, my car insurance and anything else I wanted. I also worked full time and was a college student at night full time.
I paid $200 a month after i turned 18, my own phone bill, and insurance.
My parents rule was if you aren’t in school your old enough to pay board. From 16 I paid 150
Told my oldest that once he starts working he will pay his own cell phone bill and help with car insurance. He wants to move out, so I want him to save for that so once he is ready he has a nice savings stashed away. My mom never made me pay rent and I wont make him either.
At 21 not in school they should be working so able to contribute to utilities phn insurance. Maybe even rent. If they were living on their own theyd have all these bills so theyre getting a deal living at home. I was spoiled and not at all prepared for real life.
A few hundred a month and then take that money and put it jn a savings account for them and keep it to help save money to move out. (Dont tell them what your doing) I think it’s important to lend a hand and help your kids as much as you can, the world is already hard enough as it is, try to do what you can to help them get on their feet.
My guys are 20 and 25. Both still live with us and both work full time. We charge them $30/week plus still do chores. They pretty much take care of all the yard work and do their own laundry. We use the “rent” for groceries or dinner on occasion. Can we afford our bills without it? Absolutely. But they do need to learn how to be an adult. There will be no unproductive people I put out into the world who cannot take care of themselves.
I get it, it can be hard out there first starting out, but if they aren’t in school, then they need to contribute some amount. Me and my husband has talked about this very scenario with our son. He will need to help with bills, do more then just a few chores around the house, and save.
I’m a mother and I could never in a million years imagine my child growing up and paying ME money to live at home. I don’t care if she doesn’t go to college, doesn’t have a job, any of that. I’m her mother, just because she becomes an adult does not automatically mean that she needs to have a job, and has to give me money.
After 16 if they live at home and work, going to school or not, they should help.
Still in high school… help pay for gas to and from work, maybe additional 20 a week.
After high school pay your own cell phone, car gas and car ins and the smallest utility bill… ours would be cable at $70 a month.
Over 21 and still at home slap them with that light bill along with personal bills and a rent fee.
Over 23 pay rent and bills like if you were a stranger.
Great question. I have an 18 year old whose in college part time, and wfh full time. Her plan is stay home for two years, and save her money till she gets her associates and then move.
I’ve thought about charging her a small bill as we pay for her car insurance, cell and all that. But that money would have went into a savings for her. Until one day I got an alert her checking account had been emptied. I went to look at her transactions and seen she had transferred the money into a savings acct that she opened on her own. So instead of me going in her room to have a talk with at her about spending till she’s broke, I went to tell her how proud I was!
I feel like certain expectations should be set at the age of 16/17 so when they turn 18 and they’re growing into adulthood they know what their options are and what to expect. Some sort of plan should be made.
Mine paid 50 and divided phone and elec
My 17 year old works and goes to school. I’m low income with 5 kids. He is my oldest. He pays his car insurance, all maintenance on his vehicle, buys his own dog’s food, all his own toiletries and even laundry soap (he requires a special kind) and his cell phone. Somehow he does all this and still manages to save. He does all this on his own! When he graduates I’ll make him pay $200 a month to help towards expenses, but I’ll put it away for him until he moves out. He’s a great kid with a good head on his shoulders.
I was 18 moved out but didn’t work out with the living situation so my boyfriend and I paid my mom $200 rent and bought our own food we wanted but ate meals as a family.
My mom never made me pay rent, and I wouldn’t dream of having my daughters pay rent when they’re older. But, with that said I did start helping ny mom with smaller bills such as internet, electricity, etc. when I was 19.
My mom never made me pay. I only stayed with her for a couple weeks tho. Personally, I wouldn’t let myself stay months without giving her something.
I dont think I would ever actually charge but maybe hold on to money for them like 400 a month and put in account towards a house if they have difficulty saving
Being the child that didn’t help with paying bills when I lived at home affected my adult life. I also wasn’t taught money management by my parents or at school. I think if I was made to pay bills and/or taught how to manage the money I earnt I’d be in a better place now financially and with a better understanding of it. I’m not just talking how to earn and save I’m talking everything from how interest rates work, what happens when I get a loan, the pros and cons of a credit card, etc. I don’t think you’re doing your kid any favours by not instilling in them early the basics of money management. Trust me when I say you can’t blindly believe school will teach them this stuff. It needs to start at home.
When I graduated high school,my parents charged me $100 a month for rent, I had to get my own cell phone plan, and what it cost to insure my car because it was on their policy. Plus I had to help with chores around the house. My brother had the same rules when he graduated also.
I would not charge them monetarily! Maybe charge to put money away?? But I would just have them do housework, yardwork, maybe pitch in on groceries
18-21 and older should contribute something. If not in college then the expectation is at least a portion of rent and utilities. If they were living on their own they’d have to do it all. I started charging my niece when she turned 21 $500. That covers everything, including her meals when she is home and snacks.
It sounds like you are just trying to teach them accountability rather than that you actually need help with bills. I would have them pay their cell phone and car insurance. No more then about $200 a month. I would take that money they pay and deposit it in a savings account and give it to them when they decide they are ready to move out. That way they have some money saved for that time.
I have a 20 year old who still lives at home… who works, but does not go to school. She pays me for her cell phone bill and her insurance. I also expect her to help buy household stuff here and there. I remember throwing a fit because my mother wanted to charge me $100 a month (28 years ago) to live in her house after I graduated. She told me that you can’t live anywhere for free! You have to pay your way and pull your weight!
I could never charge my children for living at home but I will take a percentage of each check and place that money in a savings so that the day they do leave the will at least have enough money for a down payment for their own home
From the time I started earning money(age 14) I gave my mom ½ of my paycheck. She was raising 4 of us on her own and sending us to catholic school.
My parents never charged me for rent…
What does renting a room run in your area. If not in school college or taking classes 500/ month ?
I just paid my phone and car payment until I moved out. My parents would never make me pay anything else because they wanted me to save it all for when I did move out
Charge them minimal monthly rent (a couple hundred dollars) and save it. Then give it back to them when they move out. Adult children need to be treated as adult roommates not children. It’s hard, but there has to be a line otherwise they may never leave. Ours left at 20.
I had to pay for my phone, insurance, & any extra necessities I wanted. I also had to pay for my own gas & habits. My mom still did laundry & food cause she was always OCD about those two things. Mind you I also had a kid at 17 as well. Once I graduated high school I moved out & now own my own home & have a career.
When my daughter wanted a car at 17 we made her pay for her gas. We made the car payment and paid the insurance. We wanted her to focus on school. When we moved and she came to live with us she lived in our efficiency apartment and we charged her $200 a month for the increase in bills. She also was 21 and was working full time.
backs in the late 2000s I paid some rent a couple hundred, when I graduated college I paid 500 a month , 8ts not reasonable to ask, but I know student loans are crazy now…
My 2nd oldest/21 yr old. Rents out my basement with his girlfriend and bonus grandbaby and pays half of everything since he isnt in school. But when I die. He will be prepared for how life goes and Bill’s dont pay themselves. He also is a huge help with his younger siblings.
My kids aren’t that age yet, but I have every intention of my kids “helping out with the bills”. What they won’t know is I won’t be using the money towards bills but putting it aside… so when they do move out, they would have built up hopefully a nice little savings account. It will teach them how to be responsible and they won’t try and ask for the money if they think its going towards the bills.
My mom changed me 200 a month for rent when I was 18.
They should pay for their personal bills like cell phone, car expenses like gas and insurance, and put a little aside from every pay for when they decide to venture out onto their own. They’ll have at least some experience of paying bills and managing expenses.
My adult son lives at home. We charge him nothing , you would have those bills regardless
After the summer has ended, after high school graduation, is when I would start charging. It’s best to sit down and help them make a budget which includes a very small amount for the bills, as well as savings to move out. Make sure all the basics are included… rent, electric, water, transportation, insurance, cell phone, ect.
I have 2 21 year olds and a 19 year old and A 4 year old one of my 21 works the other was but hurt his back and the 19 year old work but does housework and child care for me the other 21 year old pay for his phone car insurance and rent . I take care of all the other bills and food for them it’s really what works for your family.
If I wanted a cellphone at the age of 16 I had to have a job to pay for it. If not in college then they should be working. If working have them pay you rent for a small amount each month keep it and give it back to them when they move out. You could have them pay for their phone and/or car payment and insurance. Teaching responsibility young is good. If not going to college or working have them do chores around the house for “rent”/responsibility
My 20 year old is in college and works full time. The only thing she has to pay is her portion of car insurance and car payment. She offers to help around the house with food and bills but we don’t take it. If she is out and we need her to pick up something she will.
With that being said she has her own checking and savings, she has learned how to manage her money for when she moves out.
I have 20 year old who still lives at home. She works two jobs and is currently not in school. I still pay all of the bills. It has given her time to save money to buy her own reliable car and put money back to furnish an apartment when she does move out she will have some of the start up stuff you need live on your own paid for. She will be going back to school in the fall so she can stay at home as long as is it needed. There is plenty of time for them to learn the struggles of life on your own.
I never took money I feel they are still our babies no matter how old they get
I won’t charge mine. I’ll let them live with us until they have enough to move into their own place. That’s what we are here for as parents
Nope kid needs to move out of the nest. If they are living with me they will pay a percentage of the household bills and then they cover all their own expenses. It will teach them how to save and budget with a safety net.
We’ve always told our kids when they graduated they could live here as long as they wanted but they would have to pay rent just like they would anywhere else (just not as much) as long as they were in school this would be waived. When they are old enough to drive they have to pay their own car insurance and gas. We bought the first car (not expensive) if they wrecked it they were responsible for the next regardless of their age. If they want extras like going out on the weekends, dinner with friends they pay for it. I’ve also always made them take half of any money they’ve ever received (including paychecks) and put it in a savings account. You aren’t teaching them real life if you give them everything. My kids actually spend less because they’ve realized how hard it is to make so little. How many hours they have to work for those shoes or expensive jeans
Make them pay their own car insurance/phone bill. That’s all. I wouldn’t charge my kids to live w me.
The rule in my house was a job or school… if my parents did have us pay “rent” they collected it and gave it to us as a gift when we did get our 1st place. Kinda like a life lesson & present in one
Sad yall would charge your children to live with you. I’d never ask for a dime from mine. They didn’t ask to be here I brought them in the world and it’s my job regardless of age to take care of them.
I don’t have adult children, but I have a little experience in this area because my brother lived with me when he was still a minor until he was an adult. After he graduated and was working I charged him rent. Unbeknown to him I socked that money away for his first apartment. When he was ready to move out I helped him using that money. It is also common for kids to struggle and have to return home at times. My brother has come back several times. When he was in school and not working I let him stay for free. When he was not in school and working I made him pay rent in his 30s and actually used that money for bills. I think it greatly depends on the circumstances. I didn’t have a safety net to fall back on and I am glad I could be that for him, but he might never have grown up without me forcing him to take responsibility.
I would give them an option, if they are wanting move out and find their own place I wouldn’t charge much as long as they are saving money to go towards their own place, but if they have no intentions on living on their own I would take your bills total each month and take the amount of adults living in the home, find the percentage and charge them that.
Electric bill averages 150 a month, 3 adults living in the home (husband, wife, and 21 year old son)
150 ÷ 3 = $50 a month charge just towards electric
I had to pay rent after I was 18 if I wasn’t in college. $50 week. I also had to do chores around the house. That was in 1998. With Inflation….
I guess I’m lucky that mine moved out and at least made enough to share a room in a house. I think I would charge rent so that they learn to budget, but then save it for them and hand it back when they move out, if you can afford to. I don’t know your financial situation…
I don’t ask for rent, however they pay for there own phone bills, vehicle, to help them out i put them on my insurance which is cheaper then having there own and they pay the difference, this also helps them when they get there own insurance not to be classified as a new driver and have high rates. Other then that they are to put a % of there pay in savings and the rest is there’s to do as they please.
I dont have an adult child yet but my oldaeat will be 16 in march we have explained to him if after he graduates at 19 and he isnt in collage within a year hes is responsible for a a quarter of all bills such as rent electric and water and responsible for is own phone and groceriesand car insurance. I know its different for all but thats how i was raised and it taught me the value of hard work im a mother of three
My 18 & 22 year olds both have their own place each (not together) and I help them financially
Once I turned 16, I got my own car and paid the car payments & gas. My parents paid for my insurance. At the age of 18 they started having me pay for my own cell phone service, I just gave them the money since we are on the same plan. I moved out when I was 19, renting a house with my boyfriend and buying everything for myself. My parents didnt pay any of my bills after the age of 18. They help out with my kids, such as watching them so I can work… but that’s all. I’m an adult, I need to do adulting alone. But I know they’re there if I need them
If they were on their own they’d be paying. Figure out a reasonable sum and charge them. You could put it away to give them for deposits to help them move out.
Are they paying for their car/gas/insurance/groceries/etc on their own? If so, I wouldn’t ask for rent unless it was $100-$200/mo for utilities.
So, I don’t have adult children, but I lived with my in-laws before my hubby and I got married. They started charging him and I both rent. Small amount, I think $100 a month. I lived with them from 19 years old until I was 22, and hubby was 20. They put everything aside and gave it all back to us when we got married and he moved out.
If you make him pay rent, what I would do is save that money for him for his own place. Gives him a head start on security deposit and what not. Put it in an bank account too. This is what I plan on doing with my children if they are still living with me after 18. My 15 year old, I make her give me $20 bucks from each check and I’m putting it away for her so she can buy a car (her goal is by the time shes 17), plus whatever she has saved my husband and I are matching her. So if you do charge anything, save it for him. Help him get set up.
During high school I was in multiple sports, worked full time and was in school. My mom wanted to charge me $500 for my tiny room. I thought that way ridiculous since my checks wouldn’t even make that at minimum wage… I ended up moving out ( almost homeless) because I couldn’t afford that. I have a horrible relationship with my mom now and I’m doing this thing called life without her because of it.
My thing is I didn’t ask to be here. I was trying my best as a teen. Asking for money from your child to live somewhere is heartless. Maybe start with a phone bill or car insurance.
I would have them handle their own bills (car, phone, spending money, etc) and pay a reasonable rate they can afford for rent and utilities as if they were a roommate, and then return it to them when they move out so they’re prepared for deposits and moving expenses and furnishing their new place, etc. while also learning budgeting and saving skills. It’s not a child’s responsibility to pay parents’ bills, so I wouldn’t pocket it. But having them pay nothing isn’t giving them any motivation to move into their own place either.
I’d have them give me a quarter of each bill, BUT it would go into savings to help furnish their first place.
Anything that you wouldn’t use yourself, I guess. You would still be paying those bills if they werent living with you so don’t make it so you rely on their contribution, but definitely make them pay for their extras.
When I was 16 I got my first job…I paid my parents about 25% of my take home…I didn’t know it but they were putting it into an account for me later. It taught responsibility…respect for money and respect for my parents.
I’m a single mom of two under 3 living with my mom and older sister. I pay $575 out of 1575 for rent of a two bed tow bath. I also pay for all the groceries smud and household needs like laundry soap and dishwasher liquid or whatever everyone uses I work full time do laundry for my self my mom and my two kids plus do all of the cleaning and cooking… It’s to the point where I’m struggling to make ends meat and my mom says “shouldn’t have had two kids with a loser”. Their dad doesn’t help with anything g and my sister only pays $200 in rent no bills and no food.
Don’t make your kids life harder on them just because they are an adult but also do t let them live life with no responsibility like my sister. She’s a huge complainer and only works part time. Yet her job “”takes up all of her time”.
I never charged my kids anything. The bills didn’t change because they suddenly became adults with a job. They payed their own bills …cars, phones etc. If using my car they topped up the petrol and they helped round the house /garden.
Budgeting is something they learned about in daily life growing up . They knew that bills came in and had to be paid. They new the cost of food because they came shopping with me all their lives. …didnt need lessons on how expensive life was or how to budget for what they wanted .
I wouldn’t charge my 21yo rent. He has goals which involves saving money. He’s good at saving. I’m not. So if living free would help him buy a house in a few years or buy things I couldn’t afford to buy him then I’m not taking that advantage away from him. BUT he helps me when needed. I don’t understand the go to school or pay rent thing. To me it’s like saying you either prepare for your future my way or you can’t prepare. If money is how they’re preparing why take that away from them? Besides they’re saving you money by not going to college.
Eventually you’re going to get sick of your kid just being there it’s to work or to school and if it’s working you decide to live with me you’re going to pay some bills no need to feel guilty you’ve raised them their whole adolescent life you craving them is just going to make them unresponsible adult look at like this if they help pay bills it’s a lot cheaper than paying rent and bills think about that
My daughter is 20 and still lives with me, I don’t ask for bill money but she does get things we need like dog/cat food helps with chores and cooking/cleaning, things like that.
When I moved from Texas and stayed with my parents (I had my 3 children and I was starting over after a divorce) I gave my parents 600 a month (their mortgage price) as well as bought the groceries for the month for everyone. The way I saw it was, they opened their home to me. 300 covered half rent, 300 for my share of utilities and I covered food to make it what I thought was fair. I paid my own bills and they were both wonderful enough to help after school with the kids. If I was living on my own, it would have been far more. They actually didn’t ask for anything but as an adult in THEIR home it was my responsibility to help financially. As a grown adult living with parents they should ALWAYS help financially. With or without children.
My son was paying for his food at 19 working while at home
I lived at home til I was 27 i paid a monthly rent here n there but if I wasn’t paying rent I was cleaning, cooking, running errands, grocery shopping, etc… Contributing to the household is not always financial
If they are earning and have income coming in… then I think a contribution isn’t too much to ask for… and if they are not working then they should help with chores and definitely take care of themselves… ie do their own washing etc… ur not being a bad parent… ur teaching then important things… u don’t even have to keep the money… u could if ur lucky enough to afford too… put the contribution aside for when the move into their own place… or for a car etc… so ur helping them save
At 18 I was paying$400 a month to live in my moms house.
When I lived at home I paid the cable bill half on electric and bought all the food. It was my dad me and my 3 kids so it was only fair.
We don’t charge our 19 year old anything. He works and is in college. We still pay all his bills also. He has plenty of time to be an adult. No need to rush him. He occasionally goes grocery shopping, cooks us all dinner, will fill up my car if he borrows it. He’s a great kid. Some day he will be out in his own. We do like to remind him it’s gonna be harder when he is. He realizes he’s got it good right now lol.
My kids have taken care of their own phone bill since they were old enough to get a job, if they wanted to drive, they paid for all of that too. Once they graduated high school if they chose to live here they pay their portion of the bills for example there’s currently 4 of us in my home, my oldest son who is 18 and graduated high school now pays a quarter of the rent plus a quarter of the utilities every month plus helps with the groceries for the house. It helps relieve some of the financial stress off this single mom and reinforces his budgeting skills
My daughter is in college but she pays the car payment, her part of the insurance, gas for the car, her Verizon Bill which includes her device for college, and other things the family shares like Netflix, Apple, etc. She also brings food home when asked and runs small errands and pays for that stuff. My husband discussed charging her rent but my goal in this is that she would learn to take care of her personal expenses right now. The car is shared in our family but her name is on it to build credit and she mostly drives it (but picks us up and drops us off at work, school, etc).
When my kids got money, they started helping , no free ride in life sorry. All should be helping
It’s parents like this that make it hard for their adult children when they’re fresh into adult hood and still trying to get it together. How are your adult children suppose to save for themselves to branch out onto their own when the parent is wanting financial assistance simply because they’re still there. Shame on you… by no means am I saying they should be there til they are thirty but at least give em a chance to save their own money. Now they should definitely help around the house, that’s no question but asking for money to help pay bills just because… smh setting the wrong example. Maybe you should take a look in the mirror and see why your adult kids haven’t branched out yet
So we currently have two adult children 19 and 18 and two kids under age of 18. My 19 year old is currently in college my eighteen-year-old however decided to take a gap year. My husband asked me you know you should we ask them to start pitching in with bills. I said no because my 19 year old has his own car payment car insurance and my 18 year old has his car insurance and he pays for his actual cell phone that he bought. He’s on my plan so I pay for that but he actually physically makes the monthly payment for his actual phone. I don’t charge them for bills because the bills didn’t go up or change just because they became adults. Now saying that if I need them to go pick something up from the grocery store or anything like that I asked him and they cover it and don’t ask any questions about it.
Now my nineteen-year-old is more financially stable than my 18 year old he does not spend any money like I’m amazed at the amount of money he has in his bank account. He has stepped up a few times this year when stuff got tight and we didn’t know what we were going to do like when the water heater went out once the Sunday afternoon and we had to replace it. that type of stuff we always make a payment plan with him and pay him back because it’s not his responsibility however I’m just saying this to save it I don’t make him pay bills but they help out when needed.
Well they should be paying for their own car, gas, insurance, & phone for sure. Maybe talk to them about paying part of utilities and or food. If I asked for rent, I’d probably set that money aside so when they decided to buy a home, or need money for college, then I would give them that back.
I will pay my daughters way as long as she is a full-time student. If she is not in school she will pay 1/3 of all bills since there is 3 of us living here
One thing I’ve heard of, if yoy feel bad- charge rent… but put in a savings account for them. When he/she goes to buy a house, gift it as down-payment assistance or fix up money.
Or have them help pay groceries or internet or utilities.
When they are financially stable, i want my kids to be better off than i was. Im not here to make their life harder.
You could always charge them a small portion of “rent” and then put away whatever they give you, to then give to them once they move out! If you’re not needing it or feeling bad and want them to learn life lessons on paying for things.