Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How much time is too much time talking to friends? - Mamas Uncut
No different than him inviting them over or going over there.
Lil boy change his nappy and make him a bot bot 
Sure, if youre a single man.
Sounds like he is addicted to the game a little. I made my husband take a break also describing your needs at right time. What you desire in yall free time. Setting a date or time to spend together without distraction is a great way to set yall up for healthy relationship.
Thatās a bit too much my man games too and chats with his friends most days but if I ask to spend time together or for any help he always does it. The kids and I are never ignored for his friends . We make time for everyone.
Seems a bit much in my opinion. Iām not the type to have guyās nights all the time or talk to my friends constantly but that seems like a awful lot and almost like he is ignoring you which is a big problem. Donāt know what kind of shifts you all work or how old you are but it definitely seems like a lot of guy time.
If he is ignoring his relationshipā¦its a problem
Way to much if that is all he does in his spare time. I would not tolerate such behavior. I would give a time limit and after that take the power cord if you have too. I understand playing for a bit after work to unwind but after that itās time to be an adult and put the game up and spend time with family outside the headset. No man of mine would spend HOURS on the game or headset.
Yāall so annoying if itās that deep tell him itās a issue . Or learn to play the game the learn shit we like to do
For a 12 year old boy, yes thatās normal. Their brains havenāt quite figured out moderation yet.
I had that with my ex. I had to leave because the games were more important then his family. It got so bad it affected his work (always late), affected relationship with the kiddos, with me and would never leave the house or help with anything around the house even after he got fired.
No, drop the boy and get yourself a man
Itās an addiction. Itās okay to play games, I love video games. But you canāt neglect your life to do it. Talk with him about setting healthy boundaries for it. Maybe am hour or 2 after work then another hour before bed.
Sounds like a child 
Sure it is for immature adults
I am a gamer I met my husband 2007 world of warcraft he was in Cali I was in Canada 2004 I started playing I got married to hubby 2011 he got is permanent residency in 2013 had our daughter 2015 her name comes from that game it way bonds us 17 years later we still play I have closer friends on there all over the world then I do in this town one of them passed we had a memorial and talked and remembered this personā¦ What I am trying to say ur online family sometimes is closer then the ppl around u yes u should balance ext and he should be spending time w u 1 on 1 but if he had those friends bf u started dating u need to also respect that as well
Seems your man Needs a course in being a adult and have his priorities in order.def have a conversation to be had
Iām amazed yāall are in a relationship 
Perfectly normalā¦for a single man.
When it interferes with family life its not normal.
You either put up with it or you dont.
Talk to him about it. If his game and friends are more important than time with youā¦you leave him to it and get on with your life.
Mt ex husband was like this. He is also middle eastern. I guess itās normal over there?
sounds like your boyfriends is still a boy, But it could be worse, he could be talking to women !!!
Itās honestly normal yes but still disrespectful. I have gotten on my husbandās ass over and over again about similar issues. They donāt see it like we do. Talk to him. Come to a compromise and if he doesnāt stick to it put his headphones in a bucket of water
Oh man that would drive me insane!
My ex was like this. It FELT like begging and nagging trying to get his attention at all. My partner now and I are both gamers. We both have our moods where weāre pretty social. But we also prioritize each other.
Donāt be with someone who leaves you feeling this way.
My ex stays in a Group FaceTime call with them from the time he wakes up til the time he goes to sleep. Through everything theyāre on the phone. Every argument. Through him working. Eating,playing the game. Literally all day long.
No. Start making plans and advise itās a dateā¦not a threescore. Leave headphones at home.
If he doesnāt make time for you regardless of why, he isnāt worth your time.
Hellll no. Sounds like a teenager 
shit wouldnāt fly at my house
Never, ever settle for a relationship that requires you to make all of the effort.
That said, it sounds like he deserves to have you just up and leave (and might not even notice), but if youād rather not for whatever reason, Iād start with trying to compromise.
Maybe see if heās at least willing to give you a day - or even part of a day each week thatās just āusā time. If he canāt even commit to that, Iād definitely leave at that point.
Even that sounds like more than he deserves, honestly, but just an option, I guess. 
Mine games too but he is only this consumed into the game when there is ātournamentā on the game going on. Itās normally last like a day or two then he is back to normal
Leaveā¦
Itās not gonna get better itās gonna get worse (yes worse then it is)
I would send him packing! 
So unpopular opinionā¦We have 2 kids and mine is also a VERY committed gamer, the big difference is that mine makes alot of money as he is also a Streamer but thereās times when he also just plays for fun. So when he isnāt working or Streaming, he is playing with friendsā¦BUT if I need help with something or the kids need something from him or just want to spend time with him, he then steps away and once everyone is happy again he will carry on with his business.
I would set some boundaries but to me it seems as though your partner isnāt really keen on family life and isnāt interested in getting involved with family stuff, seems he might just be there for the convenience factorā¦ meaning you taking care of everything and then he has nothing left to doā¦SO, stop doing his dishes, stop doing his laundry and whatever else you do for him, it will drive you crazy until he gets off his ass and starts doing some stuff around the house and eventually it will get to a healthier place for you and for him
That said, Iāve always made known I would much rather my bf at home on his PC than going out, all I can say is if you do try any of these suggestions and nothing works then you can pretty much count your lucky stars you havenāt married him yet and kick him to the curbā¦he needs a good and proper wake up call
My husband plays sometimes they need thier own time to unwind im 29 been together 8 years 2 kids and I play as well idk as long as the kids are taken care of and we eat together. He doesnāt always get to see his bestfriend but they game together so if heās happy im happy. Women uses retail therapy and the stuff that makes us feel like us again just a guys way. Our 10 year is into minecraft and needless to say we play that alot
Itās something they do to be happy. Itās their friends. But if heās spending too much time with them, then go and do your own thing too. Donāt wait around trying to get his attention, when it clearly isnāt there. Of course talk about it. Itās happened to me, early in my relationship. It sucked! But I realized, it makes him happy, and I also want to be happy, so I found my own hobby where I can be just as consumed. And when itās Our time, we really are present for each other.
Leave and see if he notices ā¦
Dump himā¦ not growed up yetā¦ real men stay away from video gamesā¦ find someone who doesnāt play video games
My husband is the same freaking way but with his online friends on Telegram bc he is an advocate for a coin. Itās all freaking day. All day working their projects, all day when he is not working. Itās a battle I lost. He doesnāt care about neglect. He doesnāt care how frustrating it is. I gave him an ultimatum some time ago but itās stupid. He was willing to divorce over it. So, I pretty much know where I stand. Idc that he does it, what bugs me is the amount of time he dedicates to it. But he can be doing worse things I guess so whatever
Itās probably a feeling of FOMO as he has you ā¦
Itās normal for a gamer. Itās not normal for a man.
I used to work at a truck stop, and those guys were on their phones all the timeš¤·š¼āāļø
Where do YOU play a part in his life? If little to none of his time is with you and the relationship, why do you stay? You deserve much more than this, and I hope you eventually see thatā¦ā¦.
Itās an addictive behavior!
ā¦sounds like heās in a relationship with his mates instead of you.
You know itās really sad when youāre asking this question this man seems perfect in a lot of peoples eyes compared to what people have to deal with I would encourage my man to have his friends to be open and if he needs his friends around he obviously needs his friends around I much rather this over him speaking to 5 to 10 different women or sneaking around with other women this is fucking heaven to read something like thisā¦ youāve got a man thatās all about his guy friends what would be any different than a female being all about her girlfriendsā¦ are you used to drama? are you used to a man sneaking around with another woman or talking to a bunch of girls with ill intent? Talk to him tell him how you feel plan stuff for just you too or gaming seems to be something that he really enjoys so why donāt you ask him about it or get him to teach you something you donāt have to necessarily like it but itās something that he seems to enjoy it would give him joy to see that youāre interested in some thing and it works both ways. I wonder if you have anything he complains about.
He is just a gamer, they all do itā¦ Even my self
Sounds like my 10 year old 
Sounds like a man child to me!
Im single but some days im on my headset talking to my best mate all day only stopping to charge the headset. Most time we playing games but sometimes just chatting
I mean, I honestly donāt see a problem with headset time/video game time, as long as you and the kids if you have them are taken care of and needs met. Friends are needed too.
Childish. If he needs his friends that badā¦ heās too dependent. Can he wipe his butt with out themā¦ he needs to grow up or move on
No because you are there he should be spening time with. Will maybe ask him who is more importantd thid headphones or rou? Good luck honey
Uh. No. A real man understands there are things that need to be prioritized and gaming with his buddies is the bottom of that list.
My husband is also a gamer and waits until our kid is asleep and Iām sitting down reading a book. People have hobbies and things they love to do but thereās a line. Spend time with your family first.
My husband only does this on his game nights which are Monday 7-10 pm and Wednesday 7-10. (I didnāt give him days or time limits lol thatās just what all his friends can commit to every week)
Itās normal for a man child not a grown man.
Sounds like an addiction to me.
Stop cooking that man dinner. Bet he makes time for you then.
Get a headset and controller and tell him u wanna learn to do the things he likes, get involved in the chats, most times if they see you giving effort they will give effort as well. We canāt always assume people know what we want, sometimes u gotta show it rather than say it. Thereās times I get on with my husband I could care less about these stupid games, buttt he likes them, I even go back n fourth with his friends, he enjoys me being involved, it also builds a friendship with his friends as well which he likes because he wants me to like his friends. Give a little, an you will get back. Nowā¦ being on the game 24/7ā¦ probably not the best thing for a relationship all the time, so at some point make notions about getting off to watch a movie or wanting to cuddle or spend time as a family just you guys. Men canāt read our minds just as we canāt read theirs but Iāve come to find their pretty easy to crack the code on. Best of luck hun!
I mean is it really any different than texting or snapping your friends all day? With that said I understand your frustration. My husband was an over the road trucker and would talk to his friends all day on his headset and then I felt like he had very little to say to me. Like how can you talk all day to them and five minutes to me feels like pulling teeth? It eventually got better. He did make a point that when he was home he would rarely answer their calls at all and then it was mostly to be sure nothing was wrong or something. Now heās off the road and I donāt really know if they talk that much anymore or not, mostly because he still respects our time and doesnāt talk endlessly while home with the kids and me. I think talking excessively and not leaving time for the two of you to talk is the problem here, not so much talking to his friends a lot just ONLY talking to his friends.
Sounds like a normal gamer to me. Would u rather him go out and cheat?
Erm ā¦questionā¦where is the time for you and him?..have you not said anything to him about it? So what part of his life you play the part other than being a slave?..sorry but bugger that lovely.
Itās called relaxing,be glad heās at home with you instead of out doing whatever, thereās a lot worse habits for men to have than talking to their homies on a game after work. If you want more time with him you should communicate that.
I was with a guy like this once. Couldnāt stand it! Almost 20 years later and I still cannot stand it when my kids do it.
I lucked out though and married a man who plays but doesnāt let it consume him. He only plays when heās bored and none of us are doing anything with him. 
Itās 
an addiction and is not likely to change. Either accept it or move on. Neither choice is easy if youāre anything like me and canāt stand it.
Have you tried talking to him about it and letting him know it bothers you? Let him know that youād like him to spend some time with you.
Itās okay for you to calmly ask for a little of his undivided attention. Tell him you need time with him too. Is a half hour, or even an hour, a night too much to ask? If heās a good guy, Iād at least give him some time to hear your thoughts, realize it and make adjustments. If he wonāt, then itās up to you to decide if this relationship is enough for you. You shouldnāt have to feel like your constantly competing for his time. 
My fiancĆ© talks to his friends on the phone all day long, when he wakes up, when he drives in the car, when heās working, when he arrives home his phone is always attached to his ear. Itās all about Sports and Crypto, and Sports Betting.
Iāve learned that he needs constant companionship and does not like silence unless he is sleepingā¦ I am the complete opposite and love silenceā¦.I donāt enjoy talking on the phone, and I donāt have a lot of friends aside from work colleagues.
Luckily, his constant need for connection with his friends doesnāt bother me at all, occasionally I get annoyed if he is too ādistractedā to listen to me about somethingā¦But otherwise I just do my own thing and have our designated time together where it is just usā¦ I donāt need his attention at all times.
My fiancĆ© talks to his friends on the phone all day long, when he wakes up, when he drives in the car, when heās working, when he arrives home his phone is always attached to his ear. Itās all about Sports and Crypto, and Sports Betting.
Iāve learned that he needs constant companionship and does not like silence unless he is sleepingā¦ I am the complete opposite and love silenceā¦.I donāt enjoy talking on the phone, and I donāt have a lot of friends aside from work colleagues.
Luckily, his constant need for connection with his friends doesnāt bother me at all, occasionally I get annoyed if he is too ādistractedā to listen to me about somethingā¦But otherwise I just do my own thing and have our designated time together where it is just usā¦ I donāt need his attention at all times.
This seems excessive to me.
Id be a lonely woman, when is the time put in to spend with you hun?
Not that often my bf and I are both gamers, I spend less time on my system than he does on his, but he still makes time for me.
Be GlAd HeS nOt OuT cHeAtInG
Is any behavior or action acceptable as long as heās not cheating?
Some problems go deeper than that.
Yāall are a trip 
How much time do you spend on Facebook in general? How much time do you spend texting your own friends?
I donāt think heās technically doing anything wrong. So before you start trying to get him to stop because āitās not normalā I would do some serious self-reflection to figure out exactly why it bothers you (are you jealous the attention isnāt on you? Are you jealous you donāt have friends like that? Is it just so much you donāt get time together?) Then once youāve answered that honestly for yourselfā¦consider what would make you feel better without being restrictive and selfish about it.
Then and only then sit down and talk to him calmly and honestly where youāre willing to listen as much as you talk.
Thatās normal in my house my hubby is constantly on his system either talking to friends or watching Netflix. After 33 years of him Iām glad heās on there and not in the bars. My anniversary was yesterday and he forgot but thatās normal
Not normal. Real men donāt play videos games every day because they are busy being providers, dads and husvands
Perfect example of not being a priority in a mans life.
Its time to talk or walk.
Thatās excessive. My husband plays comp games with his friends but itās rare and I usually encourage it so he can blow off some steam but he will get off rather early just to hang out with me. He needs to figure out his priorities because you donāt seem to be one.
Itās normal but he sounds obsessive about it. Maybe just talk to him about some much needed quality time. all you can do is communicate your feelings to him. Remember itās not what you say, itās how you say it. Instead of getting upset and angry. Tell him you miss him. Go buy some lingerie surprise him! Make him wanna get off 
I honestly wouldnāt care. Iād join in however thatās just me
I went through the same thing. Nothing wrong with video games unless you prioritize it over your family. I had to beg my ex/baby daddy to spend time with me yet he had all the time in the world to play with his buddies. We arenāt together anymore lol
Some men prefer the company of menā¦Iām not necessarily saying theyāre not coming to terms with latent homosexuality, but itās interesting how many men prefer the company of men. They see women as a commodity, such as how one would have a car for practical purposes, so would a man have a woman. Most arenāt raised to take care of their own domestic needs, so women are useful for making appointments, grocery shopping and the usual household chores. However, so many men really just donāt like women beyond what they can do for them in the household area and also they are elevated socially since single people are looked at as having something wrong with them. His behavior is juvenile, but he is grown so you canāt exactly stop him. He will simply utilize your company until you no longer wish to raise a man child, and then he will find another to take your place, similar to how one would find a new maid, should their current one get done. I do hope you are financially compensated.
Sounds like a boy ugh. Men
When do you get time. Unless heās making money doing it, it just seems childish as hell to me,
It becomes a problem when hr isnāt having conversations with you because heās always talking ti them
When does he talk to you?
People hate to admit it but gaming and all can become an addiction. If they get defensive or spiteful when they canāt do it or when you ask them to not do it 24hrs a day, itās an addiction.
Iād have a talk with him and he isnāt interested in changing, tell him to call you when heās ready for a relationship.
Some pretty low standards in here lol
Heās just a social guy. My husband is always messaging his friends idc.
My husband is a truck driver he gone alot long hrs he plays games on his phone but he sitting here at home Iām not a jealous person Iām going to be turning 65 next month but I get jealous upset and very lonely of needing his time you know just to watch a movie weāve gotten in the bad habit of sitting in the living room to eat dinner itās just the two of us he says he doesnāt unwind from being on the road dealing with traffic and customers etc but like I tell him Iām retired I sit at home I keep myself busy but Iām at home 24/7 I would like company I would like his attention so I get it you need to talk with him and suggest that he sets aside an hour to two hours a night or some time on the weekend just for the two of you good luck sweetie I was married a very short time for 6 years then I was married 28 years to the love of my life and he passed it online and now Iāve been remarried over 11 years so I feel like my whole adult life I have devoted to marriage LOL and when I worked and was busy it was okay but now that Iām home I like company I like his company heās not only my husband but my dearest best friend youāre young nip it now or move on itāll be worse when you have children and someone commented well at least heās not cheating well thatās true but in a way heās cheating you out of time companionship blessings your way and Merry Christmas
Why is a man playing video games. These things are for kids.
Wait ā¦ he cleans? ā¦ lol just jokingā¦ tell him u want him to carve out some couples time. Maybe he doesnāt realize how much time he is gaming. If talking to him doesnāt work ā¦ time to walk
Thatās called burnout babe.
Hes going to work, coming homeā¦thatās stressful in itself. My fiance did the same thing at some point. We sat down and didnt point fingers or anything. Just discussed how I felt and agreed to make changes.
Pretty sure I explained that it made me feel very unimportant and alone and that I understood that the stimulation from playing games make his brain feel good but we can find something to do together that will do the same. That i didnt want him to not play and socialize with his friends but to make time for āusā too.
No, this is a video game addiction 
That would annoy me and sounds like he has a addiction.
No thatās not normal. Thatās not okay. Heās neglecting you guys completely. Talk to him
Is he spending any real time with people who are actually there in person ? If not, yes itās a problem
Get a console and offer to play with him as well. Over here we all play games but thereās also other times we donāt. Healthy balance. Games are not childish, they are a way to have āmeā time. We both have consoles and headsets. Just see if you could join in. Might end up finding a passion you never knew you had.
Letās not excuse the obvious spousal neglect this guy is doing yall. āHes just socialā be social with your partner smh
If heās not cheating or talking with other women, I be find if my man plays and talks with his guy friends--------- would you rather have a guy like that or one that cheating