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QUESTION:
"My boyfriend has a headset that he uses to talk to his friends and play the video game. I'm wondering, how much friend time is abnormal for a man? He will go to work, come home shower, get on the headset. He'll talk to them (and I know they're his personal guy friends) while he's cleaning the room, while he's watching basketball on tv. He'll talk to them and play the game till dinners done and he's ready for bed. Then the weekend comes he drinks talks on his headphone with friends and plays the game all night till he passes out. Early morning he wakes up, gets in the headphones ad game sat Sunday same thing. Is this normal behavior."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"No different than him inviting them over or going over there."
"That’s a bit too much my man games too and chats with his friends most days but if I ask to spend time together or for any help he always does it. The kids and I are never ignored for his friends . We make time for everyone."
"Sounds like he is addicted to the game a little. I made my husband take a break also describing your needs at right time. What you desire in yall free time. Setting a date or time to spend together without distraction is a great way to set yall up for healthy relationship."
"Seems a bit much in my opinion. I’m not the type to have guy’s nights all the time or talk to my friends constantly but that seems like a awful lot and almost like he is ignoring you which is a big problem. Don’t know what kind of shifts you all work or how old you are but it definitely seems like a lot of guy time."
"I had that with my ex. I had to leave because the games were more important then his family. It got so bad it affected his work (always late), affected relationship with the kiddos, with me and would never leave the house or help with anything around the house even after he got fired."
"It’s an addiction. It’s okay to play games, I love video games. But you can’t neglect your life to do it. Talk with him about setting healthy boundaries for it. Maybe am hour or 2 after work then another hour before bed."
"Perfectly normal…for a single man. When it interferes with family life its not normal. You either put up with it or you dont. Talk to him about it. If his game and friends are more important than time with you…you leave him to it and get on with your life."
"My ex was like this. It FELT like begging and nagging trying to get his attention at all. My partner now and I are both gamers. We both have our moods where we’re pretty social. But we also prioritize each other. Don’t be with someone who leaves you feeling this way."
"It’s something they do to be happy. It’s their friends. But if he’s spending too much time with them, then go and do your own thing too. Don’t wait around trying to get his attention, when it clearly isn’t there. Of course talk about it. It’s happened to me, early in my relationship. It sucked! But I realized, it makes him happy, and I also want to be happy, so I found my own hobby where I can be just as consumed. And when it’s Our time, we really are present for each other."
"If he doesn’t make time for you regardless of why, he isn’t worth your time."
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