How often are you and your spouse intimate?

How often are you and your spouse intimate? I am asking because he expects it multiple times a week and says thats the “norm” so is it?


Depending upon your age and health as you age, it would vary. Based on my own personal experience and I’ve been married for almost 40 years, for people in their twenties, I would expect almost every day. In their thirties, at least 3 times per week. In their forties, at least, twice a week. In their fifties and sixties, at least once a week. Over seventies two to three times per month. It is the tie that binds…

Wed, sat, sun. Makes it way easier to have set days. If we didn’t I would go years without it. Cause I don’t care.


There is no “norm” and if one of you doesn’t want it, it shouldn’t happen just because it’s “the norm”


Been married 8 yrs
We have 3,5,6,7 yr Olds.
We average 3-5 times a week


Extremely varied. If we’re busy and tired all the time it could be a few weeks. If we’re not, it could be daily for four or five days at a time. It also depends on if we’re trying to conceive or not


Y’all that say everyday must have a lot of energy and no kids running around LOL


I think if he feels like you guys aren’t intimate enough, and you feel like too much, tell him. Sometimes, we as women, need more. Like, he could call and flirt with you while he’s at work, you could send him pictures. You need to figure out what works for you guys. If you need help with chores so you have time, tell him. If you need romance, tell him. If you need to be stimulated through the day, tell him. He isn’t a mind reader, as to that, neither are you. Talk to eachother. Every couple is different, but you two need to communicate.


2-4 times a week currently because we’re in the middle of moving and lots of big changes that have us constantly exhausted. Normally though, 3-5 times a week.


For me and my partner it just depends on the week

It’s not a specific amount, just however much we feel like it. That could be once a week four weeks in a row and then four times in a week :rofl: it fluctuates with us, depending on our moods (both have mental health issues), our current state of mind, how we interact during the day, our life and many other factors!
More than once a week is normal for some, too much for others. It’s your relationship so it is gonna be different :slightly_smiling_face: don’t do things you aren’t comfortable with


Depends on the mood. Sometimes nothing for the week, sometimes 2-3 and sometimes every day… it should depend on you and your spouse


Once a week or so :woman_shrugging:t3: crazy schedules and work is exhausting


My husbands urologist said 2 or 3 times a weeks is ‘regularly’. But there isn’t a set norm


If your both going 50/50 on house work and taking care of the kids it’s easy at least 4 days a week but if one partner is pulling most the weight that’s more tricky


There’s a statistical average but not a norm. Your norm should be whatever works for the two of you which will include compromises.

Intimacy is a love language for some. When that isn’t nurtured it can create distance in a couple. Keep talking and find out what works for you.


Depends on the week. Sometimes it’s 2-3 times a week. Others were exhausted from work, and we don’t mind. We keep intimacy alive in other ways. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:


Pretty much every day we are home together. We work opposite schedules… but sometimes I’ll wake him up a little early, b4 I go to bed. I would say min 3x per week and up to 6-7x per week. It really depends but at least 3 for sure

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We have been together for 25 yrs (since we were 15 yrs old) and it varies for us. Sometimes being self employed our hours can be long and tiring when our schedule is booked solid so it might be nothing for 2-3 weeks. Other times it could be a few times per week or even daily(sometimes even multiple times). Yes we have kids but our biggest :eggplant: blockers happen to be our 2 pits and 4 cats. Dogs and atleast 2 cats hog the bed!!!


10 years together, every few days if not every day


Sometimes daily even multiple times a day others it could be once a week twice three times really depends on our moods and schedules but we also keep things spicy by role playing adding toys i strip to music we pretend to be strangers we try to keep it fun and exciting and we also flirt and build it up throughout the day I honestly feel like there is no normal it’s whatever works for the relationship but don’t let him talk you into something you don’t want to do maybe try spicing things up communicate your wants needs and desires


There isn’t a norm. It’s whatever you’re comfortable with.
My last expected it everyday. My current, does whenever it happens it happens. But mostly 1-2 times a week (before I got pregnant) now it’s 1-2 times every month lol


It may be the norm for some. But its not the norm for us all. That norm is not my norm for that sort of thing. So communication is key. You must talk about it. If you cant agree on anything then maybe its time to move on. Sorry and good luck

Usually it’s every other day. There have been times we go a few days if we are tired.

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Currently not very often because he is not home much for the time being

When we feel like. There’s no schedule or expectations


Ours is very up and down. At most I’ll say once/twice a week. But other could be more during the week.


Depends on the season we are in. We’ve consistently kept it at multiple times a day every day & we’ve gone two months without. We try to at least at twice a week, but with a houseful of small kids you never know.

I would do it every night if we were able to. But we are exhausted from both working and I’m 23 weeks pregnant Monday and we have 2 kids that I have full time while I’m working. We done it night before last and literally a few minutes ago lol. This is a lot better then before though cause we only done it a few times a month for a while

Literally everyday… hasn’t changed for us

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Not in a relationship right now but at least 2-3 times a week would be my happy medium.

For us sometimes 2x per day and sometimes only once a week another week 3-4 times or sometimes 2-3 times a day for a few weeks it all depends if we can do it during the day, if kids fall asleep early, if I’m not on my period

No not normal… depends… wishful thinking :thinking: 2-3 lol so busy kids work schedules.

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I want it at least twice a day but that ain’t happening :woman_facepalming:t2:


Friday Saturday Sunday and CPL times during the week if one of us wants it

Our “norm” isn’t what I’d like it to be but every couples is different.

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Once a week on ave currently cause I’m pregnant but even when I’m not, still only like twice a week. I’m 32 and he’s 40 and we have a 5 yr old so we are tiiiiired haha

Every day, every other day, whenever we feel like it and whenever we have time lol

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Everyday! Once a day at a minimum!


14 yrs married, twice a week! He works longg hrs and weekends too. We never had an issue ever.

I wish my man wanted it multiple times a week lmaooo he’s too tired from work don’t complain girl I mean unless you aren’t into it??

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My husband drives truck so about once a week unless I’m riding the red tide, then we skip.

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Depends on life :woman_shrugging: it could be 4 times a day or twice a week …

Ours is up and down, depending on what we’re handling. But usually 1-2x a weekish.

Hmmmmm…… “Intimate” :thinking: …… I think I remember that word :thinking::woman_facepalming:t4:


If busy twice a week if not 3-4

Do you have kids/grandkids? We do it every time we have a chance.


Barely at all maybe 2 to 3 times a week :unamused: I’d love to have it more but it is what it is lol


I wish mine wanted it multiple times a week.:joy::joy:

We aim for every other day
Edit to say we’ve been together 20 year and married for 11

Jake Maddock says 3 times a week to have a 10/10 relationship :flushed::joy:

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Multiple times per week lol.

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Usually 2-4 times per week.

I don’t really count? But a few times a month maybe? But there’s other forms of intimacy that we do other than physical things so maybe that’s why?

Is your partner at least willing to put you in the mood for fun time? Or be… romantic or flirty with you?


Sometimes we go over a month without, sometimes it’s everyday. There’s no such thing as normal :woman_shrugging:t4:


2 times a month usually when I’m ovulating


When in a relationship daily or several times a day, if I go longer than three days then I will have issues :joy: I have to have it as part of my relationship :heart:


Depends, right now we work opposite schedules and have opposite days off. I’d say 2 or 3 times a month if we are lucky

There isn’t a “norm”. Every couple is different and there are a lot of variables to each and every situation.


I’ve recently split from my partner but we were probably on it about 4-6 times a week.

As a standard in most of my relationships, it’s generally 3-5 times a week if not more.

whatever feels right for you and whatever you’re comfortable with….

Married 26 years, 4 times a week

It depends. Sometimes we go twice a week, sometimes it’s every day for a 10-11 day span.

Once every 3-4months

every night & most mornings :woman_shrugging:t4:

At least twice a day. Less would be fine, more would be fine. This varies so much for people because everyone is so different. I feel like I won the lottery by finding someone whose drive is as heavy as mine.

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Depends on whats going on, such as work schedules, kid schedules, how much sleep y’all have gotten, if you’re sick, if you’re traveling etc. Sometimes we do it 1 to 3x a week. Other times we go a month.

I think this question is completely relative and what’s normal for one person may not be normal for you. There’s no right or wrong answer here but with that being said even after 23 years together my late husband and I were doing the deed several times a week. We would have both liked it to be more but between having three kids, work, being tired etc it just didn’t work out that way. In the earlier days it was multiple times a day/night most of the time.

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Depends could multiple times a day, daily or every other day …never more than 2 days

Married for almost 9 years, 3 kids age 8, 2, and almost 1. I work about 65 hours a week from home, but I want it every day lol. At the very least every other day. I have a very high sex drive though.

3-4 times a week we have sex but we do something sexual literally every day
My kids are 5 months, almost 2 and almost 4

To each their own… some people have high sex drives some don’t. Some have it high early in life, some have it high later. Norm is what you two have together.

There is no norm at all. When the mood arises we do but others we don’t as we’re either exhausted or just enjoying being in bed together. We’ve been married 21 years and are 41 so things happen when it happens. Means no less love. Sex does not equal love. Sex is great but I love that I am with my best friend over anything else.

There is no normal lol. Everyone is diff & everyone has diff sex drives. Personally if my partner was constantly asking & making me feel bad about it I wouldn’t wanna have sex w them at all.

Wait… you guys are having sex? Been with my S/O for 9 years and I haven’t been touched in MONTHS at a time, we have sex like a handful of times in a year & I’m only 25 :skull:

Everyday sometimes twice a day if I can get it, with kids and work!! But if I go past 2 days I become very bitchy… But everyone has different sex drives mine just happens to be very high!! I always want it!!!:grin:

Every relationship I’ve been in I’ve been told my sex drive is too high. I want it daily, the only partner happy with that was 17 years younger than me. (25 and 42 when we got together). All the others were ok with 3-5 times a week. The way I see it partners gotta keep each other happy and intimacy is very important.

The norm for us is 5-7 times a week. We both full time jobs and we have children too. I think it is just something that is equally important and enjoyable to both of us. Even when we don’t have sex, there is some form on intimacy and that means the world to me. Like neither of us may feel like it and he will still be like “do you want a massage?” Intimacy in our relationship is a big deal and we always make sure we find time to share that with each other :yellow_heart: what’s normal for one may not be normal for others.

I didn’t realize there was a norm to keep up with honestly. Just when you feel comfortable and how often you feel comfortable don’t let him dictate your sex life. Comprises and talking it out and discussing things like that should be more norm than expecting it all the go a certain way

We go months in between tbh. I can count on one hand how many times this year. Pregnant with #2 currently and it’s been a challenging pregnancy. The last time we had sex was mid July. He has also told me he has zero sex drive or urge anymore. :woman_shrugging:

It’s recommended to be intimate 3 times a week to keep intimacy alive which helps towards a healthy relationship… but life’s so busy n hectic for females now. We work, take care of the home, kids, bills, health n well-being… it’s exhausting asf!!
Men worry about work and sex only and that’s why they’re stamina is different to ours.
So whatever works for yous both n the relationship

Honestly, it just varies. Both of us work full time, we’re parents and having time to ourselves is a priority also.
Some weeks we can have sex 4 times a day back to back and sometimes we go almost a week without. We personally try to not go over 5 days without though. Everyone is different and that’s okay. I would definitely communicate with your partner🙂

There is no “norm”…its what works for you. Imo though people put too much importance on the the act of sex. I use to as well…Me and hubs just turned 50…we have been together 17 years. Due to some heath issues the past few years …intercourse was less and less regular but we found intimacy in other ways…Imo its a deeper connection and more fulfilling then when we were having sex multiple times a week every week.

We are both on medications that hinder our drives, so we’re at like once a week, or once every two weeks. Every now and again we might have a twice in one week situation lol. Before we both got on our respective meds, we were around two to three times a week. I’m just glad this isn’t one sided with the lower libido, because that would suck for one of us.

Gets boring too often :rofl: at least once or twice a week for hot sex… 2-3 a week give him alittle extra… not intercourse ya know what I mean lol

Everyday. Sometimes twice a day. My husband has a very high sex drive.

It depends we have been together 16yrs married for 11yrs. We have an 8, 11 & 15yr old children. Depending on how we feel sometimes 3x a week maybe more and sometimes multiple times a day. If we wanted to and was able to we could go everyday but sometimes hes tired from work and im exhausted so we don’t. There really isn’t a norm its just whenever we are in the mood. Im disabled so i have chronic pain from my auto immune muscular disorder. There really isn’t a time neither of us aren’t in the mood usually if one instigates its a let’s go all for it but there has been a few times that I was like look babe im really sorry id like to go cuz im in the mood but I just physically can’t right now because I’m in too much pain or im not feeling good. He will usually give me a kiss and say ok no problem and snug up to me no big deal. Pretty much whatever works for the both of u but thats something u need to discuss and come to a compromise and agreement on.

Folks are very rarely compatible in that department but unfortunately take it personally rather than finding a solution as that requires extraordinary courage … talk talk talk

Married 24yrs, 4kids (17, 9, 8 & 5)…
Full honesty. It varies Sometimes 2 or 3 times A-day, Other times it can be a month. I work 2 jobs, my hubby works 80+ hrs a week. If it just happens that we have A-day off together it is all about us. We try every couple of months going away just 2 of us for a weekend.
Life is busy with work, kids extra curriculars, farm life…

2 kids here, an almost 13 yr old and a 1 month old. We try for 3+ times a week. I get a wee bit cranky if I go too long without :eggplant: :sob:


I think it depends on age and sex drive. Obviously you two have wayyyy different sex drives. If you USED to have a higher one, could be stress or hormone changes.
Other factors are… he isn’t fully satisfying you… you are bored. Did you recently have a child? Is it hard to get out of mommy mode?
Me and my long term partner have different sex drives. I’m in my prime and he feels old :joy: when it’s go time, he truly satisfies all of my needs. :muscle:
It’s what works for YOU!

People actually schedule days? Lmao…more like when you both feel like it…

Everyone’s “normal” isn’t the same as the next persons.

There’s no true norm. Everyone life is different. He’s telling you this to guilt you and gaslight you. Make you feel crazy and feel bad if you say no. When in all honesty there is a such thing as marital rape and that’s corrosion and manipulation. Reading these words was like being taken back in time with my ex. I have a permanent restraining order against him and I’ve been to a therapist who was also a lawyer and was ready to file charges but it had been over the statute by the time I sought her services.

Everyday. Whether it’s a quickie or passionate or down right dirty; we make time for it because sex is amazing tool in keeping your relationship healthy, fun and fresh.

Average is dependent upon multiple variables.


This is sooo cringeworthy! All I see is that your saying no and your husband is trying to make you feel like there is a “norm”
that you are “not adhering to”
… there’s alot wrong with all of that

Quality vs quantity though and I’d be pissed if my husband used me as a tool for his own masterbat!on, and when hes putting his pleasure over yours and your boundaries that’s what your allowing


Normal is different for everyone. Sometimes normal is once every 7-10 days other times it might be 2-3 days in a row. Depends on lots of things really. Just got to be open and communication

As much as she’ll give it up

Depends on how we are feeling. Some weeks we have sex everyday. Some weeks we don’t really get sexual but we get intimacy by spending time with eachother talking or cuddling. My husband works as an aircraft mechanic and we just had another baby 6 weeks ago, so it’s pretty hard sometimes because he could be hurting or we could be over stressed. We use eachothers love languages all the time to show we care too.