How often do you want it?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 13 years. Literally half of our life. He complains that we don’t have enough sex. Here recently he decided to track it (its funny I thought about doing it too). So we’re having sex about every other day to every few days. Still at least twice a week. Anyways.

He makes comments that I should just get turned on that he’s turned on. Etc etc
13 years guys. It’s a long time. All of our friends have longest relationships of maybe 5 years and he wants to compare us to them.
So my point is. If you’re in your early 30’s and you’ve been dating your man for over 7-8 years, how often do you want it?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How often do you want it?

Depends on the person. Feel if he wants your drive higher he should put effort into getting your driver higher. I feel 2 to 3 times a week when responsible adults is a great amount already

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My sex drive is higher than my partners and he’s 6 years younger than me. Don’t think there’s any right answer tbh

I was with someone for 7 years. I absolutely never wanted it the last year we were together. He treated me like garbage and I was super sick as well. I was never in the mood and sometimes I’d just cave because I didn’t want the fights or drama surrounded by me saying no. My relationship now I want it all the time. :woman_shrugging: but he doesn’t due to medications.

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My husband wants it all the time if he can I don’t I want it maybe once a week I be too lazy for sex lol

There r many factors to this question…do u guys have kids? Both Work full-time? been married 12 years and we have our time when we r like rabbits and then when we or atleast I can care less. Depends how tired I am. I have 2 children and we both work full time. We both help at home. He is a hands on dad and also helps with the chores.

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Hubby and I have been together for 20 years and we have sex almost every day. It does depend on the person. Ask him to please make you want it more. He has to get your juices going. Lol

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Depends on the person, sex drive and sexual compatibility. Me and my ex barely were intimate but me and my current partner do it couple times A DAY. People settle into life and routine which isn’t a bad thing, just need to figure out ways to spark things further.

He’s got an overactive gland. :peanuts:
Should take up a useful cause with all that extra energy.

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Been with my man for 10 years… and mainly almost everyday lol

Well after having my daughter I don’t want it anymore I think I need to get my hormones checked or something

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Haha there’s his problem you shouldn’t be just turned on cos he is haha he needs to throw in a little effort :rofl:

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I will be 30 in a couple months. My husband just turned 40 a few months ago. We are married almost 9 years and have 2 kids. Typically its 1-2 times a week. Sometimes more, sometimes less. All depends on the week and how busy or tired we are. I think intimacy is more than just having sex. Even if we aren’t physically having intercourse, we are still intimate with each other. Kissing, cuddling, ect…

This was a common issue in my former marriage. Thing is, you owe NO ONE sex. You should never compromise and have sex simply because the other person wants it. Sex is an intimate act that requires full consent.
You are MORE than a sex partner. If he cannot see that, he needs to go.

That doesn’t sound like an unreasonable amount at all. If his sex drive is higher than yours the onus is on him. He needs to either be the one to put more effort into that aspect of the relationship (whether that be to add some romance, get you excited, do more stuff around the house so you have time and energy, etc) or he needs to quit whining and use his own hand.

Married 4 years together 9 years and with a 2year old aside from planning around naps and bedtime if we could we’d be probably every other day.

It sounds to me like his guilt tripping you into having sex, which isn’t ok.
My relationship is on both parties agreeing to sex, an doing things to turn each other on. If he can’t even do foreplay, to get you interested, then hun, his not the one.
The guy for you won’t guilt trip you, will pleasure you, and won’t leave you feeling like this.

We have 4 kids each have 2 jobs we would honestly watch a movie together or make a nice dinner when we actually have free time. We do it about twice a week

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10 years together, 2 kids….generally every other day or 5-6 times a week. This week hasn’t been as much because he’s been sick and I’ve been exhausted.

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13 years of a boyfriend. Girl why you wasting air on him!?

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16 years together and if i could it would be everyday but husband works alot so its only like 3 times a week.

Been married almost 40 years & still couple times a week.

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Never the answer is never, our hormones are different when we age. I attempt to make it happen at least once to twice a week but with our schedules that doesn’t even always happen. However my husband isn’t an asshole and he understands. I still think he’s smoking hot!!

We’ve been together 16 years, married for 10. Were both early to mid 30s. We’re like a few times a month right now :joy: we have 3 young kids and are just tired all the time. We both communicate though and make sure the other person isn’t feeling neglected. I’d suggest some couples counseling to help you guys find some middle ground.

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Think this depends on many factors tbh… I would want sex most days… we however have a 13 year old daughter so we only get our alone time when she is either staying out or at school and we both off work x

Right after my period every single day for about a week. The other 2 weeks maybe once a week. We’ve been together for 12 years.

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Married almost 16. 2 kids. Both work full time. I have under active thyroid with ZERO wax drive. He’s lucky to get it once or twice a month. He on the other hand would like it daily…

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It’s cool to have concerns/questions about the matter, but it should be with respect for your partner. He sounds inconsiderate as fck. Super insensitive. It’s a beautiful experience learning what you and your partner desire sexually. He treats it like a job 🤷

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there will come a time, when he doesn’t want it all the time, or he can’t, because there is not one man I don’t know, as they get older, usually starts around 40 or later, that they have a hard time getting it up, So unless you don’t want it, I would take advancing of this situation :slight_smile:

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I think 2 times a week is great. My husband and I have 4 kids… 6 and under and we do it 2-3 times a week if that. Sometimes not at all. It’s whatever you both are comfortable and okay with. You have to come to a common ground. It’s a give and take at times

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Same as you I used to be with someone who wanted to every day thats too much and imo

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I want it way more then he gets it!!

Been together nearly 7 years & we do it every day.Very rare we miss a day lol

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Too much of the same thing can get boring. Spice things up? Try things you’ve always wanted to. Get dressed up. Make a sex bucket list if that helps you. Toys are great too. Though my husband and I haven’t been together nearly as long as y’all, I hit a roadblock too. And so did he, but more so he didnt know what else to do. So we just explored different things and ways and it was like the “spark” relit and caught on fire. He cant keep me off of him now.

I’ve been with my husband now going on 6 years. We have 3 kids plus one angel baby. I don’t have a sex drive meaning I can go months without it. I could honestly care less. He hates it. But I’ve told him plenty of times if that’s all this marriage is about is having sex then we don’t need to be married. I have other things that needs my attention. I wish I had a sex drive but I don’t.

3 /4 times a week… together 8 yrs married 5 months now

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I’ve been with mine since I was 14, I am now 33 and we have the same argument lol

Every day and pushing 60

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He needs to put a :ring: on it!

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Together 14 years later this year (half our life, I’m nearly 28), 4 daughters under 6. Whilst the twins are small 1-2 over a two week period. When the babies reach toddler age and I Get more sleep!! Approx 2-3 times a week if not more. (Whenever we get an opportunity really!!)

Think it’s a bit sad to track it, and keep calling you out on it. It becomes a chore than fun! And that’s not attractive/ turn on.

You don’t need to be turned on just because he is, it’s not a switch! A little more effort, passion and time with less moaning would help your sex drive.

You have it when you want it! DON’T Give in to pressure or to stop his pathetic whining

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We’re both 32. Married 7 years. 5 kids. At minimum it’s every other day. Except if I’m off work early and the kids are gone to school and then it mostly happens multiple times a day. We work opposite shifts to avoid child care.
There are occasional times when we go 4 or 5 days at most on those weeks that have been extra long and we’ve both gone none stop at work and run all day every day with the kids extracurricular activities.

I have a strictly physical relationship with my sons dad. As long as it’s not my time, twice a week

My hubby and I are just fighting about this. My sex drive is all over the place. I’m finding when it’s there, it really there, way up. When it’s low it’s NOTHING. I can go weeks with it being nothing. Like not wanting anything but will give it up cuz i know he wants it, I just don’t enjoy it. We’ve been together nearly 10 years. I’m stuck on what to do as well…

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Ok. I wish me and my husband did it that often. We try to make it a point for 1 time a week unless it’s my time of the month but between our autistic 3 year old and our 6 year old adhd son, we are so mentally and physically drained, it’s usually once every 2-3 weeks

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2-4 times a week
13 years married
5 kids aged 16-7 (2 older 16/15 yr Olds are from previous marriage)
Busy beyond words with sports so…

What a narcissistic person. You should be turned on because he is? Wow. Maybe he should put some effort into you

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Together 9 years. We do it at least once a week, sometimes 2 or 3 times. We both work outside though and have 2 kids with adhd and by the time it’s bedtime 99% of the time we are just to damn tired :rofl::rofl:

15 years together, 12 years of marriage, four kids, and I literally want it everyday. My husband, not so much. :woman_shrugging:t4:

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Late 40’s… 24 years together. Minimum twice a week. Unless there’s sickness etc…

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I’ve been in a two year relationship and we rarely have sex once a week after I had our baby and it’s been almost a year since then

I’m 23 with a one year old and we have sex maybe 2 times a month

3 to 5 times a week but I don’t get it that much :disappointed:

I’ve been with my boyfriend 13 years (this coming Valentine’s day) too and we do it every day unless we’re super tired or busy then its every 2-3 days

I want it Every day but with our busy schedule 2 kids under 10, 2 dogs it’s every other day. Married 12 years together 17 & were in our early 30’s. So i would say right now we have it anywhere from 3/4 times a week.

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My question is… if he’s voicing those concerns with you (anyone in here speaking negatively about the man) and you ignore it, say “oh well”, or don’t attempt to meet him half way… would you allow him to go elsewhere to get it?

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Remind him that forcing a girl to have sex when she doesn’t want to is rape. Maybe he will pipe down a bit

Ack at this stage its a couple times a month 21 years together 3 kids 2 autistic and 1 6 months old we both be exhausted but we always check to make sure the other 1 is OK we would rather watch a movie and eat dinner in quietness

I was with my mine for 11 yrs and still wanted it 3 times a day…:woman_facepalming::joy::rofl::woman_shrugging:

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Men get this idea you are supposed to give them what they want even when your no in the mood not realizing for many women it can actually her trying to do it anyway i been with mine 10 years im on my 4th pregnancy and too tired most of the time i hardly ever want sex and they don’t realize certain comments also make it worse i have heard it all so i don’t exactly care anymore might i add for babies are 5 and under i have been pregnant every year since 2019 and that alone really adds its weight

Been together almost 13 years. Both 31 years old. Two kids. Average every other day but sometimes everyday multiple times a day to none for a few days. It’s mainly if we have a kid free moment.

I never want it :joy: I know it’s not healthy but I have pcos and it affects hormones sex drive etc. my man complains about the same thing. Every other day is plenty. Every 2/3 days is enough too. Research has said every 3 days is a healthy sex life. Men need to realize a mother who works, stays home with kids and takes care of a house is mentally drained at the end of the day. I work 40 hours a week midnight shift. I get 4/5 hours total sleep a day, get up take care of our son, household chores and I’m exhausted. He helps out a ton with our son and around the house but it’s still a lot and I seem so tired all the time.

11 years and 8 kids and ugh you guys how can you keep up having sex weekly? It’s like 3 times a month maybe??? But we find we don’t need sex to be comfortable with each other.

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Jesus, where do you all get the time :rofl: me and mu husband have 3 children (2 with additional needs) and don’t stop from 6am to 10pm (sometimes later) the last thing we want is to jump each other lol we are lucky if we get doing it once a week ffs

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Ummmm 11 yrs in (I’m in my mid thirties and hes in his mid forties) and we average every other day, sometimes longer but not usually
But we are VERY compatible in that department :woman_shrugging:

Okay 26 here, we have a one year old and we both work full time. We’ve been together 3 years, friends for about 15 years. I’m sorry but that twice a week stuff is for the birds. I’m way to tired for all that. :rofl:

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We’re almost 28 and maybe 4 times a month.

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Shit i only got it every 4 to 6 months my boyfriend lives in texas and in live in California twice a week for bed so wonderful lol

Ha… Lucky if its once a fortnight/month let alone weekly

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15 yrs together 2 kids , 2x a week is average for us. Sometimes less sometimes more , there is no rule in having to have sex… it comes and goes that’s life. If pressure to do it more gets involved that’s a huge turn off !

I’m 34, my husband is 44. Between the two of us we have 5 kiddos. Been together going on 10 years. We both want it as often as possible on weekends we do it when the baby is napping if we can and at night. During the week we do it every night unless one of us is just exhausted. I guess we just have high drives and really enjoy one another in that department lol

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My hubby and I both want it everyday… but usually only happens about twice a week… we are tired or busy with adult responsibilities. If 1 wants it but the other doesn’t we take care of it by ourselves. As a woman it takes about 20 minutes of foreplay to really be into it if I’m not the 1 starting it… we don’t have time for all that

Several times a week. 32 years together. I’m almost 50 he is 51

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2 to 3 times a week. But if he could have it his way every day

Married 10 years and I don’t want it… ever :confused:. I’m also 47 and perimenopausal :pensive:

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Been with mine close to 8 years and maybe get lucky if we do it once a month

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11 years and maybe 2 times a week. Both in early 30s. I work and we have two boys 4 &7. Sometimes he wishes it was as often as in the beginning (1-3 times a day) but that was before kids and we were younger lol

We’ve been together 10 years and have sex 3-4 times a week. Unless one of us is sick

We’ve been together six years, we’re 31 and 35, I’d say realistically we do it every other day to every two days or so. Sometimes we do it more than once a day. We have three kids under 8 years old (hes got full time job, Im full time SAHM) so it’s pretty much whenever we have a free moment that’s not consumed with “mommy!” And we’re not exhausted. At some point you just become happy for the company of your partner and the quietness, would rather do things like watch TV together and eat all the yummy snacks in grown up peace together.

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I have 3 children and we have sex atleast 2 a day. And on period time i pleasure him atleast once a day

Every other day sounds about right to me lol

I’m 34,he’s 30,been together 9yrs and we do it maybe once or twice a week.

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Wow…every day? Every other day??
Been together 9 years and we just recently broke a 3 year dry spell.
I complained about it but he never wanted it. Then he claimed I never wanted it.
We finally talked about it but there’s no action.
What’s it like to be with someone who wants you?

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Im nearing 45 and my husband is 57. Its a couple times per week unless its my time of the month. Sometimes its more. Your sexual relationship sounds normal to me. No room for concern yet. I will say…take it while you can get it tho. ha

Sounds like yall are doing it enough for me. Twice a week is more than alot of people get

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I havent had none in two months

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Just tell him to shut up, he is luckier than most.

I’m 32 been with my husband for over 14 years. I personally want it most days. But with 5 kids finding the time is more or less often depending on time. But what turns each person on is different. Maybe you should explore what and will be your turn one. And for things to change isn’t wrong. Just might be hurtful to the other partner.

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It depends, hubs and I have been together 10 years, sometimes it is daily, sometimes it’s every other day and sometimes maybe just once or twice a week. There is no right amount of sex to have… men think women just get turned on at the drop of hat like they do, when in reality a takes alot to keep us in the “mood” and we’re 30 and 31

Me and my ex were approx every 4 days or so. 10 years together.

I’m 35 and hes gonna be 50. Been in some sort of relationship with each other for 20 years. I would do him every day if I could.

We been together 18 years and we are at twice or 3 times a week. Our schedule doesn’t match up a lot of the time.

Maybe he should try encouraging you to want it… telling you that you should be turned on just because he is isn’t working clearly :joy::woman_facepalming:

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Been together 8 years and its normally around 5 days a week give or take but I’m currently 10 weeks pregnant so the exhaustion and nausea have cut it down to 2-3 times a week and he has to work overtime to get me in the mood lol

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About 3 times a week and I think that’s alot

I am 31 and my fiance is 32 and we have been together 6 years. And we have sex like twice a week if we are lucky!! I mean we try to make the time but sometimes we just dont get too!! But if Im horny and he is at work or in bed sleeping for work (he works 12hr shifts) I just get myself off​:woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging: and thats goes for him as well!!

10 yrs I’ve been with mine and currently this is the longest we’ve went without sex. It’s coming on a year but he’s in prison so. But normally our sex life was at least 4 times a week maybe more. I’m in my early 30s and hes in his late 40s.

Depends on how good it is and how he makes me feel. Lol with my ex husband I never wanted it so maybe 3 times a week to keep him quiet. My fiance now it’s everyday and i want to do it.

Together 8 years. I rarely want it. He’s always ready. We work opposite shifts so someone is always at home with the kids (blended family our kids are all over twelve so they’re fine when he’s asleep during the day) we have a standing date every Sunday night. So at least once a week, but sometimes we do it before the kids get home from school. I’m almost forty and everyone I know who’s older than me says my sex drive will go thru the roof once I hit forty, but I really don’t think so bc I barely have one now. I’m still completely attracted to my man, I just really don’t care about sex. Maybe y’all should sit down and talk and come up with a compromise. I stopped caring about sex a couple of years ago. At one point almost two months went by when we had none at all. That’s when he came to me and voiced his concerns. I didn’t even realize that I’d been neglecting him in that area. So since I’m off on Mondays and he doesn’t leave for work until 230 pm (I clock in at 4 am) Sunday nights our our nights.

I want my husband all the time. I look at him and I get turned on. But my drive is extremely high.

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