How often does your husband visit his family? I am trying to see something here. He is at their house every single weekend, hanging out with his siblings, doing things around the house that his mom needs to be done even though his single brothers are just as capable of getting things done for her. I feel like she uses him sometimes. I would like a weekend alone with my husband for once, but every time I bring it up, “his mother needs something.” I am at my wits end here.
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Never. We live 2700 miles from them. I wish we could see them every weekend
How close do y’all live? Proximity plays a part. We’re in Washington State and my inlaws are in Texas. He hasn’t been home in years.
Mine is at his mother’s a couple (few?) times a week. She’s always needing something but when we need her help with something she usually comes through so I try not to complain too much. He is also, pretty much an only child (long story there but he’s the only one for her to call)
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With my father being newly widowed we have been spending a lot of time there. I think it depends on the situation. Maybe makeup a visitation schedule with the other siblings if it is too much on your family. Be honest and tell your spouse you need quality together time too.
R u sure he is there all the time or is it an excuse to go somewhere else?
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My husband works way too much to go to his moms often. He gets a day off every 4-6weeks and he spends it with our daughter and myself
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Lol…we used to live a few blocks away and either him or myself were at his parents at least 3-5 times a week,we moved 30 minutes away and we don’t even get phone calls anymore…his twin sister didn’t show up at our wedding and his parents didn’t even stay long enough for the mother son dance…smh old people suck
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I go see my dad maybe 1 every week or every other week my mom has passed and so has my fiances mother we live with his father but I try to call my dad as much as I can but somtimes it’s hard to get down there all the time with life and school and kids and stuff but there’s never an issue about it
My husband is at his grandparents (he grew up there) every single day. It does get tiring and upsetting sometimes. But he is all they have. He helps them so much and I’m grateful for that. They also help us. The family you come from is also very important. Took years of patients and understanding before I learned this
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That is his family, they have been there before you and they will be there after you! You’re going to push him away by trying to make him choose between his family and you. He could be out in the streets running the bars but no he’s spending time with family and I’m sure you’re offered to come. Not trying to be mean but that is very Petty of you to even be upset his mom won’t live forever!
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My mom lives with us. We see in laws often. If they need something he goes or we go. We have 6 kids. Oldest is army is home every single weekend and so.e during the week. One comes over everyday on his lunch and after work. 3rd oldest comes daily as well his girlfriend is with him. We have big family dinners 6 days a week. I love they come over. They do yard work and say it’s their turn to take care of us. I am 39 hubs is 41. We work and can do for ourselves. It makes them happy. Maybe he just loves his parents and wants to help them.
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Family is everything. I seriously think you need to quit being so petty. At least he is not out at the bars. Or worse. Go with him when he goes then you will be together.
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Plan it like 2 months in advance. Let him know “hey on these dates I set aside a weekend for us to do some stuff to spend quality time with each other.”
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This depends on location and bond. My husband talks to his sister almost daily if not every other day. His mom and dad have passed. My father has passed and my mother is in a nursing home with dementia. My husband’s family lives many many states away. And I’m not super close to mine since my mom barely had family and when my dad died not too many of his side kept in touch. At least my mom didn’t let them if they did. So we’re kinda estranged. Nope we’re pretty much on our own. I wish I had family.
We go over to my husbands father house every weekend because he is the only close family membwr we have all my family live in new york and his mom lives in alabama his dad os the only one close to us i honestly i dont mind because how much heis dad helped us when we really needed it so we go over there to help him and hang out
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My husband sees his mother and daddy at least two times a week. But if they need some work done on their car, or house, yard mowed
He well go do what needs to be done. I don’t mind. My in laws are in there upper 80s. And i want my husband to be with them as much as he can. They may not be here much longer. And i don’t want him to regret not being there for them.
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My husband’s family lives in Tennessee and we live in Louisiana so he doesn’t see or talk to his family much .but I see or talk to my family at least twice a week if not every day. And he says we are clannish because we spend so much time together.He Says it is not normal… and I feel the opposite way.for him not seeing and talking to his mother for weeks or years that s*** ain’t normal to me… 
but I do have a big family and we come from different backgrounds for example he was raised in a single parent home where I was raised with both my parents and all of my siblings. Where he grew up with his dad and his siblings were with his mom. So🤷 idk guess Im just closer to my family than he is to his…
I’ll see my family everyday if I so choose. You’d be gone at the first complaint.
She’s not using him, he’s doing his job to care for his aging mother. She needs her grass mowed? He should do it. She needs heavy boxes from the attic? He can help. Maybe if joined him you wouldn’t feel so left out.
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If he wants to be involved with the family he created then he will prioritize you. Make plans without him, don’t wait for him to show he cares. Spending time with your family is important but if he is dedicating every weekend to extended family and not wanting to make plans with you, something is not right there.
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It really depends on how close he is to his family and how close yall live to each other. I saw my dad every single day when we were neighbors. When we weren’t, I saw him when I was able to get a day off from work. My man saw his brother, who lives an hour away maybe once or twice every couple of weeks. [Due to personal reasons, we haven’t seen him in quite some time.] The rest of his family are spread out over the states so he doesn’t see them.
Its his mother for goodness sakes. I understand what your saying but parents only live so long. Both my parents died when i was 25 years old and id give anything to see them. Give him his time honey. U dont want resentment later
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Ooof. Dedicate one weekend for her.
Family you come from is important, but family you create should be priority.
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We go see my in laws whenever we can but its difficult bc of work schedules. I’m at my moms like 3 times a week. So is my little brother.
We live 10 minutes from my in laws. At first we were over there once a week or more then when we got tired of having to always be there for things and have everything her way we stopped going over as often. Now we are never there and wont be going there anytime soon.
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We go to his family’s house once a week but he has siblings that are still younger
I live with his mother and sister and frequent his other brother monthly and watch his kids weekly. My mom gets 2 weekends a month. Y
We see his family and mine often but I don’t mind I love and prefer being with family whenever I can 
I see my family every weekend 
If the show were on the other foot what would you say?
We have three moms (his mother and my bio mom and step mom). Our kids are always super spoiled.
The closest mom we see almost every week. The middle furthers mom we see a couple times a month during school year and almost weekly during summer. The farthest mom (and our only grandpa) we try and see at least once a month when possible but sometimes only on events (birthdays, holidays, special occasions)
Sometimes more sometimes less depending on what’s going on.
We’re at my bfs moms house every weekend or every other weekend he dose things his mom ask or he helps his dad when he’s around family is family just go with it
I would say you have a pretty great husband! He values family. How would you feel if your grown children weren’t there for you? After all most parents give their whole self while raising their kiddos. I think it really depends on your own family dynamics. Communicate how you feel. Set aside time for your little family and set boundaries if that’s what makes you feel comfortable. Why don’t you join him?
When my dad was alive I visited him almost daily to just hang and to help out. my husband visited a couple times a week. Whenever either my dad or my little family needed anything the other would be there. I also have siblings who don’t have kids and didn’t really help him out, but I’m so thankful that my husband, myself and kids had that opportunity.
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My partner sees his family every week multiple times a week at the moment they take him to work because we dont have a car so we see them from Tuesday onwards xx
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We we are my in-laws every weekend almost. Your husband seems like an amazing family man and you should count yourself lucky, not whine that he wants to help his Mom out. Just my opinion though.
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Mine never gets to see his 
but i try to see mine at least my grandma every sat if i cant see her i try to see my mom on sat.
Why can’t you go with him? Mine does and i would go if he chose to go see his family…
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I go to my moms everyday. The only time I dont go is if I am sick or one of the kids are sick. Or if its very bad weather. My husband or anyone is going to tell me I cant spend time with my family. I am 5 mins away. Me and my mom work at the same place to.
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I live with my in law and I love every second of that! My kids get to see her whenever they want as do I and my husband. My parents are about 45 mins away and I try to see them about 2 times a month but definitely at least once a month.
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Hardly ever. But for events and maybe going by there every once in awhile. Maybe once a month! But if his momma need him I wouldn’t mind! There’s times she will call and ask him if he would come over and do something he does. I don’t mind. That’s his mom.
Not very often they are 9 hrs away
Omfg let him see his family!
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My husband goes to his moms at least 4 times a week. She might need help with something or he’s working (getting paid) on her house could be picking up our children(she retired to be a full-time nana no child care here yet!) I go over to my parents house and hang out every other Saturday sometimes I hang out for an hour sometimes all day long. We are very family oriented. We love spending time with our families but also if we have something to do, it’s not mandatory that we see them all the time. It’s just a want.
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Family values. That’s usually a good thing. Book in advance is you want time with him. Pick a weekend like 2-3 weeks in advance (that way he can’t say she needed something for that day)
Coming between a boy and his mama is a tough spot to be in. Never works out well for you
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Every sunday we have dinner at my in laws. Soon we will be over more often as my father in law will need help. I see my family like daily. If he ever complained about that i would leave him. Our time with parents is short. Spend time while you can. If you want to plan something plan it out in advance but dont be upset for him wanting to help his parent or spend time with his family.
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Not very often. His mom is in the process of moving to Texas, but even prior to that it was maybe once every couple months. His dad he sees maybe once a month. His brother and sister he sees regularly or at least tries to.
One day they will all be gone…yours and his. Be there now while you can😊
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I visited my mom every day for years and then COVID struck. Our visits were limited to shouting from the end of the driveway on a busy street. I lost my mom last month. What I wouldn’t do to have one more visit with her. Let him love his mom. He is teaching his children how to treat you in the years to come.
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My husband and I would go to his mom’s quite often. Then we moved in across the street from them. I wish we visited more. His mom died in 2016 and I would give anything to have her here so he could go and help her with something.
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It should be a balance …I know a lot of people are saying “family values” but his wife is ALSO his family and their marriage needs just as much attention as his siblings and parents. To the ones saying that his parents won’t be around forever, remember tomorrow is promised to no one and time should be given/spend with the ones you love and that includes your spouse 
My parents live down the street from us and I am a hardcore momma’s girl but my mom taught me once I am married, my husband and I begin a new family and that needs to be prioritized. I hope you and your husband are able to get the alone time you are wanting
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I feel like everyone is judging here incorrectly. We are very close with my in-laws, we see them very often! However, if my husband was spending every weekend at their house, even if I was included, I would not be happy. We have our own house and our own responsibilities not even considering “time for ourselves.” He should be present for his mom, but he married you! He should find a way to balance his time more equally. Good luck!
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My husband talks to his mom everyday. If he doesn’t call, she will. He was, one day a week, taking her to her appointments & doing all her running around. Would take the entire day. But he is the only son that lives nearby.
He’s a mommy’s boy but thats alright, she raised him to be an amazing husband and father so i try not to complain lol
His family not very much mine on the other hand we see daily we moved next to them for me to be around them everyday
We used to be there almost every day. Lately, only for holidays. Different families are different though.
This sounds like my family. We are always doing EVERYTHING together. My husband had a hard time since he barely sees his family but now he’s good with it and enjoys himself. If you love your family why not enjoy the time since you never know when it will end.
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Maybe say “morning or afternoon is for mom, nights are for me” and make restaurant, movie, or whatever reservations for you and hubs. Or the reverse: you spend the day/morning/afternoon with him & your child, he can check on mom at night. Go somewhere away so he can’t just drop everything: museum, park/playground a ways away, pool, or a kids movie (bonus is he has to turn off his phone in the theater).
You can plan a weekend getaway well in advance, and YOU tell MIL she is to rely on her other sons that weekend, and please not to call for just those 2 or 3 days. Tell the brothers they are taking the lead that weekend and not to call. Shut off his phone for the duration of the weekend as much as possible.
Also marriage counseling so a third party can tell him why he needs to change his ways. That way it’s not just you “whining.” Also, maybe uncover why he feels such an obligation to his mom that he neglects you & his offspring.
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Usually on the weekends just because we don’t get to see them throughout the week so that’s the only family time we get but we go over there as a family all the kids play we grill out stuff like that never singled my hubs out for only him to come.
Your little family is just as important as his
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Every Sunday. I completely am ok with it…as his family is important too. I go with him, and we all eat lunch etc. His mother is older and lives alone…it’s only right that he and his siblings help her. He speaks to her daily as well
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I go to my mothers almost every day. As my husbands mother has passed. But he never tells me no. 
.
Mine goes every Sunday except for the sunday that he works. I don’t see my family but twice a year.
I’m gonna tell ya how this will turn out but you won’t listen, so……
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I mean I’m with mines family allll the time.
We at his family as much as we can my family when we can due to the drive
We live really far away. Just make plans for your family and when/if he realizes he’s missing out on his family fun he needs to make the choice. Be mommy’s bitch/errand boy or husband/dad Bc he can’t be both.
His family is spouse and children. If it’s a problem for you he needs to compromise. That would be too much for me too.
My parents babysit for us so I see them a little a few times a week. My spouses mom lives 3 hours away. We see her once every couple months.
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When you get married you worry about your family at YOUR OWN HOUSE. Its okay to help out sometimes but if its interfering then it gets annoying. They can ask one of his other siblings or hire someone if they have to. You need time with your man too. He won’t die not being around every weekend. 1 day a week is sufficient.
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You didn’t say if you go with him? If not why don’t you go and try to enjoy the visit, do you have kids? I can understand why you would like a weekend with your hubby, that is important too, try to plan a weekend trip somewhere that you both would enjoy, give him a couple weeks warning for the trip and if he won’t go tell him your going alone!
Tell him if he goes to take the kids with my man is absolutely a “home body” but he usually takes our child with or we all go. I have to add that I enjoy his parents company and they’re more helpful than needy. Even if they were needy that would be all the more reason to be there. If she needs help and that bothers you pitch in, get it done faster and be together.
Just means he is the better son. The brothers probably just use his mom.
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I like that my husband goes to help his mom when she needs it. He is one of two kids and lives the closest to his mom. She lives alone. I love that he talks to his parents and brother daily. They are a close family. That being said, my husband will jump to help all of his friends if they need it.
Once a year when he feels like dealing with their toxic traits for 20 mins
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I’m the spouse at my parents constantly. It’s a safe place and I love helping.
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Every Sunday. Most times I go too. Sometimes I don’t. It used to bother me when we were younger but now I realize how wrong I was. It’s to us important to maintain strong family bonds. His mom, my SIL, and I cook together and we all eat together. My kids are better for seeing their grandparents every weekend.
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Girl I’m at my husbands moms house a lost everyday. And she never needs anything
He sees his mom almost everyday and we go to his sisters every monday
We live in the same town and hes there a couple times a day. And anytime anything happens he has to deal with it.
Leave him alone he mommas boy i wish my husband go away every weekend to his mom it wouldn’t upset me it’s his mom
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Don’t make him choose between family members. It won’t end well for you!
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We go every day to my in-laws sometimes twice a day with 5 kids to help clean, do gardening, go shopping, take his sister to appointments and hangout, we love it 
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Not very often. His mom lives 16 hours away.
My MIL lives behind me lol we share the ranch. Ive come to live with the fact that hes the one who does everything for his parents hes just a mommas boy for life i cant change it. Sometimes i get a little jealous that i don’t get to see mine the same amount(fam lives in colorado)
My husband goes to his mom’s on the weekend to take care of her but every few months he finds someone to fill in and we spend the weekend together now slap him upside his head and tell him what you want
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How many years did she take care of him?
This isn’t about it being a weekend, you would be upset regardless of what day it was.
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We live in a two family with my in laws so he sees them daily
Can you go with him & help her too? Why would you want to limit the time he spends with his mom? From someone who lost all 3 parents young she won’t be around forever. Let him make memories hell cherish later.
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That’s one of the main things that tore my parents apart. My grandparents house always came first and our house would have to nearly burn down to get my dad’s attention and if the washer broke it would take forever to replace but if my granny called needing hers fixed it only took hours.
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It wouldn’t be a problem if he wasn’t blowing you off. You’re his wife and he should be making some time for just the two of you. I understand that would be extremely frustrating and annoying. If he is literally there every weekend then he needs to make time for you. I wouldn’t like that at all. Everyone saying it’s his mom let him spend the time. That’s ridiculous! The whole point is that he isn’t making any time for you!!! That is not ok. When you get married you create your own family which is just as important.
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I was married once before and my husband at the time spent every waking free minute with his mother (his dad was not in the picture ever). If he was off, (when he worked) he was at her house doing thing for her… she always needed something. To an extent that is totally acceptable but our marriage suffered greatly bc of it and bc of her obvious involvement in our lives. I mean he was there constantly and she was always coming by and calling and “butting” in to what wasn’t her business (not sorry… she literally crossed the line on numerous occasions) she was toxic and caused a lot of trouble and I think she enjoyed seeing me suffer bc of it. Maybe not, I hope not but she was one of a kind I tell ya. We divorced for many many other reason but that was one of the top ones too. Fast forward now I’m married to a great man who puts me and his children first (luckily I didn’t have any children in my 1st short marriage). He works hard everyday and dedicates himself to his family and our lives together. He goes out of his way to do special things for me and always be there for us. He is also one of a kind but in an awesomely diff way as the one I described before. I say this bc he has been pretty close to his mother most of his life. That’s one of the things I loved about him, was how close he was to his parents and family. However, he had some hesitation and now I know why. He knows them the real them and they are all pretty drama Oriented and 2 faced. I used to think that at least his mother had good intentions but now I’m not so sure. They can cause a lot of issues if they want to and I never made him choose, but he saw things for what they were and how they were, he hasn’t spoken to them in 2 years and my kids don’t even know their grandparents on that side. Sad, but necessary for our fam unit to not take on extra drama and issues… his sister is the same way and it’s the same situation! Good in-laws are hard to come by, if they are close and have good intentions, by all means do your best to spend as much time with them as you can while they are here. However if this time is affecting your family and marriage, then it needs to be reevaluated and prob at least talked about. Our parents will be gone one day and it’s a hard thought to think.
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Almost never, I wish we had a close knit family like that. Having people that surround you that always have your back is a good thing, having a “village” sort of speak would be amazing. If you have something you specifically want to do on a weekend or something make specific plans ahead of time. Try spending & enjoying time with his family too if it’s what he likes to do. That kind of behavior doesn’t usually come out of the blue, so you knew what you were marrying into.
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I’m at my parents often, they live close. My in-laws are a ways away or I’d probably be there often too.
If we still lived in the same town I would say I would see my in laws daily my husband every second day ish
His mom and I FaceTime daily
Lol my hubby gets a call everyday day from his mom. His older brother actually lives with them. But they still call him to come help. I think it’s adorable.
I constantly wanna visit my family. One day they aren’t gonna be here so I try to make the most of them while I am lucky to have them. However I also get wanting more alone time with your husband so If anything maybe set up a time frame to help get some balance in the relationship. Come together and try to compromise
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Every weekend he visits his family but my mom lives very close so I am at her house multiple times throughout the week.
Maybe once every three months we all get together.
I visit with my family at least once a week. It makes me happy. It does get to my man sometimes because he likes to plan things just us and I somehow want to include everybody but it works out. You guys can compromise and find a middle ground.
Depending on how you view marriage and family, everyone is different. I love my MIL, more than my own mother honestly, and I would be upset by this. In my marriage, the family we made comes first. Of course we help our parents, but again, our family we made together comes before anything else. Period.
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My husband is only almost 36 and both his parents are gone. If they were still alive and needed his help for something then he could go help. I’m sure he wouldn’t be over there the whole day or I’d go with him to help as well. If he’d go and not make time for me as well, I may get upset. There’s gotta be limits to some things and if you’re feeling neglected, speak up!
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girl you’re wack. best hope your son dont grow up like you.
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Leave … his a mummas boy 
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Try going with him… my husband sometimes feels the same way because I get up and randomly go to my mommys house and get in her bed and take a nap. 4 a.m 7 a.m
1 a.m
I prefer her shower over my own🤣
And she has a old clawfoot tub that stays hot for houurrrrrrrrrrs
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