I would like to know how you guys deal with your 10yrs old girl who already acts like a teenager. What I mean is that she always talks back in the meanest way to anyone, be it her younger brother, her stepdad, or me. We live close to my parents and sister and foster brother, and she is almost always mean to everyone except for my mom, with who she is very close. We have tried everything starting with a pep talk, tried cutting off on TV and electronics, tried to cut off on outings, and now latest I took her favorite clothes and shoes and threatened to throw them away if she didn’t change her attitude, but it seems apart from crying a bit and pleading it doesn’t do any good. I’m out of ideas on how to get her to respect me more and stop being a diva. I have tried asking her why she might be angry, and my mom has also tried, but she says everything is perfect for her. She just doesn’t know why she talks without thinking first. Can someone tell me how they would deal with that, please?
I mean u have tried everything 🤷 im not saying beat her. But a little of reinforcement on what’s not acceptable may get the point across.
Spank or pinch take away electronic devices. Take wifi away…
She does know and you’re letting her get away with it. Otherwise she wouldn’t keep at it. Stop threatening and just do it. No electronics. Period. No friends. Period. No favorite clothes or shoes. Period. You want them back. Change your attitude or it’s not happening. Period. Also whoop her butt.
Follow through and punish the bad behavior, dont forget to reward the good behaviour just as equally.
Ground her to her room until she talks better. If she doesn’t, send her right back in.
Maybe try to see if she would be willing to go to a therapist or psychiatrist. If she isnt sure why it happens and says everything is fine.
I did all that too & she didn’t respond until I just started ignoring her. Now she knows if she wants to talk to me she better approach me like she’s got some sense.
You do not have to whoop her to make her respect you or follow the house rules
It’s real simple, you are the adult and she is a child
Set a rule and follow through
If she still is disrespectful, take away everything fun, leave only her bed and clothes in her room
But stick to it…
If she wants to do fun things make her work for it!!
Smack her right across her mouth. The first time my son raised his voice at me I did just that, and he never had again. He’s 16 now, and that happened before he got his teens
Be consistent. Dont just something for a day or just one time. You are the parent, you make the rules. If it comes to taking everything away but a few clothes and a mattress to sleep on…then that’s what you do. And it takes more than 1 I’m sorry.
Mine did the same thing…it definitely correlated with hormones for both my girls. We had a talk about feelings, mood, irritability, and how to handle it correctly. They were given options to take a moment to collect themselves to learn to deal with the anger…but also knew there would be consequences if they chose not to.
Stop threatening her with empty threats and her behavior will change. Whatever you threaten to do, you need to follow through, or she’s winning…
I say give that girl a chore list and micro manage the hell out of her. Anything and everything that needs to be done let her do! Tell her she is the woman for the job!! And put it in her head that no matter how little something that she wants is or whatever she wants to do she has to EARN that privilege. And that means earning it through niceness. Every nice thing she says or does tally it up until she hits 5, then she’s earned something.
Spank her!!! Show her that actions HAVE consquences
There is a reason she is acting this way. How long have you been remarried? Do you have children with her stepfather? Is her father in the picture? Look back to when she started this? I am sure there are many variables. And like many have said you need to follow through and set clear expectations. Also, need to remember she may not be a teenager but society kids are way beyond their years.
Maybe she needs some one on one momma time? Perhaps she’s hurting? Like my 9 year old was being bullied at school then would turn to be mean to her brother when home… They don’t always put two and two together but that’s what momma is for. Or my nine year old spotted one or two drops of blood but didn’t really start. My sister did that. One or two drops then nothing for a couple years. But do t listen to these ladies on the physical punishment. Maybe spanking is more useful for different times, but please don’t pinch your daughter. Definitely don’t feel pinching a ten year old would help at all. Sorry 
Lol or chores… dishes always need done.
Maybe take her the Dr or counselor? Just because she says everything is perfect doesnt mean it is. She may have an anger disorder or ODD
I am sorry but have you tried a good old fashioned smack in the mouth and this behavior normally does not start at 10. My little sister was like this because of the power struggle my father and her mother had. As a teen she kept getting in trouble in school with teachers, students and basically everyone till she ended up in a juvenile home that basically would not put up with her crap and she atleast finished high school. Now as an adult she can not hold down a job and thinks she is going to be a millionaire without working. So if you and her father do not have a power struggle on how to discipline and your mother is a healthy influence (Is not a meddling grandmother) than it is time for a good whack in the mouth when ever she is inappropriate and then you have a discussion with her about the reason you smacked her mouth. A child that does not respect there parents will not respect anyone.
Empty her room and take away her privileges. Make her earn her stuff back. If she is going to act like a teenager, she should be treated like one. I took away everything except for the bed, fitted sheet, 1 pillow and a blanket.
Get her into counseling before she really gets out of control
I’m thinking maybe she herself doesn’t know, because her hormones are all over the place and her body is changing and she’s not fully in control of her emotions 
, i know this is exactly what my granddaughter was going through a few years back and in talking to her she admitted that was her problem. She is now much older and has changed that behaviour. 
Maybe your 10 year old is going through the exact same changes we all did at that age and instead of treating her like a juvenile delinquent… talk to her like an adult. She is a child but she is changing and going through serious hormonal changes, grow with her. Speak to her with respect and demand respect in return. Do this and she will learn. If she cannot keep up her end of the deal then she loses privileges. She is becoming an adult, teach her how to become an adult with grace. And honestly get her doing physical activities that kick her ass, it will help with the overwhelming emotions and limit outside factors you may not be aware of. Everyone goes through that weird time as a new teenager where you don’t feel like a kid (even though you are)anymore. It is alot of emotions, and changes physically to contend with. Sometimes she’s going to be a little shit, it’s your job to consistently set the example and teach her. To communicate with her and teach her to communicate in turn, even when it’s tough. Be her guide, her teacher, her example. So many people are quick to snap and threaten and take away but take first steps. Offer her respect and choices and show her if she does the same in turn life is easier, kinder, and a heck of alot nicer for everyone. Remember you are the adult, show her what it means to be a mature, kind, respectful adult.
Have you thought
She might be hormonall
Welcome to the club. 
Sentences, dictionary words,taking her things, grounding. Hold your ground. Being a parent is hard but if u dont set a boundary n hold it she will be out of control at 15.
Take her to a phycologist and tell her you will be talking with other mo.s of kids in her school about this to see if any of them are experiencing the same then put her to task give her so much to do that she angry all the time no friends no tv no nothing and when she flips film it film her being disrespectful and play it for her on loop I would talk to her in the same tone and disregard her feelings when she cracks you say dont like it when you on the other end…too effing bad no nothing literally put coal in her shoes
I have a 16 year old acts like she is 35 hits swears to everyone even teachers we did counseling grounding etc nothing worked can’t hollar and you can’t swear and you can’t spank them it’s considered child abuse I had the state called on me for it so I called the cops on her and she coward down was scared she came out of it now she gets three strikes and I tell her I am calling the cops not playing anymore
Make her volunteer at a homeless shelter and/food pantry She’s in the need of a “make-over” 
and a new perspective. For every nasty remark you take something of hers and donate it to some kid less fortunate. Sounds like you need to do less talking and more action. She knows it’s wrong and just doesn’t care. When she does it, say nothing and have her watch you go grab something of importance and remove it and put it in a donation box And most importantly Follow Through! Don’t feel bad. Your the parent You lead by example. Better she learn these hard lessons now than for some stranger teach her later. Anything you say at this point falls on deaf ears.
Get her into a behavioral therapist
When my daughter does that I respond with"let’s try that again" and make her say it again with the pepper tone/respect. They don’t always realize how they sound. Sometimes I need to model it, I’ll mimic what she did, explain why it’s not ok and then model a better option and make her repeat until she gets it right.
So I have a son with various psychological disorders. We thankfully have grown out of most of this between age and therapy and now are just dealing with “typical” teenage attitude per say. If you haven’t already please take her for an evaluation if nothing else it will give you peace having answers to the “why”. It could be she’s rebelling against her environment but it could be more than that. Regardless having someone to give professional assistance is essential for everyone’s sanity. It may have to get really bad before it gets better. Hang in there and remember they learn from our example not what we say. Talk with love in your voice, reassure her even when you want to explode. They learn from us you can’t say show respect if you aren’t teaching it through your actions towards her and everyone that she observes you interacting with.
ASD, ADHD, Anxiety Mama
My parents would say smack on face…but times have changed you know but we sure learned to think before we talked back just saying.
Naturopath essence drops i find work on my 13 year old. We recently lost her step dad, plus hormones. I put the drops into her water bottles without her knowing as it has been a struggle to get her to take them otherwise. Needs to have them everyday for them to work.
Talk to her counselor at school, take everything away that she likes. DON’T reward her for bad behavior have her do chores at home until she learns she can’t be acting this way. If u don’t put a stop to this now she could do something bad and there’s always consequences. She has to learn to appreciate who and what she has in life there are a lot of kids that wish that they have a home and a family
Hmmm, if she isn’t opening up, as to why the new attitude. There is possible reason, especially if you have taken things away. I was like that at the same age and there was a reason. Did she suddenly change over night? Have you noticed the behavior directed mostly at one person or when a particular person is around? Is she withdrawn any? Spend time with her by yourself, give her attention. See if she will tell you why she is acting out. Otherwise, consistency! Respect. No mam Missy, no back talking, it’s gone for a week. End of it. Way I did it and way it was done to me.
How about a hair brush on the Bottom.
Get her thyroid checked
Sounds like it hormonal . She could be going through puberty early. Maybe a doctor appt . If it hormonal she wont be able to control her moods so taking her stuff is probably gonna add to the mood…just ignore the mood.
Best thing to do is get her into therapy .
Mine is in counseling and it has helped a ton. She is learning emotions and feelings and how to navigate through it all. They’re growing and don’t understand their emotions at this age and it helps to get help.
Find out what is making her angry. Is she perhaps harbouring anything that is troubling her. Also, before you take her to any therapist/psychologist perhaps you should also seek the guidance of a therapist/psychologist. Children usually act out if there is something deeply hurting them
Their is a can that is ALWAYS on a shelf in my home that you might want to borrow. It’s called a Can of Whoop Ass. Sounds like you might need to open it up on her and give her a large serving of the contents.
Once again, glad I am CHILDFREE!
The board of education on her seat of understanding
Take her to a therapist
Most of us not all grew up this way I don’t know how old everyone is making these comments but if I did any of those things you got a good slap across the face or a bar soap in the mouth. Now everybody wants to go to therapy if that works great.
My kids do this from time to time. But they are both ADHD so it depends if they take their meds or not that day.
suck it up buttercup going into and the teenage years are the worst!
It’s like I wrote this exact post. Right there with you sister. I won’t make it when mine is a teenager 
Consistency is the key. Make sure that your expectations for her are the same every day. She needs to know what the expectations and boundaries are, and those need to be consistent. Everytime that she’s disrespectful or pushes boundaries she needs a consistent consequence. During times when she’s behaving well she would benefit from positive praise for her good behavior. We, as parents, teach our children how treat us and how to treat others.
I’m having the same problem with my daughter who is 9 years old. Has a NASTY attitude towards her two younger sisters. And snaps at me and her dad from time to time. I have chalked it up to frustration from not being able to go to school and being stuck with us all the time. So I started a mom and me notebook that is for our eyes only. No sisters, no dad just me and her. She has the freedom to write me anything she wants without the fear of getting in trouble and any kind of judgement. And so far it’s actually worked. She calmed down a whole lot. We’ve also set it up to where she has virtual meetings with her school counselor twice a week because sometimes there’s just some shit you don’t wanna talk to your mom about. I also start the day off with her every single morning saying “what are going to choose to be today?” And she replies with “Kindness” it’s worked wonders, thank the lord! That kid was STRESSING me out.
Take it all away and stop giving it back.
Its called puberty. Girls are just hormonal and moody. Pick your battles. Otherwise you’ll be constantly fighting her. She probably also feels backed into a corner with everyone coming at her asking her why she is the way she is. She doesnt know because shes 10 and hormones are raging through her body. Its an awkward age. Give her space and pick your battles. Approach her with empathy and just listen to her when she needs to let it out. Try not to demand respect. My 10yo is the same and yes, some days the snappy moodiness drives me mad too. But I try to think “this too shall pass”. Your girl isnt going to turn into a monster adult. Shes just going through an awkward life stage.
Be consistent. Don’t give her things back until her attitude improves. She’s only testing her boundaries. Kids should be able to respectfully express their opinions, but disrespect is another story. I don’t tolerate it.
Maybe come up with a signal that the way she is expressing herself is crossing a line. Let her know that you want her to express herself but she is doing it in a disrespectful way. She needs to stop, back up, rephrase, or write down it down. Maybe she is not even picking up on her tone and it will make her aware. If you give her the signal and she continues than she earns an appropriate consequence. (Just an idea 
)
don’t threaten DO IT!! I dunno if this applies I ot my period at 9 so I was like a teenager at 10 n as I look back I was a terrible kid!! and my parents took stuff (threatened 1st n 100% do it if she does it again) they grounded (it was the 90’s I got a few backhands too not saying to do tht just saying thts what happened to me) n take her clothes n habe her give them to a kid on need. Ask your mother if she is comfy with talking to her if not then take tht time away u are the parent n u gotta let her know tht! I was a horrible tween n what my parents did made me what I am today. if u have threatened and neva followed thru she is old enough to see tht n play u on it
Im taking EVERYTHING AWAY! EVERYTHING. She gets nothing but the bare essentials. No shes not having a cell phone, no video games, nope not going out to dinner to celebrate nothing. No she cant go yo the grocery store or to aunts house…What she CAN do is SCHOOL AND CHORES. Girl bye. Got a nerve to be entitled. Like, dont you know how many kids your age would be so thankful to have what you do? Smh like who do these kids think they are???
You gotta model the behavior you wanna see from her and when she’s got a ‘tude tell her she needs to rephrase that kindly. Let her know that words hurt and the way she’s speaking won’t be tolerated. Then figure out what is going on with her to make her so defensive all the time and use compassion when helping her navigate the difficult and confusing emotions of puberty.
I would just take everything away and tell her once she learns to have a bit of respect then she can have things back but I would make her earn them dont just hand them back because she has been nice for a few days of a week , probably just her age but if she knows she can turn on the water works to get what she wants then that’s what she is just going to keep doing , I have a 16 year old girl and I feel your pain it’s hard when they are at that age x
I’m taking notes. I have 12 y o twins!!!
Currently going through some of this with my son and actually speaking to a therapist about it. Its not about asking why because they will close off, its about telling them you understand they are having big feelings, and then going through a list of things they can do when they are feeling irritable instead of lashing out. Teaching emotional regulation is hard and has to be led by example too. Example: when she’s feeling irritable, encourage her to do something that makes her happy. Listening to music, colouring, going for a walk, etc.
My 10 year old daughter is being the same. I am thinking puberty. Her 10 year old twin brother is still sweet and respectful
Some kids go through that early. I went through my angry rebellious stage early too and by the time I was 16, I was pretty mature and had a lot of respect for my parents. I personally think it’s best to go through that phase before they are 16 and have cars and want to do adult things and such lol
Talk to her the same way she talks to you and when she asks why your talking to her like that you tell her thats how she talks to you … that if she wants to talk to you like a normal person should then she will get treated that same way she treats you… and take away her phone
You must set your expectations and consequences and stick to them.
I’m mom to 4 girls, ages 19, 14, 11 and 8.
Hormones abound in my home, but what I do not tolerate is disrespect.
My girls know that they are entitled to their feelings, whatever they may be.
But what they are NOT entitled to is to be disrespectful to me or dad, or any adult.
I don’t care how mad they are, they will not raise their voice, cuss, be a smart Alec, or in anyway be disrespectful in my home.
I’ve been a strict mom from the start, and so far, so good.
Talk to your Dr its most likely puberty related but they can refer you to a therapist and just make sure nothing else is going on.
Treat her with love and respect, as hard as it is try not to lose your shit when she’s acting out. Also please stop comparing her to a teenager like they’re some awful thing, because like it or not she will be one, one day. You don’t want her feeling awful for just existing 
.
Lots of one on one time and undivided attention has helped with my daughter. It’s taken almost a year though but she’s starting to mellow out. I just try to remember I’m here to guide and support her. Children are human too, with their own thoughts and feelings. They aren’t here to be controlled
Sounds like hormones. Stay consistent and extend punishments as needed. Make her earn her things back. Nice gestures, kindness to sibling, volunteer time. 5 acts of kindness gets your phone back for example.
Hide. hugs it’s a faze I have gone through it four times now. You’ll get through this. And yes your gonna have to tell her enough of the fro&;&(:&ng attitude. Nicer though. Hugs
My 7 year old does this, I know not everyone believes in hitting (not beating) their kids but I grew up in a house where “Spare the rod, spoil the child.” It taught me to respect my parents real quick. I don’t beat my daughter by far but I started popping her in the mouth because it hurts her feelings more then anything and it made her star thinking before she spoke. Also making her write 20 times “I will think before I speak” tends to help to lol I wish you luck though momma! Kids are hard!
Figure out what shes trying to gain. My sd gives attitude because she doesn’t run dads house i do…we dont give in to her she gets sent to bed early and explain why its not ok
I wish I could tag my daughter in this she’s 13 . She is the same way
My daughter’s attitude started at 5 when she got her period. She gets shots to stop puberty but it does not change her attitude. I take everything away and send her to her room until she calms down and remembers she’s the child and should just do as she’s told. Let’s see how long I can make that work 
then again my kids don’t have tvs or tablets or phones. Good luck
Going through it with my 10 year old. Be patient. It’s a hurricane…board up the windows and sit tight. Pick your battles. Be understanding…if she’s started puberty that’s 90% of your issue. Here it started over the summer and it’s just now kind of starting to get better.
I give her her space and make time for just her and I to sit and talk or watch tv or play a game at the end of each day and it seems to help. I just let her vent. They’re learning to navigate their emotions and hormones at this age and I really do think sometimes (not all) they just don’t realize how they come off is nasty. I recorded her one night when I asked her to take care of the dishes (she does every single night) and played it back and she was very disappointed in herself. That’s when I started seeing a bit of a change.
Just be stright up her , tell her you love her and want her to be happy and have a better attitude , that you want her to have nice stuff and food she likes and that’s good for her However, you are only really responsible to provide food ( not her favorite) clothes ( not her taste) as for lifestyle privilege she only gets what she gives . Dont argue dont yell just do and stick to it till she makes better choices.
Give her space don’t ride her ass and take her phone if she has one. I have a 12 year old step daughter and she’s got a fierce attitude with her we’ve learned her phone is her bff and we’ll take it she acts right or we just give her her space let her go be alone and do her thing.
I did one on one away from home for a girly day helped my 3 girls
Ive got a 12yr old daughter who’s got a stink arse attitude, everything she says has an undertone of attitude and sass but I know it will pass 
Hormones. Girls are developing a lot faster now a days. Keep talking and having open communication with her. Model behaviors and how to talk to each other. When you see she is getting an attitude and angry tell her to go take a break and then come back and talk when she is ready.
I make my daughter practice it again… when she has an attitude, I talk to her about it and say, “now let’s try that again” and I make her redo that entire scenario in a more respectful and appropriate way… I mean I just don’t like the disrespect and she has to learn whatever it is, whatever she is saying there is a better way to say it… good luck
My daughter is the same way. We’ve started asking her to go to her room to calm down so that she can come back and talk to us when she feels ready. She’s hormonal, and has bad days. I give her privacy. She has limited phone and Xbox time.
You just need to give her room to grow. Allow her to let out her negative emotions to herself, in her room, then she can talk to you guys about what’s upsetting her when she calms down. It is working for us.
Homeschooling isn’t helping,these kids feel very trapped. It doesn’t help with emotions.
Kid needs a reality check! Take everything! She earns her stuff back. We dress these kids like adults, give them adult electronics like phones then wonder why they think they are teenagers. She can earn her stuff back by doing her chores or just being kind, polite and sociable. Kids need and respect rules, it makes them feel safe. She is going to be wild for a few but she will work it out.
My dad would have us sitting in a dark room on the floor. Couldn’t lay down or sleep had to sit there until he said it was time. He whooped us one or two good times but we had that coming lol
Underlying issue, is her father in her life? You are supposed to guess what’s wrong cause she doesn’t know how to talk to you. Take her in a safe place, sit down with her and tell her you know this isn’t the girl you once knew, but if she doesn’t tell you what is wrong you can’t help her, you will always love her no matter what it is, it could be anything now days, best thing to do is to try to get her to open up to you, what ever it is you can not overreact
Remember that you 10yearold/teenagers "attitude " is partially hormonal but mostly a response to the stress/frustration( work or personal) that is in the adults of their lives.
Therapy. She may be going through something that she can’t pinpoint or vocalize herself. She maybe even getting ready to start her period.
Give her the basic thing she needs and if needs anything else tell her to work for it or change the attitude towards the rest of family
Don’t just cut back, take away things and don’t give them back until she chooses to treat people kindly. If there are plans to do something fun or she’s invited to a party tell her she doesn’t get to go to any of them. If she’s going to be rude and disrespectful she doesn’t get to have fun. You might consider a therapist if nothing seems to work. A therapist can help find better ways to express her feelings and help you figure out how to deal with her when she acts up. I know girls hormones are kicking in early, but I’ve told my girls that it is no excuse for treating people badly.
She needs something positive to focus her energy. A musical instrument, physical activity (sports,dance,etc.) My daughter really blossomed when she got a keyboard and started learning songs. She still has attitude sometimes, but its Helped.
They’re called hormones. Calmly work with her on how to deal with feeling the way she does appropriately.
I’m guessing hormones are playing a role in this and she may not have a real reason other than just the ups and downs she’s feeling. One thing I would look at is are you respecting her? I never understood demanding respect when I was being disrespected & still dont.
My 10 year old went through the same thing (she’s now 12) and it was awful. I had had enough so 1 day I sat her down and said “you have 2 choices, if you continue to talk to me like rubbish then I will be the mum who looks after you enough to keep you fed, watered and safe but nothing extra or you can talk to me with respect and I will be the kind of mum that will bend over backwards to help you with anything you might need and have fun together”. I think she was then quite shocked with the idea that I really could stop doing all the extra bits that us mums do and it seemed to have struck a cord as she changed almost instantly, she needed the odd reminder but overall she was much better. Good luck in finding something that works for you x x
First of all I don’t see how that is funny. Ladies, stop being mean. I think continue talking it out and taking her favorite things. Give them back with limited access with good behavior. Make her write a one page apology letter explaining her actions and what she felt at that moment. Maybe she can’t express herself through talking and maybe writing or art is helpful.
Also, every once in a while I tell my kids I’m going to tie them to the tree and throw peanuts at them so the squirrels can tickle them but I’m not going to do it lol I love seeing their reaction.
Definitely hormones. Maybe hug it out more too. This year has been tough on ALL of us and kids have got it the worst. They can’t socialize, missing proms and graduations and games etc… lots of TLC
My 10 year old son is acting this way too. He knows he always has an escape to his dads and can do whatever he wants there. He’s been downright evil to the point I want to throttle him. I’m seriously putting him in therapy when he comes back from his dads.
I agree with hormones. Reward the good behavior. It works better than punishment. Mother of 6 (3 girls) here
Call Kids In The Middle. She’s hurting. Her perception of her life is that she is not heard. Obviously there’s a divorce in here someplace. Get her help now and make the future easier for everyone.
Hate to tell you but 10 to 12 year old girls are assholes. I raised 4 so I know:joy:I wanted to put all of them in a box until 13…People complain about teens? Not me.lol I’ll take 10 teens to any 10 year old. Lol My youngest is 11 and I wanna put her in a box at least twice a day. I dont allow disrespect to adults but I usually ignore the rest…pick your battles is my best advice. I’ve taken away every single thing…no friends…no cell no laptop…nada…she could care less…their hormones are all over and they’re a hot mess. The good news is they outgrow it lol My older girls are 29 28 and 23 and we often laugh about how I couldnt stand them:joy:They’re great responsible women! This too shall pass.
First find out if there is something medical go on and therapy. I’d also scale, back privileges and let her earn them. If she wanna talk grown she should have responsibilities like she is grown. Tighten things up, get a wipe it calendar and line out the hours of the day for her. Of she wants extras she can earn them. You decide how and what.