Some of ur households sound like this. No wonder kids can’t wait to get away from their parents 
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My son is ten. He has a hard time opening up, he is also, Autistic. When he goes through big feelings and changes he gets upset. Kids right now are literally being cut off from school and friends due to covid-19, playing on more electronics than before to avoid boredom and sadness of isolation, schedules being changed, not seeing other parents often ( if not at all), not to mention puberty rearing its head to remind you of pimples and mood swings… Talk to your daughter, try new activities she enjoys ( I’d hate always doing what my parents thought as fun), cover all your bases to find the root of the behavior before making any quick choices or punishments. Shes ten, shes a kid, listen to how she feels and work through it together. Otherwise when she is a teenager you’ll have bigger problems.
A lot of this is abuse. Treat her the way you would want to be treated instead taking things away.
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Record her when she talks back then let her listen to it.
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wouldn’t hurt to have her talk to a therapist
I got smacked when I talked back
Take her to church. Take the whole family
I don’t think violence is the answer, whatever you decide to do 
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Sounds like she needs attention. Even negative attention is still attention.
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Honestly I give my kid a spanking if all else fails. 
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Start spanking or popping her in the mouth.
Mines 8 going on 18 
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Give her a good old fashioned hiding on her butt.
Good lord! Change this to little sister and this could be about my daughter. Will be reading ALL the comments.
Try spanking her bottom a just her attitude
Same question but a 3 year old
The best thing I’ve ever learned in parenting is to step away from the situation and look at your child as just a human being… instead of their age or instead of your child. Every single person in this world goes through stuff and handles it differently every time. That would include all of us adults who seem to think we are above having a bad day (or even a bad few months.)lol. Take a look at your own emotions and think back on times where you were emotional for no explainable reason or when you were just having a bad day and understand that our children ALSO have those kinds of days. 🤷💛 It might surprise you to find out (if you could get her to open up) that she’s honestly hurting about something and acting out in this way because she doesn’t feel heard. It’s super hard to get your teenage girls to open up to you… that’s no secret. But you definitely don’t build the trust up to get to that communication by punishing her for having feelings. I literally sit our three-year-old down and look him in his eyes and say “I know you’re dealing with a lot of emotions, how can mommy help you?” And that helps him get through his upset moment almost immediately. A simple, similar approach may work with your daughter. (note that our oldest daughter is 23 so TRUST ME I understand the struggle lol)
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My Grandma and Mama whooped my ass. Worked like a charm. Really quick like.
10 is when our fun started. Hormones are a b*tch.
One or two slaps across the face when she talks nasty to you will do the trick
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Cut the communication; cutoff tv & social media–allow them to talk only when ask…otherwise>>>~~~boy/girl school… Out the mF way…booom-!*!!
Wash her mouth out… 
My daughter is the same way
Hormones. Sadly the more you fight hormones the more something that is already confusing to her starts actually hurting her because she doesnt understand the depth of the word “mean” when you say it. Shes not as in tune with the changes shes going through she probably already feels attacked with you guys addressing it. I’d honestly look into therapy in order to learn more mature and affective ways of communicating with her. Help her find her new older self…i personally wouldnt want to address behavior when it comes to hormonal problems because you never know how a young mind filled with hormones will choose to take things…thats why i like buffers. Someone like dad to stand there while you and daughter talk through him about what is going on while he keeps it healthy and calm…grandma in her case may be more helpful. Its also new to mom to deal with this level of attitude so having someone keep mom level headed helps too. Grandma can chime in when attitudes get too high and help the more frustrated party see where the other is coming from. Its also helpful having a third because now you both feel like someone is there to validate both your feelings instead of someone getting too worked up and the other not feeling heard.
I think she’s seeking negative attention and may feel she doesn’t get any or enough one on one with you. Any little positive thing she does praise her and tell her how proud of her you are etc. Lay it on a lot. She’s trying to push you away subconsciously to see if she’s worth the work for your love. Plan time alone with her and be soft and gently and tell her" You can’t push me away I Love You and we will work this out together!"
You can get free help in your state. Where do you live?
I would definitely say puberty and hormones, my daughter is like this to been that way since she was about nine she’s now 12 still hasn’t started her her menses , I secretly pray for the day that it does start, when she talks to me or anyone like that she gets grounded for being disrespectful she also gets her things taken away her makeup blah blah blah blah blah the end of the day she really doesn’t give a shitt, she also has ADHD so on the days she doesn’t take her medication is twice as bad oh, I do notice however this kind of talk and rudeness comes about when she’s really bored to, when she’s kept busy she’s less likely to be sassy. Other than that I’m navigating this blindly and I don’t know what to do myself and seriously considering some type of therapy or family counseling
Sounds like the kid needs therapy
Honestly my daughter had the same attitude at the same age. We actually pulled her out of basketball because she was so nasty. We actually considered boot camp for her. We definitely showed her the places she was going go. We also did soap, standing in a corner holding a phone book. She is 20 now and truthfully she doesn’t get taken advantage of and is definitely a leader not a follower. Definitely stay on your path of parent and she is child. It will work out.
I personally would grab mine up by the arm, and bust her ass. But, like I said, that’s what I would do.
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I dont believe its hormones or she would be the same way with your mom and she isn’t, she’s nice to her. I would bust her ass and it wouldn’t take but a few times and bet ya that smart ass mouth would stop… To many pansy ass parents out there that let there kids control them instead of the other way around… Bust her ass,show her who the adult is…
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My daughter tested me and I had to put the brakes on it, quick. She is 15 now, and sometimes she gets out of line…but the bottom line…my house, my rules and you will show me respect, just as I show YOU respect. She has her privacy and I watch from afar to ensure she doesn’t feel like I’m stalking her, but, she is 15 and I was once 15, be it 32 years ago. I know a teenage girl. 
I never had one that acted like that, even as a teenager. She and I were very close, partly because from a little girl, I took her out to dinner in a sit down restaurant, so we could have a special girl time, where the only rule was we could talk about anything she wanted and I would not get mad or upset with her.
Edit. She had three older brothers, and girl time wasn’t easy to come by.
Could be just a hormonal phase. My daughter went through this and according to my mom, my 3 sisters and I did as well. With my daughter I increased her chores and told her if she wants to act grown, she needs to do grown up things. She didn’t like it. Hopefully your daughter grows out of it like mine did.
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Start with spanking then stand her ass in the corner head against the wall hands behind her back quietly for at least 1/2 hour each time with a loss of something like phone or some other privilege until her behavior is acceptable…
Go old school, whip her ass, Take privileges away, Including internet phones computers!! After ALL who is the parent here???
Beat her ass, that’ll put her in check.
Try rewarding her for good behavior.
My daughter did this when she was probably around 10. The last time she did it, I took her tablet (that’s what she was being an asshole about) and flung it out the back door (in the rain). I get they have crazy hormones, but that in no way is an excuse to be disrespectful. She still mouths off, I’m sure, but she does it out of earshot like I did when I was a kid.
I smacked the attitudes away at times🤷♀️.
They got disrespectful.
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Smack the shit out of her, don’t tolerate that disrespect!!
Heather Sutton you aren’t alone babe
You have tried the ol’ backhand across the room yet? Worked for me! I never did that shit again!
When she does it stand up TALL and stamp your authority facial expressions , tone of voice very very firm AND NOW GO TO YOUR TOOM YOUNG LADY until you can be half decent , body language , facial expression and tone of voice is a big important part of it no pussy footing around and IF she insisted on doing in front of others she will embarrass herself when you come down hard on her and say DO NOT SPEEK like that now go away until you can be nice .
Taking her shit away isn’t going to do ANY good!!! You need to find the source as to why …she is being disrespectful!!! You have this 
Five across her mouth Everytime
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I remember being her age and being a total asshole for about 6 months. I had no reason why. I just was extra sassy. A few smacks to my mouth by mom shut me up…followed by my surprise period no one was expecting. To this day before my period I am a cruel awful person the first 3 days. Hormones are a bitch
Joni Atlookan some ideas?
You should have nipped it in the bud from day one
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Beat their ass!!! Worked for my parents. Should probably started a few years ago though. For more tips hit me up.
Reminding children of “ how would you feel if someone spoke to/ treated you that way?” Goes a long ways sometimes… maybe this child lacks natural empathy…
All you can do is keep on at her, stay calm , ride it out … hormones have kicked in - it will pass xx
Did u try asking your mom who she is good with to talk to her an find out d reason for behaving like that
You gotta remember she’s a human too.
As an adult, you get frustrated and lash out at times, well children do that too and at her age she has all these emotions because of raging hormones and she doesn’t understand that and she won’t for a few years. I don’t think she only needs therapy, I think you do too so you know how to approach situations
When you work it out can I get help with a 5 year old like this 
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Taking stuff away is cruel when they’re dealing with stuff they don’t understand. Check for ASD as it can manifest in girls at that age. She sounds like she’s miserable.
My eight year old is the same way…I have her write standards. I go by increments of 25 and if she says IDC in that rude voice I double it and so on. She absolutely hates it!
Im not helpful in this department as I have not hit the hormonal years with my kid. Just here to give you my condolences. 
also Im assuming since Im not an asswipe to my mom anymore better days will be in your future. 
My 11yo daughter mostly talks with attitude when she is not getting what she wants or annoyed with siblings or myself or dad, I take it as hormones I’ve tried taking away technology, grounding and girls day she goes good for some time then attitude comes back.
I now just remove myself from the situation and tell her to come back and talk when she has some respect she will now go to her room for a bit then come back and apologise I just keep reminding her also things wouldn’t be so difficult if she was just straightforward with me in first place 
If it’s really out of hand speak to a behavior therapist.
Right in the mouth every time she gets disrespectful
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Go cry in the shower while drinking a glass of wine. Get out and tell them you love them and no it’s probably going to get worse and that liquor store exist. I have an 11 year old girl, a 7 year old girl, and a 5 year old girl. Good luck momma.
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Get her involved in counseling they just deal with mental health problem they do teach coping skills for her.
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Take take take take and take away. I have 4 teens and two of them girls. We don’t do disrespect in our house hold period( southern momma). But the key is taking away and keeping or grounding. Explain is what we do to all my kids grounded for a amount of time no cell phones unless we are gone or they are at school, no permit (driving) one kids is 16. No switch Xbox friends tv and stick to it. My 16 who is a boy is grounded from phone tv and friends for a whole month all because of grades and attitude he had
Hormones. When all else failed with mine, I’d start acting like they were… when they didn’t like it, I’d ask if they thought I did because that’s how they were treating me. It did make them think… it didn’t fix the issue but it did get a bit better when I’d point out what they were doing.
In our days we never spoke to our parents disrespectfully or we got my fathers strap around our bum and if we swore or were rude to anyone would wash our mouths with soap.8 chosen in our family and none of us were ever disrespectful to anyone ever.We wernt game enough.Im all for old school.
Do not coddle her lay the law down if it were my mom I wouldn’t sit for a week no tv no phone nothing therapists are bleeding hearts and will talk to her my mom says spare time he rod spoil the child I have siblings and we all stand on our own two feet you are her mom not her freind
Consistency is key in almost every parenting decision. If the behavior doesn’t change the items don’t come back. If you give them back and the behavior starts again we remove said items again. Also communicate. Have her go to her room to calm down. Wait a few and then go talk to her. Explain why that’s type of tone/verbage/attitude is not okay. Have her try again.
But be Consistent. It’s exhausting but it’s necessary.
A pop in the mouth or a swat on the butt may change her attitude. However she could be starting to go through puberty. Ages 9-13 is the time for hormonal changes and sometimes you just have to pray you both make it through this time.
I honestly can’t believe so many suggestions for therapy… seriously ladies… you are her best therapist… you just have to take the time… not just an hour, but a week/ a month… just you, no electronics… therapy doesn’t work… it masks the problem for a moment, then they “need it” again… for the nice price of 100 an hour while you sit in the car…
Take her to dinner instead.
The system take lots of parents right away and the child know it.i have 3 grands childrens live with me and i let them know their is only one Adult in this house. They know grandma donot have no disrespect.age 10-14-17 all ways keep your family in pray the number one.
You said step dad . dont know that story and best you keep that to yourself ,maybe she is blaming you because her real dad isnt there for her she may blame you or maybe herself and the anger is her way of coping
In these trying times the kids are going to get snarky… and parents are going to be running out of patience… hang in there
Maybe watch how you and others are talking to her, what she is watching in television/seeing through social media, what her friends are doing etc.
Also, it sounds like you have tried a lot of punishment for the behavior that you don’t like- have you tried rewarding her or making it a point to say something positive to her for engaging in the behavior you do want to see?
Also, maybe get her into some counseling. She may not know what is bothering her.
Also, try to remember that she is learning, preteens are a lot like toddlers only more vocal and mobile. Their brains are going through so much.
I had to take away all electronics for over a year. And things returned to normal, I pulled TVs out when COVID started… and it’s about time again…
Do you own a paddle? Use it, it’s an attitude aj.
Watch movies about mean people & while watching be explaining the throughout & why it’s important to treat people good. Sometimes watching a really meaningful movie can hit a heart just right. She may need counseling also. Make sure you quit spoiling her and treating her like she is above others first!!!
Bu I have three boys… they get snippy, mean, and boys can be violent…
Children today need a good whack on the rear end the disrespect is disgraceful
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Maybe order a dbt skills book and work with her.