How should I handle my child being bullied at school?

What do you do when your kids are being bullied at school and you actually witness it?

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Principal first and give them the opportunity to stop it. If they donā€™t go directly to the bullies parents yourself. Been there done that

Be firm, be loud, and do not back down until it is handled correctly. Keep going up the school chain of command as needed to get shit taken care of

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After dealing with a principal that pushed things under the rug, I finally went in the school and told him straight up, either he could deal with it or I would. And if I had to deal with it Iā€™d make damn sure he didnt have a job when I was done.

I bully, the bully. I lived in the inner city, it was a gang, I made them understand the I would protect my child at all costs.

Punch the biggest in the mouth , that usually works. :+1::thinking::sunglasses:

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Well first off. Is he being bullied, or the possible ā€¦ ā€œMiscommunicationā€ or ā€œMisunderstandingā€
Iā€™ve explained to mine to try understand first, maybe what they have said isnā€™t exactly what they mean but at home thatā€™s how they talk so it is their ā€œnormalā€ . However to be clear and upfront when informing the other person how your fealing with the situation is keyā€¦To be Clear.
On all the emotions fealings.
If they then, choose to ignore rationalizingā€¦ Iā€™ve told them that they will have to deal with the consequences of their actions but after trying to reach an understanding they still feal the same way. They are aloud to react as they wish.

It doesnā€™t always go this way but I try.
Even when my kids in error we always cover the whole thing. How would he deal vice versa.
Were getting there.

Well if the school dont handle it. If their is an older sibling. Let them let that kid know they will not put up with it. Seems the school never can handle it

Find out the childā€™s address & take it up directly with the parents. If it continues, teach your kid self defense. Fuck, teach your child self defense any fucking way!!

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Things have changed since Iā€™ve been in school. I punched the guy that bullied me left me alone. I stuck up for a person that was being teased. And Iā€™m little and if need be never had to but I would scrap. Having kids now and the ā€œprotoā€ call Iā€™ll follow to a point but not afraid to pin the little ficker w his arm behind his back and call him/her out!

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Go through the chain of command and simultaneously teach your child to fight back when necessary. Not ideal but sometimes a necessity.

Told mine to punch him up,he hasnā€™t been bothered since :blush:

Keep and eye on your child. Reassure him that youā€™ll be there for him anyway you can be.
Talk to him often about what heā€™s feeling.
If you believe in God, Iā€™d keep him heavily in prayer.
Children have committed suicide over these things.
So reassure your child of your love for him and complaint his strengths in a time like this he needs to feel reassured heā€™s loved.
But also have open talks with him to make sure heā€™s not becoming depressed, so talk to him often about how he feels.

You go to the school. It is illegal for the school allow this to happen. They must have in place tools that will help a child being bullied and the child who is doing the bullying. The school then takes it to the parents to address the behavior

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Seriously? At school? Who admins this site??

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Teach your kids to defend themselves and not take crap from the bullies. I know itā€™s not the best advice and violence doesnā€™t solve anything but I went through it with my oldest and after begging the school and bus driver to help with no results I had my son defend himself. The bullying stopped.

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Go to the principal demand that you, your child, the other childā€™s parents, and that child all have a sit down!

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If words donā€™t stop bullying, your kid should punch them in the face. If that doesnā€™t work, punch the bullyā€™s parents in the face.

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I went to EVERYBODY in the school. Counselors, teachers, aides, student Dean, vice principal, principal, bus drivers. I even got on the bus n got mad at the high school kids picking on my 3rd graderā€¦ After that, told my son go for it. No one wants to helpā€¦ When he fought back guess what happened? They blamed him for beating up the white kid that had been picking on him the whole 3 yrs n my son Whooped himā€¦ It just depends. Tell him to hold his groundā€¦
If u have done EVERYTHING u can Legally, after that let him loose.

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Teach your child to fight back.

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Tell your child to stand their ground. Yeah, they will get blamed, because victims are always blamed, but dont allow your child to just stand around and let it happen.

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I tell my kid to deck them in their shit

I would have my child beat the crap out the kid then make that bully watch me beat his mommas butt!

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You tech your child how to throw a punch and knock the bastard out

Take it to the principal and demand the situation be handled. If nothing is done about it then escalate it to the superintendent of the district and inform them that the principal did nothing. There are policies and regulations in place about how bullying is to be handled.

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I got local news involved and threatened to go public with the bullying issues not being addressed in the school system. They had an officer waiting at the door when I went into school, and let me just tell you, my daughter never got her head slammed into another window again. Sheā€™s too kind hearted to fight back, Iā€™ve tried so hard to get her to. We dealt with so many issues that she was getting off the bus crying every single day and finally asked me not to put her back on it. Enough was enough!

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Me???.. Snatch a kid up and then deal with the parents.

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Teach them to defend themselves.

Bullies bully because they think you are weak

I told mineā€¦ Donā€™t start a fight but donā€™t be scared to finish one.

If itā€™s verbal bullying tell your kids to toughen up. All their lives they will have somebody verbally abusing them. Either ignore it or come up with great comebacks.

Teachers do not care so a zero tolerance at school means nothing. Teach the kids to handle it.

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Go to the principal if that donā€™t work go to the school board and if that donā€™t work find your local news channel .

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Kids can get away with punching people, that method works

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I tell my boy if anyone hits you hit them back twice as hard.
Iā€™ve also talked to the bullies parents personally aswell as the teacher

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Do what you think is right and tell your child to never feel guilty for defending themselves!

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My kids are taught if someone hits them to defend themselves. :woman_shrugging:

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Enroll your child in martial arts ASAP. As for right now whoā€™s bullying him? A peer or adult? Is it verbal or physical? I reccomend talking to the school social worker. Ask her to help your child learn strategies to defend himself from the emotional abuse from bullies. If itā€™s physical tell your son he has your permission to fight back. Even though the school will probably give him a little vacation youā€™ll be proud of him.

If itā€™s an adult contact the principal. If it is the principal contact the superintendent.

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Iā€™ll be straight out honest my advice would be to teach your kid to not take no other kids crap. But see where I live thatā€™s really the wrong advice because at school they do two things they either put our kids in the Baker act or our kid is in trouble as well for standing up to a bully basically. I remember being in the office after my child had been severely slapped by another child and she got mad and hit the kid back when my kid was supposed to be put in in school suspension well what was going to happen to the other kid right. Weā€™ve had children in our district last year before Corona hit 201 + students so far. School year that got got put in the Baker act. I mean our districtdoesnā€™t even have to contact the parents they can just do it and a friend of mine said my daughter was so drugged up after that Baker act she didnā€™t even realize her own mother was standing there to pick her up. I donā€™t know if they realize what they do to people in that Baker act man they had my husband on a table with a sock shoved in his mouth trying their damnedest to shove my husband with all these needles alright. I called every hospital and every facility within my city limits nobody could tell me where my husband was located they would not tell me where my husband was located and it did not matter I was his wife no no no you better not try that on the phone. song dude across the hall let my husband know they are fixing to send him off to a place in Chattahoochee and me away from his family and my husbandā€™s like no theyā€™re not so he ended up tricking one of the nurses and getting the nurse died on the table and shoving the sock in his mouth and taking off out of that hospital or they had Panama City Police looking for him everywhere. when we got back home we have dropped to an argument with inflicted the police to get called well they wanted to take my husband back to the Baker act because she eats or call from the hospital by God. I had to have another police officer tell the other police officer that my husband did not need to go back to the Baker act and that he was capable of not harming himself or not harming anybody else.

Punch a child in the faceā€¦?
Sorry. Idk how old your child isā€¦at certain ages, reacting can make it worse.

Entirely joking!! :grimacing::joy:

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Once my child is of age Iā€™m getting her in self defence classes for this specific reason. I want her to beat the bullies ass. :woman_shrugging:

I would talk to the school administration immediately and explain whatā€™s going on

Where are you that your child gets to go to school UGG we are far away from anyone going to school here in Oregon

I dunno how Iā€™d deal with itā€¦ probably fight the parents :woman_shrugging:t4:

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Unfortunately homeschooling is the only solution. I was bullied. I went to 6 different schools and was the same at all of them. Teachers and principles donā€™t care.

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Well i have had to bite my tongue ALOT because youā€™re meant to lead by example rightā€¦ plus it is a bit wrong haha
However these kids came from the opposite way to my boy and were yelling nasty crap at him until they saw me.
They caught me on the wrong day.
I managed to drive slowly past one when no one was around and I gave him the filthiest look I could.
I said do not be a bully he replied with i wasnā€™t and all I wanted to do was loose it but i said yes you were an you He aaid ok. I said he had better watch himself and stop that nasty behaviour.
He was absolutely crapping himself.
He hasnā€™t gone near my son since.
Little shits need the scare sometimes to pull them back inline.

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I will always teach my kids the bullying is wrong. But its too late for me. Iā€™ll bully the shit out of the kid making mine feel bad.

I go straight to the office have your kid and the other parents and that child and have a talk with the principal and if that donā€™t work get the school police involved I had experience with this the begging of last school year I had to get them involved then the little girl told my daughter her dad was gona come shoot and kill me so nip it in the bud before it gets worse. My last resort wich is probably unorthodox but Iā€™d take it into my own hands and whoop some mommy and daddy ass. Also my kids know someone starts hitting them they have a right to defend themselves from personal experience if your getting hit and donā€™t do anything and the principles see you cower down you still get introuble if you fight back same thing introuble dammed if you do dammed if dont but donā€™t ever go throwing punches just cause.

THATS MAH PURSE I DONT KNOW YOU. In other words get professional protection help and speak to the school. Have them make professional notes on it so itā€™s in the childā€™s file that the problem has been discussed. Teach your child that theyā€™re perfect the way they are no if ands or buts!

Just tell your kid to stick up for themselves. Iā€™ve told my 6 yr old many times that if anyone bullies her, punch them in the face.

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Like I tell my grandkids, I donā€™t give a damn how big the bullie is you find something and knock the f,k out of them or punch in the throat. If they got a problem call me weā€™ll fix it real quick

Find out who their parents and go talk to them face to face with the kid their.

I taught my kids to tell the bully that their mom will beat the shit out of his mom if he didnā€™t leave them alone. Then I made sure to stand near his mom at pick up a few times just to scare the shit out of him. :tipping_hand_woman::tipping_hand_woman: and no I donā€™t feel bad for it

I pity the kid if I witness itā€¦

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2 of my kids have dealt with bullies. The first the principal actually handled it, which was nice. The other defended himself and got suspended. He was pushed and threatened and hes been told not to start it but finish it and he did. But if I were to see it in person Iā€™d walk right up to them and tell the kid they better get away or ill tell their mom and get them in big trouble. Not a threat, a promise :woman_shrugging:

Always told our son, donā€™t swing first but you had better defend yourselfā€¦
I know he would have gotten into more trouble than the bully but we didnā€™t careā€¦
And I know people are gonna start oh heā€™s a bully to, no the punk who picked on him, swung at him first is the bully, my son is just defending himself because they never taught there child how to be a decent human beingā€¦

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The schools NEVER do anything about it until your kid finally fights back they want to give you calls and put them in suspension. I was raised to never bully or start a fight but to also never let anyone punk me. Same way I told my son and he wouldnā€™t fight back until he got tired of it. Now No one messes with him and if they try they donā€™t do it a second time.

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Honestly, I have always taught my kids to stand up for themselves. My oldest is deaf, and he was getting bullied big time. We signed him up for martial arts. He is now an 11 year old black belt in taekwondo, blue belt in kempo karate, and has recently begun his jiu-jitsu ground training. Kids his own age or even a few years older dont stand a chance. And i pity the kid who picks on his younger siblingsā€¦
At his old school the kids learned quick to leave him and his friends alone. He changed schools going into grade 4, and being the new deaf kid with a hearing aid got the attention of a whole new set of bullies. 3 fights in the first 2 weeks and nothing since for the last 3 years.

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Iā€™ve taught my kids to go to a teacher if that doesnā€™t fix itā€¦ Break a nose šŸ¤·

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If I witnessed it I would say something, in an adult manner.

If I saw it happen Iā€™d be the one getting in troublešŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø

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My mum used to tell the bully offā€¦not rudely she would just say dont do that or thats not very nice and usually that would be enough but times have changed so much xx

I dont take bullying light at all. I was severely bullied where it caused my mental health to decline at only 11yo, had to be medicated, taken out of school to be homeschooled, counseling/therapy. I was & still am traumatized. Therefore today Iā€™d tell me child to woop as$. It isnt the result to everything & Iā€™m a peace maker than anything but my parents talked to the school/cops had many meetings nothing worked. I now advocate for myself & those who are bullied

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Our school district wonā€™t do s*** about bullies but make excuses for them. They told my kids if someone is hitting them just wait for a teacher to step inšŸ¤Ø. So I told all 3 of my kids if someone puts hands on them to beat they a**. They have all been suspended a few times but are more confident in themselves.

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So you stood there and watched your child being bullied and did nothing? Let me tell you now, from you see a child bullying other kids they donā€™t fear any adult. So my motherā€™s instinct would of kicked in to help my child.

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I would tell them to be careful and me personally find out where the parents live and show up at their house to talk. If they dont care. Find the kids and scare emm. Nothing that involves physical contact ever but some people just dont care you have to take drastic measures.

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I jumped in the kids face and pointed my finger at him and dared him to touch him again. It did end up with the parents calling the school but the principal handled it rather well and it didnā€™t happen again. Mama bears claws came out and could have pushed him myself but didnā€™t.

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I spent a ton of time at my kids elementary and some of the kids dont realize who my kids were. One day a ā€œbullyā€ was talking to me and my kid walked up to hug me and whispered in my ear that he was the mean one. I simply said oh no, that canā€™t be rightā€¦ he says that youā€™re mean to him and pick on him! Thatā€™s not very nice at allā€¦ he said ā€œitā€™s called jokes, manā€¦ā€ to my son and walked away. He said he really didnt have any problems after that. BUTā€¦ I had built a rapport with a lot of the kids being on campus so much so I think he stopped because I was always so nice to him and I said something to him.

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From the mouth of a policemanā€¦you are entitled to say something to the kid who is bullying. As long as you donā€™t touch the kid or threaten them then you can speak up. If itā€™s at school stay on the staff,. I have years of experience with my daughter getting bullied. As soon as we moved out of the district, she made new friends and her bullies eventually apologized. But before that I got the run around between the sheriff and the police department and the school. It was a headache, but Iā€™d do it over again if I had to.

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I pulled my son out when speaking to the school and the childrenā€™s family didnā€™t work. Heā€™s been homeschooled for 3 years now and doing much better

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I always tell my daughter if someone bully her and was physically hurt she has to fight back. I know itā€™s wrong to teach my daughter to be violent. But there are bullies, we canā€™t avoid that. And we canā€™t stay at school 24/7. We kust teach them to defend themselves.

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Most schools only handle it on the school level. They dont contact the parents unless there is bodily injury. The bullies parents may not even know he is a bully. Go have a chitchat with parents. That is what we had to do. The parents were never contacted by the school on any of the occasions my son reported the bully. We took care of the issue and made sure the principal was very much aware that his policies dont work and mine do.
Good luck and hug your kid tight.

We went to the school was still going on. Had a meeting with the parents and the kids acts just like the parents so I told my son if he lays a hand on u first to beat his ass! About 2 months later it all stopped when the bully decided to try and use my son as a punching bag and my son layed him out. Sometimes taking the high road is not the right road.

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I scheduled several meetings with the mother & Assistant Principal. She never showed up. The AP said he knew this child & parent & didnā€™t expect her to show. So my husband took my daughter outside one day & taught her how to fight. We told her to never hit anyone 1st, but to defend herself. The bully hit her one day & she tore her up. They both got a ticket for fighting at school & when we went to court the judge dismissed my daughterā€™s ticket because I had all my documentation with dates & times. Never heard from the bully again.

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My son was being bullied and the teacher gave all kinds of excuses as to why she didnā€™t do anything about it. I stared her down! I let her know I was not going to tolerate it. I donā€™t care what the bullyā€™s story was. She was helping him become antisocial and mean. I also had a different teacher bully same son. I immediately pulled him from the class and his twin. Threatened to go to the district and press charges. Chances are the teacher sees but is ignoring it. Meet with the teacher and principal and make sure to take notes, record it and any promises or denials they make. If things donā€™t change then go to the district and then an attorney. Include the other kids parents.

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If you witness it, you should shut it down immediately, but your child ultimately has to stand up for themselvesā€¦win, lose, or draw, they have to stand up to bullies every time. Even if they lose, never let them think youā€™re scared.

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Iā€™m not afraid to say something to a kid. Obviously be tactful, but firm. I donā€™t let other kids act toward my kids the way I wouldnā€™t allow my own kids to act.

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Tell them to stand up for themselves, school admin right after, and what worked for me, tell them to get ahead of it. If theyā€™re old enough to discern between a little self deprecation and low self image. Tell them to take the power away. If you can rag on yourself better than they can, theyre powerless. Donā€™t let them see it bothers you. Throw some back at the bully. Be smart about it, show them theyā€™re just weak. Doesnā€™t work for everyone, but did for me.

I feel so bad for little kids going through this! I had this issue last year. A boy hit my daughter and I wanted to knock him out myself but I did the adult thing and spoke with the teacher, teacher spoke with the boys parent. I was truly angry and told my baby never to let anyone hit her. Start with teacher, principal and if nothing is being doneā€¦ Iā€™d take my kid out of there for their own safety and peace of mind. I read an article recently about the 10 year old who committed suicideā€¦ and I canā€™t understand it. Who sad our world is. Protect your baby.

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I think I would tell the teacher and then principalā€¦ And if still not resolved we finding where this kid lives!!! Bc Mama Bear will show up and show out!!

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We contacted the school and discussed it with them. Their is only so much they can do, so we enrolled our son in karate. We are blessed to have a dojo in our area that teaches kids how to deal with bullies non violently, but also teaches them self defense if needed.

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Ive literally contacted the teacher myself. When it continued i took a visit to the school and asked for a conference between the two children and parents of my kid and their kid. If they wanna bully my kid, i HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD to assure it ends.
I dont like wasting peoples time. ā€¦ My kids time is being full of hurt and tears.
Therefore. Mama GOT TIME. And theyre about to make time too. :joy:

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I had a friend who was bullied terribly. Finally he got fed up and hit the kid so hard he broke his arm! He says the 6 weeks in the cast was worth it and he would do it again. Donā€™t always wait to be hit before you hit.

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I taught my daughter to fight back. As long as she doesnā€™t start it, she can sure finish it. I will also call the school and give them the chance to address it. if they donā€™t ill request a meeting with the parents and then Iā€™ll handle it

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well firstly depends on how old the child bully isā€¦ I have had UNKIND (thats all i am gonna call it) with a 15 yr old who king hit my 15 yr old and caused her to hit her head on concreteā€¦ I wonā€™t write what i told her, but her mum was in attendance and i guess she could feel my vibe about what happened cause she didnā€™t speak upā€¦ I also told the mom if i gotta throw hands because of your kidā€¦ then youā€™re gonna catch hands too. PARENT PROPERLY.

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I think it sad how some parents teach their children to do the right thing and then their are parents who just let their kids do whatever. I agree with some parents on here about my child fighting back but thatā€™s after Iā€™ve complained to the school or to the parents and nothing was done about it. There was a kid who was bothering him and he made that kid cry and it stopped. I donā€™t encourage it but I wonā€™t allow my son to get hurt either.

I called the school so they were aware and let them handle the bully while I sat my daughter down and explained that it happens to lots of kids and sheā€™s not alone. Then told her about what happened to me as a child. Thereā€™s emotional strength in knowing youā€™re not alone.

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I remember using my backpack when I was a kid as a weapon. It was always heavy. Usually from books that I would check out from the library. I loved to read. I stopped getting bullied when I started swinging my backpack around and would hit a bully with it. The bully usually went flying. It was very satisfying when one slammed into a wall. Not only did he get knocked out but he also broke a few bones. He never messed with me again.

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Well my daughter was being bullied and the girl wrote her an awful note! So I told my daughter to correct it with a red pen and give it back!

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Iā€™d say to talk with the school and parents first. When that didnā€™t work for my kindergartener who was racially bullied by a 10 yr old I had very aggressive words for her mother. Needless to say, weā€™re approaching our first year of homeschooling for my daughterā€™s protection and academic success. You do whatā€™s best for your child the best way you can WITHOUT getting locked upā€¦cuz thatā€™s definitely an option.

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My brother put his son in karate. They teach you a lot of discipline and rules. They teach not to fight unless itā€™s the last resort. The schools donā€™t do anything as much as they promote it. So give them the tools instead to be more confident and be able to defend themselves.

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My kid recently went through this before Covid hit. We moved her to another school in district because the school she was attending only ever punished her for retaliating after her cries for help were unheard. My kid now knows how to defend herself.

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I went through this and I just told the bully kid I ainā€™t the one to mess with and that my son knows how to rip your balls off he just ainā€™t done it yet lol :joy:

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I would let the school know AND the parents if possible. If my kid were bullying (Lord help them if they ever DO) I would hope someone would come let me know, make SURE that I know. So I can handle it. The school can only do so much at home is where the real correction needs to happen. IMO

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Hold the school accountable for protecting the children in their care.

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I would say something to the kidā€¦Iā€™m not saying cuss him out but let him know not to treat other people like that and then take it to the principal because they have to do something about it (contact parents, have a meeting, etc) and if it keeps up you can file something with the school districtā€¦you have to make sure to report all incidences

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Honestly it all depends on the age of the child.
If he or she is old enough to intellectually process that bullies are cruel for no direct purpose; and to emotionally process the fact that they did nothing to bring it on themselves, itā€™s not personal, they were just the nearest or seemingly easiest target for their bullyā€¦ then work on building their sense of self worth, strength they can draw from and use to become unshakable. The bully will tire of not getting the desired response.

But if they are not old enough for this, they need the comfort and security of knowing their parent will shield them from harm. If this is the case, first seek out the parents of the bully to see if you can work something out, if that doesnā€™t work then go to the school- all the way to the top of the system if you need to.

It is a sad fact that bullies come in all ages, but given the proper emotional tools to handle them at an early age will help throughout an entire life time.

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My kid was bullied at school in first grade ā€¦ We told him to tell the teacher several different occasionsā€¦ He was in karate we finally told him if he does it again beat the hell out of him sure enough a week later it happen ā€¦ I get a call from his teacher and assistant principal saying we have your son in the classroom refusing to go to pe ā€¦ ( the next class he would see the kid) ā€¦ Apparently my son saw him at recess tried to avoid him the kid found him walked up to him asked him if he remembered his name my son said no the kod punched him so my son proceeded to beat the hell out of the kidā€¦ And walked away when the bell rang to line up ā€¦ He didnt want to get into another fight so he refused to go to PE ā€¦ I asked him over the phone is this about the kid thats been bullying you and he said yes mom and i beat the hell out of him at recess and called him a little ass hole ā€¦ I said okay you are not in trouble your dads coming to get you ā€¦ I told the vice principle i would be there the next morning for a meeting with her and my husbands coming to pick him up to and take him to get ice cream ā€¦ Yall have done nothing to protect my child so he had to do it himself ā€¦ Its sad when a kid has to put it into his own hands because going to a teacher doesnt do anything ā€¦ Hes never beem bullied since ā€¦ Hes in 3rd grade now

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Go to that childā€™s parents house and show them why they better teach their child right from wrong

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So what do you do when your kid is the bully?? Taking away privileges, spankings, explaining why its wrong, etc hasnā€™t got them to stopā€¦ what do you do then?? My child is the bully and I HATE ITā€¦ I was bullied and tormented as a child until I started dotting eyes when the bullies wouldnā€™t leave me alone. It hurts my heart to know my child is hurting others like I was.

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I flatout say something and put the fear of God in them. I have a fierce mom voice from years of coaching soccer. Iā€™d totally call them out in front of everyone. ā€œHey kid youā€™re acting like a jerk stop being a bully keep it up and Iā€™m calling your parentsā€. Call it how you see it especially if youā€™re right there. Be honest, be loud and make a threat you will carry out.

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This happened to me. My son was being bullied on the school bus. 1) I called his teacher 2) I called his principal 3) I spoke with the parent at the bus stop. The child ended up get suspended from the bus. He was so scared of this child. Iā€™m that crazy mom that I would address it if I saw it happening.

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