I’ve posted before about me being assaulted by my son’s dad’s girlfriend’s parents at the local bar. My son’s dad and I have always gotten along so great and have always shared holidays; it’s always worked out perfectly for everybody. Well, ever since he’s been with his new girlfriend, they are literally out to ruin my life and have been trying to get full custody of my son and trying to get me into trouble whenever possible. So we went to court, they were trying to get full custody. Nothing changed; I still have sole legal custody. The only thing that changed is that now my son’s dad picks our son up from school on Thursdays and drops him off at six on Sunday, every week. We never even discussed holidays in court. I think we both just assumed we would keep doing what we’ve always done, which is celebrated together because that is what’s best for our son. My son doesn’t have school on Fridays, so he spends all day with his girlfriend because his dad is at work. Before we went to court, my son would always spend Fridays with my mom (his Mimi), who is seriously like his favorite person in the whole world, and his two cousins the same age as him that live with my mom. So since this new girlfriend has been around, this is everything that has happened so far… On a Monday, I asked my son’s dad to have our son overnight so I could take a family member out for their 21st birthday. He agreed, Tuesday morning he dropped our son off to my mom at eight before he went to work (i stayed at my boyfriend’s house that night) I worked 7-9 that morning, so I got to my mom’s house a little after nine and picked up my son. My son’s dad works for my dad, so after I picked up my son, I went out to my dad’s shop so I could talk to my dad about some unrelated stuff. While there, my son’s dad said I smelt like alcohol… obviously from the night before. Well, next thing I know, the cops pull up to my dad’s shop. I was hungover, but definitely not drunk. I had my license, so I had no reason to deny that I was driving. They asked me to do a field sobriety test. Apparently, my eyes bounced, anyway, I ended up getting a DUII since there was still alcohol in my system from the night before. Come to find out; it was my son’s dad’s girlfriend who called me in, she called in saying she saw me swerving. This was a false report; she was in a town 30 minutes away from where I was. So they basically set me up, and now I have a duty. Then my car got robbed, I really really feel like they had something to do with that, but I have no proof. My son’s dad slashed my tires one night, which was all on camera, so I filed a vandalism report. I got in that fight with her parents at the bar. I spent a night in jail for driving with a suspended license (i have to drive I work out of town so until I get my hardship license I have no choice) cop said some bullshit reason for pulling me over, said my license plate was dirty, and he couldn’t read it… so I really feel like they probably called me in again, but still…no proof. I kept my son overnight on Halloween even though it was a Thursday… I invited them to join our trick or treating; they chose not to come. So the next day, the girlfriend texted at 8 in the morning saying she was coming to pick up my son. I said no, not yet, I was just about to leave for work and my boyfriend, my son and his kids were all still sleeping. I asked her to come at 12, that way they would have time to sleep in, have breakfast, my boyfriend could get him dressed and ready, and they could play for a little bit. She agreed. Then I get a text from my boyfriend saying she showed up at 1030 and just walked into his house, didn’t even knock. So now for Thanksgiving… my son’s dad text on Wednesday asking what the plan was for Thanksgiving. I told him, he and his girlfriend are welcome to come to my parents for dinner, my son’s dad has always come, every year we haven’t been together. I have a niece here for only five days, got here Wednesday, leaves early Sunday. So we planned on taking all the kids to the coast (2 hours away) on Friday to see a huge light show, Santa is there and everything. So I told my son’s dad this plan. He said he planned on taking our son to his mom’s house, which is 2 hours away (opposite direction as the coast) I told him to please be cooperative and to compromise with me. So even though it was a Thursday and he’s supposed to pick him up on Thursdays, it was a holiday, so it was kind of an exception. I still invited them over for dinner and said I could drop my son off on Saturday when we get back from the coast. He thought this was completely unfair because he planned on taking him to see his family. I told him, my niece is only here for a few days, you have our son every weekend you can take him to see your family literally any other weekend. I said I have always been cooperative with him and have never denied him seeing his son and to please just let me have him till Saturday. He never texted back after that. So Thursday morning, he and his girlfriend show up to my parent’s house; we all assumed they were there to eat with us as a family. Then my mom heard the girlfriend whispering to my son saying they were going to see daddy’s mom and they were going to take him to the indoor trampoline place (that place closed and definitely wouldn’t have been open on Thanksgiving) so I got worried that they were going to just leave with my son. so I did, I picked him up and put him in my car. they ran out of the house and parked sideways in my parent’s driveway so I couldn’t leave, my son got scared and kept saying he wants to stay with me. I drove over the grass to get away. they started following me (i don’t have my license), so I got scared and turned back around, grabbed my son and took him back into my parent’s house, and locked the door. the whole time my son is yelling saying he doesn’t want to go with them, he yelled, “I hate you guys” they called the cops then the cops called me. so then my son starts crying, thinking I’m gonna go to jail. he wanted to be with me, not them; he made that very clear. the cops never came. his dad and girlfriend sat in the driveway for an hour! we just went on about our day and tried to have fun. my son keeps saying he doesn’t ever want to go to his daddies again, says their mean, and they’re trying to keep him from me. he sees all of this; he can feel something is different. it breaks my heart. everything could have been so good, but they have completely ruined mine and my son’s dad’s great co-parenting relationship. they are ruining the way my son thinks of his dad, and I hate that. we have always shared holidays, so that’s exactly what I tried doing. I have always been so cooperative with him, so why couldn’t he have been cooperative and just let me have him till Saturday? it’s like it’s all a competition to them, they have shown no sign of cooperating with me, and it sucks! is there anything I can do or should do? any advice?
Be careful they’re gonna use that DUI in court now.
You need to follow the court order period! Now you have a dui and your son was with you? You really need to be careful. They are gonna use all this stuff you posted on you in court. Go back to court alternate holidays and let him have his son when he is supposed to. You are both acting like kids and the only one suffering is your son.
Go back to court and get something settled for holidays. And I would fight him getting him every weekend
Get a restraining order against her if you can. That she is not around you at all
You’re going to lose your son. A DUII, withholding custody on dads parenting time, driving while suspended… you’re a mess lady. Let that boy live with his dad while you get your life together. Dad DOES NOT have to cooperate with you, period. He has his parenting time established in court and sounds like he always shows up for it. You’re the uncooperative one, thinking you can keep both of your child whenever you want.
You can ask that his girlfriend cannot watch or sleep over while the son is with his father.
Reckless to try and escape while your child is in the car. Stop having him and his girlfriend over for family dinners, you guys have your own thing so your child gets to share holidays with both sides. Life isn’t always roses and as a parent we shouldn’t give our children false expectations. Couples seperating is a part of life. Both sides can have equal time with the child as long as the adults remains adults.
Just hearing your version of events… seriously get a grip on your life. The only common denominator I see in all these problems is you. I feel like you are a slight bit ratchet actually.
They really setting you up.
Write everything down leave no detail out about what they do and dates and times save all text messages to use in court file a restraining order for your son against this lady so that she can’t be around when he’s with his dad
U were drinking the night before but had enough alcohol in your system 2 get a dui? I think not. This is gonn be harsh but it needs 2 be said…get ur goddamn life 2gether get ur license back stop making excuses stop putting ur son in danger n do whats best for him! period!
The only person who has co trol over yoj… is YOU! You are doing and behaving exactly like they want you too. You are the example to your son first and to the court. You need to follow the law. You need to refrain from acting out. Tire the grown up. Control yourself. Teach your son a lesson. Follow the laws. And gi to court and have everything g spelled out so there are no loopholes or ways to mismanage or communicate.
Do NOT blame anyone else for your dui but YOURSELF
You were the one driving under the influence not them
Doesn’t matter who reported you they did the right thing
As for the holiday thing maybe you could’ve SHARED your son on that day it being a holiday and his dad’s LEGAL day to pick him up…and Friday should’ve been a no go from the gate because Fridays are dad’s days NOT yours
You should follow the court order to the T, even if it falls on a holiday. Your ex can get custody based off you not following the custody order put by the judge. I think the DUI is gonna end up hurting you in court. Be careful.
You should get your act together and all of you should grow up. I feel bad for your son honestly. What a mess. He’d be better off with your mother. I can see why someone besides his parents would be his favorite person in the world
Go have coffee with them and try to build a coparenting with both of them make sure the kids isn’t there
Get back in court and get her away from your son.
That’s his gf, not his wife.
I’m sorry. Not trying to be mean but you need to step back and take a look at what you posted and your life. You chose to drive drunk. With your child. Does not matter who set you up or who called. You chose to get into a bad fight with her parents. You are driving around with your child on a suspended license. You’re a mess. Your child’s father sounds like he is there for his son and wants him safe. He wants him on his time. Your son isn’t scared to go with his father. He watches YOUR actions and feeds off them. You’re scaring him and quite frankly you’re causing traumatic experiences and scars he’ll bear his entire life. You need to straighten up. Stop drinking and stop breaking the law. You’ve got a four year old child. Step up. Or step back… sounds like dad is a pushover and girlfriend is helping him grow a pair.
Obviously the girlfriend has major issues. And why does your ex still have a job? Your dad needs to fire his ass. Let him play games. Your boyfriend should’ve called the cops when she walked in your house. I’d file a petition and say his girlfriend is getting out of hand. Make it so your boy can not be left alone
Oh and get your boy one of those gizmo watches. When he’s with his dad you can see where he’s at, how fast they’re traveling and can listen in and hear what’s being said around your son.
I would put that boy in counseling. Go to court so that she is not allowed near your son because your son is scared. I would even make it so he has every other weekend and every other holiday. You should also never drive while having a suspended license or having been out the night before & drinking heavily as that can still look bad on you. Sharing is great but honestly when they move on things tend to change. Ignore and avoid the drama. Get things legalized in court and go from there.
Unfortunately things are different now, you’re going to need to split holidays if you all dont get along dont use him or his girlfriend for ANY help, dont tell them you were out drinking and ask if they can pick up your son! If they are out to get you so much then dont let them know so many details! Sounds like you have other support, use family and boyfriend! Maybe itll change in the future again, but for now it sounds like things need to be strictly business
Why are so many people blaming the gf?
She didn’t drive drunk with the child
She isn’t violating the court ordered custody schedule
She isn’t driving without a license with the child
She isn’t freaking out and scaring the child
I feel like everyone is pointing out what mom has done wrong, however, even though she doesn’t have her license right now doesn’t make her a bad parent. They’re taking every advantage of the situation she has with her license to get her in trouble to try and take custody from her.
I personally feel like you need to talk to your sons father because before the girlfriend he obviously put your son first and had a good co parenting relationship with you. Now, he is putting what his girlfriend wants ahead of your son, which is clearly to hurt you. She is probably jealous of you and the relationship you had with him, now doing everything she can to try and hurt you, including getting you in trouble to take your son from you. What I would do is address holidays with the court, if it isn’t agreed on it is generally every other year for each holiday. Like mom even years and dad odd years… that’s how mine works anyway. I do agree that you need to get your license fixed or get hardship so that’s something less they can use against you. Also, the DUI thing is BS but maybe you can fight it…did you do a breathalyzer?
Sounds like dad and the girlfriend has the best interest for the child. You, you are just a mess. Read what you posted. You have put your son’s life in danger more then once.
While i understand how you feel… You did and are doing some pretty stupid shit. You have no license and are driving for starters. I’m in that same boat and am stupid as hell for doing so too, but I’m not gonna cry when I get pulled over or something cuz it’s legit all my fault and there’s no excuse. Then there’s leaving with your son while being blocked in. The DUI wouldn’t have happened unless you were legit still drunk. They need numbers to prove that. Sober people fail field sobriety tests all the time. The girlfriend needs to good punch straight to the fucking throat. FOR REAL. Nothing worse than someone coming into the picture and screwing up a perfectly good thing. I think you should go to court and make it so she is not allowed to be with dad at any pick up or drop off. Fuck that. I’d catch a case over a bitch like that
So much is being unloaded here. Soooo idk how much you drank but if you still had alcohol in your system you shouldn’t have ever picked up your son. Next, if your sons dad slashed your tires and was caught on camera wouldn’t he be in trouble? Next, you can’t expect him to follow and agreement and you not. He is with someone else now and he wants to create his own memories. Thinking that he will go to your family’s house for holidays foreveris completely irrational. He should have time alone with his son and not having you be there. I think you all are acting immature and need to get a grip. And if you want to coparent I would figure out how to have some
Common ground with the girlfriend because she’s probably not going anywhere.
Get a solicitor and change arrangements supervised visits only .
Everyone saying that it’s the woman’s fault are all dumbasses. The mother gave birth to that child so that child is physically hers. she has sole custody of said child so she can keep the child whenever she feels like she can, or her child says he doesn’t want to go; and with the child saying that he hates his his dad‘s girlfriend and his dad that says something when he’s with them. Do not listen to all these people saying you’re uncooperative because it’s a holiday you’re allowed to keep your child since you have so custody no matter what the time is established because it is a holiday there is an exception for said time. She’s driving without a license because she has to work, how many of you would drive without your license if you had to drive to get to your job, she doesn’t have a DUI because she was drunk she just had it in her system like most hangovers. Everyone on here are dumbasses because for one you have sole custody which means when you have sole custody they have to run things by you first no matter what that time period is established whatsoever. Driving without a license; a lot of people do that, they were trying to take her son on a holiday which she already talk to him about, so she was not being uncooperative. Everyone telling her to get her life together, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK; her only issue is that she’s driving without a license I’m pretty sure most of you have driven without your license, do you know every time you leave your house without your license that’s called driving without a license. Do you know every time you leave your license somewhere or you don’t have it on you while you’re driving you’re driving without a license. She’s not being uncooperative. they’re going to use that DUI and they’re going to use her suspended license because that’s what they do in court but the girlfriend should not have say over her child; the girlfriend should not be telling her child this is what we’re gonna do because it is her child not the girlfriends child!!! Most of you drive without licenses every time you leave the house without your wallet or your license on you so stop giving her this bad ass advice and be a fucking adults and put yourself in her shoes and his shoes. Don’t look at it from an outside perspective look at it from if that was you in a situation on both ends whether you’re the father or the mother. Don’t give her this bad advice because something ticked off in your head reading the story because you’re taking the whole story into a different direction than what is being told. her life is together only thing that’s wrong is driving with a suspended license, the DUI- she was not drunk when she got that taken. she has sole custody of her son and her son seems to love his mother and love the arrangement that they had before the girlfriend was present it’s not the moms fault it’s the dad‘s girlfriend’s fault because she’s getting in his head doing this shit causing him to be Uncooperative. I don’t think anyone should put their two cents in it if they’re not looking at it from both perspectives. if they’re having talks and text messages and they’re both compromising with each other but he won’t compromise on a holiday that’s his fault not hers. if you’re not looking at it from both perspectives I feel like your two cents should not be put in at all. For one him and that girl is setting her up, he’s slashing her tires, she’s calling the police when she’s nowhere near this woman, she’s trying to run off with her son on a holiday and the boy is screaming he hates them and kids are very much in touch with their emotions and their feelings so if you can’t look at it as the kid feeling some type away so there is an issue with The father and his girlfriend then your perspective is not needed. Honestly do not listen to these dumbasses telling you to get your life together because your life is together except for two things that they set you up on.
Here’s some real advice Make note of every conversation, screenshots whenever you call and talk to each other voice record it and let him know that you’re going to record him and every time that you’re together let him know you’re going to record him for the court sake so you could have physical evidence. Once you start doing that and having evidence of him cooperating with you and then being uncooperative thats going to show that she talk to him he agreed and he’s letting the girl getting to his head and being stupid. So take screenshots record calls record everything when y’all meet up and when y’all together keep records of everything.
There’s so many things wrong with this from both of you. Acting like that around the kid, driving without a license, getting a dui, stealing, fighting, not fallowing the court order. You and him need to see a mediator before you get into trouble. Then it can be put into writing and given to the judge. My ex and I have all the holidays planned out and it’s in written in court. Mediators are big for judges and if you two go and have agreements written down (where the gf can’t go and influence) the judge will be happy. You need to stop driving without a license especially if you get pulled over with your kid in the car. Get your life together. I feel bad for your son and that he needs to go through all that and see all that and it’s not just his dad and his gfs fault.
The only who is making you look bad Is you. First off not being mean but if you dont have licenses then you shouldn’t drive. They have uber’s and public transportation for a reason. Second why would you drive under the influence but especially with your child. I am glad they called the cops. If you would have had an accident your poor son could have been seriously hurt. Then running from dad so he couldn’t take him on his scheduled pick up time. You could of caused an accident and again hurt your child. Your child Is witnessing all of this stuff that could have been prevented. Co parenting isnt always easy but you are making it really easy for them to get custody of your son.
That was his weekend with your son and I honestly think that is just messed up he had every right to try to get your son since it was his turn with him regardless of family being down or not
Read what you wrote about your life…
You ALL need to do some growing up. I feel sorry for the kid.
You sound like a super control freak. Dude, he’s got his own life going on. He and his gf don’t want to snuggle with you and play happy family. It sounds like you’ve still got a thing for him and are using your kid as a pawn to make him do what you want. “Be cooperative”?? How about YOU stop calling all the shots and consider others for a change?
If you had him Halloween wouldn’t Thanksgiving have been dads day anyways? I get you wanted to spend time with your niece but you also need to respect he has another family too.
Wow… Just wow… This is all a mess… first of all, nobody is to blame except you for the dui, driving without a license, breaking the custody agreement, fighting in public with her parents, and fleeing with your child when the dad was trying to get him for HIS time?
This is insane… you need to get yourself together sounds like dads place is where he needs to be while you clean up…
You sound like you need a counselor. Read your post it made me sad for your son!!!
Well I’m not going to be as judgemental as others but I will give my advice. 1) get your hardship license ASAP. 2) go to court and get it all in writing. EVERYTHING.
3) Take a deep breath. Your son needs you to be calm and rational.
4) Don’t let this get to you. No one is perfect and a few mistakes don’t define you. Learn and move forward.
Y’all are all toxic. Just stay away from each other and work through the court systems. Trade off parenting time at the police station. Grow up for your son before you all ruin him.
Also you made the choice to drive around while still under the influence WITH your child. I’d have called the cops too
Imo you’re being selfish. You’re mad he isnt going to be at your beckon call anymore because he has his own life. He doesnt have to spend holidays with your family to have his holidays with his son.
Driving with your kid and having a suspended license will get him taken from you.
I am sorry but- you are a mess. Better hope they didnt get you on video running off and then driving off with the child on HIS time. You sound crazy. Why the hell would he and his gf want to hang out with you and your family on holidays? Get over it. He moved on. No more playing house. Your DUI story makes zero sense. Only logical conclusion is- you were drunk. Sorry. Maybe they should have him for a bit while you get your shit together.
You’re selfish ways will traumatize this child. If Thursdays are his day, you should’ve celebrated at noon. Moms always feel entitled more than the fathers. You got a dui because of your actions not anyone else’s fault.
As judge Judy said that kid is yours and his. Not just yours, not even mostly yours. Its both of yours. Gotta watch who you have kids with
Just stick to the orders or go back to court to change them. And don’t do anything they can get you in trouble for. Times have changed, you’re gunna have to deal. And don’t assume anything. Have everything in writing, in detail.
I stopped reading at “got a DUI.” You don’t get a DUI for having alcohol in your system. You get a DUI from having over a specific amount of alcohol in your system. 0.08… far and above what would be in your system from “the night before” unless you had drank yourself close to death because 0.08 is still inebriated.
First it’s drama. In the whole place. Next write all them off. Just take care of u an the kid. If not your never be. Happy
Why in the world would you think your ex would still go to holiday gatherings he has moved on, have you.
One of you are going to end up in jail, and from what your saying it could very well be you.
Go back to court whatever needs done and figure out holidays seriously the ex has moved on without you and you need to move on and stop making big scenes in front of your child maybe try counseling. Good luck
Seems that there were no problems until there was a girlfriend. Dad sure turned into a real jerk.
Oye. That was difficult to read.
No offence but your the one ruining his sons relationship with his dad. You panicking and withholding your son on holidays your son feeds off that and we say things like that to keep you happy. It’s his Thursday which means holiday or not that’s his day suck it up and let him be a father. What makes you think you can have every single holiday and that he would want to share it with you and your family when he has a girlfriend and has moved on. I Co parent perfect with my kids father but I’m not sitting at his house with my husband having dinner lol. Split the holidays one year you have Christmas Easter Halloween and thanksgiving and mothers day and next year he has Christmas thanks giving Easter and fathers day. And your sons birthday you get him half the day he gets the other half that’s what me and my kids father does and it works perfect. Yes it sucks not having your child on Christmas and holidays but how the hell do you think the father feels. My daughter father will have her Christmas Eve tell Christmas noon and they I get her and next year we switch. Why do I allow him to have this it’s because he’s her parent too and it’s what’s best for my daughter. You need to grow up I felt sick reading this all I see is a concerned father and a good step mom who both just want to spend time with him. Grow up.
First you said you never discussed holidays so legally it IS his times Thursday and the fact that he let you have him and didn’t straight up say no is good he had every right to not let you see him since it’s his day unless you get it done in court if a holiday is on his days he GETS him nothing you can do about it… and it seems like you blame everything thing wrong in your life on them … you shouldn’t of been driveing intoxicated and without a license I get you HAVEto work but that’s on nobody but yourself🤷🏻♀️
I’m sorry I’m a single mom of 3 my ex and his wife comparenti with me we don’t have a court order we been doing this for years so I’m fallowing this story and a looks like this mom have a drinking problem she was assault in a bar and now a dui so i do want to take your side in this but a starting to look very bad on you part and you are very honest about it but it’s not looking good for you and I know is hard when someone moves on and I know it’s hard to get used to a new situation but you can’t keep doing what you doing it’s just not fair for any one especially you son
Go back and get a court order and don’t deviate from it. Trade off every other weekend and holiday so if there’s something going on during a weekend then it would be easier to schedule it on a weekend when you do have your son.
Well…you were wrong. Point blank, Thursday was his dads day. You made it into a bigger horrible deal. Of course the kid was scared, you sound like it was manic. He has a gf…shit changes. You have to learn to coparent.
First of all quit doing dumb illegal sh*t grow up you cannot drive your child around on a suspended license you will lose him and stop drinking so much that you’re inebriated the next day because you will lose him I get the mother should have time for themselves but not at the cost of their children do everything by the book or you’re going to lose your child
So you were drunk and trying to drive with your kid? No one set you up… you were guilty. Good for then for calling the cops.
As for holidays, your ex does not have to celebrate with your family every holiday every year. You are supposee to either split the day in half (you get him from morning until afternoon and dad gets him afternoon to night) OR you alternate and dad has Thanksgiving odd years and Christmas even years, etc.
And stop telling bf anything you do in your life. Talk about your kid and thats it. Don’t give him any unnecessary info that he could prolly use against you at some point.
Your immature and selfish, dads moved on and wants his rights to his kid without you or your family. You seem irresponsible, “it’s never your fault” type of gal! It’s time to grow up and actually act like an adult and coparent!!!
I don’t even know what to say to this small book of bs and not taking responsibility! How did your family deal with the bs drama? My parents would have stepped in. I’m not sure on advice but the dui counseling doesn’t sound like a bad idea! Get yourself in check or you’ll lose your child.
Wow. A lot going on here!
Here’s what I see:
You have a DUI.
You drive without a licence.
You violate court orders.
You try to manipulate father.
Your actions scare your son.
Obviously you have no fear for your sons safety when he’s with his father. The ONLY things you need to be concerned about are your son’s physical & emotional well-being.
SO… Obey the law before someone is hurt or worse.
Abide by court ordered visitation times & dates.
Have minimal contact with the father…coparent wisely!
Give your son a healthy home to grow in AND lots of love too.
No more “one big happy family” holiday dinners. Why? Because that’s not what you people have. And it’s causing your son more heartache than a separated mom & dad would.
Oh so many problems here !!
Just grow up ALL OF YOU! And put the kid 1st!!!
Oh and please DON’T DRIVE DRUNK!
Stay away from dad’s shop when ex is at work!!
And finally MAKE SUNDAY NIGHT TO THURSDAY MORNING BE THE MOST LOVING, SAFE, & ENJOYABLE TIME OF YOUR SON’S LIFE…that’s your job and you’ll all be happier.
One other thing…why the heck is he still working for your father? Too many ties here time to cut the strings and move in to happiness and peace.
The fact that you willingly put your son in danger tells me you’re unfit to be his mother
Respect the court order or take him back and modify it. Dad doesn’t have to oblige to your expectations or assumptions. You both can compromise but it sounds to me like you’re a bit manipulating. And with all due respect maybe start with some AA.
This sounds like drama at it’s finest. Don’t drive within 24 hours after drinking. (I do it this way so I know I’m protected from the law and not under the wheel.) Even though is should only take a couple of hours to leave your system. But why in the hell was you driving in the first place with suspended licenses. So that’s on you. The girlfriend to your ex has no business picking up your and ex’s son. That’s not her place until she becomes his wife even then she shouldn’t have no control or even have a say in the matter. But what really ain’t right is that Thursday was when he was supposed to be with his father. Be glad your son did spend the holiday with you n your family. Especially since it was his day to have him n he should be able to spend the holiday with both families but all it sounds like you are thinking of yourself n your side of the family. What about his? When y’all made a child together that means that y’all have the same. Equal rights to y’all child not just one of you. So what that your niece came in there always next year. You can’t have everything your way. Time to grow up n try for y’all’s son but not just you ur ex as well n his girlfriend to be supportive of both parents not just one.
You clearly need to go back to court with a clear plan for any future holidays. Since your son’s father usually gets him Thurs-Sunday it was technically his time and you shouldn’t have made plans to go to the coast anyways. That’s not your time so you can’t get mad about that and say he’s the unreasonable one. It blows my mind that you expect him to spend holidays with you (the ex) and even though you invited his new gf doesn’t change the fact that that isn’t a feasible option for all future holidays. This isn’t meant to sound ugly but you really need a self-evaluation, clearly stay out of the bars, and just do right going forward for your son’s overall well- being. Best of luck to you.
Damn I feel bad for the kid in this situation . That’s a lot of shit for a kid to watch and go thru bc adults aren’t able to be civilized and get along for the child’s sake
You’re not together anymore so there is no reason why your ex and his new gf should even be asked to spend holidays with your family because that is just stupid and awkward for everyone and definitely not a situation your son should be in. You need to go back to court and come to an agreement on how to share holidays. Otherwise it was legally your ex’s time with your son and you withheld that from him so he has every right to take you for breaching court orders. Next you need to stop driving around on a suspended license with your son in the car and then getting upset with your ex and his gf for calling the police and reporting you for putting your son in danger. Also if you drank that much the night before that there was even a possibility that you could get a dui the next day then you should not have put your son in the car and driven anywhere no matter how fine you feel. You honestly come off as an irresponsible woman who can’t stand the fact that her ex moved on and has decided to blame him and his new gf for all your poor decisions. I’m sorry if that sounds harsh and I’m sure there is more to this story, but that is how you have made it seem
I’m sorry, but you don’t get a DUI and blame someone else for it. Regardless of who called it in, if you failed the field sobriety test then that’s on you. YOU are the one whom drank enough to still be drunk the next day. If you’re still blowing above the legal limit the next DAY, then you are not just HUNGOVER. And why are you going to his work to talk to your dad? No matter WHO’S shop it is, you could have called your dad or went when your ex wasn’t there. You KNEW he would be there and still went. That is HIS place of employment. If you have a suspended license and still drive then that is ALSO on you. They don’t just take your license away for no reason and you are choosing to drive illegally. I would expect any parent to make sure whomever is driving their child around to be 100% legal and safe. Just because he doesn’t want to continue to share every holiday with you doesn’t make him a shit parent who isn’t co-parenting. It means his situation changed and he wants time with his son and there is NOTHING wrong with that. Start TALKING and figure out what y’all are doing BEFORE it’s an issue that you have in front of your child. Also, how do you have sole legal custody if dad gets him Thurs, Fri, sat, and sun? That’s joint custody. You are not thinking of how this will effect you kid, because if you were then this whole situation would be different. All I read was I, me, my… all about you and how it affects YOU and not your son. It’s not about YOU. It’s about your SON.
So you just assume you get every single holiday just because? And what court gives a set parenting plan but without holidays? Weird. You have sole custody yet it’s 50/50 in time if he takes him Thursday afternoon till Sunday and you’re Sunday till Thursday morning? It was his court ordered day if holidays aren’t set, you’re in violation. Period. No matter how right or more just you feel you should have him. Just because you are his mom doesn’t mean you get every holiday. That sucks for dad. Dad was allowed to make plans with his son on a holiday with his family. Just because you guys spent holidays together before doesn’t mean that’s gonna happen again. I think all separated families would like the Reba show like life where everyone can be grown ups and hang out but it’s not. It’s unfortunate that this kid has to see all of this drama. You took your son into your car and drove off when his father was just utilizing his court ordered time. You knew it was his time and willingly took over and withheld his child you offering them to come over and eat too is not by any means a compromise. That’s you telling him, I’m keeping him on your time because I can. See how that sounds? That’s insane. No wonder your poor son was scared, you’re scaring him by behaving in such a way. Rushing him out the door shoving him in the car driving off like a maniac. Making him think daddy was gonna do something bad? I mean what kid wouldn’t if they saw their mom acting in such a manner? It was his time he had every right to come get his son you and your family were in the wrong period and you’re clearly alienating him. The other incident driving with a hangover and you being still drunk enough to get a dui while son was in car? That poor child and poor judgement on you. It’s time you see how wrong you are. You can’t just up and decide hey I’m keeping him on your days because I want too. That’s not how it works when you make the decision to not be together anymore and if there’s a court order you have to follow it. Dad deserves holidays too no? Now dad slashing tires? Yeah that’s harsh and wrong on his part. Maybe it was your dad that called when you showed up half drunk to his work. You can’t just assume you’re this huge victim and they are out to destroy you. But cops were called rightfully so. If you would’ve approached him in the manner, hey his cousin is here but only for a short while can we swap time? If you offer time for time more than likely there would be more cooperation, but you just assumed you could take over his time or so it would seem from the post. You guys aren’t together anymore it’s going to be different and an adjustment. Sounds like you haven’t grasped that adjustment. Your son does not need to see you behave this way. Take time to get yourself together until you can be mom dad has rights and your son needs the both of you to be adults and his parents.
Poor kid!! Your actions are scaring your kid! Let me tell you something, YOU!! Are violating court orders! You shouldn’t have made any plans without consulting him first!! Those were HIS days and he had the right to take his son whatever he wanted to!! You put your kid in danger when you decide to put him in the car and drive over the grass and take off!! Stop being so immature!!!
The child doesn’t wanna go to dads because he sees your reactions towards him going there. This is not healthy for the child. Stick with the court order and leave your child out of it. You guys are using him against each other, grow up!!
From a personal experience once my g.boys mom violated their parental plan, she has to take him back to court, because the plan is their to avoid this, yes some exceptions are neccessary but this is crazy as hell!!
Technically weren’t they supposed to take your son from Thursday to Sunday? Wouldn’t that mean that they were meant to take your son home after Thanksgiving dinner?..
If you were drinking the night before you shouldn’t have been driving the next day when you still had alcohol in your system, especially with your son in the car…
This story actually makes you look like the bad guy. Pure drama, and law/ court violations every sentence.
Um I don’t see what he has done wrong? If he thinks his son is unsafe, he has every right to report it, I stopped reading after the you got a DUI, you were over the limit so should not have been driving, that’s on you, pull your head in and stop breaking the law, and stop doing stupid shit that he can dob you in for, simple.
Just a few things, you definitely need to stick to whatever is court mandated. If that specific holiday lands on his day, then it’s his day. End of story. Unless, of course you want to go to court to get a specific holiday schedule set up? That wouldn’t be a bad idea. I feel like a lot of the women here are focusing on the DUI aspect without realizing that false claims have been made and stuck before. Honestly, we weren’t there so we aren’t anyone to say whether or not you were actually intoxicated. If you weren’t? It is what it is. Keep your head down and do your best to move on with life. If you were? Then why are you acting like you’re surprised you got a charge for one. And two, you need to sit and think long and hard about what could have happened to you and your child and possibly another human being had you gotten in a wreck. Maybe you can find a way to set up rides to get to and from work for the time being? Just until your hardship license comes through. You will get in more and more trouble if you continue to put yourself in risky situations. The thing with your tire getting slashed is definitely weird and makes me think they are trying to make things harder on you, so why do you think doing something illegal would be a good idea? Lastly, the way you acted on thanksgiving is on no one but yourself. You could have told him that him going to see his family after eating with yours(what real coparenting is) or you could have given his dad his day like it’s court ordered to be in the first place. You overreacting and putting your child in the car and driving over the grass is just looney. I understand that sometimes we don’t always think rationally, but that seems to be quite over the top. Try to be more cooperative and understand that as a coparent, not everything is going to go exactly your way.
Im sorry ur going through this. Everyone who is telling u to grow up is being ridiculous. Its hard when things change and new people come into the picture. Its hard trying to make a life for u and ur kid while doing what uk is right. Its difficult when u and ur baby daddy got along just fine and never had any problems. New girl comes into the picture and everything changes. Most you can do is grin and bear it. I was in a similar situation like 3 years ago. Its a power struggle. Honestly, if she stays in his life it will always be this way, u just have to make sure ur kid is taken care of and watch yourself. My bds girl is still trying to fill my daughters head with her going to live with them and how horrible i am but its whatever. Theres no point in fighting, its exhausting. You can either play their game or you can end the game and stop feeding into this nonsence. Keep ur head up. Your not a terrible person, things are just changing and u need to learn how to incorporate this into your daily life.
I’m sorry you are going through this and I’m sorry that alot of these comments are so hateful. I think the only thing you should do is this: go to court and get a brand new parenting plan. Make sure it is very technical and laud out to be exact. Then you all are to keep going by that plan. Theres no room for errors or fuck ups and no ones feelings get hurt. Stop inviting your ex to family functions, stop trying to be the good friendly co parent, just do everything by your parenting plan. It seems that your casual and carefree co parenting days are over. I’m sorry this new gf came along and fucked things up. This happens alot unfortunately.
There is an app called parenting wizard. Go to court to get a revised custody order to include holidays and stick to communication through the app. She’s obviously threatened that you are close with your ex, she will never stop her bs so go to court and have the judge order communication through the app only. Oh - do your self a solid and sober up. Your drinking is the root of your issues.
You should be in jail for endangering & putting you son in a car & driving drunk. They have special licenses for work hours only. Stop breaking the law & putting you son you love so much in danger at your own hands. Drinking & children don’t need to be mixed. Get help. For his safety. & yours. Don’t drink period when you have your son.
Your doing the right thing hes a dick the dad by the sound of it he does what hes gf says hes a sheep if your son doesn’t want to go with hes dad cause of her then don’t make him go but you shouldn’t be driving around if you have no licence and when you have been drunk the night before everyone no you shouldn’t drive the next day
It is crazy how many ppl are on here bashing this girl saying she is the problem!!! When CLEARLY there was never a problem with anything they did until dads gf stepped in the picture! I dont have any advise other then don’t listen to any of these bitches saying you are a bad mom or you are the problem. I hope everything works out for you sweetie!
All 3 of you need to grow up and put that baby first
Why does your dad still have him employed after all this?
I dont understand why she was able to just walk into your house and take your son. The gf has no rights at all to your son.
You need to go back to court.
Holidays need to be clearly defined. There needs to be stipulations and exceptions clearly defined. But be warned. You may get reprimanded for your behavior as well.
Your son at the moment may be reacting to you. Your reactions to them. Anything you say on the phone or when you think he isn’t listening.
But its also possible its more than that.
Get your son into counseling to talk about what’s going on and if possible hire a advocate for him because you’re going to need to put your son on the stand. Its really the ONLY way that court isn’t going to turn into a he said she said shitshow. But be warned…your son can say what he really wants and you may not like it…but if this is truly about your son’s well being then his thoughts and opinions should matter.
Seriously??? If a holiday lands on his day the HE GETS THE KID! You’re making co-parenting impossible! Your son has to go with them. It’s the law. You’re part of the problem lady and yes him and his gf sound hard to deal with but your ex wasn’t going to cater to you forever. Now that he has a new gf everything will be on her terms. Get over it. Sorry
Seems like you need to give your head a shake and stay out of bars
As if you would even put your son in the middle of this shit!
Usually holidays are put in custody one year u get Thanksgiving one year he foes one year u get xmas day n he get xmas eve follow year switches same w Easter new years day etc… palm sunday…
I do easter he fies Thanksgiving than next year u switch it… or u can agree u get every Thanksgiving n he gets every Easter…
BY THE WAY UR DAD NEEDS TO FIRE HIM!!
You seem like the bad guy here. You’re causing the problems. He doesn’t have to share holidays with you and your family since he has a gf and family of his own. You’re being incredibly selfish and scaring your son. You’re the reason your son sees his dad different rn. Stop being a child. Go back to court to figure out holidays and stick to the court plan. Also stop driving if you still have alcohol in your system. That’s stupid and reckless.
Seems like they are protecting the child and you have excuses for all of your illegal actions. When y’all co-parented civilly before was he enabling your actions by always being the grown up in the situation and maybe got tired of it? Or maybe the new girl friend opened his eyes as to the things he is tolerating from you?
Rewrite your story and imagine how different it would be if you just follow the law …
Seems to me like she’s nothing but a bitch that hates you. Sorry I have to go through this.
I feel so sorry for this child!! You guys act like you are in high school. You should be ashamed. Get help!
Everyone on this story needs to grow the hell up!!! If it’s dads time you don’t decide what your son is doing. Your don’t drive without a liscense and your lucky you retained custody. A DUI is absolutely enough to get emergency custody. If your ex don’t want to do holidays together bc he moves on that’s fine. You are most of the problems and are blaming dad and GF
I would get right girl… Just chill a little. The gf has no rights… Get a restraining order on her… But no more drinking… Go back to court. Holidays are always in the plan… It’s every other year… Then you get your bday and he gets his…
Don’t ask him for help on days that are yours. Get a sitter… And I’d say JUST A SUGGESTION… Bc its what 6 women I know do… Some one get Christmas Eve til 5 pm then the other get Christmas…next year switch…
Court just does this… I’m sorry they failed you on this part… But you gotta get your act together mama…you got this … Fight hard for your boy. Dad gets his time, its already ordered don’t give them a reason to make it full time for dad.
Fuck these lames… They don’t know how hard it is or how easy it is to twist a lie and run with it… My ex did it… He won and won with his lies BUT I KEPT FIGHTING then bammmm they all crumbled and the judge took his rights for so my false accusations.
You got this mama.
Plus what if the roles were reversed? And she worked for his dad and he showed up intoxicated enough to get a dui and with their kid? Everyone would be up in arms, and if he fired the mom then everyone would be outraged. It’s not always the dad. The dad isn’t always the bad guy. You don’t have enough details to judge
I would stay clean as long as you can. Not going to lie, sounds like you have a drinking problem. I did so I can understand that it can be hard to quit. You’re not a bad person, but you’re digging yourself a hole every time you’re drinking. Last time you were at the bar, you ran into baby daddy’s girlfriend’s parents. Now you’re driving hungover and have a DUI. It’s not going to look good if he tries to take full custody. If you need a sponsor to help you stay sober, reach out to me. I’ve been down that road and wish I wouldn’t have done the stupid stuff I did. I’ve embarrassed myself a handful of times so there’s no judgement here. We’re all human and make mistakes, but as a friend, try to stay sober. You have a lot going on and the last thing you need is a long list why they would say you’re unfit.
Yea the fact that the X is still working for her father tells me that the problem more than likely is the mommas fault. Stop drinking for good, is going out more important than your child? Grow up and put your child first. Don’t talk bad about your childs’ father in front of the child and quit causing all this drama. Let them have him when court ordered and leave them be! Plan things for your time and if your kid can’t attend an event because that’s dads’ time then don’t let the kid know you went simple.
You sounds horrible to deal with which is probably why new GF is pushing back. You are breaking the law ever chance you can. I feel sorry for this child. You more so are using LO as a weapon against the dad and GF. If it’s his weekend dont make plans. Doesn’t matter of family is here or not. Think and grow the fk up. Split holidays that common since. Ffs