How should I handle this situation with my best friend?

I have a kind of weird question. I have been friends with my best friend for about ten years. We met in middle school and have been glued to each other ever since. Last night, she told me something very odd, and I don’t know how to feel about it. She told me she had a sex dream about my husband. I know it is just a dream, but at the same time, now I am wondering if she is having these real thoughts and feelings for my husband. This may seem silly to everyone else, but I have a real fear now. Am I overreacting?

13 Likes

I would feel very unsettled with her dream absolutely but she cant control her dreams and I would 100% respect her for telling you. Of course I’m jealous but I wouldn’t act upon it unless you actually seen her looking at him differently or found out it’s more then just a dream.

Trust. Just breathe and let it go. If she’s your best friend y’all should be able to talk and over come anything. A woman always needs her best friend as well as her husband. Don’t read so much into it.

2 Likes

Any interest in becoming a trouple?

4 Likes

The fact that she was honest with you is a good sign, I have had many sex dreams but I’m not attracted to those people and would never act on it

4 Likes

First of all if she cared about your feelings she would have taken it to someone else or just kept it to herself… I would be horrified or suspicious of the person but maybe that’s just me.

Girl, I’ve had sex dreams about the most random people. People I had absolutely no interest in irl. Sometimes a dream is just a dream and has nothing to do with actual feelings. She told you about it, which to me means it’s pretty safe to think she isnt intending anything shady.

4 Likes

How did she react after she told you?? If she was like “ewww never” I wouldn’t be too concerned. If you trust her trust her, don’t think too much of it

1 Like

It took guts to tell you. That a friend. I wouldn’t read much into.

6 Likes

The fact she told you speaks volumes. We don’t control our dreams and can’t control who appears. Just because it was a sex dream doesn’t mean anything honestly. She could just appreciate certain qualities in your husband and that’s why he was the one in the dream. :woman_shrugging:t2: I wouldn’t be too bothered since she was honest.

6 Likes

That’s a hard one… I’ve had sex dreams about people I absolutely have zero attraction to… but its def a confession that would your mind wander a little…? Listen to your gut. It does not lie.

1 Like

Shoot, my friends have done this at one point. Only thing that matters is that they’re honest about it and don’t act on it.

2 Likes

I’ve had dreams like that about people I can’t even stand😫 If I was the friend I probably would have kept that to myself regardless because I wouldn’t want to make things awkward.

1 Like

Over reacting. Let it go. We all have weird dreams.

4 Likes

For you to even ask this question, something is off. IF you didn’t think anything of it you would have brushed it off but you didn’t.
Something is wrong.

Honey I have had plenty of sex dreams and with ones I would have NEVER thought sexy, attractive or what have you. It’s a dream…I would Google sex dreams.

2 Likes

No. You need to lay a barrier here. Flat out tell her what she said made you uncomfortable and was inappropriate and makes you question having her around him.

6 Likes

Oh hell no ! Back the fk up !

Ask her, she is ya mate of 10 years

3 Likes

Yes you are. Sex dreams mean nothing. I once had a sex dream about Ronald McDonald (actually it was more a nightmare since I’m terrified of clowns but that’s beside the point) does it mean i want to bone the big foot ginger? No. No it does not. It means our mind are weird sometimes and our dreams are even weirder.

4 Likes

Sex dreams often point to other aspects of our lives (other than sex). It took some real courage to tell you about it; I wouldn’t worry much.

2 Likes

A dream is a dream, you cant control them

She wouldn’t have told you about the dream if there was something going on. It was just a dream, I’ve dreamt about my ex, definitely doesn’t mean I want him!

I personally wouldn’t be worried. Dreams arent too much to look into. I have weird sex dreams all the time and my husband just tells me I’m weird

Depends on conversation leading up to confession. Maybe she feels guilty. Maybe she’s testing the waters to see if there’s any interest in an encounter involving 3. Maybe it was simply a dream and dreams rarely reflect anything to do with reality. I’d flat out ask her. If you don’t have an open conversation about it, it will rot the relationship from the inside out.

It’s just a dream I wouldn’t stress. The fact she told u aswell its obvs been on her mind bothering her!

no not overreacting & i don’t know how i’d feel with her even being comfortable telling me that , if it was me in your spot i’d kinda feel like she only told me so she could act on it because i haven’t ever felt anyway like that toward one of my friends hubby’s and if i did i’d damn sure never tell them!! i’m sorry you were put in this situation …

3 Likes

Just go with your gut feelings from my past experience I had a best friend unseperatable and she would say kinda they same things to me she had a dream of her and my man then another about her and him and it was really happening for real real truth here and now we have have sons a year apart of course no longer friends and I left him so be cautious

Not overreacting. Your friend should’ve kept that little tidbit of info to herself if she cared at all for your feelings (how you’d react). Some things are just better left unsaid.

And by her saying that she may be feeling you out for permission to “enter the relational” dynamic…i.e. open relationships, partner sharing, etc…

3 Likes

The fact she came to you and shared this says a lot about your friendship IMO. If she truly had feelings for your husband and didn’t care about throwing away your friendship why wouldn’t she have just kept it to herself and went after him behind your back?

I would tell her you don’t want to be friends anymore because of this.

Based on experience, be aware and careful.

2 Likes

At least it isn’t your sister… Though she’s younger thn I am and my husband is 9 yrs older then her. I constantly tell her he’s my man get your own. I trust my hubs 100% but I get you.

I’d set ground rules w her. She’s not allowed to have his number social media nothing.
And explain to your hubby on what’s going on.

Keep her at arms length. Dreams are based on deep subconscious feelings.

1 Like

I have really weird off the wall dreams sometimes that I know would never be real🤷‍♀️

To answer your question, yes.

1 Like

She shouldn’t have told you. Not everything has to be shared.

Idk i don’t think it mrans much if she had a dream that she shot him would you be afraid she would really fo it

1 Like

No not overreating. Speaking from experience
Do not speak of your r egg relationship ro her. Such what your husband likes ect.

Well dreams are from the subconscious mind and all your repressed thoughts and feelings are stored there so I’d keep my distance and not allow her to be alone with him in any matter or setting and to keep a close eye on her

2 Likes

Real friends don’t think like that weard

1 Like

Just have a threesome. It’ll be fun.

10 Likes

I don’t think you’re overreacting. I would feel the same.

5 Likes

:point_up_2::point_up_2:bad idea unless your into it … Sounds like she likes your man and thats on you if you want that or not

6 Likes

Have you asked her if she has real feelings for him

1 Like

I’d cut her off now because it’s in the works.

9 Likes

Dreams are dreams. They dont even mean that’s what you want irl. How many times have you had a dream and there were people in it that you hadn’t even seen since childhood? People cant control what they dream about. And she told you about it, which imo means she isnt planning anything shady.

6 Likes

Its just a dream, ppl cannot control what they do or dont dream about. The thing is she was honest with you and told you. Dont over react and ruin a good friendship

11 Likes

I feel like she shoulda kept it to herself if she doesn’t plan to act on it .

But I would be concerned too . I’d honestly start thinking she has feelings for him or she wants to make something happen between them. Id also address my husband and her to see why maybe she would feel that way. But all in all something seems up if she came and told you about it

7 Likes

Lol hell to the nah in every shape and or form. I have dreams from thoughts of things. Or things i see. Hell nah

1 Like

Tell her you dreamt that you murdered her. Then stop the friendship so you don’t actually end up doing it. That’s how I’d handle it🤷:joy::hocho: :skull:

11 Likes

To many ppl jump to conclusions and assume everyone wants to cheat on everyone. Not everyone is like that. Get a grip ppl

3 Likes

I’ve had some… Interesting dreams. Doesn’t mean I want to do reenact them in real life.

3 Likes

I think she was trying to see your reaction. Best discuss it with her and let her know how you feel

1 Like

I feel like your over reacting its just a dream and if i feel like if she was having real feelings she probably wouldn’t of told you about the dream

This whole thing boils down to trust. Do you trust that your friend is perplexed by the dream (which is why she probably told you imho)? Do you trust your husband to not be a cheating dog? If the answer to either of these questions is no you may need to reevaluate your relationships

8 Likes

Well she didn’t have to tell you. Perhaps subconsciously she thinks he’s a good man. We can’t control our dreams. She told you. Doubt it is or will be occurring

4 Likes

Eh, we all have weird dreams. I wouldn’t think anything of it unless you’ve noticed other things between her and your husband. But honestly, I don’t think she would have told you about the dream if there were feeling behind it.

5 Likes

Just talk to her🤷🏻‍♀️
I’d feel some type of way if my best friend said that to me but we’d talk about it. And if she truly does like ur husband she can fuck off before she gets fucked up​:woman_shrugging:t2::hocho:

You definitely can’t control what you dream. I’ve had some crazy dreams personally that were opposite of how I felt in real life. I wouldn’t have told you though, if I were her. That would have been kept to myself.

How does she act around your husband? I’d monitor her when she’s around him to see if she acts flirty at all.

1 Like

Nothing to worry about

If she thought about fucking your husband constantly, she would not tell you. She could also be trying to tell you something subliminally :woman_shrugging:t6:

1 Like

Telling you means she wants you to know. And I think she finds it weird. Maybe you just all close. Is she married or with someone

1 Like

What she dreams is completely out of her control and the fact that she trusts you enough to be open and honest about it says a lot about her faith and feelings to your guys relationship. I wouldn’t be bothered by it and would actually think it was funny if any of my friends said this. Of course who wouldn’t have wet dreams about my hunk of a hunk husband? :yum:

2 Likes

I have had a LOT of bizarre sex dreams in my day and at no point have any of them been based in any form of reality.

3 Likes

I dont think you are overreacting i think you’re just over thinking it x i think the fact that she told you means she trusts you will just see it for what it was…a dream x We all have weird dreams and some are so vivid it feels real x if their behaviour has changed then y all means confro t them but personally i wouldnt ruin a good friendship over a silly dream xx

Always take your dreams to heart, they’re talking to you. So be careful cause they always hold truth.

2 Likes

any chance yall had discussed sex recently or anything about you and yours husband? That could have been why. But in all seriousness, it’s likely nothing and no reason to worry. I mean she was comfortable telling you and that alone is a good thing. Do they spend time alone together? Does she flirt with him or him her? If not, then I wouldnt worry unless you had a legit reason to.

1 Like

I had a dream that I gave birth to a frog. Never happened in real life.
You should feel comforted that she was honest with you about it. She wants you to trust her. She brought it to your attention before anything came of it. I totally get why you’re uncomfortable about it but since she told you, you should feel like you can trust her even more.

2 Likes

What was her motive for telling you that information?

2 Likes

Is she trying to hint at something?

1 Like

Also if you need someone to vent to you can message me and we can talk more about it!

She trusted you with this dream. A dream. You cant control what you dream. It’s like saying everything you dreams something most of the time it doesnt. I would be weirded out about a sex dream of a friends husband. I’d bring it up to them because I would be freaked out.

3 Likes

No I don’t thaink u r

I would do research on dreams and meanings…

1 Like

I think if she had real feelings she would have kept the dream to herself. I image she thought it was funny

2 Likes

I’d have to see how she said it, did she seem embarrassed or proud? Was she remorseful or excited? Did she tell you in confidence like a what the hell is going on with me type deal or was it a hey dude I dreamt I slept with your man and it was great type thing? There are alot of different ways to view it, but you probably know her best to know how she said it. Yes it sucks no matter what but in all honesty she could be semi horrified with herself and looking to you for reassurance that it happens to everyone and you still love her and value your friendship. In all honesty I had a sexual dream about a friends boyfriend one night and it horrified me, I was scared to say shit but I told her and she knew it was weird as well because I had no feelings of any kind towards her man, 3 weeks later I found out I was pregnant doctor explained it was most likely my hormones just ragging about… only you know your friend well enough to decide how to take it, my answer is to let her know it made you uncomfortable and ask her if she has feelings about him like that? I can almost guarantee she feels weird about it too if not a little guilty

1 Like

Me personally it sounds weird but I wouldn’t think twice. Both my husband and BFF value their lives too much! Sooooooo yeah

6 Likes

I think you’re looking into this way too hard. If she were worried about you catching her she would’ve kept her mouth shut. I’m sure it was in a wtf type of way I’ve had some fucked up dreams myself. I wouldn’t lose any sleep over this

3 Likes

It was just a dream. As close as y’all are it was subconsciously supposed to be something else I’m sure. Here’s a quote from an article I read not that long ago…

“Pick the first three things that come to mind when you think of that person, then apply them to yourself or your situation” she said. So if you dream about having sex with your best friend or someonein your circle, , even if you aren’t at all sexually attracted to them, brainstorm the first three things you associate with that person, and then see if any of those qualities or traits would be beneficial to you if you incorporated them into your own life.

The theme you should be picking up on is that sex dreams are less about the people who appear in them and more about what those people represent in your current life situation. "

Just a dream sweetie

2 Likes

I have extremely active dreams at night. Detailed and very imaginative. At least twice I have had sex dreams with other people, and I was and am in NO WAY interested in them in real life.
I think it says a lot about your relationship that she opened up to you about it!

4 Likes

It’s just a dream! No one can control those. She trusted you enough and loved you enough to tell you about. I think if she actually secretly lusted after your husband, she wouldn’t have been open with you.

8 Likes

It’s just a dream, ive had sex dreams about alot of people, even unattractive guys i know. Do not take this to heart.

1 Like

Just a dream. Better than that, she trusts and loves you enough to tell you knowing you wouldn’t judge or ostracize her. Focus on that and be proud to have a best friend who is so open with you. :hugs:

2 Likes

If she liked him I’m anyway she wouldn’t have told you because she would be hiding it. I would tell her that it made you feel a little weird but she can’t control what she dreams about either

2 Likes

I mean, that’s a bold thing to tell you, but it was a dream… nothing more…

3 Likes

I read that sexual dreams are caused when you have a full bladder while you’re sleeping.
Also dreams are from thoughts or events that happened during that day.

Your best friend was confident enough to share her odd dream with you. It’s just a dream. If you’re having some doubts then you need to assess yourself.

1 Like

That’s like my husband being mad at me because he had a dream I cheated on him…
Probably Harmless

2 Likes

Also had a dream I did it with my bff she and I both laughed about it :joy:

It’s just a dream but if it’s bugging you then just talk to her, similar situation happened with me and my best friend and we talked about it and she reassured me nothing was going on or would ever go on with him

1 Like

I really don’t think you should worry about it a d she is being honest to her best friend I had a friend d who thought my husband had a great ass I didn’t worry and you should t either dream s don’t come true very often you could joke with her and ask her if she is waiting g for her drea to come true haha

If u can be upfront an honest with her id just. Come right and ask her. It sounds like u guys are pretty honest with each already with her telling u about the dream…id talk tk her about it

1 Like

Definitely not saying they did…BUT my EX had a dream the he slept with my “friend” and told me…turns out they were actually having sex…3 years of my life wasted. Thankfully I met my husband and we’ve been married for nearly 4 years and we have two beautiful kids together :heart:

Yeaaaah ur overacting.
You act like ppl can control what they dream of… obvisiously she thinks its silly thats why she told you. Are u upset bc she mind fucked ur husband? Seem stupid if you ask me. I think u sound very insecure.

1 Like

I think if she was having sex dreams about your husband and didn’t tell you that’d be a possible problem.

2 Likes

It’s just a dream. You can’t control what you dream about. :slightly_smiling_face:

1 Like

Just ask her :woman_shrugging:t3: if she felt confident enough to tell you about it then I’m sure she’d be honest. Not saying this is at all true but maybe she has some feelings for him and mentioned the dream to see how you’d react?

Is probably harmless, I think if she was feeling some type of way about your husband she would never feel comfortable to tell you. Dreams mean nothing, they are just a recollection of everything you go through in your day. I’m sure she sees your husband or has some interaction with him. I don’t think you should worry about it, unless she said something like it was hot or sexy or I liked the idea :joy::joy: