I feel like I didn’t need to read any further than, “They are still legally married,” to know what she should do…
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His divorce is your business. His baby mama and how they raise their kids is not.
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Call the health department on her job. No one that handles food is supposed to have any sort of color or artificial nails or nails longer than a certain length, even if gloves are being worn. You have to sit down with this man and challenge him to do what is right or you’re going to leave. You cannot stay in a relationship that is toxic just to save those kids, but you can get pulled down with all of them…
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He needs to divorce her already. And fight for FULL custody of his kids. Also, call and turn her in for cheating the welfare system. Get her cut off from it all. Plus, if they find her guilty of playing the system it will be easier for him to get custody of his kids and prove her an unfit mother.
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Never been in this situation but it seems to me that you should take a step back and let him handle his affairs and if he serious he will handle his affairs but stop making yourself available for someone he eats his pie and cake too
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He don’t want to divorce her if he did he should have done that before he got with you
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He ain’t gonna divorce her. Trust me. Same situation happened with me. Hes gonna get back with her after a really bad argument and BAM! Single.
You have lots of responses, so I’ll keep this short. Take a breath, and focus on what you are doing for the kids. It’s not about her and she deserves no space in your mind. Take care of the kids as if she weren’t there, and do your own family. It’s not worth the argument and stress. If the baby needs diapers, get them. If the kids need something, get it or do it. It’s about them, not her.
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He is MARRIED. She is not an ‘ex’ anything!
This dude wants to be married and have her raise his kids while having you as the side piece. He isnt ging to divorce her because then he would have to pay alimony and child support and his deadbeat ass wont do it.
He is feeding you all kind of lies about his wife so you pity him and put up with that bullshit. Hes not going to leave his wife because he is a coward.
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Why haven’t you or the father taught her anything in this past year?
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You sound jealous … you’re interfering in something that isn’t your business. Give the girl a break, left with a 2 & 5 year old at 24 years old and working. You know nothing about her struggle unless you’ve been in the same situation, which you aren’t. If you want advice … support your sisters in life and ditch sad ass men.
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I’m confused on the issue here. Is it that you have contempt over your boyf’s ex’s lifestyle, or that your boyf is still married to her.
Unfortunately their marital status has absolutely nothing to do with you and bear in mind your bf was married and had children with her and has only been with you a year it’s inappropriate for you to have an opinion on that matter. She is still the mother of his children.
Yes it pisses you off, you’re human, but you need to let it go before it causes issues with you and your bf.
Secondly, the other stuff isnt your battle either. If you love those children like you say you do, just be the BEST stepmum you can be and ignore the exes pleas for attention. She may be depressed that he has moved on being so young with so much on her plate.
Her shortcomings need to be his priority to make sure the children dont suffer. Which mean that they may be yours too if you see this as a long-term relationship.
I understand why you’re so urked by her, of course, but I think you need to prioritise and be honest about what you’re actually annoyed about, and let it go because it makes you sound bitter and it WILL cause problems in your relationship.
I cant help but wonder about the dynamic of you and your bf’s relationship.
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Does the boyfriend defend her spending habits? Does it upset him? It would make sence that if she were low on money or diapers and he had some that he lend some for a couple nights… Until she can get some. I mean either way the diapers are going on the same butt. It sounds to me that this is eventually going to lead to a huge argument with all the adults… some how it would offend the mother or upset the father and alrhough idk him personally he could just take off and leave and go back to her house… considering it has been a whole year and he hasn’t divorced her. He has his reasons on why he hasn’t done it yet. I would be more concerned on helping the kids learn their colors and sight words and stuff like that… and also what kind of future is in store for your relationship with your boyfriend and if he is actually ever going to divorce. Sounds like a tough situation but the relationship sounds more stressful than the mother. The kids need you just as much as they need their mom for when she isn’t there, and you need to find out what his priorities are.
Why are you bashing her and her parenting skills? Why hasn’t you bf taught her how to potty train right? Why hasn’t he taught her numbers and colors and etc? I think you need to take out issues out with him. You’re concentrating all the negatives about your situation onto her. When in reality your bf brought you into this situation. Like are you complaining about her or rather the fact that your bf hasn’t divorced her. My apologies if I’m a bit too blunt.
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Leave , quickly…, yesterday! He clearly has no respect for you and no back bone with her. This will be what you are settling for as long as you are with him 
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Why are you lost because of how another woman treats her kid??
Do you.
If you that worried about her, leave him and it’ll all go away. He ain’t worth it.
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Walk in the other direction. I say this for several reasons.
- If he hasnt divorced her he probably won’t. The first woman from a mans first family will always take priority over the next. Simple.
- Have u ever talked to this woman personally or are u going entirely on hearsay?
- If he will walk out on her with 2 children one of which only being a year old at the time. What makes u think he won’t do it to you?
- Do u have any children of ur own or are u again operating on nothing but hearsay?
- What another person does with her life and her children really aren’t any of ur business.
Also as far as all these people advising u to further destroy this womans life maybe u should just not. I understand ur in love, but married men should be OFF THE TABLE until they are ACTUALLY DIVORCED. This is why most men are scum. This is why most men are dogs. Because there are women to encourage their behavior. Smh. All fun and games until it happens to you.
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This is really NONE of your business as the girlfriend of a married man. If you refuse to see that, then you’re the dummy. Until there are court orders for support and visitation, everyone is just flying by the seat of their pants. Leave. This is not your problem and until he makes you his wife, you’re just a bystander 
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Deadlines…that is what is needed. Put your foot down and get him to commit and tell her no
If he wanted a divorce it would already be in the works. He’s holding off for something and until he realizes she’s not worth holding onto and you are then it’s just gonna hurt you in the long run. You need to take a couple days,get away and really think about if he’s worth holding onto. You may adore those kids with all your heart but that’s not worth your questioning if you mean enough to him to make a full commitment to you. I dont understand why men get a girlfriend while there still married no matter how long the couple have been separated. Now you have 2 woman that want something from you. A.K.A BIG DUMMY
If she’s “doing everything in her power to cheat the welfare system” … it would be better for her to be divorced so she didn’t have to claim his income. So in reality she isn’t.
Sounds like the mom needs to divorce her pos husband because he’s not helping with the kids and letting his side chick think she can get involved in a matter that doesn’t concern her at all.
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Everyone is on her about the nail comment but what about this bedroom set? Was it hers? For the kids? Regardless u are a gf not his wife. Tell him to get his shit together.
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Drop him like a hot potato. This drama will go on and on. Don’t judge his wife. You are the one involved with a married man. The best thing to do is walk away from this toxic situation. It is not healthy for you.
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Look at the big picture he’s married, so he’s attached to a family, which is his problem not yours. Be more concern for yourself and leave that family alone.
My husband’s ex-wife made it hard for a divorce to go smoothly. She moved to another state, and so because of some chaos she instigated, it took my husband over 2 years to finally finish divorce proceedings and custody of a child. My advice: 1) teach the kids daily living skills; 2) if you love your bf and KNOW he truly wants the divorce, help find lawyers that will work on payment plans, at the least; 3) keep a record of expenses you provide for the kids at your house And a record of what you send with the kids when birth mom picks them up and condition of clothing upon their return to you two.
As a bonus mom, you have very little that you can legally get away with dealing with birth mom as she could still claim legally married to your bf. If your uncomfortable doing any of this, it’s probably best that you see if any of his family can provide the childcare when daddy is working and you leave the situation completely. Don’t disrespect yourself or continue to allow the mental and emotional abuse (that it sounds like is taking place) to continue any longer.
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Um… they are married lmfao. Leave them alone
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Run from this situation…it’s bad
Divorces are free, depending on money situation, of course.
My ex and I didn’t agree, had 3 kids and property. It only took 6 months.
Leave that married man alone and let him deal with his own life.
You need to tell your boyfriend to start moving on a divorce and set up child support payments. He 8s going to have to give child support payments so you should get used to that. You should also focus on the kids and not on the mother. You cannot change her.
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Some kids dont like wiping themselves. Your boyfriend is the one who loved and married this horrible woman, …
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You might can out your two cents in with the boyfriend but otherwise you keep doing what’s right for the kids. But truthfully if he was going to get a divorce he would have done it already. You might be running in circles there.
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Run away fast. You cannot control the actions of the biological mother. Her kids her choice. Work around it or leave
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My ex (and bd) was married to a woman before I can around… stayed married to her and never got the divorce I even gave him money to get… we had two kids and spent 4 years together and now, almost 2 years later he’s STILL married to her and ruined his last relationship by lying to that woman too, about being married.
These men are a mess… He never admitted it, but he just wouldn’t get divorced because he thought that meant he had to jump into marriage with me. I can say from my experience, he’s probably using you as a placeholder and you’ll not ever get what you truly need from a man like that.
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Does yuh our boyfriend make more money then the kids mom? It is his place to provide diapers also. There is nothing wrong with her spending some money on herself. The kid may know how to wipe herself and just doesn’t like to so when she is around you she asks you to do it.
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My advice is not to get into a relationship with a married man
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You only been with him a year, get out now. They are still married
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She is 24 with 2 kids, seperated and working at KFC. Please leave her alone, she is struggling and doing the best she can and if a bitxh wanna get her nails done to feel good about herself with all she has going on then so be it. How do you know she don’t have money amd just asked her husband for diapers because he ain’t doing right? You need to back the hell up and get out of their relationship. It’s only been a year
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My best advice is to just talk to him, not run as fast you can 
. As far as the kids, it’s frustrating but just keep supporting and trying to encourage them to learn and grow. Step in and try to teach them yourself. Separate yourself from her and focus your boyfriend and kids.
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Drop tht loser hes with you because he got tired of her shit but hes not helping the situation hes not gonna Divorce her thts child support smh leave n dont look back
It’s not abnormal for a child her age to be unable to wipe alone. Isn’t having someone else wipe her the better thing to do to make sure she gets good and clean? And whether she is putting her money in the right places or not, if the kid needs diapers, they need diapers. Saying no will ultimately cause more issues for the child than it does her.
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These are ALL situations that HE needs to address not you
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You know, I started typing a long ass response, but really there is no clear cut answer to a dynamic that has sooo many different variables.
But what I do know is if you truly love his kids as your own, then just do for them. In every way possible, do for them.
If she’s 5, has 3 parental figures, and STILL is falling behind where you think she should be then newsflash… All 3 parental figures are failing her. Cut the crap and get together as a team and figure out a plan to get her on track. She’s 5. It’s the parents (or parental figures) job to assure she’s taken care of and where she needs to be in life. It’s not about who does what or who buys what… as long as you’re all working together to assure she’s taken care of… Which by reading this I’m assuming you all aren’t. If communication is something that’s lacking between you 3 adults then work on that. Once you all can communicate without the drama then things should get easier. If you can’t communicate & agree to work together for the sake of the child under any circumstances then it’s not going to work.
Also, if it bothers you so much that he’s not divorced yet & you want to have a life with him. TELL HIM. Give him an ultimatum & let that be that. If he isn’t ready to start a serious relationship with you after a year then at this point it’s seaming you’re opinion will be irrelevant to both him and the kids mom in which case you’ll be outnumbered in every situation regarding the kid which is extremely unhealthy. The kids mom probably hasn’t reached a level of respect for you because clearly he doesn’t even respect you. He’s still married to her. If that’s the case then maybe you shouldn’t involve yourself in the situation any longer.
This post still triggers me man so many of yall agreen with this gurl sayn the wife is unfit for getting her nails done then asking for diapers. For one no where in the post does it say she bought those diapers … most likely the dad did…and for second we only know what the post says man …i want to assume u the suppose girlfriend dont have no kids of ur own because ur so fucking judgemental about the mom priorities . .u dont know what a person goes tru maybe she got her nails done that dam one time over diapers …so shes a bad parent get d eef out …we dont know what hes telling her . He probably sayd …go ahed get ur nails i have extra diapers at home for all we know …guys lie …specially if hes married to her …man yall so dam judgy. Sometimes a mom needs something to feel good …n if thats what she needed to keep herself together good for her …also making 11 dollars is okay …a job is better than no job n if u where a good person u wld not be laughing or makingnit seem that it aint fit for a parent to make that money …worry about why u with a married man …seems to mee u have more flaws n issues than her …get with the girl talk to her yall might be able to help eachothernout who knows …think before u take someones kids … i sayd what i sayd …nxt post …lol