Make sure you document this along with any texts you have. He’s disappointing your son, being irresponsible & violating a court order. Keep the receipt for the stick & the new skates you’ll end up buying or renting as well as gas, loss of work & other expenses he’s forcing you to take on. Take him to court & request reimbursement.
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I don’t think everyone is understanding the post. As a hockey mom I know equipment is very expensive. I wouldn’t be able to have a set for both homes.
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You have every right to be upset and I would talk to him I’m sure again about making sure he has what he needs if it’s as his house if he’s not going to be there. But I would still try to maintain the friendly relationship with him. Because you are still going to have to deal with him and I’m sure it will be easier for everyone even your son in the long run if your all “get along”.
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To the author of this post: Get an equipment bag. If your son is old enough to play he’s old enough to be responsible for having his equipment with him and ready to go for EVERY game. My 2 granddaughters did this for competitive cheer AND they were responsible for having clean uniforms (all the pieces) all hung together in their own bag. So each girl had their own equipment backpack and uniform bag. If they left something out it was up to them to find someone to borrow the item from. If it was a one-time use item they had to buy the replacement out of their own pocket and give it back to who they borrowed it from. It’s about teaching your kid responsibility not his parent.
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Same thing has happened here except baseball stuff. And so I just dont let their stuff go their anymore. He says he wants to practice with them but that rarely happens and when/if it does he can just go buy his own stuff for his house. And filling his head with things, you can do nothing about except to remind him to not hold his breath when it comes to what his dad says hes going to do.
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The momma bear in you is coming out and that’s okay. You feel badly for your son and rightly so. Make sure you have his hockey equipment and he’ll always be able to participate.
I get it. A bunch of little things that build up into one giant snowball. My life could be made into a Lifetime Movie, I swear!
My kids have access to get into each of our houses. For a just incase situation. I also agree that all his hockey stuff should be together and at whichever house he is at, incase something like this happens.
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Why can’t your son get into his dads house??
I wouldn’t/couldn’t be friends with someone who treated my child this way.
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From now on, give him a bag and tell him to leave it at the best place you can think of. It’s his gear.I do see why you are upset with his dad tho.
Stop ignoring his Bad Behavior
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You kid is old enough to be accountable for his own stuff. He should have a hockey bag for everything. Stuff happens. Rent some skates and be happy he has a dad who does provide for him.
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Well I think as a parent you can also make sure he has all his equipment how did you know he didn’t have his stick at that point check make sure he had everything or ask when he got home do you have this this and this he’s a kid you guys are the”adults”
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Guess I’m the only one that thinks that kids are just that , kids … yes they should take responsibility for their own things … but it’s also ok for them to have reminders as well , no one is perfect and children are bound to forget things
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Why doesn’t your son keep his gear at home where it belongs? His stick is in the car, his skates are at the house, why scattered all over and why is that the ex’s fault?
If he’s truly stranded, this isn’t a broken promise, it’s an unplanned problem. If his vehicle broke down, better it be while his Dad is alone than on that away trip.
How about reassuring your son that his father loves him. Remind him of all the things his Dad doesn’t fail to do. Remind him that sometimes finances take a hit that make it necessary to postpone a promised trip.
Stop dwelling on the little things. Try making things better instead of piling on.
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It sounds like this has a lot more to do with how your son is feeling about his dad than hockey and sticks and skates. Maybe have a sit down, the three of you together, so that your son can express his feelings to his dad. If dad sees the effect his actions or inactions are having, he might be willing to re-focus his energy a bit more.
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No, I don’t think you’re silly for the way you feel. When somebody hurts your child it’s a natural reaction to feel hurt yourself. If he made a commitment to be this child’s dad, he needs to do at 100%.
The wAy I look at it you don’t promise what you can’t give I would sit down and have a friendly chat with dad x
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You are not with him for a reason. You are not the idiot whisperer…
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No your not wrong he a dead beat just he sees him. If he not there for him that way then still dead beat. I have your son tell him that him self sometime it sinks in more coming straight from your child than from someone else. And if he doesn’t change after that then he doesn’t really care that much
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Your son is right, his dad needs to grow up
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He’s narcissistic. You need to tell him to stop making promises he isn’t going to live up to, my ex did the same to my son and I, promised us we would have a family day at wet n wild but last minute when we where both ready waiting he decides to say no because he wanted to sleep my son broke out in tears he was only 4 at the time, I don’t trust him with anything
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He definitely needs to be more organized with his child’s stuff. You need to flat out tell him, don’t make promises you can’t keep. When I plan something for my daughter I won’t tell her until the day of because of something falls through, I don’t want to deal with her disappointment. Makes me sad!
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Sounds like he’s taking advantage of your kindness.
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Omg I have a very similar situation with my daughters dad! He is completely unreliable and has always been. He continues to break her heart and then tries to buy her off with gifts. He puts everyone in front of her. She had to wait for 3 weeks for him to fix her school computer as promised just because he kept forgetting about it. She is an only child mind you and has doesn’t need to worry about the cost. I just want to tell him what I think but dont want to make things worse. It’s hard when their hearts break in front of your eyes. 
I’m sure you and your husband make him feel valued though. Sending hugs 
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For situations like this I would definitely have extra skates and an extra stick at both houses just in case, it might also help your son keep track of everything and not panic at the last minute. I would also tell the dad that he needs to stop filling his child’s head with empty promises, I’ve had to watch this with my nephew from age 5 to now age 15 because his dad(my brother) does this cause he’s an addict and at one point after my dad died my brother did something that pissed me off in regard to my nephew and i cornered my brother in the laundry mat and swung on him he ducked but I have never once tried to fight my siblings til that day cause I got tired of seeing my nephew heart broken. I would definitely have a sit down with the dad without the kids around and a good long talk about it all.
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I would have your son call his dad and let his dad know how he feels. His dad needs to hear it for himself. Coming from you his dad may not take it seriously.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How should I handle this situation with my sons dad? - Mamas Uncut
Well aren’t you glad you didn’t marry him! Continue to act like you have been doing , you are showing your son how to be gracious. He has two examples of fatherhood . He will be a better father himself one day. Remember it’s all about him seeing you handling things correctly. You can’t protect him from his father’s hurtful action. Your doing a good job mom and step dad
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Just keep assuring your son you are always there for him and will always be. I feel for you as my son went through the same thing as your son. He wouldn’t attend first day at achool drop offs or prize giving ceremonies or anything where my son wanted him to. I just kept telling my son that in the end he will need him not vice versa.
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I’m with your son, his Dad needs to grow up. Sounds very self-centered/selfish. My first born child also had a different father and very similar situation with my current husband basically adopting her as his own. However, her father wasn’t ever really involved. It was very hard on her but in some ways, his absence was better than him being inconsistent in her life.
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Mom look if he was a good dad he wouldn’t be the ex. So explain to your son his dad has failings that why God sent him a step up dad. Be honest, don’t let your son always be disappointed. Have no expatriations that way he won’t be let down.
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Ok not to make light of his dad or soon to be step mom but things like being stranded does happen. The soon to be step mom is free to do what she wishes she’s not the one who has to deal with your sons stuff yet as much as that might suck. If there’s va issue with his hickey stuff have him cart it back and fourth so theres no issue. As for the empty promises that does suck. I hope you guys can figure this all out
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This rings home to me. My daughters dad was 16 when I married him. I was 16 pregnant and we were only married 18 months. He loved my daughter and lived with him thru high school. I did and bought almost everything for her. Took her to his house which was way int the middle of nowhere. Him and her stepmother did come to our house for bday parties and other events. He was supposed to pay $100 a month child support. If he paid it. I never fought it. We did not always get along but I can say it worked out and it was ok. I say this to say earlier today my daughter called me and said he passed away from covid. I am thankful we worked together as her parents no matter what we both loved her and did the best we could. In thankful for that.
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You should bring him and her to an Table and talk about these issues . Let them know that Coparenting doesnt work that way . Let them both know what their behavior does to your son
Your son needs to write down what he wants to tell his dad and read it to him. It has to be his words his writing. Give it a day or 2 and then bring it up with dad no confrontational. Just a “hey in the future can we make sure he has all his gear especially if yall are going out of town” or "can we get a spare set of gear to leave here for cases like this in the future "
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I Believe Since you Know What Each Is Capable of, Forget What is Written in a Paper or in the Wind. His Paternal Father appears to Be Not Real Interested. Your Son Lives With You. You Should Have MADE Sure that He Had His Skates & Sticks , Helmut all His Things He Needs to Participate In His Hobbies. They Aren’t Ever Going To Feel the Way You & Your Son Feel. He is Or Was More or Less a Sperm Donor. You Should Have Went Right Out & Bought The Skates Good New Ones & Hockey Sticks etc. & Billed Your X. & Had a Paper Sent To The Judge If He Doesn’t Reimburse You Fr. The Items. !!! Wasting Time Feeling Bad Over Their Incompetence. Gets you Nowhere.
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Remind ex that he cannot make promises he cannot keep. You need to write up a list of everything your son needs to participate in his sporting events. He needs to be responsible to see that your son has everything he needs before the ex goes out galavanting
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Trust me, the child will never forget! Keep being supportive of him as you are all he has!
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Your feelings are valid , that’s why he’s your ex. Tell your son to learn from this so oneday he won’t repeat these mistakes and then drop it. I know from experience they’ll figure it out when they’re grown.
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It’s heartbreaking to see a Dad be so selfish. Unfortunately he’s not the first nor the last. My sister went through that with her ex and like you she had a great husband who was an amazing father figure and incredibly generous. As her kids got older they figured out that their Dad was a father in name only and totally appreciated their step-Dad. It’s torture when the kids are young watching hopes dashed over and over by sheer selfishness.
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Just the fact the a kids activity is in the decree is petty enough. This was a two party mishap. If you both knew the child had a game coming up you both should of had a checklist of everything he needs
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I think it’s really helpful with children to teach them to seperate judgement of behaviour from judgement of the person. You don’t have to like a persons behaviour. It’s ok to say it’s not ok, That it’s hurt you. You can still love your dad even if you don’t always like his behaviour.
If your child’s father has some good qualities it’s also really good to highlight those when you see them and when you see them in your son. It might be a good sense of humour, spontaneity etc. Simply because children don’t see their parents as people seperate from themselves. Your sons father is a part of him and he is a part of his father. It’s a subconscious symbiotic connection.
So whatever your sons father does or does not do, he’s wonderful because he’s part of your son. It’s the behaviour that can be rejected and not liked never the person.
Just let him know his dad still loves him but your son will get to the point where he won’t want to go to dads and his promises will just by empty promises and another bunch of crap dad says. As your son gets older you guys, friends and sports will take up his time and your son will build up walls due to all his dad has said and done. Now looks like his hockey equipment and gear he will have to start keeping track of it and despite dad being the one who is supposed to take him and usually has the stuff in his vehicle looks like dad can’t be trusted with his hockey stuff now. At 9 my boys started taking care of their own football gear, but with 2 boys in football and a daughter doing cheerleading and gymnastics and their times crossed them keeping track of their stuff made it easier on me. Dad does need to grow up and stop making promises he won’t keep.
My son is 18 and it never ends. If he does this now…he will always do it. It doesn’t get easier because the kid gets older, but your son will realize who is there for him and who isn’t.
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I to married young had two great girls Dad not in the picture his choice I tried he remained had two other kids forgot he had two others but we managed he’s passed on now no one thought to let his first daughters know till much later
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I have lived your story. I decided when my daughter was younger to help her to understand some people will only do so much. You cannot depend on those people. You surround yourself with people you can depend on. I also told myself I take sole responsibility and a single mom, to make sure I am available to take my child where she needs to go. I choose that as my responsibility. If not me then someone I arranged. I wasn’t going to let someone irresponsible and narcissistic interfere with my child’s life. It is fantastic he pays for hockey. A blessing for your son, but his father is too old to grow up. My daughter grew up to understand what kind of man her father was and can now make her own choices. I just personally knew that I would need to make great sacrifices with my time to raise her. So you are not at all silly for feeling the way you do. Now you have to help your son navigate who is father is.
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I’m sure these are all the reasons why you are not still married to your sons father. It’s hard to see your son be repeatedly disappointed. Despite the court order, be prepared to support your son’s hockey interest, whenever his dad flakes out, including equipment. Keep track of every incident and the cost to you. If he continues to be irresponsible, go to court and have the child support increased to cover the fact that he doesn’t meet his obligation on this issue.
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Do your best to keep things as agreeable as possible. You are aware there will be issues; when one hits, say “here it is, how can I make this better so I’m not sucked into anger and make this worse?”
Um, that’s really hard to do! However, your son is watching and trust me, he is watching and learning about good parenting from you.
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Just always do right by your son, I know it sucks that you have to pick up this dad’s short comings but trust me your son will know who was there for him. Kids always come first in a broken home because honestly they pay the the biggest price. Always remember you two divorced each other, your kids still love you both. They didn’t divorce you two. So yes your doing the right things! 
No, your not wrong to feel the frustration and continuing inconsistency. Obviously, not a major priority for Dad. Best to maintain a friendship and cohesive parenting relationship with your son’s bio dad. He is old enough to see and feel the same frustration and disappointment.
Show your son you can rise above the situation and support him all the way even without dad’s emotional or financial support. Privately, you could mention to him that his inconsistency is fustrating, but your priorities are with your son.
As your son sees his inconsistency and lukewarm involvement, he will decide for himself his relationship with Dad. His respect and admiration for the example you displayed without negative or bashing comments set a standard he can follow and thank you for.
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Your son is old enough to know that he needs these things when the time comes, its dads responsibility to double check. I’m in the same boat with my daughter dad in gymnastics. Empty promises are wrong on his part. Again, same situation. But as far a hockey goes, your son should has some responsibility in leaving his things there when he knows something is coming up.
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I agree a conversation should be had with the adults but this is also a teaching moment for your son. He wants to play hockey he should also make sure he brings everything back and forth to each house. Not ideal I know.
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These are separate issues. I would address the hockey issue with the approach of separate homes so two sets of equipment and that eliminates any unexpected costs and confusion.
As for empty promises, if your son has the maturity level at 9 yrs of age to explain how he feels about his father and his apparent broken promises, then just
the 3 of you need to sit down and listen to him without accusing or being defensive. Be the adults in the room. Once your son explains openly how his fathers no shows leave him feeling them it is up to his father to change his behavior. Children are far more intelligent than many give credit
for being. It is never OK to bad mouth another parent even if they are an absolute pos. Believe that children will figure this out on their own and generally at an earlier age than most realize.
Just my thoughts.
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First off the dad should always make sure his kids needs are met even if he has to make special trips to deliver everything to the child also if the dad went to Disney he should have taken his son that was rude and irresponsible of the dad. Sounds like he would rather please his new girl than his kids if your child is already saint his dad needs to grow up then I think he will cook his goose with the child. When the dad does be ready to catch him Who knows maybe your son will say enough is enough and not want to visit his dad anymore
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My daughter beliinda when she was 14 couldn’t take her alcoholic father’s empty promises and neglect any longer she got into with him on the phone and told him you are nothing but a alcoholic drunk who only cares about where his next drink is coming from she never talked to him again she is now 37 and has 2 kids to this day he has no idea where she lives and she sees him very little this is her choice I did my best to stay out of it I felt that this was between her and him. Her stepdad more than made up for what her real dad didn’t care about.
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My brother was never there for his sons. Said he would come/do things. They sat by the window waiting. Till they outgrew it. Now his sons are adults, live in other states and have nothing to do with him. He doesn’t lnow his grandchildren. Very sad. But you and your husband are doing it right. Your son will figure it out with your loving guidance. Good luck.
As much as you hate seeing all the broken promises your ex is dishing your son, I’d hate to imagine that in the future your son will resent you for any of it. Take it from his perspective and try and avoid feeding him any information. It sounds like he’s a smart kid and he’s already figured out reasons for the disappointments. Allow him to draw those conclusions on his own. Just continue to guide him but always without the added murmur of loathing info into his ear as surely the backlash will haunt you in future. All the best
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If its “wrote up that way” he should be held accountable. If you are not going to do that, you are going to be picking up the slack, making excuses and be irritated and annoyed.
Both my sons played hockey from kindergarten to seniors in high school. It’s simple. Don’t be upset with anyone but yourself. Your son should be responsible for his gear. We made it simple. Before leaving for every yes every game, and they often were often indifferent teams playing at different rinks, they had to build a hockey player laying out their gear on the floor. It was easy to see if something was missing.
I think it’s time to go back to court to have this settled legally. If you don’t stop all of these empty promises to your son, you will have one dejected screwed up kid. Make all your kids one family. Your ex will straighten up or not. If not, no reason to hAve a connection with the boy.
Oh mom, don’t worry about about being besties with your ex. You have 3 kids to take care of and you only have one chance to do it right.
Your son has legit feelings of his own. Perhaps, with guidance from you he can share his feelings with his dad. It seems he’s ok expressing his feelings to you about how he feels about his dad. If he shares his feelings about his dad the soon to be step mom should be present. She needs to her it from the son.
Hopefully, the dad will hear how his behavior has hurt his son.
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Youe ex shouldn’t tell your son all these things if he isn’t going to do them. Maybe you could talk to him and tell him how you feel about it. It sounds like you get along good. The more you and he get along the better it will be for your son.
I dealt with that but I just did my part and let my son handle what he wanted to do with his dad. Always making promises never keeping them. But if he needed anything he never went to his dad I always had his back and he never forgot that
You and your husband are doing an awesome parenting job.
You have not mentioned anything about child support??? If he doesn’t pay, it is time for him to start. If he pays maybe you need to re-think the amount. It would compensate for your out of pocket incidentals.
Your son is old enough for you to sit him down and help your son to understand that his dad loves him but some people just don’t understand how to parent their children. Your son needs you to help him change his relationship with his dad. Don’t stand back, step forward and let your son know you have his back if he wants to tell his dad to grow up.
Take him back to cort and make him pay for what he is sopos too keep all propf of what you spent. And logs of all the times he has broken his promes to the child all so leat the child tail his farther in cort in frunt of the Juge
How he feals about what his dad does. You schould not say a word to the dad just let the cort searve pappers
For him to be there when he comes saying why just refear him to your lawer.
That is what i did
And the juge up the child saport
And made him pay me cash money for what i had spent on things. If he pays cash he cant put it down on taxes when time to fail.
The beginning of your story and the end tell 2 very different tales. Which is it? Are you great friends with his dad and fiance or is he constantly letting your son down and dumping on you?
I’d give them the bill to replace skates and stick. Unfortunately ur son will learnthe hard way when he realises the let down he’s dad is just be there for him all u can do
I am with you totally on this. He is letting his son down every time and it Looks like it has happened plenty.
My son played hockey from time time he was 5 yrs old through college. Very expensive sport and very time consuming. He was a goalie and still plays. It is very important that his father is there to bring him and share this time together. It is a big commitment but we’ll worth the time for your son. As parents we do what we need to do for our children but sounds like his dad is not concerned with his sons feelings. Good luck
Your son knows his father is unreliable, does not keep his word. You can not change the dad. Just be sure he pays his $$ ordered by court
Don’t make him spend time with the bio dad he is not acting like a loving father don’t let him keep hurting your son
give him the bill for the skates and stick, that being said your son is 9. give him a check list every time he comes to your house what he should bring, for what ever activity and he can be responsible it is time.
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I use to buy sleeping bags so the kids did not have to bring theirs. You have the stick if you buy the skates leave them at you house,problem solved. No need to be frustrated. Prayers for all concerned.
Im sorry your son is goin through this .I have a grown son who also has just become a father my son waited till he was 32 because he said he was to selfish to be a father before the age of 32 he learned from his father what a bad father was and now my son is an amazing father he had a dad who broke promises, who bought stuff for him then took it back to the store who was almost never there I hated him for hurting my boy like that but I never put him down I just tried my best to make up for his short comings I learned to put my feelings aside and put my boy first always oh its hard not to wanna lose it but my son was most important and I wanted a healthy productive member of society .plus I wanted my son happy so I never let the problems of the father become my sons problems and some fathers do wake up eventually my son and his father have a good relationship now and that makes my son happy and still that is all I ever wanted my son knows that I was always there for him but im happy that I never said bad things cause now they have a father son relationship and I know thats all my son wanted and now he has the father he shudda had a long time ago and I should mention he is an amazing Grampa loves our grandson so maybe your sons father might see the problems and change just keep your sons happiness in mind all the time whats best for you son and you can’t go wrong good luck your son will grow and learn from this and be a better man then his father I know cause my son is …
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Breathe and take it one day at a time. I just took a deep breath for you.
This rings so true…
As my kids are grown now and we are past all this… It is so importamt for your children to see you handling it as good as you are… As you said your son sees what is going on… So his father is messing up!!!
As someone else mentioned the equipment should always be with your son.
All this being said you could talk to your ex and let him know that his son is disappointed or even mediate a conversation between your son and his dad…
My own father broke promises while i was growing up and chose the new family over us on many occasions. A conversation never happened and things kept getting worse. One example is my father did not walk me down the aisle at my wedding…nor did my brother…my grandfather did!!!
A conversation should take place it will help your son with relationship communication in the future!
Keep up your unconditional love mom!!! It means the world!
If I were you I would just say, to heck with all of y’all and since y’all can’t have enough responsibility to get this kid where he needs to be, then I am taking over, that way I will know he will have what he needs and will be on time.
First off, I will admit that this would drive me up the wall. However, I would ask myself whether this issue is important enough to rock what sounds like a pretty amicable situation. If I were you, I would just tell your son that you are sorry that things occurred the way they did. But I would not fix it for your ex, even if it causes some discomfort for your son. And then when your son complains to you, have him call his father. This will make your ex have to be either accountable or responsible. I would approach it the same way with broken promises.
You son needs to make sure he has all his equipment at the end of the games and that it is going home with him in his duffle. If he is on a travel team, he needs to be responsible for his equipment, with your help. Not his fault but since his dad is flighty, you needs to step up and help him make sure he had the tools to be successful. Hopefully this is a one time thing but doubt it will be.
Buy a hockey bag, have your son pack and make sure his hockey bag has what he needs in it at all times. You can’t control what others do and l know it’s a pain in the but ! Now’s the time to teach your son to be responsible for his things because well dad can’t. This will stop the stress altogether when your household have got it downpacked organised.
You started your little take here than all of you are really good friends and then you list all the things his Dad and soon to be step mother have done that are/seem thoughtless so which is it are you all good friends or are the thoughtless selfish people who hurt your son.
If he doesn’t hold his side I’d deal take him back to court. If you don’t he will keep pulling out on deal. He will hurt your son over and over!! Stop it now or you will sorry. You just can’t help your son if he keeps doing this!
Since I somewhat get along does he live near you does he have someone he leaves an emergency key with can he have that person go in and get skates
Sorry, but At 9 yo your son is old enough to know he needs his equipment for games and practices. He is the one who should make sure he either has it with him m, or is able to retrieve it in an emergency. Blaming others “bailing him out” is not teaching him responsibility.
No you are not overreacting! Your ex should understand like you do that your son must always come 1st, it was irresponsible of him to not drop off ALL of his hockey equipment before left town.
Why doesn’t your son keep his equipment with him? That is how you take care of your things.
Write the novel. It would probably be a bestseller as many have experienced this.
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You have to tell him he has to pay for new skates and stick that way can have some there and at your house if he can’t be responsible
Depending on the age of their son, she can intervene on his father’s approach by reminding her son to prepare in advance and have all of his things together.
While this is annoying, it’s not worth losing sleep over it. Her son will have future disappointments in life… potentially a lot of them. Looking at the positive is healthy for him. While his Dad may be a bit of a chore in his ability to keep promises, he does appear to want and actually have a relationship with his son. A LOT of children can’t say that. No need to mention the amount of child support dollars that go unpaid every year in this country.
I don’t know enough of the story, but, could the pandemic be part of the reason he can’t take him to Disney World this year? While I must admit I think it’s rather shocking that a father would have planned and executed a trip like that without his child.
While I know it’s customary to bash the ex and expect the child to pick a side (even if it’s not explicitly stated), the idea that a “child will find out the truth about him” should be shunned whenever possible.
My own children seemed to get into this mindset that their father (my ex-husband) were going to get back together. Whenever we would all be together, they would get this extra bounce in their step and the excitement in their little faces and in their voices was more than I could bear. My son, when he was younger (he’s the baby) would hold my hand and than hold his father’s hand simultaneously as we were out and about. His heart would be bursting at the seams and it was obvious. Later, he would say, “You held Daddy’s hand today. You held his hand through me.” Tore me to pieces.
Sadly, the truth about why we broke up…and would NEVER get back together…had to be said. (The child appropriate version…plus the things they already knew about). But, they still hold out hope. Even now. After nearly a decade of being divorced, they had to go live with their father after I had a horrific rollover car accident. They are all in high school. They still hope. Especially now.
My point? We are each 50% of who our children are. Why destroy half of who they are because the marital relationship didn’t work out?
Plus, our kids will come across other difficult people in life. This may be a teaching moment. Admittedly, I know I have missed many. At one point, I worked a little to hard to keep their father in a positive light simply because he is their father. I firmly believe that if abuse isn’t an issue, my job as their mother is to raise children that honor and respect BOTH parents. Hopefully, they will take what they learned at home and exhibit that with others.
Definitely hopeful and praying about your situation. Watching your child lament the situation is more than you can bear, I’m sure. It would be for me. God bless!!
Get child support and don’t leave anything up to anyone else’s hands
Boy … keep your hockey 
together!!!
That was my daughter with her soccer gear. 
Now that’ that’s outta the way… Dad is thoughtless irresponsible and simply not bothered by what he’s doing. SMH I couldn’t be cool after time and time again with that nonsense. Good luck.
How old is the child? Maybe it’s time he knows if he has games to keep what he needs together himself. Maybe this will be a lesson learned the hard way. The soon to be step mom well she’s not a step mom yet not her job to keep up with such things. It shocks me how children are lied to and used as pawns between so called Adult’s. I really don’t think 10 years from now this young man will look back and think oh yes daddy and mom let me down in 2021 about some out of town hockey game.
So sorry this is happening please remember that this your sons dad and will always be.
Was your son leaving from your house? If so then prior to coming to your home what a few day before the event, your son should have made sure he had everything with him at your house before the day of the game. Things happen. Did your son not mention that his skates were at the fathers when he was picked up by you? That way you could have detoured by the house. Maybe its just me.
Let go
Be the best Mom you can. Your child will suffer with this tug of war. Keep your heart and arms open for your child. Let go
I think your story is too common and too sad.
Unfortunately I feel it’s your son’s responsibility to make sure he has his hockey gear with him at all times, especially if he knows he has game or practice coming up. Have his dad buy him another set of whatever he uses and have at both houses. As far as the broken promises it’s just too bad that your ex does not care enough and is essentially a hobby father. All you can do is continue being a great mom and talk to your kid through each letdown. Good luck and sorry you married a schmuck once upon a time and he turned out to be the bio father.
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Do what you feel is right and just keep onh