We are a house of 11. 6 adults 1 teenager and 4 babes/toddlers. Had to move my fam in with my parents a while back because we were under a slumlord that wouldnt fix anything (ceiling fell in one room) and it was just unlivable and money was tight thanks to the pandemic but we dealt with it for as long as possible everything was fine when it was just us and my parents well fast forward to now my sister her dude and their 2 kids move in as well and theres always a mess to clean up I clean up after me and mines yet I get looked at as if I’m suppose to be EVERYONES personal maid all of a sudden and want to threaten with move out dates what would you do how do you handle this situation without becoming everyones personal b****?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How should I handle this situation? - Mamas Uncut
You need to move!! Way to many people in 1 house
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Oh he** no everyone would be responsible for their own messes continue cleaning up after you and yours and they’ll get sick of looking at it
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In my experience…if I’ve done my chores I go into the washroom and pretend to shower or go in the bedroom and pretend to take a nap
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Nothing u can do…u either do what they want or they threaten to kick u out or something else shitty…and even if u do do it it won’t be appreciated and it will be overlooked as if it’s no big deal… living with family is hard especially if they are toxic it’s their way or no way
My grandmother did the same exact thing to me. She needed me for everything and I was there for everything she needed. I got shit on while the rest of my bum family was on pedestals. I moved out and across country with my stimulus. Best decision I ever could make for myself and kids. She calls everyday wanting to know where I’m at or what I’m doing. She is blocked and my life has become less complicated and I feel free of my toxic family.
Stop doing it. I’m going through a similar situation and now I just do it when I feel like it. You’re not their personal maid!!!
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I would try to move out asap
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We live in a multi generational household. Us, our son and his wife and their two kids and then we also have our oldest daughters two youngest since she passed away. We have a community chore list for all the adults and simple chores for the kids… everyone does their fair share… it won’t work out otherwise… we’ve done this for almost 3 years and not had any issues…
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If you can’t move out, I’d put a basket right where everyone can see it and start throwing their mess in it. All of it. Hopefully they’ll see all their stuff and be embarrassed
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Ain’t no living situation ideal when you gotta impose on someone else’s household, my advice is to be the help, I that’s what they expect, than do it, unless you can leave. It’s expensive out here you gotta expect to compromise your comfort and be extra helpful when you don’t have you own place.
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I’d be finding a place and moving myself and my family out of my parents. Until then make a chore list.
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It’s not that easy to up and move out like y’all are suggesting
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Why is this even a question 
Be grateful you have a place to live and respect your parent’s home no matter who makes the messes. Do more than your share and keep your mouth shut or move out.
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Sitting down with everyone and explain your side and how you will only clean up your guys mess but not anybody else’s. Or make a chore schedule on who’s day it is to clean up cook etc. if you can’t do that then I suggest saving money up and moving out
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I’m pretty sure if they could just MOVE OUT they would of by now? It’s not that easy. Stop cleaning after everyone else. Clean up after yourself and your little family, that’s all.
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I’d get my own place asap
I’d sit down with them and tell them you feel like everyone is expecting you to do all the cleaning but you can’t do it on your own and can they please help more or agree to certain days to rotate cleaning tasks. That’s the best way to start. If that doesn’t go well then just keep doing only what you need to feel comfortable and let others come to the realization that they need to help.
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Buy your own caravan then 
Oh hell no. I live in a home with my sister, brother in law, my 3.5 year old daughter and my mom. Everyone helps out. Everyone cooks. Everyone shops for food. Everybody does laundry. Everyone cleans. There is not one person who lives here, that does not contribute to something. Move out date needed to happen yesterday.
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Tbh I’m pretty sure I’d suck it up and try as hard as I could to get out. There’s usually no compromise in these situations because the person helping you out when they act like this they just think you owe them the world. You owe helping when you can, picking up after yourself, and giving your share of necessities in the house. That’s the only unspoken things you owe.
Unless you mean they’re threatening to move out, in which case let them go.
Stop cleaning. Besides you live with your parents you can’t kick them out. Only your parents can.
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I would move out with my family and kids and get my own place.
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This happens in my house after my dad dies my mom and sister and brother moved in with me and my kids. When I say it’s crowed believe me it is. But they hardly ever clean unless I start screaming. Now it’s not possible for them to leave but I have shut things off before. Front bath is dirty well you can’t shower or flush a toilet bedrooms dirty you get no light till it’s clean: mind you these are grown ass adults my sisters 17 my mom 43 and my brother 20 and my kids use my bathroom. So just do you don’t let them touch or use your stuff only clean where you sister or fishes you use only pick up toys that yours played with. Sometimes it’s not worth it other times it makes all them move their asses
who is threatening who
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Find a new place to live where you only have to worry about your family. If you don’t like the dynamic only you can change it. You can’t force anyone else to be responsible.
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I live in a household with my in-laws, brother in law, his daughter (fortnightly), my uncle in-law, my partner, child and I. We each have a night to cook and rotate cleaning. That’s how it should be, it is too much for one person to maintain a household of so many people who are capable of doing the job but just don’t want to. Put your foot down, sit down with everyone and organise a routine that everyone has a part of. Let the adults choose a night to cook, and alternate the cleaning between everyone
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I would find me a home! Even if I had to have second job! Face it you have second job anyway cleaning up after everyone
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Tell then you ain’t their bitch and move out.
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Too many people under one roof…everyone needs to go, and let the parents have their space back…time to grow up and move on …can’t blame the pandemic, 3 years is long enough to blame the pandemic…
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Move as soon as you can
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In these difficult economic times moving might not be an option have a conversation with your parents and see if you can get on the same page then have a family meeting. Talk about chores and responsibilities divide household duties. Make a chart, set days for each task.
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A cleaning schedule ?? And look for a place of your own !!!
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Create a schedule it’s only fair the other adults aside from your parents should chip in. Legit look on pinterest etc. Fine tune something to y’alls situation, work schedules etc. Take charge that way and make it known you aren’t their maid in a calm collected way.
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Someone would grow up & clean or leave. Frfr.
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Move out go to DHS or churches to help
Sit down w everyone and hash out a chore chart & schedule for everyone. Does everyone work outside the home? Not everyone has the same cleanliness/tidiness expectations and standards, so find something everyone can live with. Whoever is picky about something, that chore is theirs. Work to people’s strengths, but rotate chores so no one is stuck ALWAYS making dinner, scrubbing the toilets, or taking out the garbage. Break things down as much as you want: collect, pretreat, wash, dry, fold & put away laundry can be one chore or six or more chores. Have positive and negative consequences for completing or not completing chores. Take away those adults’ cell phones if they’re delinquent! They get them back when chores are done to family standards.
Kids get chores & get gold stars when complete.
Figure out how long it will take for each imposing family group to save up enough to move out & work toward those dates to be out. Y’all need to do nice things for your parents to thank them for taking y’all in.
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Clean up your own messes. If someone else’s mess bothers you, you clean it up. Else leave it. Say nothing. Just leave it for them to clean up.
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That many people under one roof is always going to be hectic, you should be able to save some money and find your own place as well as the sister and her family, I’m sure the parents didn’t think think this was going to be a permanent situation for everyone.
Wow. Since everyone is used to watching you clean, I’m not sure trying to divvy up chores is going to go over very well. You can try, but it will probably last a week or so and degenerate into the same situation. Look for a new place and move as soon as you can. Contact the local housing authority. See if they have any apartments open. That may not be the ideal solution but it’s a start.
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You call people out. If you’re cleaning up after you and yours, when something is said about a mess that isn’t yours, you call out whoever’s mess it is… “(insert name) you have a mess in the (insert room)”.
Now I’m not saying pick your dishes out of the sink and only wash them and I’m not saying pick only your trash out of the can and take only your trash to the curb, but clothes, toys, counter messes etc, should be cleaned by whomever made them or the parent of whomever made those messes.
If you don’t wanna be everyone’s personal maid, then don’t set that standard. If you start picking up after others, it’s going to be expected.
If you’re threatened with move out dates, simply look at them and tell them you’ll be out by that date then. Keep in mind though, since you’ve been living there a while, they do have to give you 30 days notice, at minimum.
Yes, COVID is still around, but we’re not in the middle of a pandemic anymore. Everyone is hiring, there are plenty of rental properties. So maybe it’s time to start focusing on getting out of there.
Save up and move out! Quickly…
Oh god I couldn’t live with that many people thays just a recipe for disaster get some money togeather and ove into own place you’d be much happier
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You moved in first then your sister, you’ve been there longer then her so technically she should actually be helping out since she has two kids to clean up and take care of. Don’t clean their stuff, don’t take care of their stuff, leave it ad when they bitch stand up for yourself, put your foot down. No one should be walked over. If no one wants to help then just overall stop cleaning unless you need dishes for your family. Don’t cook for anyone else. Get a fridge for your room and keep y’all’s food, drinks and whatnot in your room.
tell then to move if they dont evict them be a bitch you dont need this shit as for the slum lord with hold his rent till he fixes the house you can pay it to the court and he will have court costs good luck cause they arnt going nowhere
If you have them Monday through Friday then yes, they should go to school where you live. That would only make sense
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Court should make this decision. If you do not have a lawyer, you need to get one.
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I would definitely move them school to nearer to where you’re living as you have them Monday-Friday x
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I would just change schools.
The kids go to school where they live.
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Yes if they’re with you they should go to school there
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Whatever you do, get it in writing.
I would switch them, if that is where you will be living and, if switching them, works out better for you. Ya have to do what ya gotta do.
I’d be moving them to save the 45min journey everyday, looking at it they stay with him weekends only so why not change schools seen as they/you have moved away? I’m confused.
Where we live they would have to go to the school where they are living mon-fri so yes u need to switch them or see if he has to pay tuition for them to attend the other school
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If it’s like our town…I know the kids will go to the school that is so ex for the area you’re living at…
Can he buy you a new car or get that one fixed?
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Talk to judge , he makes the decisions
If they are living with you Monday-friday most definitely enroll them into the school district where you and them live at.
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No problem, if he doesn’t is the one picking up and dropping off.
Maybe you drive one way, dad drive the other if possible? Does dad pick them up, or they ride the bus Fridays after school? I’m hoping dad is driving them or they take the bus Monday morning to school.
Hard decision all around. Have you talked to how the kids feel about changing schools? Is this a permanent move/location?
Lots of questions to ponder.
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Are you planning on staying where your parents live, or moving again and changing schools again. If this is a temporary placement then they shouldn’t have to change schools. If you aren’t able to make the drive, maybe their dad can keep them during the week and you get them on the weekends. You both have to figure out what is best for your children and not what is more convenient for you.
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Thats a lot of change. Dad take weeks n him bring on weekends?
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It goes by the district. who is closer to the school.
You would have to move back to the original house for them to go to school where they were. Whether your car stopped working or not he can’t expect you to facilitate them going to and from 45 min from where you are plus you need to work? Does he have a solution for that? Are you able to work since you have the kids a majority of the time and you’re the one that moved? Is he helping pay for anything or just hanging out with them on weekends when he’s off work? A lot of things to consider
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Personally I wouldn’t suggest changing schools. Their life has just been turned upside down and school in a consistent for them. Fix the car and figure out life going forward but try to allow them stability where ever possible
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Tell him to move out and you stay in the house with the kids since he wants them in that school so badly. Otherwise he doesn’t have much to say since your the primary caregiver. He sounds like he’s just being difficult, no wonder you divorced him. Seriously good for you for moving on from such a petty man child…
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You have primary custody during the week and you shouldn’t be able to take your kids to school close to you. He has no right to make you drive any distance for school. Don’t worry. Any attorney will be on your side in this. If he wants the responsibility of taking and picking up he’s not going to do that.
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I would say yes that is where you live. Unless he wants to transport them to an from.
If they are with you mostly m-Friday then yes they go to the school that’s by you
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If you plan on staying where you are foe a long while, school should be there. If you’re looking to find a place around your old house, they should stay there. They have friends at their current school. But you’re the one having to do a 45 min drive to and from every day.
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Prayers for you& your husband in Jesus mighty name Amene
Depending on the age of the children and the commute.I had this, the journey was about a hour either way and for my son’s who was 4 at the time it was a very long day, caused him distress etc. I changed the school. Children adapt,Your not being malicious, your thinking of what’s best for the children.
I hate this part of divorce. I feel like parents should be the ones to leave the family home and the kids stay put, in the home they know. The idea of moving kida back and forth rather than the adults has never seemed like “the best interest of the child.” It doesnt seem like a fun idea to most grown ups to have to pack a bag and stay somewhere that isnt home, that isnt your bed, your pillow or your familiar smell of home. Its disruptive when there is so much upheaval already. I wish you all the best. 
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Do the kids want to switch schools? If so, go to the new school, if not, keep them at the same school they have friends at and are comfortable with. They probably have enough change going on right now. If kids reside with mom, mom should have gotten the house.
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You got the kids,you get the choice and.the kids will adjust,don’t understand why you left the house,he should’ve been the one to leave
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For the time being let the kids stay with dad untill you find more appropriate accomodation and he can take them to school and pick them up
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They live there 90 percent of the time, the school district would say go in the district they live in the majority of the time
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Call and see if your kids school allows open enrollment. If they don’t you don’t have much of a choice. The school WILL in the end, find out. Take it from me, the aftermath is not worth it all.
He moves you and the kids stay in the house
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Don’t change their schools - they’ll be going through enough changes already.
Just explain why you are thinking that with the car. Not that you want them to be further away more.
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If you’re the one with the children majority of the time, why did you have to move out??
IMO. How old are the children? If they’re old enough to decide ask them about School. Each day is different for decision-maker. In Vermont it’s 13. Call as if they all want to be with you then you have to be creative with your custody arrangements so that the kids have time together or perhaps 70s on seven days off and went there with him. He hast to drive them to school if it’s not too far away.
I’m really concerned I would go to court right away. You file first before he has an opportunity to build a case or spin a story.
Best of luck to you. Keep us updated.
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Honestly if you have them mon-Fri they are supposed to be in the school zone that their primary residence is.
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Why doesn’t he move out and you go back to the family home where the kids can remain in the same school until you find somewhere else local to the school to live.
I’m sure he can pack a bag and move out for a month or two.
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He should want the best for his children !
He should be helping to make sure you/ They have transportation as well !!
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Why did you move out of the house and not him?
If it’s the us the kids are supposed to go to school in whatever school district they live in which would be yours since they are there the most.
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You’re the kids’ primary parent. If they can’t go to school where you reside, then YOU should be the one living in YOUR house with the kids. Make him find some place else to go!!
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Depends on the school districts and what’s best for the kids. Keeping some consistency (school and friends) will likely be better for them.
Go to court and draft up a custody arrangement and do 2/2/3 schedule that way it’s 50/50 and everyone gets weekdays and weekends
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Moving kids from one school to another would uproot their lives.
I understand that it’s not the most convenient thing to run them 45 minutes one way (I’ve done it - we moved to a neighboring state) but you need to do what’s in the best interest of the kids.
It also depends on their ages. Elementary age kids are easier to move schools, because kids that age can make friends anywhere. My daughter is elementary age and every time we go to the park, she has a new “best friend”. But for older kids, like middle and high school, they have friend groups, sometimes boyfriends/girlfriends, sports, clubs etc. and it’s not always easy for them.
I would also ask the kids what they think/how the feel about changing schools.
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You should have stayed in your house with kids if he wants them in that district. Tell him that, he can move out and drive weekends to see them…
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Kick him out of your house and keep the kids in their school. Also, file for divorce and go for absolutely everything you can get.
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The kids go to school wherever their primary home is located.
Leave them in same school. They are going through enough already. My ex and i worked hard at co-parenting and it worked out fine. The teachers didnt know we divorced because we went to every school meeting and events as a team. Now 40 years later we co-grandparent. We show a united front to our grandkids.
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Get to court as soon as possible school Will be starting soon and sorry they need stability now enroll them in the school district you live in show your looking out for their best interest … What I learned is you both need to put all aside and think of them first work out stuff and your life and theirs will become easier … Move on quit blaming make ur kids as happy as u can bad mouthing each other solves nothing when I let my ex know he didn’t get my goat any more thing changed here is a saying living well is the best revenge never let any one see your down hold you head up and smile