How should I handle this situation?

We are a house of 11. 6 adults 1 teenager and 4 babes/toddlers. Had to move my fam in with my parents a while back because we were under a slumlord that wouldnt fix anything (ceiling fell in one room) and it was just unlivable and money was tight thanks to the pandemic but we dealt with it for as long as possible everything was fine when it was just us and my parents well fast forward to now my sister her dude and their 2 kids move in as well and theres always a mess to clean up I clean up after me and mines yet I get looked at as if I’m suppose to be EVERYONES personal maid all of a sudden and want to threaten with move out dates what would you do how do you handle this situation without becoming everyones personal b****?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How should I handle this situation?

You need to move!! Way to many people in 1 house

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Oh he** no everyone would be responsible for their own messes continue cleaning up after you and yours and they’ll get sick of looking at it

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In my experience…if I’ve done my chores I go into the washroom and pretend to shower or go in the bedroom and pretend to take a nap

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Nothing u can do…u either do what they want or they threaten to kick u out or something else shitty…and even if u do do it it won’t be appreciated and it will be overlooked as if it’s no big deal… living with family is hard especially if they are toxic it’s their way or no way

My grandmother did the same exact thing to me. She needed me for everything and I was there for everything she needed. I got shit on while the rest of my bum family was on pedestals. I moved out and across country with my stimulus. Best decision I ever could make for myself and kids. She calls everyday wanting to know where I’m at or what I’m doing. She is blocked and my life has become less complicated and I feel free of my toxic family.

Stop doing it. I’m going through a similar situation and now I just do it when I feel like it. You’re not their personal maid!!!

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I would try to move out asap

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We live in a multi generational household. Us, our son and his wife and their two kids and then we also have our oldest daughters two youngest since she passed away. We have a community chore list for all the adults and simple chores for the kids… everyone does their fair share… it won’t work out otherwise… we’ve done this for almost 3 years and not had any issues…

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If you can’t move out, I’d put a basket right where everyone can see it and start throwing their mess in it. All of it. Hopefully they’ll see all their stuff and be embarrassed

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Ain’t no living situation ideal when you gotta impose on someone else’s household, my advice is to be the help, I that’s what they expect, than do it, unless you can leave. It’s expensive out here you gotta expect to compromise your comfort and be extra helpful when you don’t have you own place.

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I’d be finding a place and moving myself and my family out of my parents. Until then make a chore list.

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It’s not that easy to up and move out like y’all are suggesting

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Why is this even a question :roll_eyes::woman_shrugging:t3:

Be grateful you have a place to live and respect your parent’s home no matter who makes the messes. Do more than your share and keep your mouth shut or move out.

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Sitting down with everyone and explain your side and how you will only clean up your guys mess but not anybody else’s. Or make a chore schedule on who’s day it is to clean up cook etc. if you can’t do that then I suggest saving money up and moving out

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I’m pretty sure if they could just MOVE OUT they would of by now? It’s not that easy. Stop cleaning after everyone else. Clean up after yourself and your little family, that’s all.

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I’d get my own place asap

I’d sit down with them and tell them you feel like everyone is expecting you to do all the cleaning but you can’t do it on your own and can they please help more or agree to certain days to rotate cleaning tasks. That’s the best way to start. If that doesn’t go well then just keep doing only what you need to feel comfortable and let others come to the realization that they need to help.

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Buy your own caravan then :tipping_hand_woman:

Oh hell no. I live in a home with my sister, brother in law, my 3.5 year old daughter and my mom. Everyone helps out. Everyone cooks. Everyone shops for food. Everybody does laundry. Everyone cleans. There is not one person who lives here, that does not contribute to something. Move out date needed to happen yesterday.

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Tbh I’m pretty sure I’d suck it up and try as hard as I could to get out. There’s usually no compromise in these situations because the person helping you out when they act like this they just think you owe them the world. You owe helping when you can, picking up after yourself, and giving your share of necessities in the house. That’s the only unspoken things you owe.

Unless you mean they’re threatening to move out, in which case let them go.

Stop cleaning. Besides you live with your parents you can’t kick them out. Only your parents can.

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I would move out with my family and kids and get my own place.

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This happens in my house after my dad dies my mom and sister and brother moved in with me and my kids. When I say it’s crowed believe me it is. But they hardly ever clean unless I start screaming. Now it’s not possible for them to leave but I have shut things off before. Front bath is dirty well you can’t shower or flush a toilet bedrooms dirty you get no light till it’s clean: mind you these are grown ass adults my sisters 17 my mom 43 and my brother 20 and my kids use my bathroom. So just do you don’t let them touch or use your stuff only clean where you sister or fishes you use only pick up toys that yours played with. Sometimes it’s not worth it other times it makes all them move their asses

who is threatening who

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Find a new place to live where you only have to worry about your family. If you don’t like the dynamic only you can change it. You can’t force anyone else to be responsible.

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I live in a household with my in-laws, brother in law, his daughter (fortnightly), my uncle in-law, my partner, child and I. We each have a night to cook and rotate cleaning. That’s how it should be, it is too much for one person to maintain a household of so many people who are capable of doing the job but just don’t want to. Put your foot down, sit down with everyone and organise a routine that everyone has a part of. Let the adults choose a night to cook, and alternate the cleaning between everyone

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I would find me a home! Even if I had to have second job! Face it you have second job anyway cleaning up after everyone

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Tell then you ain’t their bitch and move out.

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Too many people under one roof…everyone needs to go, and let the parents have their space back…time to grow up and move on …can’t blame the pandemic, 3 years is long enough to blame the pandemic…

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Move as soon as you can

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In these difficult economic times moving might not be an option have a conversation with your parents and see if you can get on the same page then have a family meeting. Talk about chores and responsibilities divide household duties. Make a chart, set days for each task.

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A cleaning schedule ?? And look for a place of your own !!!

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Create a schedule it’s only fair the other adults aside from your parents should chip in. Legit look on pinterest etc. Fine tune something to y’alls situation, work schedules etc. Take charge that way and make it known you aren’t their maid in a calm collected way.

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Someone would grow up & clean or leave. Frfr.

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Move out go to DHS or churches to help

Sit down w everyone and hash out a chore chart & schedule for everyone. Does everyone work outside the home? Not everyone has the same cleanliness/tidiness expectations and standards, so find something everyone can live with. Whoever is picky about something, that chore is theirs. Work to people’s strengths, but rotate chores so no one is stuck ALWAYS making dinner, scrubbing the toilets, or taking out the garbage. Break things down as much as you want: collect, pretreat, wash, dry, fold & put away laundry can be one chore or six or more chores. Have positive and negative consequences for completing or not completing chores. Take away those adults’ cell phones if they’re delinquent! They get them back when chores are done to family standards.

Kids get chores & get gold stars when complete.

Figure out how long it will take for each imposing family group to save up enough to move out & work toward those dates to be out. Y’all need to do nice things for your parents to thank them for taking y’all in.

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Clean up your own messes. If someone else’s mess bothers you, you clean it up. Else leave it. Say nothing. Just leave it for them to clean up.

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That many people under one roof is always going to be hectic, you should be able to save some money and find your own place as well as the sister and her family, I’m sure the parents didn’t think think this was going to be a permanent situation for everyone.

Wow. Since everyone is used to watching you clean, I’m not sure trying to divvy up chores is going to go over very well. You can try, but it will probably last a week or so and degenerate into the same situation. Look for a new place and move as soon as you can. Contact the local housing authority. See if they have any apartments open. That may not be the ideal solution but it’s a start.

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You call people out. If you’re cleaning up after you and yours, when something is said about a mess that isn’t yours, you call out whoever’s mess it is… “(insert name) you have a mess in the (insert room)”.

Now I’m not saying pick your dishes out of the sink and only wash them and I’m not saying pick only your trash out of the can and take only your trash to the curb, but clothes, toys, counter messes etc, should be cleaned by whomever made them or the parent of whomever made those messes.

If you don’t wanna be everyone’s personal maid, then don’t set that standard. If you start picking up after others, it’s going to be expected.

If you’re threatened with move out dates, simply look at them and tell them you’ll be out by that date then. Keep in mind though, since you’ve been living there a while, they do have to give you 30 days notice, at minimum.

Yes, COVID is still around, but we’re not in the middle of a pandemic anymore. Everyone is hiring, there are plenty of rental properties. So maybe it’s time to start focusing on getting out of there.

Save up and move out! Quickly…

Oh god I couldn’t live with that many people thays just a recipe for disaster get some money togeather and ove into own place you’d be much happier

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You moved in first then your sister, you’ve been there longer then her so technically she should actually be helping out since she has two kids to clean up and take care of. Don’t clean their stuff, don’t take care of their stuff, leave it ad when they bitch stand up for yourself, put your foot down. No one should be walked over. If no one wants to help then just overall stop cleaning unless you need dishes for your family. Don’t cook for anyone else. Get a fridge for your room and keep y’all’s food, drinks and whatnot in your room.

tell then to move if they dont evict them be a bitch you dont need this shit as for the slum lord with hold his rent till he fixes the house you can pay it to the court and he will have court costs good luck cause they arnt going nowhere