He may be taking it slowly because he is taking ur child into consideration… it may not be negative… he could be just caring about ur child and the possible effects if things didn’t work out… ask him what he meant by that … but by the way u have described him he sounds a decent fella, so fingers crossed he meant it like that and not a negative way
From experience, It’s good that he is honest now. Instead of living together for over a year and then suddenly coming out with I hate your child, I can’t do this etc etc. 
I now realise I would never want to have another child with said person, knowing he would favour that child over mine. I hope this works out for you, it’s such a terrible feeling knowing they love you and want you but not your child. Sending love to you and hope you make the right decisions for yourself and your child xx
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Maybe he’s just not ready to suddenly be living with you with a child .8 months isn’t a long time to be living together .he’s probably just wanting to be sure
That’s a good sensible,
Honest, and well thought out response. He isn’t taking this lightly.
I think it’s great. Take your time. No rush… 
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Say you move in tougher and all goes really bad. At least he’s honest and you know now. Since that isn’t something you want it’s probably best to go separate ways to save yourself getting even more hurt down the road. It’ll be hard for you to get over what he said and most likely hold resentment towards him which will put strain on the relationship.
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Have you explored this answer more with him? If so, I’d be interested to hear more. Perhaps he meant that its complicated for him to move in so soon when there is a child involved because he wants more time to build that relationship with you both. Or, like some have said, it could be he’s not ready to be that type of figure in your child’s life. Open this communication up with him, and set boundaries if the answer he gives isn’t the one that you need for you and your child.
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Umm he’s being honest. He doesn’t want the responsibility of being a “father!” This is the time for you to decide if you are going to waste another 8 months of your life or move on…
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Tell him goodbye I am a package deal
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I’d be leaving him, that’s for sure.
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He’d be my EX right away. My kids come first no matter what
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I think he sounds more responsible than you. That’s a pretty short amount of time to be trying to live with someone when you have a child involved. Slow down
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I guess he’s being honest and you have to decide where you go as a couple from now.
Talk to him. Ask him if he sees a future together as a family and is taking it slow or never wants to be a family.
Either way I’d be signing a new lease and thinking carefully about the time he spends with your child.
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I’m a single mom, my kids are 26 and 16 now and I know everyone parents different but After only 8 months I definitely wouldn’t be thinking about moving in together.
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Maybe he’s thinking of the kids best interest (like you should be doing 
)
Don’t move some guy, you just started dating, in with your child.
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Move on. He’s not looking for a family
Maybe an issue w your child or maybe he sees other people. ASK HIM, straight up.
How would I take it? Take it and LEAVE! 
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Time for him to go,as for me Anyang who wants to be in my love and don’t see my child as a part has to go,I prioritise my children above all else.and given he told you how he feels now should save you heartache later
My boyfriend got us a place within 7 months of dating. He has two and I have one. I would start looking else where. All the women say it’s not the best for your kid but when you know you know if he doesn’t feel the same you have to leave
8 months wasted…dont waste another 8.
I would end the relationship. Love me, love my child.
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BOY BYE!!! 
Girl go find yourself a real man
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I mean it hasn’t been that long. Living together is a huge commitment. Especially with a child. That’s a very short amount of time in my book, I would take it as he wants more time to make sure things are right before putting himself in a living situation with someone else’s child.
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Its an honest response you don’t like it but it’s honest he doesn’t have children he wouldn’t want to move into a place with them. It’s better then moving then he be honest right
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There’s nothing wrong with waiting and not taking a chance on disrupting the child. He’s saying you’d already be there, but I wouldn’t take it as negative towards the child, but protecting your child. Find your own place, and I definitely would not base moving in with someone on when your lease is up. That looks like you’re looking for housing instead of the man.
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Boy byeeeeeee! I come as a packaged deal!!!
We’d be done after that 
If I was a single person I’d probably willy nilly move in with someone but I’m not a single person, I’m a single mother and I wouldn’t be running to move in with a guy who I had only been dating for 8 months. Maybe he’s thinking the same thing? Slow down. If he’s the one you’re meant to be with you don’t need to move in together this soon.
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I would talk with him. Maybe he means the stakes are higher with a child. Not that he isn’t accepting of your child. I would have a real conversation and ask what he meant when he said that.
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He could just mean he doesn’t want to hurt the kid if y’all don’t work out. You can tell what’s up from that. Be an ADULT in an ADULT relationship and say “what do you mean by that?”
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It’s only 8 months long. Rather move alone with your son. This relationship is still new.
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He knew you had a child. A real man would accept that you are a package deal. I’d say it’s time to move on an say boy bye!
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It’s been 8 months…IMO that is waaaay too soon, find your own place. Then, have a conversation on what exactly that meant. Just be very clear, don’t be afraid to scare him off, better to know than waste ur time.
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Look for your own place obviously, and get rid of him!!!. He doesn’t want to accept that you and your child are a package deal, then see ya later!!!
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The relationship is 8 months he thinks of you and not the kid get your own place
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He knew you had a child from the beginning. If he doesn’t accept him as part of the deal dump him before he does damage to your child.
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He’s not accepting of your child, drop him.
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Guess I was an over protective parent…. My children didn’t meet my spouse for almost 6 months …. Let alone plan on living together
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Uhm what?? We would be done like yesterday! 
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If he is not having anything to do with your kid dump him, not saying you hafta move in togather saying you don’t like my kid you don’t like me we’re a package deal!!!
Hmmm I would ask him … instead of trying to guess 
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Sounds like you got your child involved rather early in this new relationship, however most people usually have an idea of where its going after this amount of time. You received your answer, now make your moves. Sign a new lease on your own and put your relationship on probation so you can start understanding where this persons head and heart is. Theres no shame in assessing the variable which is him, not your child.
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I would just smile and ask him what he meant with that. He could be being a man and thinking about the child and the what if you two didn’t work out. Or just something who knows.
He’s saying he would want only u to move in not the kids and if he can’t except the whole package then I’d say Goodbye 
You can’t renew lease? Moving sucks and so does breaking up but sounds like he is just using you to pass time. Let him go.
Dump him…he wants a sex toy thats available to take out of the drawer or shelve anytime he pleases. Hes not interested in YOUR children and if you get pregnant his interest in that child will be short lived…another thing…great relationship no arguements??? BIG RED FLAG. Your both trying to hard to to have conflict and your building up kindling for a destructive fire…believe me i ve been married 4 times and its just like what your describing to a t…get out while you can…he COULD end up being a batterer if pushef too far and feels trapped …he would be mildly controlling now…but it would definately get worse as binding ropes of the relationship continue to frey…
Run fast and don’t look back
My response would be. Boy bye.
He should of just said im not ready. To drop that comment is a red flag.
Your child is going not a place so looks like it won’t change at this point.
Thank you. Next
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Not for you find someone who’s gonna love you and you chold
Drop him like he’s hot
Its been 8 months! Slow down. Just because he isn’t willing to move you and your kid in at this moment in time doesn’t mean you should end the relationship. Be an adult and have a civilized conversation about it. Ask him if her thought it was too soon or if he doesn’t see this as being long term and eventually moving in together.
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You dump him; If he can’t accept your child wholeheartedly then it’ll never work!!
I’d tell him to fuck off
8 months really isn’t that long. However, at first I’d be irritated because I wouldn’t be expecting that answer. But ask him what he meant by that. Maybe he wants to be together longer before moving in because of the sake of your child?
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Has he only got a 1 bed that maybe he’s implying if there was enough room then maybe x just find your own place and if he wants to move in later down the line then do it that way x
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Can’t be mad honestly, that’s a lot for a child to take in, probably just thinking of your child and you, I doubt anything harmful
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8 months isnt a long time to be together before moving in. You wouldn’t have even have seen half of their annoying habbits. He is probably just not ready to be with your kid full time. Id give it at least another 6 months before entertaining the idea of moving in.
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Living with a kid is different to coming over and seeing your kid with you 
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I don’t think it’s an issue. It’s easier to make decisions without children involved but there’s a child and it would be irresponsible of him to leap without knowing he is ready to be a dad. That’s what you and hun living together will be, him being a dad. It’s only been 8months, give it time. Move to a new place. It’s your lease that’s up, not the relationship.
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You dont have a man. You dont have “a great relationship.” You have a person who wanted the benefits of commitment without actually making one to you and your child. 
. Move on and dont continue to break your own heart for a man who doesnt truly want to commit to you and your child. The same child he already knew you had.
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Nobody knows the whole situation. It completely depends on context and the conversation that followed after. Maybe he doesn’t have space for you to both move in, and can’t afford somewhere new right now, whereas if there was no child he’d have space just for you to move in. Maybe he is being considerate of your child and not wanting to rush everything with him in such a short time x
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The best thing to do would be to ask him directly not in a confrontational way though. One bloke said he won’t date single mothers because he has fallin in love with the kids and if things don’t work out he loses the kids that he adores. As a woman I never thought of it that way before, but it’s a very valid point 
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Maybe he just doesn’t want to make a serious move like that with a child involved and he wants to wait longer because the impact and effect on the child if it doesn’t work is so great and could potentially be really hurtful/harmful. Be appreciative of his honesty. You might be sure about your feelings for him, so don’t worry about taking it a little slow for the benefit of your child. It’s not going to hurt anyone by doing so. 5 months isn’t that long for your child or him to have gotten to know each other. 8 months for you and him isn’t really all that long either. Let your relationship continue to progress. Let him be confident that he’s ready for the full time responsibility of being a role model and having a child under his roof full time. That’s a big commitment and you should appreciate that he’s not taking it lightly.
Ps: I say this as wife and a step-mom who was there once. It works when you take the time to do it right. Also, it makes your relationship stronger.
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Wow! No wonder relationships don’t work anymore, wth, it’s been 8 months & you have a child, he’s clearly not wanting to rush into anything and I don’t blame him you shouldn’t either, you need to know someone properly before fully committing to it!
Can’t believe how many people say just leave him 
If he never wants to live with you then fair enough but jeez
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He’s being responsible with your son’s mental well-being, you are not. Introducing your child to someone that soon is completely reckless parenting - moving your child in with someone that soon is ridiculous. Make your son the priority, not your dating life.
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If you like it put a ring on it - he needs to sort out his expectations and you yours . Your a package deal - period
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To be honest 8 months into a relationship I’m not about to move in with anyone especially if I’ve got kids .
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If im being honest people dont really let a man meet their children until at least 6mnths in to it and know wether its serious. If youve only been good consistently 5mnths then moving in is defo far to soon. If it was just you fair enough. Enjoy the dating, space and missing each other. Build on that for a while longer. Do you want to rush in to it for it to not work out and your boy be attached to a man he barely knows and wont understand why he had to leave
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Without any other context I assume he is saying that he would happily rush into living together if it were just u and him but he is recognising that things need to go a bit slower for the sake of the child involved. I don’t think he was saying he doesn’t want your kid in his life, just that he is conscious of the need to take things slow and cautiously because there is a child involved. Honestly if I was dating someone for 8 months wether they have a child or not, I would be quite taken aback by them asking if they can move in because their lease is up… renew your lease. And then initiate a conversation about expected timelines for such events.
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I think you should move out to a place you want to be and it shouldn’t involve him in any way. People move too fast especially when children are involved. Give it more time unless there is something about great about him my feeling would have been hurt especially since he’s been staying consistently with you and your son now.
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Sounds like he isn’t ready to take on a child I wouldn’t be ok with that your child should always come first
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You could thank him for his honesty and move on if that’s not what you’re looking for… All these comments clearly show many women expect men to be perfectly who they want them to be.
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Be grateful that he actually cares enough not to rush things because of the child. It’s much easier to live with someone & if it doesn’t work out, to move on vs involving a child who would be confused & upset if things don’t work. 8 months is just way too soon to move in together with a child involved
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His response aside, I’m not sure I’d move my child and myself in with someone 8 months into a relationship( and if the relationship was ready it wouldn’t even need to be asked
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Took three years for me and my fiance to be exclusive and move in. Good things take time and effort. Dont rush it you barely know the man.
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I would take it as a very bad sign I mean what does he want? Susan Smith drove her babies into the river because of a guy that felt like that. Men should not go into a long relationship with a woman with children if they can’t handle it.
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Keep being Independent - if he wants you to live with him, then you can say yes or no. A relationship should be of equal desire. 
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I wouldn’t look into it too much only being 8 months in. Deciding to live with someone is a big enough decision without adding children into it.
Don’t try and push it. I know it may seem like a big blow, but being so soon into it, I wouldn’t worry. Just sign a new lease, and see where things are at next time.
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I would make sure that he’s not trying to insinuate that he is taking it slow for the sake of your child. Rather than he doesn’t want to live with your child. It really could come off ether way to me
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Im kind of old fashion …It depends on the tone…I believe he’s right. Me personally i would not have a man living in my home unless we were married…that’s to much to put on kids and what kind of message would you be sending to you son or daughter…it’s not good to have a Revolving door of men in their lil lives…it’s a good thing he’s not living with you, it’s a sign of respect.
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Man: No
Woman: What does it mean?
Note: He does not see you as long term material because he doesnt want to raise another man’s child. More men than not are like this.
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I certainly wouldn’t be thinking of moving in with some guy after only 8 months! Its way to soon, I think he is being responsible and thinking about your child, just enjoy the relationship the way it is for now and see what the future holds! Xx
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He’s just not ready to commit to being full time Dad. He may be able to be so for short periods. 5 months isn’t long enough to commit to a live in relationship. Plan your life for you & yourson not on the whims of some new man.
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Even though he loves you and spending time with you and the kid is nice he prefers the time when it’s just you and him. It’s possible he doesn’t want to take on the 24/7 responsibility and play dad. Do you feel a way because you’d rather share the cost or because he still wants his own.
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8 months is not a long time. Living together is a very big step. And so is basically becoming a “dad” if you move in together. Give him time.
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Is it only me to feel that 8 months is very short time to allow someone to be part of my kid’s life on daily basis and trust him that he has the same good intention and priority for my kid (which comes when you are living together and is a huge step). Give it more time.
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I think he has a point. If he’s not ready to be a full time male figure in your child’s life don’t force him. Not everyone is ready for that and it should be respected
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Sounds like he’s just trying to be honest and say that he’s not ready to become the nuclear family you were expecting, which to me is perfectly fine, 8 months is not a long time and for him to not beat around the bush and just say that is him being responsible and mature. Just because its not the answer you were fishing for doesn’t mean its not the right answer for where you are in your relationship right now,
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Guess the relationship wasn’t as great as you thought. We as human beings tend to draw a fantasy in our minds then try to live in it instead of seeing the real truth.
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My now ex and I moved in together after 3 months of being together (I’d known him for yrs prior to us being a couple) with my two kids who started calling him daddy not long after we got together. Never once did we think about telling them no they couldnt call him that (their donor isnt anywhere in the picture) he has been there for them for the past 6 yrs and is still there for them even after we split. Maybe he just isnt ready to commit to that?
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It’s a big step just moving 8n with each other that should be discussed. With a child it’s a huge step. Doesn’t matter if it’s a single mom or dad, this area needs more of a discussion. Maybe his place isn’t big enough for the child. Maybe the area he lives in is not a nice place.
What ever the reason is the significant other’s life is going to change. Maybe they are not ready at this point in time. But who knows maybe 6 months to a year later they will have a change of heart.
Don’t rush to quick with things. If it’s ment to be things will work out. Just keep an open line of communication about things.
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He has respect for your child. (Just my opinion)
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I don’t see that as an issue. Taking on a kid is a lot and there isn’t anything wrong with him thinking harder about it. Also, 8 months is not very long.
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I’m sorry for you, it is hard to realise you are not on the same page. Ìt is your decision to either just carry on and wear it but you could begin to resent his attitude. If you were my best friend I would say ditch him but as I don’t know your heart, it’s up to you.
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8 months is not enough time for such a huge commitment. We shouldn’t shame him , actually a good thing he is thinking about himself and y’all. I would hate for him to move in not be ready and then leave after you got a place together. My husband and I dated at least a year before we got engaged and we didn’t have kids. Keep control of your life, move on your own.
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I think he is being honest with you. He isn’t ready to make the huge leap. Having a child in your life is a huge decision for someone when they are not the parent.
I have of my own children and have avoided men with children. It’s a huge responsibility just having my own much less add someone else’s.
8 months isn’t that long of time. What’s the rush? He is being mature by not telling you a whole bunch of lies. If anything, someone trying to rush someone into something they aren’t ready for, pushes them away.
Living with someone is not all it’s cracked up to be. Enjoy your single life and your time with your child.
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I would say okay and never talk to him again. You have a child and if he doesn’t like that or it doesn’t fit into his life the way he wants, he is doing you a favor.
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