I would take that as he wants you but not the responsibility of your child, therefore he’s wasting your time and is never going to be there for your child, you can accept that you will never live together and carry on, or you can stand by your child and find someone that is willing to take the responsibility of your whole package. Good luck, you already know the answer, listen to what your gut tells you, not your head or your heart!
3 Likes
I’d take it as he is concerned for your child. Doesn’t want to do anything to cause harm. I’d take it as he is saying there is a child to consider and his needs come first.
Although five years is a long time to a child so to the child he is already deeply involved. Best of luck. 
Saying if it were just her they would already be living together for me leaves absolutely no room in my mind for doubt. And she said it was continuously for 5 months which to me means PROBABLY staying all night and getting more live in like with the CHILD also. So it is obvious to me he like the convince of her and her place but doesn’t want a permanent or committed girlfriend and child. Now you know this and have a decision to make. I would just do what I want for my son and myself. Not have him pretend living at your place lease or not and date if you want with no expectations. I was single with 2 kids and if someone even hinted that they would have a different relationship if my kids were not included I would have said bye right them and there especially because I would never ever want them to feel it from that person or any person!
3 Likes
If I would ask that question, “which I would not,” I would reply to his response…
You know what, just forget it, I can’t even answer that question.
I can’t even imagine giving him a piece of the pie let alone wanting to move in with him after such a short period of time. And as for my child, he hasn’t even met him yet.
For me, that’s just a “NO CAN DO.” YUCK🤮!
1 Like
I’d take it as you’ve only been seeing one another for 8 mnths and moving in with one another with a kid, is a huge step. I don’t take it as him not wanting to be in the kids life or anything like that but the kid has only been in his life for 5 mnths and there’s nothing wrong if he isn’t ready to move in together. I honestly respect him for that. Why rush things when you have a kid mixed in this? Why do single mothers feel like they need to rush things with a man. Put your kid first and quit rushing when it comes to moving a man into the same house as your child. Especially a man you’ve not even been dating for a year. No wonder kids are at a higher risk of being abused by their mothers boyfriends.
7 Likes
Definitely depends completely on the relationship. If he’s not ready, don’t rush it. Definitely not if children are involved. On that note however, my now husband and I moved in together after 3 months. He also had two very small children at the time. Everyone told us we were crazy and it was to soon, but when you know, you know. We had spent basically every night together since the night we met. My lease was ending, his was to. It didn’t really make sense to be paying for two rentals so we decided to get one together. We discussed upfront that if for any reason it didn’t work out, I would move out because it would have been easier considering he had two dependent children. We have now been married for two years and have a baby together.
If he isn’t ready, don’t push it.
I think you are assuming a lot and putting pressure on him for only being in a relationship for 8 months. Put your child FIRST!! Do what’s right for you and him. If the relationship works out, it works out, but don’t assume someone wants an instafamily. It may be a lot of pressure, for someone who is not ready.
Omfg they’ve been together 8 months guys 
hes supposed to just decided to become a step parent in that time? Sounds like he doesnt want to rush in and potentially hurt this little boy if shit goes sideways. Totally fine for me. Id respect that and just say we will wait and see how it plays out. Why rush in so quickly after 8 months?
Well, mabe it’s just not the right time for all 3 of you but don’t let his decision cause a set back for you and your son. Set backs are usually hard to recover when your prosperity,progress is compromised so choose them wisely…and concentrate on place to call home for now, this allows less stress for the boy and his mom and gives the gentleman time to reflect on a tough life long decision that was asked of him. Keep the chin up, God Bless
8 month’s and your expecting him to make a commitment that involves your child.
I would ask what he means by his reply. He may not be ready to move in with you but that doesn’t mean he isn’t wanting a relationship.
He’s known the child for 5 months and we are not aware of his living situation and what he thinks of the relationship thus far. He may be living in a one bedroom apartment. Her lease is up but what is his situation? It’s not exactly ideal for some people to just uproot their life to better suit someone else’s just because they have a child. Also, they’ve not even dated a year. What if they break up in a few months? What about her child? Is she just gonna drag her kid from place to place and from man to man because she thinks everything is going great?
Honestly, the guy sounds responsible and it sounds like he’s thinking of the child’s well being in the long term.
You need clarity. Ask him for clarity and understanding. What does that mean? Is it an issue of physical space? Commitment? Finances?
I think 8 months is too soon to be moving in with someone, and 5 months is way to soon to be moving your child in with someone that soon as well. But that is just me. Renew your lease, keep dating unless y’all choose to separate. But I would take more time.
I would find another place or renew your lease. I would also ask him to explain what he meant by that because that would matter as to whether you should continue the relationship. I am sure you are hurt. I am sorry you are going through this.
Have you actually asked him what he means by that? Asked for elaboration. You’ve instantly gone on the defence (as a parent usually would) assuming it’s negative about your child. As someone who entered a relationship with a child already, some people just aren’t ready for the responsibility that comes with moving in, with said child. Talk about it. Ask him how he feels. Ask him how sees your future in what kind of time frame. In saying all of that… don’t rush that. The biggest advice I would give is do not rush that move. It’s big.
Eight months is not a long time although he may be good with your child. He just not ready for the extra commitment to your kid and now your lease is up and you want him to come with you and your kid to a new place. That says to him…I need to really take it slow.
I would take that response as my que to end things before I waste too much time on a dead end relationship with a man who doesn’t want to be a part of my child’s life in that capacity.
I wouldn’t move in with my significant other before marriage- because he had children. I loved the children and wanted to live with them - but not before marriage. Where I’m from, that is what’s considered appropriate: adults live together (and share a bed together) after marriage. Give your relationship time to grow.
Maybe you need to think more seriously. How is he with your child or is he around when your child isn’t there.You come as a package but if I was you I would move into another house on your own n see what happens after 6-13 monthd
You just have to ask him what he means. No other way than communication.
I wish more guys were like this. Some jump into relationships without really thinking about the responsibilities of dating a single mother.
Renew your lease…relay only on yourself to keep your child safe and clothes. When the time comes it will be right…take your time!
I’d say he is testing the relationship. He wants to know how much he can get from you for free. And he will get it all if can. Now is when you set up you demand s
Or forget. Beware now is when you set your rules, not after you have lived together.
Here’s the thing, just bc you’re dating does not make your child HIS obligation. You don’t get to rush him just because you brought a kid into the relationship and introduced them almost immediately. He accepted the child as part of your life while dating bc you’re a package deal. It was a long time before my now husband got to meet my kids while dating. It was about six to eight months before we said I love you and got engaged about a year in. We didn’t move in together until prolly another six months after that and mostly bc I got pregnant. Otherwise we were both fine with waiting longer. Why rush things? At least he’s being open and honest, you can’t punish him for that. Also, seems like you’re moving faster than he wants
He just told you your child was the issue! He has to know your child should always come first! You don’t say how old your child is or if his real dad is in his life and he has a secure father figure or if living together will make this guy his father figure! Maybe he doesn’t want to sign up for that! I don’t get why you 2 haven’t even talked about it first because that’s an awful big move to make in everyone’s life! Sounds like all of you are really young and don’t realize how important this is especially for your kid! And if the main reason for you moving in together is your lease being up, not ready!
Giving him the benefit of doubt. Maybe his only got a 1 bedroom home. Hence why he said he would move the girl friend in an instant but not her son. Which makes. Maybe just ask what he meant by that
He’s not wanting to jump into dad hood. I think it’s pretty responsible of him.
8 TINY MONTHS REALLY he OBVIOUSLY DOES NOT WANT KIDS let alone someone else’s responsibility to look after. Run for the hills And look after your
Own kid .
My ex once said this…7yr later admitted he cant stand my kids…get out now while u can xx
8 months? Yeah he’s not over reacting or disregarding your child. He’s being a grown booty man looking out for both you and your child making sure things will be solid and stable before taking that next step. Don’t be upset with him for wanting to do things right. Breaking up with a person without a child involved is pretty easy compared to being involved and moving in a mother and her child getting attached to the child then the relationship going bad and then have to destroy a little child’s world just because you guys weren’t together long enough to decide whether or not it would work.
Too soon8 mouthed is no where near long enough to be moving in with someone especially when you have a young child to consider.
I would say goodbye to him!
1 Like
You should focus on your child and have your own place. Likely he doesn’t want the responsibility for taking on a child that isn’t his.
I think he would be right not to want to make a home after 8 months of being in a relationship … way to fast!
If I was to be old fashioned perhaps prioritise marriage over cohabiting. Its proven to have a much higher long term success rate. I know from personal experience too as I’ve done both.
He could just be putting your child’s well-being first. But talk to him that’s the only way you’ll know either way
Not everyone wants to live with a kid. Understandable.
A very mature caring response. 8 mths is not a long time but if he moved in and in 12 mths you broke up that precious child of yours is gonna be badly hurt not only you.
The person you should be asking is him. Communication is key. Ask him to explain what he means by that.
Talk to him instead of us. He might not be ready to be a full time step parent living with the kid, especially after less than a year.
Possible try to take that as a good thing.
You don’t want to move in with a partner just to find out they can’t handle a child around 24/7.
1 Like
You can replace him but not your child. Bewitch someone who wants the whole package not just when it suits him. Everyone going on its only 8 months? Would you not know what you want after being with someone that long. I know I would either way
8 months… And that’s why shit will hit the fan…the right move at the wrong time…it’s the wrong move… don’t be one of those entitled woman that want all their way…
see ya a child is more important then relationships but before i say anything i like to bold face ask him what he ment?
It’s a big decision to move in together. 8/5 months isn’t that long. Wait.
Omg that aok means he is actualky considering your child
1 Like
That’s a red flag. But maybe he meant he was taking it slow for the sake of your son. Just talk to him and get clarification
I would respond with a 
and have a good day
You have honesty!! A big ask to take on another mans children, you HAVE to do it. He DOESNT!
Ummmm y’all only been dating 8 months….that’s too early to be living together anyway
You asked question so he chose no kids! So I would say look for another place and guy
Time to appreciate what you had, and move along.
It’s only been 8 months!
Get your own place and see how things are in another 12 months.
2 Likes
It’s a big decision. I wouldn’t take it personally at all. 8mths isn’t that long at all.
He is not ready to be a stepfather and is not accepting your child, major red flag!
I would ask him this question :
1)Would you prefer that I don’t have a child? What would have been the difference in the dynamics of the relationship?
( Listen attentively without interruptions and assumptive judgements)
2)Since me having a child is the reason why you don’t want to live with me, what would make you want to live with me, given the fact that I come as a package deal? More time for you to be mentally and psychologically prepared?
Let the answers sink in for awhile, don’t react, just respond…“ok, thanks for the input, I’ll be in touch”.
During this time, think calmly as you allow yourself to evaluate where this relationship is heading, is there any potential for a future, with you and your child together. Do not neglect your gut feelings as they are signs to warn you of what’s to come of you proceed and what needs to be done now.
Take this as a blessing, not a premonition to something sinister such as a heartbreak, which is better now than later. Living together prematurely may either strengthen the bond or break it. Give him time to do some self reflection as well as evaluation of the relationship by maintaining the distance, until you both are ready to discuss about the conclusion or decision.
Remember, do not lose your cool from getting emotional. Respect his decision and view point and validate and fears and concerns from his side, same would be expected from him as well.
I’d be so DONE 
with this guy.
zero tolerance- move on
Move slightly inconvenient distance away and see what happens
Seems like your lease is up and he was going to be a convenient option. I don’t think he is ready for an instant family. It was a little presumptuous of you to ask. If he wanted you to move in, he’d have suggested it.
No kids for now. If he really loves you, then wait til he is ready…
8 months? You have got to be kidding? Too soon…slow down… you really don’t know each other yet!
It’s only been 8 months and you want to move in together??? I didn’t move in with my boyfriend till 2 years together😳…
Your child will always be a part of your life!
That he wants to be an uncle not a dad
Have you considered asking him why….? Like there is no context here how are we supposed to answer
Ahh well as its both you, you don’t need to invite him!!!
Your child holding him back. I would ask why? you need to know that. Them move accordingly.
I wouldn’t waste too much of ur time with that
Anybody telling you to leave this man is dumb and please don’t listen. You have a child. You should not be even considering moving in with a man you’ve only been dating 8 months. Considering your child before considering living with you is what we need in the world. Stop rushing every damn thing
11 Likes
Kick him too the cerb, He doesn’t want the baby he only has eyes on you
I’d never live with anyone who said something like that! Penises come and go, but your child is yours forever!!! Even when they are a pain in the ass!
Slow down for your kids sake.
Find your own place.
8 months is not that long!!!
1 Like
Forget it. Dis my kid and you’re gone. Don’t waste any more time.
Awww 
but he’d have to go
…my head is about to explode…
I’d say bye Felicia 
kiddos come first
8mths is not very long. Stay independent.
If you didn’t have a kid he would already be living with you. That’s what it sounds like.
Time to say bye bye lose.
Say bye cause you need to put your kids first 
Eight months is really not that long. And you should be thankful he was being honest with you. If he’s only been in your child’s life consistently for 5 months, that’s not very much time. It’s a HUGE responsibility to add a child into the relationship, especially living together. Don’t pressure him. Take a step back and do what you need to do for yourself and especially your child. That should be the most important thing in your life.
10 Likes
Don’t hold out any hope for the
Future dear
He’s respectful of your children.
Seperate houses are best.
Your child and yourself are a package deal.
I would respond with, “buh-bye.” Personally.
You’ve only been together 8 months…
If I was you piss him off now
Who moves in with someone after 8 months of dating?
You lost me at 8 months.
give him the boot clearly he don’t want the responsibility yet
2 Likes
I’d be out of there 
No future with this person
Having a child is a big step and responsibility. He can still care about both of y’all. But just not ready to make that big of a leap yet. 8 months really isn’t that long. Take more time get to know each other more as a couple. Take more time to date.
11 Likes
Bye then,nice knowing ya!
Baby he told you if it was just you…clearly your child is an issue…ladies stop being so clueless…
1 Like
Dealbreaker move on.