My stepson is 12 years old. He’s a great kid, but struggles with ADHD, add, and oppositional defiance disorder. He is in counseling. He is currently homeschooled because he would get in trouble at school a lot. He refuses to do his schoolwork and is weeks behind on his work. We’ve taken his video games and tv which aggravates him, but he still won’t do his work. He says the school is “stupid af” and pointless, and we can not get him to do it. On top of the school struggles, anytime we go to the store, he wants us to spend money on random things he doesn’t need, and we always tell him that we will not reward him for not doing his work. So he will yell and occasionally throw things in the store when he is told no. Anytime I ask him to do school work or household chores, he says no, and I can’t get him to do them without my husband forcing him. It’s just incredibly aggravating because he can be such a wonderful fun kid to be around, but when it comes to any responsibility that he HAS to do, he becomes so unhinged. He screams, kicks walls, slams doors, throws things on the ground, and will just become extremely stubborn and say, “no, I’m gonna watch tv” and then runs into my room to watch tv. I’m at my wit’s end, and hoping someone has advice on children with ODD.
I don’t have much advice but my son was the same way with odd and ADHD and he is 20 now and can still be quite a handful. I’ve tried everything under the sun. Nothing works. It’s very overwhelming! Hang in there.
Have you explored having Autism ruled out. Some of his behavior including his current diagnoses may fit the criteria for the diagnosis.
Also, ensure he is engaged with the therapist. Maybe discuss a family session and meet all together
Some boot camp. Sounds harsh. You’re on the right track of not rewarding bad behavior. But he’s a teen and unfortunately his actions can become worse. Sounds like a good kid but you can hear he knows he can take advantage of you. If his problem is all behavioral issues sounds like a spoiled brat, and not an “at risk” teen from a bad or abusive home. I wouldn’t put up with it in my house. Tough love is better than giving up!
Just something to look into? My son is only 7 and has been showing many of these and this was given to us by our ENT. His tonsils come out in two weeks. Then we are re-evaluating in a couple months.
Dont take him to the store anymore and take away all electronics, not just sometime but until he’s caught up. And dont allow him in your room. No exceptions.
My 8yr old…great kid most time but fuck im getting so over whelmed. He only had 2 diagnose need 3 to b on autism spectrum…i have no advice…just i feel ya hopefully it gets better
Sounds like someone needs there ass beat. Dont take to the store anymore and keep him out of your room. I understand he has a 'disability ’ but u need to do some more harsh punishment
Boot camp I wish I would have listened when someone told me that. My son is now 17 and in prison. He was the exact same way. Could be very sweet and thoughtful most times.
If he is going to your room to watch tv turn off the internet and take out any cable boxes for right now
- his ass wouldn’t be going to any store or anywhere he can’t behave. Can’t behave? Stay home. 2) ha, electronics? Consider yourself amish, you ain’t got no electricity son. 3) ya hungry? You’ll do them dishes, or you ain’t gonna eat off them. You ain’t eating period. You want to eat provide me with a clean plate a fork, and a spoon, and a knife. If you can’t…. you are not having dinner in my house. 4) hard to watch tv when the cord has been cut off with my best scissors
is he on medication? I would maybe suggest that might help as it might calm him down and relax him enough to be able to do concentrate on his work etc
If he’s not medicated, i think its time to look into medication. For my own son unmanaged ADHD contributes heavily to ODD symptoms because he lacks the impulse control to think things through.
Aside from that set up an economy reward system, make him earn his privileges.
I have a child with ODD, but has multiple other issues including very low iq. So, there is no comparison. However, through much reading and research. There are many options for behavior modification through specialized programs or treatment centers.
When i was kid they thought i had ODD, was even tested for it and all. I was diagnosed but my doctor told my mom is was just ASS disorder… Trying to push my parents buttons, not listen, test boundaries and just be a little ASS!! i do have adhd too but my dr suggested they just get tougher with punishments & dont let me walk all over them & after they put their foot down my attitude changed completely and no more ODD🤷 Just a thought!!
Depending on your location your local county should have services that include home visits from a worker and respite help for parents. He potentially could gain a great relationship with that person as an ally/support. I used to work as one for children ages 6-21 and it was a great service. My county had a “single point of contact” which was the person to call to get these types of services. Try looking into this as an option for more support and guidance added. The more the better
I think maybe u should join him and also get into counseling… itll give u an outlet and better understanding on how HE feels and what HE is going through …its not peaches and cream for him either
My son was originally diagnosed with this. He also has adhd and a sensory processing disorder, and social communication disorder. Aba therapy was thee best thing ever. That and after trying every natural thing possible we gave meds a try. Day and night. Sounds like he is doing exactly what he was diagnosed with. He needs professional help. Counseling isn’t enough. Keep trying momma and please don’t feel defeated 
I was in your shoes. Typically a child with ODD, taking away things won’t even budge their behavior. Remember they literally can not control it on their own. Different therapy’s. Show him lots and lots of patience and love. If he wasn’t diagnosed with odd my advice would be completely different. Try to get him aba therapy. Even a child his age could benefit… process of elimination. Good luck!
You need to speak to the counselor and/or an ODD specialist in order to figure out what is best for him. Not Facebook. ODD is not usually lightly diagnosed.
Sounds like its time to explore medication if you havent already.
I would see about a Psychological Educational Evaluation. Most psychologists can do this or your school district can do this. Your stepson may be experiencing learning problems because of his ADHD. So often kids with ADHD do have difficulty & end up with an ODD diagnosis because they don’t have the language to explain their struggle, so they explain with a big fat No, door slam, I hate school, was that my homework that just went out the bus window?
An evaluation can be a great tool, providing information about how your stepson learns.
Some of the things he is being taught at this moment just might be difficult for him. He & those helping him need to learn how to motivate & help him cope with his daily struggles.
Take his door off, unplug your TV when you are not watching it, ground him, see if you can get a second opinion
Try reading “Raising Your Spirited Child.” Praise and positive reinforcement for all the good behaviors, even small ones. He is getting his attention through negative behavior. I have similar issue with my daughter, and while it’s a struggle, I believe we will be successful.
Wup his rear so hard he cant set down for a few weeks he will do what you say then I no I raised 7 kids and they still respect me and dont talk back
If you’ve tried everything else he needs medication. Luckily our daughter’s ODD isn’t too bad but we do have a game plan if it progresses gor whatever reason.
My friend takes her son to a counselor every week and it’s made an improvement. He was diagnosed adhd and is medicated. They’ve also removed as much sugar as possible from their diet and red dye 40. They’re also testing for dyslexia. Maybe he doesn’t want to do homework because he has undiagnosed learning disorders?
Have you tried knocking the shit out of him.worked for my parents
Ant no such thing as odd you are one of those parents who kiss his butt one day he will kick yours
If hes not on medication, you may want to try it. If he is medicated, you may need to adjust it or try a different one. Hopefully you are going to a psychiatrist and not a PCP for this. Pcp’s have no clue when it comes to mental health.
Im sorry maybe medicate but could it be you dont always stick to your words on punishment etc!?! Because once they catch on it gets far far worse. Also he is already the age that he will play you, drs anyone with what they want to hear. I always wonder in these cases which kids just need a good discipline and a parent to stick and mean what they say or actually need medicated. But definitely seek a drs/therapists help!
You need to seek a behavioral therapist. Medication may be needed to help him. Reach out to some of the ADHD groups here on Facebook. They may be able to better assist you advice wise.
I have not read the other comments. But start by getting him an IEP at school. That way they will work with him and it takes the pressure off of you. If needed they will pay for him to be in a private school for kids with behavior issues. Teachers in those schools are specially trained to deal with kids with those kinds of issues. I feel for you, I’ve been through it an it is so hard.
On medication? If not I would suggest that.
My son was the same way. We had to home school him after kindergarten because we were getting calls every single day. The thing that worked best for us was sticking to a very strict schedule. I mean we made it down to the minute 20 minute increments of school work with play breaks in between so he knew it wouldn’t be long before he got to play. It took a long time and a lot of patience. We still have minor issues but he has worked his way back into the school system and is thriving now. We still get notes about his fidgeting and talking but we pick our battles. He is now an honor roll student so if a little excessive talking is the worst we can deal with that. Be super consistent with your schedule and punishments. Allow frequent break times in your schedule and reward good behavior consistently just as you would punishing bad behavior.
My son has the exact same. We now have him on resperidone to help with the ODD aspect. He is on other meds for adhd as well.
There are mental health services for kiddos that have the same behaviors. I work in family based therapy (similar to mobile therapy). He might benefit from a TSS as well as medication. Also at school, even homeschool (I believe) can get an IEP for him which helps identify behavioral and emotional struggles with school and the school work.
Just by your wording u seem soft and he can see that!
No offense but he needs to go to boot camp. Obviously he is disrespecting your rules and is not listening to you.I think he may need a more authoritative figure in his life my sister was the same way and actually left school when she was in the eighth grade and refused to go back my mom had to send her to a girls ranch because nothing my mother did seemed to help her. My sister tells us that it was the best thing my mom ever did for her.
I sure wouldn’t take him shopping with me anymore to start…
Oh hell no. I could not have survived 12 without my sons special ed team, ABA staff and therapist as well as my ex husband sitting on him every night to do his work. Please consider finding a school that has the staff he needs. He needs you to have the energy to provide him a safe place to land at home. Being him is hard right now.
Take the cord to his tv and if he plays video games take the controller. Take it to work with you so you know he can’t find it. Stop taking him to the store. It will be an inconvenience but children like that turn into adults like that. Tough love is your only option now. He’ll tell you he hates you and probably other things but ehen he is grown he will thank you. Also maybe a summer camp thatbis structured. I also think he needs to go to public school with a TSS. Life is not catered to him. No offense, but you are allowing this. My child would not have a door and would lay in that room bored if he refused to do chores and things. Everything fun in his life needs to be gone. You are enabling him and he’s going down a terrible path that will end him up in jail later on or worse.
My son also has add, adhd, and odd. He is the exact same way and is also home schooled. And the first thing is consistency you have to stay consistent. Do not give in to him. My son is almost 14 now and has gotten alot better. Get him into seeing a psychiatrist also if he isnt already. And also call the police. That is really what turned my son around is when we finally called the police and pressed charges on him and he went to the juvenile jail overnight. And he got to experience the jail scene. We also have called police and had him taken to the hospital for a psych evaluation. Unless you are consistent with him nothing will work he will never believe your threats or consequences if you dont follow through. So, consistency is key with a child with diagnosis like that. And if he isnt on medication you may try that. Because my son is on adderall, depression pill, and an anger pill and it helps tremendously ! Hes a completely different child on his meds.
Have you tried using electronic devices as a reward for doing schoolwork? Like 30 minutes of schoolwork equals 30 minutes of tablet time. When he does the schoolwork, then he gets his tablet immediately after with a timer set and when the timer goes off then he has to give the tablet back.
My 17 year old son has the exact same diagnoses and it’s hard. My son is medicated for adhd and anxiety which helps a lot. Unfortunately with ODD there’s no medication and it’s basically a thing where it’s gonna be hard until they mature more. Have you tried therapy? My son sees a psychiatrist which has been helping and I also have him in anger management so that he can’t learn other ways to deal with his anger besides throwing things and kicking things which he does when he’s mad. Just try and remember that these kids didn’t ask to be born with these issues and it’s all new to them also and it’s takes a lot of patience to deal with the issues. My son is in regular school and yes he does get into trouble and have been suspended 6 times this year but thankfully he’s only got 2 weeks of school left then he’s doing Co op so he will get hands on training in a trade. My son is on grade 12 so he’s graduating this year. Just try and be calm when dealing with your step son because when they are mad and upset and then he start getting mad and frustrated then it makes the problems 100 times worse. Try and work on things when everyone involved is calm because it will make things a lot easier. Make sure your step son knows what’s expected of him each day as always praise him when he has a good day because they need to see that we are happy when they make the right choice and they do what they are expected to do.
We have a co-op /alternate school where I live. They learn mechanics, fork lift, cement, practical hands on stuff that makes sense. Sometime’s it’s all about where the kids fit in. I am in envy that this wan’t availlable when I was growing up.
Behavioral problems or not, this is NO excuse. He is old enough to know right from wrong. Tell him if he dont wanna do school, to go get a job and pay his way.
No offense but most everyone that has responded is Caucasian. Hispanic moms don’t put up with that behavior #beatthata$$
First, wash his mouth out with soap for using that kind of language. Second take all the power cords off of ALL the electronics. Third if he still refuses, start tossing toys. If that doesn’t work, take everything out of his room and leave only the mattress and blanket on the floor. And that’s all he gets until he does it. Once hes caught up slowly start giving stuff back for good behavior.
Sounds like my son. I make or try to make learning fun for him. He could be a KVA kind of kid. My boy tried everything and I keep refusing even if he threw a fit. I joined him once in superstore. Gotta make him do what is needed for him to live. The world is a cruel life that won’t pamper you. Set hard limits for foul language. Taking away video games is fine, but replace it with something else. Keep in mind that I am STILL winging this parent hood thing. I have tried him on si many different kinds of meds since he started school. Vyvanse was the latest. I say “was” because he is not taking any meds what so ever. Didn’t seem to help after a while, a change in diet helped though. My father, mother, son and myself have gone almost completely vegan. And yes, noticed a change in him and myself. Now…as upsetting to have a ADHD child, don’t treat his condition as a problem…it’s actually a gift that needs to be nurtured and expanded. He’ll be successful later in life with whatever you grow with him. Seems he likes to use his hands…go with it.
Odd is all about anxiety and power struggles. Reiterate on a daily basis that it is his choice how he behaves. He can choose to do his schoolwork and then have free time with his electronics, or he can choose to sit around and stare at a wall. He can choose to do his chores and maybe earn a small allowance, or he can refuse and not be allowed to go to the store next time you go. He can choose to clean his room, or he can choose to stay home next time his friends want him to hang out. He can choose to be respectful or he can choose to be sent to his room. Give him more options and less demands. Make sure that he always understands that he is the one making the choice. It’s a long hard road, and people without experience with children with ODD will not understand. But it should get better with time.
Have you considered having him sleep outside one or two nights this winter? You can sleep inside where you can see him (inside the sliding glass doors?), or in a tent near by with a space heater running for you, while he gets a blanket and a winter coat and a back pack as a pillow out in the open air. Ask him in the morning if school is more or less ‘stupid af’ than sleeping outside in winter, because that’s where he will end up if he can’t get on board with doing work and living by society’s rules. And you can always lock him out if he thinks he’s too good to stay outside. Just a thought, though. You have to get creative sometimes. Lord knows I do.
It might help to make a chart with a list of chores and what he would earn if he does them. For example: clean your room-earn 30mins of game time. Don’t let anything be free. If he doesn’t do the chores no special privileges should be given. No unearned access to tv, video games or electronic devices. These things should be on a strictly earn-as-you-go basis. The most important thing is to be consistent. You could also substitute money as a reward. Good luck!
Perhaps you should reconsider putting him back into school. The structure and routine would be beneficial to him. Also, if he is on a EIP, perhaps he could get and aide?
Send him to a boot camp or IP mental health program. Sometimes their very own parents can be the trigger
Try hand on learning. Have him build a doghouse , birdhouse, then have him make his own garden, take him on day outings for more educational stuff. He want even know he’s learning. Not all kids are college bound. Plumbers make really good money
He needs basic reading and math to be a success. And I know men that never learned to read but provided well. Cause they knew how to use their hands. Think outside the box, he’s not a regular kid, he’s probably a little difficult, but he is reachable just not the regular way. Wishing u both alll the best.
Models are great toys for learning. Give him a lawnmower engine tell him he can tinker with it. Let him take it apart and challenge him to try to put back together no down talk no frustrations just except he isn’t gonna be what we like to call normal. Help him find his way as he is help him learn to use his unpleasants as a postive for learning different.
Yes if not already medicated, I would really suggest trying that.
Have you had him tested for autism? My step son was having similar behaviors and we had him tested and hes on the spectrum. Hes now on medication for it and other behavioral issues. Things are perfect but better than they were
I’m not a 100% advocate for medication, however, when all other avenues have been exhausted, sometimes they are a life saver, not for the parents, but for the child. Doesnt have to be a stimulant, they have non stimulates also. My son is ADHD and odd, plus anxiety. He is medicated due to exhausting other efforts and him wanting to die bc he couldn’t help being “bad”. 
It’s good that he’s in counseling. It’s not always appropriate for children to be medicated, but it could be helpful.
Maybe a sport he can learn self control , football or karate . He gets his time to shine for good behavior.
Have you tried asking this question in a ODD group, the groups are really helpful. I have an ODD child myself.
Sports definitely. But I will tell you and Chuck one time of me throwing a fit in the grocery store and my kids never threw a fit again
It sounds alot like there’s some behavioral issues that need to be addressed through counseling. Sounds like he may sometime choose when to throw a fit. . I just wouldn’t jump straight to medicating this boy.
You need to set clear boundaries and stick to them. My sons asd, adhd and odd. My son struggled so much at school, literally couldn’t even be in the classroom at all for 3 months. Looking back at it now I don’t know why any of us expected he should be able to just sit and focus considering his diagnosis. Medication has got him in the classroom for full days and taking in information much better, he can actually sit and listen. He still has movement breaks etc but such a big improvement. By the time he’s home the meds have worn off so it’s back to his normal craziness. He only gets screen time if he has had good behavior at school, that is timed, then it’s on to other activities until dinner. Activities that promote deep breathing and muscle stimulation help, like blowing bubbles, blowing up balloons, yoga, massage and the list goes on, if he’s in therapy they give loads of info on good activities. If he can’t follow instructions or listen within a reasonable amount of time or becomes overly aggressive after his screen time is over then he loses it the following day.
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I think tight now your doing the best I can…I would have him tested for food allergies plus I would try a reward system say he has to get caught up on all his work then reward him with a day trip to a zoo or national park or a fun park or where ever he might want to go…he wants something specific from the store he has to do all his work for a week…also remind him constantly u love him no matter what & family time also helps. Plus encourage him to go outside & play to get rid of some of the extra energy
My son 10 has intellectual disability, adhd, odd and mood deregulation. We had to move him to a special school that specializes in kids with these behaviors. It took us fighting with the school district for 2 years. He’s doing so much better!
Sports, exercise… maybe dad needs to be more involved dealing with the bad behavior .
Is he on medication? We had a second psychologist evaluate my son late last year and she determined that he did not have ODD but she said his IQ was high and he ranked in the 129th percentile. Basically he is too smart for his own good. We reevaluated his IEP at school to work with him and it has helped a lot. We basically have a few more chances built in but he knows that he is responsible for his own actions and knows what the consequences are. Structure is a huge part of this plan. She also suggested it was time for medication to help him uncloud his mind and help him focus. We fought for 3 years to avoid medication but we decided it was time. We have him on the lowest dose and the nice thing is we can skip days if needed so he doesn’t always take it during the weekends. The teachers have noticed a huge improvement in his behavior and he is doing better with other kids. At first he didn’t notice a difference but now he can tell. Today for example he knew he was getting hyper and driving his brother nuts this morning so when it was time for breakfast he told me it’s probably best I take my medicine today I feel really hyper and I don’t want to. Currently he is sitting on the couch playing on his laptop and has had a really good day.
Stay firm. “Tough love” is some you should look into.
Reward system? I would probably keep the goal short and obtainable. Also I’d start with one behavior at a time you want to correct. Maybe every 2 days of no outbursts a reward is received. I would have him choose his own reward as well. Maybe if he feels involved he might be more invested in making some changes. Also, if he slips a bit give him the opportunity to correct before removing the reward.
Sounds like my son who has ASD. I have racked up almost as many referrals as the days he was in school, since we moved here the week before Thanksgiving. We have a 504 plan with the school, but I am fighting for an IEP. School sucks for him most days, but soccer, boy scouts, and horseback riding are things I’m hoping to show him a more positive outlook.
Have you tried finding the factory reset button
Treat him like a 3 year old because that’s how he is acting. Don’t allow him to go anywhere until he behaves and does the things you ask. Take turns staying home with him and stay committed to it. He will learn although it could take months.
Regarding the homeschooling, set very strict boundaries. No matter how much he kicks off if he refuses to do work then he gets absolutely nothing. I do this with my son. He knows he can do what he likes until I’m ready to do work with him then when I say it’s work time he knows I mean it. What’s your structure with homeschooling? How much do you try to do in a day or at a time? Sometimes changing this can be a huge help xx
In the store, when he does this, drop everything you are doing and leave. Enforce you WILL NOT put up with his behavior. I know it will inconvenience you but do not reward him or let him carry on. He needs to learn respect. There is no excuse for him to be so behind on schoolwork. Make him do it. If he retreats to where the tv is, remove it and other electronics from those spaces. Unplug everything. Install lock on your bedroom so he can’t go in when he insists. He’s old enough to know better. He’s doing this because he can. Discipline.
Try occupational therapy and look into TBRI
My son is exactly like this and we recently found out that he has Autism Spectrum Disorder as well as ADHD. He’s only 7, but this is him to a T! He’s got the biggest heart in the world and is a joyful kid, but when it comes time to focus on something he has no interest in, it’s like his world goes into self destruct mode
Following because my 13-year-old daughter is exactly what you described your stepson! I’m at the end with my mind school has had it I can’t do anything so I am following for advice also.
My 8 year old sounds so much like this. He too has adhd, add, odd, sensory disorder, transitional disorder, anxiety, depression, and possibly dyslexia… school is very frustrating for him and I have to keep on top of him like no other. I know it’s frustrating but I quite literally pick and choose my battles, and most of the time I literally have to hold his hand when doing activities and school work. Routine is the best way to handle my son, making sure hes not over stimulated and rewarding him for tasks completed, while sticking to consequences for bad behavior and unfinished work. Quite literally there isnt much wiggle room at all, but once you find a routine that works for him stick with it. I did however choose to put my son on medicine during the process of figuring all this out just to see if it would help. It did for a time being and weve had to switch the dosage and brand once but over all now that we are set in a routine and he has assistance from the medicine, a couselor, and an iep in school things are starting to look up. Dont give up it’s all about finding out what works best for you child.
Be very strict. I may get some shit for this but I used to make my son write words and the definition from the dictionary multiple times that pertained to what he did wrong, followed by a discussion when everyone is calmed down. My view was that if he understood what his triggers were and that there were consequences he would be better equipped to notice when he is being triggered and what, and when, to do to correct himself. He won’t be with u forever, he has to be able to deal with it as an adult. Find something that helps him. Something that helps him deal with it. My son is 25 now. He is able to deal with it and knows how to deal with his triggers
You are enforcing the work to much try making it fun like helping with chores and counting ect, x
I was that child , one special ed teacher got me in school work program, only reason I think I made it this far
My now 20 year old has odd and add. My ex and I stopped all red and purple food dye, we also gave him a time limit. For example " Chris, we are having company later could you plz (insert chore here) within the next (insert time frame here)." It was a struggle at first, but once he realized he had some control, things got easier.
Good luck mama, and if you need to. Feel free to PM.
I was wondering the same thing, is he on medication? It took me a couple years to face the truth that my son needed to be in medication for ADHD, took a few medication to get the right dose, but he is doing so great and doesn’t fly off the handle at things anymore. (Don’t get me wrong he can still have an attitude) don’t all teenagers 
. But medication may be necessary for all involved.
I dont understand americans with yalls adhd and add and whatever else. You say he is a good kid until he has to do chores and homework? Sounds to me like he needs some good ass whooping and yall need to stop letting a grown ass child throw fits. Slamming doors? Punching walls? Hell no that aint to damn adhd some a spoiled brat.
Hide the remotes and don’t give in.
You do x amount of time of homework then you get one TV show.
My child has odd and adhd and is 10. I wish I had advice for you but this sounds exactly like my child. I feel you mama 
Our counselor suggested having a list of 3-4 not overly difficult things he needed to do before he was allowed any screen time each day.
Ie, getting self up and ready/teeth brushed/hair brushed/etc would be one thing, schoolwork another, either clean room/put away laundry/take out trash etc depending on the day and need for the third.
If he has an outburst about doing any of those tasks, he gets no screen time that day. He starts fresh and tries again the next day.
It has honestly made a big difference so far.
My childrens counseler recommend 1-2-3- magic discipline regimin. It made a difference, albeit sounded dumb at th time, but decades later i still think it worked, we just waited to long to start to impliment it.
Following! This sounds like my 10yo step daughter. She’s just moved in with us full time cos her mum can’t handle her
Depending on the age make him get a job and pay some money on bills… He will be begging to be a kid and doing his school work within a month…he wont like being an adult more than we do. .
We found that taking away doesn’t work but having to earn time does to some extent. Zach lost Tv, phone and video games. The things became property of the house that he could earn time to use them through chores and school work in 5 or 10 minute increments. You have to keep very close track for it to work.
Have u talked to his counselor with AND without him?? Tht be a good place to start
My son is adhd spd and deaf he seriously nerds to have breaks during class sitting to long he will just refuse to do work he also likes spending money on crap he simply gets told no or he needs Todo jobs to earn it would set up a chore chart visual is very important for them U can walk them to your blue in the face they don’t get it
My son was diagnosed at the age of 5… when he started school it was horrible…broke computer monitors…hit teachers got arrested…the hole 9 yards…yes he got his butt whooped…he was put on meds continued school even though he hated it…we jus took him off meds and put him on cbd oil…he is striving and doing amazing…he getting his first student of the month award Wednesday…stick to your guys maybe try medication or cbd oil
I know you said he is in counseling have you tried a behavioral specialist
Is he on medication,is he seeing a therapist? All these things help,along with other things that can be put in place. A in home behavior specialist.