How to be confident in my body?

I am a 31 year old woman with two girls age 8 and 4 since i was a young girl i had been underweight before my daughter was born i picked up some weight and was looking healthy and happy but straight after her birth i loss all the weight this by doing nothing i eat well and been to doctors but just cant gain weight i have tried everything i just would like to look like a healthy mummy my daughter can see that i am not happy in my skin and it kills me as i want her and her sisters to grow up knowing they should be confident please any suggestions will help

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to be confident in my body?

It sounds like you have a fast metabolism. My husband grandmother can eat and eat and never gains weight. She is 90 yrs old and weights 90 pounds but she is healthy as a horse besides high cholesterol.

Junk food always helps to gain

Consult a nutritionist on how to do this the healthy way . If your thin but healthy this is ok as well nothing to be ashamed of some people’s metabolism is just faster than others . As long as your healthy your girl will see this . Also speaking to a therapist can also help your stress may also be a factor .


My partner is the same he hasnt got sn ounce of body fat and eats like a horse, some people are naturally like that, its just fast metabolism not a bad thing dont eat junk just to put on weight you dont want to make yourself unhealthy :heart:

I had this problem until I got my tubes tied :confused:

They have shakes that are proven to work. I can’t exactly remember what they’re called but they’re $5 for 6 pack and they sell them at Walmart by the slimfast smoothies and protein shakes

I’m in the same boat as you . I’ve always been under weight . I’ve had 4 kids and each time I lost all the weight in a matter of 2 months or so. I struggle daily with this behind closed door I hate it . But always remember there going to be bad and good days . Mine personally is stress and anxiety. And I can’t stand when people look at me and say well u should eat more like no shit thanks but ur comments don’t help they make it worse or assume I’m on drugs or that I throw up my food :roll_eyes:. Me I hold in alot of anxiety both with my kids, marriage issues and other things . But ur not alone and always remember u r beautiful and worth it no matter what shape ur body is :heart:

I need help with this as well. Wish I could give advice.

I found acceptance is the key. You are healthy and you eat well which is already a great example to your kids. I am on the opposite end of the scale, I am overweight and no matter what I do, I cannot lose this weight. I exercise and eat well but nothing works, it’s kind of like my body has said to me, “this is as good as you are going to get” and that’s ok because I have just accepted it now. Placing myself in that negative mind set would do more damage than good for my children to see. Good luck

I believe their are some vitamins that’s provoke hunger. Go to vitamin world or some place where they sell natural stuff and vitamins and ask them. I know in my island there was a medicine that my sister used to give to her son when little and he gain weight but I don’t know the name :disappointed:

My husband couldn’t gain weight until we started him on the bulk up whey protein shakes 2xs a day and lots of carbs and he gained 20 pounds and said he felt much better but he had to keep it up to keep the weight. It kinda plateaued at the 20 pds.

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Have you checked your hormones, your thyroid? Most of the time thyroid does that


Its crazy you’re unhappy with being thin and I’m very unhappy being overweight. I’ve bariatric surgery and a revision bariatric surgery with my first one I was very successful I went from 236 pounds to 120 pounds and I thought this awesome however my surgery was the gastric lapband and the whole time I was constantly sick puking, in the first 6 months my appendix ruptured so I had to go thru surgery and have it removed so that happened then I healed from that but through that I was in liquids so there was no puking because I had no solids so I was never sick but once I was good and got the ok to go on solids being constantly being sick began again so the force from puking and the contant contraction my stomact had to make when puking it contribute to my gastric lapband to slip so they had to go in as an emergency surgery to reposition the lapband and I was told that the reason I lost all my weight was not because the surgery itself was effective it was because I was mainly ill because from day on it was not place on the correct spot so wherever the put it after the slippage instead of losing or atleast maintaining the current weight I was gaining weight, infact I regained all my weight back and I was devastated so I went to a different bariatric doctor whom put in for a revision and converted my lapband into a gastric bypass and I went from 236 to 170 to 180 I yo-yo between 170 and 180 I moved counties and was forced to switch doctors and they put the lapband on despite my history with it and eventually I had 2 obstructions on the 2nd on it somehow had turn around my stomach so they took it out because it was just causing me problems than any good benefits and said there was nothing else they could do for me I asked if there was a nutritionist they could send me to, to atleast me and teach how to count my calorie intake because I don’t know how to do that and they said no which kind of shocked me because my bariatric doctors before did it was actually the first thing they was send you to their nutritionist 🤷 so I struggle with my eating portions. So anyways counseling, nutritionist and weight training because you want to gain weight not lose weight.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to be confident in my body?

Following same problem

I used to have the same problem after 2 kids … a year ago I went in the depo shot and I gained 30 pounds

Every day look in the mirror and focus on 1 thing you like about yourself. The more you focus on the things you like about yourself, you’ll find you’ll like more. For example my favorite feature are my eye brows. What’s your favourite feature?

My issue is that I never gain weight, even during my pregnancy I only put less than a stone on but that resulted in an early birth and her being 5lb12oz. But I’m always judged as being under weight. People judge being over weight, under weight, too tall, short etc. It’s the person that matters be happy in your self your personality and most be a nice person. Must beautiful quality :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: anyone who judges doesn’t deserve you xx

I couldn’t gain a pound… later found out it was due to my thyroid. It’s apparently, in the “norm” as a woman in late 20s-mid 30s to be diagnosed with some type of thyroid (autoimmune disease) problem. I don’t know if this will help. However, if your Dr’s haven’t did the blood work to check your “levels”, you might ask them too.

This is heartbreaking, I’ve always been abit overweight so I’m not going through the same thing but I can relate alot on negative body image. I chose acceptance over happiness. Self love is something that should be taught young as it’s so hard to gain mid way through life. I just learnt to accept my faults, the good bad and ugly. I have alot to offer the world, you do too. We all do. Focus on what you love & what gives you little bursts of gratitude. Try not to force any unhealthy idolisation on yourself, just work on being the best version of yourself day in and day out. Weight shouldn’t matter, it’s just a caucus carrying your heart.

Have you tried getting your hormones tested?!

Same im 45 did the depo took it away at 35. They don’t have meds to gain weight but they have them to loose weight. Hmmmm I’ve even gone through menopause still nothing.

You could try working out, gaining muscle or toning up

Yes like Megan Diehl said. Working out lifting weights and eating a lot of protein. Ive heard contraception works too. The 3 month contraception injection makes me gain weight a lot and I’m already struggling with that issue.

I am 27 years old with two girls ages 3 and 1 I loved being pregnant because it was the only time I looked healthy. I struggle gaining weight and have since I was 14 I weight just less than 80 pounds. After I had my second baby I kept some of the weight on I was so proud. Then I got covid in dec 2020. Lost my smell and taste and still have not regained it back. Which in turn made me lose the extra weight I kept up. I drink my shakes twice a day and eat high cal food but nothing seems to work. I hate the questions I get asked. I just hope one day I’ll magically start gaining weight. Your not alone. Just keeping trying to do your best

Definetly get your hormones checked…

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Lotsa pasta bread and whole milk

Did they test your Thyroid?

Get yourself some decent vitamins , and get your bloods checked, start doing some weight training and eat more protein. I have always had a fast metabolism, and I only started to bulk up when I started light weight training. I’m 37, 2 kids and still a uk size 4. It’s hard work being small

Have you had bloods done? could it be your thyroid?I lost weight twice after my children and ended up having thyroid removed and have to eat twice as much as others. Hope you get it sorted.

These are so good.

Love yourself. Millions of women would like to have body like you instead of obese body (including myself). Eat healthy, excercise, wear nice clothing, show your daughter’s, that no matter the size you take care of your body, because you have only one and it needs to last for whole life.


Don’t worry I was skinny for years but once you stop running around after kids working etc the pounds soon creep on lol you’ll be looking for diets then :joy: good luck tho x

If no amount of eating and nourishment drinks can make you gain weight,then you should forget it and try to live a good life for your children…They will pick up on it and may give them issues of their own…Its who you are inside that counts…Not a figure perfect model…

You could have an overactive thyroid, or an intestinal parasite. Make sure your GP has checked for these.

I was always a healthy weight and a little more until I went through menopause early I was 38 now I can’t gain weight I’m so thin I look sick had all the tests I’m still clueless?

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to be confident in my body?

Try the glutten free food you could be a coealic


I am experiencing the same thing. Ask you doctor for blood work to rule out imbalances, deficiencies and food intolerance. I actually did a kit from Amazon for 60 bucks and found out I’m allergic to corn. I also drink protein shakes with one meal each day. Boost is expensive but it helps. I hope you get some answers.


I am the same way. The only time I can put weight on is when I was pregnant. I have tried everything out there with the help of doctors, dietitians, counseling you name it. Nothing works to keep weight on. I know how hard it is I have learned to try to love myself the way I am. Hugs

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You could have celiac disease, ibs, metabolic disorders etc that’s causing you this issue. To rule things such as these out you need see your doctor about this issue and have labs done.

In the meantime try high protein shakes, bars and a well balanced meal. To see if that helps you gain weight.

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Nutrition specialist

A Bad thyroid cause that to

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I would have your thyroid check.


Drink 3 boosts a day…and go get thoroughly check out by a good dr or drs.

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Get bloodwork done BUT if everything is fine, the best way to teach your kids to love themselves is to love YOURself. Skinny, fat, curvy, straight, pale, dark, whatever it is. After my kids, I was skinny with NO curves. I run with it the best I can because that’s what I got and I want my kids to know that no body is perfect. You can go to the gym and add muscle weight. You can still love yourself and your body while you’re making changes :blue_heart:

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I was skinny when in my younger days. Was fat for about 10yrs. Didn’t do anything and my whole metabolism changed back to when I was young. Went from a size 14 to a size 4. I’ve put a couple lbs back on but I still look like a walking skeleton. I hate it honestly.

Go to a gym and get a consult . In my case I have a very high metabolism and always been super skinny and flat chested . So flat to the point I tell people I only have nips .
Thé gym can help you slow down your metabolism :ok_hand:

Maybe lift weights and get counseling to learn to love yourself the way you are. Apparently your kids & their father love you for yourself, why not you too? If you’re tall, look into modeling. If not, take advantage of all the tiny size fabulous clothes at thrift & designer (thrift & regular) stores. You’re probably a sample size.

No boobs? You can go w/o a bra & wear low cut & backless outfits, sexy/strappy lingerie, cut out & more things with no worries. I have big boobs & have to wear sturdy bras that cost a lot (and only come in white, nude, & maybe black if I’m lucky), so can only wear modest clothes. You can wear pouffy and tiered skirts, lots of layers, puffy sleeves, blouson, elaborate collars, horizontal stripes, busy patterns, maxi dresses can all provide the illusion of girth.

You can always get Wonderbras, padded bras or bra inserts and padded panties to give you more on top or bottom. Or get boob/fat implants if you think it’s worth the risks.

Get with your doctor and make sure medically you’re ok. If you’re eating healthy and living a healthy lifestyle then that’s what matters the most. Maybe for now your metabolism is higher. Try therapy as well so you can learn to be accepting of yourself as you are. Maybe get into the gym and see if there’s a way to pack on muscle to bulk up.


My MIL had that problem and drinking Boost with her meals as the drink helped her to gain the weight she needed.

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A friend of mine had that problem turned or she had a parasite issue. She gained weight after getting rid of the parasites. Doctors don’t check for parasites like they should.

I would get your thyroid checked.I have the same problem.My thyroid is all screwed up.I’m 37 yo and I weigh less then what I did in my teen years.I’m 96.7 pounds according to my scale.

Inbox me. I will show u how to use Herbalife nutrition to gain weight the health way. Or follow me On [email protected]


Maybe u will start gaining. I was always under weight lucky to reach 95lbs even after 5 pregnancies. But after 32 I started to gain. I’ll be 34 in a few weeks and weighing over 105lbs up 4 pant sizes. I look healthy now. I’m hoping it will be the same for you hun. I use to eat anything and everything and couldn’t gain.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to be confident in my body?

I was like that when I had my children. It took me a minute to embrace size. If your doctor hasn’t told you that you are underweight, don’t stress out about it. I’m thin and didn’t start to gain till I made 45. I might be genetic as in my case, my father was slim so that’s where I got it from.


I babysit for a family years ago, every pregnancy she had her Metabolism sped up. She was size 2 after her 3rd, when she got pregnant with her 1sr she was more like a 10-12.

Sweet just accept yourself, I was the polar opposite to you but I just decided I needed to live and love myself after my kids. Now I’m just living and trying to get healthy with my life.


I ask to have my thyroid checked and for a referral to an endocrine specialist as well as a dietian. I grew up with a slim frame but as an athlete I had muscle. I found out in my later years ( about 8-9 years ago) I had subclinical hyperthyroidism. Which is not all but some diagnosing symptoms as hyperthyroidism.

Good spirit!


I would have my thyroid checked just to be sure it was OK. Thyroid regulates alot of stuff in the body.

I would not worry about it bc I went through that same thing and it will all change when you get older

Go to your doctor and ask how you can safely gain a proper weight

Ask for thyroid to be checked. Good luck


We all have different body types and as long as you maintain proper eating habits and exercise routinely you can actually get your body type to fit your desired results. Muscle building is extremely important for smaller framed women. It will help you prevent osteoporosis and enable you to feel better about your physical appearance.
The secret is to love the body you are in, treat it with compassion and take care of all aspects of your body from your mental, emotional, spiritual and physical needs. You can make the most of your situation and present a healthy outlook for your daughter by example.


Have tried giving up Dairy??

More carbs less protein and fat…about 2000 calories a day…3 meals 3 snacks a day

Had the same problem for 36 years. Doctor checked my thyroid, I have an over active thyroid. Ask your doc about it.

Totally agree with above…have your thyroid checked!

You can teach them to love who they are regardless of what they look like. You can teach them by modeling a love for yourself always. Perhaps try focusing on what you body is and does for you daily. Like allow you to be present for and with your daughters. Instead of focusing on what it isn’t.

Do you drink/pee a lot?

Has your doctor checked your thyroid? You may have an over active thyroid. It’s a simple blood test.

Try working out and eating higher protein diets

I’m 37. I have 4 kids. Eldest is 20, youngest is 10. I’ve maintained a 140 for the past 8-9 years. I’m 5’2. Just in the past few months I’ve gone from 145 to 119. I cannot figure it out. Been to Dr several times. They say they can’t find any issues. I feel like people look at me like a crackhead. What’s worse is now I have some saggy skin on my arms and belly now. I eat like crazy all of the time. I’ve had a partial hysterectomy so not sure if that has anything to do with it. I feel you and I understand your confidence issues. I’m still looking for an answer. I hope you find one too.

Just wait. I was the same all my life. I was 89 lbs in high school and 99 lbs as an adult. I went up to 120 when I was pregnant. Right after I had both of my kids I went right back to 99 lbs. it wasn’t till in my mid 30’s I guess my metabolism slowed down. I’m now 41 and I’m at 164. I feel good but I’d like to have a smaller belly. I guess we just can’t have it all though lol.

If you have no health problems causing that I’d say invest in boost drinks drink one three times a day with meals and you’ll gain well only thing that helped me

Ask for a thyroid blood test

Remeron is an antidepressant that helps you sleep at night and put weight on. I’ve been on it for years. Maybe talk to your doctor and ask for a depression screen?

Stop worrying about all that just be a good mommy and let it go with that if you’re healthy don’t worry about what it looks like

I have always had this issue. I have 3 kids and until a couple months ago was always super under weight.

Get your thyroid checked first off. And if that’s all good and there’s no other possible medical issues then just up your calories and eat loads of carbs.
If you can’t gain still just remember that the body you have is beautiful and amazing. It’s hard most days trust me I know but you got this. You’ve got little ones who are looking up to you now

There really needs to be more information on this post. Only a doctor can determine if you are under weight. All these post telling you what to eat can be harmful. See your doctor to pull a metabolic panel. Have all your hormone levels checked to include progesterone, testosterone estrogen Estradiol and DHEA. You need a full thyroid panel

You need to have your thyroid checked with blood work♥️

You need to talk to your Dr. Let the Dr run tests to see if you have any underlying issue. Then work from there. Maybe a dietician is next. Good luck

Have you been tested for Celiac disease. My daughter had the same problem

Get your thyroid checked

I have also always been bothered by my weight. People said “have kids”, I had 2 singletons and a set of twins and still skinny as a rail. It’s just how it is for some people. I hate it too, but it’s who we are. Sorry, no advice.

Get your Thyroid check

Ensure drinks can help add extra calories you need. You may just have a high metabolism and need more calories to not only gain weight but keep it stable

Being confident in your body is nothing somebody can tell you to do, it’s all on you but I understand because I used to be thin and had 2 sons and have gained weight but I’m pretty tall so I feel fine.

Inability to gain weight is a symptom of vitamin B12 Deficiency. It can be due to other things, but I’d start there first. Best wishes. x

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I have 7 children ages 12-32. I weighed 90lbs before I got pregnant and left the hospital with each baby still below 100lbs. I’ve tried EVERYTHING. The Dr’s said I should just feel blessed.
Always hated my body. I’m now 51 and in less than a year I went up to 125lbs!!!
I’ve never worked out, never drank and never did any drugs but still stayed too skinny.
I honestly think my age helped me in finally gaining weight.
I wish I had answers.

Billions of people in this world which one is the perfect one. It could be yours.

Try being with people who makes you comfortable with being who you are and love you the way you look

I have been under weight when I was young and I hated it but looking back I was more attractive than now A size 16 just try to dress attractively and be thankful that you can wear any thing.And try not to rush every where.

I always fluctuated i was on physch meds for a long time. I gained massive weight from them I was pre pregnant 250 standing 5ft on the dot.
Post pregnant I was 180. But then 6 months after I dropped weight like mad I hate it but I also know small petite women do run in my family and I haven’t eaten candy bar or ice cream in 6 years. Plus I haven’t touched a soda in 7 months either. My child is also very hyper severe ADHD me getting a sit isn’t much or long

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If there are no health issues, Then you ARE A HEALTHY MOMMY. Size doesn’t determine that. Some people (like myself) just can’t gain weight. That doesn’t mean you aren’t healthy and you can be happy.


I have always had the opposite problem but I will say this.If you haven’t kept a food diary of what you eat do it.Myfitnesspal is free and logging what I eat daily shocked me.I figured I was eating way less calories and carbs and I was way wrong.You may think you’re eating more than you actually are.I reccomend doing it to get a good idea of what’s actually going in your body before you worry about blood work.Women tend to put focus on their baby and eat when pregnant but go back to tiny meals once baby is born.If you are not eating 2000 calories a day you probably won’t be gaining and filling out.One final thing is your weight doesn’t define your beauty and worth so don’t let it define your confidence either.You sound like a wonderful mom to your girls so just continue showing them how to love themselves no matter what the outside looks like and they will grow to be just as amazing as their mommy.Best of luck :slight_smile: