Pick up the phone and call your attorney if you have questions and concerns. Don’t ask Facebook. If you defy the court order that is contempt of court and can open doors to him gaining full custody. Also have some faith that her father will be responsible. P.S. Halloween and other holidays will continue to fall on weekdays till the time she turns 18 get used to it now and the next 18 years will be easier.
If he doesn’t do the responsible and right thing you gain the power to make adjustments to the court order. So do the right thing,let her go, and stop creating mountains out of mole hills for something that is almost 3 months away.
So, being late or not going to school Monday isn’t a sensible option ?
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She can sleep in the car on the drive home…
Doesn’t the father have any brains?
It’s his day. End of story.
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If it’s court ordered, you have to let him take her.
Holidays ALWAYS proceed weekend schedule too. He gets her Halloween, get over it.
Follow the court order to the letter. So she misses a day of school. She’s 4. Not a big deal. It’s not like she’s skipping her finals at Harvard.
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Sounds like two narcissistic parents playing with their daughters life to feel in control. Poor girl.
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Sounds like she might ignore all of this good advice from people and keep her daughter anyways, worsening her situation with court. It’s a very small battle and she should let it go.
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You haven’t even gave him a chance to mess up yet with the child, you seem controlling yourself… let it happen first, then see what happens next
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Your argument is not about the child’s wants, it is all about you.
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You signed off on the custody agreement. You didn’t have a problem then. Are you going to complain every time you don’t agree with the way things were worked out? You obviously didn’t looked at the holidays listed to well. All you can do is follow the custody agreement. Remind him that she has school and this is the time that she needs to be there. Its up to him to follow his end. If you want to change things then you need to contact your lawyer for a modification.
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I’m not really understanding. You wanted the parenting plan. Just because one holiday got added that you didn’t agree to, you can’t go against a court ordered agreement. If she misses a day of school, so be it. It’s just one day.
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It’s HIS day to have her. If she misses school because of it then you have cause for concern. Otherwise, stick with the court ruling.
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At the end of the day , a court order is a court order. If you don’t like what is ordered , then you need to take it back to court. Going against a judges ruling is contempt. Depending on your judge , contempt charges could end up with a custody change for parental alienation if it is a reoccurring issue. You all still have 14 years to coparent legally. Pick and choose your battles. Missing school at 4 years old isn’t that serious. PreK is an option for most kids. And even if she is by some chance in kindergarten, one day isn’t going to hurt. What will hurt is her being stuck in the middle of her parents petty disagreements. Love your children more than you dislike one another.
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Just to save the argument over a matter of roughly 12 hours in court, I would dismiss her for that 1 school day, citing that she is traveling back to town now from visiting a relative. The school may give u flack, but it really is the easiest way to get over a pretty small bump. Co-parenting with anyone means compromise. U have placed custody, take pitty and give him those few extra hours.
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Why has the judge allowed her to stay with him overnight on the Sunday? Wasn’t it put forward that she would be an hour away from school etc?
Let him deal with it
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If she’s 4 I’m assuming she’s in a Pre-K program? It’s pretty much daycare, if she gets to school fine, if not I wouldn’t stress. Her Dad does deserve to enjoy the time with her. And if you relax a little maybe he will be less of a prick, lol you never know. I would also say Halloween is definitely a holiday with kids, it’s our favorite !
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I’m not falling for her crap. She is the one who is displaying the narcissistic behavior and being a control freak. Its not about the child, its all about her and her sick want to control everything. If she keeps it up, she’s going to push her daughter away as she gets older.
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Sounds like you’re making a mountain 
outta a mole hill … And you sound a bit bitter that he has her for Halloween. Even if she is late to school or not well rested for school one day isn’t gonna hurt. Let that baby spend time with her father … Especially since he lives an hour away … 
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Facts over feelings when dealing with a narc. He has her on weekends so send her on the weekends. If he doesn’t get her to school on Mondays (on time and prepared), document it in email or text every week he does it. When you go back to court (notice I said when because you will), you’ll have all the ammo you need to have the parenting agreement changed. Stop giving him supply and let him dig his own grave. You just be ready with the shovel when your day in court comes.
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It’s his responsibility to get her to school on time when he has her. Make school aware that Dad will have her on this date, so if she’s not there for whatever reason, it’s him they need to contact. X
Relax about it… let the dad have her… its not the end of the world if she is late to school.or misses school…who knows maybe he will take her out early have her in bed and get her up and drive her to school the next morning…
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Him, follow the court order and next day just pick her up early from school. Solved! Without having to go to jail
It may cost you some money but you definitely should take it back to court to have specific times and it should already say in there that if it interferes with school schedules then it trumps that time frame
Halloween won’t always land where it interferes with school. Let her have this time. If she is late just call the school and explain. She’s so young that it isn’t going to make her look bad at all especially if it’s kindergarten and if she only goes half a day. I’m sorry if ex won’t bend however just relax and let daughter enjoy herself. At least dad is there for her. Many dad’s aren’t!
Document everything. He may surprise you. He probably won’t.
Always only look out for your daughter. Don’t start a problem if unnecessary but always be prepared when you need to fight for her.
I’m confused. The court order doesn’t trump school times. He will still have to have her at school on time the next day. She may be tired but that’s a lesson learned for her 
That’s where common sense should hit both you you
He is the father, its court ordered u need to let him be a father. There is always 2 sides to a story. He sounds like he wants to be part of the INNOCENT child’s life and u sound like you are making it hard for him.
You have to follow court orders or else he will have things to use against you.
If he gets her Friday to Sunday and Halloween is on a Sunday why can’t you both come up with a time for him to pick her up Friday and have her back Sunday night after they’re done?
If he dont take her to school on his time just shows jidge he isnt able to be responsible
I would have my lawyer have it fixed in court or he would have to pick her up from school and take her
Stop using the kids. This affects these kids lives.
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I have a court order in place. If you break it, and hes a d*ck, he could try and take you to court for breaching it. But you have the right to take it to court to ammend it as halloween in reg to school living far isnt really going to work
just let her sleep in & be late for school.
Omg you are a nagger. Let it go on that day. You must be selfish and manipulator and not any less than a so called narcissist.
PLOT TWIST: mom is actually the narcissistic one!!!
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Most school don’t even have school in session the day after Halloween anyway
She’s 4. She’ll not be going door to door after dark. That’s the rule in most places. An hour or 2 in the a0fternoon. Problem solved.
My heart breaks for you
We’re an hour apart and still get my step daughter for trick for treat. It’s not always a weekend either.
Dont think a late night will hurt Ur daughter,
His time like it it not
You literally cannot win with a narcissist…period
It’s fucking Halloween. Yes he is being a dick by not bringing her home afterwards but I’m pretty sure you’re being a bitch about this also. Go out have a drink or go to a party for Halloween. If the both of you stop being so difficult with each other and being so petty over small stuff your kid might grow up without any emotional issues cause the both of you sound petty and are using your daughter to nick pick at each other. Promise you this won’t be the first time your daughter goes to school with less sleep than she should have. She probably already is loosing sleep cause her parents are both so damn petty!
Halloween is only ounce a year so, don’t stress yourself. Let it be…
it’s not like we pick and choose the day when Halloween comes.just make special day for her and neighborhood little friends…
My 2 cents. Dad gets daughter Halloween. He returns daughter to school the next day. Late or on time to school doesn’t matter. Follow the order.
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Meet halfway! 30 minutes for each.
I think theres a book on this. Try amazon
Halloween is not a holiday
Wow…such pettiness. Your poor kid.
Just follow court orders, to save a lot of time and money!
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Abide by that order. Whatever it says, follow it.
Fb lawyers r no good ask a real lawyer
You have to follow the order of the court. You don’t get to change things just because you change your mind (and he’s the narcissist?)
It’s one day she will be ok
Follow what your orders say
The judge will side with the order
You need to check. Many places celebrate Halloween on a Sat before then, if it’s on a Sunday. Problem solved if so.
Glad I don’t have kids
Just let him have her. It’s his day
Chill out she’s four let her have a nice time with her dad
Make it work. Meet him halfway. Do pre halloween stuff with her day before etc. hell both take her out. Make it work. Keep it about HER
I don’t envy him dealing with you
Just because it’s Halloween doesn’t mean they’ll be out till midnight.
Chill ya beans once a year
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There are only so many Halloween’s in a young life. What’s more important? Some fun with her dad or a sleepy or missed day at school?
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This one day doesn’t seem like a big issue
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You have to request for modification for school
You have to follow what you have agreed to in court or you will get in trouble and it will make you look bad. Write down everything like if he doesn’t take her to school on Mondays…etc so you can take him to court and have proof as to why you need to modify the times for visitations. Give him a chance to show he can be on time and let your daughter have fun with her dad.
It’s her first year of school…she’s not missing anything.
Comply with the court order and go on with life!
Dude… she’s 4… even if she misses school the next day, would it really hurt anything?
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I would tell him he would be responsible for getting her to school that Monday.
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Uhh yes you do own your child, and I dare give that power away!
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For starters you say he is abusive! Why would he not have supervised visits? I had visitations set up to protect my kids and what was in their best interest. The better you and him get along the better life your kids will have. Best of luck.
Your really over thinking it. Let her miss a day of school. Time with dad is just as important as time with mom.
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I’m not sure who is the narcissist here. So what ur 4 yr old misses a day of school bc she went trick or treating with her father smh focus on something else and leave that man alone
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It’s one day. I would let it go. Show your daughter you can compromise.
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If you keep her, you are breaking court order. Send her with the things she needs for the next school day, let Dad know the time school starts and where to drop her off (if he doesn’t already know) and do your part. Keeping her would 100% put a mark against you and make it look like you’re trying to keep him out of his daughter’s life.
Document if she misses school, but beyond that, let her make those memories.
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Shes 4, its one day if she misses. Not a big deal. Suggest that he do a little coloring and maybe getting her started on writing her name. It’s basically what they do anyways.
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Let her go. Just let him know he needs to get her to school the next day.
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Sounds like to me u will have to go back to court and maybe do a time modification
Let her go and keep her home that Monday ALL kids are tired following Halloween.
Girl she’s 4. All she gonna miss is a nap and some fruit snacks. You act like she’s gonna miss school on the day of her high school graduation exam. One day not going to set your baby back.
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I feel like your starting a problem to start a problem. She’s 4. She will be fine.
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Let her go. My kids hardly ever make it to school the day after Halloween anyways. She will be fine missing one day. I’m sure teachers prepare for this. If you go against the court order you will be the one that suffers. Take it all in strides
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For one day that she sleeps late is not going to hurt her. Dont make it an issue when its not.
Not allowing her time with her father would do more damage to her then missing one day of school. Let it be what it is . Besides you need to follow the court order you helped put in place.
Go back to court and get it changed now that she’s in school.
Also if you have a police Claus they can help determine if you not following the custody order is in bear interest of the child.
However…is it really that bad if she misses one day? Let him be responsible to get her to school and if she doesn’t make it…its not the end of the world.
Shes 4 so she is only in prek im assuming since kindergarten doesn’t start till 5, one day missed will not affect you or her. However I think your just being a little ridiculous and trying to make a problem out of nothing
Girl I would just let her miss a day. Being 4, or really any age-- 1 day isn’t going to make a huge difference for either of you.
Side note, you mentioned abuse. as she gets older, I would be paying attention for any sign of abuse toward her, and if it does arise, file for full custody or supervised visits
It’s one day of school, pick your battles, let her enjoy the day/night with dad
Sometimes tricky or treating gets moved so it won’t be Sunday night, and trick or treating may be Saturday night. Won’t know this until it gets a little closer
She’s only 4…so what if she misses school…she won’t miss anything life changing!
Don’t violate th order because he can call the cops on you and then you will be in trouble. I also understand your concern because it was one of mine but just let him do his part. He needs to have her ready for school and drop her off at school. Now if he agrees to drop her off early on Sunday then that’s between the both of you.
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I’d give him the opportunity to keep her and take her to school the next day. If he fails to then you will know for the future and can bring the situation into his next thing he thinks he knows what is best.
The children are always the losers in a divorce … and the only winners are the lawyers.
Follow court order…if she doesn’t show up for school…in the future you can then you can go back to court to have your arrangement ammended to what’s in her best interest…Courts don’t entertain the small stuffs…in most cases unless it’s a consistent issue and not in your child best interest…so you have to look at things from a different point of view…if she mess 1 day, but got to spend time with her dad for Halloween…on his schedule court ordered time…is this really an issue???You need to allow him to be a parent during his time and just not assume he is not going to put her to bed at a decent time and not take her to school the next day…so pick your battles wisely, dont make things a big deal unless it truly is one and its affecting your child negatively…#from amomwhohassimilarcircumstances