My boyfriend and i split up because he cheated opn me…we share a 1 year old who i am obviously not going tokeep from him…but how do i co parent with someone who broke my heart? seeing him for drop off will hurt so bad…
112 Likes
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to co parent with someone who broke your heart? - Mamas Uncut
Make sure you have someone to hang out with after or something to do. You need to create a life without him and get attached to that so your attachment to him can fade.
I’m so sorry he hurt you. You didn’t deserve that.
16 Likes
Can you have someone neutral there to do the exchange a family friend maybe mom . I get how it scan be emotional just do what’s in the best interest fro your child your felling aside good luck 
1 Like
You get over it and seperate your feelings aside for the kid. Talk about the kid and thats it.
13 Likes
Is there someone that you could drop him off to in order for your ex to puck him up without you having to see him?
It’s just something that you have to do if you have someone that can pass them off for you then that would be easiest but a lot of the time situations like these could cause pettiness
1 Like
It’s not about who hurt who it’s all about the child and only the child. You need to put your feelings aside at drop offs/pick ups for the child. Yea it’s hard. Seek therapy too if needed
2 Likes
It gets easier after awhile.
It’s not about your feelings it’s about your child now.
5 Likes
Have a person u trust to do it for u like a family member. And when u r finally healed enough to start doing it urself. No reason to hurt urself more but u also don’t want ur child to see it
2 Likes
You need to be strong for your child. Don’t let your child see you hurting.
2 Likes
Take someone with you…. It’s always worse after you watch him leave with your child…. I’m sorry, but I know exactly what you’re going through, been going through it myself for over 5 years now.
My son’s dad cheated while I was pregnant, and I found out when my son was a week old. The only thing that helped with pickups/drop offs was knowing he was a great dad, just a shitty partner. He loves our son and always has been there for him. A year later, we can actually talk and joke around and be pleasant with each other. But for the longest time we literally only spoke if it had to do with our son. He’s still with the girl he cheated on me with. And coparenting is going really well.
That’s why its coparenting because its not about you nor the other individual. Co-parenting is about the kids meaning put your feelings to the side fir the sake of your children.
6 Likes
Take someone with you for a while. It will get easier over time.
You take it. You sit there and smile, don’t be bitter in front of that baby, because that’s your main focus. Don’t let him see you cry, you just hug your little human. It hurts, not going to lie, but we women are resilient, and one day it’ll start hurting a little less, until you don’t have to fake a smile anymore.
6 Likes
Have another family member or someone you trust take your child to drop offs and pick ups until you’ve worked through the pain
2 Likes
You do it for your child. Compose yourself when needed and let the emotions out when you are alone. It will get easier over time.
You love your child more than you hate your ex that’s how
7 Likes
It will hurt for quite singe time but you have to focus on your child’s needs not yours
1 Like
One step at a time. You have to eat it tho and bury it deep. Keep all conversations strictly about the child and leave your emotions out of it. The baby deserves his love as much as yours. P.s. it’s okay to cry when you drive away- eventually it won’t hurt anymore
Put your big girl panties on! It’s not about u no more
3 Likes
Drop the child off, pick the child up. Say hello & good bye. Keep it cordial and respectful but you don’t have to be friends and hang out and chit chat. When you talk keep it about the child, nothing more.
7 Likes
Focus on your child.
1 Like
Go to counseling and heal. That’s the best thing you can do for your child and yourself.
6 Likes
Grin and bear it and try to act unbothered. It’s okay if you fall apart once away. Greif and heartbreak is a funky funny Rollercoaster of emotions.
1 Like
You have to put your hurt and anger aside when it comes to your child. Your child is the priority and unfortunately no matter how you feel about your child’s father is relevant when it comes to parenting the child. As long as he is a good responsible father, you will learn to put your hurt and anger aside for your child .
Some people find it easier to have a family do the exchange for them. You might want to do this until you are more comfortable with the situation. Best of luck to you!
5 Likes
Is there someone that can intercede for you until your heart heals just s little bit? So sorry you are experiencing this
It will get easier with time. 
1 Like
Focus on the baby and that’s all you can do
Just remember it’s about the child
2 Likes
Your looking at this all wrong, everytime you drop off you should jump for joy like a kid on a trampoline with fresh ice cream, you found out he was a POS without a binding legal commitment, celebrate
6 Likes
You need to stay strong for your child. Getting over someone you used to love is never easy. Take your time to heal and keep your head up. You got this 
Stay away from him, have your child dropped off and picked up from in laws or your parents. Arrive before and after he does 
4 Likes
Know that it’s not about you. It’s about the well being of the child. You don’t have to be friends w him just yet, but be respectful and cordial especially in front of the child. Push your feelings aside and focus on the child.
2 Likes
The best way to get over a man is to find you another one! Worked for me.
1 Like
Be glad you’re not married to him.
2 Likes
You have to love your child more than you hate your ex. Not saying it’s easy at all, but it’s as simple as just do what’s best for your child. I wish you the best of luck.
3 Likes
As hard as it sounds…u’re going to be me someday…50 and full of regrets, because u’re kids rnt going anywhere …but I promise u others will 
Just keep reminding yourself that he he couldn’t be loyal to you and youll get over it eventually to the point where you wonder what you ever saw in him. He cheated because he wanted to and didn’t think about you, only his selfish reasons. Take your power back and live your life.
Its not about you and him anymore its about the Child niw
Hand off need to be at a neutral place, like a fast food restaurant. No GFs at the Hand Off.
Have a buddy go with you till you feel better.
1 Like
Deal with it. This isn’t about you or your feelings. This is solely about the baby having equal time with both parents. Too many parents are selfish and forget that it’s about the kids, not about them.
1 Like
It gets easier, I promise. My ex husband and I are FINALLY getting along well after YEARS of him being an ass
If it’s possible, have him pick her up and drop her off at a relatives or good friends until you feel stronger, and you will get stronger and be happy again. Also, I would just text with him only when have to….not talk also until you feel stronger.
Stay strong girl, it will be hard , no doubt about it, have something set up with friends for when you haven’t got your child, throw yourself into it, it’s better than sitting at home crying over him, please try!
I’m going through the same exact thing. He didn’t cheat now. But we have a two year and he has a 9 year old. His 9 year old hates it here with me because I don’t let him be disrespectful. So my SO packed up and left.
It’s not about you. It’s about the child. You chose the person who shares parentage with you. It’s a lifetime commitment to make your children happy
2 Likes
Unfortunately you suck it up and do it anyway, it’s about the kid not you. I understand it hurts but it will get easier
See if you can get someone to do the drop-off for you. I know it hurts and it probably will for awhile. But each day it will stop hurting a little less then one day you’ll be over him. Just look at it like this him leaving has made room for the right man to come into your life. Just take the time to heal before you move on. Good luck.
2 Likes
It hurts but it’s got to be done.
Keep composed and cold in front of him and of course the baby.
Once they leave, be broken. Let it all out.
Show HIM that you are better than how he made you feel. Prove it to yourself babe.
We are stronger than we think. You’ve got this 
9 Likes
Let yourself know that it’s not about you. It’s about your child and the father. Only conversate about the child if need be. Hold your head high. And straighten your crown.
4 Likes
You just will at some point one day you’ll wake up and it will be alright.
Nothing you can do bur time. And using someone else to get over an ex isn’t cool. Don’t use a dude to distract you from how you feel.
You just have to eat it and go along for the baby. Keep it short and friendly
1 Like
Deal with it, hold your head up high
1 Like
As much as this situation sucks…it’s not about you or your feelings. It’s about the innocent child involved. You need to focus on what is best for your child. A bad partner can still be a great parent. Over time things will be easier.
4 Likes
You just gotta be strong mama and get through it don’t let him know he broke you down like that it hurts like hell but we have to put our feelings aside to do what is best for our kids I am going through the same crap with the one I’ve been with for 20 yrs almost I’ve finally got enough to leave him but we still have 4 kids together oldest 17 sec 15 middle 10 and our 3 yr old if you don’t wanna see him cuz you know it’s gonna hurt to bad and bring back feelings maybe there’s someone that can ride with him like mom or someone like that to walk up and get the child until this isn’t so fresh for you anymore 
1 Like
She’s not saying that any of this is about her and not their child. She clearly stated she’s not going to keep the baby away. But even KNOWING that it’s for the baby doesn’t make seeing him, hurt any less. Honestly, see if you can have a relative do it. Or come with you. Sometimes it’s nice to have a little support. And just remember what HE did. Let that block out you missing him and being hurt
17 Likes
It’s not about you! It’s about the child and that’s what you have to remember.
Your child and your heart are different as long as he is doing right by his child that is your only concern. You have to remove your personal feelings from the equation.
4 Likes
Man, some of yall are jerks… of course its about the baby… she knows that… shes just heartbroken… it will hurt, it will suck, theres no getting around it. Day by day… it will get easier. Its been 7 years for me… and once I found my new fiance that treated me like the badass woman that i was and valued me… i realized he was just an idiot and it hurt alot less…
1 Like
Set up visitation through the courts it is set and not as much interaction needed with each other.
Just know, it will get better and easier.
See if you could meet up with a family member of his instead, until you are over it.
Put your feelings aside & thing of your son. It’s not about you unfortunately in those circumstances. I hope you have a healing heart soon!
2 Likes
It will be hard at first no matter what you do… but it gets easier, promise.
4 Likes
There is alot of things you can do 
if u go to any local health centre you will get alot of help. I’m thinking trough experience this has only happened lately. U do what u need to do. Don’t stress about it right now. If your not able to see him and he wants to see your child let him organise it. He did wrong not u. Honestly in my eyes he cheated on you he also cheated on his child 
I’m sure your baby is well minded and he will be the one to keep you going. You mind you huni xx
Keep communication short and strictly about baby, drop offs and pick ups ect. In time it does get better and easier seeing him in a regular basis. Remember it’s not about you or him it’s about what’s best for your baby so unfortunately personally feeling have to be put aside.
Get a lawyer, establish custody and visitation rights and stick to the schedule
1 Like
Acknowledge your feeling, your hurt and your broken heart, put your child’s needs first but set very clear boundaries and what ever you do, do not break those boundaries, im talking from experience, get into counseling and stay there.
Just do it 
he cheated so u found out …be happy your out of that and hes somone else’s problem. You got this!
3 Likes
Uhm!..lets remember who co parenting is about!!
5 Likes
Put your feelings aside and do what’s best for your child
1 Like
Upgrade yourself and make him realize what he’s lost?
It gets easier. Eventually you won’t even care anymore
1 Like
Not about you it’s about your kid. Suck it up. It’ll get better with time. Trust me if you think by not being there that’s going to make him feel some type of way and care about it you’d be wrong.
Your heart will hurt for a while but his will hurt for a lifetime seeing what he gave up especially when you find the man that will honor and cherish you the way he couldn’t. His sorrow will last forever, yours is temporary.
10 Likes
I have faith you’ll figure it out. Already you’re thinking about co-parenting and not wanting your feelings to interfere. Reach out to friends or family and see if they are willing to help facilitate the exchanges. Keep your head up mama’s, you got this. keep yourself busy before and after the exchanges to help keep your mind off it.
3 Likes
You have to put all feelings aside and let the child come first.
You stay strong for that baby. It’s going to be tough, but it has to be done. In a year, you’re gonna look back on how you felt at this time and be mortified that you let someone hurt you like he did and how insignificant he truly is
6 Likes
It’ll get better over time.
Simple answer get over it , it’s not about yall or your feelings
6 Likes
You got this!! Be strong. Know he isn’t worth your time anymore.
1 Like
It will hurt. A lot. But, you will learn to live with it and eventually get over it. Give yourself grace and time .Also know that you are a great mother for not letting his terrible actions affect him to parent his kid!
1 Like
Have a family member talk with him and you stay in the house during pick up and drop offs. My oldest daughter helped with pickups and drop offs the first year after I left my 23 year marriage. It’s still not easy at times, but we are great co-parents now.
1 Like
Just focus on your child and what he/she needs. Just remember you are doing it for your child not your ex.
1 Like
I would see if he could drop her at a relatives’ house and you pick her up from there until you’ve had more time to heal. I’m sorry that happened.
4 Likes
You feelings are valid, despite what many others are saying . It’s going to be really hard and it will hurt. But it won’t hurt forever. Just try to focus on your child and take it day by day:heart:
7 Likes
Do you have a mutual safe space like a Friend or parent that understands? I do that until you’re past the anger and hurt. Might take time.
I went through this myself last year. It took me 6 months to get over him. I couldn’t be any happier, than where I’m at today🙂 I have succeeded a LOT as a single mother. I pray that you’ll have it in your heart to let him go and let it be.
U can always do 3 rd person , this person handle drop or pick and communication BTW yall , I think more ppl should do it same even do 4th parties ( one person each side handle everything deal both side ) both case parents don’t have deal w each other I really believe more should do this is save stress and have proof for court … but it will hurt sooner or later new girl be w him so u have put tho feel side bc he kid father if u can’t maybe 3rd person / parties be best
You need to put your big panties and act like a woman and not like a child , a cheater man can be a great father still , so keep your child out from the situation
4 Likes
Suggest a plan with a family member or friend, where you can drop off your child like 10-15 minutes before hand, and your ex can come 10-15 after you leave. This way you do not have to see him. I had to do that with my ex, not because it hurt to see him but because he was an abusive narcissist mofo.
3 Likes
Be like Buddha and let all that shit go. Rise above, higher than you want to. But also get little digs in when you can 
try to play it cool and move on QUICK. No reason to lose your mind. Speaking from experience
Go through a third party or put on your big girl pants with a strong and confident smile and do it with class
2 Likes
If its that hard for you arrange for someone else, a friend or family member you can trust!
2 Likes
So many are getting touched financially through bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies, take this opportunity now and be self independent. I’m so greatful to Mrs lisa jennifer and her team, they help me to set up my trade now am earning good profit without loss. If interested Contact her via
1 Like
Speaking from experience and years of lies and betrayal… Gets easier with time. I went to a New Moms class at Kaiser and broke down. They recommended individual therapy so I requested a referral for that. I also attended group depression classes (once a week for 10 weeks). It was comforting knowing I wasn’t alone in my grief and sadness. Use the time your baby is with his/her dad to discover new hobbies, stay in and watch Netflix, go for a walk, read a good book, or catch up with family and friends. Keep conversations with the baby’s dad short and sweet and focused on the baby only. “Hi. Baby ate and has a fresh diaper. See you here at 6. Bye.” Then enjoy your Mommy time. You deserve it.
1 Like
Bc it’s not about you it’s about your child…. 
2 Likes