What I hear is “I” want. What is best for the child? Seek professional advice.
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Sounds like this is what’s best for you not your kid. It’s not ok that you moved states then claim he abandoned the child. Makes no sense. I think it’s time for some self reflection. It’s time to do what’s right for your child not what works best for you. I promise you that your child will figure their father out when they are older. My daughter did. She’s almost 18 and she knows that he’s not there for her and never really has been. She chooses not to have a relationship with him and I support that. But it was her decision not mine. Don’t be that toxic parent.
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You cannot be serious right? Wtf is wrong with you?? Normally im not a total asshole when commenting in these things but wtf! You need professional help which shoulda been a requirement to get your kid back to begin with
If they go 18 months with out contact that is considered abandonment but the popping in and out breaks that so no you can’t claim abandonment however without a court order you don’t have to let him see or talk to the kid. He doesn’t have the right to show up to your house without your permission. If he’s doing that you can try to get a no contact order. Stay strong mom. And for all the commenters here. Don’t judge people just answer the question you have no idea what others have gone through or why they feel the need to do what they do. It’s not a cotton candy world and btw men can be horrible and women had to fight like hell to have any say over their own lives and their kids. They don’t teach it in school but women have never had it easy.
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Waaaaay too much to unpack here. Focus on some therapy for yourself before worrying about any of this mess.
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Definitely look into the laws in your state. The decision is made not only based on those but also the judge in charge of your case. You don’t necessarily need a lawyer to do it but you should understand that just because it’s something you want doesn’t mean the judge will see it that way. I know where I am at is no contact, at all, with the other party the amount of time varies. Once there has been a sufficient amount of time you can get the paper work and contact your local family court. Is there a CO? If not, while you can’t get him on abandonment you can prevent him from seeing the child. Which in some cases the “random pop ins” actually does more harm.
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Stuff like that usually depends on the state you’re in also seeing as you just got the kid back after 5 years you obviously haven’t done all of the hard work so you might want to leave that out
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You can’t claim abandonment if you moved states, that’s ridiculous.
But if he wants to be a parent than let him be a parent. If he just wants to when it convenient for him than he’s no parent at all, you can’t pick and choose when you want to be a parent.
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It’s going to be very hard to get their parental rights taken away from them. My son’s biological father has never been in his life and I still had to have him sign his rights away the courts couldn’t just take them away. There has to be a good reason like maybe the father is physically abusive or they are in prison and are going to be there for several years. It’s not as easy as you wanting them taken away. Plus if you moved out of state how is that fair maybe he doesn’t have the money to travel out of state frequently.
Definitely get a lawyer! Don’t do anything outside the law, it’ll come back to you… get a lawyer and do it the right way. It’s pretty cut and dry though.
Everyone on here saying it’s all about what you want and not what’s best for the child… it’s literally all about the child… lol y’all need help… and stop giving advice
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Are you saying your child was in the Foster system?
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I think you are wrong!! Whatever you think of his behavior, or what he does, you are the one who had a child with him. That is his father. You already have custody so why keep down this path. Like it’s your point just because you want to. Because of it is, you are in the wrong
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I doubt you could get him for abandonment if you moved states. That’s your fault not considered his.
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Parents should work together as a team whether they are in a relationship or not as long as the situation is not toxic for the child, that’s making a sacrifice to keep your child emotionally & mentally healthy. When I divorced my ex- husband 20 years ago I had a 8, 4, 2 yr old and I did everything I could to help that man be in my children lives and I never regretted it. Kids are all grown now and they are grateful 
So you just got custody back and you’re trying to charge your ex with abandonment when you moved states?? The courts will laugh. If you want to file for full custody then do that I’d leave all the other stuff out of it.
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There is a lot going on here… But in my opinion it doesn’t sound like you are doing things for the right reasons. Almost sounds like you are trying to spite him with “ I want to get him on abandonment, so I can take his rights away.” Were you in contact with him for that year he wasn’t around? If not maybe he was going through some stuff you don’t know about and if you moved perhaps he had no way to get to the child. Did you tell him where you moved to? Did you let him know you were moving in first place? These are all important questions that may be asked by the courts as no matter what YOU think should happen, the judge will look at many different angles to keep a parents rights. Trust me I know. I can tell you this, do what’s in best interest of the child. I have been in a child custody case situation and I gave my daughter’s father every chance to see her. He chose not to, but my husband from the moment he laid eyes on my daughter at about a year old adored her and took care of her as his own. I wanted to take her bio fathers rights away. But it almost didn’t happen as the judge almost didn’t allow it, they want what’s best for kid…Thank goodness my husband has since adopted her, she is 13 and knows no other father. But you must think of all these things before attempting to take this to court as it’s not as cut and dry as you are assuming. One thing they ask is “have you done everything in your power to offer —- biological —- a relationship with the child.” Also consider by taking the rights away you are giving up ever getting any kind of support from the father. If something should happen to you, the child would also most likely go to state unless you sign someone as guardian. There’s more than just I want him out of my kids life for good to this. So think very long and hard about it.
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You just have him served to go to court to get rights signed over. If he refuses to sign them over then you can argue abandonment
Yeah u won’t win that. You moved.
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Most judges won’t take a parents rights unless you have someone lined up to take his place. They will just go after him for child support and such.
You do you boo!! I think it’s right since he doesn’t wanna be around
Talk about throwing stones
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Better be careful. You left that state were the court proceeding took place. They could force you to move back they still have jurisdiction. You better get a lawyer instead of asking here.
If you moved out of state why would you think you could claim abandonment? If you didn’t inform the father that you were moving with the child, you could be the one who ends up with charges filed against you.
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Remember, he is still his father, and nothing can change it. Leave it alone or it might come back to haunt you in the end.
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Go to the police dept and charge him there.
You just got custody of your 6 year old after 5 years but you’ve done all the hard work??? Im confused.
Who had him for the 5 years???
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If you’re decree wasn’t updated with his agreeing for you to move out of state with a court ordered custody schedule and child support order in place, you can’t do anything. You have to go back to wherever you lived and start there.
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I’m just gonna throw this out there, you regained custody after 5 years and want to accuse other parent of abandonment…geez
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See an attorney - he can answer your questions.
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You moved Wtf. I cant with some of you females.
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Talk to a lawyer about it. Give them what you have posted here. They’ll be able to help you out.
Its not up to you to “wash your hands” of the other parent. You moved, which if you didn’t get the court’s consent to move to another state, they could give him full custody.
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Attorney. Get it in writing. I see so many trying to keep the ex in their child’s life, even when they undermine the custodial parent. It’s easy to just show up when you have nothing else to do, not pay support or back up the rules and boundaries set by the parent they live with. These people that do this are not parents, they are nothing but strangers who just happened to have donated a sperm or an egg. Now someone else is trying to raise, educate, support, and prepare them to be a responsible adult. All these leaches want to do is play parent whenever they feel like it. Most of them couldn’t take of care a cat, but the because they have shared dna with a child they think they are a parent. Most of the time they are just bad news when the child is little, but when the child gets older they will destroy them.
Why cut in out of his life tho
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An arrorney will be able to answer your questions best.
Please stop thinking of yourself. This man is your childs Father. You moved. You choose to have a child with that man the child didn’t choose. If he isn’t coming around why even bother let it be. Think about your child they will know who was there and who wasn’t there.
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Leave it be your child will always remember who fought for him who was there for him.
If the “father” wants to visit then do it as supervised in a facility. Let your child choose if he wants a relationship dont take that away from your son because it will bite you in the butt when his older.
You need to seek legal advice. Also, have you ever heard the expression, “don’t rock the boat?” Not every problem has a legal solution and not every situation is made better by legal intervention. Seek the advice of a family law attorney in your area.
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Go to courthouse and file charges. It’ll be 1year since last involvement. Take it to child support court. I did. They stripped him of his rights and no visitation. He has only allowed to pay the required $900/month until he turned 21 (judge went past 18).
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Nothing and I mean nothing is cut and dry in family court.
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Leave it alone or the boy may grow up hating you.
I have custody of my children but on paper it’s shared custody. Their dad has moved on and remarried and doesn’t often see them and they rarely ask about him but I’ve kept it this way simply because if they want to reach out to him or he reaches out to them, they can and nothing will ever stop that. They’re 12 and 14 now (split with him when the 12 year old was 3 months old) and they know what he is like but they also know that I will never stop them seeing their dad if they choose to. If he reaches out to them and they don’t want to see him then that’s their decision.
Be the bigger parent and let your son decide when he’s older. Things change
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Why would you want to even consider that
Unless there has been any abuse to your child
I can’t see any magistrate granting it
Also why was your child not in your care for some time
As you said he has been with you for a year ?
Just remember he can take you to court and ask for visitation , half of every vacations, joint care , or even custody
Trust me when your child is older he/she will ask questions as to why they don’t have a dad
If your child doesn’t get the answers from you
He/she will ask other family members
You have already made it hard
your child and the father to eventually bond
As you have moved to a different state
And expect him to move there
Please think about the thing’s I have listed above befor you
Think about legal action
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So you moved the child away from the dad to another state and HE abandoned his child? Did he have visitation rights, or custody in any way? Seems kind of crappy to just pick up and move away from the dad and the family… imo
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So you have a 6yr old that for 5yrs was a ward of the state, you got the child back and moved states and you want to get him for abandonment bc hes not been involved for a year, so since you got the child and moved then? How can you say you just want to wash your hands of him and have his rights stripped from him like that?! The child will grow to hate you when they find out the truth about everything
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Had the kid just over a year and “done all the hard work”
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I’m confused did you not have the child for 5yrs? Did someone else? And you moved states did you and dad have a plan put together ? Or did you up and leave and expect him to make all the moves to see his child you relocated? It’s still a team effort. I would at least make an effort on your end first if he doesn’t make effort or respond then I see your point. But every kid deserves both parents if both are willing.
It’s very hard to get rights taken from one parent. My ex has nothing to do with our children and is on drugs he has not seen them or talked to them in forever and I just got soul and physical custody of them in my divorce he didnt even show up to court and he still got supervised visits that he will have to set up and pay for.
If your child was in State custody for 5 years and the State didn’t get dad’s rights removed for child abandonment, there’s a reason. You don’t have a chance😑
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I would seriously let that sleeping dog lie, there isn’t a point in a fight and if that’s truly the situation then it really doesn’t matter if he’s legally bound to them or not. My 6 year old and I left when she was in my womb and he wasn’t apart of her life until she was 3 … take my advice . Let it go.
Your child was in state custody for FIVE years and you want to charge WHO with abandonment? 
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Sooooo… the state had custody of your child for 5 years and the father is the problem? 
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Wait what. I have strong feelings on this. But you do you. Bitter and vindictive. They have abduction charges too
“The child”? Wtf talks like that about their own kid?
Wait so you got him back 1.5years ago when he was 5 after 5 years of him being in foster care? Did you loose him at birth? How has his dad been in and out of his life but you haven’t? Visitation isn’t everyday for foster kids. Yet you moved states as soon as you got him back but now complaining that his dad pops in and out of his life? This post is confusing