So I don’t ask for advice much but I’m 2 days away from having my second baby and me and my husband are basically done and the stress is making me a mess.
A little background is that He basically says I’m the worse person ever and I make him not want to be alive and that I’m such a nag that he doesn’t want to be around the family at all. We separated in December to see if we just needed space basically and while we where separated I bought a house to get out of living with his parents because they have enough to deal with then having us and the babies living under their roof. So I bought my house since we where separated I was able to do it on my own so the house is completely in my name. Well now I have bills and being pregnant I can’t work as I did and I’m still working now all the way until I have no option because of the bills. So I basically have told him that he needs to start being a father and responsible for his family that I shouldn’t have to be a single mom when he is around. His mom watches our son when I work on his off days he doesn’t watch him only when he feels like it will he watch him and it’s not even for a full shift of mine. He says he has money but refuses to show any of it. Won’t pay any bills like a husband should or buy anything for his kid or buy anything really.
Am I being unreasonable in being done and getting child support? We got married last year so I can also get spousal but I just want him to be responsible for his kids because taking care of them alone is very very rough. Soon I’m going to have two kids to care for and I know I don’t make enough for it. I mean we both made these kids right? I don’t think he cares about custody unless it’ll hurt me at this point. Does it really make me a bad person to want to make sure my kids are cared for? I’ve tried to not go through the government but all he has is empty promises and I can’t handle them anymore.
Girl leave him he clearly has no responsibilities and won’t know your worth unless you leave him I think just give your self a break and see how everything goes and try not to stress about everything to much and worry about your kids they need you more
I am confused, r u still separated or back together? If separated he needs to support his kids no matter what he says and take care of them if together he needs to pay for his fair share of the household Bill’s and take care if the kids!! If I were u I would leave him for being verbal abuse!
You absolutely deserve better. Did he pay any bills before the split? A marriage SHOULD be each partner giving 100% to improve the lives of themselves, their spouse & family. Doesn’t sound like he’s really doing anything to help. Do you want your boys to grow up believing that this is the way a man should act? And the woman should just accept that and not want better for herself and her kids? It’s easier to talk about divorce than to actually go through with it though. I’ve been there.
Also, it sounds like you have a decent relationship with his mom (at least enough that she helps with your LO) have you discussed anything with her? I ask this because in some instances a divorce will cause issues there and decent childcare is hard to find and expensive as well. Don’t want her to be blindsided by the issues in your marriage or you to be blindsided if she takes his side. Sending hugs. Hang in there Mama.
You bought a house you cant afford and now youre upset he wont pay for you to live there…
This page really shows peoples true colors, that’s for sure.
Leave him and serve him.
Your probably not gonna get spousal support, 
you haven’t been married long enough and it’s not like he takes care of you, and you need. To get back on your feet after the divorce, look child support very much so … He isn’t going to change so you are better off filing now and following though … You will be good on your own for while !!! And you may even meet some that shows the respect you deserve !! Good luck 
If he’s not contributing to the household he should not be living there. Let him go back to mamas. Your going to have 2 sm children to feed you don’t need him slinging off you
He should be equally responsible for the kids. He should not have to pay for the bills for the house that you bought and is in your name. Talk to him and say that you are done and will be filing for divorce. Ask him if he wants any custody of the kids. If he does, go 50/50 and no child support. If he doesn’t, file for child support and he needs to sign away parental rights to the kids.
He’s already gone & not invested in your marriage. Go file for child support and keep taking care of your kids. Save money and file for divorce when you can.
Your marriage is over file for child support now and get out. Nothing else you can do.
Go to court and get a judgment first of all important get full physical custody of the children just because you have them legally doesn’t give you that and most people don’t know that so first and foremost get full legal and physical custody of the children and then you go for the child support. He’s no good you don’t need him
Oh heck no some of these women saying pregnancy isn’t excuse. Honestly, you’ll need time to heal after popping out a baby. Get him on child support you weren’t the only one who made a kid. It’s not going to be easy also if all you have is a car payment and house payment I’d call the loan on car payment and say you need more time dues to having a baby. The man you are having a baby with has two legs he can help. He didn’t push out no baby. As for spousal support you won’t get any. At this point I’d file for a small loan and wouldn’t take more than 3 weeks off of work it will save you some time. Until you can work.
Send him back to Mom’s and file for child support for both babies but In most states the only way to get spousal support is if he does something like have an affair while in the relationship with you, many states don’t have anything like that and if your the one working and paying the bills it won’t happen. Focus on getting support for the kids and getting a divorce since he obviously can’t handle being a husband and father.
Take his ass to court for child support. If he doesn’t pay, he will go to jail. Simple as that.
I agree, why buy a house as you said on your own in your name only if you need him to help pay the bills there? And now your mad because he won’t help? You can file for child support, doesn’t mean he’s going to pay. You kinda put yourself in a rough situation here.
I’m confused. I feel like there’s more to the story here. You bought a house without him after you got pregnant? I agree, he is financially responsible for the kids. But you can’t expect him to change just because you’re having another child. It sounds like that’s what you expected. Men don’t do that. Sounds like he’s been a scumbag long before you got pregnant.
Do whatever you need to do for your kids remembering that they are his kids too
You most likely aren’t getting spousal support if you make enough to buy a house.
You should have stayed with parents till after baby was born and you could go back to work.
There’s insurance for mortgages you can buy that pay the payments if you get temporarily disabled. Childbirth counts as disability for as long as your OBGYN says.
If him and his parents have the kids half the time, like it sounds, he doesn’t owe you anything money wise.
Sounds like your getting a really check on what it truly costs to live. Imagine another thousand dollars a month for childcare.
If you bought that house while married guess what, it his house too. It doesnt matter if it’s just in your name, it’s called marital assets. What were you thinking?
Look it up. The only way its yours alone is if you purchased it under the shelter of a company you yourself own. Or you purchased it with money you inherited and he was not a named beneficiary.
Did he contribute any money to the downpayment or closing? Either directly or indirectly?
And no, you have worked so you wont get spousal support.
You need to see an attorney to clear up some issues that you clearly are mistaken about.
He should pay for his kids but you bought the house on your own knowing you have a baby on the way so why should he pay towards that? It was your choice to put yourself in debt not his
Go file for divorce and child support. Don’t count on him. He’s clearly refusing to step up. That’s his problem, not yours. Take care of your babies and tell him to get bent. You got this mama!
I have sole custody he still order to pay child support. I workes til the day before i had second child and back to wk 2 weeks later single life you will struggle mostly gotta find a point to work provide and manage bills. If u cant afford them dont have them.
Cable vs light which do u need?
Food vs high price phone?
Baby items vs going out to eat?
No I would go for child support for both children and alimony! Enough is enough! Move on dont put yourself through that and your children will see you going through the stress as well and it’s not fair to them. You will find someone who loves you for you! And they will love your children as well. Hes being a dead beat dad! So guess what take it to court and he’ll be court ordered to pay his part! Congratulations on the new baby! You’re strong and independent. You dont need him! But he does have to pay for those children he helped make!
If there is a separation, those aren’t his bills to pay. He isn’t a husband and should not be expected to pay like a husband. Being separated is being a single mother. Choosing to do it alone isn’t as blissful as l’m sure it sounded in the beginning, but that doesn’t mean the guy is required to be anything more than a father. It wasn’t his choice to buy a home. He is a father and has to provide a portion of the children’s expenses.
I’m slightly more concerned that this man is so distraught that he would want to die instead of being around his wife after only a year of marriage-some of which was time separated-absolutely something deeper going on there.
Be careful cuz, unless I am wrong, and maybe unless you documented it as a legal separation with the court, that house is still marital (joint, both of yours) property whether his name is on it or not. Every case is unique and depends on the judge but sometimes people have to sell marital property and split the profit… Any way, you’re not wrong for wanting the kids taken care of but unfortunately if you and he can’t come to an agreement the only choice is to let the court order him to pay or have custody, however that goes. That still doesn’t mean he will pay or will exercise his time with his children. It may be best to prepare yourself for single motherhood. You can do it without him.
Also alimony only applies if you’ve been married for a certain amount of time. Don’t rely on his payments.
You purchased the house December when you would have been 2 / 3 months pregnant. And you should of been considering how you were going to continue to afford it. But not doing so you are just as irresponsible as the father.
You also made the choice to purchase the house; not him, so it’s your problem. If you can’t afford it then sell it. That’s the reality of life, married, separated or single.
Can u get a roommate to help out with rent and bills
It’s your house, YOU need to pay the upkeep on it.
He should be supporting his children… but not you
I would file for child support and public aid
I can’t stand these women that ask such stupid questions. Am I a bad person because I want the father of my children to love them and take care of them. Are you stupid. Gee what do you really think. This is not a hard question. I’m sure he’s been this way for quite a while so let’s get pregnant again. Maybe another child will wake him up. Didn’t work did it. Birth control is the answer to your question also drop his ass now. Think things through you will find a a better answer on your own.
If he’s not living in the home and YOU decided to buy the house on your OWN then why should he pay for anything? Y’all are separated. Not together. He’s technically your husband but that sounds about it.
I have a “technical” husband too, but that doesn’t mean he needs to pay my bills because we’re SEPARATED.
Get court ordered child support and get it taken directly from his check
It’s based off income. I get 100 a child and they’re 16 and 11.
It’s based off both parents incomes and care%
You need to have a child support assessment done to know how much your getting etc
It seems the other parent may be getting Centrelink?
NSW Australia?
Seems low, even when my partner wasn’t working he had $55 a fortnight deducted from government payments for child support for 2x kids
Depends how often he has the kids and your income too
Based off income… so there is no maximum. You should be getting a lot more then $50 a month for 3 kids.
If based off the fathers income, so If he isn’t working and is on Newstart then that’s probably why you are only getting that.
2 year old, he makes approx $2500 a month and I get $388/mo. That’s just child support. I don’t make him do insurance or child care Bc he doesn’t see him and I work from home and don’t do daycare. I keep insurance.
i got that for a while wasnt worth it thats when i talked to cs about upping it went from50 to at least 300 after a year or whatever was when did it
It’s all based off the fathers income
Based off fathers income.
There is a calculator thing u can use
It’s based off both incomes, I just went to court in December. If the mother, or even father depending on the case, isn’t working but can they could calculate it that way. I won’t say what I get but it’s enough
Depends. If you make more than dad then he won’t pay as much. Every state has a minimum to pay for each child…
In NC it’s based on how much both parents make and time spent with the child or children. They go as low as $50 a month and higher. I’d recommend looking at your state and their guidelines. Every state and rules are different
Hayley Mason in Texas it has NOTHING to do with the primary custody parents income. They ONLY go on the non custodial parents income. My ex husband is court ordered to pay $225 a month for 1 child but he doesnt pay it. Never has. He’s behind over $15000.
You should be able to find guidelines online for whatever country you are in. I’m not sure where NSW is. I know in NY in the US, there’s a basic guideline off of the non custodial parents income. After that is established, they magistrate can go up or down, based on many factors such as an agreement between the parents, parenting time, cost of visitation, needs of other kids in the non custodial parents household, etc. only you and the dad were at the proceedings to know why you got what you did. Ask questions if you think it’s not right or fair. Ask for an adjournment to contemplate what will be ordered. You should have a child support office to ask questions to or maybe a lawyer who can give a free consultation so you can figure what your options are.
Do an income review but they go on his income. What type of job does he have ? You can also take it to the judge.
If the absent parent doesn’t have a job they base child support on the minimum wage as if they are working 40 hours a week
Request a modification……. Or just call them and ask 
I went through the food stamp office. It’s normally 10-30 percent of what he makes.
Also if you get assistance the state will take child support to reimburse it, at least where I live.
File with the courts .
Theresa Aramburu im in ny, i know our child support is only based on the non custodial parents income. 1 kid is like 10% 2 kids is 17% i think. My kids father is supposed to pay like $110 for 1 kid. He hasnt paid in a long time and owes me almost $10,000.
All depends on how much you make against how much the other parent makes. They go on an average amount per month it takes to care for a child. They then look at both parents income and debts that have to be paid. Then come up with an amount that they can afford. If the other parent is not working they will be required to pay state minimum until they get a job, they are suppose to report it but if they don’t you can file a contempt and modification to get it changed, they will then send a letter to your state child support office and they will send letter to their employer to garnish wages.
It will be based off yours and his incomes from last financial year. The amount of care also comes into play. CS should have sent you a letter stating all the info etc. There is no maximum or minimum, it’s purely income based.
In iowa since my bonus daughters mom was not working at the time her min is 30 a month and we have never seen a dime in 3 years.
As the other ladies said it depends on the state you live in but in my state of VA it goes by both parents income and how many days the father has overnight with the children. And it also depends on who carry’s the medical insurance, there will s a worksheet they go by and you can get online as well. I would call a lawyer and get a free consultation and go from there because of all 3 kids have the same father, $50 a month is not enough
In Ohio it doesn’t go by their income either, even when my daughters dad didn’t have a job, they told him he’s fully capable of working full time minimum wage, they calculated his monthly payment based on that. $75 a week. But it’s about to go up cause he makes a lot more money now
Give 50/50. Then you don’t need child support. If you can’t afford your child having 50/50 you don’t need them that often.
Child support is for absent parents, not greedy women wanting more
Here in Illinois they actually have a public calculator to determine how much child support should be given/received.
Give CSA a call on 131272. They’ll be able to help you out. If you’re receiving Family Tax Benefit, your rate will depend on how much child support he is to pay. Good luck.
You better get down to family court and ask them for help with an amendment to child support. It takes a lot more to raise and pay for three children
NSW… you’re in New South Wales, Australia? If so, add that to your original post. I think most respondents didn’t understand NSW.
I’m unfamiliar with Australian law, so I can’t help. You might want to call a barrister, though. In the US, the initial consultation is usually free.
Im in vic Australia. Child support goes off both wages. If dad is on centrelink you will get base rate of around $13 per child per fortnight. If he is working however then it could be more depending on his wages and living expenses. You will also receive less if you earn more than him.
Men can lie their way into paying less than the kids are entitled to. Unless you have access to their pay checks & tax forms there’s no way to make sure they’re not cheating the system.
You have to apply to the child support agency
For child support
You have to list sex and ages of your kids
Provide your income and last tax statement and tax file number
You will need to provide dads name and address
They will then ask him to provide the same statements
And his tax file number
If he fails to provide that information
He will have to pay the maximum amount
It will be taken out of his next tax return
It will be like getting blood out of a stone but
As csa has to get the money out of him before you can get it
Good luck I’m in Texas my child’s father in in Utah he is supposed to pay 274 a month and haven’t seen any of it and the child support office doesn’t help with the situation
I get $12.25 every 2 weeks for 3 kids
You should get way more
You’re in Australia so yes the min is less than $50.00 a more… Which is normally when the dad is out of work, if not the CSA give him a few months to declare his income, if he hasn’t you need to follow up with them to contact his employer to take it out of his wages.
My friend got 4.25 a month off a guy that hid his money
I wouldn’t know, I never received any child support on either of my 2 kids.
Contact and go through child support. Then it is out of both of your hands and calculated accurately based on care percentage and income. In these cases it’s best to have someone else be the bad guy.
Call local domestic relations office for questions and or to file
I used to get 17.00 a week 
It goes by percentage of their income and the childrens ages. The only way to know is call CSA. Unfortunately no one on here can help. Goodluck.
It depends on your ex partners income from the previous financial years, the amount of nights he has per month and your income. If you call child support they can tell you
My children’s dad that I have SIX kids with, from ages 5-14, pays $25 a MONTH and hasn’t paid a dime since Sept.
I’m in NY.
Goes off both parents income, in ny starts at 27% 1 kid, 17% #2, and a percent for 3rd
But it depends on how much non custodial parent makes
And if they actually pay
In 36 months I’ve recieved child support 3 times. I honestly could take that back support im entitled to and get a house but I will never see it. I think its stupid that VA disability isn’t garnishable.
I get $100 a week but my son is autistic so he has therapy and other things that contribute to that if it was just off income I think he would only had to give me like $37 a week
Get a lawyer, contact friend of court.
Is the father seeing the kids half the time of the year.
I just stated getting 26.03 a week 
It depends on a lot of things. The kids ages, the income, and how many overnights the other parent has!
UK it’s 25 a week for one child x
There is a child support calculator on line. It will tell you
Usually there is a formula the courts use when they start your case. It is typically based off one of 2 things Current income/Potential Income. If you feel it isn’t the right amount or the ex has a higher job than before you can ask for a reevaluation.
I’m in MI, my ex and I have 4 kids together and he owes more than $10,000.00 doesn’t help out with anything and they do nothing to him🤷🏻♀️
I get just under $200 every other week. Which averages out to be $100/wk… $400/mth. My ex hasn’t seen his daughter in 5 yrs.
When we did go to the court for it they had a formula they used for figuring it out.
After 2 years I was given the option of having them go back and adjust it and check for any changes that might have occurred to his income.
since I don’t know the laws in Australia. I only know where I lived in USA. One goes to court for temporary custody until the divorce hearing, Then judge decides the child support by the others weekly earnings
I’m a single mom to 4. The court ordered he pay $80/month. That was like a decade ago, they won’t increase it because he’s fully dependent on the government apparently. Child support is bogus. I’m in the US.
There should be a child support calculator online for your state. If you know the other person’s average income you can input both in the calculator alone with how many children and it should give you an estimate.
It usually depends on income. If you feel you aren’t getting enough you can go back to court and they will take things like daycare, extracurricular activities and medical expenses into account on how much he has to pay
I only get $450 a month for my two year old
Im supposed to get 360 a month for 2 kids. The bio didn’t have a job at the time it was granted. My kids haven’t seen him in 12 yrs. I live in Missouri
In Mn it is reviewed every 3 years i think and it goes based off the child support payers income. So if you are a pipeliner youre going to pay way more than if you work at subway.