Hey y’all. I dont know how to get my 6 year old son to listen anymore, we went out shopping and it was horrible, he doesnt listen wen I tell him stand next to me, he runs around the store looking at stuff. He does the same at home, he doesnt listen when I talk to him. He ignores me when I talk to him, he does not care about getting his ipad taken away, I spanked him on his feet for running away but he didnt care. I dont know what or how to speak to him for him to listen, I dont want my baby being own way, please help guys.
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Check into some behavioral therapy. Stick your guns with punishments. Take things out of his room. Make him do chores. Ive had to strip my sons room down to just a mattress and a dresser before. But he learned from it and I’ve never had to do it again.
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Spank him on the butt with a wooden spoon.
If he’s acting up really bad, on occasion try spanking him.
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My sons the same way he’s in occupational therapy. Baby steps.
I think getting him evaluated should be the first step , make sure that everything is ok , that he doesn’t have any mental illness like attention deficit or even a hearing impairment.
Get that done and go with the results
Wth does a 6 year old have an iPad to begin with? 
past generations minded much better without being raised by electronics. There’s a reason why pediatricians recommend limiting all screen time for kids. It also interferes with communication skills. Along with many other reasons it’s not recommended. Go ask his doctor.
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Remind him who the parent is and put your foot down 
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I did time out with my kids , put them on a chair , made sure everything was shut off and they could only look at the wall . hold him on the chair but not hurting him , and tell him when he starts listening then he will get up . after he finally agrees to it , tell him every time he doesn’t listen he will be put on time out , and do minute timing . if he talk back tell him thats another minute . It worked great for mine .
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Can you have him tested for Autism?
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My son was similar. I took him to the family Dr, who recommended a child psychologist and he was diagnosed with adhd and oppositional behavior. Eventually, after numerous other methods without it, he is now on medication and it has truly helped!
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Get one of those wrist spring leashes. They can’t take it off cuz the angle to put it on. And when he behaves then give him chances here and there. When my kid was little she made one big scene and I said nope! Dropped everything and we left . She wasn’t allowed to go with me or she had to be with her father or one of my friends and if she was good she’d get rewarded. But if she was bad. She got to sit in the car with them and wait. Bad behavior gets nothing! And when we got home she acted up I took toys away, and one time ever I took everythinggg out of her room besides books and her bed and clothes. She slowly earned everything back. We don’t have a lot of issues almost at all any more. Just patience and stay firm
My son was the same way, he still has his moments but has gotten better with age. He’s 9 now. He has ADHD and I believe anxiety as well. Wouldn’t be a bad idea to get him evaluated. Good luck, you’re not alone 
It all goes back to structure and discipline. If you allow him to get away with it he will continue. You need to be stern and if he runs around the store then leave and if you have to leave when he gets home he can sit in his room with books all day. However you have to stay consistent
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He could have ADHD? People will blame you for his behavior or tell you to spank him, which probably isn’t going to help. Get him an evaluation, it all starts with the Vanderbilt forms. 
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Parenting classes asap
Make him hold your hand and don’t let go Or put him in a trolley or leash. You are the adult and parent, time to make it known he’s not allowed to just do what he wants. My guess is he behaves at school for his teachers so he’s just acting on you. Smack his butt if need be. Don’t let him run all over you and be disrespectful because it will only get worse.
Try therapy. It could be another condition. Has he been tested for any kind of disorders? Do his teachers express any concerns?
My five year old is doing this. He became a big brother in the past year so I know he’s adjusting and testing boundaries which is absolutely normal at this age.
My son is no saint but I can tell you, I’ve had to make sure he knows we can’t go out to dinner or shopping anymore because of how loud of whiny he was. I’ve taken away toys. Done time out. I make him repeat what I say now, and if he’s not listening then he’s got to listen and then repeat or then time out.
You spanked his feet? That’s a super weird thing to do 
I wouldn’t listen to you either
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Talk to him and learn more about his needs. He is six. He’s just learning about himself and the world. Remember he’s only six he’s not doing anything intentional to bother you or be bad. Maybe he’s running around the store because he needs to get energy out. Find a way to get his energy out before you go if possible. He may not be listening because he doesn’t understand how to do what you’re asking. Give him specific instructions and show him what you want done. Like if he’s playing with a toy and you want him to stop give him clear expectations. You could say something like do you want to keep playing if he says yes say well you have 5 minutes then it’s time to eat dinner or take bath or whatever. When those five minutes are up say it’s time now. If he doesn’t listen still be firm and say the 5 minutes are up we are going to eat now. Staying calm yourself will teach him to stay calm. Help him learn to communicate with you. Spanking doesn’t work because it teaches him nothing.
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Something is bothering him… talk to him …a car setting is captive… and ask him what’s going on? He’ll have a good answer and listen to him… yes…listen…
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Mine did that too. He was severely hyperactive and could NOT hold still.
Why would you spank his feet. Of all of the solutions hitting shouldn’t be one of them. Maybe he has some kind of underlying condition you aren’t aware of.
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I found that my son didn’t give a hoot about punishment at the time of the offense. So I would have taken him home and said here is what’s going to happen. The next time that there is something fun to do I will not be taking you and I’ll get a babysitter. Your not going to know when or what fun thing I choose but it’s coming when you least suspect. I only had to do it once. The threat of the unknown was devastating. Running around the store is not safe.
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I don’t want to say it but I am … Try getting a backpack leash
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Sounds a whole lot like adhd.
Oh and if you’re worried about the not standing next to you thing start telling him the truth about how there are people out there that will literally snatch him up and he’ll never see you again. Best believe mine is coming of age and is very vigilant when we are in public. Sometimes you need to scare safety into your kids. Better safe than sorry.
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Im confused as to why you would spank his feet?? Give him a time out for 6 minutes. 1 minute for every year. And stop threatening to take stuff away and just take stuff away.
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Get one of them backpacks that are like dog leashes lol who cares if ppl stare, you’re just trying the best to keep him near you
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Discipline has to be consistent. That’s first. He may need to be evaluated by a child psychiatrist for any spectrum disorders or other issues. His family doctor is not equipped to diagnosis this properly. Once evaluated a therapy plan can be put in place if necessary. My daughter was diagnosed at 6 by a child psychiatrist at 6 with ADHD. She got the help she needed. She will be 30 this year and has a 4 year old daughter of her own. My daughter graduated from college and is successful so it’s a matter if management and treatment. Consult a child psychiatrist
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I agree with getting an evaluation. Does he only live in your household - so you don’t need to be concerned about another adults lack of rules and / or disabling?? That can be confusing to a child. I’d suggest searching for information on the net by experts. Personally, I raised 2 kids, I would sit on the floor, ask for eye contact, explain what was wrong , the need to listen and I always ended with " I love you". Placed them in a chair and asked them to think
2 mins later , I would remind them of the love and expectation.
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Just grab em by the ear. He’ll stop 
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have his hearing checked
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3 of my kids were like that and we’re diagnosed even younger then 6 to have adah,add,autism kids act out for various reasons but my advice would be have him evaluated ASAP and take that ipad away for awhile don’t give it back even for a minute.Tell him when his behaviors get better he could have some time on it.Has there been any changes or anything that’s happened when you noticed his behaviors get worse?If you could go to store while he’s at school do it or do curb pick up instead.Make a star chart and give him a star for every time he makes a good choice .keep in mind he will still mess up so go off of him just doing better for now.At the end of 10 stars he gets something like a snack or watches a movie just anything that he would like.Have him help make his chart to.I used to get little party favor toys and stickers just some little cheap things my kids liked and I would right things on a paper like gets 10 extra minutes of tv or bubble bath party ,pop cycle anything really.Praise him alot on everything he does good.When he does bad remind him of why he wants to make good choices and tell him it makes you sad when he does bad choices.Explain to him what he did wrong and what making a better choice would look like even act it out with him so he can see it and hear it.DONT ARGUE that does absolutely nothing.If arguing starts tell him you love him and will be back after he’s calmed down then go back and try again.Things will take time but be PATIENT and try to keep in mind he’s 6 and is still learning and until you have better answers on why he’s acting like this there’s only so much you can do…Take breaks if your overwhelmed and please please self care that’s a must for you…YOU GOT THIS
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I’m willing to bet you don’t follow through with threats to take things away and you’re not consistent.
Don’t let people diagnose him with ADHD right off the bat and medicate him. He honestly sounds like a typical 6 year old boy who doesn’t get to burn enough of his energy outside playing. Plus he knows that he doesn’t have to take moms threats seriously because mom doesn’t follow through.
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My 5 yo is the same! Doesnt listen runs off in the store, super rude and basically lost all trust. I want to take him and his 2 yo sister to the museum but im scared he will just take off. He also doesn’t care about times outs snd getting things taken away
Take away whatever he loves the most!!!
parent child interactive therapy is amazing!
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Leash type attachment. Reward him when he does listen. Definitely get his hearing checked
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Does your son have any disabilities? This sounds like my boys. They have severe intellectual disability and autism. We don’t really go anywhere unless someone else is with us for this reason. Get him evaluated.
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I had a very strong willed child who did not flinch at any kind of discipline. She was a challenge but I never gave up. I stayed consistent and I kept talking and by the grace of God, and after some difficult lessons in her early adulthood, I am grateful to say, at 26 years old- we survived. And you will too, mama.
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Is this new behavior or has it always been like that and now it’s more of an issue because he’s older? Follow through with your punishments more, and in public get him one of those backpack things and explain to him why he has to wear one. I know some people will give you looks but better then having him take off in front of a car or getting hurt in someway.
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Mine tried this with me. I took away EVERYTHING. There was no tv, tech of any kind, toys removed from the room as well, not even books in there. He wasn’t allowed any candy nor sweets at all. He was told plain and simple that if I don’t see good behaviors, he won’t earn any of it back. We went to the park but if he acted up before we went he didn’t get to play on the equipment only walk the track with me. Was he upset, YEP. Did he want to go play, of course. But I stayed consistent and the behaviors stopped. (He had seen Drs, counseling, and all that prior) he was just acting like an entitled brat because dad would barely ever see him so when he spent time he gave him NO rules, NO limits,and even told him that he didn’t have to listen to me nor respect me. Once I put my foot down he woke up to the fact it won’t fly with mom. Now he’s respectful and does much better. He hasn’t been grounded or any of the sort in 2years, gets good grades, and we haven’t had a problem.
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Why not take him for testing my son is autistic and hard to get to listen. Its gotten better but he has his moments. Also put him in the cart when u shop. Thats what we did with our kids. I taught my daughters u need to stay near me and if they’d run off I talk to them bout the dangers of it.
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Did you catch him and leave the store? Immediately?
Before you go into stores get down to his level and calmly but firmly tell/remind him that there are rules he needs to follow and if he breaks any of them haul him out of that store, take him home and take some things away from him for a few weeks. Also instead of a child leash I used a plastic spiral elastic to loop around my daughter’s and my wrists. It works way better because they’re right beside you, and it also doesn’t look so weird. I still do that with my 6 year old daughter in crowded places to make sure she doesn’t get separated from me
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Get down on his level make sure you keep eye contact and have him pick his punishment…it worked for my daughter at that age…may work for you as well…
Reading this, I am so glad I’m done having kids lol ! I had 3 boys, and this sounds like a normal 6-yr old boy! Don’t worry! This is still the easy part lol!
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I have no real advise. I think testing him is a good option, but to rule it out. People are so quick to point the autism/adhd finger, but my niece is a great example of that. She never had him tested, had him taken away and we got him tested and turns out it’s just who he is. We worked with him and I 100% agree consistency is what boys need, way more than girls but obv girls need it too and in different ways. I just hope you can figure him out and I hope he caved and realizes who the parent is in this son and mother relationship. Kids are so difficult these days and especially what everyone’s been through these last couple of years. Everyone having to readapt is a real struggle after being in our homes for years now. Maybe that could be a part of it. Maybe he’s bullied and he doesn’t understand it. Maybe he is autistic. Maybe he needs something new from you/dad. There’s so many variables at play. If his current physician isn’t getting to the bottom of it, it’s time to move on. Therapy is also an idea. I hope you figure him out!
You cant fix a negative behavior with a negative reaction, I strongly suggest parenting classes
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Run your house like a boot camp. Make him earn what he has. This boy needs to be taught respect.
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Spanked him on his feet ?
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You spanked him on his feet? I’m sorry but even as an adult, I don’t see the correlation between that punishment and the behavior you’re trying to correct so I doubt it makes sense to him.
I have a 6 year old boy too and if he starts to play in the store I only give him one warning to stop and if he doesn’t then he has to put his hands in his pockets for the remainder of the trip and for some reason he absolutely hates to do that but it works
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I always talked to my kids kinda like grownups when they need to be inside/well behaived. Seems like they take pride in being good that way. I always explained to them why we dont/do. Why its dangerous, etc. Ive never said “do this because im your mother” i dont feel like they learn much from that explaining WHY pays off in the long run
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As soon as my kids misbehave in the store they go straight into the cart (6 and 4). If they can behave, they are allowed to be out. I’ve had too many shopping trips end with me in tears. Set clear, firm boundaries that they understand AND that you enforce.
Maybe listen to the book, 123 magic
I would first share my safety concerns, without sugar coating it. I also explain to my children that I’m not just a mom, I’m a person with feelings, I explain how sad it makes me when they behave this way. My children seem to be very receptive to this. Children can be extremely empathetic once they understand it hurts you. To note, I only use this method if things have really gotten out of control and they are actually hurting me, or breaking me down mentally.
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All i can say is
Buckle up
Cause the older they get the better They become at selective deafness
its all about consistency
Im very frankly with my kids, I tell my 7 year old as well as my nearly 4 years old that they need to stay with mama because there are bad people out there who could take and hurt them and they may never seen me again.
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I would send him to his room at home with no devices and can’t come out until he’s been quiet and you say so. Then start rewarding his good behaviour like noticing the littlest things and thanking him for that. Get on his level and make sure both have eye contact when explaining things to him.
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Hes just being 6 lol. That’s how they act at that age ,they r learning and exploring ,allow him to touch things in the store. Make a list with photos and give him a copy of it mabe get a child size cart allow him to help pick out the groceries or whatever is needed make him his own list so he can put whats on it in his cart. Just involve him in every day things. He doesn’t need to b punished for being a child or taken to a doctor or anything 
that’s silly there’s no reason for that. Just let him b a child get on his level talk with him about how he can help u at the store or with household chores. Don’t take away stuff. Spanking isn’t a good idea either. Hope it all works out for you.
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There’s not a generic answer. Parenting is tough at times. Some kids can really channel our frustration on the daily. My oldest was the same way. It took alotnof patience and understanding on my part and also some family therapy. He is now turning 15 tomorrow and has done a complete 360. Hang in there momma!
I made my kids at that age and now my grandchildren keep their hands on the cart. If they took their hands off I would hold my hand over theirs. I definitely don’t believe in spanking their feet that’s counter productive. Just because their feet led them away doesn’t mean they have a mind of their own and need a whooping. Six year olds are curious and are still new they weren’t born knowing what to do it’s our job as parents to teach them the correct behavior.
So I think first you need to see someone about your issues. “spanked him on his feet”?! That’s terrible.
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My youngest did this around 3. I happen to run in to an older couple I knew and had them go up to her as if they were trying to lure her away. That scared her straight. Never left our side in the store again.
It’s just a phase, momma. I know it’s hard now, but you will laugh about it with his kids one day.
Try taking him to the park or on a good walk before going on any errands and let him release some energy.
Stimulate his mind with fun “work” that can be mentally tiring.
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He’s bored shopping.
What guy wants to go to the store/mall?
I used to get a babysitter for a couple hours so we both wouldn’t be tortured.
When your out in public maybe try wrist leash so he can’t run away and when you get home take the thing you said you would away lock it up and and explain his behaviors are not wanted and make him do a time out or chore for punishment like dusting or sweeping. Also maybe cut amount sugars and anything with red dye that might help 
stay positive momma your doing great.
Squat or get down on your knees to be eye level with him, speak calmly and look in their eyes. Sometimes it just them wanting you to actually see them. Best of luck
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Here comes the Karen’s about to rip her a new one for smacking her own damn child, too many bubble wrapped kids these days, I’m so traumatised after being smacked by my parents, how am I not broken
If he don’t mind while you are shopping start leaving him with someone at home. You got to get control over him while he is younger if not he will be even worse when he’s older.
can he hear–check hearing 1st.
He’s bored and testing his limits. Try making up a game while at the store. Most of the time I play a chasing game but with limits. My kiddo just turned 6. Try playing with him more or different activities. My kiddo wasn’t listening either until I took the tablet/phone away and started doing different activities and I’ve seen a huge difference with his behavior.
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No Advice, I’m in the same boat with an extremely defiant almost 6 year old girl. The attitude is almost unbearable.
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My 4 almost 5 year old does the same. We started therapy for ADHD & possibly start medication when he turns 5.
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Let him be.I also have a 6 year old and she’s the same.I just run after her and let her know that kidnapping is a real thing and people will take her away so you will find me at the store screaming my child’s name non stop…it’s tiring but it’s also my job.The way I see it,children don’t ask to be born and we can’t expect children to behave like adults…They do eventually grow out off it.
Would get my son’s involved in shopping they have their list and we play shopping bingo , but they have to hold the cart or have their own sons love getting involved , and if they are good they get a special treat this might be going to the playground to making biscuits or just going to feed the ducks
Give him a check list or help you find things… be like oh I don’t where this is can you help me? My 4 year old is the exact same, it just takes a lot of distraction to keep him as calm as possible.
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While in the store, if he runs around… then place him in the cart with the buckles. He wont like it but he will learn that the store is not a play area. If there are things you dont want him to touch at HOME… then I suggest baby proofing. Thats his home and he should be free to run around and play safely. Baby proof the things that are dangerous for him to touch and continue to enforce the “no touching that” rule.
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First off get on his level, make eye contact, explaining why what he’s doing is wrong and also explain there’s consequences if it continues and follow through
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Get him tested for autism
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Give him what our parents gave us on the behind bet he’ll listen then. This what’s wrong with children today parents don’t spank their hindends anymore just let’s them do what they want. You better start now if you don’t it’s going to be to late. Spank him a few times and make it hurt
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You are hitting your kid and making him miserable. Reward good behaviour and tell him you are not going to give him your attention if he’s badly behaved. Taking away things isn’t working but often taking away your interaction is more effective. When things are calmer, explain why he needs to stand by you in the store. Does he need to? Could he look at something as long as you can still see him? Give him responsibility. You’ve given him an iPad but not the opportunity to not have to stay right next to you? Don’t try to talk to him when he’s ignoring you. There’s no point and he’s controlling you.
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Then you don’t get to go to the store if you don’t listen. Natural consequences.
I’m going to ignore the spanking part of this because I don’t believe it’s remotely effective or helpful but you already have enough comments about that.
No more trips to the store for awhile. Make it a point to take him with you to do curbside pickup and talk about how fun it would have been to go shopping with him. Slowly reintroduce shopping tips by taking him in a smaller store like Walgreens. Have him help you find items or carry hand basket. Make it big time about his job and his responsibility. When you start going to the superMarket with him again give him items to find and an acceptable distance that he can walk away from you. If he can make it all the way though to check out without going too far more than twice he gets a sticker. Two stickers if he stays close the whole trip. If he gets 5 stickers saved he can pick something small at the next trip.
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Pop that ass and done
I know the answer to this one! You have to take him to the store for something he likes and advise him of your expectations in a very short clear list. Ask him if he knows what the expectations are and have him tell you. Go in to the store and wait for him to act up. Remove him from the store and go home without buying anything. It may take a few missions but if you’re clear and consistent he will get the point!
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Just get him tested. It could be a number of things. Autism, ADHD, your child could be acting out due to new or ongoing stress in the house. Like I said. It could be a number of things. Not really that your kid doesn’t want to listen.
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Spanking his feet wow 
My daughter is 7 and she has ADHD and that’s how it started. Go get him tested
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Take a parenting class, take a communication class, ask your individual therapist if they teach dbt skills and learn some emotion management skills, and learn how to meet your child where they are at instead of getting caught up in some deranged control dynamic that has you believing its okay to hit a child.
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With my kids if they act out we leave the store. I reward them when they listen. Spanking doesn’t work with mine.
Put him in the cart. And a wooden spoon works great.
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Have his ears checked
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Corner time wall sits writing sentences
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First of all you have to have consistent follow through. Don’t make a threat and not make good on it. He will call your bluff “not listening”. There are some great videos on you tube love and logic. They are mostly short clips but I’m promise of you get the skills down that parenting style will take the fight put of parenting if you use it consistently
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I make them get in the basket if they don’t listen
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