My 11 year old daughter is a bully. And she enjoys it. This isn’t a simple sharing issue. She is acting like a mean girl. And she’s sneaky about it. Got the girl alone to tell her everyone hates her and she has no friends. She has picked on this girl all year to the point she wants to move. I’ve grounded. Removed privileges. Had her write letters of apology to the student and their parents. The school is useless and hasn’t informed me after I’ve specified they do. It was the mother of the victim who contacted me. My daughter told her sister she was ‘out for revenge’ cause she told on her. She can also be the sweetest girl. She isn’t a troubled child. Straight A student. But likes to be the popular center of attention. Like at all times. I believe it’s a pecking order thing and besides publicly shaming her I’m totally out of ideals. Please help! I never thought I would raise a mean girl!
What about therapy? I don’t believe in public shaming cuz that will solve absolutely nothing.
Ask her if she likes it when she is bullied…and ground her, take away all of her priveledges, her phone if she has one…stay consistent and strict and maybe have her start seeing the school counselor regularly
Beat her ass??? Hello 
Well from the parent of a bullied child…she will pick on the the wrong one one day and her lesson will be learned the hard way
Therapy for sure, there is a reason she is acting out. You may not know what it is but something is going on.
The way this world is and how bad bullys can be i would have no issues publicly shaming my child! Kids these days are committing suicide so young because of being bullied. Id find a day to sit in class with her all day and make her wear a sign about how shes a big bully. Embarrass her one good time see how she likes it!
Have her try meditation and meditate with her so she’s actually doing it.
She needs a taste of her own medicine
Take all gadgets including tv an do not return them give them to the poor girl
Glad I’m not the mom of the bullied girl. I’d take matters into my own hands…#sorrynotsorry
Publicly shame her or beat her ass. Bully her at home like she does the girl. Show her how it feels. Before she drives that poor girl to something life altering and serious.
Beat her ass real good one time and keep her in the house.
She NEEDS therapy! Period!
I say public shaming!
I would put a sign around her neck that says I’m a bully see how she likes it
Sounds like she needs a hobby or that ass whooped. Or both.
If she ain’t learning, military school would be my choice. Community service. Acts of kindness. I am a mean mom tho 
I would take her to a counlor
I think she needs professional help
Give her a taste of her own medicine
First off I’m WAYYYY proud of you! So many parents do nothing now a days, so you rock in my eyes! But honestly you have to hit her where it hurts, get stricter. Take away electronics, make her miss parties, don’t let her go to her favourite summer camp etc! Obviously what you have taken away isn’t working so she needs something stiffer. OR make her watch YouTube videos about kids that are picked on and then eventually commit suicide… if that doesn’t hit her hard then she needs some mental help because that means she’s lacking empathy. Or take her to the police station and let them explain how very serious this is if it continues.
Give her a spanking! Don’t beat her but spank her butt! And let her know it’s not okay! And EVERYTIME she does it you will whoop her. And speak to her about how she needs to be treating people. Or else one day someone is going to mess with her. High school and middle school are right around the corner. She needs to learn before she is the little one getting picked on!
Apparently you’re not too hard on her. Smack her across the face. Bullies are the worst things ever. Get her mental help. Shitty parenting
Take away all of her cool clothes and accessories. Have her wear a tshirt and sweats to school every day for a month. My girls cried like babies when I did it. Straightened them right out. If she does it again, another month.
Tear her butt up. What is wrong with parents that believe in using a firm hand on the butt and teaching kids that they are not the boss they have rules and not bein a bully is a major rule.
Send her outside in an adult diaper holding a sign saying she’s a bully that will fix her fast .
Good job for seeking advice. One way or another she has to be stopped, or else one of her victims will stop her for good one day. Kids are being taught to stand up now a days…
Either take her to a pre-teen jail tour, or pull her out of school this year & homeschool her for the year. If she can behave, she gets to go back to public school, if not she can homeschool til she graduates 
Therapy. Public shaming will likely only make her behaviors worse. If she can be publicly shamed, that’s kind of sending mixed messages given she’s a bully.
Good for you for trying to stop the problem and getting involved. Put that girl in therapy and see what’s causing this. She’s going to mess with the wrong girl or drive another to self harm.
I’d personally take her for a visit to a mental health ward so she can see the lasting effects of her behaviour. Have one of the psychs talk to her about empathy. Children don’t understand the damage they do to each other with such ease…
Threaten to take her out of school and send her to military school. That’s bull and should not have been allowed to happen for a year.
Invite the family over for dinner. Get the girls on a more private level. Sometimes they end up.being friends
Keep grounding her.Take her to the person she bullied and make her apologize.There are no bullying sights.Make her get involved in a no bullying program
She is crying for help.
Whoop her ass firm believer in whipping children when it is 100% deserved not just because they did something out of character threatened her with homeschool she wants to be in the popular krowd threatened her with old school let her know that she hang out with your friends at school she’ll be grounded after she’s done with her school work as well that way she’ll be home 24/7 with no one around her might kick her ass in gear
Pull her out and put her in online homeschool. Sounds like some social isolation is in order.
Make her wear something embarrassing out in public. Bully her too, treat he like how she treats other. Beat the shit outta her. People are so scared to whoop their kid’s asses these days. That’s how they learn. That’s how they know u ain’t playing and that they will get it. Make her feel like how she makes those other girl feels.
Therapy. I’d also take away all privileges such as cell phone (if she has one), TV time and no hanging out with friends. Be strict with her if it fails I say military school.
Do not resort to violence or publicly shaming. You want to teach her NOT to be like that and that will teach her that’s ok to do. Best thing is to get a psych evaluation and see why she’s acting out. EDIT: if you don’t nip it in the bud, the older she gets the worse it’ll get. Do it now!
Behavioral therapy might be good for her
Look up on YouTube parenting tricks for kids that are bullies.
Thank you for being this mom!
Someone is going to come along badder than her and not back down from her. You should also warn her that a scared person will kill you!! It’s unladylike and very distasteful. She will have the worse reputation and even ruin her chances in having a boyfriend in the future because of her disgusting ways. It will catch up with her… I promise you. And maybe sooner than later. If she’s still of age, SPANK HER!
I’m with Kara… ! Therapy !
She needs a therapist ASAP.
Go to a couselor and get to the bottom of it. I used to say, spank their butt but with some kids that just doesn’t work. Work it out before she messes with the wrong kid and she ends with a black eye.
Good luck mama!
Man you’re lucky that other mom hasn’t told her kid to swing on yours yet.
Because if it was my kid I’d be turning a blind eye to self defense.
But at least you’re actively trying to get the behavior stopped, so that’s a great thing and shows that even if she’s acting out you’re not a bad parent.
You need to talk to the bullied girl, let her know this isn’t acceptable and not how you raised her & are trying. As someone who was bullied I’d be happy to hear parents were getting involved.
Public shame if you have to.
Pay another kid to bully her to show her how it feels.
She’s making that other girl feel.miserable for her own joy, that’s not ok.
Kids who are bullies are formed by something going on in their home. Bullying is a form of power.
Therapy. It’s likey from a deep rooted mental problem or insecurity and shaming her or hitting her will backfire. I’m literally in school to be a psychology major and work with adolescents. She needs help.
She needs counseling. She must have some issues with temper. Is it a single parent family? Does she get positive attention from them? Lot of things go on in a child’s mind between ages of 10 & 13. Have her write her feelings down on paper- why she is a bully? She needs some help… sooner the better.
Bust her butt! Take everything out of her room. Her bed, clothes, etc. Leave her with a outfit per day & a mattress with no door. Call it Jail. Its how its going to be when she gets into so much trouble, she can’t get out of. Don’t let her go anywhere this summer! She can clean & do yard work.
If you don’t want to do that. The Police department has programs that can help. They’re pretty tough (way worse then what I’m saying but they work!). The programs are ment to be tough, harsh & not fun.
Send her away. Take away her secure world, let her struggle.
Made my daughter wear a shirt that said “bullying” in the circle with a line going through it, then put tomato sauce on the shirt. (I told the school before I sent her to school so don’t freak out y’all!) She needed to learn
This what you need in handy . That is her therapy. Use a damm slipper or a belt thats one way she will learn.
I think that she should be taken to juvenile detention for a few days and see what goes on in their just maybe she will see what it’s like to be bullied.
She needs to see a therapist. There could be an underlying issue you may not be seeing.
This is very hard to acknowledge first there is a problem and than the hardest is ask for help… you have done both of teh hardest things… now find a good child psychologist not a psychiatrist. And both of you or any other family members involved go … it will get better from here .
Bullies usually have underlying issues that they don’t talk about and take out on others counseling seems to be something you might wanna look into
Start treating her the way she is treating others and whip that butt. I told my son and daughter if they bully someone I will be their bully on top of spanking their butts. You treat people the way you want to be treated so if you are mean then you get it back.
FIRST OFF. I commend you for trying to fix the problem!!
This has got to be hard for you!! 
But personally, I would be the “mean” mom right back. When you take her school clothes shopping. Buy clothes she would never wear! Everytime you go out, take her with you and make her wear an “I’m a bully” sign. Coming from someone who’s bestfriend committed susicide because of being bullied I take it serious. And so should she… because if she bullied this girl to the point she chose to kill herself and left a note stating it was because of your daughter she would end up in prison… so I’d say public shaming is nothing compared to prison! Good luck momma!!!
Take away all of her privileges. Don’t let her go anywhere. No “fun” until she learns. Bullying is so much more these days with the increase of children committing suicide. Good for you mom! I am so happy you are taking a stand and are paying attention.
You better nip that shit ASAP! She’ll either fuck with the wrong kid or possibly be the cause of a child taking their life!
Take EVERYTHING out of her room, give her a mattress on the floor and that’s it. It’ll be a pain in the butt but tell her that’s what a jail cell would be like. Worked on my brother. Take the door of the hinges as well. No privacy, nothing.
She has some underlying problems… She needs some pshych help…
Take away all the stuff that makes her “cool” … the clothes the accessories the electronics the cute pens or whatever the heck it may be at her age .because this behavior is due to her ego /self image
Take it down to the bare minimum.
Sweat pants and a t shirt to school for a while won’t kill her.
She needs a good beating, if my daughter was the victim I’d tell her to give her a taste of her own medicine, she wants to disrespect you do it back! Kids don’t give a shit now a days and that’s sad. Everybody is like get her help blah blah no the girl is a bully and I’m sure this isn’t the only girl she’s being mean too & im sure she’ll get worse to “get her revenge”! She likes to be the center of attention and I’m sure she gets it by treating this poor girl like shit infront of everyone!
I don’t believe in public humiliation. She needs a butt whooping that’s for sure. Therapy could also be a good option, there may be something wrong with her deep down.
Pull her out of school. Gonna be a bully?guess wbo gets to be homeschooled and have no friends? Thats right. You do you little asshole.
Ask the child(victim) what it daughter is saying. Nd for example if it’s how she dresses than I have ur child go nd pack up all her clothes put it in a bag drive to the other child(victim) home nd tell ur daughter if shes gonna bully then shes giving away her clothes to her nd go to the thrift store nd buy some clothes for her. Nd ask her would she like it if she did it to you(ur child)
Dress her in some back in the day hand me downs for an entire week or the behaviour changes then arrange with her teacher for her to apologize in front of her entire class with the parents present along with grounding & taking away priveliges! Also make her perform one act of kindness daily to random strangers…have her volunteer for the homeless & pick up trash in ur community! Gotta being her down to earth…sorry you’re going thru this but good job momma for not allowing or condoning it! We cant always help what our kids do or how they behave as I myself swore my kids would never get away with half what my 2 year old does but spanking & timeouts & or anything else I’ve tried doesnt work when she gets in that headstrong mood of hers! Prayers & again…good for u for calling her out on her shit!
My grandson started off being a bully…ever time he bullied…his dad really bullied him…hes not a bully anymore…hes actually more caring
They get to school and want to be popular and accepted by any means necessary.
Have you tried sitting down you and your daughter, with the girl and her mom, and have a face to face talk?
My mama would’ve whopped me seven ways to Sunday and put me on punishment. But to each it’s own. 
Well she probably would’ve seen if I was having any other problems, then beat my little ass. Do some investigating Mom.
if she’s bullying like this with enjoyment, she “is a troubled child”. Sorry to pop that bubble, but kids that do this have issues at home or internally.
Those of us who have kids who have been bullied, our first thoughts go to reprimanding and punishment. But on the flip side, let’s start at the core of the problem, find out what the core of the problem is and then get the teaching and lessons in line with that.
Like, Why!? Why, does she do it? WHY, does she like it? Does this make her feel good about herself? Does it make her feel powerful? Does it make her feel in control? And if so… what has made her feel she wasn’t, unless she emotionally beats down another???
Maybe talk to your local police department. See if they can help?
Have a meeting with the other child and parents w/you and your daughter to nip it in the bud since it has something to do with the other child telling on her for what ever reason
Take her to see a therapist
Whoop her ass. 
my mother would’ve smacked the hell outta me if I bullied anyone. She used to take everything exceot my bed outta my room
Therapy. Something is going on that is making her crave power, and a therapist will help you identify it…and help you brainstorm healthy ways to end it.
Possibly needs a counselor.I would force her into counseling.I would take everything away from her also
Threaten to take her out of school and homeschool her or to go to school with her everyday. Take all gadgets, even her bed frame. Just a mattress and a dresser. Take away birthdays and Christmas extras like gifts. Also look into those scared straight programs, as well as look into getting her arrested for her behavior.
Therapy you’ve got a problem child!
Shaming could backfire not knowing what her issues are punishment should fit the crime but find out why she is doing it first
My cousin had this problem with her daughter… She set up a weekend trip to juvie and then took away all her cool in style clothes went to goodwill bought a few plain colored shirts and sweatpants and Velcro shoes made her wear only these for a month and also took away cell phone tablet tv anything fun. She’s never had this problem again. And her daughter even sticks up for the kids getting bullied now.
I would take her to a therapist and get to the root of it. It sounds like your daughter has some issues that you are unable to address. Probably because she does not understand herself. Also, she will bully the wrong child and they will knock her on her butt.
Publicly shame her. Make her stand in front of the school in the morning with a sign that says. I’m a bully or something. Do it for a week straight
She needs help. Counseling is necessary. Also the girl she’s being a bully to needs to tell her off at school. Let her know she’s not going to put up with her. Your daughter may not like it when the tables are turned.
Go to classes with your child and see how she does. Then if possible just pop in and let her see you in the door. "Just passing thru. " never go at a set time. She will realize you are everywhere. Go take lunch with her peal a grape mash it put it up your nose sneeze very embarrassing for her! Cured my boys! And I have 5!
Tell her you will take her out of school & put her in a school for mean girls.
Maybe invite the girl to hang out with your daughter and make her hang out with her outside of school to show her that she is like her more than she thinks. 
Could you have a “cool” older than her girl/ younger woman she admires come in and talk to her alone? Explain that being cool doesn’t mean being mean. Maybe the older girl can take her out to do some community service together for troubled teens?
My kids would lose everything. They’d have a bed, pillow, blanket and one set of clothes for each day. At the end of the week they’ll be washing their own clothes. They don’t wash them then I guess they’ll be qearing dirty clothes to school. No toys of any kind, only books, no door to their room, school and home. Once home it’s homework, dinner, bath and bed. Let me catch one of my kids bullying someone and they’ll wish they hadn’t.
Not all kids who bully have an u derlying issue. They do it because they see it and they want to fit in and be popular. Your kid will learn when another kid lays her ass out.
Jail tour (my old friends mom did that to her once and took me along haha), you, or even someone you know that can, sit in school with her everyday, take away ALL privileges(phone,tablets,WiFi, tv, everything).
She’s 11, she’d be getting an ass whooping in this house…
Public shaming will just make it worse. I would try Therapy and the home “jail” show her that is where she will end up if she keeps on the same path. Jail meals and all, I had at one point two teenage kids that lived with me (family issues) I told them I didn’t have to get them clothes they liked and video games. I made them use gray sweat pants and a plain white tee shirt everyday during the summer. I took everything away that was just extra. Made them do yard work, clean, I had them down scrubing base boards. This lasted two weeks and they straighted up. They still had the occasional issue but nothing major.
Spend more time with her, she might be acting out because she’s feeling alone at home😥
If she won’t stop, I’d homeschool or online school.